The Red Line
by WinndSinger
Summary: Edward is an exotic male dancer. Bella is a college student studying psychology and needs a subject to do her thesis on. Bella pays Edward to belong to her for 2 weeks so she can study him. Things soon get very interesting between them.
1. Chapter 1

EPOV

No kid ever stands up on the stage at school and says, "I want to be a whore."

Back then, I used to say I wanted to be a doctor. My friends would say cop, fireman, soldier…those are nice dreams too.

But this is the real world…and dreams just don't come true. I know that now.

I am a whore. My name is Edward. There are no last names when you're a whore so I am not a Cullen right now. It's time to punch in for work.

Every night I get to be a cop, a fireman, a soldier, Tarzan…in a way.

I enter from the back door, to this huge establishment called "Fire". It's a club for women, there is no man's night, there are no gay clientele allowed in. That's the one thing I've never done and at least I have that to cling onto.

I am for women only. And that is no small boast. And don't be fooled. It's not only young, beautiful women I see. All ages, young, middle aged, even senior citizens pursued me here. I am always good to all of them.

Women are every bit as horny as men, more so, I think, since I came to work here.

I figured women would be soft and gentle with me. I figured wrong. Women came here to get drunk and fondle half naked men.

It was rare that I found one that stroked me softly instead of grabbed me hard. Their screams deafened me sometimes. I always laugh when I hear someone call women the weaker sex. Wrong. They are powerful, strong, and insatiable. I know.

After punching my card, I go down the hall to see where I'll be starting tonight. It is only 5pm, the sun is going down. Twilight. The saddest time of day for me. This is when my day as normal Edward Cullen ends…and I become whatever is written in my box on the board.

Under my name, I see the black word 'Vampire'. Shit, is it October again?!

Emmett sits back in his unfolded metal chair in front of his mirror and smirks at me.

"Vampire man!" Emmett teased, "Halloween is coming again!"

Then he let out his usual vampire hiss as I smiled back at him, walking sideways behind his chair to get to mine, to the left of his area.

I was never one to complain about my assignments, or my job. That's why Victoria seemed to like me from the start. Oh, Victoria's the boss here. The other guys loved to bitch about stupid things but I didn't want to endanger my job here. I needed it. So I did what I was told and shut my mouth.

"I don't mind being a vampire," I said as I put my duffle bag on the floor by my feet, opening my drawer and taking out my plastic container that said 'VAMPIRE' on it, "But the makeup is a bitch to get off."

"I know." Emmett agreed, "At least you're fair enough that you don't have to put it all over your body! I had a nice tan once and had to cover myself with that white crap."

I huffed, thanking God for small favors as I took my shirt off, tossing it in the open duffle bag at my feet, not wanting make up to ruin it. I quietly went to work dotting on the white foundation then blended it in until I just looked extremely white. I didn't like to go corny vampire.

I tried to make it subtle but still able to see that I was one. I did a little makeup around my eyes and I gave myself a little deep red for my lips to stand out a bit and blotted it so it wouldn't come off when I kissed someone.

Then I was ready to put in my eyes. Red…or gold? I tilted my head from side to side, deciding tonight to be a good vampire, gold eyes. Maybe later in the month, closer to Halloween, I'd be evil then.

I hated plastic vampire teeth. Slobbery, too white looking, gross. I had the real thing, porcelain fangs that glued onto my own teeth, the same color as my real teeth. I had even gotten pretty good at talking with these on now.

Besides, women loved sweet, sad, innocent vampire Edward more than wicked, demented sexy vampire Edward. Besides, the red contacts hurt my eyes more, for some reason.

In a couple minutes, my gold eyes were in and I gave a hiss to my mirror, getting into my role. One thing you have to be good at here, is acting. Another reason Victoria appreciates me is because no matter what happens, no matter how I'm feeling, when I step over the red line into the club area where the customers are, I become what I'm dressed as. And I never, ever treat any woman badly, or even frown at them. I am theirs and I always look as if I'm having the time of my life, always smiling and laughing, always loving whatever they do with me.

Women use me – that's my job. And I am very good at it.

I stood up to go to my closet and take out my costume for the vampire. Yes, every dancer makes or buys their own costumes, nothing is given to us except our assignment. My outfit tonight consisted of black leather bands around my wrists, no shirt, and tight black leather pants that were really more like shorts, with jagged ripped shreds hanging a little down my legs, half my ass exposed.

The idea was that I had once been wearing leather pants but they were savagely torn off me, almost. Victoria loved it when I first showed it to her. She had final say in costumes. No shoes or socks, either. And then, of course, my collar. It was a simple black leather collar, covering my entire throat. It had a large silver ring in the middle and it jingled whenever I moved even in the slightest way.

I oiled up my body next, which took an incredible amount of time. But this was another rule here. Always oiled, always look shiny and buff at all times.

It was 7:45pm and it was nearly time for me to be taken to my cage. Yes, vampire man works in a cage. He is very dangerous, after all. For the dancer being vampire, Victoria would personally escort him to the cage and have full say over who got inside. The more a woman wants to pay to be in the cage with me for a period of time, the longer she can join me.

For the right price, I even would sometimes have my hands bound over my head while they had their way with me. Not sexually, of course. At Fire, there's no prostitution. Well, that's what they tell the police, anyway. The truth is, there is no prostitution out in the open, where customers at their tables can see. And the women are not shy about asking for me privately. I must get about 15-20 offers every night, phone numbers, cards, invitations.

And Victoria also escorted the vampire to his cage because she never wanted us to break character in front of the customers. If women were out there, I could never just walk casually over to the cage and let myself in.

No, that's not realistic. Victoria would have to put the leash on my collar and drag me to the cage, forcing me in, as she would treat any real vampire. Okay, Victoria, whatever you say. I think she just gets off on it, personally. But she is the boss.

I was waiting for her to come and get me, sitting on my countertop and chatting with Emmett as he put the finishing touches on his camouflage soldier costume.

Jasper, another dancer, was also a friend of mine. He was to the right of Emmett's station and he would be a cop first tonight.

I was drinking my usual cherry icee, which worked to make my lips look even more reddish while I waited for my lady captor. Victoria and I got along pretty well and I've had much worse bosses.

Finally, we could hear women's voices outside, in the club area, and I could see Victoria coming through the dressing room curtains now. I stood up, tossing out my drink and checking my teeth in the mirror. Good, nice and white…fangs secure.

"Edward?" she smiled at me with her twinkling blue eyes as her hair fell in long ringlets past her ivory shoulders. Very beautiful. What man would mind being on a leash with her in control?

"Victoria!" I smiled at her, leaning in and giving her a kiss on the lips. She always kissed all of us. This was perfectly normal.

"Mmmm." She grinned at me, "Cherry. Nice touch."

I got my leash from my closet and clipped it onto the silver ring at my neck, handing her the other end.

"560 calories in one of those slushies." Emmett reminded, looking up at us, sitting in his chair, "You should forbid him to drink those, Vic."

"Hey" she motioned over my body with her hand, "As long as he looks like THIS, he can drink any damn thing he wants to, okay?!"

I laughed, rolling my eyes as Emmett chuckled, eating his usual apple wedges before the first show.

Victoria looked at me and asked, "Are you going to give me a hard time, Edward?"

"Don't I always?" I smirked, giving her my smoldering eyes as she gave a light tug on my leash.

"Yes." She smiled more, "You are one of my favorite vampires. You always put up a good fight."

"So do I!" Emmett reminded, never wanting to be left out of Victoria's love.

"Yes, so do you, Emmett, I still love you, don't worry." Victoria gave him a nice kiss on the lips now while I waited, shaking my head chuckling at them. Emmett has been here the longest, one of the first dancers to work at Fire a few years ago. I had been here a couple of years now and every time Victoria showed me any affection, Emmett got threatened.

"Jealous." I teased him, slowly walking after Victoria through the curtains, down a long black hallway. At the end of this hallway was the red line on the floor. This is the line between me and the customers. Once I cross it, I belong to them.

One thing I loved about working here is that the club is very dark. I never see myself in a mirror anywhere in the club and I can act as weird as I like and not be humiliated, because I am kind of anonymous in the blackness. There are lights so the women can see me, but to me it feels like being underwater. I become a different person when I cross the red line and Edward Cullen doesn't exist. I feel safe this way.

Victoria crossed the red line now and gave me a hard yank on my leash.

It begins.

I fell to my knees and roared hard, pulling backwards slightly, not giving her that much of a real struggle. But we always made it look good.

"Come on, you stubborn little PRICK!!" she groaned, struggling and dragging me over the red line now, into public view.

I am now captured vampire, being dragged to my cage to entertain mortal women. Edward is gone now.

"RRRRRRRR!!!!" I growled, bucking back again, slowly being moved towards tables of women, getting closer to human blood.

"Don't be afraid, ladies. I've got him under control." Victoria announced as she brought me closer. Right away I heard screams, giggles, and cat calls.

"This is our vampire." Victoria had a little microphone on her lapel as she spoke.

I lunged away and hissed loudly as the human women as they screamed louder, liking me already, it seemed.

"He's being very naughty tonight." Victoria groaned, pulling me harder, "And he's going to be punished by all of us, later tonight!"

Screams, giggles. I crawled reluctantly, struggling a little more.

"But be careful, he bites." Victoria said with a sexy twang in her voice, getting eager shouts from the customers, "He's very dangerous so we keep him in his little cage over here."

I crawled behind her through the tables, and felt a few hands reach out and touch me briefly as I continued my fake struggling. Getting closer to the cage, I made one last attempt at freedom by roaring, leaping up and grabbing a table where three younger girls were sitting. They all screamed as I growled, showing my teeth and clutching their table, looking right at them as Victoria dragged me away by my hair.

"Bad BOY!!" Victoria threw me into my circular cage, closing the door as I hissed again at her, my face angry and lethal. I lunged forward at her, reaching my arm through the bars and grabbing her dress as she turned, about to start the show.

Women were howling at us, laughing and cheering as Victoria turned to me, and using the disconnected leash, she whipped my hand until I retreated into my small little cell, growling in slight pain, holding my arm, licking the hurt area as more women roared.

"If you're good, later, maybe I'll let you have some friends in there with you." Victoria threatened me with the leash again while I growled defensively now, showing full teeth, "How about it, girls, who wants to spend a little time in the cage tonight?!"

The volume was enough to pop my eardrums out as they all screamed and howled again.

"Alright, ladies!" Victoria went to the main stage now, leaving me in my cage, but that didn't mean I just stood there, bored. I had to keep playing my part as kidnapped vampire.

She was announcing the first dancer, Jasper. The room went dark and police sirens blared, red and white lights danced around as if a police car was approaching. Then, you could hear Jasper's voice on a police radio, responding to a call, sounding very official.

He was onstage how, in sunglasses and his navy blue police uniform, his baton in hand as he began his routine. I couldn't even watch him right now, I had to play naughty vampire.

My cage was elevated on its own little platform, but I was near the right side of the audience, surrounded by tables. I was also to keep the women revved up between dancers so they didn't get bored.

I climbed up the poles that made my cage and pretended I was trying to find a way to get out. Tugging on the bars a little, hissing, on my knees, never standing yet…still a slave. I peeked at some women to my left, through the bars, looking innocently at them, tilting my head to the right, as if trying to understand what creatures they were. They were in their 30's, it seemed to me, but attractive.

"The vampire's staring at you." One of them said to the other, nudging her with her elbow.

I would have to win the ladies over if I wanted them in my cage tonight. I made big money when they paid to get in my cage with me.

The other woman looked me over more closely as I crawled sexily over closer against the bars, purring in my throat. I had learned to do that quiet nicely.

"Jesus, he's hot." One woman at the table commented as I gave a little hiss in her direction.

"Awww, you scared him, Nancy, nice!"

They all laughed as I gave them a little smile, curling my arms out of the bars and around each other, holding the bars as I pressed my shiny chest against them, turning my head a little to the left, to engage more of them.

One woman was very creative there. She was in her 20's, a college girl maybe, and her table was very close to my cage. Offering me a strawberry through the bars, I guessed from her drink, she was trying to tempt me over to her end.

I dropped to all fours and crawled over to her, purring again, her friends started laughing and giggling excitedly as I approached.

"Oh my GOD!" the girl with long blonde hair holding the strawberry looked nervous, trembling a little as I got closer.

Playing my part very well, I realized a vampire wouldn't eat a strawberry, but, I was here to please my girls. I almost thought of passing up the strawberry and just taking her wrist into my cage and biting it, but it was early in the night, that play would come later and I didn't want to scare the customers away.

I inhaled the strawberry, almost timidly at first, like a deer would do, but then I showed her my trust after a minute and opened my mouth fully, taking the strawberry deep into my mouth, and closing my wet lips over her fingertips, licking and sucking, kissing them in appreciation.

"GOD DAMN IT!!" she squealed, "His mouth is SO SOFT!"

Purring, I closed my eyes and let her pet my hair, still on all fours .

"I think he likes you, Rosalie!" her little friend with black, spiky hair laughed.

"Of course, I'm feeding him." She smiled at me, not taking her fingernails out of my hair. I had to admit, it felt very nice. This one was gentle. But, like I said, the night is young. I was sure to be in lots of pain later tonight after these girls got a few drinks in them. Young girls are brutal.

"He doesn't want that." The black haired one said, taking out stacks of singles, fully prepared.

Oh, my girl! Yes, I like this table.

"Give him this." She said, handing the blonde five singles.

At this, I climbed upon the bars, curling my legs in so I was off my feet but my entire body was up against the bars, waiting for her.

I held on with my hands at the near top of the cage as she fumbled a little, lifting the hem of my tiny leather bottoms near the side of my hip, and placed the five singles inside.

She went to move away but I dropped to my knees and reached through my cage, pulling her back to me by her jacket, giving her a lick up her mouth and then taking her in for a long, closed mouth kiss. If she wanted more than that, she could pay me more.

I let her go with a rough shove, knowing younger girls liked this kind of thing.

She stood there, speechless for a moment, then turned to her friend and screamed, "GIVE ME MORE OF THOSE!"

She was grabbing her friend's money like an animal. See? It doesn't take long to go from innocent young girl to raging attacker.

I also saw a third girl at their table who was just watching, and had an open notebook in front of her. What's her deal? Is she taking sketches of me or something? I put her out of my mind, staying in character as the blonde gave me a ten dollar bill now, and this time, touched my chest a little as I pinned my body to the bars so she could give me my gift.

I growled huskily as she touched me and her little spiky haired friend stood up and joined her, too, giving my ass a firm squeeze before she was through. I let them take as long as they wanted, they were being gentle with me and they were very hot so I enjoyed the moment.

"Do you talk?" the short black haired one asked curiously, smiling up at me.

I decided to shake my head no, looking sad. I would talk to them later, when they came to my cage.

"Awwww." She looked sorry for me.

"Oh come on, a man who doesn't talk is BEAUTIFUL!" a housewife said from her table, her friends all laughing with her. Even I had to smile at that one.

They came over to the other side of my cage now and waved their money at me. I hated to leave the college girl's table but I couldn't dwell on one table too long. I crawled over to the housewives and took the first lady's bills into my teeth, giving a little growl of pleasure.

I leaned up against the bars for them and five pairs of hands were on me instantly, even coming through the bars and grabbing my ass. I was used to it, but it always surprised me, the straight laced looking moms always made me feel like a piece of meat.

"Nice ass." A couple of them commented to each other as they fondled me, one of them even slid her hand down the back of my pants to feel my bare skin there. I smiled and looked pleased by them, purring in contentment.

"Forget the ass, I have something better up here." Another was rubbing my crotch without a drop of shame, roughly moving up and down with her palm, I instantly felt myself harden, an involuntary reaction but one that always earned me some extra gifts.

"WOAH!!" they cried and howled at me as I looked down at them with smoldering, deep eyes.

"God damn, it boy," the woman stroking me said, "Here…my husband couldn't do that if he tried!" And a $50 bill was placed gratefully in my pants, at the front.

Later, after they went, I tucked it down inside safely. After the college girls fed me with their strawberry, I was starting to receive lots of little snacks from other tables. They seemed to love it when I ate from their hands and licked and sucked their fingers. I'd have to do this again, it was getting me nice tips.

Victoria had come by a couple times during the night, joking with the customers that they were "spoiling her vampire" and being way too sweet to me. She said I was a bad vampire and needed discipline. Great, thanks Victoria. Now they'd start hitting me.

She told them not to feed me with fruit, but later, when they could come in my cage, they could really feed me. That stoked the fire even more and I had to hand it to Victoria, she knew how to keep these ladies in the mood.

Emmett had done his number and got lots of attention from the women, as always. He almost stole some of my girls from me but then when I hung upside down in my cage, using my legs to hold me around the bars, I got their attention again. I held the bars near the bottom with my hands, pretending like I was tied there, my leather cuffs around my wrists making it look like I was bound.

I purred and growled and hissed as every woman in the place came up and took her turn stroking me through the bars. In between dance numbers, I was having my back scratched by one older woman with gray hair. I was on all fours, as close as I could get to the bars while she gave me perhaps the best back scratching of my life. I like experience and believe it or not, older women were the kindest, most of them. Never insulting, never too rough, always admiring and appreciative, always generous with tips.

"You are a sweetheart, aren't you?" the woman said as I purred, not wanting her to stop. God, I am a sick fuck.

She only scratched my back and was now putting a folded one hundred dollar bill near my mouth, not stuffing it down my pants. What a great lady.

I took the money into my fanged teeth and bowed my head, letting her stroke my hair and she did, with such a soft touch. Slipping the money away securely while she petted me, I looked up finally and smiled at her, sticking my face through the bars a bit, inviting her to kiss me, parting my lips and giving a little lick to the air with my tongue.

She was so cute she blushed and leaned in, giving me a little peck on the lips, then ran off. I liked her and she probably wouldn't come near me again.

I turned and looked around, seeing the girl sitting there alone with her notebook, writing as I crawled over nearer to her, trying to see what the hell she was doing.

She saw me and jumped, giving a little scream as I hissed back at her, playing my role.

"Sorry." She said, turning a little pink. It looked like she wanted to say more but she hesitated.

I always felt challenged when there was a girl I couldn't get the attention of while dancing or working. This one presented a real test. A notebook she had with her! Maybe one of those smart girls who thinks they're above all this debauchery. I would get her to abandon that notebook if it took me all night.

It was close enough. I decided to take my chances and do it.

I reached down and snatched the notebook from under her hand, and yanking it into my cage, getting my back against the other side, as far away from her as possible. She yelled at me and stood up, coming to my cage and reaching inside to try and get me.

"Hey, that's MINE!" she shouted over the music, "Please? I need that! It's for school!"

I ignored this and opened it, making a face as if I didn't understand the strange marks inside, like a dumb vampire animal. In the darkness, I couldn't see much anyway, except the words VAMPIRE MAN in big letters. She is writing about me.

Well if she wants this back, she is going to have to pay dearly.

"Please, vampire boy?" she was talking to me now like I really WAS a dumb animal. Her pretty little friends came back from the ladies' room now, wondering what was going on.

They looked at me with big smiles as I shoved the little notebook down the front of my shorts, getting a loud reaction from the brunette trying to get me. I reached up over my head to the bars there and began doing pull ups, slowly, pretending to ignore her.

"Great, now he's working out, sweat all over my notes!" she complained as I smiled to myself, still doing it.

"And you're complaining, why?" the little black haired one said. The blonde one just stared at me, smiling in a daze.

"He is so YUMMY!" the blonde one was enjoying my workout.

"He took my notebook." The brunette informed, "I need it back."

"Well," the short black haired girl went to her purse, taking out more singles, "Give him a few dollars and I'm sure he'll give it back to you, DUH!"

The little one seemed to think that I would do anything for a few dollars. Wrong. It would take twenties now to get this book back. Now that I saw its worth to the brunette.

The brunette waved the singles at me like I was a hungry dog and these were biscuits. I'm surprised she didn't make kissing sounds to lure me over.

I ignored her, doing some of my stripper pole moves, crawling up the bars upside down, yanking my body back and forth on them, as if thrashing around, trying to get out of my cell, growling in frustration.

"It's not working, Alice." The brunette complained to her friend.

"He wants more, then." Alice pointed out correctly, muttering, "You know these guys do anything for money…you just have to give them the right amount."

Then this Alice girl began making kissing sounds, calling me.

"Here, boy." She called as I hung upside down now, my hands dangling limply as I tilted my head at her.

"Look, boy…140 dollars!" she waved a few bills, and I began to slowly come down, falling to my hands and knees again, taking my sweet time to crawl over to the trio.

"Don't talk to him like a dog, Alice!" the blonde one scolded her, "He's a vampire. Be nice to him."

"I'm just trying to get him to give the book back, spare me." Alice frowned a little at her blonde friend.

Now, sometimes a big tip could be snatched away at the last minute, so I soon got wise to that early on in my employment here. I would give her nothing until I had the money safely tucked away.

I crawled to the bars, sticking my nose out a bit first, hoping she'd put the money in my teeth. She didn't.

"No, no." she talked to me like I was three years old, "Give Bella her book and you can have this."

Want to play it that way, huh? Okay, I have a few tricks of my own.

I moved back a bit and took the notebook out of my shorts, opening it where the writing was and taking the paper, a few pieces of it, gently into my teeth, not ripping yet, just threatening.

"NO, DON'T!" this Bella girl pleaded as I turned my eyes up to hers, waiting with a fiendish smile on my lips.

"Give it to him, Alice!" Bella shouted at her friend.

Victory is mine.

"You **are** bad!" Alice agreed with Victoria's warnings and tossed the money inside my cage.

I smiled back at them, not wanting any hard feelings and nicely put the closed notebook in my teeth, crawling over and giving it to her. Gently, she took it, and even said, "Thank you, vampire," to me.

I gave smile and offered my lips to her.

"Oooh, Bella, he wants to give you a kiss!" Rosalie sounded thrilled for her friend, "It's SO great, you have to!!"

"Oh, no thanks…." She blushed a dark red and I smiled warmly at her now.

I gave a grunt of displeasure and knocked my shoulders to the bars, giving her one more chance. Come on, Bella, let's be friends. No hard feelings.

But she chickened out, rushing over to her nearby table with her book, making lots more notes now.

Victoria came by then and asked the three, "Is he behaving himself, girls?"

They laughed, saying, "Oh yes!" and "He's VERY GOOD!"

Only Alice grumbled, "No, he IS a bad boy, like you said!"

I growled at her. I was playing good vampire tonight. I wished they'd come back next week to see me play BAD vampire, that was lots worse and took lots more energy for me.

"I warned you." Victoria shrugged and turned to me, slamming a bat against the bars.

"HEY!" she yelled at me while I snarled and hissed back at her, away from her side of the cage, "You wanna be whipped?! DO YOU?!"

Oh yea, that's in 30 minutes, isn't it? Damn.

Roar. Take that, Victoria.

"Behave in there or I'll make you CRY!" she threatened, smiling at the women and returning to the main stage to continue the show.

"Nice, you got him in trouble!" Bella scolded the short one as they received their drinks from their male waiter, all shirtless and wearing the white collar with black tuxedo tie, wrist cuffs to match, along with the tight black pants. I was waiting tables later tonight, after my vampire gig was over.

"Oh, that's all part of the show, relax!" Alice informed.

This Alice is well acquainted with these places. I've never seen her here before, though.

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LASH!!

"RRRRRRR!!!!" I growled louder, inside my cage, the door open, and my wrists bound over my head in the bars on the ceiling of my cell.

It was time to whip the vampire and for $30 each, the customers could give me 5 lashes with the leather whip Victoria had purchased with me one day.

This whip was nasty looking, and made a great whipping sound when it made contact, but it didn't hurt much at all. It didn't hurt ME, anyway, and it left no marks.

There was a large line waiting to come in here and let me have it. After the punishment of the vampire, after he was whipped into being a good boy, another line would form so that women could come in the cage and join me, the door closing us in alone so I could dance with them. I was the only one who danced, they grabbed.

The blonde and Bella with the notebook hated watching me being whipped. They didn't take part in that and every time I was struck and screamed, they got very upset. Even Bella shouted, "You are terrible women, hitting something so beautiful!!"

Maybe I'd see her later in the cage. Maybe she'd come to comfort me after my beating.

Alice, again, told her it was all an act and I wasn't being hurt at all. I wished she would shut up already. She was starting to anger me a little bit.

For over an hour, I was whipped into submission. Victoria came into the cage after the line was gone and slammed the door, only her and I in there now.

I gave a couple dry sobs, hanging there limply from my wrists as she checked to see if I would be more obedient now.

In her microphone, Victoria disciplined me.

"Are you going to behave now?!" she shouted, whipping my back again.

LASH! "RRRRRRRRRRR!!!!" I arched my body up tight, raging out with my roar.

"Yes or no?" she asked, striking again.

LASH. "AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" I hollered, clenching my fists and kicking my bare feet.

"Yes?" she grabbed my hair, yanking my head backwards as I closed my eyes.

I nodded, broken. I even panted harder, as if in pain.

"Can I bring humans in here?" she asked me, "Will you promise not to kill them?"

I nodded again.

LASH. LASH.

I screamed out again, in agony.

"Say it." Victoria demanded, "You can talk. He doesn't like to speak to humans, he likes to speak to other vampires through their minds. But I think he's ready to speak now. Say I promise."

Growling, I hesitated. All the customers watched and waited.

Victoria put the microphone to my face.

"I…promise." I used my deepest and smoothest voice, getting a club full of screaming, wild women forming a line outside my cage door.

"A vampire's promise." Victoria said into her microphone, "If you can believe that, and you're brave enough…dare to enter the vampire's cage. Tell me what you want and I will supervise the vampire. But beware…he is very naughty and doesn't always obey."

I think every woman in the club left their table at that point. All I saw behind me were empty tables.

Even Bella's table was empty. I smirked, glad I'd be seeing that group in here tonight. They looked fun.

Vampire music played overhead, dark, spooky Haunted Mansion type music. Humans began to pay to get into my cell. I was released from my cuffs sometimes, other times they paid to have me restrained so they could touch me, kiss my neck and chest, a few of them even bit my nipples. I was used to this and I smiled and laughed, hissed when something particularly daring would happen. I tried to speak as little as possible to stay in character, but no one seemed to mind that. It was my body they wanted, not my conversation.

One woman came in and wanted me tied, hands above me. I just slipped my hands into the little cuffs in the ceiling and pretended I was bound, but could get out anytime. But I never broke the illusion. Anything they did to me was fine. Victoria smiled at me the whole time, loving the way I pleased every single one of them, never showing disgust or reluctance. I wore the big smile, the sexy, aroused eyes for every single one of them.

I thought one woman in her 40's would suffocate me. She kissed my lips while I was "tied" and grabbed my hair, shoving her tongue into my throat, not letting go for a very long time as our tongues wrestled against each other. I tried to kiss her back but her kiss was hard and angry, surely some man had earned her wrath and she was taking it out on me, revenge kissing perhaps.

Victoria almost stepped in to save me but just as I thought I'd pass out, her time was up and she let go of me. I panted heavily, getting oxygen at last as Victoria smiled at me.

"You okay, vampire?" she asked me, really concerned.

"I'm fine." I winked, smiling, "Wow. What a kisser she was."

With a laugh, Victoria went to the next group of girls, taking their money and hearing what they wanted.

It was the three girls! The one with the notebook, Bella, I think I heard them call her. I wondered what they'd like me to do with them.

"No cuffs, vampire." Victoria said to me and I took my hands out of the cuffs, holding the bars at my sides as I took my stance, waiting for them to enter my little domain.

"Just dancing." Victoria opened the cell door and I smiled. They were nice girls.

I began to dance slowly, closing my eyes and moving my hips in little circles, still holding the bars behind me. They were almost afraid to cross inside for a second and I peeked up at them from under my lashes.

"Come in." I said in soft tones to them, "I've been waiting for you three all night."

Girlish giggles danced into my ears as the blonde haired one entered first.

"Come on." She said to her two friends, grabbing the brunette and dragging her in, the short one trailing in last, nervously.

The cage door slammed shut, scaring the crap out of all of them as they screamed, jumping in fright.

"Welcome." I purred with suave joy as I took the blonde's hand into mine, kissing it like a gentleman.

"H-hi." She stuttered, her eyes roaming over my pecks. Before she knew it, I spun her around and had her back against the bars, and I was leaning against her, moving my hips suggestively against hers.

"HOLY SHIT!!" the blonde screamed below my smile as I pushed my chest against hers, wanting my oil smell on her clothes to take home with her.

"WHERE ARE YOU GUYS?!" the blonde was screaming for help from her friends, but they stood behind us, just watching with open mouths.

I ignored her squeals and showed her my vampire teeth, leaning in to find her neck, moving her collar out of the way, and just gently pressing my fake fangs to her flesh, my tongue giving her perfumed skin a wet lick.

"OHHHH MYY GODDDDDD !!!!" she was jelly in my arms now as I grinded into her a little with my leather crotch.

Then I felt a small pair of hands groping my ass behind me. Is that the notebook girl? I spun around, hissing at the little spiky haired one. She smiled back at me, liking my vampire play.

"God, you are CUTE!!" she said to me as I hoisted her up over my shoulder and took her to the other empty side of the cage, giving her butt a couple light smacks and squeezes as she screamed out, laughing.

"No killing!" Victoria smiled, warning me as I worked these girls.

"Perhaps." I growled, putting little Alice against the bars and placing her legs around my waist while I held the bars at her sides, not letting her down.

I buried my face in her blouse as she screamed and held the bars also, for support, helpless to even swat me away. I didn't bite or anything, just stuck my face in for a second, and I gave her a nice little vampire bite, too, as well as some soft kisses along her jaw.

I put her down and she scampered off near the blonde one. I looked at the notebook girl and gave a low dangerous growl, my smile sexual and prowling.

"Oh God….no…" she backed into the corner, trying to get away from me but I soon caught her, looking down at her, pinning her body against me and the bars as I whispered to her, "What do **you **desire, notebook girl?"

She giggled at me and her skin was absolutely purple with her blush.

"Don't be afraid." I purred in my vampire voice, "I won't bite…much."

"Oh, Bella, let him bite you, it's fucking AWESOME!" Rosalie laughed.

I eased my face into the crook of her neck, breathing hotly there, preparing to bite softly with my pretend fangs. All the women loved to be bitten by the vampire.

"Wait, no." she changed her mind, "Can I…just…kiss you?"

She looked ashamed to ask me this, as if she was a dirty girl. I actually find innocence here, refreshing and strange. But I loved it.

"Where would you like it?" I leaned over her, giving her my bedroom eyes, pressing my slick hairless chest into her breasts.

"Um…" she blushed again, "On the lips. My mouth!!" she quickly added that last part, afraid I'd go for her other lips. I chuckled to myself.

"An honor." I purred, opening my mouth and planting the softest, wettest, most passionate kiss I could create, wanting her to get her money's worth. It was not cheap getting into the cage. And all she wanted was a single kiss. I liked this one.

Her two friends were howling behind me as I moved my hips into hers while I delivered my kiss. My hands held her face firmly so she couldn't escape me until I was ready to release her.

Wow, I actually enjoyed that myself. I stared down at her, kissing a baby kiss on her chin, never taking my eyes off hers as I placed several little loving kisses on her innocent little face. Well, innocent and bright crimson red face.

Finally I asked, "How was that?"

She stared up at me, speechless. Her notebook hit the floor with a little slap and I gave her my boyish smile, laughing a little at her reaction. Very innocent. Very cute. She'd make some boy a nice girlfriend. Maybe in a few years I'd be the dancer at her bachlorette party.

"Alright, enough, YOU!" Victoria saw their time was up now and she pushed me back against the bars with her bat. I pretended she was actually holding me there with it, even though she wasn't really.

"Goodnight, ladies." I cooed to them as they slowly filed out. The notebook one was the last to leave, her eyes fixed on me. I smiled at her again and said, "Goodnight, notebook girl."

She blushed again, getting her book from the floor and leaving me to the 200 women who were next in line.

"Cuffs, vampire!" Victoria announced the next couple women as I smiled and slipped my hands into the cuffs overhead, waiting.

BPOV

Oh my God, that was without a doubt the best damn kiss I have ever had in my life. I don't even remember walking from the cage to our table again but I must have because now I'm sitting here, staring at my watery Sex on the Beach.

"Jesus Christ, he is **amazing**!" Rosalie gushed as she took her seat again, still watching the vampire as two women were in there with him now, feeling up his legs and grabbing his ass cheeks, taking a long time to explore every muscle there while his hands were helplessly up over his head.

"Ukkk…" I hated watching what those women were doing to him, "Some women are such pigs, I swear. Look at them! Oh God, she's sucking his nipple and squeezing the other one! Now she's BITING it!"

"I'll bet she paid $500 to get to do that to him." Alice commented, watching with a sleepy smile.

I looked at his face, the vampire guy's, and thought I'd see disgust or humiliation there, but he was enjoying it, eyes closed peacefully, moaning and groaning in pleasure!

Then he smiled and kissed their lips, just like he'd kissed mine! Part of me felt stupid. This was all an act for him. He was that way with every single woman here.

I thought our moment was kind of…special. It was for me, anyway. But how could it mean anything for him? He's being ravaged and kissed like this by every woman here.

I opened my notebook and made these observations in writing when Alice leaned in.

"So, are you going to ask HIM?" Alice smiled at vampire guy.

"He is perfect for it." I answered, "He already baffles ME. He is my favorite of all the guys we've seen here. The best looking, that's for sure. And he looks nice, personality wise. I wish I knew his name so I could do a background check on him."

"Well, after he's done being raped, you can maybe ask that Victoria woman with the microphone something about him. Maybe you can talk to him backstage or something." Rosalie suggested, "It's not like he's a rock star, you CAN speak to him, you know."

"Oh Jesus." I peeked over at him and three girls in their mid-20's, scantily clad, revealing lots of skin and total sluts were surrounding him, roughly rubbing him all over and kissing his back, his chest, one girl had a tight grip on his hair and was savagely attacking his neck. One of them even stuck her face into his crotch!

And still, he seemed to be loving it, loving every single thing they all did to him. He was definitely someone I could do a great paper on. I knew there was more there than just the body and face. I wanted to get into his head and know what made him do this for a living, what was going on in his mind while these women molested him this way. He wore a smile but I knew better. I wanted to get to the bottom of this vampire man.

And in that moment, I chose him to be the subject of my thesis. All I had to do now was…convince him to talk to me.

See next chapter soon!

Love WinndSinger

PS Don't be put off by the way Edward is acting, there are reasons and you'll see in later chapters as Bella unravels the mystery of Edward Cullen.

Hope you like this so far!

Leave me reviews – they are my minutes in the vampire cage with Edward!

PS What would you do to Edward in the cage when it's your turn? Let me know!


	2. Buying a Vampire

2

**Buying a Vampire**

**BPOV**

I had already downed three more Sex on the Beaches before I caught sight of the vampire again. He had been dragged away after his two hours pleasuring the women lined up at his cage and an hour has passed since we spotted him again.

I realized he probably needed and deserved a nice long break after his long night in that tiny cage, but I was losing my nerve the longer I waited for him.

What would I say to him?

Oh, hi, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out with me for a few weeks so I can ask you all about your life and see why you're so damaged. No, not cool. I didn't want to make it sound like I was putting him down or calling him crazy or unbalanced, but I didn't want to come off like some nympho either.

Rosalie was the one to spot him in the dark as he made his way gracefully through the tables, now wearing the waiter costume, the tux collar and matching wrist cuffs, no shirt on, which was just…visually beautiful. And those tight black pants…wow.

I have to stop drooling over this guy, I am here for educational reasons. Yea, right. Part of me had to admit I found this place and this whole world very fascinating and forbidden.

My dad is the chief of police in our hometown of Forks, where he still lives, and he would loathe me being in a place like this, forget inviting this vampire guy to my place and having conversations with him. I could never tell him any of this. But this is New York and on the other side of the world. Daddy would never find out. So I had to shove him out of my mind now and do what I had to do.

"Oh, he's very handsome, too, without the vampire makeup on." Rosalie said with a dreamy voice, and was in love with him already, it was obvious to me.

He was at the bar, laughing with the girl bartender there, taking a look around the place as the music played and three other dancers were coming around, table to table to give dances to women while they shook their money in the air. These other guys were handsome, too, but the vampire one was a bit more special somehow, to me, he had something extra. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I couldn't take my eyes off him.

His face wasn't so pale anymore but it was still very fair in comparison to his copperish-brown hair and dark, full lips. My legs actually started to shake, just watching him walking around the tables, normally, out of the cage now and without his collar on. He moved like smoke, swooping and turning with ease and fluidly, like hot water.

He took the large tray of drinks and said goodbye to the pretty blonde bartender, getting to work and delivering the drinks to a table about 15 feet away from ours.

I wanted to hear him talk again, to see him interact with the women out of the cage, not as a vampire who couldn't speak, but as himself.

I think all three of us were stunned into silence because none of us were talking, we were just staring with our bottom lips on the table, gawking at a god serving drinks to the older women.

"GIRLS!" the vampire man shouted out happily to the "girls" who were at least 50 years old plus at that table. I smiled, seeing he was already making them feel like girls again the instant he found them. They all brightened up, magically, and giggled like teenagers.

"Oh, there he is!!" the voices shouted as he began handing the correct drinks to the women, "The vampire boy !! We LOVE you!! You are SO handsome!!" the voices and compliments overlapped each other.

"AMAZING!!" another one of them yelled to him.

He smiled like a boy, flattered, his white teeth now without fangs but as white as the snow. Flawless.

"Thank you, ladies." He was gracious and looked a bit shy as he placed their drinks down and then one of the women next to him asked something I couldn't make out. All the women screamed as his face laughed and he put the tray down, laying on his back right across their table in the center of all of them.

"OH SHIT!!" all of us three yelled at the same time, our tongues hanging out.

They dived on him as if he were their last meal. I even stood up to see better but he WAS laying on the table, his arms up, one of the women holding his wrists down as ten others at their table were kissing his mouth, taking turns. I walked up to get a closer look, not even realizing I was doing it, and watched as he gave a little squeal of delight, two of the women were taking ice cubes out of their glasses and circling them around his bare nipples, licking and biting them after a good frost set in. I saw hands all over his body, even rubbing up and down his crotch through his tight pants. He just moaned and kissed them all back, letting another woman stand between his open legs, moving her hips against him, both their clothes still on.

I wanted to save him, it looked so terrible how they all groped and abused him in so many ways.

I looked around and noticed their were no bouncers or security guys to help the vampire man. But then, he didn't look like he needed any help. He was smiling and laughing, biting his bottom lip as he peeked down and felt the ice cubes now moving over his six pack abs.

"I love it here at **this** table." He purred, opening his lips as another woman dived upon him, smothering his mouth as he moaned again.

"Yes…yesssss…." He groaned as he made a SSSSSSSSSSSS sound, enduring the ice again as another woman at the table fed him a pineapple wedge from her drink, wetting his bottom lip with it first before placing it into his soft lips. She had teased him with it, pulling it away as he tried to lick it. Then she let him eat it.

"Thank you, beautiful." He purred as he chewed the pineapple, swallowing it quickly, getting a chorus of giggles from the women.

"Oh my Goddddd…" he moaned as a woman pinched his nipples and bit down into each one, "Damn, girls…you are turning me on…" he laughed with them.

He sounded totally into everything they did to him. He looked so delicious there, helplessly giving himself to these women and letting them do as they pleased with him. And he never looked uncomfortable or ill at ease.

I rushed back to our table, more afraid now to approach him. But more intrigued by him as a subject. Yea, hello. I knew why I was intrigued and it had nothing to do with school or psychiatry.

Deep inside me, I wanted him to lay across our table but now it would just seem like copying from someone else.

"Roll him over!" one of the women at the table yelled as they partied and screamed, going "WOOOOO!!!"

I looked again, seeing they actually DID roll him onto his stomach and were kissing and touching his muscled back, scratching him as he laid there willingly, even though they pinned his hands behind him, placing weight on them so he couldn't get away.

"Bad vampire!" another one of them yelled and began spanking his ass with the round tray he was holding. I listened to see if he was struggling or hurting, but he was laughing when I caught his expression, biting his bottom lip occasionally if he received a particularly hard swat on the butt.

Then I heard him saying, "Thank you, may I have another?"

That made them all go wild and then they were really letting him have it. I flinched just watching the whacks they were taking at him, but he never made an unpleasant sound or face.

One lady actually asked him, looking at his face, if they were hurting him and he winked at her, smiling and said, "No, I love it when you hurt me, baby."

"He wasn't born, he was sculpted and brought to life!" Alice shook her head, "How can he let them do all that to him? I'd be so…."

"I know." I breathed, amazed and unable to look away.

Victoria came around to the table after 20 minutes and jokingly said, "Hey, what're you guys doing to my waiter?"

"He's serving us." One lady laughed, the others howling and laughing too.

Victoria yanked the vampire man up by his hair and twisted it, making him wince, closing his eyes tight.

"Laying down on the job, Edward?" she asked, giving the women a little more show before she freed him.

"No, Boss." He breathed.

"Get back to work, bitch." She sneered, letting him go, smiling at the women as she left the drunk, cheering crowd.

"Sorry, girls." He ran a hand through his wild unkempt hair, bending down and picking up his tray as each woman came to him and stuffed large bills into his pants. In 20 minutes, he had bills sticking out of his pants all the way around, from that table alone.

"No, you're too good to me. No…" He was being modest as they lavished him with large tips, "Thank you, girls, this is now my favorite table. I'll be back later when I lose the Boss Lady. Enjoy your drinks!"

He left smiling, beaming. I waited to see if the happy face changed once he was away from them, but it didn't. Maybe he was a robot. I just couldn't read him. And I was good at this, damn it. But he was better.

"Bye, gorgeous!", "Later, sexy!", and "Hurry back, Vampire!" were some assorted goodbyes they called out after him.

They were very satisfied when he left them and one woman grabbed a quick kiss from his lips before he moved quickly back to the bar to get another order.

"Let's order some more drinks." Rosalie said, "That will get him over here and you can talk to him."

"Talk, shit, I want him laying across OUR table!" Alice growled, hungrily.

She raised her fingers up as I lost all nerve instantly.

"I can't ask him about this at the table now!" I hissed, seeing him place some drinks down at another table nearby. He smiled at the women there, giving a nod to one of them, but then saw Rosalie raise her hand.

"Pardon me, ladies." He flashed that perfect grin at them, walking over to us.

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God…" I whimpered, opening my notebook again, so terrified suddenly to look into his eyes.

"Hello girls." He had a seductive voice now, his hands behind him, raising a brow, "What can I do for you?"

It sounded like he was not only asking if we wanted new drinks.

"Hi." Rosalie beamed, not saying anything more, her eyes fixed on him.

He laughed and it was so musical. "Hi," he greeted right back at her, leaning in, saying, "I must tell you, you are three of the most beautiful women here tonight. My eyes keep coming back to you."

Rosalie and Alice giggled like 15 year old girls, and Rosalie took out a twenty dollar bill and handed it right over to him.

He looked confused but still happy. "Is this for a drink…or?"

"It's yours." Rosalie breathed. I had a feeling if he wanted, she'd hand her Visa card over to him next.

"Thank you very much." He grinned, slipping it into his pocket, "How are your drinks? Anyone thirsty?"

Alice spoke up. Rosalie was out, in la la land.

"We really loved your vampire thing, there." Alice motioned to the cage, "I've never seen anything like that before. It was hot!"

"Thanks." He smiled another crooked smile, wow, I loved that smile! So boyishly cute!

It was clear to me now that he was a bit out of practice at talking at length to women, I guessed he wasn't used to doing a lot of talking at this job. I wanted to say, "Can you lay on our table now?" but I would die a second after it escaped my lips.

"Can I have a coke?" I blurted out.

He looked at me and grinned, giving a nod, not taking any notes on this, then he looked to Alice and Rosalie, "And for you, girls?"

"Can I have you?" Rosalie asked, making him laugh. She quickly realized her blunder and looked horrified, correcting it loudly, "I mean, can I have an apple martini?"

Rosalie looked like she wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I blushed for her embarrassment, glad it wasn't me that screwed up.

Alice giggled, ordering an Alabama Slammer.

"That's all?" he asked, patiently waiting.

"Yes." I grinned, then the vampire man leaned down again by Rosalie, whispering something to her.

He walked to the bar and Rosalie's mouth hung open.

Alice and I both pounced on her at once.

"What did he SAY?!" we demanded.

"He said I could have him any time, any place." She almost started jumping up and down in her chair. I never saw Rosalie this way. She was usually so cool around guys on campus. Maybe it was just this man doing this to her.

"I hate you!" Alice was jealous as I took more notes on this effect he was having on my friends.

"Shhh, he's coming back." I shut them up as he glided back over to our table.

"Alright, goddesses," he purred when he got back, giving us all the correct drinks, "Coke, Alabama Slammer, and an apple martini. And I had her put extra sugar around this one for you."

He ran his finger along the edge of her martini glass, covering it with white powder and put it to Rosalie's lips, "Taste." He smirked at her.

Alice and I almost opened our own mouths when Rosalie opened hers, taking his fingertip gingerly into her lips, getting his smile as she tasted his finger, licking the sugar off slowly. She held his hand with both of hers, half closing her eyes.

Damn. I hate Rosalie too. Bitch. God, now I am jealous. I will have to make a note of that, too.

"Is it sweet enough?" his voice dripped with seduction.

"Yes." Her voice squeaked like Elmo's from Sesame Street. Alice and I tried to hold in our guffaws until the Adonis left the table.

"Perfect." His thumb stroked her cheek as he turned to us, asking, "Is there anything else you desire?"

_**God, I love you.**_

"No thank you." I hardly got the words out. Alice couldn't even speak.

"Well, you know where to find me if you change your minds." He smiled, giving a little nod and gliding away, over to some other lucky table.

Rosalie watched him go as if he was her husband leaving for war. She had tears in her eyes !

Alice and I let out our laughter, not trying to hold it in anymore as she looked at us, her eyes wide with wonder.

"What is so funny?" she asked.

"God, he sucked you right in!" I shook my head, secretly totally jealous of the attention he showed her, "Twenty bucks to lick his finger!"

I have always been plain and next to Rosalie, I was almost invisible. It never bothered me much until now. I wish I was the kind of woman he would take notice of like that. I always wished I was sexy and someone all the guys would drool over when I walked into a room. But I just…wasn't.

"He wants you, Rosalie!" Alice bounced, "What are you gonna do?"

"What?" she looked out of it.

"Uh, nothing!" I cut in, looking at Alice, "She's not going to sleep with a male stripper, Alice! He probably does it with 100 women a week!" I tried to keep my voice down.

"Who cares?" Alice asked, "These guys are very clean, they're tested for AIDS like, every week too!"

"Alright, stop." I cut them both off, "This is ridiculous, don't even think about it. Let's just have fun and help me figure out how I'm going to approach this guy about letting me interview him."

"You're too scared to even LOOK at him!" Rosalie informed me.

_**He does scare the shit out of me. Why?**_

"Just because I'm not sucking sugar off his fingers doesn't mean I'm too scared to talk to him!" I spat back, my jealousy showing now.

"It was so sweet and **delicious**." Rosalie smirked at me, rubbing it in, taking a sip of her drink happily, "And I'm not talking about the sugar, either."

We stared at him while he served drinks for a couple more hours. It also astonished me that he had plenty of time to flirt and play with the women and serve everyone drinks in a fast, efficient manor. But I doubted any woman here would ever complain about him being late with their drink.

Alice and Rosalie helped me work up the nerve to go talk to him but something always happened that scared me off. It was 1 am by the time Alice was finally fed up with me and my cowardice.

"That's it…" Alice jumped up, as I watched her go right up to Victoria, the woman who owned the club. I was horrified as they spoke for about ten minutes, not able to hear a thing over the music.

She finally came back over and had a huge grin on her face.

"What the hell did you do?" I yelled.

"I set it all up for you." Alice informed, "Private rooms are in the back. You have 30 minutes alone with him and according to Victoria, you can do whatever you want, but if he wants extra for something kinky, you have to pay him more."

"Oh GOD ALICE!" I spun around, peeking at him as he was standing at a far away table, laughing and talking to the women there. He was certainly the charmer, that's for sure. Everybody loved him. And why wouldn't they? Look at him, JESUS!

I saw Victoria slowly making her way over to him and I almost died, he was going into a private room…with me? For what? What would I say ? Or do?!

"I want to kill you Alice." I was shaking with terror as I glanced over and saw Victoria talking to the vampire man. SHIT!!

My blood was racing and my heart beat was thumping like a rabbit's. Alice and Rosalie were talking and laughing as Alice spun around to me suddenly and almost screamed, "He's coming over here!!"

You bitch, I could crush your head for this! Why was I so scared and upset? Hmmm…this place was full of hidden mysteries…the more I sat here the more I wanted to study all these strange things and feelings.

I looked to see where he was and suddenly a deep velvety voice was behind me.

Like, RIGHT behind me, in my EAR!!

"Bella, would you please follow me?" his voice made my legs convulse uncontrollably. It was a low, sexy voice full of want and desire. And how did he know my name? ALICE !!

I looked at my friends and almost said no to him but they waved me away, and I knew it was now or never. I decided to be brave and go for it. I wanted this guy to be the subject of my paper. The worst he could say was no. God, I'm so scared!! I feel like I have to go to the bathroom suddenly.

I peeked around, seeing his warm, affectionate smile floating above me, but his face so close to mine that I could smell his sweet cherry breath and his arousing cologne.

I cleared my throat as he straightened and made my little voice say, "Yes."

He smiled at me more and pulled my chair out for me, extending his hand to me. I shivered and placed my little plain hand into his large, soft one and he slowly led me away from the tables.

I glanced at my friends one last time and they were on their feet, clapping and leaping up and down for me.

Jerks.

I wished I could say something to him before we got to wherever he was taking me but the music was so loud. All I could see was his porcelain back and the back of his hair that also was perfectly messy in a just out of bed sexy way.

I just know he's going to do something sexual to me as soon as we get to that room. I had to stop him if it began. I just wanted to talk to him, not…DO him.

He is probably sick to his stomach that he has to do anything with ME anyway, I told myself. I forgot my notebook. Oh, screw that. How dumb would you look taking your notebook to a private room with this guy?

The walk to this room seemed to last a year. He was not rushing me or making me feel as if he was squeezing me in and I liked that. This guy was very smooth and skilled at this job, I knew that already. But there is more to him than his job and that's what I wanted to see more of.

His hand was so smooth and firm around mine that I felt my palm starting to sweat and become moist. Oh no, not now.

We had left the tables far behind and went around a curved bend, the noise faded away fast and we were in a red hallway. It was very dimly lit here, but warmer than the club area, relaxing and romantic. Each door had a word on it, scrawled in a flame-like font.

Fantasy was on one door, Lust on another, Passion on the next door. I wondered which one we would end up in. Maybe there's a door that says Dork on it that he's taking me to.

God, this is such a mistake. How can I get out of this now? Charlie would murder me ! And Vampire man!!

Hunger. Ache. Thirst. More names on doors we passed by.

We stopped finally and I realized it was now quiet enough to talk to him but my voice was totally gone. We were at a door that said Awaken on it and I thought I'd fall over right there.

He turned to me and opened the door and it was so dark that I couldn't see his face for a moment.

"Come in, Bella." His voice was so soft it was like a lover's who'd known me for years.

My breath gasped out all of a sudden as a small red light went on. The room was very warm and silent, the faint sound of the club music playing in the distance. There was a gigantic black sofa and chair inside, and a fireplace held a live, crackling fire inside it.

I followed him in, my legs not very functional and I almost fell down, landing on him as we stepped inside. He caught me in his arms and gave a little chuckle, smiling at me so sweetly, as if he really liked me.

"Are you all right, Bella?" his eyes sparkled and I noticed how green they were in the firelight, without the vampire contacts he had in before.

"Yes." I shivered, "I'm clumsy, not drunk, don't worry. Your eyes are **so green**…"

I sounded like a moron.

"I mean…they are very pretty." I added, and that didn't make it any better for me.

He smiled and said, "Well, thank you, Bella. I don't get many compliments on my eyes around here. I appreciate that."

We were in this red room now and the carpeting was so thick and soft my feet bounced off it. He began to take my hand again and I gave it to him. Leading me over to the couch, he moved slow and carefully, sensing my terror.

"Wait!" I froze as he turned to me silently.

"What's your name?" I asked, shaking, "Am I allowed to ask that?"

"Sure." He smiled, "I'm Edward."

"I like that name." I said honestly, it didn't sound like some porn name or anything, and I added, "It suits you."

"I like your name too, Bella." He slowly moved over to me where I was rigidly standing, "You don't have to be afraid of me, you know. I won't hurt you. I will only do what you want me to do."

I breathed out, realizing this was the perfect time to ask him about being the subject of my paper. But my brain was being held hostage by my hormones. They didn't want to talk. They wanted to see what Edward was going to do to us.

His hands were so soft and gentle…it surprised me. They danced up my arms and touched my neck, finally cupping my face and tilting it up a bit as his forehead rested on mine.

"I **know** you like to be kissed…" he whispered, remembering it from the cage, and in seconds his lips touched mine so innocently, briefly that I wanted more. He waited for me to kiss him the second time and I did, drawn into those lips that made me fall in love with him in the cage earlier.

I had no idea what to do with my hands. They hung at my sides like two dead fish. I am so bad at this crap. No wonder I don't have a boyfriend.

His kissing was so perfect he must've studied the art for years! In mere moments, we were tongue kissing so hard I began to feel burns on mine. But who cares?

Finally, after what seemed like hours, he whispered to me, "Bella, you are such a great kisser."

I am? Yea, okay. Alice must've paid big bucks for this.

"Come here." He led me to the chair, removing his wrist cuffs and the tuxedo collar, tossing them to the floor, "Sit down." He offered in a non demanding way.

I sat, grateful to be off my shaky feet. The chair was so big and comfortable that I was almost laying back in it. I guessed this was the whole point because Edward parted my legs gently, getting down on his knees before me and moving in closer, kissing my lips again, his fingers in my hair.

I moaned out loud, unable to keep it in any longer. I wasn't sure how I got here, or what was happening, but I would be damned if I was going to talk about a thesis or a class now.

I am 20 years old and I have never been touched or kissed this way in my life. And I'd certainly never see a man this dazzling again. I am seeing where this goes before I bail out.

"Do you like my kiss, Bella?" he whispered to me, so eager to make me happy. God, he is good at this.

Before I could answer, his mouth was roughly kissing my neck and I let out a groan of ecstasy immediately. I was on fire as he kissed my neck this way, pressing his bare chest into my small breasts.

God I want him….so bad. But this is so wrong.

"Ye-s." I heard myself answer his question, telling the complete truth.

"If I do anything that you don't like…" he kept kissing across my throat, his hands moving down my arms, "Just say stop. And I will. I am yours now. I'll do whatever you say."

God, I love you Alice. I wondered again how much this 30 minutes was costing her. This was probably the equivalent of 10 Christmas gifts.

I let out a few gasps as he slowly began to unbutton my blouse, he peeked up at me, asking permission with his eyes.

What do I say?

I grabbed the cushiony arms of the chair and dug my nails in, almost laying all the way back.

"No, love, relax…" he smiled warmly, taking my claws out of the chair and kissing each hand, he gently moved them so they were laying up over my head, trembling but less tense now.

"That's my girl…" he almost sang the words, "Let me please you, Bella. Don't be afraid."

I closed my eyes and felt his fingers back on the buttons of my shirt, slowly opening more and more of it, placing a soft kiss on the skin each opened button revealed. I was panting like I just ran a race but he didn't embarrass me by saying anything about it.

Finally, my blouse was open and my little white lace bra was staring him in the face. I bit my bottom lip, nervous about what he was thinking.

"Woah, wait !" I jumped up, almost knocking him over as I pushed past him, trying to close up my blouse, buttoning into the wrong holes I'm sure.

Moving around before me, he stayed on the floor, looking up at me in real concern.

"Did I do something wrong, Bella?" he asked quietly.

"No." I cringed, "I did. I'm sorry, Edward. It's not you. You are perfect…and hot…and sweet…I really didn't want this…"

Edward raised a brow at me and I took a good look at his body.

"Okay, I do want this…" I corrected, "But I really wanted to talk to you and Alice set this up. I'm so sorry."

He gave a little smile. "That's alright. We can talk if that's what you prefer. I'm a very good talker."

God, he's awesome. I can't believe I passed up sex with him. I am a fucking idiot.

"Come here." He patted the floor, "I can give you a nice massage while we're talking. How would that be?"

Hmmm. Not a bad idea. I am really tense.

"Ummm…" I held my shirt closed with both hands, "Okay."

"Good." Edward brightened, his finger curling me towards him on the floor.

Mommy.

I got down on the soft floor and he positioned me so I was laying face down to the floor. He straddled his legs over my butt, not putting any of his weight on me, as asked, "Would you care to lose the shirt, Bella?"

"Oh, okay." I unbuttoned it and he slipped it off me. I grabbed it and held it over my bra, shaking. He didn't push me to take the bra off and I was glad about that.

His fingers began to move across my back like a skilled masseuse's. My rigid body was fast starting to relax as he worked my shoulders first. I didn't object when his fingers slowly moved my bra straps off my shoulders.

"So, Bella…what topic would you care to discuss?" Edward began the conversation.

Maybe I could ease into this. Make some small talk first.

"My friends and I…" I began, "are having a really great time here. We all like you the best."

Ugh. I want to die.

"Well, thank you, Bella." He sounded truly appreciative, "I think I like you three best, too."

Yea, I'm sure he tells every woman here that same thing.

"You're quiet," his voice melted like hot honey, "sweet, and gentle. You were the few women tonight who didn't hurt me in the cage."

My heart stung a little from this revelation and I heard myself say, "I saw how they were treating you in there. It must be so hard to endure that. I felt like ripping them out of there and…"

His hands were dazzling my body as he traveled down my arms.

"No girls ever try to rescue me." He stated with no bitterness, only amusement, "It's part of the job, but…you're pretty much on your own around here. We have no security guards. Whatever happens happens."

"I hated it when they were whipping you." I kept talking like a high school girl with a crush.

He chuckled softly. "It didn't hurt."

Leaning in, he placed a deep hot kiss on my back and began to massage down the center of it now.

Wow. My back was radiating some wild heat now from the small kiss he had placed there.

"Thank you…" he whispered, "for caring."

I want one of these for my house.

Okay, I had to get to my question now.

"Uhh, Edward?" I began.

"Uhh, Bella?" he was smiling, I could tell from his voice.

"There is something I wanted to ask you." I cleared my throat.

"Proceed." He purred.

He sounded like he knew I was going to ask for sex. Why wasn't I, again, not asking for it?

"I am in college, NYU, and am studying to be a psychiatrist. A big part of my grade this year comes from me doing a thesis, to study the mind of someone special, complex. In a sense, to become a psychiatrist to my subject."

"That sounds very interesting, Bella." He was working my back with vigor now, loosening the kinks in my muscles so well it was scary.

"Yea." I widened my eyes, feeling his hands melting my resolve away. I wanted him…was so aroused I wanted to leap on him right this second. But I kept talking.

"I thought I had someone picked out but they backed out on me at the last minute." I informed, laying my cheek to the floor, in a daze from what his hands were doing to me. I can still feel his hot kiss on my spine.

"That's too bad." He was really listening…I think.

I spun around suddenly, holding my shirt over my bra, now underneath him.

"Will you be mine?" I blurted out and he smiled at me.

"I mean…" I put a hand on his chest as he began to move down towards me, "I mean, will you be my subject? I think you're very interesting."

His brow creased in confusion. I wondered if he ever got an offer like this one before.

"What are you asking me, exactly?" he asked tenderly, no hint of rudeness.

"I can pay you…" I said up front, remembering Alice's words about strippers only doing things for money, "I have a little inheritance my grandmother left me."

He stood up, extending his hand to me to help me up. Would he throw me out now? I gave him one hand of mine and he gently helped me to my feet.

"Let's sit down." He motioned to the sofa. I hurriedly put my shirt on and held it closed, sitting down as he joined me, very close to me. I guess personal space was not a big deal around here.

"How long would you like me?" he asked, sounding serious about doing this now.

"Uhh…a week or two…I guess." I shrugged.

"Two weeks?" he folded his hands, "Days and nights?"

"Yes." I replied, being greedy, "But when I have a class, you can do what you want."

"I do have some work lined up in the next couple weeks." He looked deep in thought, "I am very popular." He smiled a crooked smile at me.

"Oh, well I would want to go with you to that." I informed, "That would also be part of my paper, seeing your life, getting to know you…"

"Well I guess I can bring you on some of those jobs." He pondered out loud, looking me up and down briefly, "But I'm not sure if my life is for you. It's…strange."

"That's why I want you." I pointed out, "I mean, as my subject."

"How much are you offering?" he asked, still very polite and amiable.

"How much are you asking?" I had no idea what to offer him. Suddenly it seemed 5 million dollars wouldn't be enough.

Was I actually talking about renting this man? God, Charlie would barbeque me.

"Twenty five thousand dollars." He said with a deep voice, his eyes smoldering.

I let a gasp out of my mouth. For 14 days? Am I that disgusting?

"That's like…$1500 a DAY!" I complained.

"$1,785 a day." He corrected, quite the little calculator now, leaning in and moving my sleeve up, placing a wet kiss on my shoulder, taking a careful painless bite, "And I would **earn** my salary, Bella."

Wow. Now $25,000 doesn't sound that unreasonable to me.

And it seems to me he still thinks I am buying him for sex games for 2 weeks. I don't think he even believes my thesis story. Men.

"I have $20,000." I said honestly.

He was suddenly very business-savvy now and it was here I saw the brain behind the body. This was not his first time doing this and that was obvious.

"Do you have a dorm room or apartment?" he asked, wanting the details of this job.

"Apartment." I responded, "I live alone."

"One bed?"

"Yes." I began to say something else but he smiled and said, "Shhh, it's no problem, I'm just asking."

I shut up and answered more of his questions.

Finally, he said, "I will give you my answer within the hour. Wait at your table and I'll come to you. If I accept, I get a cashier's check for the $20,000 up front. If I fail to perform my duties, you are free to cancel the check. If you cancel the check after I've completed my 2 weeks, you will be opening a very nasty can of worms. I don't like to sound this way, Bella, I'm sure you are honest but I have to say that before we go any further. I have been burned before and have to protect myself. You understand?"

He scared me for a second there but now his eyes were back to being kind and friendly.

"Yes I do." I said with a little voice, "I wouldn't cancel the check, Edward."

He leaned in and kissed my lips again, no tongues but still erotic and long. His mouth was softer than melted butter and he tasted like cherries. How does he DO that?

"I like your mouth." He growled, taking another kiss to my neck.

"Yours isn't bad, either." I said sarcastically, touching his large shoulder with a trembling hand. It felt like warm marble.

"Let me take you back to your friends." He kissed my neck again, then stood slowly and picked up his costume pieces from the floor. He took my hand into his again and lead me out of the room, silently walking me back to the noise of the club area. I was in a daze.

I had actually asked this man to belong to me for 2 weeks and he was going to consider it now! Oh God I'm a lawbreaker! And a JOHN! I'm going to hell for this. Worse, I'll be a guest on Jerry Springer!

Edward led me to my table and Alice and Rosalie stared at us, smiling. He gave my hand a long kiss and whispered, "Thank you, Bella, for a wonderful time."

He pushed my chair in for me and kissed the top of my head, and then he was gone, faded into the darkness.

They dived on me, in a frenzy to get information.

"Shut up! Shut up!" I gritted, "Nothing happened so don't ask."

"Nothing?" Alice asked in disbelief, "Oh, come on!"

"He gave me a massage." I informed.

"Did you talk to him about the thesis thing?" Rosalie asked, eating a cherry from her drink.

"Yea." I stated, wanting a new drink but too scared Edward would be the waiter to bring it to me, "He's…thinking about it. He said he'll let me know within the hour."

"Go, girl!" Alice punched my arm, almost knocking me over.

I didn't tell my friends that I offered to pay him all that money, though. If he said yes, I'd tell them tomorrow, in a nice, quiet setting where they could yell at me properly.

"He won't do it." Rosalie already decided for herself. But then she didn't know about the salary I offered him.

)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) EPOV

I walked up to Victoria's office and knocked on the door.

"Come in." she called.

I leaned in, giving her my smile. "Got a minute, Victoria?"

"Always, for you, sweetie." She sparked when she saw me and pushed away from her computer, leaning back in her chair at her desk as I walked in, closing the door behind me.

"I am thinking about doing a job." I began as usual whenever I was offered a good assignment, "Two weeks, being a personal toy, one girl."

She smiled, not surprised and began to type in her computer.

"Name?" she asked.

"Bella Swan." I informed, waiting for her to do the background check as she always did.

Victoria looked at her screen, reading as I smirked at her.

"College student, New York University." She read more, "Boring. One parking ticket 1 year ago, paid in full. Her father is chief of police in Forks, Washington. You okay with that?"

"That doesn't bother me." I shrugged, "There will be no proof of anything. He can't get me."

"Well, besides that…there's nothing else here…nothing!" Victoria informed, looking disappointed.

"That's good, isn't it?" I grinned, not really surprised that Bella was okay.

"I guess." Victoria shrugged, leaning back in her chair again, "Does that mean you can't be here on your nights?"

"I can be here some nights." I informed, "Can I let you know the morning of each day if I'll be in?"

"Sure," she agreed, always willing to be flexible with me.

"Get the money first," she reminded me, "Don't forget that one time."

"I know, I told her already." I didn't want to be reminded of my stupid, naïve days.

"Good." Victoria tilted her head, looking me up and down, "You were so good tonight. Every single woman here told me how happy you made them."

"Thanks, Victoria." I put my hands behind my back, smiling at her.

"Come here." She purred.

I smiled a little more, walking over to her chair and getting down on my knees as her legs opened, her little mini dress not covering much of her.

I removed my tuxedo collar and cuffs and tossed them to the floor.

I kissed her immediately, knowing what she wanted. Come here always meant come fuck me. It had been a little over a week since I was last with her.

"Ohhh Edward…" she moaned, loving my rough kisses as I moved her little dress up, revealing her naked and totally shaved pussy. Moving the dress up more, I found the very white Irish breasts, not large but small and pert. I had the whole dress off her now and I placed it on the desk top. Once, I threw her dress and she hurt me for that. I'll never do that again.

She was naked now in her leather chair as I groaned, working on her neck, holding her arms down, as she liked it, hard and forceful. I began licking and biting her breasts, making little screams come out of her.

I grabbed her out of the chair and threw her back to her desk, kneeling down between her, yanking her legs apart and diving my mouth into her hairless, soft flesh, biting and lapping, licking..sucking.

Victoria's sounds always drove me to go rougher. She made animal sounds, grunts, growls, heavy savage panting.

After I had pleased her a few times with my tongue, and she was good and happy, I flipped her roughly onto her stomach and stood up, unbuttoning my pants and letting them drop to my knees, my throbbing erection piercing into her hot, wet body.

She screamed again and again as I pounded into her, my hands gripping her legs, using them to drive her back and forth, harder into my hips as I slammed harder into her tight little cunt. Her small little ass slapped against my pelvis, making a nice sound as I savagely rammed into her over and over again. This is how she liked it.

Her hands were gripping the edge of her desk that laid before her, her long mane of hair hiding her face as she rode me.

I was close to coming and groaned, "Victoria…"

"I know, I'm coming EDWARD!!" she cried out, screeching and clawing the desk, "YES!! YES!! FUCK YES!!"

She reached orgasm again right before I did and I let out a loud, hard growl as I held her tightly against me now, spewing my juices into her as I shouted out in satisfaction.

After a couple minutes, we began to catch our breath and I leaned down, kissing her white little ass cheeks, taking a little bite as she yelped out, giggling. I withdrew from her, grabbing a couple of warm towels from the cabinet to the right of the desk. She always had these ready and close by. I began to clean up and placed a towel over her butt, watching her slowly start to move and turn until she was sitting naked on her desk, looking at me.

I zipped up and buttoned my pants, knowing I'd take a shower downstairs in the dressing room before I left, as always.

I smiled at her and came in for more kisses, holding her hair tightly in my hands.

"You're soooo good, Edward." She complimented, laying her head on my shoulder as I stroked her hair.

"Not as good as Emmett, I'm sure." I teased.

"Oh God, he is being such a baby lately, isn't he?" Victoria laughed with me a little bit.

"He is." I smirked, "But you should stroke him a little while I'm gone. Whores need reassurance, too, you know, from time to time. Let him know he's still your favorite."

"What if he's not?" Victoria smiled at me suggestively, not hurrying to get dressed.

I looked at her, my brow furrowed in confusion.

"I think you're becoming my new favorite, Edward." She informed without shame or fear of my reaction.

I grinned, leaning towards her, purring, "Does a raise come with that honor?"

And my fingers pinched at her little nipples.

"You little whore…" she smiled affectionately, "Go back to work."

"Yes, Boss Lady." I gave her a small kiss goodbye for now, putting my collar and cuffs back on and going back downstairs to the nice invisibility of the dark club.

I served more drinks and ignored Bella's table on purpose, letting her stew for awhile. The women in the club were all very drunk and rough now and I felt scratches on my back, they felt wet.

A couple of women threw me against a wall and made me spill my tray of drinks. One large woman had me pinned to the wall, her arm against the back of my neck, not letting me go as she and her friend proceeded to shove their hands down my pants, thrilled to feel nothing but skin there.

I felt the woman's who was holding me to the wall and her other hand grabbed my wrist, twisting it around behind my back, at an awkward angle. I felt if I moved too much, it would surely snap.

"May I turn around?" I tried to sound sensual, hoping to free my cheekbone from the hard cement of the wall.

"NO!" the woman shouted at me as her friend laughed hard. I tried to move back from the wall but the woman was strong and shoved me into it violently.

I gave a little growl, not wanting to displease them but they were hurting me. My face was throbbing where she smashed it into the concrete and it was still grinding against the wall now.

"Do it, Bette." The large woman holding me told the other one.

The other woman laughed, quickly reaching into my waist, unbuttoning my pants and unzipping them.

"Girls…behave…no need to be rough…" I cooed with my voice, although my mind was getting pissed off.

"Shut up, slut!" the woman grabbed my hair from the back and hit my cheek into the wall again.

_**DAMN, that's my FACE BITCH!**_

I closed my eyes and waited for them to get done with me so I could go. This sometimes happened at the end of the night. It was an unfortunate part of the job that we had no security here.

"Ooooh, no underwear…" they sounded pleased as they yanked my pants down to my knees. I let out a breath as they groped me with callous hands. The woman not holding me to the wall was jerking my penis hard while I growled without words.

Looking around, I tried to find Emmett or Jasper…or anyone. But I was in a dark area and could see no one. Someone was dancing onstage and the women were all flocked over there, screaming and dancing.

"Please…ladies…" I tried to keep my professional voice as my dick involuntarily hardened in her hand. I winced, hating how easy my penis was. Anything, it seemed, would give me an erection. Even being raped.

Then I felt teeth biting into my ass and HARD!!

I broke character and screamed out, feeling a hand try to cover my mouth, digging fingers into my face as I tried to struggle out of it, my head jerking from side to side, not getting away from the large hand over my shouting lips.

"Hold him!" the other woman said to the large one holding me and I felt a mouth sucking on my dick.

Fuck! I work out every day, how can I not fight this woman OFF ME?! She must've escaped from prison or something but she was lots stronger than ME!

Please don't bite, please don't bite….I prayed.

"HEY!!" I heard a girl's voice behind us, "LET HIM GO!!"

A scuffle started behind me that I couldn't see and in seconds I was free. I yanked my pants up and zipped them, turning to see the three college girls fighting with the two women who were harassing me. Bella was on the seven foot woman's back, pounding her with her little fists, pulling her hair.

I couldn't believe I felt a smile crawling across my lips. Rosalie and Alice were fighting off the other one. I threw myself into the mix, trying to help Bella with the incredibly tall and muscular woman she was wrestling with.

"GIRLS, GIRLS!!" I tried to calm them all down, not wanting them to get hurt for my sake, "Come on, break it up! Let's be good girls now!"

Emmett found us then and rushed over, separating the women.

"Go to your tables, go!" he told all of them. Bella gave me a look of concern as she walked back to her table. I smiled at her group and followed Emmett to the dressing rooms.

"Attacked again?" Emmett asked as we crossed the red line out of the club area.

"Yep." I touched my fingers to my cheekbone, feeling blood, just a little.

I hurried and checked out my face in the mirror, it wasn't as bad as it felt. A little pink bump, a small scratch next to it. It should take one day for that to heal.

I yanked down my pants, looking at my ass in the mirror, a nice red bite mark staring back at me, a little blood on it.

Emmett was laughing as I went into my little first aid kit in my drawer and started putting ointment on it.

"Damn it." I gave a little hiss as the burning medicine soaked into it.

"Poor little thing." Emmett giggled at me.

"I'm not little, they were just HUGE!" I defended, "The one holding onto me looked like Andre the Giant!"

After a few minutes, Jasper came in and asked me, "Do you want to see some girl named Bella? She's outside, asking for you."

"Yea, let her in." I stuck a large band aid over my bite mark and pulled my pants up, zipping and buttoning.

A minute later, Bella was coming in, holding her notebook. I thought she'd be nervous to come in here but she looked more concerned about me.

"Are you alright?" she trembled a little, her eyes glistening, "I'm sorry I didn't see you sooner, I would've…"

"It's alright, Bella, I'm fine." I shrugged, "Things get a little scary at the end of the night. They just got a little too drunk and carried away. It happens."

"Yea, four times a week, to this one!" Emmett added in his two cents now as I shot him a stern gaze.

Smiling back at Bella, I put her mind at ease.

"It's all okay, Bella." I assured her, "I'm a big boy. I'm used to it."

"Nothing bothers you." She stated, "How do you do that?"

"Getting back to our business." I took the notebook out of her hand, opening it to a blank page, writing, "I would love to work with you, Bella. This is who you're to make the cashier's check out to and I'm giving you a couple pieces of my personal information so you can do a background check on me, for your own safety, of course. Always check any person you don't know, Bella. It's just smart and safer if you ever do this again in the future."

I wrote E.C. Construction on her pad, that's who the check would be made out to. Victoria had a business account set up for me that I could put my money into and make it clean, as if I were a contractor fixing roofs for a living. She was more than just a boss here in the club, she was like my unofficial business manager. She taught me things, she guided me, she kept me safe and out of jail.

I handed her back the pad and looked up at her little strange smile.

"I told Victoria I could do a few nights here and there in the next two weeks and she's alright with that. You could join me here, no charge, if you like on those nights."

"That's great," she replied, "It will help me to see you more, on the job, and in private, both."

Emmett sat there but minded his business, not uttering a word now. I was glad.

"And if you want to write your address down for me…" I handed her my pen.

"Oh God, duh." Bella blushed, scolding herself for not thinking to give me that information. I smiled at her as she scribbled on another piece of paper, then tore it out and handed it to me.

She included her phone number, too along with the address. I had a pretty good idea that she had never done anything like this before and was on new ground here, but novices didn't bother me. I preferred them to the hardened, jaded ones who acted like they knew everything.

"Great." I smiled at her as I folded her paper, "When do you want me?"

She turned purple in the cheeks again. I smiled, loving that giveaway blush that told me I was doing my job right.

"Ummm…." She stumbled verbally, "Whenever you're free…"

_**Free. I am never free.**_

"This is Saturday, " I said to myself aloud, "Sunday is a day of rest, so I'll give you tomorrow off, how about Monday?"

She looked surprised I was planning on coming so fast but said, "Cool!"

"Cool." I repeated, grinning at her innocence, "I could come make you breakfast if that's okay. Like…nine?"

Her face blushed again. I had to chuckle at her, she was very cute. This would be a fun and easy job.

"That sounds amazing." She almost whispered, "I hate to cook, so…and I have no classes until like 1 o'clock that day. Then I get home around…4, so you'd have like 3 hours all to yourself."

I could clean her place while she was gone…then maybe make her a nice dinner. This wasn't really part of what she hired me to do but I liked to do anything I could to please my owner while she had me.

She was paying me a lot of money and I always earned my pay, doing whatever I could to please her.

I discovered women liked having me clean their house and cook for them, in addition to the sex. I would hate to be like some of my friends and just lay around while she was in school. That is just lazy and dishonest. Bella owns me for two weeks and she would get two weeks of me, even if she wasn't here.

Yes, I did ruin women for any other normal man after I had a little stay at their place. So often I'd get calls again to come back for another little job. I had a bunch of regulars and that made me feel better than constantly going with strangers all the time. I knew Bella only had this money and it was a special inheritance. I probably wouldn't hear from her again after this job so I intended to be very good to her.

She looked like the smart, nose in a book type girl who never got to have much fun. I planned to fix that in these next two weeks.

"Okay." I agreed, smiling at her, biting my bottom lip curiously as I looked into her eyes.

She took a breath, fanning herself with her notebook.

"God, it's hot in here." She panted lightly.

"Yes." I said, letting my eyes sink into hers without another word.

She looked nervous and tired.

"Well, we're gonna get going now." Bella took a step or two away from me.

"Hey where'd you think you're going?" I stood up and moved into her, towering over her as my hands touched the walls on each side of her, blocking her from getting away from me.

She looked scared, unable to get any words out. It was fun playing with her.

"No kiss for your boy?" I asked sadly, nose to nose with her.

"Oh…okay…" she shivered as I leaned in, my finger cupping under her chin, tilting her face up to me, waiting breathlessly as I took her in for a nice deep kiss.

I didn't use my tongue but opened and closed my mouth with hers over and over…my eyes closing softly as I tasted sex on the beach, the perfect squeaks and sounds of our wet lips colliding in the air.

Her voice moaned and she dropped her notebook, flinging her thin arms around my body, her little fingernails lightly moving up and down my back, warming me nicely.

She likes me.

I ended the kiss a moment or two later, my nose nuzzling hers as I smiled my big happy smile at her.

"Miss me." I gave her a small order as she smiled like a little girl up at me.

"I will," she breathed.

"I will see you Monday, Bella." I took her hands and placed a kiss on each one. I bent over and picked up her notebook, handing it to her.

"Call me if you see something on my background check you don't like, but I assure you, I'm a good boy. There's nothing there. But do it anyway. Always. Promise?"

"Yes, Edward." She grinned at me.

"Good girl." I fixed her hair a little, "Let me take you to your table. Hopefully that giant has calmed down out there."

I walked her out of the dressing rooms and to the club area, where her cute little friends were waiting for her.

"Hi girls." I greeted them.

"Oh God, are you okay?" Alice asked, Rosalie also looking worried about me.

"Oh yea, I forgot about it already." I waved my hand, "It happens. Please, don't worry about me."

"Did you all have a good time tonight?" I asked them, still holding Bella's hand as I saw her friends take notice in silence, shooting Bella looks.

"Oh YEA!" Rosalie answered, laughing, "We love it here! We've never done anything like this before, but we are going to become regulars here now!"

I chuckled. "Good, we like young beautiful girls hanging around. Especially tough ones that can rescue me when I'm in a jam."

"We'll be your bodyguards." Alice laughed, making fists, "We've got your back, vampire !"

"His name's Edward." Bella interjected.

"Edward!" a girl called from the bar, "I need you in a sec!"

"We're hogging you, we should go." Bella let go of my hand.

"Thanks to all of you again, for your help." I said, a little embarrassed but meaning this.

"No problem." Rosalie smiled.

"Goodnight, ladies." I nodded to them, then to Bella, "See you soon, love."

I kissed her cheek quickly and excused myself, going to the bar to get moving on my bartending duties.

I peeked at them as they left the club, looking forward to my upcoming two weeks with an innocent college girl, a brain, too. I knew all that stuff about her thesis and school was just an excuse she was using to make me feel more comfortable with her offer. It was kind of her to think of me but I am bought and sold all the time. It didn't shock me anymore.

I got my drinks and balanced the tray on my palm, moving precisely around the partying women to get to my table, watching out this time for dark corners and large women.

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See next chapter!

Love WinndSinger


	3. Rule Number One

3

BPOV

Sunday I spent super cleaning my apartment. Even now, on Sunday night, I wasn't sure it was nice enough here for him. With all the money he made, I was sure his place was some MTV mansion. And I only had the one king sized bed for us to share. I wish I had another bedroom for him, or at least a sofa bed that he could use.

But he didn't seem to mind the one bed when I told him about it. Part of me really thrilled at the idea of having him sleep next to me, but the idea that he would see me in the morning made my body tense and sweat in fright. I'm sure he looks perfect and sexy in the morning…and my eyes pictured that for a few minutes.

He told me to miss him. And I am. Damn, something is severely wrong with me. I didn't even know this guy, really.

But those kisses. Damn.

I had the check all ready for him, made out to E.C. Construction, in an envelope on my kitchen counter, the single word EDWARD written upon it. I apologized again to my dead Grandma, hoping she would understand. I even fantasized that my Grandma was a cool woman, and if there was anything worth buying, this was it, and she would approve.

My dad had already called me this morning with the results of my background check. Edward Cullen is a clean, law abiding citizen. On paper, anyway. I told Charlie Rosalie was dating him and that I just wanted to make sure he was alright.

I have too much junk food. I was looking in my cabinets now, seeing if I had the right food in the place for my guest. He was probably Mr. Healthfood, with that body of his. Oh, screw it, we could always go food shopping tomorrow night if he wanted anything.

God, I am nervous. I had bought five new notebooks to start taking notes and I had my tape recorder set up with 6 new tapes to record our interviews. I hoped that I could do a good job asking him questions that wouldn't insult him but led him to open up to me.

I had already seen how good he is at covering up his true emotions, even when he was being attacked in that dark corner at Fire. God, that was purely awful.

It felt really good to go in charging after those women, and having my girls right behind me, helping me out was great, too. I didn't even think about it…I just saw what they were doing to him and I lost it. I was running towards them before I knew it was happening. I wanted to save him.

That's probably my whole mental reason for paying all this money to have him here…I want to save him. Does he want saving?

But what bothered all of us girls was the way Edward took the attack. So calm, so "no big deal"…I didn't believe it for a second. He was hiding. Covering things up, putting on a happy face. I wanted that happy mask off his face. I want to see the real Edward.

I took a nice shower after dinner and for some unknown reason, I shaved my legs, the entire length of each one, and any unsightly hair anywhere else on my body. Was I expecting him to see my body? No. Yes. I don't know.

I was so confused and torn that my head began to pound. I went to bed at 9 o'clock that night, too exhausted mentally to worry about another thing anymore.

The next morning I had my alarm set for 7am, but I was awake at 5:30 am. I couldn't sleep. I felt like it was Christmas morning and I was 3 years old waiting for Santa to arrive.

It's May so the weather is warm and sunny and sunlight fills every room here. Of course, there are only four rooms. My bedroom, the bathroom, the kitchen, and the living room. The rooms were pretty good sizes but this was a cozy little place. If Edward gets mad at me in the next two weeks, he wasn't going to lose me in here. He'd most likely have to go out for awhile to cool off.

I was all dressed and looking alright by 6:24am. So now I had to wait around until 9am for Edward to arrive. I adjusted everything three times, cleaned a little more, and looked out my window several times, watching strangers walk past. Time seemed to crawl by.

I almost fell asleep again when at 9:34am, a knock playfully tapped on the door.

I hate late people.

I found myself rushing to the door when I really shouldn't have answered it at all. I wondered if I could knock some money off his twenty grand paycheck if he was going to be late like this all the time.

I didn't know what to expect when I opened the door but , there he was, dressed very normally, in a white t-shirt and light blue jeans, taking off his black sunglasses as I pulled the door ajar, revealing those fierce bright green eyes. He had one single duffle bag hanging from his shoulder and at seeing me, his smile grew larger.

I couldn't be mad at him with a smile so bright. Jesus, I am too easy.

"Bella." He waited there, "I didn't hear from you so I'm guessing…hoping…everything is okay. You did the check on me, right?"

"Yes." I waited for him to enter, "Everything is fine. Come on in, Edward."

"Thank you." He said, just as polite as he was in the club the other night.

"Wow…this is nice." He entered, respectfully, lying to me.

"Well, it's clean and warm." I shrugged, "And no bugs. In New York, that's a palace."

He laughed softly, "Sure is."

I gave him the small tour and he followed me five steps to the bathroom, then ten steps back to see the bedroom, and the tour was over.

"I know it's small." I looked down, making a face, "If you want to change your mind…we don't have to do this."

"Stop." Edward placed his bag down carefully and was coming over to me, he moved his hands over my hair and held my face again. He leaned in, giving me a tender, moist kiss and said in a low voice, "I like it here, Bella."

Damn it, he smells good. And his mouth…how does he make it that soft all the time? His breath was cool and like spearmint…mmmmm.

"You do?" I asked, not sure why.

"Yes." He looked down into my eyes, making me his fool instantly, "This is where **you** are."

God, he is good at delivering a line. Before I knew it, he was kissing me again, and my back was leaning against the wall of the living room.

My stomach made a gurgling sound and his eyes opened, latching onto my wide, embarrassed ones. His kissing mouth smiled and broke its kiss from mine.

"Are you hungry?" he purred, going to his bag, taking out a couple of plastic food store bags, moving into the kitchen, "I've got eggs, cheese, onions, some bacon…do you like omelets?"

He could cook me rocks for breakfast and I would eat them, loving it.

He looked at me with such an energetic look in his eyes. Is he acting again now? I can't even tell. He just went in one second from Don Juan to Julia Childs.

"Yea, I love eggs." I informed, watching him, amazed by him again. He would make a very complex study, indeed. I feel like a mad scientist.

It's like…whatever he thinks I want…he becomes that instantly.

"Good." He smiled, "I will make you the best omelet you've ever had, Omelet de Eduardo." He laughed at his fake little Spanish accent as he completed that sentence.

"Wow, you cook too." I came up and sat on the little bar stool at the kitchen counter, watching him getting acquainted with my kitchen. He easily found a pan and a bowl and took out a spatula, preparing everything.

"I do **everything**." He raised a brow at me suggestively, being a busy little bee while I smiled at him.

Wow.

"Oh is that right?" I teased him back, grinning, hoping that would ease the heat I was already feeling in the pit of my gut, "So, what makes your Omelet de Eduardo so special?"

He bit his bottom lip, "Me." He said and he chuckled as I smirked back at him, liking his style and confidence. I wish I had either of those.

I didn't know what that meant exactly but as I looked down at my TV guide, pretending I wasn't really interested in what he was doing, I saw him doing something with his shirt.

Looking up fast, I saw he removed his t-shirt and made it into a little apron, tucking the short sleeves into his jeans, his smooth oil-free chest looking much softer now, easier to see in the sunlight. I was going to tell him to put his shirt back on, but it **was** getting hotter in here…and my eyes weren't done studying every line and ripple they could drink in.

He turned on the flame under the pan and tossed a slab of butter to the hot surface, his hands mixing up the eggs in the bowl. Peeking up at me from under his long eyelashes, he smirked.

"Breathe, Bella." He teased, seeing right through my cool, nonchalant act.

"I **am** breathing." I said a little defensively as he turned his back to me, cooking the eggs now. I felt my face get red hot. No, don't blush, don't blush…

"Oh." I saw his envelope sitting there right in front of me, "This is for you."

I handed it to him, knowing this moment was the one that now defined me as someone who was paying money to a male prostitute. I half expected NBC's 'To catch a predator' film crews to come flying in here now.

Letting the eggs sit in the pan to harden a little, Edward turned to me, taking the envelope with a slow hand, looking into my face, then, reluctantly, he opened it and peeked inside for two seconds.

"Thank you, Bella." He said simply, folding it in half and shoving it into his back pocket, "You won't be sorry, I promise."

He went back to cooking and I stared at his back, trying to find something cool to say back to him. All that came out, though, was truth.

"I feel really…weird…" I admitted, "I've never paid anyone to live with me before. It's nothing personal. I do…like you. It's just strange for me. Doing this."

"No big deal." He smiled at me, assuring me, "Forget you paid me. Or don't. Whatever makes you feel good, comfortable around me. People buy things every day, in stores, things they need. How is this any different? Don't worry, Bella. I know how to make you relax. It will be great, trust me."

Somehow I already was trusting him, a little.

Soon he was putting the eggs on two plates now and set one down in front of me, along with buttered toast and bacon. Pouring me a nice glass of milk, he came up to the other stool beside me.

"May I?" he asked.

"Sure." I pulled the chair out a little for him, "And, you don't have to be so formal. This is your place now, too, for the next 2 weeks. I want you to make yourself at home. Alright, Edward?"

"Alright. Thanks." He smiled at me warmly, taking a bite of his bacon.

I began to eat and it was actually very good. Nice and cheesy with a little taste of onion.

And then he began talking to me.

"So…" he ate as he asked me, "What are the rules?"

"Rules?" I asked, putting down my glass of milk.

"Yes." He licked his lips, finishing off his bacon before he even touched the eggs.

"I didn't really…make any rules." I fumbled, trying to think of some now, coming up blank, "Like I said, I'm new at this stuff. What kind of rules do you usually have?"

"Everyone is different." He shrugged, "Like, one woman likes me kneeling in front of the door naked every night as she comes home from work. Stuff like that."

God, how humiliating. Again, my stomach twisted in knots with pity for what this man puts himself through.

"No." I looked at him with a frown, then made my face lose the grimace, "I won't have any thing like that. I'm not…into that stuff."

He chuckled at me as my cheeks flushed hotly, imagining him kneeling naked at my door when I came home from school. What if Rosalie or Alice were with me?

Yea, I know, they'd never stop thanking me.

"Come on, Bella, it's nothing to be ashamed of. Surely you have **some **fantasies." Edward was looking at me curiously as he ate with his fork now, taking big bites of the eggs. He doesn't nibble his food, I noticed, he devours it.

"Yea, becoming a psychiatrist." I informed flatly, "And after we eat, we can get to work, okay?"

"Don't call it work, Bella, let's just have fun and enjoy each other." He said with a breezy air to his voice.

"Well, we can have fun at times but it won't all be enjoyable." I pointed out, almost finished eating, "There will be very hard questions to answer eventually and I want you to know that I am here for you. I will never judge you or put you down, I promise you that. I just want you to be as open and honest as you can be. 2 weeks is not that long to really get to know you, but if you are willing to cooperate and be truthful, I think we can make some progress before our time together is up."

"Oh wait…" something was dawning on him now, "I think I understand. You want me to be the patient and you're the psychiatrist. Is that right?"

"Yea." I looked at him like he just grew two heads, "I thought that was clear. I told you about this. In that Awaken room, remember?"

His smile looked amused. "So I can be the poor, sex addicted patient…and you can try to cure me of my wicked ways…I like this game!"

He leaned in, trying to kiss my earlobe, almost standing up now, ready to start playing.

"No, Edward." I almost whined, "I am not role playing. I am in college studying to become a psychiatrist. For REAL. I want you to be my subject. I will be getting to know about you, your life, your past…we discussed this the other night."

Do men ever listen to us? Even half naked hot men?

"That was for real?" he asked, frowning, "I thought you were too scared to ask me to be your toy and you were being classy about asking me."

"Toy?" I felt hotter now. I knew it. He thinks he's here to service me for two weeks. And I'm arguing with him because??

"Yea." He shrugged, looking over at my face closely again, "Don't you want to play with me, Bella?"

I lost all speech at this point. Even my dead Grandma is saying "YES!" somewhere in the cosmos right now I'm sure.

My mouth hung open as he stood and leaned in again, kissing his mouth into my neck. I think he's figured out my weak spot. Damn it, this feels soooo good. Heat. Wet. Tongue. Lick. Teeth. Gently closing. Hot breath.

"I'll be a good little toy, Bella…" he purred affectionately, licking my jugular vein.

Uhhhh…I felt my eyes rolling back into my head but I actually found the strength to squirm away from him a little, off my stool and in the kitchen now, putting the counter between us.

Edward's eyes looked a little sad as I said, "Please, Edward? This is very important to me, it's a big part of my grade. Please…do this for me."

He looked around now, seeing the sofa and the coffee table with the tape recorder on it, and the blank tapes, and my notebooks, pens on top of them.

I almost saw a bit of fear there in his face as he realized I wasn't kidding about this.

For the first time I was not seeing happy, carefree, dance club Edward. This is good…a little peek at the man behind the mask.

"You're saying I'm sick." He stated, not asking me, his hurt eyes looking back at mine.

"No!" I tried to take a step or two towards him, "Never!"

"And you want to analyze me like some germ under a microscope, is that it?" he asked further, yanking his shirt out of his jeans, looking embarrassed suddenly, and putting the shirt back on.

Crap.

"No, Edward!" I made myself grab his bare arms into my hands as I looked up at his face, "I just need to find an interesting person to interview for awhile and then I type a report of what I've discovered. That's all."

He took a hard breath, not moving away from me. "I don't like this, Bella." He muttered quietly.

"But you were willing to---" I began, stopping myself, seeing his eyes spark in understanding.

"But I was willing to be your toy for 14 days?" he finished for me, "Yes. That's what I do, what I am good at. You didn't find me in a library, Bella, you know what I am."

"Please…you're taking me wrong…" I almost pleaded to him, hating the look in his face. Already I was hurting my patient. I had to soothe him and put him at ease.

"I understand that you have a problem with trust." I began, "But—"

"How would you know that about me?" Edward frowned at me now, "You know **nothing** about me. You have no idea what my problems are."

I was fucking this up so bad and we haven't even started yet. Come on, Bella, fix this now.

"I would like to, Edward." I said with a tender voice, "Please…give me a chance. Please help me. I need you. I think this is so much easier than…all I'm asking you to do is talk to me. I am not asking you to do anything else."

I knew I was asking him to leave his comfort zone and he might bolt.

"No." he realized what I was saying, looking at me with more sadness, "I can't…take 20 grand from you for two weeks of just talking. Why would you pay me all that money just to ask me some questions about my childhood?"

"That's how badly I want this." I admitted, giving in, "I'm sorry, Edward. I never meant to make you feel sick or…like a germ. I really like you and would never intentionally do that. If you want to go, you can go. But I really hope you stay."

I sat on my stool, unable to look at that wounded puppy look in his face anymore. I made him feel sick already. I suck. Maybe I should just be a bank teller or something where I can't hurt people. I put my head in my hands, waiting for him to take off with my check.

After a long silence, finally Edward spoke.

"If I do this…" he began, "You must give me equal time. What I mean is, I will be your patient…**AND**…your toy. You may study me and let me…study you in return. That is the only way I can stay."

I took a deep breath. If I wanted his honesty, then I should be honest with him as well.

"I am going to be totally honest with you Edward." I announced, "Yes, I am extremely attracted to you, and I know you know that. I have not had a great sex life. I have been with one person and it lasted 33 seconds and I hardly even remember it. Yes, I have fantasies and dreams and desires that I've done nothing about. And a big part of me wants to show those to you…but I'm…afraid."

"I am going to be totally honest with you, Bella." He announced back to me, "Yes, I am very (he closed his eyes for a second then opened them) messed up – and I know you know that. I have not had a great…life. I have been with lots and lots of women and can not connect with a single one of them unless there's sex involved. I have dreams and desires that I've done nothing about, too. And a big part of me wants to share those with you…but…I'm afraid too. I don't…talk to people…about ME. Ever."

"So we have a lot in common, then." I glanced down at my sneakers, then back up to his tense face, "Alright, Edward. Deal. But…please be patient with me, okay? The thing is, you do scare me and dazzle me at the same time and that makes me very nervous. I'm not used to those feelings. Maybe as we get to know each other more, I'll begin to feel…more comfortable around you."

He grinned, crossing his arms, "I dazzle you?"

"Frequently."

He smiled and relaxed again, purring, "I'll go slow if you do."

"Agreed." I said, taking a breath, feeling better about our arrangement now.

Then a naughty part of me reared its ugly head and I added, "And take your shirt off. Rule one – don't wear any shirts in here."

A wicked little smile spread across his face and I had to smile my own bad girl smile in return. He looked surprised at me. I was surprised at me, too.

"Why, Bella…" he feigned shock, taking off his shirt, "I think I may be able to help you after all."

He came up to me and put his shirt around my neck like it was a scarf. I just stood there, gazing up into those intense eyes, wondering what was going on inside him now.

"I like rule number one." He almost whispered, coming in for another kiss, his fingers curling slightly under my chin again. I could never resist his kisses. They were hot and melty and sensual. Most of all is the way they made me feel. Sexy and beautiful…and desirable, like someone else completely.

I was believing the lie. I was falling for him like every other woman he worked for. I needed to stop this and act professionally, like a psychiatrist would. Would a doctor take advantage of her patient like this ?

I took a step backwards and broke the kiss while Edward's mouth was still in puckered mode. He watched me moving away from him like I had done something wrong but then his face quickly turned friendly and devilish again.

"I have school in a couple of hours, so I thought it would be good to have a little session before I go." I walked past him, over to the living room area. I sat on the green sofa and figured he could sit in the nice easy chair across from me. I had the first blank tape in the machine already, so I picked up my new notebook and opened it to the first page, taking a pen.

"Would you like to sit down, Edward?" I asked very sweetly, pointing my pen casually to the chair.

"I thought the patient gets the couch." He tried to joke as he turned towards the living room.

"Do you want the couch?" I asked.

"Yes." He was already being a little difficult, but not overly so.

"Fine." I stood up and took the chair.

I watched him slowly move to my sofa. I thought he'd sit there but he was laying down on his back, putting one of his masculine legs over the back of it. His chest was completely bare and that was so appealing to me, I hated lots of hair on men. His strong arms folded behind his head and he closed his eyes. No underarm hair, either. Nice. I noticed his jeans were so low on his hips that I could see the cuts in his pelvis. I wonder if he has underwear on. He should be in a calendar. Damn it, there I go again.

I knew what he was trying to do. Distract me. It wasn't going to work. Much.

I will never see my sofa the same way ever again. God, he looks good laying there.

"I am ready, Dr. Bella." he said with a calm voice, "You may have your way with my brain…and later, my body. Although I think you may enjoy one more than the other."

He snickered, peeking at me like a little boy. I couldn't help smiling at him. He is so cute when he laughs.

"Alright." I began, hitting the record button and saying, "Edward Cullen – Session One."

"Just Edward." He said firmly, "Edward…okay?"

His eyes did not look insulted, just asking.

"Alright, Edward – Session One." I corrected, "It bothers you when I use your last name?"

"I don't have a last name when I'm working." He still used a nice voice, staring up at the ceiling.

Family issues.

"Do you have a family?" I asked.

He closed his eyes and I could tell he already was having a hard time.

"No, I landed here in a spaceship when I was three." He said, dripping with sarcasm.

"Edward…" I almost grinned.

"My parents knew my planet was going to explode so they put me in this little ship…" he continued, smirking a little, his eyes glancing at me.

I had to be patient and understanding with him. I was trying.

Avoidance.

I waited, not saying anything until he decided to speak again. He still had my check in his back pocket. I wanted to bring that up but then I didn't. I had to let him come to me.

"Yes I had a family." He said quietly, his eyes closed again.

"Had…" I repeated, "What happened to them?"

"Nothing." He gave a little sigh, "I mean…I don't know. I don't see them anymore."

That didn't surprise me.

"Do they know about…you working at Fire?" I asked, wishing this sounded more like a real conversation and not me just firing questions at him. This is why I needed these assignments. I had to get better at this. Practice would be the only way to do it.

"No." he kept his eyes closed, "I don't think so. I started working there after I lost contact with them."

Hmm. Something else broke him away from his family. Interesting.

"Edward…" I liked using his name, I wanted him to feel comfortable talking to me, "What was it that caused you to stop talking to your family?"

"Can I ask you…some questions…after I answer one of yours?" he looked over at me, those eyes of his…could I really say no to anything he wanted?

Is that professional? Patients don't get to ask their doctors personal questions.

"Please?" he added.

God.

"Alright, Edward."

"My family – my mother and father, are very rich…and very cold." He said, "They were never around when I was growing up. They were always too busy. I had no brothers and sisters. I became closer to the household staff than to them. But I got used to that. But then, when I was going to college, I met a girl they didn't like, didn't **approve** of. I don't think they LIKE anyone, even themselves. They told me it was either her or them. And I had to choose. I chose **her**."

He stopped and then rolled over onto his stomach, displaying his nice, tight little ass in their tight denim prison.

"My turn." He smiled at me, looking me up and down.

"Okay." I grinned, glad he was looking more relaxed now.

"Have you ever had an orgasm?" he asked right out as if he were asking me what size shoe I wore.

"God!" I turned bright red and I knew it. He smiled at me, liking my embarrassment.

"What?" he asked innocently, "It's a yes or no question, I thought that was an easy one."

He would think that.

"No." I said simply, watching his eyes lower a bit. He was looking at my body now. Shit!

I lifted my open notebook a little, hoping to hide whatever he was checking out on me.

"So…" I went to my next question, "When your parents saw that you chose this woman, what, they just…kicked you out of the house?"

"The house, the college, the money, everything." Edward informed, looking across the room now, but I could see in his head, he was seeing them.

"They're dead to me." He said after a moment, "Can't we talk about something else, please? They were never a real part of my life. I don't miss them."

"But I can see it bothers you." I said gently, "Have you ever tried to make any contact with them since that argument?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose and looked down into the sofa. I waited, not saying a thing until he raised his head up and said, "Once."

I began to talk again but he cut me off sharply, "And I'm not talking about that now so don't ask."

They were never a real part of his life, he says. Oh no, they're only the knife that is sticking out of his heart, they're not important.

To be rejected at such an early age…and neglected all through his childhood. Did that mean he never got to finish college, then?

His parents certainly did major damage.

He had not learned love from them. Perhaps this is partly why it is so hard for him to show love to others.

It was his turn to ask me something now. I had a feeling this question would be tougher.

"Tell me one of your fantasies." His voice oozed sensuality and he gave me the sexy eyes now, waiting.

He put his arms under his chin and smiled at me as I began to try to speak. Is he playing with me or does he really want to know?

"Ummm…" I felt my face turn hot again, "I have some abandonment issues, I know that. My father divorced my Mom when I was 3, so…I have some…dark fantasies."

"Ooooh, goodie!" Edward wasn't frightened of this, "Continue. And stop talking like a shrink, please."

Why am I bearing my soul to this guy? Even my best friends didn't know my darkest secret fantasies.

"Well, I have this one kinda fantasy that I am…forced." I looked down at my notebook, afraid to look at his face now.

"Rape fantasy." He said, still unafraid and smiling, "How?"

I swallowed and shrugged, "A few different fantasies on that. Sometimes I dream I come home and he grabs me from behind. Sometimes I am walking home and someone grabs me from behind and pulls me into a van or something…like that."

I felt like it took me 30 years to get through those few sentences. Now I was starting to see how Edward felt answering my questions. Maybe that is his plan, to show me what it's like, being on the hot seat. He is very smart.

"You seem to like the idea of being taken from behind." He teased, his face still resting on his burly arms, his smile still there and giving me no reason to feel shame.

"Back to my question." I reminded him, blushing and trying to keep my face straight.

"Go." He stared back at me intently, ready.

"Tell me about the girl you met…in college." I decided to drift away from his parents for a little bit.

"Why?" he looked a little tense again.

"Well, it's obvious she meant something to you." I said, "You gave everything up to be with her. Did you love her?"

He looked at me with another hard expression.

"No, I just liked the smell of her perfume." He avoided my question again with a sarcastic remark, raising his face off his arms now.

"Okay." I agreed, "So…you loved her."

This is good, I feel like I'm already getting to know him better, even though he's not going down quietly.

He didn't argue against my statement. He had loved someone. But now he was alone, it seems, and a stripper, prostituting himself. Something horrible must have happened. Can't ask that in the first session. Too soon.

"Can I just ask you her name?" I went slow as he requested.

He hesitated. Something very deep was going on inside his eyes as he looked away. God whatever happened it must have been awful. He can't even tell me her name. I just waited, not pushing.

Minutes later, he looked at me with true sorrow in his eyes and breathed, "I can't."

"It's alright, you don't have to say it." I assured him with my voice and smile.

"I'm sorry, Bella." He breathed again, looking at his open hands in slight shame.

"It's alright." I said again, just as carefully as before, "You're doing so great. I know this is hard. I appreciate that you're talking to me at all."

This seemed to make him feel better and he exhaled a long breath, relaxing his body again.

"My turn?" he asked me, not sure now, since he couldn't answer my last question.

"Go ahead." I gave in to him.

"Do you ever dream of being tied up?" he asked, smiling sweetly, always getting right to the heart of things.

"Frequently." I decided to own up to it. This was common so I didn't mind answering. Either that, or being with Edward made me braver than usual.

"Bella…." Edward purred in delight, "We are going to have so much fun on **my** time…"

I blushed and smiled at the same time, tired of making myself so rigid and professional. I could tell, with Edward, the more open I was with him, the more he would trust me and let me in a little more.

I tried to concentrate on what to ask him next but all I could think of now was Edward tying me up.

Before I could help myself, I just asked, "Have **you** ever been tied up?"

"Frequently." He used my word without missing a beat, his dreamy smile still playing on his moist shiny lips.

Wow. Wish I could hear some of those stories. Wait, I can, if he wants to discuss it.

"Really?" I asked, my face almost frowning, "What is it like?"

He shrugged, grinning slightly, "All depends who's tying you. If you're with an angry, violent person, it's going to hurt. If you're with a sexual, horny person, it is quite pleasant, actually. Sometimes all they want is the illusion that you're helpless and tied up. Like in the vampire cage. I can get my hands in and out of those cuffs whenever I want and everyone sees that. But as long as I pretend I can't get out and I scream and struggle a little bit, they get their fantasy."

"And you let angry, violent people tie you up?" I asked without thinking.

"The pay is very good." He said flatly.

"But they could hurt you." I said a little louder, trying to calm my voice. Suddenly I was afraid for him and wanted to talk sense into him.

"They DO hurt me, that's the point." He said blankly.

"What if it got out of control and someone did serious harm to you?" I wondered aloud.

"I have a manager." He informed, "She knows where my jobs are and when. If anything happens to me, she would know and come after me."

"How do they hurt you?" I asked, feeling very protective of him now.

"There are lots of ways to torture a slave, Bella." He shrugged, shaking his head a little, "I could go on forever. But some of them…the whip, the cane, needle play, electricity, fire, nipple clamps…"

"Whoa, wait." I held a hand up, "Electricity?"

"Not what you're thinking." He grinned, "There are different little machines out now. Some of them are little sticky pads that are placed on the skin in different places and then there's a little dial the woman would control the…intensity. Then she hits a button and I get a little zap."

"God, Edward…" I shivered from just the thought of it.

"It's alright." He smiled, "It makes no marks or anything. No permanent damage."

No, only mental damage. No big deal.

"Hey you just asked a whole bunch of questions, I think it's my turn." He reminded me with a bigger smile.

"Oh, yea, sorry." I forgot our deal for a minute. God, I am already caring about him in a big way. I'm not supposed to get that involved with a patient. I'm already screwing up this assignment.

"Do you like pain?" Edward asked me. He is trying to find out what I like, what I want him to do to me.

"No." I said right out, "I don't want to be electrocuted or anything."

"No, no." he chuckled at me, "I wouldn't do that to you. I told you, I will only do what you want me to do. I mean, light pain. Have you ever wanted to be spanked a little? Lightly!"

"I don't know…" I felt warm all over now, "Maybe."

This made Edward smile to himself. I see a light spanking in my future. Something inside me was actually happy about this. I felt my heart pounding excitedly.

"I notice that you're okay talking about sex." I began as he watched me in amusement, "But when I ask you personal questions you struggle with that."

"That's not a question." He said in a low voice, his eyes fixed on me.

"Okay." I chewed on my pen cap, "Do you…find that physical pain is easier to endure than…emotional pain?"

I think I was onto something here.

He looked like he was thinking this over himself and finally he said, "Let me put it this way - if I had a choice between talking to my parents again or being stuck all over my body with needles…"

There was a brief pause.

"I would take the needles." He said, his voice like ice, "Make of that what you like."

God, he's been stuck with needles. This man is very sad, that much is clear. I'm not sure if I can do anything to help him. But I so want to.

And now, this wasn't about my grade anymore. I really want to help him. Help him to stop doing what he's doing and have a better life. It became my new mission.

A loud knock banged on the door and I jumped from the sudden interruption. Edward didn't flinch or move in the slightest, only to cast his eyes at the door and then at me.

"Want me to get it?" he asked, beginning to stand up.

I saw the clock and it was nearly time for me to be going to school now. I knew it was Rosalie and Alice coming as usual to walk with me to class. A fiendish smile crept up my lips and I said, "Yea, thanks Edward."

He grinned at me and winked, back in dance club mode, and bit his bottom lip, opening the door half way, seeing my friends and revealing just enough of himself so they could get a good look at him.

Propping his arm up against the door, he smiled at them and purred, "Hello again."

I was trying not to laugh from my chair, wishing I could see their faces. I had not told them he would be here today. It would be a complete shock to them, seeing Edward half naked, answering my door.

I only heard two sets of gasping, panting voices in the hall.

I heard Alice going, "This is the right…place, yea, is Bella here?"

Oh, great. Poor Alice thought for a second she went to the wrong apartment. I've only lived here for 3 years !

"Well, yes, but she's very tired." Edward's voice was like melted sex, "And I'm not sure I'm finished with her yet."

What a little devil.

I hurried to the door before he told my friends I wasn't going to school today. I need to go, I had to have a little break from Edward, he was breaking me down already, very expertly so.

School would be the one place I could clear my mind and talk to my friends about what the hell I should do. Oh God, this deal I made. When I come home later, it would be his turn to be in charge of our activities. What did I do?

"Hi guys." I grabbed the knob and pulled it all the way open, watching Edward grin at me and back away from the door now.

"Come in." I said to them. They always came in for a little while first to chat before we had to get going.

"Uh, hi Bella." Rosalie said, her voice a little on the bitchy side as they walked in.

Edward was in the kitchen, taking our used dishes and forks, starting to wash the dishes without a word.

Jesus, that is sexy. A man washing the dishes without being asked. And with that bare chest…I wish he'd get wet and soapy by accident. I almost forgot my friends were here until Alice started talking.

"Hey, Rose." I sat at a bar stool at the counter of the kitchen, not wanting to lose sight of my brand new dishwasher.

Alice came around to my side of the counter, hidden from Edward's view and slapped my arm hard, making her mouth form the word "WOW!!"

Her hands were flailing around her head silently yelling to me as I gave a little giggle at her. Rosalie was staring at Edward, too, especially in his crotch area, if I could judge by the lowering of her eyes.

I'm sure Edward noticed all the non-talking going on but he didn't act strangely at all. He moved over towards us, across the counter, a wash cloth sitting over one shoulder, "Would you like anything to eat…or drink? I can fix something real quick if you like."

He looked at me, Rosalie and Alice, waiting for a response. This man is going to spoil the shit out of me.

Rosalie smiled at him like her husband **returning** from war now. I gave her a kick to her ankle, waking her up.

"Oh, no, that's alright." She straightened, looking nervous now.

"No, thanks." Alice saw him smile to her, "I ate."

"Well, if you change your minds, just whistle." He winked and went back to the corner of the room, out of view, the water running again as he washed the pan.

He was humming to himself quietly, not intruding on our silent talking. The melody was beautiful, not to mention his deep erotic voice.

Alice made a circle around us three girls with her finger and motioned to the door. She wanted to chew me out or congratulate me outside, it looked like.

I nodded and went to get my bag, taking my notebook with me. I grabbed my purse and worked the door key out of my key ring, going around the round metal clasp until it was loose.

I motioned them out first with my hand, waving them away.

They began walking into the kitchen area, in front of me, being extra sweet now that they were in Edward's line of sight.

"Edward, we're going to school." I made myself say a bit loudly. The water went off and when I came into the kitchen he was walking towards us, drying his perfect hands on the towel that was happily laying over his bare shoulder a moment ago.

"It was nice seeing you two again." He smiled at the girls, hands going on his hips, "Next time you must stay longer."

Charming. Man, he's good.

They both giggled at him and fumbled at the door, apparently they forgot how to use a doorknob while in Edward's presence. He played the perfect gentleman, saying, "Allow me, please." And he opened the door for them, now behind it.

He must think women are all retarded if this is how they all act when he speaks to them.

Alice and Rosalie went through the door, standing in the hall waiting for me now as I stood in front of Edward, handing him the key.

"This is the house key in case you want to go out." I began, "I have another one so you can use this one the whole time you're here."

"Alright." He had a pleasant look on his face as he listened closely to me, taking it and shoving it into his front jeans pocket.

"And…make yourself at home." I repeated, truly wanting him to feel at ease here. From the way he laid on the sofa maybe I was worrying about this unnecessarily.

"Do anything you want." I motioned with my hand around the apartment, not sure why, and dropped my hand at my side, "I'll be home around four. If there's anything special you need, food-wise, make me a list and I'll get it for you."

What else? I felt like I was leaving a little child alone here all day. I had to stop this. He's a man, older than me, even! He's not a moron, he'll be fine. Just stop this already.

The edge of his mouth turned up a little bit as I rambled on. I was entertaining him now.

"And I left my cell phone number there on the pad by the phone if you need to call me." I informed. Yea, that'll happen.

"Everything will be fine, Bella." He assured me, "Don't worry."

He lowered his voice so only he and I could hear now and he leaned in, close to my ear, adding, "I know you love to worry, but don't. One thing I am going to teach you is how to relax."

He straightened up and gave me that wonderful crooked smile.

"Uhh…okay, then." I couldn't think of a witty comeback to that one, "I will…see you at four."

He stood there, grinning at me, not saying anything.

"Bye Edward." I felt my eyes wetten a little, not sure why. Deep down I wondered if he'd be here when I got home. Was he conning me? Maybe he didn't like my questions just now and didn't want to be here anymore. Maybe…

I was walking out the door, backpack over my shoulder when he said, "Bella." A bit loudly, not angrily so, just acting like I forgot something.

"Yea?" I stopped and turned towards him.

Alice and Rosalie were standing right outside the threshold of the doorway, eyes glued to us.

"Come here." He said invitingly.

I came closer to him, feeling my blood quicken and my heart thudding away in my chest, wondering if he wanted what I think he wanted. I still was not used to this, having the attention of a man this delicious. Or any man, for that matter.

"Excuse us, ladies." Edward still acted proper, just closing the door a little bit, to hide us from their view momentarily.

I glanced at them as they got hidden by the door and looked up at his happy green eyes.

"You keep on trying to get away from me without kissing me goodbye. I don't like it." He purred, acting hurt as he grabbed my arms and brought them up a bit, bringing my mouth to his open, hungry one.

The kiss was a bit rough but incredible! His lips had to be the most sleek, warm, wet pair in the United States. I still couldn't get over it. The faint taste of Omelet de Eduardo and bacon, mixed with a bit of that spearmint danced into my mouth as I kissed him back, trying to match his energy and enthusiasm.

I'm sure Rosalie and Alice could hear our kissing sounds out there but I forgot about them again. And all the world was only him and I.

Without warning, he released my arms and my body came down a bit, my mouth losing his too soon.

"Go learn something." He opened the door for me all the way and rested his cheek against the edge of it, smiling at me as if I were the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen.

Grandma, thank you for your inheritance. I had no idea money could buy me something like THIS but I was so satisfied with my purchase so far. And this was only day one!

Right away I hated thinking of Edward that way. I am just as bad as those bitches who hurt him and made him kneel naked at the door as they come in. I really do have some dark places inside me. I have always known that but having Edward here, I know it more.

Curious, though, I get so angry when I think of someone else using or hurting Edward. I would make a note of that later, I decided.

"Any special instructions for me before you go?" he asked, the wonderful sexy smile still on his face. His expressions look so real, not phony at all. He is a very good actor, I'll give him that.

"Uhhh…no." I blushed a little, picturing him naked and kneeling before me, "Just…do anything you like."

Why do I keep repeating myself? I need to leave.

"As you wish." His voice made my toes tingle.

"Bye." I blushed like a five year old girl.

"Bye." He did his best voice of a five year old boy.

I made myself walk and not look back. I didn't hear the door close until I was walking down the stairs, towards the front door that lead outside.

Was he watching me walk away? God, he was looking at my ass, wasn't he?

Here it comes.

"Holy SHIT, BELLA!!" Alice got in first as we stepped out into the bright, warm afternoon, a busy city sidewalk filled with walking people, lined with stores and pizza places, shops.

"What is he doing there, doing your dishes?" Rosalie butt in, loudly, "Did you sleep with him last night?"

"NO!" I shouted, walking quickly, holding my strap protectively, "He came this morning."

"Oh he came, huh?" Alice teased, giggling in glee, walking on my left side as Rosalie was on my right.

"TSK." I frowned at her, "Not like that, slob! He ARRIVED this morning. He agreed to be my subject and we had a little interview before you got there."

"He does interviews with no shirt on?" Rosalie squinted at me, "Then why did he say you were tired and he wasn't finished with you?!"

"Ugh!" I rolled my eyes, "He was playing with you! He likes that. That's how he is."

"Oh, look she knows him already!" Alice giggled, "That is so cute!"

"He was kissing you!" Rosalie reminded, "We both heard it. Or are you going to tell us he was just giving you some oxygen for the next three hours in case you run out?"

Alice giggled. "Maybe he was checking her teeth with his tongue!"

"You guys are so gross!" I looked both ways and crossed the street, hurrying as cars began to move towards us.

We made it across alive, not even thinking twice about it, and the conversation kept going on.

"We don't blame you, Bella." Alice said as we started up the quiet street towards campus, "He is very hot and nice, but you yourself were the one to say that you shouldn't date a stripper. Oh my God, your Dad would absolutely murder you!"

Rosalie let out a laugh. "I would LOVE to see that dinner happen."

"We're not dating." I was ready to confess, only to them.

"Come here." I motioned with my head, walking behind the side of a building where it was quiet and private.

They were right with me as I leaned in and said in a low voice, "You both have to swear to God you won't repeat what I'm going to tell you."

"We swear!" Alice's tongue was on the ground.

"Rosalie." I looked at her sternly.

"Yes, I swear." She looked annoyed but interested.

"Okay." I took a breath, "I paid him. To live in my apartment with me. And be my subject. For the next two weeks."

And to be my toy.

But I didn't tell them that part.

"OH JEEZ !!" Alice smiled, jumping once up and down, her hands in her hair.

"No way!" Rosalie looked a little impressed now and said, "How much?!"

"My inheritance." I admitted, looking down for a second.

"Twenty thousand DOLLARS?!!" Alice almost screamed it.

"Will you shut up?!" I winced, looking around us.

"Wait." Rosalie put up a perfectly manicured hand, "Just to answer some of your questions, he is charging you twenty thousand dollars? You are so getting screwed."

Alice piped up now, "You should've called us to help you seal the deal. That is outrageous, Bella."

"Well, it turns out…" I swallowed, biting my bottom lip, "He thought I was hiring him for something else. I guess I didn't explain it right, or he didn't hear me over the music that well or something…but…he thinks I hired him for…sex."

Rosalie's and Alice's mouths dropped open in unison and I cringed, waiting for what they'd say next.

"Well, say something!" I finally ordered them, "I kinda straightened it out a little with him this morning. He knows now that he's my subject for the thesis, but he also still thinks he's my…toy."

"TOY?!" Rosalie almost turned bright red.

"That's what he calls himself." I muttered sadly, feeling that sinking in my stomach again, remembering the pain he told me he had gone through at the hands of women. No wonder he couldn't trust us and felt so afraid to expose himself to me.

They were both laughing and I instantly became enraged.

"Don't LAUGH!" I yelled, sneering at them, "Don't you **dare** laugh at him!"

"I'm not laughing at him, I'm laughing at YOU!" Rosalie pointed out, "You are in a lot of trouble."

"I know."

"What are you planning to do?" Rosalie asked further, "Sleep with him?"

"No." I said, then, "I don't KNOW!"

I grabbed at my long hair and pulled, my emotions all over the place. I felt tears sting my eyes.

"Well, if you do, you'd better use condoms!" Alice said, "On the way home, you'd better buy some – large."

"She doesn't even know how to buy condoms." Rosalie glanced to Alice, then came back to me, "We will help you, Bella. But realize this, you don't have any real experience at this. You have no idea what you're doing."

"Well, then, maybe he can teach me some things." I said, revealing that maybe I did want to play with Edward a little bit. Actually, a lot.

"Oh God, you ARE going to sleep with him." Alice covered her mouth with both hands.

"BELLA!" Rosalie's eyes lit up, "Can we play with him, too?"

Alice leapt up, squealing while Rosalie was telling her to shut up so she could get my permission.

"No, no, no!" I cringed, "I don't think that's a good idea. I don't want to ask him to do…those kinds of things."

"Oh, he would do it." Rosalie frowned at me, frustrated now, "Come on, you can ask him, at least."

"We have to go, we're gonna be late!" I avoided her questions and ran off towards class, hearing them trailing behind me, begging for a turn.

See next chapter !

Love, WinndSinger

Notes: Should I later in the 2 weeks let Rosalie and Alice in on some Edward play time? Give me your vote! Would you let them play with Edward if you were Bella? Let me know your opinion.

Luv ya ! Thanks for the great reviews !!


	4. Awakening a Goddess

4

Notes: Hey, thanks for all the great ideas and reviews, guys! Don't worry, I am going to listen and take all of your advice and Rosalie and Alice will not be getting their hands on Edward.

(Beware, they are mad at all of you and have sworn revenge on each one of you.)

But thanks to all of you, you were right, as I thought, too, if Bella is trying to treat him like a person and not a thing, it would not be right to do that to Edward. But I will have her mention it to him at one point. Thanks guys !!

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

EPOV

After Bella left I looked around for things I could do for her. The place was immaculately clean already. She must have been doing that for me. Sweet girl.

I already liked Bella a lot. She is shy and too smart for her own good. That must keep guys away, most men are intimidated by that. Not me. I saw Bella as a closed, tight rosebud. Lovely, fresh, new…part of me felt wicked for even accepting this job. I didn't want to spoil her or corrupt her with myself. But I wanted to free her, to make the rosebud bloom and open…slowly…delicately…carefully.

She is so refreshingly different from most women I've known.

College girl. Just like her, my girl. Also a smart one, all into books and school. And she blushes, too. My girl used to blush. Not the same way as Bella does, but it reminded me.

Bella asked me to say her name today and I couldn't do it. I wanted to but my throat wouldn't work. I have never spoken to anyone about it, not ever. How weird is it that a girl would buy me for two weeks and want me to talk out all my problems of my past? Maybe it's not a coincidence. I wanted to believe that somewhere, up there, someone might have sent Bella to me for a reason, to help me, to try and reach me.

But there is no "up there" and there is no someone who would care about my pain or future. If there is, where have they been before now? If they wanted to help me now, they were too fucking late.

I checked the time. 1:30 pm. I had to make my call at 3pm so I have a little time. I already called Victoria and told her I couldn't make it into the club tonight.

Tonight was Bella's, our first night together.

She looked so scared this morning when I took my shirt off. Poor little thing. I'd have to be less abrupt than normal with this one. I knew that right away. I don't mind. It would be a nice change taking my time, seducing her, not rushing in. I couldn't remember the last time I got to move slowly with a woman.

There is a lot to be said for going slow. Most women I work for don't see it but if done correctly, building up the anticipation, the mystery, the sensuality of exploring and taking small bites first aroused me a great deal. The longer I would have to wait for Bella, the more I would want her and delight when I could finally have her.

She had told me she wasn't a virgin but she also said she did it once before and for…33 seconds? Was that a joke? It sounded serious when she said it. If this is true, then she has not really made love before, or had sex, either for that matter. Not good sex, anyway. So I would treat her as if she were still a virgin, I decided. She deserved to start over again. I could be her _real_ first time.

I have been paid by mothers to give their daughters their first time. That part was always a little weird even to me, but most of those times, I had just serviced the mothers and had pleased them so much they wanted to give me as a gift to their daughters. No girls under 18, though. I still have a couple rules I haven't broken of my own.

The daughters never found out that I was paid to be with them. I had to play the part of being a man they bumped into at the Blockbuster, or set up on a date with her, a son of her mother's co-worker, some story that got me into their lives somehow.

Buying me for their daughters was their way of ensuring safe sex, that I always practice, and sometimes to tear them away from some loser boyfriend that wasn't treating her properly. And also, to give them a wonderful and sensual first experience.

Afterwards, I would have to have a very delicate conversation with the girl and make up some excuse for why I couldn't see her anymore. I could always say something like, I live in Cancun or Hawaii and have to go back home now. I had a million decent reasons that didn't hurt them and took me out of their lives quickly. But it always bothered me even days and weeks later. I always felt like I had hurt them in the end.

But the point is, I know how to be gentle and soft and slow. It made me happier than some of the rougher things I did with women.

So this is how I would begin with Bella. And later, if she wanted to explore those darker fantasies, I could do that too. I can be angel…and I can be demon, too.

I ran out to the bank and made my deposit Bella had given me, swung by a couple more good food stores to get supplies for dinner, and some things from my place that I would need for tonight.

I got back to Bella's place just in time to make my daily phone call and everything went well today in that respect.

I checked over my schedule for tomorrow and saw I had a bachlorette party to dance at, only for about 2 hours at a private home. I'd ask Bella later if she really wanted to go with me on these jobs.

Flipping the page to Wednesday I saw 12pm – Pizza Delivery – Paige.

Bella can't come to that job. Maybe she'd have a class that day. I hoped.

Nothing on Thursday – good.

Friday night I'd have to be at Fire. Friday's were big nights there and Bella could come with her friends if she wanted.

Then I turned the page and saw Saturday – 1pm - Raven.

Fuck. Raven was not her real name, I never knew her real name but Saturday would be a rough day for me. I would have to make something up so Bella wouldn't follow me along on that one.

Sunday said – Film – 4pm. Jackie's place.

That's a tough one. I'm not sure if Bella would want to see me playing my part in a low budget sex film. Maybe I could try to get out of that one or change it to after I was finished with Bella.

I put my book away and began to get things ready for my Bella when she got home.

I was going to sauté shrimp in oil and garlic and have angel hair pasta on the side with a nice loaf of French bread. I almost got wine but decided against that. Seeing Bella's fridge I could see she didn't normally drink. Only cokes and juices were there. And also I didn't want to make her think I was plying her with wine to seduce her easier.

I wanted tonight to be just for touching…talking…and getting to know each other, to break the ice a bit. I had no intentions of making love to her yet. We have time. Lots of it.

I had some nice massage oils of mine from home sitting in a little bowl of hot water, warming up nicely. And I found some nice towels of Bella's and put a few in a basket near the bed. And yes, I did the rose petals on the bed, a few of my candles around the bedroom.

I even put a pink light bulb in her lamp in the bedroom to create a soft glow of light. And I had my ipod set up in the bedroom, an entire playlist of mine already set up to play sensual, soft music perfect to relax to. I had created a young girl's paradise here and was pretty proud of myself when I was finished.

The sun was still out but by the time we had finished eating dinner it would start to become dark. Then I could center myself on making Bella happy. I was wearing black jeans and no shirt, as my rule dictated when I heard her coming up the stairs. I hoped she was alone. My feet were always bare inside and even outside sometimes. I hated shoes.

For the tenth time, I peeked at myself in the full length mirror on the back of Bella's bathroom door. Hair still sticking out in all directions, but not too messy. Nicely shaven, no stubble on my face, teeth – good and clean, breath – cinnamon flavored. Every thing as good as I could get it. I wish I could erase that damn bite mark on my ass. It was still there. But I couldn't help that right now.

I went to my food on the stove and stirred it a little more, hoping she could smell it out in the hallway.

Opening the door before Bella reached it surprised her. She was alone.

I smiled warmly at her, not wanting to make her more tense.

"Hello, Dr. Bella." I greeted, wanting to see her smile. I leaned in and got a soft, small kiss.

She did smile up at me and chuckled as I got back, letting her inside. She looks more nervous now than she did this morning. I would put her out of her misery in a few minutes but not yet. I liked seeing her squirm a little bit.

I gently closed the door as she entered the kitchen.

"I was so scared you'd be on your knees when I came in." Bella admitted, then saw the food and added, "Ohhh God, that smells GREAT! I smelled that from downstairs but I didn't think…that was coming from _my_ place."

"I am insulted." I said with a deep voice, "I told you I'm a good little toy. You doubted me?"

I took another slow kiss, taking her backpack off her shoulder, placing it in the corner of the living room.

"And I don't get on my knees until you tell me to." I informed, "The one rule you gave me is being obeyed."

"I see that and I'm glad." She said, "I'd hate to have to punish you."

She blushed again as I laughed and spread a tablecloth out on the living room floor.

_Bella has a lot of potential. A rosebud dieing to bloom and show all her wonders_.

"We're having dinner down here tonight." I informed, "I'll set the table, don't worry."

I began putting the food onto plates and getting the silverware. I laid everything out on the cloth on the floor. This would be much nicer, looking out the window seeing the sun going down instead of hunched over the little counter on stools.

She looked very pleased about my idea and I offered her a seat across from me as I sat on the floor, my back resting on the sofa behind me.

I had the music playing in the background very quietly so we could talk.

I poured two sodas into chilled glasses and set them down also on our picnic blanket.

Bella sat Indian style on the floor and I had my legs laid out straight before me, my feet crossed.

We began to eat and Bella confessed, "I love shrimp. It's my favorite. Thank you so much for doing all this. You didn't have to, you know."

"Hush." I stopped her, "I wanted to. Now eat."

"Yes sir." She joked, eating from her fork.

"Oooh, I liked that. Say it again." I teased her a little as she giggled, covering her mouth.

"Bella, can I say something before we go any further?" I asked politely, wanting to set her mind at ease.

She still looked so stiff and nervous. And now that I asked this she stared at me, frozen.

"Sure," she said, tense now.

"After we talked earlier," I began, smiling tenderly, "I realized that all this is very new to you, like you said. So I want you to know. Tonight I have some things planned, but it's not about having sex. I want us to take our time and get to know each other tonight. I want to touch you and I want you to touch me. I want to talk to you and kiss you. I want to hold you and massage every inch of you and then I want you to massage me. And I want us to fall asleep together, wrapped up in each other. But I will not push you into having sex with me tonight. I want you to tell me when you want me. And then I will be glad to ravage you. I don't want you to be afraid of me, or nervous. Does all of this sound good to you?"

She looked up at me and had tears in her eyes. I didn't move. For a few seconds, she was silent and then she exhaled a long breath.

Her voice cracked but she said, "That sounds perfect."

And she smiled this amazing smile I had never seen on her before. She liked my plan for tonight! I was so relieved and glad I had read her correctly. She was very difficult for me to read. This one important time I had gotten it right.

My goddess was pleased with me. And I felt my chest loosen and relax.

I gave her a big smile back, excited about what tonight would hold. I was almost too excited to finish eating.

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

EPOV

After her last bite of shrimp was gone and the bread was a faint memory, I picked up all the dishes, letting them soak in the sink until tomorrow. When I returned a few minutes later, I reached my hands down to her.

She looked up at me shyly and gave her hands to me. I brought her to her feet and asked, "May I kiss you, Bella?"

She seemed a lot more relaxed now after I had made my statement earlier, I was so glad it put her at ease.

Nodding at me, she blushed a little bit then.

I kissed her slowly, not going too hard as I sometimes tend to do. I placed lots of little baby kisses on her mouth and her lips were responding in kind to me.

Slowly, I was dancing with her, my feet moving her around ever so slowly in a small circle.

"I am yours, Bella." I closed my eyes and whispered, "There is no wrong for us. Anything you want…is yours. Never be afraid of me. I will never deny you…anything."

Her eyes were closed now, too and she let my words float into her ears, not answering yet.

I waited a few more minutes and then I asked, "Would you like to take a shower with me?"

She smiled up at me and I knew her answer was yes.

"Come, Bella." I led her towards the bathroom, backing myself to the door, biting my bottom lip as I kept my eyes on her innocent face.

She instructed me once inside how to work the water and the lever to raise to make the shower spray. Her shower had glass see through doors, the glass blurred so anyone looking in from outside wouldn't see every detail of the one showering.

The shower water running hot behind us, I wore a sexual little smile as I began to undress my Bella.

She looked a little afraid but she tried to hide it. I kissed her again to calm her and whispered, "Don't be afraid, Bella. I meant what I said. I will go slow."

"Thank you, Edward." She kissed me back, sounding braver now, her hands reached up and grabbed the back of my hair, her kisses increasing in desire.

"You're very welcome." I tried to say between her large kisses, my fingers slowly moving her green sweater up her stomach, taking my time. She let out a little moan that sounded pleased to me. I lifted the sweater up past her breasts, a white bra cupping them nicely into a heart shaped cleavage.

Finally, I lifted the sweater up over her head, letting her small hands slip out of the sleeves as I peeled it completely off of her body, placing it down on the counter behind me.

"You're so gorgeous, Bella." I said, still kissing her, breathlessly as I tried to keep up with her rough kisses now.

She'd have to stop this if she didn't want me to take her right in the shower.

"You shouldn't cover yourself up with sweaters." I added, taking my lips away from her hungry mouth, moving them to her shoulder, kissing them softly as I moved the bra straps down and unhooked the bra at her back, having no trouble there.

She gave another sexy moan as the bra hit the floor. I took my time and kissed down her creamy little neck, coming to my knees as I placed kisses over every inch of her. I did not go right after her breasts, as most men might do. I took my time getting there.

I circled her wrists with my hands, holding them at her sides, almost in a restraining way, to keep her still while I covered every peak and valley from her shoulders to her belly button, licking my tongue inside the little hole there, getting more sighs of pleasure from her.

I would get back to this later, but now I wanted her in the shower with me. I opened her jeans while I was on my knees before her, unzipping and gently pulling them down to her ankles, and then her panties, too.

I stood up and held her hand as she yanked her feet out, now completely naked for me. My eyes liked what they saw and I quickly got out of my own jeans, wearing no underwear.

She went in the shower first and I was right behind her. I loved the slight burn of the hot water on my skin and I ran my fingers back through her long, thick curls, watching the water wet and soften it, soon making it a nice, slicked back almost ebony plait. I kissed her chin and mouth, nose, closed eyelids, forehead, down her cheekbones. I let her stand under the showering hot water while I slightly shivered just out of its reach.

I was adoring my goddess, worshipping her every where, not missing the most insignificant area.

I moved my hands down her neck and then lower, stroking her breasts softly as she let her mouth open slightly, her breathing hard and fast, enjoying the sensations of water and fingers, palms…kneading gently, not groping.

"How does this feel, Bella?" I asked in a whisper, my own hair becoming wet now.

"God." She panted, "So good. Don't stop, please…"

"Your wish is my command." I purred playfully, moving my hands down her ribs, finding her nice ass cheeks, my hands squeezing lightly, circling with my palms.

"Can I touch…Bella?" I put my hand cautiously between her legs, stroking ever so gently, not making any moves to insert fingers yet.

"Yes, Edward." She peeked at me and then closed her eyes again.

I smoothed the little bit of hair there down, the hot water darkening it as well.

"I want to wash you." I told her without hesitation, taking one of her bath sponges and pouring some of her body wash into it.

She trembled a little bit as I began, turning her back to me and stroking her wet hair aside. I kissed the skin of her back, soaping in wide circles after each kiss with the sponge, my other hand softly moving the suds down her body. Her voice hummed in response, telling me I was doing well.

I used my hand to glide the bubbles down Bella's white little ass, resisting the urge to slide my fingers down into the crease of it. No, I did not want to frighten my goddess. I was here to serve her, not myself.

Kneeling down, I slowly washed down her smooth, shiny legs. Hmm, someone had shaved recently, I smiled to myself. I slowly moved her legs around so she'd face me now, continuing my lathering into my right hand.

I lifted each foot carefully, letting her hold onto my shoulders for support while I washed her feet, loving her little toes. I leaned in and placed a kiss on her foot and she gave a little gasp.

"No, Edward, you don't have to kiss my _feet_." She whispered, looking a little sad.

"Yes, Bella." I agreed with her,(never argue with your goddess), "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." She smiled sweetly down at me, stroking my wet hair, "You are so wonderful. I never had anyone wash me before."

I smiled up at her and said in a low voice, "You've been neglected, Bella. But I'm here now."

I moved my hands up the front of her legs, over her bony little knees and up her thighs. Slowly and carefully, I stroked my hand between her legs, making them open slightly. I sponged and soaped and washed the bubbles out of her little tuft of pubic hair and placed a small kiss there, but I did not linger there for very long. Later.

Showers were good for washing and touching, but despite the romance novels, a shower is not a good place to have any kind of sexual activity. Especially if you use soap and shampoo. No friction between skin is a big problem and most times, 20 minutes is all the hot water you have in a shower. It's an awful feeling to be making love to a woman in sudden cold water.

Safety is also a big concern. A shower is a good place to begin the evening, but I preferred not to fuck in there, even if I had planned on having Bella tonight.

Rising to my feet again, I continued stroking the white strawberry suds over her.

Soaping up her stomach, then up her ribs, peppering more soft kisses there after their washing, I moved up to her breasts. I gave them a nice, sensual, methodical wash, not pinching nipples or biting yet.

I reached for the shampoo, not finished with her yet.

"This one?" I asked her with a grin. I chose the strawberry shampoo, to match the body wash. It seems she likes strawberry.

She giggled and nodded and I could already feel as if a big weight had been lifted between us. I didn't notice if she was looking at my body at all but that would also come later. Before the end of the night, she would see and feel every inch of me and I hoped her nervousness would fade a little bit from now on.

"Come here you." I kissed her nose and moved her head back, turning her a bit so the water didn't run down her hair anymore. I got my fingers in there and massaged her scalp as I lathered the shampoo.

"Uuuhhhh God." She moaned and closed her eyes while I used both hands, using all my energy and giving my every attention to her.

"I love your hair, Bella." I kissed her mouth again, moving her quickly back into the hot caressing fingers of the shower. My fingers slowly worked the shampoo out of her thick, wet hair, my lips not releasing hers yet.

"Mmmmm, so warm…" I couldn't pull my lips away and I didn't want to.

Then I felt her lips break away slowly and she actually grabbed my shoulders, pulling me down towards her so she could kiss my neck. I felt teeth and soft nibbles and tongue.

Yes, Bella wants to be a sexual being, I was aware of that since she flung her arms around me at the club in the dressing room. And before I go, she will be. I didn't want to make her into a slut, I just wanted her to be free to do what she desired and stop being so closed and afraid to act on those desires.

There is another Bella inside, trapped, clawing to get out. I will free you, Bella, don't be afraid.

"Bella…" I moaned now, loving what she was doing to my neck, her little short fingernails digging slightly into my big shoulders.

Then she moved me so I was standing under the pouring hot water. I had to admit it did feel sooo good to feel the heat and become wet before her.

"Your turn." She whispered, roughly spinning me with my back to her now. My lips smiled involuntarily. I like this.

She kissed my back, her fingers moving over it, exploring every line and curve, just as I had done for her. She reached up and intertwined her fingers into my hair, pulling my head back a little until I was almost looking up. She wasn't rough with me, still sweet but firm.

The water ran down my throat as she held my face back this way and I could feel her other hand moving under my arm, on my chest, moving in small little circles.

I moved my hands behind me, moving them up and down the sides of her legs, unable to stop touching her.

"God, your body is so beautiful…" she purred sexily into my ear now, "Especially wet."

I let out a breath, smiling. Maybe this rosebud would bloom quicker than I imagined.

"So is yours, Bella."

"Let's see how nice you look with soap suds all over you." She hugged me from behind, her breasts pressing into my warm wet back.

"Yes, Bella." I agreed again, smiling more.

She washed me all over, just as I had done to her. Bella is smart and a fast learner. I liked being her teacher. Every bit as thorough as I was, even more gentle than I had been with her, she amazed me and I could not remember a time when I was so pampered as I was by her tonight.

When I felt soap suds dancing over my ass and her hand was stroking them away, I felt something I didn't expect. She kissed the bite mark that was still embedded there.

Something inside me tightened and I actually felt little tears come to my eyes. I blinked them away and thank God we were in the shower and that my back was to her. She didn't see. But I had felt her, caring for me again. And I had to admit to myself at least, it was a monumentally beautiful feeling for me.

She finished washing and shampooing me, avoiding my penis as much as she could without insulting me. I just grinned at that. Bella was still wrapped in her shy girl paper and that was okay for now. I would be tearing off that paper soon enough.

I got out of the shower first, all the hot water gone, and grabbed her towel from the bar on the wall. Wrapping her up in it, I towel dried her hair, moved down her face, her neck, shoulders, under her arms, tickling her a little. I again took my sweet time drying every inch of skin, placing small wet kisses upon every thing I had just dried off.

Her breathing became deep and heavy and when I peeked up at her face her eyes were closed happily, her lips smiling as she let herself enjoy it.

I gave her cute little ass a vigorous towel massage as she giggled and tried to escape me but I wasn't having it.

Finally, I wrapped the towel around her dry body and kissed her lips, my own body still naked and damp.

After I kissed her, I told her to go into our bedroom. I used the word 'our' hoping that pleased her. I told her to go into our bedroom and lay down on the bed, on the towels.

She went without a word, smiling as I quickly dried myself off and set off after her. I found her laying there, completely naked and looking content.

"Edward…" she cooed, "You made my room look so beautiful…"

She referred to the candles, the pink light, the rose petals, the opera music playing low nearby but it was nothing compared to her body being completely exposed to me, and her not being afraid or nervous anymore. It was a lovely sight to behold.

"Shhh." I sat on the bed at her side, laying my finger lightly over her lips, "The only beautiful thing here is you. And I'm not finished with you yet. Roll over, little girl."

Her wet, tussled hair looked so black and wild as I crawled over to her, starting my erotic massage as she laid there, face laying on her pillow, her eyes closing.

"That's it, relax." I said in my soothing voice, moving so I was sitting on my knees between her now parted legs. I used my warmed up oils and lotions, working my trained hands up and down the entire length of her legs first, one at a time. Up and down, my thumb in the center of her leg, firmly pressing and sliding down along the hot thickness of the oils.

I worked the bottoms of her feet, too, going terribly slow as she moaned and breathed slower, not moving at all as I worked.

After her feet were good and limp, I began moving my oiled hands up and down her legs a little higher, beginning to let my hands travel inches up over the bottoms of her ass cheeks, just barely crossing that line enough for her to notice.

"Oooohhhhh…." She breathed, letting me touch her as I wanted, not resisting me but enjoying me again. I felt my lips smile a bit but I kept my eyes on what I was doing, determined to give her the best massage of her life, one she'd never forget.

"I love touching you, Bella." I shared softly, "Your skin is perfect."

"Oh my God…" she barely whispered, almost to herself.

Now I was working my lubed hot hands in wonderful wide circles, one hand on each ass cheek, circling into it and then gliding with ease down the center, down the little crevice there, over and over…slowly…painfully slowly, making it last forever.

I could feel my cock hardening but I tried to ignore it. No, I told it mentally, no sex tonight. Go take a night off, willya? Go see a movie or something. Leave me alone, you insatiable thing.

I moved my hands together on each ass cheek, one coming from under it, the other coming down from the top, meeting in the middle and giving a firm kneading on each meeting. I repeated this on the other little ass cheek, getting lots of happy sounds from my goddess.

Then I put one hand on the bottom of each ass cheek and slowly, very slowly pushed upwards, making her skin a wave, a small ripple moving gradually.

I kept moving my hands up over her ass and now firmly and crawling slower going up the bottom of her spine, brining this hot wet wave up her back now. As I did this, I laid my bare chest slightly onto the backs of her thighs, then resting my pecks on her round little ass, letting her feel my flesh against hers.

My palms moved all the way up her back, my arms almost together as they reached up, straight and long as my eyes closed, my lips moving one inch down and finding her there. The musky scent of the oil inhaled into my nostrils as I placed a deep wet kiss right over the crack in her ass. Right upon that kiss, I took a soft lick, kissing again. My body moved up a bit, my fingers massaging deeper into the slick oils as my mouth embedded another longer kiss on the bottom of her spine next, my chest now fully laying against her tight little cheeks.

I wasn't kneeling between her legs anymore, now I was laying there, on her body, my legs now straddling her as her own legs straightened and laid closed slightly within mine, almost trapped by me. She was going nowhere.

Her noises were constant and aroused little utterances that drove me further, loving it when I pleased my owner. Nothing gave me more pleasure than making them all happy with me, only me.

My hands moved along the sides of Bella's body, and I exacted a few giggles out of her, tickling her a little bit. I let my breath do a little massaging of its own along her back in between the kisses I was raining down upon her spine and shoulder blades.

33 seconds…I thought to myself. What buffoon did she let in her bed? Hell, it took me longer than 33 seconds to just undress the little college goddess. Poor Bella, having to endure a boy's version of lovemaking. Well, hopefully after me, she would know what real sex was and wasn't and what a man is, versus what a boy is.

"Edwarddddd…." She started breathing my name between her moans and heavy exhales of breath. I love that. I love her saying my name. I could listen to it forever.

I was sliding my hands under her arms, slowly moving a bit underneath her breasts, then back towards the center of her back, just barely touching the sides of her breasts as I spread the oil around generously.

"Feelllsss…soooo…goooood, Edddwaarrrrdddd…." She growled, her breathing slower and deeper. Her body was responding very well to my hands and lips.

"I love pleasing you, Bella. I love it so much." I spoke softly, kissing the center of her back, laying my cheek there for a moment as my hands kept dipping under her, lingering for too briefly on her breasts then moving up their sides, gone too soon from her.

My words excited her even more and she let out a deeper groan, her hands almost making little fists over her wet head.

"Relax those hands, Bella." I almost ordered her, then I made my voice soft again, "Unclench the fists…good girl. Let the fingers relax…yessss…forget everything…except my hands…and my lips…"I added, kissing a spot on the side of her, near the right breast as she sighed deeply, her body trembling a tiny bit.

She made a little high pitched squeak sigh and I kept kissing around this area. Not well known, this little valley, but very erotic. I moved Bella's body on its side slightly, moving her arm up and diving in for slow, sensual kisses under her arm, down the sides of her breasts, along the ribcage.

"Oh GOD!" she was almost screaming as my fingers held her wrist captive, not letting her squirm out. My legs curled protectively around hers, encoiling them as her body shuddered with hot waves of pleasure. I took a couple small soft bites against her ribs, getting a loud gasp as a response.

Like I said, this area was very sensitive and very stimulating. I loved coming here. Every woman loved it and was surprised at their own reactions when I explored there.

You must move carefully, gently, and slowly…extremely slowly…when awakening a goddess. Especially awakening her for the first time in her life, after twenty years.

Bella's back was all conquered territory now and slick and shiny with hot oil. I lifted my body up and gave her a sensual, tender roll onto her back now, smiling wickedly down into those angelic brown eyes, shiny and wet also as she stared up at me, speechless.

Her breasts were rising and falling with each breath she took and I gave her an unspoken, loving smile, the back of my hand moving along each cheekbone, my fingers curling around and closing the goddesses' gorgeous eyes. Relax, Bella, enjoy. I am still not finished with you yet.

I had to smile when I moved my hands down to her ankles now instead of going right for her breasts. She made this little annoyed growl, peeking at me as I began to make circles on the inner anklebones of her feet.

I gave a little laugh, resisting the urge to tease her a little bit verbally about her wanting my hands on her breasts. I didn't want to make jokes to her tonight, I wanted her to know true pleasure, loving touch, and gentle arousal.

I took more oil into my hands and went up her legs, as I did with the backs of them, as I made my way up to her thighs, I slowly parted them, slicking my fingers firmly up and down, my touch almost going to her waiting little crotch, but not. I repeated this motion over and over and over again, driving her right to the edge, but not going over it.

Her breathing was picking up, quickening, the desire building up more the longer I teased her. She kept waiting for my touch between her legs, but I just kept moving my fingers into the creases of her inner thighs then out again. I wondered how long I could keep this up before she started screaming at me.

My penis was completely raging and hard but I ignored it again, digging my fingers in a little bit harder, moving up and down the sides of her little dark haired pussy.

I saw her eyes clench a bit and she began panting, whimpering now.

"Breathe, Bella." I purred, not letting her know I was paying any attention to her noises at the moment.

"Please…please…" she kept whispering. I just smiled to myself, not crossing the line, just dancing right along its edges.

Her legs were tensing and stretching, writhing between mine.

"Stop, Bella." I gave her a stern warning voice, "You are ruining all my hard work with your squirming. Hold still."

I am a little stinker. I laughed to myself.

She tried to hold still and relax but I knew I was making it almost impossible for her. I began to massage the stomach area and pelvis right above her clit, but ignoring it completely.

Her little fists clenched the pillow her head was laying on and I nearly laughed.

Someone is beginning to awaken…little goddess Bella…you've slept long enough, don't you think, sweetheart?

Stubborn little thing, she still won't ask for it. I told her whatever she wants, all she has to do is ask me. But it's so hard for her. I would make her ask me, order me even.

I moved my oiled hands up her ribs again, working them in and out, making a wing shaped design in the oils. Up along the ribs, swoop down into her torso, then pelvis, almost touching her pussy…but not. Then back up, and down again, very slow…

More whimpering from goddess Bella…poor little thing she is resisting me. She will not win. Trying so hard to be a good little girl. Sex is not dirty and orgasms are not a crime. Come on, Bella, let go.

God, she's so aroused I can smell it…

Alright, my final plateau…the breasts and neck. My fingers got more oil and began to make firm circles around both breasts, one hand on each.

"GOD!" she shouted, licking her lips, her eyes trying to stay closed.

_He's not here…try again, Bella._

I moved my warm wet hands up and down her breasts, kneading them firmly and working them up and down, in slow little circles. I bent my head down and gave her little pink nipples wet licks, circular, then back around the other way. One…then back to the other. My erection was touching her stomach and I'm sure she could feel it but she had other things to focus on right now.

I sucked her right nipple into my wet mouth first, sucking. Wet. Releasing it. Making my oiled hands make the wing pattern up along the sides of her neck, then swooping back down, coming over her breasts. Then back up…and down again. Over…and over….and over.

"Edward!" she gasped and whimpered now.

"Yes, Bella?" I acted like I was unaware of her dilemma.

"It feels so good….feels so good…what…" she panted, opening her eyes a bit at me.

Poor little thing. She doesn't have a clue what's happening. I am so evil.

"Does it?" I smiled, my hands back in her thighs, in and out, just barely touching the dark hair there…but not.

"UUUHHHHH" she arched her back, growling even louder now.

She almost sounded as if she were about to cry. But I didn't stop.

I began moving my wicked fingers under her, digging into her ass cheeks, then curling back into her inner thighs, down past the crotch area, then back again. Over and over again. Horribly slowly. My fingers like sharp claws now.

Almost ready. Her body is right at the brink.

"Edward, please!" she begged, her legs writhing again, "Please…oh God…GOD!"

"Would you like me to make you come, Bella?" I made it easy for her this one time.

"YES!!" she screeched, "YES, PLEASE – YES!!"

"Are you sure?" I teased, almost laughing.

Her eyes opened, so wide and crazed it almost scared me.

"YES I'M SURE EDWARD!!" she hollered now, "PLEASE!! PLEASE!! I'M DYING!!"

At that I had to give a little chuckle. The goddess WANTS to wake up now…badly.

"As you wish." I purred, moving my hot oily fingers to her pussy lips, giving them the same slow massaging I did to the rest of her. Hold on, Bella, I thought internally as she whimpered and cried out a little more.

Her pussy was soaking wet and hot. Wow, she really was enjoying my massage!

I laid down on my stomach and licked my lips, holding her legs apart with my hands on her thighs, shoving them as far open as they would go.

Her voice was grunting and whimpering louder as she peeked down at me, her eyes frightened and curious at the same time.

Don't be afraid Bella…you'll love this.

My tongue worked well at this task. It was sure and strong and very wet as it moved up those moist strawberry lips of hers. I lapped up all the sweet juice I could find and hummed my vibrations of thanks into her quivering weak pussy.

MMMMMMMM is a great thing to do while you're swirling your tongue in and out of a tight little mound of flesh such as this one.

She screamed out loud now, staring blankly at the ceiling as I closed my mouth over and over again over her little pink clit now, then moving my heavy tongue so fast over it from side to side, then up and down…then in circles, wet, hot circles. I have tons of different tricks my tongue can do. I did them all.

"Ohhhh FUCK!!" little innocent Bella screamed, pounding her fists wildly into the pillow her head laid on.

"God…God…God…Edward…Edward…Edward…." She kept gasping and panting and screaming.

Uh oh. It's me VS. God again. I win this little battle every time. Sorry God. You made the instrument, I'm just playing the song.

I am so going to hell someday. Well, if I am, I'm just going to do what I want then and let the chips fall where they may.

I didn't use my fingers here yet, I wanted her to come from my tongue alone.

I was licking and sucking and kissing, twirling my tongue, lapping Then I started to work my tongue in along the folds inside, along the sides of her clit.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" she suddenly squealed.

Eureka ! I feel like Lewis and Clark every time I discover where the treasure is.

"EDWARD!!" she screamed like a wild animal now, bucking and thrashing up and down while I pinned her down, not stopping no matter what she said.

"EDWARD…EDWARD, Edward!!" she kept screeching.

I won.

I pictured God and me arm wrestling and I just slammed his white robed arm down HARD!

I kept licking in the area I had discovered and her screams grew louder and louder. Finally, her legs tensed and began jerking uncontrollably as I kept holding them apart. It was happening.

Then she was growling like a savage again, and I could taste heavy juices oozing from inside her. Screams…no words only unintelligible wild screams.

"MMMMMMM!!" I moaned so loudly I even put her screams to shame. I didn't move my lips and tongue away until she had full orgasm and had already started to come down a bit from it all.

She was panting, her breasts heaving in and out as I finally released her swollen clit from my mouth and began to crawl up beside her, laying my head on her stomach, just stroking her….inhaling her scent…one of the best scents I had ever smelled before and I wasn't just saying that, either. It was true.

My fingers played, making small little designs on her white flesh as her fingers found their way into my hair, clutching it in appreciation as I smiled, kissing her skin where I was laying. I waited for her to regain the ability of speech again, and I now had two fingers moving dizzily around her flat stomach.

Finally, she laughed, tickled by my touch.

"What are you doing there?" she couldn't see me but she could feel it.

"Mice." I informed.

"Mice?" she sounded out of it, and rightfully so.

"Yes." I said, "Two little mice, ice skating on your stomach."

I began making music with my voice to accompany the ice skating routine they were doing across Bella's stomach as she laughed.

"Mice Olympics!" I announced playfully as she laughed harder while I tickled her ribs a little bit.

"No, stop, please…" she asked so I stopped, kissing her belly button, laying my head back down next to it.

"Edward…" she breathed, then stopped and said, poking my back, "Turn around, I want to see your face."

"Wow, one orgasm and you're so demanding suddenly." I smiled, rolling over and laying my face on her stomach, looking at her face now.

"Edward…." She said so softly it wasn't even a whisper and her fingers moved across my forehead, down my eyes, over my nose and along my cheekbones, as if she were blind and reading my face with such affection.

I kissed her fingers as they glided past my mouth, wanting more of her already.

Then my eyes turned up into hers and there were tears in them.

"Bella, what's wrong?" I felt scared and almost sat up but she smiled at me and looked so beautiful I almost couldn't move.

"Nothing, Edward." She breathed, "That was the most…I can't even find a word big enough…to describe how incredible you made me feel. I was on fire, and burning, only it felt so good…and so agonizing at the same time…and then when you…Oh my God…"

I gave a small laugh and smile, relieved that she was alright. I laced my fingers through hers and closed my eyes, still resting my cheek on her hot, shiny stomach, wanting to spend the night right here. I brought her hand to my lips and gave it a deep, strong kiss.

"So I take it to mean that you enjoyed it, then?" I smiled more, looking up and seeing the under side of her breast and playfully leapt up a bit, trying to nip at it.

Sex is fun. I wanted her to know that, too. Laughter and sex go together very well. As long as the woman is not laughing at you while you're trying to have it with her, that is.

"Oh my God, yes I enjoyed it!" she answered, "DUH! I think I was almost coming while you were still massaging me!"

I closed my eyes for a second and smiled contentedly, perfectly happy that I was able to make her first orgasm a great experience.

"Do you know what's even better than your first orgasm?" I asked her.

"What?" she asked, not having a clue but sounding very curious to know.

I opened my eyes and got on all fours over her body as she giggled, my lips kissing hers for a quiet moment.

"What?" she repeated.

"The second orgasm!" I informed with a wicked glint in my eyes, forcing her thighs apart again, and closing my lips over her clit again as she screamed out, her eyes wild and gaping open once more.

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BPOV

"I can't believe you…" I slurred my speech a little as he laid in my arms, his cheek right above my bare breast, "Seven….seven orgasms in a row….my legs are like jello!"

"I knew you'd be multi-orgasmic." Edward sounded like his lips were smiling but all I could see was his strands of wild hair below my face. I kissed his head, truly trying to emit deep love into that kiss.

"You are way too passionate to only come once." He informed, sounding a little tired.

"Passionate?" I tingled at his word.

"Very much so." He said without hesitation.

I felt high and I loved the way it felt. We had not had sex…but I had experienced orgasm. Seven times. And damn it, I loved every single one of them! I never knew it could feel THAT good. What I've been missing all this time! If it wasn't for Edward…I'd probably never have felt it. Jesus Christ, but he is talented !

"You touched me everywhere…" I purred to him as I felt his tongue lick my breast where he was laying.

"Yes, I know." He took my nipple into his mouth, lightly sucking it.

I think I can see stars! Holy shit!

"Just wait until I'm inside you." He murmured, sucking on my other nipple now.

Oh sweet Lord. You mean it will feel _better_ than this?!

We laid there for a little while after that, talking about nothing important. He was good at making me laugh and he never stopped touching me or kissing me or licking me. I really felt like he truly desired me and could not get enough of me.

But he's paid to be this way.

I almost felt a tear come to my eyes but I pushed it away, not thinking about anything that would bring me down tonight. We laid there in silence for a few minutes and then Edward rolled over onto his back beside me on the big bed, saying, "I want you to touch me now, Bella."

I felt afraid now as his angelic eyes found mine. His body was completely nude and laying right here, waiting for me and I knew I could not do to his body what he had done to mine. He would be so disappointed.

"I don't know how to do that fantastic massage thing you did to me…I wish I did!" I confessed.

"It's alright, I don't want all that." He said calmly, his hand stroking the back of my hair, "I just want you to touch me…any way you want, for your pleasure, not mine. I want you to know my body. Explore me."

He smiled and closed his eyes, waiting. He rested his arms at his sides and was as still as a statue. A very perfect and lovely statue.

Smiling to myself, I couldn't deny my hands wanted to go roaming in Edwardville.

"What if disappoint you?" I heard my insecure voice ask in a little sqeak.

His eyes opened and were fierce now.

"You could never disappoint me, Bella." He stated flatly, "Don't ever say that again."

Then he came up and took my face in one hand, kissing me deeply and touching his tongue to mine until I forgot my name again.

So I began touching him. I just did what came naturally to me and began with his sweet face, moving down to that muscular, thick neck. I couldn't help but kiss everything I was touching. He just laid there and closed his eyes, a pleasant look there as I crawled closer to him, taking a chance and straddling him, sitting my naked bottom on his waist.

"Mmmmmm." He smiled, not peeking, "I like where this is going."

He almost reached for my waist but he made his hands stop and go back up to rest near his head, his hands relaxed and open.

I felt proud I had the guts to sit on him like this and that he did not object. I moved my shivering fingers over his pecks, intimidated by how flawless they were.

"This is why you need to touch me, Bella." He kept his eyes closed, "You've never really touched a man like this, have you?"

Then he opened them and looked into my eyes, not trying to make me feel naïve or inexperienced, but as if he wanted to teach me what he knew.

"Not really." I admitted honestly.

"Well then touch away." He closed his eyes, "When your hands stop shaking, then I will touch you some more."

Oh God…I don't think I can take much more of that. My crotch is throbbing as we speak. I think if a breeze blew on it, I would come again…or scream.

So for the next hour, my hands touched him and caressed him. My lips covered him. I had taken my time and explored Edward's chest, his arms, his hands, his legs and adorable feet. I avoided the crotch area for now and rolled him over without a word, moving up the backs of his legs and deciding to be brave, I put my hands on his sweet perfect ass.

Oh God. I'm an ass girl.

"Wow…" I couldn't help but breathe out, moving my hands along its lovely slope, playing my fingers along the little dimples, even being brave enough to squeeze the firm round flesh there.

"Oh my God, Bella." He moaned, "You have great hands."

Wow, I was turning him on? Cool ! Look at me, Bella Swan, playing with a man's butt. And not just any man's butt, but this heavenly piece of sexy right here before me.

"Don't stop, keep going…" his voice sounded so sleepy and dreamy, "Oh…yea. I love it when you grab hard like that."

I had to stop after awhile so I didn't creep myself out but I had to admit, after touching Edward any way I wanted and for doing it for so long, I didn't feel so scared about it anymore. He made me feel so alright with it, because he was so comfortable with it, too. I didn't feel dirty or perverted like I thought I would.

I just felt…good…and free.

I was kissing down his back, my hand softly rubbing carefully over the huge bite mark on his right cheek, wishing my fingers could rub enough care into it so it would vanish and heal.

I thought Edward might have fallen asleep because he was so quiet but then he slowly rolled over and took my hand, kissing it.

"Lesson is not over yet, Bella." Edward reluctantly informed, "You chickened out on this."

And he brought my hand to his penis and I tensed involuntarily, hardly able to look down at it.

"Bella…baby…relax…" he said with a calming tone of voice, "Shhh…it's only skin. Don't be afraid. It's just a part of me, like my arm or foot."

Yea, right.

"I'll help you…trust me." He guided me patiently, moving my hand slowly over the erect, hardness there.

"Right now, he's very hard, thanks to you." He smiled, wincing a little bit as he curled my fingers gently around it, "Come on, Bella, you can look at it. It doesn't bite…"

He began telling me all about his penis and I almost laughed. I was shown the shaft, the head, the balls. Again, the more I looked and let myself touch and hear…the less scary it felt for me.

I was afraid he wanted me to do things to his penis but he said no, not tonight. He told me tonight was just for me, not him. He wanted me to feel comfortable and unafraid with him…and by the time we began to get sleepy, I was.

"I always sleep naked, Bella." Edward said carefully as we began to get under the covers, both completely nude and very happy about it, "Is that okay with you?"

"Yes, very." I replied, getting his smile, "I think from now on, I will, too."

He laid on his side, looking at me as I laid on my side, staring back at him as he took my hands into his, kissing my fingers little baby kisses at a time.

"I am really happy about tonight." Edward said with his bedroom voice, his smoldering eyes dancing over my face, "Have I made you happy, Bella?"

"Yes." I almost said it too loudly, "I feel…so…(I exhaled a breath)…alive. I never knew it could be this wonderful."

I felt tears rimming my eyes but I didn't care about hiding anything anymore. I let them be there and added, "Thank you so much, Edward."

He smiled back at me, his chin creasing a bit as he held me close, gently rocking me a little, "It was all my pleasure, Bella. I _love_ belonging to you."

My eyes closed and I let a tiny little tear escape. Wiping it without him seeing, I sniffed and laid myself back onto my pillow, beside him.

"Can I hold you until you fall asleep?" he asked, whispering it.

My lips smiled happily, as if I would mind that.

"I would love that." I confessed with the same small whisper.

"Yay." He sounded very happy about this and said he loves the spoon position. I didn't know what that was. He laughed, showing me.

He rolled me over, on my side, facing away from him and he curled his body right up along mine, behind me, his arm curled protectively over my bare waist, under the quilt, his fingers resting along my belly button area. I could feel his naked skin on mine and couldn't deny the heat emitting from his body into mine. His lips kissed my back and he straightened, laying his head on his pillow, and then I felt his chest against my back. God, that feels so good. His nose is in my hair.

The sensual opera music played on and in the still blackness, I began to drift off, lulled to sleep by the sound of his breathing and the glorious way his pecks would rise and fall against my back.

See next chapter soon !

Hey, guys! I hope everyone likes that first night between Edward and Bella. Edward did not want to rush in on her and I think he acted like a little prince. Very sweet indeed and he made Bella very very happy. Let me know if you guys agree that he was right to play their first night this way. And don't worry, now that this is out of the way, they can move onto some better nights after this!

Thanks all of you for reviewing, I love you guys !!

WinndSinger


	5. I Rule?

5

Note: To answer the question about Lewis and Clark – no, I didn't mean Lois and Clark.  There were two explorers in the 1900's named Lewis and Clark. I just kind of remembered that when I was writing that line. Sorry for the obscure reference there. I'm weird like that!

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BPOV

I was sitting at my little kitchen counter, writing in my notebook at 8am the next morning. Sleeping with Edward last night had not been the least little bit awkward and that was all because of him.

He didn't smother me all night in the bed and for that I was glad. Once I had drifted off to sleep, he rolled over and took his side of the large bed, letting me sleep undisturbed. So I actually did get some sleep, and I was thankful for that.

I think I was the first one to open my eyes when the alarm clock went off this morning at 7:30 am. I quickly hit the snooze button at the horrid buzzing sound and then I rolled onto my back, peeking over at Edward, hoping it didn't disturb him.

I nearly gasped at how beautiful he was asleep. I didn't even look at his chiseled chest yet. It was his face that captured me. His lips were drawn up in a little pout that reminded me of a little child, stubborn but sweet. His mouth was so perfect and the lips were so full and soft looking it made me want to kiss him all the time.

And his eyes closed drew me in even more. Look at those eyelashes, they're longer than mine! Black in color, so noticeable against his very fair skin, if you looked very fast it almost looked like he wore eyeliner but now in the sun, this close, I could see, even along his bottom eyelid, those amazing lashes. I almost reached out to touch them but decided against that. Edward would just love to wake up being poked in the eye by me, I'm sure.

I smiled, seeing a little stubble on his face and wondered what he'd look like with three days worth of it, his hair longer, to his shoulders. Yes, I already know I have a fascination with the bad boy types.

I have analyzed myself for years, using my own brain as a subject. Now was my first time doing it to someone else.

I was already mad at myself for messing this up. I was close to Edward, too close, already. How can I ask him things about his life or his work and then lay down underneath him at night and not think of the things he'd said?

_I love belonging to you._

Why did that make me feel happy and sad at the same time?

Smiling at him, I looked at him a few minutes longer. I love the way his arms were drawn up under his face, hugging the quilt to himself, turned towards my side, as if he were looking at the back of my head when he fell asleep. Maybe that's just my own wishful thinking.

_Hugging himself_. The way he sleeps said a lot about his mind. I wonder if he's ever been really held, without being naked or after sexual intercourse. Probably not for a very long time, if at all. I know there are always two sides to every story but I found myself hating his mother.

I can see a father being hard and cold but his mother is supposed to love him, nurture him, teach him love. And he is her only child. How could she not love that face? And I'll bet when he was little he was 10,000 times more adorable. I wonder what his voice sounded like back then. And then I imagined a little Edward trying to get his mother's attention and her blowing him off. I wanted to track her down and just slap her.

I know, I sound like a typical shrink, blaming Mommy right away.

Switching gears, I remembered nicer things…

Last night had been so amazing, I was still feeling good even now. My crotch felt much better now, not so super sensitive and not even a little sore, as it was last night. No, now…it just felt extremely happy and I think if it could've given a deep happy sigh, it would have.

I love his eyebrows. They look shaped, as if he does something to make the corner such a sharp point like that. Staring at them now, I marveled at how dark they were in comparison to his skin and hair color. I would think his eyebrows would match his hair, a bronze-ish color. I wonder if he dyes his hair or has it done. It's possible, he's in the entertainment industry. Oh man, listen to me. I make him sound like a corporate mogul.

I wanted to lean over and kiss that cute little mouth he was wearing now, but I'm sure I have morning breath. And we ate shrimp and garlic last night. YIKES! I held my hand over my mouth and turned away from him a little. I have to hide a little toothbrush and glass of water with a basin under my side of the bed from now on. A makeup artist stashed under there wouldn't be such a terrible idea, either.

Then, the alarm rang again and I jumped, lunging over to hit it again with an annoyed smack.

I peeked at Edward and he didn't move a hair. He's a heavy sleeper. I'll bet he's not used to getting up this early, in his line of work. How do I get out without waking him up? Should I shake him or something? This stuff always looks so easy in the movies. The couple wakes up at the same time and cuddle for a few minutes and have clever, witty banter before the man gets up and shows his naked ass to the cameras. Why can't life be as easy as that?

Oh my GOD! I'm naked under here! I almost forgot about that. Although it did feel very nice having my bare skin under the quilt all night. I could see why Edward preferred to sleep this way. It was very natural, very relaxing.

Only now the sun is up and I feel very weird walking around naked. I cringed at myself, ashamed after Edward had gone through such lengths to make me feel comfortable about our nudity. But 12 years of catholic school cannot just be wiped away after only one night, even by someone as talented as Edward.

I hope he doesn't think I'm walking around naked all day now and that he is too. I could never get my school work done.

Today in school I had to let my professor know what my paper would be based on and I'd have to give a little information on Edward. Nothing too deep yet, just some basic info about him, what I think makes him so interesting.

Our professor is Dr. James Collier and he is about Edward's age, I think, around 27 or 28 years old. I pictured his short, cropped blonde hair and icy blue eyes, he always had stubble on his face, too.

Us three girls all had a bit of a crush on him but I had managed to keep myself focused and very professional with him. I knew I couldn't tell him that I was getting orgasms from my subject the night before but I did want to ask him some things privately, which he was always willing to do after class, unlike some professors who made you book an appointment with them.

It was part of our assignment, if we ever got stuck or had questions about how to proceed with our subject, he wanted us to come to him. We are dealing with people, after all, and he didn't want us doing anything to cause anyone harm. He would never let us have a suicidal subject, for instance. We weren't ready for that kind of pressure yet. And if anything like that ever came up, we were supposed to call James or 911 immediately.

Dr. Collier, I should call him, not James. He was always very cool and not stiff like most other teachers. I'm sure I could talk to him and he could give me a little help.

I waited there, laying in bed for a couple minutes more and then knew I couldn't put it off any longer. I had to pee. Slowly, I began to sit up, watching Edward like a hawk the entire time. He didn't move. He sleeps like a dead person. (LOL)

I bit my bottom lip and slipped my body out from under the quilt as if it weighed a ton. I was out, Edward still asleep and I crossed my arms over my breasts, tiptoeing out of the bedroom, my eyes staring at him as I went.

UGH!!! I tripped and fell to the floor like a slab of hamburger. My breasts felt like they popped upon impact and were probably even flatter than they were before! Perfect! What the hell was that? I looked near my feet and saw that I had tripped over Edward's sneakers.

Oh God, please don't wake up, please don't wake up, please, please, please!

I popped my head up like a gopher out of a hole, seeing through my straw hair that half covered my eyes, he was still there, but began to groan lightly in his throat and rolled over onto his stomach now, curling his arms around his pillow, his face still peaceful and content looking.

How is he this comfortable in a stranger's bed?

And in the middle of this, I started to psycho analyze him again.

He's hugging the pillow now. Hugging his mother? Hugging the girl he used to love?

Jesus, Bella, maybe he just likes hugging the pillow and there is no deeper meaning behind it, COULDN'T THAT BE POSSIBLE?!

I had to get out of here now, before he really wakes up. Crawling on the floor fast, I scurried like a mouse to the bathroom, daring to stand now and grabbing my bathrobe, putting it on quickly. God, please tell me he's not really awake and saw me crawling around the apartment naked, please! I'll owe you forever.

While inside the bathroom, as I used the toilet, and brushed my teeth twice and tried to brush my hair down to non-afro size, I almost felt afraid to go back out there. I half expected to see him sitting up in bed, fully awake, laughing at me. I would simply die then and would get gypped out of 13 more days of bliss, which would be just my luck.

I saw a couple of his personal bathroom things here now, his toothbrush – a black and red one, and a spray deodorant.

And I smiled, liking these little personal touches of his, as I went back to my impossible hair.

Damn, I should never go to bed with wet hair, I always look like Don King the next day! Of course, Edward's wet hair just dries and pops into place after he runs his finger through it. DAMN him! Jeez, I'm jealous of Edward's beauty now. Maybe I could be my own subject again. God knows I need the help maybe more than he does.

I heard the TV switch on in the living room outside and I froze, my hands in midair around my head as I listened, my eyes wider now. He's up.

I heard channels being switched and smiled, wondering what he'd choose.

News ? CLICK. No. Good, I hate the news. It's never good.

A workout show? CLICK. No. Good, I hate people who wake up and start working out.

Sponge Bob cartoon? I smiled, waiting for the click again and for the next sounds but it stayed on. I heard the remote touch the table gently and my mouth immediately opened into a horrified oval shape, my brows coming together.

Oh my God, he is watching Sponge Bob?! I covered my mouth, afraid I'd start laughing like the village idiot.

Why is he watching THAT? He knows I'm awake and in here. Doesn't he care what I would think about this? Maybe he's playing with me again. He has that kind of warped sense of humor.

I would rather believe anything else besides the fact that he likes watching Sponge Bob every morning. He's smart, not retarded. But it's still on. I heard movement in the kitchen now. The cabinets opening and closing, the refrigerator door closing. He was going to cook again?

I feel so guilty about this but I can't deny that I like watching him cook. And I love eating his food. He's a great little chef.

My mother never liked to cook much and I'd always have a pop tart or something for breakfast everyday. And now that I lived alone, I hated cooking for just myself. It was depressing.

I would usually eat at the cafeteria or a couple of places around school. Eating alone just sucks and there's no way of sugar coating that. Rosalie and Alice ate with me sometimes, but they lived with their parents nearby and usually ate with them.

It is nice, having someone here with me, I decided. Coming home last night and having someone here to say hello to me really felt good. And Edward's helloes are just phenomenal.

I hoped it wouldn't feel too weird talking to Edward now, after last night. No, I instantly thought, he never makes me feel weird, just good and special…and pretty…and nervous.

"Hey, Gary, where are you?!" Sponge Bob was calling when I decided to take a deep breath and come out. Edward may have to use the toilet and I didn't want him cursing me internally for taking all day while he danced around the kitchen, waiting for relief.

I turned the knob and pulled, trying to open the door in a very cool way and come gliding out, all casually and grown-up.

But, of course, the door is stuck again.

"No." I breathed, shaking, my eyes gaping at the rusty dark brown knob, "Please, no. Not now."

This happens all the time. Crap door, crap doorknob!!

No !!

_Why?!! Why now?! _

God truly hates me. I turned the doorknob all the way and pulled harder, jerking it. Sometimes this works. Of course, now, any illusions I had about entering the living room in a cool way were at the bottom of a cliff, burning in a twisted heap.

The noises of a jerking door, of wood uselessly hitting wood over and over rung loudly through the air as if to call out, 'The raging dork is stuck in the bathroom!'

I can do this. Put some elbow grease into it, girl! Come on! Jerking the knob again, I began making little grunting sounds as I thought it gave way a little bit for a second, but…it didn't.

It was inevitable and unavoidable. But it would now happen. And here he comes….

"Bella?" a deep voice was on the other side of the door, "Are you okay?"

He sounded amused out there, it wasn't obvious, but I heard it.

I braced my right foot against the wall beside the door and demanded it silently now to open or I'd take it off the hinges TODAY!

"I'm okay." I called through the door, even now trying to sound light and adult, "The door just sticks sometimes. I've got it."

Move, you fucker, move NOW! I was mentally talking to the door now, not Edward.

"Okay." He said and I heard him walk away. I listened for snickering or laughter but heard none. All I could hear were Sponge Bob and another cartoon voice, laughing at me.

I felt my mouth snarling now as I yanked with all my body weight, shoving my foot harder against the wall, making little, sharper pulls of the knob now. God, I sound like I'm trying to escape a locked closet, a desperate prisoner.

Panic began to set in, knowing people needed to use the toilet first thing in the morning, I always did. I'm sure Edward wants to get in here and is probably hating my guts right now. The only other place he could use would be the kitchen sink. Oh no, gross!

Every other time this door opens after a few jerks on it! Today, of course, it's going to be stubborn and act like CEMENT!!

I hate my life.

I heard water running out in the kitchen and figured he was doing dishes. Man! How can he run the water first thing in the morning and not have to urinate? Maybe he _is _a robot.

A few more minutes passed by and all I heard from Edward was the sloshing of water and dishes, along with the cartoon he was watching.

I gave in finally, panting and admitting defeat. What would I do now? Call him? God, embarrassing. Knock? No, stupid! But he was clearly not coming after me again on his own so I closed my eyes, letting my face fall into my sore, red hands as I swallowed my pride and made myself call, "Edward?"

The water went off and I heard the padding of his footsteps slowly approaching the door.

"Yes, Bella?" he purred, acting like he had no idea what I wanted.

He can be quite a little creep, I observed.

I glanced at my bright red face in the mirror to my left and closed my eyes.

"I can't open the door, it's too stuck." I forced the words out, wanting to crawl into a hole and die.

"Oh I see." He sounded like he was smiling.

My face turned angry in once second and I felt myself set my jaw.

"Can you _help_ me?" I asked, feeling sick to my stomach now. He was making me ask him for help, knowing how humiliating it is for me. Is this more payback for yesterday's questions…or maybe today's?

"Perhaps." He answered, oozing with power, "Or…I could just let you sit in there all day. That might be fun. You could be my own personal prisoner. But I don't think I could slide any food under this door."

Wow, that does sound pretty good. But, wait, no, I have classes today.

"Edward, please?" I breathed, almost trembling now, his voice really doing things to me, "I have real important classes today."

"Hmmm…" his voice was so smooth, "That is a problem. Poor little Bella…"

I growled in my head. He was playing with me again. I thought he was the toy here, not me. No. He is not a toy, don't say that, I scolded myself. He is just playful and childlike sometimes. I like that part of him…most of the time.

"Edward…" I whined a little now, acting like a four year old myself, "You said you'd be a good little…boy." I changed the word toy to boy, hoping he wouldn't catch that. I would never demean him or call him a toy. I want him to see himself as more than that. He already was more than that…to me.

And that was enough to make him stop toying with me.

"Alright, fair Bella, stand back! I will save thee!" He made me smile as he did an over-the-top prince type voice, as if he was coming to my rescue. He is too cute.

Jerk.

I got back as far as I could, standing in the open shower. There was not much room in here and I really didn't want to be killed by a door flying open.

This should be good, I thought, waiting to see what would happen next.

With one hard kick and the sound of his foot against the wood of the door, it flew open hard, smashing into the wall and making a medium sized hole in the cheap drywall behind it.

I had given a little yelp when the door came flying open, not expecting him to open it so fast. It was REALLY stuck HARD! I used all my might and couldn't budge it. God, I am so weak. I have to start drinking milk.

Edward came in a bit, moving the knob a little towards himself, and peeking behind it, seeing the white powder on the floor, the gaping black hole staring back at him.

God, he kicked the door open with one kick…and he has no shoes on. I am so turned on right now.

"Ooops." He cringed a little, looking at the hole and then to me with apology in his eyes, "I'll fix that, Bella."

I couldn't help but smile at him.

"Don't worry about it." I stayed where I was, mesmerized by the sight of him standing there only wearing a cotton pair of tight gray shorts.

He looked at me and his eyes sunk deeply into mine.

"Are YOU alright?" he asked, concerned about me now.

"Yea, fine," I felt my cheeks flush a little, "I just always get stuck in here with that damn door. Thanks."

I was so embarrassed and could only imagine what he was thinking about me. I'll bet non-geeks only pay him $10,000 for two weeks of his time.

"Well, I have saved you, fair Bella." He strode in, doing his regal voice again, his eyes burning into mine, he was nose to nose with me when he asked, "What prize shall you bestow upon me?"

You can have anything of mine you want, I almost said, if I had anything worth getting. But I had a strong feeling he wasn't asking for any THING.

God, his eyes are deadly I noticed again as they worked their spell on me. Maybe he slipped something special into my eggs yesterday and now whenever he's near me I turn into a quivering heap of stupid.

I didn't know what else to say except to squeak out, "A kiss?"

I cleared my throat, not wanting to sound like Mr. Bill.

"Mmmmm…yes." He smiled and opened his mouth, closing it over my lips, his one hand leaning on the shower door, the other on the tile wall.

I was so glad I brushed my teeth and tongue twice. But, even though he didn't brush yet, he tasted wonderful. How does he DO that?!

He kissed me over and over again and my head was becoming dizzy. I didn't know it at the time, but my body moved back, still standing in the shower, until my back was against the tile.

Not letting me get away from him, he followed me into the shower, stepping in and pulling the shower door closed behind him, all while still kissing me with expert style.

I heard my voice whimper, hoping he didn't turn the water on us.

"Stop trying to get away from me." He purred, kissing me a little harder, "I don't like it."

"Sorry." I breathed, unable to get away from him anymore, and not wanting to.

His arms rested on the tile walls at my sides as his tongue gently probed in, moving softly at first.

I kissed him back, doing what came natural with my lips, hoping it was feeling good for him, too. I am so damn inexperienced. I hate that.

Then he actually whimpered!! WOW, I made HIM whimper?! I rock !

"Bella…" he whispered, his right hand moved down and pulled my bathrobe belt, opening the robe as I clenched my fists at my sides, never knowing what to do with my hands. Damn hands!

"Here." He seemed to read my mind and took my hands into his, shaking them out as he grinned at me, still nose to nose with me, "Touch me, Bella."

He brought my hands to rest on his lower back while he went back to kissing me. I felt my hands move up and down his back. He is so warm and soft, his skin is like a baby's. Not the way it looks, the way it FEELS, only tight coiled muscle beneath the silky soft surface.

It took only seconds for my hands to wander down to his shorts, stroking down the firmness of his buttocks, my fingers curling inward a bit.

His voice moaned into my open mouth as his right hand moved down my jumbled up stomach, his fingers stroking softly up and down my clit again. I gasped, opening my eyes. No, not again…not right now…no more…it needs rest! Doesn't it?

My body immediately remembered those fingers and woke right up, smiling happily and leaping up and down like an eager puppy wanting its Master. But it was all happening inside me.

"Ummm…" I heard my voice talking, even though I didn't want to be talking, "Don't you have to go to the bathroom?"

WHAT?!!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!!!! I AM A FRIGGING RETARD!!!!!

He smiled and squinted slightly but kept kissing and licking my lips.

"Not at the moment." He murmured, kissing me quickly again, "But thanks for asking."

"Sorry." I was saying again, "I don't know what's wrong with me." KISS.

"I think I was dropped on my head as a baby." I was talking into his mouth.

KISS.

"Nothing is wrong with you." He kissed me again. We were sliding slowly down the tile wall, towards the bottom of the tub. Oh no, what is he doing?

"Ummm…Edward…what time is it?" I was talking again.

"Shut up, Bella." He demanded softly, devouring my lips again.

That is a very good suggestion. Shut up, Bella. Yes. I will do that now. Thank you, Edward.

Before I knew it, I was laying on the porcelain and his lips were traveling down my neck, my robe opening more. His hand on my breast, squeezing, cupping…his mouth wetly moving over my nipple as his hand held it helplessly in place.

"Uhhhh…" I looked up at the ceiling, heavily breathing again. I was his slave.

He is the most dangerous creature of all. A predator after my heart, already digging his fangs inside me. Everything about him lures me in – his face, his voice…even his _smell_. As if I could tell him no….as if I could fight him off…or would want to. Worse than a killer…he was designed to seduce. And he had conquered every other woman before me, more experienced, more worldly than I. He _is_ going to kill me. He is going to break my heart.

He was now conquering and seducing ME, so easily…_too_ easily.

I have never wanted a man this much…in my life. I want him now.

And he told me to trust him. I so want to…but something inside me keeps saying…"Don't."

But even now, with my mind knowing all this, and after only one night, I can't control my thirst for him…I want him, I need him, I CRAVE him. He is like a drug to me…one I itch and suffer physically without…he is like my own personal brand of heroin. I hated being in school yesterday without him and today it's going to suck even more. Time without him was pointless and cruel.

I don't know if I can control myself. I am under his control now. I am caught in his trap. He has me.

I can't read his mind…and he won't let me in it. I wish he would tell me what he's thinking. I'm so afraid that any second now, he'll just disappear, a sinful, marvelous dream that poofs up into smoke as soon as the sun has risen.

"You have no idea…how long I've waited for you." My voice panted lovingly as his eyes opened and soaked deeply down into my bones, then moved up to my glistening eyes. My legs were open and he was laying between them…and I felt his body harden against me.

If he asks me to explain that…I don't even know if I can. I just FEEL it.

After a silent pause his voice curled like heat around me.

"You don't have to wait anymore, Bella." He said in a low voice, "I am here…and I want you. I want you so badly."

I didn't know what to say. In my brain things were moving a mile a minute, trying to find a way out of going to school today.

Edward looked at where we were and looked at me apologetically, "But perhaps this is not the right time and place."

I felt the tears in my eyes thicken as he slowly moved back to a standing position, bringing me up with him, gently closing up my robe and tying a single knot with the belt. He smiled down at me and kissed my forehead.

"It's alright, Bella." He promised with his voice, "I will wait for you. When you are ready, I'll be there. We have plenty of time. Sorry about…that. (he motioned with his head to the shower floor)…we always seem to wind up in the shower. There must be some magic in here."

_There is magic wherever you are._

God, I am falling fast. I think I'm already in love with him. I am such a tool.

"Come on, I'll make you some breakfast." He led me out of the shower, watching me step out so I wouldn't kill myself. He kept holding my hand, leading me into the kitchen, sitting me on the stool.

In my mind, for a second, I was at the club Fire and he was leading me to that private room.

Placing a kiss on the top of my head, he went to get me a glass of orange juice, placing it down in front of me.

"Drink." He smiled seductively and turned away, putting the juice in the fridge, and then he came back, placing my notebook down next to my drink, a pen on top of it.

"Do your homework and I'll be right back." Edward was now moving to the bathroom, "I was fine until you _SAID_ it!"

Oh, _now_ he has to pee. I laughed to myself a little, hoping he didn't get locked in there now. But he was smart enough to leave the door ajar an inch. I tried not to listen to the water hitting water, opening my notebook and trying to focus my mind now, hoping I wasn't so far gone that I couldn't do my work anymore.

Now I am sitting here, listening to Edward brush his teeth and my hand began to write:

_I love your hair._

_I love your skin._

_I love touching you._

_I love pleasing you._

_I love belonging to you._

Where did this come from? My hand was like acting on its own, writing all the things he had said to me last night.

Bella, do you see a theme here? Shit.

He was coming back and I slammed my book shut, tossing my pen away from me, onto the counter.

My brain wanted me to be mad at him when he came back to the kitchen. But as soon as I saw him with his bare chest and perfect little ass stuffed into those soft looking shorts…and the perfect bare feet…I couldn't do it.

Studying him is getting more complicated than I thought. I was learning all kinds of new things about me as well.

"What time do you have to go today?" Edward asked, unsure of my plans.

"Oh, in an hour." I peeked at the wall clock over the stove, "I will probably get home around 2 o'clock this afternoon."

"Alright then I have to move my ass then." He said, playful and light again, leaning over the counter on his arms, looking at me, "What would you like to eat this morning?"

I gave him a smile, my bad girl side emerging again.

"Wowwwww…" Edward purred with a smile, "Look at that evil smile! I am very impressed! And after only one night ….you fascinate me."

I bit my bottom lip and blushed, unsure why his words made me feel so good.

"Toast is fine, if that's okay." I made it easy for him today, I really wasn't very hungry. Finding out I'm the biggest sucker on earth is doing things to my stomach.

"That's all?" he looked a little disappointed.

I nodded, smirking at him.

"Do you feel alright?" he asked, now looking concerned, taking the bread out of the refrigerator.

"Are you kidding?" I scoffed, "I feel wonderful. I'm gonna be a wreck today in school thinking about last night."

He smiled, putting the bread into the toaster slots, pressing it down with the lever.

"You're gonna think about me in school today?" he looked surprised and happy about this.

"Definitely." I admitted, drinking my juice.

"I'll think of you, too, Bella." He bit his own bottom lip now, looking at me, waiting for the toast, "I haven't had that good a time in a long time."

I smiled, loving the sound of his voice and loving every single thing he uttered.

Trying to get my professionalism back, if it wasn't too late, I came back with, "Well now that we've had our good time, when I come home, we have an appointment. Don't be late."

The toast popped up and it was nice and light, exactly how I liked it.

"Butter on it?" he asked me.

"Please." I grinned, watching him get the butter and start to spread it on the hot toast, "Did you hear what I said…about our appointment?"

"Yes I heard you." He said in a friendly voice, "I will be here, on time, on the couch like a good little patient, Dr. Bella."

He placed the toast down in front of me and grinned, going over to wash last night's dishes now. I really hate seeing him doing these things for me but damn it, I do love seeing him wash a dish. I have no idea why, either. It excites me.

I have to make a note of that.

Is he making fun of me when he says Dr. Bella? I wish I knew. I would have to address this today, amongst other things.

"Umm, Bella?" he looked up and kept washing, "I have small plans today, nothing much, just a bachlorette party that starts at 12. It should be over by 1 or 1:30, but I will come right home afterwards. I take the train so, just in case I am a few minutes late, I don't want you to think I'm blowing you off or anything. Is that alright?"

He always asks me if everything is alright. Like he's afraid of me or something. He really is working with the mindset that I DO actually own him and that bothers me. And he is always to easily bending to my wants, and his 'yes, Bella' every time I say something to him. He is so obedient, like a pet and that disturbs me too. How am I going to get through to him? I have to think this over in school today and get that advice from Dr. Collier.

I decided to try something here, even though we weren't in a session right now.

"Edward…" I tried to keep my voice pleasant, "What if I told you…no, it's not alright? I want you to stay here all day and not move from that chair. Would you do it?"

"Yes." He said without even thinking about it, licking the butter off his thumb as he put the butter away, "Do you want me dressed or undressed?"

I let a breath out that told him I was astounded. My mouth hung open in shock at him. But he looked like everything was perfectly normal.

"What?" he asked, smiling a little.

I couldn't smile back this time. I felt such a feeling of pity for him that I couldn't help.

"That would be 5 hours, Edward, sitting in a chair, not moving." I informed, spelling it out further for him.

"That's easy." He shrugged, "I have no problem with it, if it's what you want."

"Well I do." I heard my voice reply, "I shouldn't be allowed to tell you to do something like that – no one should. You should tell me that you're going to do what you want to do and that I can't order you around. You would lose money if I told you not to go to your appointment today. You would get in trouble with your boss. Doesn't that bother you?"

"It doesn't matter." He shrugged, "I belong to you now and you rule what I do. If you tell me to do something, I'm going to do it. My feelings don't matter here. I'm here for _you_, Bella."

"I _rule_?" I couldn't even finish the sentence, staggered.

I had to calm down, I had to maintain a calm façade no matter what he said. That's the heart of being a psychiatrist, not to react so strongly that you alienate your patient. But I had broken the rules. I care about him and I was mad at him for being like this, for saying these things. But I should want him to say what he's thinking, even if it IS insane.

"Your toast is getting cold, Bella." He tried to change the subject.

"Wait." I looked at him, putting a clean wet dish in the drying rack beside him, "Edward, listen, I don't want you to act anymore, okay? I want you to be yourself during our two weeks. From now on, if you feel something, if you don't like something, or have something on your mind you want to say, I want you to say it and do it. Can you do that for me?"

"What do you mean?" he looked confused, "_Act_?"

And yes, Sponge Bob was still playing but he wasn't paying attention to it so I let that go for now.

"I know that you must play a certain part when you do what you do for a living." I began nicely, staying relaxed, "And maybe after awhile, it becomes who you are…like you get used to it and pretty soon, you don't even have a will of your own anymore. You know? Like…what are YOUR opinions? What do YOU like? Like, for example, last night, when you went to kiss my foot, why did you do that?"

"It was pretty." He looked at me, answering honestly without a pause.

"And you stopped. Why?" I asked, taking a bite of my toast so he wouldn't get upset.

"You told me to." He said, sounding so innocent to my ears all of a sudden.

"But if you wanted to, why couldn't you just say, no Bella, I want to kiss your feet and I will?" I asked.

"No." his eyes looked harder now, "I don't want you to be angry with me."

"But if you—"

"And besides that, you _own_ me." He cut in, adding another reason in.

"Edward, you are a person." I kept cool even though I wanted to yell at him and shake him, "No one can OWN anyone. You are not _owned_ by me. You are helping me out with my paper and you are also helping me out with…other….things. But I don't _own_ you, Edward. I would never act like I did, either. I know a lot of people have treated you that way. But you must know it's not really _true_ that I _own_ you. Don't you?"

"I understand what you're saying, Bella." His voice sounded wise now suddenly, "And I appreciate the sentiment behind that. But you forget one thing. You have paid me twenty thousand dollars. For 13 more days, you DO own me. If you tell me to sit, I'll sit. If you tell me to eat dog food, I will. If you hurt me, I will still stay here. I've sold myself to you, Bella. I have lost any say I have in myself. That's what it means being a wh--"

He stopped himself but I knew what he was going to call himself. I had lots of work to do with him. I don't think I am good enough to rescue him. My first patient. My first love. Yes, damn it, I love him. I am such a moron. How did I fall in love in one day? Oh yea, seven orgasms.

"Don't be angry with me, please?" he almost pleaded, his eyes doing the same. He was finished with the dishes and dried his hands.

God, listen to how scared he is that I'm angry with him. He wants to please everyone. He is terrified of not being approved of. That's from his parents. Never getting their time or approval, he is so afraid of the same happening with really anyone who he comes across in his life. And with that means, he would do anything they said as long as they showed him their praise and appreciation. Edward… I wanted to cry.

"I don't want to fight with you, Bella." He was walking slowly towards me, coming around behind me. His arms came around me and held me close to him. Right under my chin, his muscular arms folded over me like angels' wings. His lips touched my temple and he said, "I will answer all your questions from now on, I promise. I will try. But I'm afraid of how you'll see me once you know all about me. I will look ugly to you."

"No you won't, Edward." I gently touched his arms with my hands, rubbing them, "You're beautiful. You'll never be ugly to me."

His lips kissed my cheek so deeply and he moved his hands down my arms, entwining his fingers into mine, resting his chin on my shoulder.

He didn't talk for a long time and I would have to leave for school soon. I wasn't angry with Edward, I just wanted him to stop seeing himself as a thing. A toy, a slave, a dancer. It would take time, a lot longer than 2 weeks to make him see that. But I only have two weeks.

I hated thinking of Edward leaving me and going to belong to some other bitch who'd make him eat dog food and kneel naked in her doorway. Mostly because, I knew he would do it if she paid him to. I wanted to know how he got into this life, what changed him into what he is today, what pain crushed his spirit so badly.

I had to start rolling up my sleeves and getting to work. Hard questions had to be answered. I didn't have time to NOT ask them to spare his feelings because I was falling for him. Even if he gets angry with me, I have to try to help him and break through his walls.

If I failed and anything horrible happened to him at the hands of someone, I could never forgive myself.

"Alright, Edward." I kissed his arm, "Two o' clock is our appointment. If you're late, that's fine. But try to be on time."

He let me stand up and get my own backpack. I put my notebook and pen inside it, zipping it up.

"Go to your appointment today." I turned to him, looking him in the eyes. He looked so fragile suddenly, "And we'll talk when I get home. Alright?"

Then he smiled with relief. Is that because I'm not angry with him?

"Yes, Bella." He agreed, using his trademark phrase, "Thank you."

I wasn't sure what he was thanking me for but I said, "You're welcome," anyway.

"See you later." I almost walked out the door but then turned around, seeing his face watching me.

"Come here." I smiled at him, unable to resist that face.

He came up to me, smiling, putting his hands on the sides of my face and before his lips descended upon mine, he purred, "You remembered."

"Like I would FORGET to kiss _you_ goodbye." I said, feeling his lips, so perfectly wet and soft, smooth like hot water. He tastes soo good.

He gave me a deep, earth shattering kiss this morning. I would have to lecture him more often before I left.

Finally, he released me, probably hoping we were still friends. I had to wait a second for my eyes to stop shivering before I began to move out the door.

Edward looked like he was trying not to laugh at me and I wondered why.

"Have a good day, Bella." He smiled from ear to ear.

"You too." I smiled up at him, wondering what his problem was, "See you later, doll face."

He looked down as I left and then I heard a little snicker escape his lips.

I decided to ignore that and kept walking down the hall, not hearing the door close yet.

"I can't…" I heard his deep buttery voice mumble to himself and I turned, afraid he meant he can't stay with me anymore. Maybe I had gone too far with what I said. I was ready to start begging when he was walking up to me.

"Bella?" he put his hands on my shoulders.

"Yes?" I frowned, confused.

His smile showed again and he tried to stop doing it, holding in a laugh I could tell.

"What?"

"Don't you think…you should wear something else to school?" he asked, keeping a semi-straight face.

I looked down and saw my short little pink care bears bathrobe, almost open in front with the single knot tie very loose.

"OH FUCK!" I shouted, not believing myself and my missing BRAIN.

Edward burst out laughing, following me as I raced myself into the apartment. I even almost shut the door on him as he tried to cross the threshold to come in but he just kept laughing, falling to his knees, holding his stomach as I slammed the door to my bedroom to get dressed.

"Now he decides to be his own little person." I grumbled, hearing his laughter becoming louder out there. I smiled, laughing too. Hearing him cast its spell over me and hating it, I was laughing harder, too.

Trying to talk between laughs, Edward was panting, saying, "Your psych teacher would've loved to see you….come to school that way….I'm sure…"

"Shut up." I laughed, throwing a pillow at his face.

"Your cute little knees…" he kept laughing, out of breath, "And a care bear on the back of your robe! In a college!"

His laughter was suffocating him and I was glad.

When I came out of my room in jeans and a t-shirt, he was laying face down on the floor, still hysterical. I think I even saw his eyes tearing up.

"Wait, Bella WAIT!" he grabbed my leg as I tried to walk past him, trying to quiet his laugh.

"What you silly little house elf?" I randomly called him, my bag on my shoulder.

"Was that Grumpy Bear on the back ?" he burst out laughing again.

Smiling, I jerked my leg free and joked, "Maybe I change my mind about you being yourself if this is what you're like! Go back to being your little obedient self!"

I was in the hallway while Edward kept laughing and he was calling, "WAIT BELLA, WAIT!!"

"What?" I spun around, half smiling at him as he now laid on his bare back, in my open doorway, holding the door open a bit.

"I'll miss you." He smiled, sounding very serious now, even though he was still smiling and his eyes glistened.

"I'll miss you too, you dope." I grinned, not wanting to, walking away, the giggles of Edward Cullen sending me away with a smile on my lips and a laugh in my heart.

Maybe I can help him after all. Please God, let me help him.

I rushed to class, hoping I could get some answers there from Dr. Collier. I tried to get my brain to work now that I wasn't near Edward. It seemed on DUH mode whenever I was in that man's presence. I had to focus.

See next chapter soon!

Love WinndSinger

PS – Thanks to all of you who like this story and are reviewing!! You are all so great and I promise to try and do a good job on this story! Let me know how you are all liking it so far !

Thanks again!!


	6. Count me in as one of your Friends

6

*Notes: Thanks first to all you guys for the wonderful reviews! I am so happy everyone likes this story so much! I love writing it and there will be lots of twists and turns that I hope you all enjoy.

Yes, James Bella's psych teacher is James from Twilight. Whether he will be evil or not remains to be seen. No, you have to wait for that. Sorry!

And I am so impressed by you, too, latuacatante4him. Very good, you caught that little hint I hid in there about Edward's 3pm phone call. More about that will be coming up but I just wanted to say good job spotting that! I thought no one would notice it. Good eye!

I hope no one gets bored during the therapy session chapters. But that is where we will see more of Edward's story and how he became the way he is. Bear with me through those chapters and the ones during Edward's time will more than make up for any boring parts. But I am working hard to keep it fun and interesting. If I go wrong, please review and let me know. Thanks !

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BPOV

Class is over now and I'm standing here at Dr. Collier's desk, letting him look over a list of questions and things I want to discuss with Edward. James is saying nothing right now, he is looking over my work and I am counting the seconds until I can see Edward again.

I looked at the clock over his head on the wall. 1:06pm. Edward is half naked somewhere right now, in a room full of horny women. They're probably groping his body in the most disgusting ways. God, I'm jealous.

James began to make a couple notes in my book, and began talking.

"You should ask him if there's ever been any sexual abuse in his past." He said as he wrote, not looking up at me yet, "Also, any substance abuse…drugs, alcohol…something that helps him cope with what he does. Does he do women AND men? Any homosexual activities?"

Oh my God. I am feeling sick just hearing him tell me to ask Edward these things. And do I want to hear the answers to these questions? I wish I had the guts to tell James the whole story with Edward and I and ask for his advice. Although, he'd probably tell me to get my money back and ask Edward to leave and just study him in a professional way. My grade would be screwed, not to mention my life if Edward left now.

"You okay, Bella?" James made eye contact with me now.

"Yea, fine." I smiled and perked myself up, acting like I was just concentrating.

"One other thing I was curious about…" I cleared my throat, "He says things like I love your hair, I love your skin, I love, I love, I love all the time. I figured that means he is most likely just saying all those things women want to hear, right? Like, he probably doesn't mean it when he says those things to women."

James smirked at me and looked across the room.

"Probably not." He replied, confirming my suspicions, "But he might be so far gone that he actually BELIEVES what he's saying, but he loves _everyone_. He has probably grown used to saying those lines and making those faces that make women _believe_ he's sincere that now…he doesn't know _what_ he loves, really. He loves it _all_ because he _has_ to. To survive in his life, he has to find _every_ woman attractive, he has to smile at _all _of them, let them touch him, make them believe that he loves their attentions. You should ask him about that, but I will bet he falls under the category of not realizing that he's even doing it. It's become ingrained into his personality."

"Wow." I felt tears in my eyes and blinked them back. Not now.

"I don't know if I'm good enough to help him." I admitted, looking down at my opened notebook, "I want to. He's such a sweet person, really."

"You can only do so much, Bella." James said to me with understanding in his voice, "You're a student but…after you have done what you can, you can recommend some doctors that are brilliant. I'll give you their names. This Edward can go see them if he chooses to. But it is his choice. He may not want to. But your assignment is not to _help_ anyone. You're not ready for that, Bella. Just study what you see and write about it. Don't try to do anything. You could cause more damage than good. But you are good, Bella. This is a complicated person you've chosen to work on but I believe you can do it and do it right. But I also know you're very caring. You must turn that off here, Bella. Do not get too involved with him. And if anything goes wrong or if he starts to act weird or creepy in any way, call me. You have my number, still?"

"Yes, it's in my cell." I nodded. Every student has his number in case of an emergency with their subject.

"Good." He looked over my notes again and asked, "And your questions are good, too. Is there anything else you want to ask me?"

I had lots more to ask him but that would mean telling him about my relationship with Edward, if that's what you call it when you pay someone to give you orgasms. I was on my own and I knew it. I even didn't know if I could trust Rosalie and Alice with this information. I love them but I feel dirty telling them about us. Those moments are private, only for Edward and myself.

"Well, I was also going to try that word association exercise you told us about." I informed.

"Good, good!" James' eyes lit up a bit, "I think you'll be surprised what you can find out from just one word. Let me know after you do it what you got."

"I will." I smiled a little, "Thank you, Dr. Collier. I appreciate your help."

"Anytime for you, Bella." James picked up his leather briefcase off his desk, about to walk out behind me, "Have a good day and see you tomorrow."

"Okay. Bye." I grinned and walked out of the empty classroom, rushing to meet my girls for lunch in the cafeteria.

EPOV

I always wonder what these cab drivers think when I'm sitting in the back seat, dressed as a cop. Maybe that my police cruiser broke down or that I got my car stolen? He probably doesn't even give a fuck, why do I care what he thinks?

"You can drop me off here." I said firmly, not wanting to be dropped off right in front of the house. I paid my fare, giving a generous tip and put my mirror cop sunglasses on. The cab pulled over, stopped and I got out, placing my policeman hat over my hair, hiding it's tousled, gelled appearance.

I have seen some other dancers' cop uniforms and most of them are really cheesy. Mine is not. I have a real uniform, bought from a true police uniform supply company.

Dark navy blue pants, the leather belt that held gun, flashlight and nightstick, the powder blue shirt with the real NYPD patches on the sides of my long sleeves. The navy blue tie, the golden pins that go on my collar that bear four letters, NYPD. I had to admit, I loved looking this way. I felt almost like a cop, like a hero. But I'm not a hero, I'm the bad guy. Impersonating an officer. Wearing oil and body glitter and a g-string under this noble outfit. Yes, I know, I am going to hell. Tell me something I don't know.

Hell, I even have a real badge in a leather holder in my back pocket. I have the whistle, I even have a real gun, unloaded of course, but who knows that?

I hated to ever look fake when I was doing a job and women appreciated that attention to detail. Looking at me now, you couldn't tell that I was just a stripper playing the part of a cop. I looked the part completely. All I was missing was the police car. Oh well, maybe Santa will deliver on that wish someday.

Maybe I'll wear this getup back to Bella's today and scare her a little. That would be fun, if she doesn't freak out or anything.

God, she's a lot of fun. I felt myself smiling as I walked a couple more blocks to the house I was due at soon. I don't know when I've laughed like that last but once I started, I couldn't stop. And then she looked so cute, pretending to be mad at me, yelling at me even. But I know she's not mad at me.

She is just…sad for me. And I can see that sometimes when she looks at me. She doesn't understand…and how could she? She's not a free and easy whore like I am and I'd never want her to be. And I will answer her questions if it means I can stay and sleep beside her and smell her hair and worship her body as it was meant to be worshipped. She is just starting to bloom and it is lovely to behold…for me.

Last night was amazing for me, not so much because I showered her and massaged her and pleasured her. All that WAS great and I enjoyed it all too much…but there was something more though. I don't know what it is but I like being around her.

I like talking to her, even if it's during those school therapy sessions she insists on us having. I wanted to tell her to give up on me, that I'm not worth helping, but she would never listen. She needed a grade on this so I will play along and tell her some juicy things about my past, but nothing I want to keep private, and help her get a good grade.

Then when my two weeks are over, I can go my way and she will go back to her life, hopefully a bit more confidant and experienced to know what she wants in a partner and be able to boldly go after it and enjoy her sensual side.

I will really miss her for awhile after this job is done. But I don't feel like I'm doing a job with her, I feel like I'm at my girlfriend's house hanging out. I had forgotten what that's like.

Don't get attached Edward, I scolded myself, don't get too involved. You did your romantic first night thing, now you have to see what's next.

Sexual intercourse is next. I almost took her this morning in the dry shower. Caught up in the moment of rescuing her from her little prison, I almost lost control of myself. Thank god she couldn't shut up, it made me wake up and realize what I was doing.

I had to wait for her to ask me for it. She is not great at saying what she needs and wants. God, she was trapped in the bathroom for 15 minutes today and wouldn't even ask me to help her. Stubborn. Willful. Challenging.

She didn't even say anything to me about Sponge Bob being on. She holds her tongue too much. I want her to tell me what to do, I want her to say what she wants.

For a minute I thought a miracle had happened and she had found her voice when she said she didn't want me to go to work today and to sit in the chair until she got home. Finally, something I could do that she had demanded and wanted! But she was just testing me to see what I would say.

Does she want me to get upset and yell and throw things? Maybe that is what she wants. I am so unsure with her at times. She is very difficult for me to read. I could ask her more today during my session with Dr. Bella.

One minute, she looks pleased with me, then the next minute, she looks sad or sorry for me, then she turns very quiet. That is the one I like least, when she says nothing. I am always afraid what's going on in that head of hers.

I know she wants to change me and take me out of the life I'm in but it's just impossible. I have accepted that. But she is very caring to try and get through to me. She really touched me when she was telling me that no one owned me, and I should be myself and stop acting. I really hope things don't go really off track and I'd have to leave the job early, I would hate that.

It's very different, being her toy part time then talking to her telling her all my secrets the rest of the time. How can I tell her private things that keep me sane while I work and then do them with her after I've told her all about it? It would hurt her and ruin the illusion and romance and I NEVER do that, not to anyone.

Not even to Raven and that lady is a killer in training. I should tell Bella about Raven, those are some true stories that even scare the shit out of ME. It would make a compelling chapter in her paper and throw her off the trails of my past hopefully.

I really do want to help her get a good grade…but I am not about to tell her my real story. I hate being pitied and there are certain doors I will never let her in, no matter how hard she pounds on them. They are all I really have left that are just mine.

This is the house, 2435 Agnes Lane. I can see cars parked all along the entire street. Yep, this is the bachelorette party. Only I hope they didn't think I was just going to come to the door and announce myself as the stripper. One thing Victoria taught me is acting and being different from the herd, putting my own special signature on things. This would be no different.

I checked my police radio and it was still up and working. Good.

I went to the back door not the front door, my fake gun in my hand.

I could hear a little music playing inside and I could see lots of women there, gifts, food. I grinned to myself, loving this part.

Quietly, I approached the back door and tried the knob. Open! _They are mine_.

"POLICE !! EVERYBODY ON THE FLOOR!!" I shouted in my most masculine cop voice, scaring the shit out of every living thing in the room.

Screams belted out of every single woman as I cocked the gun, my finger resting on the trigger as I took two more steps in, reeking of authority and power.

"NOW, I SAID, ON THE FLOOR!! ALL OF YOU!! GET DOWN AND STAY DOWN!! _FACE DOWN_!!" I commanded them, yelling louder as they all scrambled to the carpet like bank hostages.

I heard a couple of them giggling, knowing who I was and what I was there for, but most had no idea and were whimpering, looking afraid and nervous.

"QUIET!!" I barked, getting the silence I ordered.

Okay, about 30 women I noticed as I walked in further, standing over the bodies below. Good, a big number.

"Don't MOVE, any of you." I scowled, stepping around the still bodies. Younger girls, older women, thin, larger, they were all here, as always. And I would please them all, as always.

"What's going on here?!" I demanded, still wearing my sunglasses for effect.

"YOU!" I reached down with one hand and yanked gently on a blonde head of hair, raising her face up to me. She was grinning but her face was very pink, "What's going on in here?" I repeated, seething.

"A bachelorette party." She said in a little tiny voice.

"A WHAT?!" I frowned, acting as if I didn't believe her.

"A bachelorette party." She repeated and another woman said it too, beside her.

"WAS I TALKING TO **YOU**?!" I shouted at the one beside her and she began laughing, but I stayed in character.

"No, officer," the lady I yelled at replied obediently.

"Bachelorette party. You must think I'm stupid or something." I sneered in disbelief as I stood up, letting go of the woman I'd been interrogating. I am in control of the entire group, my gun still in my hand, pointed up at the ceiling for the moment.

"Which one of you is Anna Nickles?!" I asked, not yelling anymore but still very agitated. I was looking for my bride.

"Here." I heard an even smaller voice say from across the room and a couple other girls around the area also peeked up and were pointing at a brunette laying on her stomach.

"WHERE?" I barked, moving closer to them.

"Here." A young woman's voice said again, raising up her hand a little and then I found her. She was peeking up at me, her head turned towards me slightly, looking very nervous.

"You?!" I looked at her and asked. She nodded and I gently grabbed her long curly hair, not really pulling it, just for effect, "Get up!"

Her friends giggled and watched as I holstered my piece and grabbed a dining room chair, bringing it to the middle of the living room where all my prisoners were laying there, but all watching.

I put the chair down hard and moved her to it, shoving her down and barked, "SIT. You are in _so_ much trouble, Anna."

More high pitched giggles…I was doing well so far. The poor bride was absolutely petrified, clearly not knowing what to expect from me next.

I kicked her feet apart roughly. She wore jeans and a nice blouse, very attractive, in her late 20's I would guess. She knows I'm her stripper now but I was not like a usual stripper. I play my part to perfection.

"Give me your hand." I went around behind her, and took out my real police handcuffs, doing it just as a cop would do, taking her right hand, bringing it behind her and slapping the cuff onto her wrist. She screamed out, surprised by this, and I got the other hand, bringing it back, slapping that cuff on too.

The entire room was now howling and laughing and laying on their stomachs watching intently. A couple of them called, "ANNA!! WOOOO!!!"

"Oh my GOD!!" Anna squealed, laughing, a bright shade of neon pink.

Poor Anna looked like she was going to have a heart attack. But all brides to be are like this. Not used to such things. About to be married, about to start a family of their own, about to see their handsome husband slowly turn into a couch potato, watching his hair fall out, watching his stomach get larger and larger. Poor women. They all had no fantasy in their lives, sadly, which is why I have such a high paying job.

I would be in her memories now, if I do my job right, when that happens to her.

Behind her, on the dining room table, I sat my "radio" down. There was an ipod in there and would play my list of songs I had set up for this party when I was ready for it. Not yet.

"QUIET I SAID!" I shouted at her and she bit her lips down hard, trying not to react out loud to me yet, "Anna Nickles. You are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent."

Of course, none of them remained silent. I had to raise my voice to get the rest of my speech out as I stared at her through my sunglasses sternly, tensing my jaw.

"Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law." I went on as Anna tried her best to keep a straight face.

"**You have the right to have an attorney present now and during any future questioning****." ****I continued firmly, withdrawing my nightstick and holding at my side, "If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you free of charge if you wish. Do you understand these rights I have explained to you, Anna?"**

**"Yes." She said coyly.**

**"Good." I said curtly, crossing my arms, "Now why don't you confess to me what you've done and make it easier on yourself?"**

**"I haven't done ANYTHING." She replied, giggling as everyone else started cheering, laughing and screaming.**

**"Come on, Anna." I moved my nightstick up her right leg, along her inner thigh, getting howls from all the women now, including Anna's own squeals, "Don't make me get rough with you now. Tell me what you've done and maybe I'll have mercy on you."**

**More screams and laughter. **

**"Nothing! Nothing!!" Anna pleaded, her skin still aglow with fright as she smiled from ear to ear, "I swear, Mr. Officer, Sir. Really!"**

**Now she's being cute. Good girl.**

**"That's not the way Michael tells it." I informed. (Michael is the groom).**

**"What did HE say?!" Anna's eyes got larger as she laughed with all the other women there.**

**"He says you're a very bad girl, Anna." I stated, making my nightstick move up her breasts, slightly along the side of her as she struggled and kicked a bit, squealing and laughing.**

**"And I've been sent here to straighten you out properly. And I intend to do so." I said, full of authority.**

**WOOOOOOHHHH !!!! was all around me, and laughing, always laughing. Nervous reaction.**

**"And you will sit there quietly and take your punishment, do you hear me, Anna?" I went on, stroking her left inner thigh now with my nightstick, getting big loud reactions from everyone now.**

**"Perhaps if you behave to my satisfaction, I will release you. Is that clear?"**

**"Yes Sir." She said, almost making me smile. But her voice was still small and afraid.**

**"I said IS THAT CLEAR?!" I shouted in her face.**

**"YES!!" she screamed back, laughing right afterwards.**

**"Very good, Anna." I stroked her hair gently, then grabbed it a little hard, "Let's see how innocent you truly are, shall we?"**

**I put the nightstick in its strap on my belt and went around behind her now, hitting PLAY on my ipod/radio.**

**"MOM!" Anna laughed, kicking her leg a little bit, "HELP ME!"**

**"No way, baby, you're on your own!" Anna's mother laughed back at her.**

**_Oh don't worry Mom, I'm going to get you later, too._**

**The wonderful guitar licks of Elvis' Jailhouse Rock began to play loudly as I moved back around in front of the bride.**

**Women were screaming everywhere as I took off the hat, and sat it on top of Anna's little head. **

**Screams, laughter.**

**Slowly, I removed my sunglasses next, letting my eyes look over the brim of them at Anna as they came off my nose. She smiled at me, liking me so far.**

**I hooked the arm of my sunglasses into the collar of her blouse and I took off the tie, slowly, a real knot, not a clip on tie. I curled the tie around her neck, playing with her long dark hair a little, giving a stroke to her cheek with the back of my hand.**

**More screaming. Anna was smiling up at me sweetly, now seeing my whole face. I just kept my eyes on her while I gave my cop shirt a tug, the buttons flying and the shirt opened. **

**Howling. Cheering. Laughing.**

**Slowly, I rolled my shoulders out of the sleeves, one at a time, letting the shirt fall off me, catching it in my hands behind me and looping it around Anna, dancing it down around her waist, making her hips move up and down a bit out of her chair, towards me as I leaned in close to her, holding my hips to hers for a second, rolling my pelvis in circles against her jeans.**

**"Oh MY GODDDD!!" Anna screeched, her legs kicking a little bit more on the floor, "MOMMY !!"**

**"Stop that." I sneered at her, "Nothing is going to save you now. You're ****_mine_****."**

**I left my shirt there around her hips, and slowly I removed my leather gun belt. **

**I took a step back and giving my special pants a hard yank, the snaps opened and released my pants from my body instantaneously as the screams nearly deafened me.**

**My ass completely exposed, and my penis just barely covered by the little piece of black cloth stared back at every woman's eyes as I threw the pants back to the ladies in the room.**

**Anna was screaming and struggling in her chair, helpless to do anything to stop me as I moved around her, my body slick and slightly oiled up as I moved my hands down along my torso, still looking only at my bride to be, doing this for her, no one else.**

**I was far enough away from her now that I could get on my knees and drop on all fours, crawling over to her like a large jungle cat, rolling my shoulders with each move of my arms. **

**Climbing up easily onto her chair, I slowly straddled her with my legs, smiling down at her laughing, helpless face almost hidden by my cop hat on her head.**

**Cat calls, shouts, giggling.**

**I raised myself up on my knees in the chair so my hard penis was practically out of its tiny silk pouch and I moved it up and down her stomach and waist. She was really struggling now but going nowhere until I was done with her.**

**At the same time my pulsing cock was moving up and down her body, my bare chest was right in her face now, too. She tried moving her head back but she was trapped and had nothing to do except squeal and scream.**

**I felt someone's hand behind me give my ass a hard slap and I laughed out loud at that one, not catching just which one of them it was.**

**See, no women are truly innocent.**

**I grinded my chest down into hers very slowly to the music and I kept moving downward, accompanied by constant noise from the women around me, urging me onward. I bit my bottom lip, looking up into her excited and wild eyed expression.**

**I was on my knees between Anna's open legs now and I had my lips kissing into her blouse, right between the breasts as she hollered louder now, still my prisoner.**

**I moved slowly downward, placing deep kisses straight down her white blouse as the guests all shouted approvingly at the attentions I was giving their friend.**

**My hands stroked up and down the outer sides of Anna's legs, creating a nice warm friction against the denim.**

**Soon I was kissing the denim seam between Anna's legs, breathing very hot air into the thick material. She SCREECHED and bellowed in protest, laughing and turning eight different shades of pink.**

**I quickly came back up to her, straddling her again, letting my naked ass sit lightly on her legs and taking her face in my hands and planting a very large kiss upon her lips…and she kissed me back in return. Here comes the bride…**

**All I could hear now was WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!**

**I brought my kisses down her chin and then went for her neck, taking forever to christen every spot I could find there.**

**"Oh MY GOD!!" she kept screaming, not able to stand my kisses into her neck anymore and I saw her pucker her lips up to me again, wanting more of me on her lips now.**

**"I knew it, you ARE a bad little girl." I growled, opening my mouth and delivering another scorching kiss, this time giving her a little taste of my tongue.**

**After a good while, a few songs later, I decided to release the bride to be. But not before she had licked and sucked my nipples and bitten them like a hungry animal. She kissed my entire torso and back as I lap danced my most sensual and provocative moves. My ass was also to her liking and enjoyed fondling and biting that, too. No new bite marks, though, thankfully.**

**Anna had taken all I could legally give her in front of her in laws to be and mother so I had other women take the hot seat next, each one getting to touch me anywhere and any how they wanted. I laughed and smiled and kissed and danced my ass off for each one of them and before I knew it, it was 1:30pm.**

**Their party was going to keep going on after I was to leave, but no woman wanted me to go. They were all very nice and I received lots of tips, besides my fee of course.**

**"Goodbye, Edward." Anna gave me a big hug once I was back in my cop uniform again, my sunglasses off now, resting folded up in my shirt pocket, "Thank you SO much for coming! We all had the BEST time with you! I may not want to get married now!"**

**I hugged her back warmly, enjoying affection greatly, and kissed her cheek.**

**"Congratulations, Anna." I said sincerely, "You'll make a sexy as hell bride."**

**She giggled, 13 years old again, and kissed my lips briefly, smiling up at me.**

**"Bye." She looked a little sad to say it.**

**"Bye." I grinned back, waving goodbye to her mother who had hired me, also smiling from ear to ear at me. She had her hands on me more than her daughter did today. She just adored me after I flung her over my shoulder and acted like I was taking her into one of the bedrooms nearby, to have my way with her. **

**No, I didn't have sex with Anna's mother, or any of them. This was a bachelorette party, nothing like that happens here. But I did get lots of phone numbers, on the sly, and that was normal. I accepted them and smiled and said thank you, I'll be in touch, giving them a deep kiss afterwards. Future work, new clients.**

**A chorus of goodbyes hailed down on me from above as I walked down the steps of the porch, returning to the street to catch the train back to Bella's place. **

**I didn't run but I rushed. I didn't want to be late for my therapy with my gorgeous Dr. Bella. And I had a phone call to make at 3pm, as usual.**

**BPOV**

**When I got home, I heard the shower running. Smiling, I was glad he was here already. In only a couple days, I had to admit I liked coming home and having him with me, waiting. A big part of me wanted to go into the bathroom and yank that shower door open, maybe give him a little scare. **

**That would scare the shit out of ME. Ever since I saw Psycho when I was eight years old, I had an eerie feeling being in my shower alone. I even preferred the glass doors instead of a curtain because I felt more secure being able to see what was out there while I washed. **

**Not that I could DO anything to save myself if it ever happened, but still…**

**I was about to call out to him so he wouldn't get scared if he heard me out here but then his voice started singing.**

**"**Nighttime sharpens, heightens each sensation  
Darkness wakes and stirs imagination  
Silently the senses abandon their defenses  
Helpless to resist the notes I write  
For I compose the music of the night."

He sang like a dark angel, sounding just like Gerard Butler from Phantom of the Opera. I love this movie! And yes, I know it was a play, too. But I had only been fortunate enough to have seen the movie so far. This song is called, Music of the Night, I remembered. (If you've never heard this, go to youtube now and listen to it, it's amazingly hot!) I sat down in my chair in the living room, listening quietly, smiling, and getting my notebook and tape recorder ready.

His magnificent voice uncurled from the steamy bathroom like a black cloud of witchcraft, coming after my soul with its haunted melody.

"Slowly, gently, night unfurls its splendor  
Grasp it, sense it, tremulous and tender  
Turn your face away from the garish light of day  
Turn your thoughts away from cold, unfeeling light  
And listen to the music of the night

_**Close you eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams**_  
purge your thoughts of the life you knew before  
Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar (he held this incredible long note)  
And you'll live as you've never lived before." (he breathed in song, so quietly)

_Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?_

**I waved my notebook like a fan over my face, feeling tingly and sweaty suddenly.**

**I tried to concentrate on the questions I had prepared for him, but I read the same one five times, still unsure what I had written there hours ago.**

**"**Softly, deftly, music shall caress you  
Hear it, feel it, secretly possess you  
_**Open up your mind,  
Let your fantasies unwind  
In this darkness which you know you cannot fight**_  
The darkness of the music of the night

Let your mind start a journey through a _**strange, new world**_  
Leave all thoughts of the life you knew before  
Let your soul take you where you long to be!  
_**Only then can you belong …to me." **_(again, his voice irresistibly soft)

Does he know I'm out here? Is he singing to me…those lines stuck out, sounding like he was referring to me - Open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind – In the darkness that I know I cannot fight.

And the part about leaving my life as I knew before, and letting my soul take me where I long to be….I wonder if Andrew Lloyd Weber somehow knew about Edward and I, years ago.

I love the way he sang that last line – _Only then can you belong to me_. He thinks he belongs to ME, but in reality, I already belong to HIM.

Hey! Therapy session, remember, Dr. Bella?! Oh yea, God I am hopeless.

**"**Floating, falling, sweet intoxication  
_**Touch me, trust me**_, savour each sensation  
Let the dream begin, _**let your darker side give in**_  
To the power of the music that I write  
The power of the music of the night

You alone can make my song take flight  
Help me make the music of the night."

He was humming the melody now and I felt my chest loosen as if clutched fingers had once been around it and were now letting go, slowly.

He should be a singer with that fucking voice. I have to stop using the F word. It's so bad. Only since HE'S been here that word keeps creeping up in my thoughts and my mouth. He is a bad boy. And it's rubbing off on me.

But I will never forget this song…and Edward's voice. It's a part of me now. I am trembling! I made notes of that in the back section of my notebook, where I wrote my feelings. Edward was the first half.

I saw my hands acting on their own again, just writing - _I adore him_.

In a daze, my eyes fixed on those words. In 13 days, almost 12 now, he would be out of my life. I would never see him again.

Minutes went by but to me it was more like seconds. I almost had an attack when I heard the sudden voice of Edward behind me, emerging from the bathroom door.

"Dr. Bella!" he said a little loudly, chuckling as I jumped, my head twirling around as he quickly moved over to the green sofa, sitting down on it today instead of lounging across it like a sexy human throw.

"Sorry." He grinned, running both hands back one long pull through his damp, towel dried hair. It looked dark, almost black from the water but with the sun shining on it so bright, the redness showed through it.

He was wearing no shirt, as rule number one stated, and a pair of flannel black pajama pants, red lines going down and across the ebony pattern.

Bare feet, as usual. He sat there, respectfully, trying to be good now, it appeared to me, after this morning's lecture.

"Am I on time?" he asked, looking around for a clock.

"Yes, Edward, you are on time." I grinned.

I love you.

"Okay…" I went to the front of the notebook and took my pen in hand, then leaned in and hit the record button of my tape machine, saying, "Edward – session two."

Start off light for the first few questions, I told myself, looking at my list of questions for him.

"So, Edward," I grinned, peeking up at him from under my lashes, "You enjoy Sponge Bob?"

His smile spread across his face in slight embarrassment as he laughed, glancing out the window then back to me. I laughed, also, remembering it.

"You finally bring it up." He looked down at his feet, then back at me, "I was wondering if you noticed."

"I notice everything." I informed, "That's my job, or…what I want it to be, anyway."

He scratched his cheek, looking at his knee for a moment.

"So?" I prodded gently.

"I don't really WATCH it…" he explained and I could see he wasn't telling me everything right away, "I…like having it on. Listening to it, like, in the background sometimes…relaxes me."

He shrugged, shaking his head a couple times and looking as if some internal thing was going on in his eyes, thinking over his answer.

"Cartoons are very pure." He added, "Innocent. I like that…"

That makes sense. His daily life is so impure, I guess, that when he's off work, he maybe needs to see something that contrasts the sexual darkness of his job.

I took some notes quickly and said, "I understand that."

"_Do_ you?" he said it rhetorically, crossing his arms and then uncrossing them.

Uh oh. I'm losing him already. He looked around for something to do with his hands, reminding me of myself. I never know what to do with my hands, either. Funny, he is as nervous now as I am when he's working his spells on me. We are like opposite sides of a coin.

He took a magazine from the coffee table and rolled it up, tapping it quietly on his knee. Okay, good, he's got something to play with.

"You okay, Edward?" I asked without pushing.

"Yes, fine." He grinned at me, "Go on."

"Okay." I took a breath, "I'm just going to ask some quick things, just to get them out of the way, okay? Don't get upset."

"Alright." He looked curious.

"Have you ever been…sexually abused, as a child?" I clenched my jaw asking this, and then made myself look into his eyes.

"No." he smiled, liking the fear in my eyes, I'm guessing.

I waited, not saying anything, to see what he'd offer next.

"The people who took care of me while my parents were away were great to me. Joseph, the head butler, was like a father to me. He loved opera and music and he taught me everything he knew about it. He taught me to play the piano and guitar. And then, there was Katherine, a wonderful woman who worked in the kitchen. She was my substitute Mom and I hung out in the kitchen with her a lot, helping her chop things and mix and cook. No one in the house would've ever done a thing to hurt me. They raised me. THEY loved me. "

He stopped there and moved the rolled up magazine up and down over his leg, staring at it.

"Do you ever get to see them anymore? Joseph or Katherine, or any of them?" I asked.

"They work for my parents." He looked at me sternly, then added, "No."

"But they care about you, obviously." I pointed out, "Couldn't they see you away from your parent's house or something? Or call you?"

"They work for my parents." He repeated, getting tense, "I don't want them to lose their jobs. They live in the house, too. I won't get them fired, where would they go? They're not that young anymore, no. They would have nothing."

"Alright." I kept calm, seeing he was beginning to get a little more upset.

"If my parents could turn their backs on _me_ and throw me out of their lives, they'd most certainly do it to any of their employees, don't you think?" he pointed out.

"I see what you're saying." I nodded, agreeing with him there.

"Maybe…you could play something for me…sometime?" I asked, being Bella now and dropping the doctor part.

His sad face turned relaxed and sweet in a second as he looked up at me.

"I would love to, Bella." He purred, "I'll make it happen in a few days. We'll go out."

Smiling more, I loved the idea of sitting beside him as he played a piano for me.

"You're a great singer, too, by the way." I blurted out, then felt my cheeks turn hot as I went back to my questions list.

"Thank you, eavesdropper Bella." He teased, smiling and playing with the magazine again.

Picking another light question, I asked, "Tell me about your friends…people you are close to."

"Hmmm, at the club, there's Emmett, a good friend of mine, Jasper, another dancer there, he's a friend, too. We sometimes hang out together. Then Victoria, she's the red head who owns Fire, she's very close to me. She handles things for me."

He stopped, looking as if he were thinking, then shrugged and said, "I guess that's it."

Great, other dancers and his Boss. They wouldn't be able to help extracting him out of this lifestyle. They were all stuck in there too.

"No one else?" I asked, keeping my smile on, not judging.

"No." he looked up at me, almost ashamed.

I took a note and then Edward cut in suddenly, "I would rather have only three _true_ friends than 100 _false_ ones."

He thinks I'm judging him because he only has three friends? I will have to set him straight there.

"I totally agree." I looked straight back at him, "My best friends, Alice and Rosalie, are my true friends. Everyone else is really just kind of classmates to me."

He looked down at his magazine and I thought to say something important to him, adding, "And Edward?"

He looked up at my eyes, looking a little nervously at me.

"You can count me in as one of your friends." I said with a serious tone, meaning it, hoping he could hear that I wasn't just saying it, "Okay?"

He smiled and looked down, looking happy and maybe… touched by my words?

"Thanks, Bella." He turned his gorgeous, innocent eyes up at me and said, "You can count me as your friend, too."

"I will, thanks." I almost felt tears in my eyes. Yes, I hope that was our first step towards trusting each other. It felt like a big moment to me.

"Here's a fun question." I joked, or tried to, "Do you sleep with women _and_ men? Or only women?"

Please say women only, please oh please oh please.

His eyes blinked, a little surprised by my question and he quickly said, "No, women ONLY. I don't do men or children. Women, 18 years and up."

Thank you, thank you. What am I thanking God for? He still sleeps with tons of women for money, and I'm relieved somehow?

"Do you ever use drugs or alcohol?" I went on, wanting to get these questions out and over with.

"No to the drugs." He grinned, "Alcohol, only occasionally, at a dinner, or party, a glass of wine, nothing hard core. Drunks and drug addicts don't look very good after a night of partying. And I couldn't do my job correctly if I was falling down drunk or high. And also…it's just wrong…to me. It sets a bad example for….others."

He was thinking something else but he didn't voice it. MAN! I wish he could open up more. But I was being impatient. He needs time to trust me more. He's really doing very well being honest with me and all. I shouldn't complain.

"Good." I made a note, "And you have no…illnesses, or anything?"

I hate asking this shit. I hate James.

He looked up at me, a smirk on his lips.

"I would not ever touch another person the way I do if I had any diseases or anything like that, Bella." He said without hesitation, "Victoria checks us weekly. We are all clean. The minute we're not, we lose our job. I use protection, always. I wouldn't do that to you, Bella. Please…know that."

"I know." I said, actually really knowing it in my heart, "James made me ask that. Sorry."

"Who's James?" Edward's brow creased.

"Oh, Dr. Collier, I mean, my teacher." I informed.

"Oh."

I chose my next question – _Do you have a lover now_? I don't know why I was afraid of the answer.

"And…" I began, looking at my notebook, gripping my pen tightly, "Do you have…someone special…now, in your life? Like, a girlfriend or…"

"You are my girlfriend right now." He smiled, teasing it looked like, "And yes, you are very special."

Great. Is that his way of saying I'm a retard that can't get out of her own bathroom alone?

"No, I mean…besides me." I kept trying, "In your personal life? You can say, I won't get mad or anything. I told you, I don't own you. It's alright."

"No girlfriend." He exhaled a breath, "Being what I am…not many women are okay with that. The women I know…don't want me around after they're finished with me. And that's okay. I wouldn't date me either, if I were a girl."

"Why do you say _that_, Edward?" I gave him an open ended question again, wanting more of his thoughts on this.

This is important. He must know he's desirable and not just for sexual play for money. His self esteem is almost non existent. I wished I had time to build it up more with him. But it takes time…and we don't have that kind of time.

He grinned and shrugged, "It's true. You _wanted_ truth. I'm a _whore_, if I take a girl to dinner and we start talking, what's the first thing that usually comes up? _What do you do, Edward_? Then, I can either lie, which is wrong because the entire relationship is built on deceit, or I can tell the truth. One time, I did tell the truth and the girl threw a drink in my face and stormed out of the restaurant. That was the last 'date' I had."

God. The humiliation of having a girl throw a drink in your face in public. And what bitch woman did THAT to HIM?! I am getting to hate my own gender. They have really twisted this man's head in 100 different wrong directions.

Do not help, James had said, just study and report.

I sighed to myself and decided to proceed to a new question.

"Okay, here's a good one, I think." I chose one, "Tell me some good memories you have of your parents."

His eyes rolled up for a moment and he gripped the rolled up magazine a bit tighter.

"Why do we keep coming back to _them_?" he asked, gritting teeth.

"Well, Edward…" I explained, "Your parents are where your life began, even though you're angry with them, they are still important and—"

"They are _nothing_." His eyes turned cruel, almost causing me physical pain, "They are dead. DEAD to me. I went to them, holding her in my arms and I _begged_ them to help her! I swallowed every bit of pride I ever had and BEGGED them like a _dog_, crying in the snow and they shut the door in my FACE like they never saw me _before_!"

He made himself unclench, seeing the fear in my face. In seconds, he calmed himself and took deep breaths, saying "Wait. Give me one second."

I didn't say anything and I didn't know what he was talking about and who this female was that he was holding as he begged his parents for help, but it didn't matter. Some poison had just leaked out of him and that's very good. He needed to get it out or it would eat him alive inside. It already was, obviously.

"You don't have to calm down, Edward." I leaned in, putting my notebook aside for a second, his eyes avoiding me as he stared down at his knuckles, "It's okay to yell and scream if that's what you need to do. You can let it out, you won't scare me. I'm not afraid of you."

He let out a little breath of laughter. "You really shouldn't have said that."

"Why not?" I tried to smile and be kind and soft.

"I can never lose control with you…or anyone." He said so sadly, sounding so alone, not looking at my eyes, "My rage…is like a horrible demon inside me. I have to keep it calm all the time. I can't let it out. I don't want to be a monster. And that's what I would be if I unleashed that. I won't do it to you, Bella, of all people."

"I can handle it, Edward." I lied, trying to sound strong and brave, "You can't let yourself keep being a slave to that anger. It is consuming you. Do you want to talk some more about your parents, about what you just said?"

"Can we go to the next question?" he asked so quietly, still not making eye contact.

"Alright, Edward." I said, relaxed, picking up my notebook again, hoping to find a nicer, easier question in here for him now. I would return to this subject later.

Here's a good one, hopefully. I never knew with Edward.

"Tell me about some of the jobs you had before you started working at Fire." I suggested, "Was Fire where it all started?"

"Yes." Edward looked less tense now, taking a breath and looking at my face again, "Before that, after I had to leave college, there wasn't much I could do. My girlfriend at the time, stayed in college and I used to secretly sleep in her dorm room overnight because I had no place to live then.

We quickly got caught and I was kicked out of there, so for awhile I was living on the streets. I worked a bunch of crappy jobs, having only a high school diploma.

I made pizzas, I was a bus boy at Red Lobster, waiter at Denny's, food places mostly, because I could eat there. It's amazing what people don't eat and leave behind. I never seemed to go hungry for long, as long as I was working somewhere.

And in the winter, I would just hang out inside wherever I was working at the time just to stay warm, from opening to closing. They usually didn't mind it, my bosses. So, really, I'd only have to find a place to sleep after the place closed up for the night until the next morning.

I really missed my car then. I could've slept in that and been kinda warm. But I found some places. Benches, bus stop cubicles, cemeteries – real quiet there and dark. I got great sleep there.

I was always clean, though. I couldn't take showers anywhere, but I could get cleaned up at a gas station bathroom, using my own soap and shampoo."

I felt frozen in my seat. I thought this was an easy question and Edward was answering it without any anger or sadness, but…I was incredibly sad for him and angry.

How could his parents just throw him away to let him live on the streets? And how did his girlfriend, the love of his life, allow this to happen to him? If he were mine and threw away his life, his money, his car, his college, his family all for me – I wouldn't let him do it. I would sooner let him go then subject him to all this!

"Had enough yet, Bella?" he asked me gently, sensing my horror, and breaking the small pause in the air.

I jerked out of my trance and said, "Oh, no, I'm fine. I was just thinking. Sorry."

Edward grinned a little at me as I wrote for a second and I heard myself ask, "What did your girlfriend feel about all this?"

With a small shrug, he looked away.

"She didn't like it, she _hated_ it." He admitted, "But that's the way it was. We couldn't change it. She even tried to dump me once but a couple weeks later, when she saw me still making pizzas and asked me about it. I told her it didn't matter if she dumped me or not. I was never going back to my parents or their money or their college. I begged her for a long time and she took me back. She loved me."

He said it, almost as if to convince himself. I picked up on that.

_She loved me._ Past tense.

"I know she did." I said warmly, and honestly.

I would. I DO. And it's probably more stupid of me, to be in love with "whore Edward" instead of that girl loving "poor Edward." God, I sound like Dr. Seuss.

"Do you think…maybe today you can tell me her name, Edward?" I went slowly here, I knew this was a painful part of him, the thing that had broken him enough to make him turn to the life he was living now.

He exhaled breath again, and I noticed one of his hands were in a fist at his side. His eyes looked so solemn, struggling silently as they looked down at the magazine. I think he truly wants to tell me…but he is not ready yet.

I am so sorry Edward. I don't want to cause you any pain, not in the slightest. Why am I doing this to him? I would rather slice my skin open with a knife than keep putting him through this. But this is my life's dream, being a psychiatrist. God, what if this means I'm not cut out for this career? But that worry was secondary to what I was doing to poor Edward.

"It's alright." I said, ending his internal battle, "Not today. It's okay, Edward."

Another long breath came out of him and his eyes looked up at me, again, shame there.

"Thank you, Bella." He said softly, "I'm sorry. I am really trying…"

"I know it, Edward." I smiled at him, reassuring him, "You are doing a perfect job, really. I mean that. Don't apologize."

He breathed hard again, making himself slowly relax. I noticed he was very good at bouncing back and quickly recovering from his pain. He is just pushing it aside, over and over. He's gotten quite good at it, I could tell from his facial expressions.

"So, your girlfriend kept going to college while you did all you could to make ends meet…did you ever feel…how did it make you feel, her being a student and you…being…out of school?"

He chewed a little on his bottom lip, unrolling the magazine now and rolling it in the opposite direction now.

"Maybe I was a little jealous…I know that now." He admitted, "We had a lot of fights during that time. I was a kid and wasn't fair to her. It wasn't her fault. I would wait all day and just come over to her room at night to spend time with her and she had other things to do. I would get so angry. She had friends and activities and study clubs in the library. And I couldn't be part of that anymore. I hated that. I was mean to her sometimes. I made her cry all the time. But she still stayed with me. She always forgave me. God knows why."

"She loved you." I stated, reminding him.

He looked up at me with a heavy ache in his eyes, and made his lips smile a bit.

"Yes." He said, not adding anything more.

I reached over and hit STOP on my recorder.

"I'm hungry." I let him off the hook for now, "Let's go get some Chinese food."

"Really?" his brow raised as his lips began to turn up at the lovely corners.

"Really." I said, grinning, closing my notebook. I had lots more questions but this was a good start, enough for today.

"That sounds great." He smiled, standing up, "I should change my clothes. I can do that fast. Wait here."

He rushed into my bedroom – our bedroom – and I heard clothes rustling. He is too cute, hurrying like I'm going to leave him if he doesn't move it.

"Oh, wait." He came to the doorway of the bedroom, looking a little tense, but dressed in blue jeans and a red t-shirt, the shoulders nicely exposed, "I have to make a phone call. I always have to make a call at 3. It won't take very long, I promise. Is that okay?"

"What did I tell you, Edward?" I almost scolded him like I was his mother, "You don't have to ask permission. If you have to make a call, make a call. It's fine. I can wait."

He hesitated now, looking at me.

"Is it okay if–" he stopped himself, "I should go outside and make it. It's kind of…personal."

He swallowed, looking nervously at me.

I shrugged and grinned, having no problem with giving him some privacy. It's nice to see that some things for him were too personal to share with others. There's a bit of hope there. But I couldn't help wondering who it was he was calling and what it was about.

"No problem." I smiled, "Take your time, I'll wait here for you. I'll watch Sponge Bob." I teased, wanting his smile.

Cell phone in hand, he did smile at me, growling and muttering something under his breath.

"What?" I chuckled, turning my head at him as he went out the door, closing it behind him.

"Nothing ! Be right back." He almost sang it, grinning pleasantly.

I watched Judge Judy for about a half hour and then Edward was entering the apartment again, announcing, "I am all yours, fair Bella. Let's go."

Switching off the power, I smiled and grabbed my purse.

"Yay, I'm starving to death!" I over emphasized, reaching him as he took me by the hand, leading me out to the street below.

"We can't have that, now, can we?" Edward smiled, "You must feed, you will need your energy tonight."

And he pulled my mouth to his as we came to a halt on the street, random people moving around us as he opened his lips and closed them over mine, and he tasted like strawberries now. YUM!

After he broke the kiss, we were on the move again. I giggled, unsure what or if he had anything planned for me tonight. Oh, who am I kidding, he most likely does have something planned. I felt so nervous suddenly, but also, elated and anxious.

It was fun, being on the subway train with him. We were standing, holding onto the silver pole, leaning back and letting our bodies spin around, then clash into each other as we laughed. After a few minutes of that, I held the pole and he stood behind me, his body stuck to the back of mine as he had his arms around my waist, holding the pole with both hands, sealing me in his arms.

"Move your hair." His voice was in my ear as I giggled and jerked my head, the locks of my hair falling off my shoulder.

"That's it." He growled, "Good girllll."

And his mouth came in with heat and wonderful wetness, kissing under my ear, slowly trailing down my neck, taking gentle, erotic bites, driving me wild already.

Whispering into my ear between his kisses, he said, "Look at everyone watching you, Bella. They are so jealous of me right now…KISS. BITE. And they're fantasizing about you. KISS. Wanting to undress you like I do. BITE. LICK."

"Uuuhhhh…" I closed my eyes and felt my knees weaken a bit.

"Feel this?" his sexual, hot voice groaned in my ear and I felt him move my body hard against the pole, pressing his hard erection right against my butt as I let a little moan escape my lips, looking around immediately at the people all around us to see if anyone was really watching us.

"Yes." I whispered, feeling the thrill of not only his penis pressing into my ass but also the pole was pressing right between my legs, hidden from most eyes because of Edward's hands on the pole, holding me in tightly.

"Look what you're doing to me…," he growled again, sounding unpleased about it.

BITE. KISS. LICK.

A dark, wicked part of me wanted to reach my hands up and grab his hair while he just took me right here, pounding me into the cold pole, in front of everyone, bruising my pelvis as it thrust over and over again into the metal, thudding obviously and intrusively.

His hand fisted in my hair and he pulled my head back a bit, "Exciting, isn't it? Me controlling your body in the middle of a train, with all these witnesses? Say yes."

"Yes." I confessed, to hell with the consequences. He was so good already at breaking down my inhibitions. I feel like I'm turning into a whole different person and it's only been less than 2 days!

I am working on him during my time…and he most definitely is working on me during his.

God, he is talented. I wish I was as good at my psychiatric questioning as he is at his job.

"Yes.", he dove in to ravage my neck with his teeth and tongue and rough lips.

My gasps and panting grew louder but I strangely didn't care. Edward was making me feel so good that I began to block the people around us out.

His hand roamed over my ass and squeezed it, even gave it a little SMACK against my jeans as I yelped, surprised, but not angry. Then his hand moved over my breasts, over the t-shirt, still pressing me into the pole, holding me hostage there with his rock hard body at my back.

It didn't look like many people were paying us any attention, but my mind began to wander in paranoia, thinking everyone could see us.

How the hell am I going to resist him? I was going to maybe make Edward wait a couple more nights at least before I made love with him, but if he keeps doing these kinds of things, there's no way I can make myself wait! Yes, I had already decided to give myself to him, despite my brain's warnings. Maybe he knows what I was thinking. DAMN! He's gonna think I'm so easy! I want to be different from other women he's known, but…I'm only human!! I need this…my body needs this. I'm too weak to resist him.

"Such a good girl…" he purred, whispering as his hands moved up and down the sides of my hips, curling in and rubbing my butt cheeks again, "You're behaving sooo nicely, not giving me any resistance at all…I'm so proud of YOU, fair Bella…"

Edward was doing a good job with me on my sessions and I was glad to know I was being equally behaved during his sessions.

My mouth and brain couldn't form words at the moment, all I could so eloquently say was, "Ohhhhhhhhh….." and gasp.

"Everyone is drooling over you…watching me feel you up like a little bitch in heat right before their eyes…" his voice moved like smoke into my ears, so low, so sexual and deep, "They're all wishing they were me…they can almost see me in their minds…bending you over the seat, yanking your jeans down…KISS. BITE. LICK. ..shoving my cock deep inside you and pounding you…"

OH, SHIT!! This boy can TALK!! His _voice_ is doing things to my body!! I had no idea _hearing_ something could make you so wet and hot!!

I exhaled a deep breath, closing my eyes as my body trembled harder.

"Again…and again…" he growled in my ear, "Taking you…making you scream while everyone just sits here and watches you being fucked…no one will help you…no one will stop me from having you, Bella."

His hand wrapped once around my long hair, holding my face up a bit, the pole between my breasts as he pushed me gently against it.

"Mmmmmm…" Edward purred, looking down at me from his point of view, "So sweet…and innocent…the way you shiver and blush…it just makes me want you all the more…I want a peek at the little slut inside you…"

"Oh my God…" I was panting and felt the wetness between my legs right now.

"Fuck God, you're in _my_ clutches now, little girl…" he was so wicked and hot I wanted to rape him right here and now. What is he doing to me?! I'm not like this!! Am I ?!

I told you, I love bad boys. And Edward was doing a wonderful job at being bad right now. I didn't know he had this side to him. He is just full of surprises!

"God might have mercy on you, but I _won't_." he whispered deeply into my ear, taking a firm bite on my earlobe as I clenched the pole harder, my fingers reddening.

The door opened on the train and Edward grabbed my hand, pulling me behind him, getting out of the car and into the platform area.

"This is our stop, let's eat!" his voice went right back to normal in an instant, and he was dragging me behind him up the platform stairs, towards the street.

BASTARD !!

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See next chapter soon!

Love, WinndSinger

PS – Don't worry, Edward is just exploring Bella's likes and desires, seeing what arouses her. He wants to expand her horizons a bit, he would not rape her on the train. He enjoys working her up into a frenzy and then letting her sit there, all crazy! He wants her to come to him and ask for her first time with him, so don't think ill of Edward if he tends to be a bit risqué sometimes. Don't forget, this is who he is right now and maybe later in the story he might change. But it will not happen overnight. So be patient with him, he's very damaged. But terribly sweet.

And I hope everyone likes that we got a bit more info on Edward in this chapter. More will come out soon about his past. Bella wants to get the info, but she doesn't want to push him too hard too fast. She is good and she will do her best to find out all the mysteries of Edward.

Rose and Alice will be back in a couple chapters, I just thought it was important first to explore Edward and Bella alone and then, later, I will bring Emmett, Jasper, and the girls into it more.

Yes, I am making Carlisle and Esme into rotten parents, sorry. I love Carlisle but for this story he is a bastard, sorry again. Maybe we will hear from him later in the story.

Let me know if you are liking this –

Oh, I had fun writing Edward being the cop stripper, wasn't that fun?!

Love you all, thanks for reviewing!!

WinndSinger


	7. First Date

7

*Notes: Yes, this will be a romance story between Edward and Bella, for those who have asked. Just give them a little time…it will start to happen, trust me. (Wicked smile). And, yes, there was a twinge of jealousy there when Bella mentioned James to Edward, thanks for noticing !

And thanks for liking the subway scene. I almost didn't put it in because I thought I was making Edward appear too…raunchy. But then I said, hey, he's been in this lifestyle for a long time and it's all he really knows now, and he is testing the waters with Bella to see what fantasies of hers he can make come true. Also, she does excite him because she's so innocent and naïve. He loves that about her. So please don't get too upset if sexual Edward begins to emerge in strange ways. This Edward doesn't usually have sweet, gentle sex, you know. So be patient with him. If you don't want to read those parts, feel free to skip over them. I totally understand. Thanks !

Thanks, again, for all your wonderful reviews! I love reading them! Now let's go back to our dynamic duo!

(I always picture Edward and Bella standing around, waiting, bored for me when I sit down to write a new chapter, like they're waiting for me to make them do things, does anyone else ever get that thought while writing?)

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"Hearts are not to be had as a gift. Hearts are to be earned." – W.B. Yeats

EPOV

As I led Bella up the subway stairs to the busy street above, I heard those heavy breaths of surprise and frustration. Maybe it was because only a moment ago, I was her dark captor on the train, and now I was hungry boyfriend, rushing her to a little Chinese restaurant I know.

I hope she didn't think I was just kidding. Oh shit, maybe she does. I did just flip my whole personality in two seconds. Fuck. How am I gonna tell her that's just how I am? I hurt her feelings, FUCK!! FUCK!! FUCK !!

I decided to explain more to her once we were sitting down and waiting for our food.

I had to say something to fill the void.

"This is the best Chinese place in New York." I informed, although I didn't really know that for a fact. I just liked it there, myself. It isn't fancy looking or too large, it's not crowded. And the food is great.

"Oh yea?" she asked, rushing to keep pace alongside of me.

"Oh yea." I stated in certainty, "My treat."

"No, I have—" she began and I knew she would but I talked over her.

"Can't hear you, Bella." I put my hands both over my ears now, "Bella keeps talking but I can't hear her…LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!!!"

I love doing that to girls. I stole it from Eddie Murphy – Beverly Hills Cop.

"Brat." She said, dropping her protest as I took my hands off my ears and smiled down at her, taking her hand again.

She smiled back. It doesn't appear she's angry with me. Good. I felt my chest sigh in relief involuntarily. I hate anger.

Bella looked very comfortable once I showed her what door to enter. I pushed it open for her and she looked relieved it wasn't a swanky, posh looking restaurant. I had guessed right, she preferred normal, not lavish things. 2 points for me.

I would still take her out for one luxurious night of swank, I decided. She deserved it but I wouldn't give her two whole weeks of it. It would make her uneasy and more nervous so I had to avoid over-doing anything that would make her feel that way.

"Wanna sit over here?" I offered, going to a little round table in the corner, a big black room divider beside the table with a large red dragon sprawled across it.

"Sure." She came with me, still letting me hold her hand.

We sat down , menus in the center of the table. I handed her one and opened mine, it was a paper menu with only two pages inside.

"So, Bella…do you see anything that you've been hungering for?" I purred, knowing this would earn me a peek at that cute little blush she does so often.

And there it is. I smiled and lowered my eyes to the menu, keeping my snicker to myself. I didn't want her to think I was making fun of her or enjoying making her nervous. Just the opposite, I want her to come back at me with something just as naughty. But I had just begun with Bella, maybe, in time, she would come around and tease me back.

She cleared her throat and I saw her peek up at me over the edge of her menu. But then she made herself concentrate on what she wanted to eat and she chickened out on me.

"Uhh." She frowned a little, trying to remember how to read as I chuckled, watching her closer now, "The---- l -lo m-mein, (clears her throat harder) the shrimp lo mein looks good. And I like pepper steak."

Poor little Bella. I hope once we make love she can relax around me more. Making love I call it. It sounds so sleazy saying once I fuck her. Besides, I could call it making love with Bella. She is so rare and honest and cute. I don't know if she could call it making love from her end. I'm a well paid hooker to her who needs therapy.

I know I don't or can't love Bella in the sense that I could marry her or anything. That part of my life is over and I wouldn't impose myself on her by ever falling for her, but if I were a normal, real man…I would go after her. But I am not real and I am not a man. And I can never have her.

Just do your job, Edward, and make her as happy as you can and then go. Stop thinking love whenever you're around her. Girls don't love whores. You'd only make a complete fool of yourself if you really did fall in love with her or anyone else for that matter.

The one you love is somewhere else, far from here, don't forget that. And that's all you have, that's all you need. Focus. She is counting on you. I know, I mentally answered my inner voice, I know.

Perhaps after Bella, I should start turning down younger women, I considered. It's easier to stay unattached with the older ones, they don't cling onto you and blush when you compliment them. And a lot of young girls do become attached to me, especially the virgins. When you give a woman that first taste of passion, they fall in love with you, unwillingly, stupidly, devastatingly.

I know Bella's not a virgin, but close to it. 33 seconds. In my book, she _is_ a virgin. My first time with her had to be soft and sensual, like the massage was. But maybe I can make it a little more exciting for her, somehow. I would love to have her outside somewhere, the breeze touching our bodies. But in New York, finding a secluded outside spot was like finding books in Paris Hilton's apartment.

Yes, I have been there. No books. But lots of toys. Thank God I didn't have to talk to her, much. See, I will do _anyone_.

But I am getting off track here. Oh, yes, find something to order. Food, remember? Yea, yea, yea.

"That does sound pretty good." I answered her, "But I like things dangerously spicy. My usual is General Tso's chicken with broccoli."

She winced, smiling, "Ouch. Too hot for me!"

"Oh, come on, you can try a bite of mine." I smiled, closing my menu, giving her my full attention now, reaching over and taking her free hand into mine, resting against the table between us, "You might like hot, Bella, if you gave it a chance."

I got her eyes and her bigger smile now, and she put her menu down. Yes, Bella, come on, say it…say it out loud…something evil and sultry. You can do it.

I am on the edge of my seat.

"I want to try it…" she said softly, "But what if it burns too much?"

Oh, not bad. I smiled back at her, stroking my fingers over hand. I brought it to my lips and kissed it with real feeling. She wants me but she's afraid. I wonder if it's physical pain or emotional pain she's talking about.

"It won't burn too much." I said, seriously, giving her my honest eyes, "I promise. I'll be good to you."

She rubbed my hand with her thumb, gently, her eyes a little sparkly now.

"I know." She said, sounding so sincere. It seems like she wants to trust me, even though she shouldn't.

"Besides…" I wanted things to turn light now, "I know where your ice cubes are if things get too hot for you."

She laughed with me and turned a nice shade of burgundy then. I let Bella order her own food and I gave my order. Some women like me to take charge and order their food for them, the ones who like me to be dominant and controlling over them. But this was not Bella. Not yet, anyway. I want to play that game later in our relationship, if she allows me.

"Brat." She finally quipped, taking a breath, and I could see she was relaxing now. Good girl.

"So how did your appointment go today?" she asked, trying to make conversation. She was looking right into my face and I hesitated, not knowing how to respond. Do I tell her about it? Will she get jealous?

"Edward, you can tell me." She read my mind, "Actually, I would like to know more about your appointments and things. It would help my study. And I know you don't mind talking about _sex."_

Hmmm, maybe she is more observant than I thought. Okay, if she wants to know, I have no problem talking about this.

"Okay." I folded my hands, glancing away for a second, then I brought my eyes right to hers, knowing this would probably blow up in my face.

"Well, I had a bachelorette party today." I began, "I went as a cop. I love being a cop. The bride was very nice. They were all pretty nice. And…it went well."

Bella stared at me and smirked. "God, you so left all the good stuff out."

"Alright, Bella." I smiled, ready to unleash the whole story on her.

I told her every detail of how I entered the house and obtained my bride in her chair, cuffing her. Bella smiled at this and listened with huge interest.

"I started dancing and once I got my clothes off, the ice was broken." I was saying as the waitress, a chinese woman with short black hair in her 40's came over, brining our sodas to us.

Bella turned bright red but I kept right on talking, ignoring the waitress' glance at me.

"I rubbed my penis up and down her body and that usually gets my little bride hot and stoked to begin with." I said as Bella blocked her eyes from the waitress, her red face turning deeper red now. I think the waitress was lingering too long at our table just to keep hearing our conversation.

Bella glared at me and sliced the air with her hand, as if to tell me CUT – or shut up. But I didn't.

"And once I put my mouth against the crotch of her jeans, she was mine." I stated casually.

I took a sip of my coke from its straw and swallowed, continuing my story.

Once the waitress was gone, everything seemed alright with Bella. She laughed and listened to my stories, she asked questions. I'll bet she was wishing she had her trusty notebook with her now.

When our food came, I was almost finished telling her all the things I had done at Anna's house and it didn't look like she was getting mad. My friends were the only other ones I could talk like this to. Then I remembered, Bella is my friend, too. And now, I'm sure of it.

"They made you into a _sundae_?" she giggled as I took my chop sticks out of the paper, snapping them in two and taking them in my hand.

"Yea." I grinned, "They came up with that on their own. They laid me on the table, on some towels and put all kinds of ice cream and cake, whipped cream, and hershey's syrup all over me. Then they all sat around and started using spoons to eat the ice cream off me. It started out nice and lady-like at first, and then they were all on me at once, licking me and squirting more whip cream and syrup on me, and licking it off again. It was fun. They didn't bite, so, I was glad for that."

In my mind, I remembered Anna, the blushing bride, covering my mouth with chocolate syrup and devouring it with hers, licking and groaning into me.

Bella was holding a fork and breaking the sacred law of Chinese food at the same time, but I let it go. It was nice having someone to tell my day to, and she wasn't getting upset or disgusted with me.

"What are you _thinking_ while that's happening to you?" she asked in a nice way, not judging.

I gave a little laugh, answering, "Mostly – _Cold, cold, cold_! That's during the ice cream part, when they were all scooping different flavors out and dropping them on my body. Then, later, when they were licking it off, I was thinking, _Thank you, thank you…warm, so warm. _And then, later on, I was thinking, _God, I'm sticky!"_

Bella chuckled at me during my answer but now she just stared at me, grinning, saying, "You know what I mean, Edward. Don't play dumb with me."

I grinned back, taking a bite of my chicken with my sticks while she twirled her fork into her noodles, placing them carefully into her open mouth, licking her lips quickly, afraid to have good all over her mouth with me sitting right across from her. Girls are like that. But I would love to see Bella's mouth all messy and shiny with sauce. I would lap it up in a second. But – wait – back to Bella's question.

"What is it you'd like me to say?" I asked with an extremely pleasant tone, even giving her a small smile, "That I was thinking, _please, someone help me_…_save me…don't touch me_…?" I used a small wimpy voice as I said those phrases and wondered what Bella would make of this now.

"I guess, something like that…I don't know." She muttered, going back to her food.

"I don't have any of those thoughts anymore, Bella." I said, not ashamed to admit that, "I shut those off a long time ago and now, I don't even have to think about it. They're just gone. I don't know exactly when it happened, but it did. I don't feel shame or modesty."

"Lucky." Bella said in a low voice, "I wish I could lose those."

"No you don't." I said sternly, and she looked at me, silently asking me something with her eyes.

I took a sip of my drink and made myself take a breath, adding, "Don't wish that."

"Alright, I take it back." She smiled, and got my smile in return.

I ate for a moment then she asked me, sounding more curious than analyzing, "What do you say when…they are doing that to you? Are there like, lines you always use, or…do you just say whatever comes to mind?"

"I usually go with what comes to mind." I replied, "Using the same old lines on people just takes all the real-ness out of it for me. And, this time, I didn't have to say anything, I was gagged."

She stopped in mid bite and glared at me.

"Gagged?!" she half-shouted, sounding shocked. Then she looked around, hoping no one heard her utter that word.

I nodded, chewing.

"With what?" she probed further, making herself whisper now.

If I could blush, I might have.

I leaned in and whispered back to her, copying her, "A banana."

"Oh my G—" she looked around, blushing, whispering lower, "A banana? Peeled?"

I almost laughed, what difference did THAT make?

"No, _unpeeled_." I answered honestly, "It's better that way, it doesn't get so mushy then and it stays hard longer. It wasn't all that planned out, I just went to yell out for a second when the ice cream hit my…crotch…and one of them said, shut him up and before I knew it, there was a banana hitting the back of my throat. I guess I could've spit it out easily enough, but they told me to keep it there."

"And you did." She finished for me, staring at me, almost like I was an alien.

Shrugging, I nodded and bit my bottom lip for a second, taking another bite of my chicken.

"You are just…amazing to me." She said, drinking through her straw.

I like watching her suck on it. God, my mind is constantly in the gutter. No wonder she looks at me like I'm another species. Maybe I am.

I smiled and began to steal pieces of her shrimp off her plate, popping each one into my mouth as she tried to guard her precious seafood from me.

"HEY YOU!" she protested with a giggle, "Ever heard of boundaries?"

"No, never." I teased, taking another one.

"Punk!" she squealed, unable to keep me out with her defenses.

"Here, I'll give you a bite of mine." I offered, taking a medium sized piece into my chop sticks, "No hands, just open up."

She pinked a little bit in the face and let her hands sit at her sides, opening her mouth slightly, leaning towards me.

Damn it, I'm hard now. God, I hate my dick, it's the easiest bitch in New York.

"More." I demanded with a crooked smile as she obeyed, "Good little Bella. Here you go."

I placed it inside with care onto her tongue and she began to chew it. I watched intently, and then a few seconds in, she began to widen her eyes and rush to drink her soda, drinking a lot of it.

I chuckled, "Oh no…Bella…too hot?"

I laughed for a second more as she finally let go of her straw and panted a little.

"Wow…very hot…" she shared between her breaths.

"Sorry, baby." I truly apologized, "I thought you'd like it. But at least you tried it. I'm very proud of you. And that reminds me…"

She looked at me, blankly, a deer in the headlights.

"In the next couple of weeks, " I began, looking at her food, then to her, "There are going to be things…things I would like us to try. Nothing too wild, but, I think we should talk about it first, and agree that you are alright with it before I perform it on you. Like, let's just say right now, if you want me to stop, I want you to say the words…_lo mein_. This way, you can still scream no and struggle and have fun while we're playing, but I'll know you don't really want me to stop."

She was red now but smiled at me.

"That's for later, in our time, if we ever get to that level of play. We don't have to, if you don't want to. Like I said, it's all up to you. Maybe you could even write down for me before you leave for school, just one line, something you'd like me to do with you that night. How's that sound? I see you don't like to SAY what you want, so perhaps that will work for you better. What do you think?"

After a long pause, she finally spoke and whispered, "I like those ideas. That's very…observant of you…and nice….Edward."

I pleased her. YES! And I was still hard as a rock, why did I say scream and struggle ? That always wakes up Eddie Munster. I wanted to get to that rape fantasy scenario with Bella. Bad. But I knew I'd have to wait a little while to get to that level of trust with her. That game takes real trust on her part. And she was still very nervous and shaky around me still. I would have to wait a bit.

When she no longer shakes or stutters around me, I will start to plan that game.

"Hey, you know," I just realized aloud as I ate, "I never asked you any questions today."

Bella tensed a little then made herself loosen. Ah, maybe she is learning something from me after all…relaxing.

"I wondered when you'd remember that." She sounded caught, as if she had done something naughty, "Go ahead."

I had been running some great role play plans in my mind with her but needed some more information before I'd spin them into realities. I should've gone slower but my brain forgets about "normal people" sometimes, and since Bella had been talking to me so openly and freely earlier, I just forgot to be delicate.

"Have you sucked cock before?" I asked as she was sipping her soda.

A horrid choke sound erupted from her throat and she spewed out a spray of coca cola at me as I felt myself fly back a bit.

Her face was purple and she was covering her mouth with one hand now, the other hand patting herself in the chest to loosen up whatever was killing her.

"BELLA!!" I got up and went behind her, slapping her back lightly, "Bend over a little…good." I kept rubbing and smacking her back until finally, after a minute, she quieted and started to breathe normally again.

Her eyes were wet and she wiped them with her napkin, blushing again as I leaned in to look closely at her face, "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine." She muttered quietly.

The waitress, the only other one in the room with us now, was standing a couple feet away, concerned.

"She's alright." I said to her, "Thanks. Maybe…some water, for her? Thank you."

I reluctantly took my seat and looked at her, feeling so horrible. I almost killed her with my cock question. I wonder if that would stick in a court of law.

"Honey, I'm sorry." I purred, meaning it, "Are you sure you're alright, Baby?"

"I am fine." She gritted through her teeth, grinning at the waitress who gave her a glass of water.

"Sorry about that." Bella looked at me with embarrassment, "See, this is why I wished my shame away."

"It's okay, I like you this way." I informed her honestly, "It was my fault, I shouldn't have asked so…quickly like that."

She took a deep, cleansing breath and peeked up at me, smirking a little, and then began laughing at herself. I love that. She is really a cool person. I like Bella Swan. So much. I laughed, too, for real.

"You owe me a new shirt. Look what you did to me." I now looked down at my shirt with the dark dots of soda splattered everywhere as I wiped myself off with my napkin.

"I'm sorry." She giggled, helping wipe me off, almost standing to reach me.

"I don't forgive you." I teased, laughing too, "You will have to make me forgive you later."

"Oh yea, how am I supposed to do that?" she played a little. Good, Bella!

I raised a brow at her, "Oh, I'm sure you have your ways. I am starting to suspect you're not as innocent as you seem after all. There's a little harlot in there just dying to get out. And when she does, I think I'm going to be in a lot of trouble."

She just laughed at that remark and began to eat again, this time being very cautious.

"So, are you going to answer me?" I looked at her, taking a sip of my own coke, waiting.

"Ummm…" Bella looked away at the empty tables behind me, "Yes."

Is that all I'm going to get ? Yes?

"Would I be able to just answer yes to one of your questions, Dr. Bella?" I asked, knowing the answer to that one, "Be fair, Bella, elaborate please."

She exhaled. "I have had a couple…boyfriends…during high school. I didn't want to…sleep with them, I wasn't ready. But…I did…perform…oral on a couple of them. That made them stick with me for awhile, until they found someone else who'd do more. So….yes."

She looked as if she just admitted to molesting young children. Her head dropped into her hands and she couldn't look at me now.

"Hey." I half frowned, staring at her, "Hey, look at me, Bella."

She looked into my face and I gave her a warm smile. "Don't be ashamed, Bella. Nothing you say will shock me or turn me off or anything. Okay? That's our agreement. I will open up to you and you can open up to me. Alright? I'm glad you've done things, it's good. It means you're alive and sensual and I love that. And I'm glad you've done that particular thing. It gets me hard thinking of you doing things to me. Did you like doing it? Just say it, don't hide."

"Yes." She answered, smiling at me like a little girl, so proud of herself.

I felt my mouth smile back before I knew it and I purred, "Excellent."

I had another question now.

"I have a follow up question." I warned her, taking her soda away and placing it next to my end of the table, then I took her fork away. She was giggling at me.

Then I asked, "Swallow?"

"I did, I have nothing in my mouth, you can ask it." She giggled at me some more.

"No, my question is – _swallow_?" I made my eyes turn smoldering, to give her a hint.

The lights went on inside her eyes and she covered her mouth, shocked again, laughing.

After a few seconds, she nodded. With a sly smile, I handed her soda back to her and her fork, not saying any more on this subject. I didn't want to murder her.

"See, you're not that innocent." I joked, purring my words at her.

She stuck her tongue out at me then, the perpetual child.

"Don't stick that out unless you plan on using it on me and don't make me think up little girl fantasies, I don't like those." I feigned sternness, pointing at her.

"Why not?" she asked.

"I just don't like them, that's all." I was almost finished eating and didn't offer any more information to her on this. Change the subject. Don't let her get near this.

"So, my next question…" I decided to change things all the way around, away from this spot, "Do your friends know that you bought me yesterday?"

I asked this smiling and in a joking way.

"Oh God…" she shook her head, smiling as she ate, "Yes, I told them."

Then she looked scared suddenly, looking at me, "Oh God, is that allowed? I didn't mean to…will it get you into trouble?"

"Shhh shhh shhh!" I stopped her, then smiled, "It's okay if they know. I don't mind."

She looked so relieved and went back to eating. "You should've heard them. I never knew _that_ side of them before."

"What side?" I let my eyes widen at her, acting shocked, "What did they _say_?"

"I hate even repeating it." She avoided my eyes, eating, "I thought they'd call me names or something but instead they just kept asking if they could play with you, too."

I laughed, not surprised at this. I was often shared by two or three women, them all being girlfriends.

I was asking because I wondered if maybe she was fantasizing about sharing me with those two girls. Lots of best friend groups had this fantasy.

"It was really embarrassing." Bella peeked up at me again, "I guess it really shows what people are really capable of, deep inside, when you work in this…business. You must always see the inner parts of people, doing what you do. It bothered me a little, seeing my friends like that."

I swallowed my coke and moved my jaw a bit, loosening rice out of a back tooth for a second, "I see women clearly, if that's what you mean. The good, bad, and ugly. Women don't show their true selves to their boyfriends or husbands. But I see them."

She looked me over closely and took a minute to ask, "Which one am I?"

I gave a chuckle and smile at her, then honestly replied, "You are the _good_, Bella."

She blushed and looked down, then raised her eyes back at me.

"What do you _really_ think of me, Edward?" she dared herself to ask.

Wow. What a brave question.

"I mean, no bullshit." She said, surprising me , "You can say anything you want, just…I can take it. I want to know."

I sat back in my chair, folding my hands and resting them on my chest, letting her stew for a moment while I let my eyes wander over her. She waited, endlessly, as if she were being mentally tortured.

"You are good." I began, "But you want to be bad. Not very bad, just slightly. You think of yourself as plain and nothing extraordinary. You prefer being in the background, behind the scenes. You hate lots of attention. You're very smart and that scares you. Your brain keeps stupid boys away so you believe yourself undesirable. You are extremely sensual and curious and want to explore your desires but have not had a chance to do so. You are warm and loving. Your body is gorgeous. You always smell incredible. Your touch is soft and shy, and innocent. Your voice is deep and throaty and sexy as hell. You make noises that make my body ache. And, Bella, there is nothing plain about you. You _are_ desirable."

She had tears in her eyes, hearing my assessment. She said nothing but just looked at me in wonder.

"Oh." I added, "And you are a klutz and talk too much."

She laughed and so did I. And it was wonderful.

"Well, _that's_ true." She giggled.

"It's all true and you know it." I sat up and took a sip of my drink.

"Wow." Bella couldn't say much at the moment, her mind working behind her eyes, "How do you know I'm a klutz?"

"This morning…" I said casually, "when you tripped over my shoes and landed flat on your tits."

Her mouth fell open and I couldn't hold the laugh in for long. It burst out and she joined me.

"I thought you were asleep!" she hit my arm, already into beating my poor little body.

"I was until that!" I chuckled, "But my favorite was, watching you crawl to the bathroom naked. That was a Kodak moment."

"Oh shit." She hit the table, embarrassed but letting me laugh.

"I hate you." She blushed and pretended to be mad at me.

"Awww…" I tried to get her legs in my legs under the table, "You do not…don't say that. You hurt my little feelings!"

"Good!" she squirmed, trying to free her legs from within mine as I grabbed at her kneecaps, tickling her.

"Be nice to me…tell me I'm the greatest." I said, toying with her.

"NO!" she laughed.

"Tell me I'm hot, come on, tell me how much you worship me, I can handle that kind of criticism. Come on." I prodded her.

"NO! LET GO!" she squealed and laughed. I was really squeezing her kneecaps now, making a mental note. She was very ticklish here.

"Say it." I demanded, "Say it!"

"ALRIGHT!" she squealed, "Alright, I worship you, you're VERY HOT! I WANT YOU, OKAY?!"

I released her, getting my answer.

"Was that so hard?" I asked, "Jeez, I gave YOU a whole speech about yourself and I get _nothing_."

I was teasing her and I thought she knew that.

Then she said, "You are impossibly fast…and strong. Your skin is ivory white like marble…but warm. I know that's probably because…you don't go out too much into the sunlight. You hide yourself in dark places: clubs, dungeons, bedrooms. Your eyes…are a wonderfully strange emerald color I've never seen before. They change colors. When you laugh they look lighter and sparkle. When you're sad or angry they get a little darker. And the way you speak…sometimes…it's like…you're from another world. You have had so much pain, sometimes you look like you're 100 years old inside. How old _are_ you?"

My voice almost didn't work. Everything she was saying about me was true. But she was leaving all the bad of me out and we both knew it. She would say it soon and I braced myself to take the impact of it.

"Twenty-six." I answered, my voice sounded scratchy and hollow.

She looked at me with sorrow in her eyes again and took a breath, going on with her inventory of me.

"You think your only worth is in your face or your body." She went on, "You think there is nothing inside you. You think very little of _you_. You long to please everyone else except _yourself_. You are in a lot of pain but you smile and laugh and play. You wear a good mask. But that's only to keep people away. You don't want a girlfriend. You use your profession to scare them all off. Even that girl who threw the drink in your face. You must've said your profession to her in a purposely vulgar way to get rid of her, because maybe you found yourself liking her a lot and that scared you. You are funny and sweet. Your voice is beautiful. It…does things to me. You sing like a sad angel, the most beautiful song I ever heard came from you, in the shower. You long for family. You are a loyal and true friend. And…(she hesitated a second)…you are worth _so much_, Edward. You are priceless and unique and special. I wish you _knew_ that. And I don't _want_ to share you with my friends. I want you all to myself, for as long as I can have you. I hate it when people hurt you. I want to save you but I don't know how. I love the way you look at me and touch me all the time and I love the way you hold me at night. I love your kiss. And I want to give myself to you. And it's not because of your body or your perfect face. You _are_ beautiful…_inside and_ outside."

I just sat there, lost. For once I didn't know what to say. It took guts for her to say all those things. But I already knew she was brave, taking a strange man into her home, into her life.

I wanted to cry but I turned that right off, not wanting to show her my emotion, the depth of my feelings. Whenever I did that, I got hurt, worse than any whip or chain, and I just didn't have anymore tolerance for this kind of pain.

On the outside, I can bruise and bleed and that's okay…but if I take one more hit to my heart I don't think I can make it. Internally, my hands were up, in self defense, protecting my broken, closed up heart. Women like Bella are the most dangerous of all, the most lethal. They make you fall in love with them and then they ruin your life. They don't mean to…but they do.

"Oh." She said, "And you're a brat, a shrimp thief and a fan of Sponge Bob Squarepants."

We both looked at each other and burst out laughing. We laughed for a long time.

We sat and didn't talk for a few minutes. A lot had been said by both of us, too much. But, still, it was nice to hear. Even if it wasn't true.

"Bella?" I asked, not hungry anymore, "I want you to promise me just one thing, okay? Don't get mad."

"Sure." She smiled back at me, pleasantly.

"_Please_ don't fall in love with me." I tried not to plead as I looked into those amazing eyes of hers, "Promise me that, _please_."

She looked at me with this strange look that I couldn't read.

She huffed, "I'm _not_ in love with you, Edward. I just wanted you to know what I think of you. All that I said is true. I told you I'm your _friend_. "

I breathed a sigh of relief and grinned, "Good. I mean, I thank you for all those things you said. I appreciate all of that. But it wouldn't be good for you…to start to have…those feelings for me. Don't misunderstand. I meant all the things I said to you, too. I do want you and I can't wait to experience all the things you want. And I do love belonging to you, like I said."

"I know, Edward." She smiled, looking fine, "I love _having_ you."

"Good." I repeated, feeling as if a weight had been lifted off me. She's not angry with me, thank God.

The waitress came over and asked if we wanted any dessert. Bella said she was stuffed and so was I.

I paid the bill with a generous tip and then she placed two plastic wrapped fortune cookies in the center of our table, wishing us a good night.

"Oooh, I love reading my fortune." I smiled brightly at her, seeing her return it to me. I unwrapped my cookie and closed my eyes, being my child self to cheer Bella up after our heavy words earlier. She was unwrapping hers now, slowly, watching me act like a 5 year old kid.

I broke it open, opening my eyes and slipping out the little line of paper, holding it to my chest.

"You can't read it, it's private." I teased her, she had been leaning in, trying to look at mine, "Just read _yours_, little girl."

"Brat." She mumbled to me, cracking her own open as I peeked at my paper fortune.

It said: _Love is the only medicine for a broken heart._

Okay, why did my entire stomach just drop in one blob into my intestines? I feel like my chest is being stretched out from the inside. It's only a stupid fortune cookie, for Christ's sake! Breathe, Edward.

**Bella's POV:**

I opened my fortune cookie, hoping for a little advice with my problem here. I had just promised Edward not to fall in love with him but I was already there. After not even two days.

Then I had to act like I wasn't in love with him in the slightest and that took some doing on my part. I hope he bought it. Then I hoped he didn't. I hate my life.

About three things, I was absolutely positive:

First, Edward was a prostitute.

Second, there was a part of him – and I didn't know how dominant that part might be – that thirsted for my body and planned to do things to me, lots of different things in these next 12 days.

And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

I need help, fortune cookie, help me.

Mine said: _The one you love is closer than you think._

My brow creased and I felt it as I thought over what this meant. I know how close he is, he's right in front of me. But does it mean that he's emotionally closer to me than I think? Or is this just talking about geography?

Stupid fortune.

EPOV

"Did you get a good fortune?" I asked her, she looked confused reading hers.

"Yea." She looked up at me, grinning, "I guess. What does yours say? Is it good?"

"Uh-uh." I played, holding mine to my chest, "You tell me yours and I'll tell you mine."

She looked at it and read, " A thrilling time is in your immediate future."

"Oooh, " I smiled at her as she blushed hard, "It KNOWS what's in store for you, Bella. And it's _so_ right."

"Okay, spill." She looked at me, a small grin there, "What's _yours_ say?"

"Uhhh…" I looked at mine, trying to think of something else to say instead of what was actually written there.

I didn't want to read it and have Bella think the way for her to cure my battered soul was to love me. That was crap and I didn't want her to love me. My life is a toilet and I'm a piece of shit . She deserves so much better than me. She likes me now because I'm pretty and I gave her seven orgasms – nothing more.

"Do you need help reading the big words?" she teased, laughing at her own joke.

I looked up and smiled big at her. That WAS a good one. I had to laugh, too. Go, Bella.

"No, I can read it." I stalled, "It says, the time is right to make new friends."

She smiled wider. "See? It knows what's good for you. And it's so right." She amended my statement a moment ago.

"Shall we go, fair Bella?" I stood up, getting her chair for her as she stood.

"Sure, thanks for dinner." She said as I slipped my fortune in my pocket, planning to save this for myself.

A little souvenir of my first date with Bella, a real date, my first successful date in 7 years.

"Anything for you, Bella." I said without thinking about it as I took her hand again, leading her back towards the subway.

See next chapter soon!

Love WinndSinger

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	8. Don't get Attached!

8

EPOV

On the way home on the train I began to discuss some ideas I had for Bella's first time with me. We sat side by side and I whispered in her ear, my hand touching her waist.

"Tonight?" I asked.

"Yes." She answered, whispering back into my ear.

"Are you sure?" I asked in a very hushed voice, "I can wait as long as you want."

_I CAN?!_ That's my penis talking again. Shut up, Eddie. Go to sleep.

"No, I am ready." She said with no hint of hesitation or fear, "I want to be with you, Edward. I'm not afraid. You don't have to treat me so fragile. I'm not a virgin and I know what I want. And it's you. I want you tonight."

I was so glad to hear that. I want to treat Bella gently and carefully, as she is new to all this but at the same time I want to have my way with her and play games with her, too.

When we got off the train and ascended the subway steps, it was pouring rain outside. Bella stood there, like she was going to wait for the rain to let up before going out there, but I couldn't wait. I grabbed her, flung her over my right shoulder, and ran out into the wet streets, beginning the 10 block walk back to her place.

We were getting soaked and Bella was screaming and kicking pretty hard, but I couldn't stop laughing. I felt like a kid again, somehow. Only a happier and more carefree kid than I ever was before. Being with Bella is so easy.

When we got there, it was already beginning to get dark outside, with the rain clouds dark and gray overhead.

I was going to let her walk up the stairs on her own, not knowing if she had a fear of heights or anything. She was backing away from me, dripping wet and giggling as I slowly moved up the stairs after her, clutching at her cold, wet shirt. It was sticking to her body in all the right places. I wish she wasn't wearing a bra. I love wet nipples through a t-shirt.

I got close enough to grab her lips with mine and I delivered an intense, half-rough kiss, grabbing her hair in both fists, trying to control my strength with her in my claws.

She yelped and fell back on the carpeted red step and I laid on top of her, pinning her under me there as my wet hair rained down upon her.

"Great idea, Bella," I growled, "Let's do it right here on the stairs."

"Uhh, NO." she turned bright neon red, pushing me off her a bit, "I don't think Mrs. Nevitz would appreciate that. Come, wicked."

She got away from me and ran up the stairs now and I growled and chased her, matching her speed. She screamed, laughing as I caught her and flung her over my shoulder again like the caveman I am.

If she was trying to escape, she was being bad and now I had no problem carrying her up the stairs to her tiny room in the tower.

Screaming a little more, she grabbed onto my shirt in back, crying about how she doesn't want to fall.

"I guess I understand why you're so nervous." I said calmly, moving up the stairs, holding onto her securely. She would never fall out of _my_ arms, but I said, "Your view of that long drop down the stairs can't be pleasant at all. Poor little Bella."

"EDWARD!!" she yelled, kicking her legs a little bit as I got to the top of the stairs now, going to her door.

I used my key and opened the door, kicking it open as I brought my girl inside.

Well, at least I carried her over the threshold. That's romantic, isn't it?

The thunder boomed suddenly but she didn't pay any attention. To me, it seemed like the demon everyone calls God was up there, angry, trying to warn Bella what the penalties are for fucking a whore.

But the moment we got in the door we couldn't keep our hands off each other. I pinned her against the wall in the kitchen, kissing her hard, getting her eager kiss in return.

We should've been shivering and cold, being so wet, but I felt warm…and getting warmer as I felt Bella's hands yank up the wet shirt that clung to me. I moved back a step, letting the shirt pull up and off me, breaking our kiss for one second, but then my lips came back to hers even stronger, slamming her back into the wall again with a dull thud as she moaned out loud.

She whimpered as I returned the favor. I wanted her shirt off, too, but didn't want to lose her mouth on mine so, I just tore it down the middle. It was too easy. She yelped as I threw the wet ball of ruined shirt to the linoleum floor and began to search for the hook to this goddamn bra she always insisted on wearing. I swear, I'm going through her drawers tomorrow and hiding all her bras.

"In back." She panted, in between kisses. I got there fast and unhooked it without any trouble, knowing my way around these things. I yanked the bra off as she moaned and I grabbed her hair again in one of my fists, the other hand on her breast, squeezing and clutching in pure need.

It was completely dark in here, only the occasional flashes of lightning revealing each of us to the other as I lifted her up a bit, curling her legs around my hips and holding both my hands under her sweet, wet ass, carrying her to the bedroom as she kept kissing me with all the passion I accused her of earlier.

"Don't stop kissing me…" I breathed in between her deep, hungry mouth.

"Never.." she panted back, filling my mouth with her tongue as her hands dug into my soaked hair that hung over my left eye a bit.

I got her to the bed and we both fell onto it, her on her back and me on top of her. Her legs opened and I grabbed for the button of her jeans, opening it and moving the zipper down fast, yanking the right side down roughly as she moaned and yelped, sounds that were fast making me an animal.

This was wonderful but not the way I wanted our first time to go. So I had to change things a bit, for her sake.

"Bella." I said, hardly getting the word out between her kisses, "I want you in control tonight."

"Hmmm?" she wasn't listening much, her legs wrapped tight around my hips and her pelvis was raising up and down, pushing against my stiff cock.

"It's you tonight." I said, moving to my knees on the bed and pulling her jeans off.

She laid there, smiling up at me as I used both hands to slide up her little cotton panties, giving her hair there a nice stroke as she made this little kitten sound, and then I slid them down off of her, her cute feet moving up and out of them at last.

I unbuttoned my jeans and slid them off, revealing my black cotton bikini underwear as she smiled more at me.

I took these off, too, tossing them to the floor and coming back in towards Bella.

I kissed her again, with all the energy I had before and her leg was curling around my waist again.

"No, no." I gently scolded, smiling, "Bad girl. Come here."

I moved her so that I was laying on my back now, in the center of the bed, and she was on top of me, sitting on my hips.

"My hands will stay right here at all times." I informed, holding onto the ivory porcelain headboard, a design of roses and vines there, "You are in control, Bella. THIS time. Do anything you like to me."

This made her happy and I had a feeling it would. I was sure her first time, the 33 second marathon was all about him just being on top of her, sticking it in and bouncing until he came and then pulled out and left her totally humiliated and unsatisfied. This experience would be very different for her.

I closed my eyes, a pleasant smile on my lips as I waited for Bella's touch.

I would surely be taking charge and would be in control in our next few encounters, so it was only fair that this first time, I let her hold the reigns. It would also tell me a lot about her, letting her drive.

She moved over for a second, but didn't get off me yet. I peeked at her and she had my red t-shirt, folding it into a long rectangular piece. Smiling and leaning down, she kissed me gently and then laid the shirt over my eyes, not tying it behind my head, just letting it sit there, hiding her from my view.

"I love this so far." I shared happily.

Some women scare the shit out of me when they blindfold me, snipping scissors near my ear, striking matches…Raven once sharpened knifes near me when I was blindfolded.

But I trust Bella. With her, I'm not afraid.

Before she did anything else, she dropped small, sweet kisses onto my lips, my chin, the dent upon it, and over every inch of my face, even my forehead.

"Edward…" she said as she kissed me, "You are not a toy…you are not property…you are a wonderful, beautiful man and I'm not talking about what I SEE. I mean YOU. I don't own you but…tonight…you DO belong to me. Is that clear?"

I felt her crawling up my chest and then her legs were on both sides of my head, a wonderful aroma lingering above me close by.

"Yes, Bella." I replied, my voice deep with feeling as my lips turned up at the corners a bit. I hope she can't hear it in my voice how much I love what she just said, false though it may be.

I waited for her to say something more now, I wish she would just say "Lick." Or something like that, but her little girl tongue wouldn't allow her to utter such things. Her voice only said loving and understanding words.

Again, I made it easy on her but in the future, no more leniency. She would learn to voice what she wanted before my time was up here.

I took one small lick, teasing her as she exhaled a sharp breath. I felt a little tug on the headboard and pictured her hands holding onto the top of it for support.

"Be good, Edward." She said in a very quiet voice, "You don't want to be punished, do you?" And her small laugh let me know she was playing with me now. Yea!

I took another longer lick, then stopped again, trying to stop myself from laughing.

"Alright, Edward, that's it." She warned one last time, "No Sponge Bob for you tomorrow."

"Mmmmm…" I made a little noise of protest and plunged my tongue up above me, finding soft, warm, wet skin, so delicate and thin and pulsing as I moved my mouth and swirled my tongue hard.

Greedy little girl. I guess seven orgasms weren't enough. I think I'm creating a monster here. But I couldn't be irritated with her. She was getting what she wanted and I was very proud of her. I wanted to see her do this more and more as time went by.

"Mmmmm!!" I growled and hummed as I was sucking and nibbling, making sounds for her as she was screeching and moaning and screaming for me. It was a beautiful duet we were doing together and I didn't want it to end. I would lick her all night again if that's what she wanted.

"Oh God, YES!!" she was yanking at the headboard, tugging it as she threw her head back a bit, her legs starting to go, against her own control they vibrated and convulsed beside my face as I kept moving my tongue as fast as I could, right in that spot along the side of her clit that she loved so much.

"Ohhh, yes, EDWARD, YES!!" she screeched and heaved breaths like a hurt tigress now, "DON'T STOP, DON'T FUCKING STOP EDWARD, PLEASE!!"

I love when women get this hot, they curse like sailors. Especially the innocent ones who never curse like this in their everyday lives.

My hands stayed trapped in the headboard, and I lapped at the warm, milky juices that were slowly flowing from my goddess. I moaned right out, loving her taste, it was so much sweeter than most other women I've known. I wonder what her secret is. It must be something she eats.

My Bella was coming hard now and I was glad. I kept kissing the sensitive lips above me as she began to relax and come down from her orgasm. She yelped and flinched away, so sensitive to the least little touch now.

The blindfold was taken from my eyes then and I felt her wiping off my face, my mouth. She smiled down at me and held the t-shirt over my lips for a second.

"Mmmm." I made a little sound beneath it, pleasure and helplessness at the same time, turning my eyes smoky and heavy on her, wanting her but unable to beg for her right now.

"Your turn." She smirked and returned the blindfold over my eyes as she moved down my body, kissing places along the way, her wet hair trailing wetly down my skin as she went.

I waited as if it took 100 years for her to get there. My fingers tightened around the hard edge of the headboard where I was holding it. I felt her soft gentle hand curl around the shaft of my cock and begin to slowly move it up and down.

"Uuuhhhhhh!!" I groaned hard right away, arching my head back as my spine curled up a bit also on its own.

Now I was panting and squirming like a girl, trying to be still and calm, but failing miserably.

"Do you like it slow…" she asked softly, moving it slower as I moaned some more, "Or…do you like it fast?"

And then she was jerking me up and down at a much faster pace, making me want to scream.

"BELLA." I winced, my arms shaking hard, trying not to let go of the headboard.

"Well?" she made her hand move slower now, "Which is it?"

I couldn't decide. They were both wonderful. And all the while, I knew it wasn't what Bella wanted to hear, but, I wanted whatever SHE wanted. Maybe she is right about one thing. I don't even have my own opinion anymore. Hmm.

"I want to hear what YOU want, Edward." She said, "If you don't tell me, I'm going to stop and we can go back to therapy session time."

"No, no!" I whimpered, trying to decide what I liked more.

"Well, then, tell me." She pushed, "You have ten seconds."

She was doing it faster now and that was driving me wild. But slower will let me last longer and she can maybe lick and suck me during slower.

"Five seconds…" Bella warned.

"Slower, slower!" I chose and felt a little hot and sweaty now.

"Good boy." She moved slower as I panted and put her lips right on the tip of my penis, sucking for one second and licking a drop of moisture from the head.

I growled out in lust as she went MMMMMM in appreciation, liking the taste of me.

Moving me up and down in a very slow, smooth motion, she finally asked me, "Would you like me to suck you, Edward?"

No, not really. Let's go play checkers instead. YES, I WANT YOU TO SUCK ME!!

"Yes, Bella…please…" I breathed hard, needing it now, like air.

Teasing me, she began taking small licks up my shaft just like I had done to hear earlier. She is paying attention, I have to give her that, and now she's doing the same exact things to me, showing me what it's like. Fast learner.

My eyes were closed, even though the shirt was covering my eyes. Please, please, I prayed to Bella, my goddess, please do it…it's so sensitive all of a sudden, usually it takes a lot to get me so wired and frenzied. But Bella had made me that way in a few moments.

"Please…" I whispered, groaning and clenching my teeth as she took a huge, long lick up the entire side of me, circling her tongue around the head and sucking her lips hard around it as I shouted out, without words, turning into a mindless thing, just reacting to the stimulation and velvet roughness of her tongue.

"So big…" she said softly, "I hope I can do a good job here."

All I could do was grunt and groan as she kept moving me up and down, licking and sucking only the head at the moment. It was killing me with pleasure, the head is super sensitive and she was teasing the hell out of it.

I wanted to yell at her to take me into her mouth but I bit my bottom lip, holding it in.

"I guess I'll put you out of your misery, Edward." She said caringly, and a second later her mouth was all around me, wet, hot, tight. Sucking, licking, stroking.

"SHIT!!!!" I moaned and panted, my eyes opening wide against my will as the redness of my shirt stared back at me.

"GOD! DAMN! IT !" I heaved as she moved her mouth and tongue up and down a bit faster now, the pumping with her hand continuing at the same time. Then I felt her other hand cupping my balls.

She was killing me and I loved it!! I guess here, in this department, Bella knew what she was doing. See, it's always the quiet ones…

"BELLA!! Bella!" I sneered through gritted teeth.

She ignored me and kept working me like an expert, moving up and down harder and harder now, my entire shaft in her mouth. Every so often, I felt my head hit the back of her throat and I half-screamed out from that raw sensation.

And I could hear her sounds while she was pleasuring me, small gags, moans, MMMMM's, all pushing me further to the edge.

"Oh fuck, Bella, I'm gonna cum!" I sneered, warning her in case she wanted an out before that happened. Some women don't care to swallow.

But this made her go FASTER and harder! I shouted out in my most masculine sounding voice, waiting…feeling my whole body convulsing in ecstasy and lust.

I felt myself explode hard and hotly and I stiffened, hoping this wouldn't disgust Bella. But instead, I felt a rush of new pleasure as her mouth kept sucking and her throat swallowed me down.

And she started licking and sucking the head now. NO GOD!! Too fucking sensitive now for that.

I writhed and bucked as I growled and then Bella gave a soft laugh, stopping that and laying beside my legs below, her lips placing kisses up the cuts of my pelvis.

"God…." I moaned, still limp and feeling weak, but in a glorious way.

"Did I…do alright?" she asked, as innocently as a 1st grader. Who does she think she's fooling?

"No, that was _terrible_." I joked, "I just came like that because I felt sorry for you."

She laughed and pinched her fingernails in my inner thigh.

"OW!!" I laughed, almost taking my hands off the headboard, "I was kidding! Kidding! Yes, you did – _alright. _Fucking amazing, Bella! I don't think I've ever come so hard like that – ever. Really!"

"Well, you deserve it." Bella replied, not taking my blindfold off yet, "I wish I could give you six more like that, like you did for me."

"Seven." I corrected, "I've given you eight now."

"Thanks, Mr. Count It." She said, stroking between my legs with one hand.

"You're welcome, Mrs. Suck It." I quipped, smiling and trying to get my breathing to calm a little more.

"Can I lay down on you?" she asked.

"Always." I replied.

She climbed up and laid her warm, naked body directly on top of mine, her breasts two hot circles pressing into my chest as she laid her head down under my chin. Her hair was still wet and cool but that felt good against my red hot skin now and I could feel her wet little pussy against my satisfied, sleeping cock.

It wouldn't be very long before he'd awaken again but I didn't know how to tell Bella this. A few minutes was all he needed, unlike a lot of men who usually needed 15-20 minutes. Yes, I'm a freak. Franken-cock.

"I am starting to see why people always shove things into your mouth." She picked on me as she relaxed there upon me, "You talk a lot, too, like me."

I grinned, "Well at least I'm not asking you if you need to go to the bathroom."

We both laughed for a couple minutes and she said, "I like the way you scream and grunt. It turned me on so much it made me go faster and harder than I've ever gone before. You inspired me."

"Thanks, I think." I wished I could hold her but I had not been released yet by her words.

"Uh oh." Bella said, moving a little, "Someone is already back up."

I could feel my penis all standing at attention again, ready for more.

"Sorry, Bella." I began quietly, "It's just—"

"Shhhh." She put her finger over my lips, "Stop apologizing. I don't like it."

She's stealing my lines now. What a little thief. I smiled, unable to stop myself.

"Yes, Bella." I said in a deep voice.

"I'm going to let you see now." She informed, taking my shirt off my eyes. The one light on was soft and dim so my eyes didn't need much time to adjust.

Bella's body looked so beautiful there above me, so perfect.

"I might need your help, Edward." She whispered shyly, straddling me.

"Can I have my hands, Bella?" I asked, wanting to help with all my soul.

"Oh, yes," she made a confused face for a second.

I let go of the headboard and sat up a little bit, "Come here.", I said and took her lips with mine again, thanking her for making me feel so fucking alive. I took a fistful of hair into my hand and made it a long, deep kiss filled with emotion.

When I let her hair go, she opened her eyes, looking a little dizzy. I smiled and asked, "You alright?"

She nodded and blushed and grinned at me.

I rolled to the side of the bed and went into the nightstand drawer, where I'd put my condoms. I tore the foil with my teeth and slipped it on quickly with no problems. I could do that in my sleep.

Victoria is the only woman I could never use a condom with. She couldn't have children and she said she only slept with myself and Emmett. I would have questioned her about that but it was a rule of hers. Victoria didn't like condoms and if I insisted on wearing one, I was out. And Victoria had saved my life, I wasn't about to give her a hard time over it.

"I want you, Edward." She finally said the words, "Right now."

"Yes, Bella." I grinned, ready to be her teacher, "Have you ever been on top before?"

"No." she said with no shame.

"Alright, it's easy." I assured her, "Straddle me."

She blushed again, doing it, her pussy a bit in front of my erection.

"Move back a little bit." I guided, "Get yourself right over me."

I held the base of my cock and watched her timidly position herself in place.

"Good girl." I said approvingly, "Slowly let me in…sink yourself down…"

One of my hands stroked up her outer thigh as she obeyed my instructions…moving slowly…down…down…uhhhhhh, my head is in…penetration….yes….CHRIST, she is TIGHT! She wasn't lying to me about that.

She let out a little moan and whimper as she let me impale myself into her hot wetness. It felt like my cock was being squeezed as she reached all the way down to the base. I am inside her…completely. Paradise.

"Wait." I took her hands, wanting to just feel myself there, without moving, without anything distracting from this awesome thrill. We fit together perfectly. That's the only thought I had in my head at the moment and I couldn't argue or push it away.

She was making delighted sounds, also, maybe feeling it, too.

"Alright, Bella." I let her hands go, placing a kiss on each one, "Hold the headboard for leverage and at any pace you like, you can start moving up and down."

My fingers touched the back of her bare ass as she began to ride me, going slowly at first, taking her time to feel me and savor her own feelings at the same time.

"Ohhhh yeaaaaa…" I growled, letting her know everything below her in Edward-ville was happy and conent, "Ohhh, Bella."

"Edward…." She breathed, "I'm doing okay?"

"Flawlessly okay." I winced, biting my lip again, almost tasting blood, "You are so wet and tight, you're killing me, Bella. But it's SO good. Don't stop."

About fifteen minutes later, she was riding me pretty hard and I was thrusting up inside of her, clutching onto her ass and helping her move deeper and harder as her knees started to shiver a little.

"FUCK BELLA, FUCK !!" I was shouting, bucking my hips and slamming her ass up and down over my balls, the pounding sounds of the mattress battling the squeaking of the headboard as Bella moved it with her hands, breasts bouncing and mouth screaming right along with mine.

33 seconds. Not a very hard record to break.

"Ohhhh!!!" Bella was screeching and slamming herself down, "EDWARD!! OH MY GOD, EDWARD!!"

I was sweating and so was she. I could usually go longer than 15 minutes, but, she was so tight that I knew I couldn't hold out much longer.

"Hot little BITCH!!" I heard my voice snarling and heaving as she pummeled me harder. Yes, I can curse like a sailor when I'm hot also.

She was screaming so shrill and with no words that I suspected she was coming again. I was not far behind her.

"UUGGGHHHHHHH!!!!" I screamed out, feeling myself streaming into her, well, into my condom, actually. I couldn't move for a bliss-filled minute.

I was panting and exhaling like an animal that had just run 10 miles as I eased Bella's ass upwards, slowly, my eyes clenching as she raised all the way off of me now.

I gasped in relief and utter joy as she laid down beside me, in the crook of my arm that curled around her tight, holding her to me securely as we both fought to breathe, wordless and suffering side by side in the sweetest torture imaginable.

We were two quivering, wet, sweaty messes, but we clung to each other desperately, neither of us wanting to let go.

After about ten minutes, after I had slyly disposed of the used condom, I asked, "So…being on top was…good for you?"

"God, yes." She breathed, moving her damp hair out of her eyes, kissing my nipple and playing with it with her finger.

"Good." I reached into the nightstand drawer, "I think you've earned a little treat, then. Lay back."

She smiled up at me and frowned, confused.

But she did as she was told and I showed her one of my favorite little things.

It looks like a small little oval-shaped plastic egg, but very small. It has a thin wire coming out of one end and that it attached to a little palm sized white box.

"This is a brand new toy of mine, Bella, and it's just for you." I informed first, "It's not hard-core, it's very small and not scary at all. See? It's just a little tiny thing. Care to try it?"

"Alright." She looked curious, parting her legs a bit.

"If you don't like it, just say so and it's gone, okay?" I asked, kissing her mouth three times in a row.

"Okay." She closed her eyes and relaxed, trusting me completely now.

"You'll like this, though, I suspect." I assured, "Now, when I put it on, it's gonna make a little buzzing sound, but that's okay."

"Edward, I've heard of vibrators before." Bella opened her eyes and smirked at me.

"Alright, shut up, before I stick something into YOUR mouth." I grinned, turning the dial in my hand to low to begin.

I placed the tip of the oval egg right into place, right above her little wet clit.

It buzzed away, and Bella began to react right away. I smiled down at her, my leg curled around her right leg, keeping her legs parted a bit, not letting her escape it.

She was moaning and gasping, opening her wide eyes at me in disbelief.

"Told you you'd like it." I grinned over her, then concentrating on where I was placing the little egg next. I moved it slowly, finding different spots where I would stop and let it sit there, buzzing and vibrating away as Bella's screams began to intensify.

I increased the speed at times, then decreased it others, making her yell at me while I laughed to myself. I would bring her almost to orgasm then lower the speed at the last moment.

Three times I had done this and finally Bella was screaming at me.

"NO!!!!" she howled, "EDWARD, NO!! PLEASE!!! PLEASE!!!"

She clutched at my arms and I sternly held her down.

"Behave, you little bitch." I put a hand over her mouth and smiled at her to let her know I was playing with her, "You'll take it and be quiet or I'll put you over my knee. You'll come when I say you can come."

After a couple more of those teases, I did let her come – and come she _did._ HARD. Over and over and over again. She was soon screaming like a banshee after an hour of the little vibrator and then I yanked her up by her hair, getting her onto her knees, turning her ass to my hips.

"Time to make that fantasy of being taken from behind come true." I announced as her hair fell half over her face, my new condom in place as I bent her over and thrust myself inside her again, her screams like music to my ears.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

The next morning, at about 7:30am, I brought Bella breakfast in bed. I woke her up with kisses and petting and although she looked very happy and exhausted, she was also very hungry, too.

We sat in bed naked and ate like pigs for about an hour and then she said she had to shower and get ready for school. Today she would be home around 4pm she said.

Which worked perfectly because today at 12pm I had a pizza delivery with Paige.

I felt like a low-life shit going there today after last night with Bella. I wished I could blow off these day jobs during these two weeks I was Bella's but Victoria would tear my balls off. And I had endured Victoria's wrath before. It wasn't pretty.

Victoria got a small cut of whatever I earned but it was more about her reputation than just the money. Plus, she wanted complete control of her employees. If she said it, we had to do it. Or we were out. And I just can't be out. I need all the money I can earn. Working at Red Lobster will not pay the hospital bills.

Well, Bella did always say I could do what I liked while she was in class. I feel like I'm cheating. I don't like this. I FEEL myself getting attached already.

My internal brain shouted at me like a drill sergeant. Do NOT get attached, CULLEN! Do your job and stop acting like a BITCH!

ALRIGHT! I shouted back inside of me as she got dressed. I sat on the bed, wondering if I should tell her or not. She was very cool about the bachelorette party, but this was different.

"Hey." She smiled at me as she put her shirt on, "Are you okay?"

"Yea." I snapped out of my coma, smiling up at her, "I just…have another appointment today, at 12. Is it okay if I go or do you want me to stay here?"

"No, go." She rolled her eyes at me, going around the apartment and putting her notebook and things into her backpack, "Stop asking me all the time. I told you, I don't own you."

"I know but—"

She leaned in, kissing me deeply before I could say anything else. Kneeling on the bed, she grabbed my hair and wrapped her arms around my neck. I got six more baby kisses after that and Bella stared down at me with a loving pair of eyes.

"Last night was just…magic, Edward." She got all misty eyed as she spoke and I felt my own eyes begin to water, too.

"You've ruined me for anyone else, you know." She informed, kissing me again and I felt my arms tighten around her waist, my hands rubbing up and down her little back, touching the bottom of her hair.

I didn't know what else to say in response but my voice almost cracked when I said, "Bella…"

"I'm not in love with you, that's not what I'm saying." She assured me, looking away for a second, then kissed the tip of my nose, "I'm just saying that…you were…I can't even describe it. I'm just saying, when I'm old and gray, and sitting with my bald, fat husband watching Hollywood Squares…I just know I'll be thinking of you…dreaming of last night...and how good you feel…how you make ME feel…"

I felt my throat clench up and silence me.

"I don't know what I'm saying," Bella smiled, tossling my hair, "You no doubt fucked my brains out last night and now I have to go to school and try to THINK. No fair."

"Bella, I have to—" I began, about to tell her but a knock pounded on the door.

"Oh, there's the girls!" she giggled, squirming out of my arms and darting off to answer the door as my eyes closed. My head hurts. Why? Bella knows what I am, she bought me! Why is this bothering me now?!

I was wearing only my underwear when the girls came inside. I was sitting on top of the messed up quilt and sheets when they crossed the big open doorway of the room.

"Bella, did you study for the quiz on—" Alice was asking when they stopped and stared into the room at me. Rosalie was not talking, either, but smiling at me with a raised brow when I realized I was being looked over.

"Hi ladies." I perked up and smiled affectionately at them, not bothering to cover up or anything.

"Hi…Edward." Rosalie was gawking now and then Bella rushed over and grabbed them by their arms.

"Gotta run, we're late!" Bella shouted, getting her friends' eyes off my body, as I stood up and followed, wanting to say goodbye to Bella.

Alice spun around at the doorway and saw me standing there in my small white bikinis and her voice dropped five octaves lower when she exclaimed, "OH MY GOD!"

"Bella." I said low, not able to lose this feeling in my gut. I felt awful.

"Wait outside for me, guys, thanks!" Bella said, throwing them out and closing the door behind them.

"What's the matter, Edward?" Bella came over and held me, laying her face on my bare chest, "Do you feel alright?"

"Yes." I held her too, "But there's something I should tell you…about today."

"What is it?" she looked worried about me now.

"Come on, Bella!!" Rosalie pounded on the door as I frowned at it, "We have to study a little bit before class!! I know _YOU_ didn't have time to study last night!"

I frowned, looking down at her, "Did you have to study last night and you didn't?"

"It's not a big deal." Bella looked down, "It's only a little quiz."

"Bella…" I growled, not liking that, "I can wait for you from now on. If you have important things to do, you should do them first and then you can have me all you want. Alright?"

"Alright." She smiled up at me and I grinned down at her cute little mouth.

"I'll miss you." I heard myself saying to her and immediately regretted it.

Way too attached. Maybe it's good that I'm doing this pizza thing today. It will re-focus me.

I'll take a shower, I'll get back into my routine, and this feeling will go away.

"You will?" Bella smiled up at me, as I gave a weak smile, "I'll miss you, too."

"I should go, I'll see you at 4, okay?" Bella began to move towards the door, the girls still pounding for her.

"Okay." I gave a nod.

"Oh and for tonight…" Bella's eyes lit up, "I have a little plan. I'll tell you after dinner, alright?"

"Alright, Bella." I tried to smile more.

"Be good. See you later." She waved and opened the door, leaving me.

_Go to work_ – I ordered myself – and I went to the shower, washing all the wonderful scents of Bella off my body, feeling colder now, even though I was standing under steaming hot water.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

EPOV

I stood on her doorstep, holding my pizza in its box. My cap said "Johnnie's Pizza" and I wore a t-shirt and jeans, underwear, and sneakers.

Swallow. Breathe. Ring the bell.

I did and waited. I had been here before. This place was a mansion, but very empty and cold.

After I rang the bell for the third time, the door yanked open. And there was Paige, a 40 year old woman now, still attractive with only a line or two at the corners of her eyes. Long blonde hair, flawless make up, perfectly manicured fingernails, wearing an expensive long silk robe, black. She also wore a very large diamond ring and a wedding band.

"Pizza delivery." I smiled, about to hand the box over to her when she held the door open for me and turned, walking back into the huge, expensive looking house.

I stayed where I was, waiting to be paid.

"Come in, kid, I have to get your money." She called behind her and I entered, the wooden door closing on its own after I stepped just inside the doorway.

She was standing in her kitchen now, purse in hand, digging, looking for her wallet.

"How much is it?" she asked, sounding bored.

"$12.50, Ma'am." I answered, politely waiting, placing the pizza on the long wooden island in the center of the amazingly large kitchen.

"Rip off if you ask me." She muttered, taking out her wallet, "It's always fucking cold by the time you get it here."

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, I brought it right over, it should be hot." I began a little nervously, my eyes intimidated.

"How much would you like to bet…" she turned to me, her eyes annoyed, "that it's ice cold _again_?"

I gave a slight frown and looked confused as she yanked open the top of the box. The cheese wasn't melted or even remotely hot at all. It _was_ stone cold.

"Feel that." She challenged me.

I looked at it, then her, swallowing, looking more nervous now.

Carefully, I put a finger on the edge of it. I winced.

"Cold?" she raised a haughty brow at me.

"Yes Ma'am." I looked down a little, "Uh, let me return it and I'll bring you back a real hot one."

I began to walk towards the door but she grabbed the back of my shirt and yanked me back over to the island, slamming me over the pizza as my eyes widened.

"What are you doing?" I tried to straighten up but she grabbed my hair, sticking my face in the pizza as I yelled, trying to struggle a tiny little bit.

"Now if that was a HOT PIZZA, your pretty little face would be burning!" she yelled, "But it's COLD so all that means is that you're getting all messy!"

"Ma'am, please!" I tried to straighten but she held me down. My face was very close to the pizza now, but not touching. Only a little sauce was on my mouth and a little on my cheek, "I said I'm sorry. Please, let me get you another—"

"I am so sick of being screwed by people!" she sneered, taking a sharp knife out of a wooden block a couple inches away from my face. She put it near my cheek and said, "Give me your hands and if you try to run, I stab you in the face!"

I put my hands behind me, shivering a little as she opened a drawer nearby.

"Ma'am…" I began, "Please, I'm not trying to screw you…I just deliver pizzas."

"SHUT UP!" she shouted and I felt duct tape being coiled around my wrists, about five times around, then she bit the tape and tore it off, securing my arms.

"Get up!" she yanked me to my feet by the hair as I cringed and felt her throw me into the wall, my back against it.

She grabbed a large silver pair of meat scissors and grabbed my throat with her hand.

"What do you do instead of delivering my pizza on time, kid, hmmm?" she moved the tip of the scissors along my jaw, "What do you do, watch me take my shower? Is that it?"

"No, Ma'am, I swear!" I made my face look terrified.

She opened the scissors and placed them under my balls as I screamed out. Her hand clasped over my mouth and she whispered, "Admit it. I know you watch me."

She took her hand off my mouth and waited.

"Alright." I clenched my eyes, "I saw you showering and I watched. The whole wall is made of glass!"

"Well, you bought more than you bargained for, kid." She took the scissors and began to cut a straight line up my t-shirt, ripping the rest of it off me as I panted and trembled.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Giving you what you wanted." She put the scissors to my chest, "Hold still."

She stabbed the scissors into the wooden island and turned back to me, undoing my jeans and unzipping them. She took off my cap and threw it onto the floor.

"Oh God, please don't…" I frowned, breathing heavier, "I'm so sorry, please…"

"Shut up I said." She ignored me and pulled my jeans down to my ankles, then retrieved the scissors, opening them and sliding them into the side of my underwear, making a long crisp cut as I exhaled a hard breath.

Then she cut the other side, taking the ruined garment in her hand and smiling at me while I stared back in fear.

"Open." She danced the scissors around my throat.

I opened my mouth and she stuffed the underwear inside, all of it as I protested in muffled discomfort.

"Look at that…hard as a rock.", she grabbed my cock in her hand as I groaned out through the cotton in my mouth.

"Stay." She frowned at me in disgust and got the duct tape again, tearing off a nice long strip. I closed my eyes as she stuck it over my mouth, my lips completely hidden now beneath the silver strip that also ran along the entire lengths of my cheeks.

"Mmmmm" I tried to make noises through my gag. Paige likes that. Sounds like begging her to let me go, making my eyes very afraid.

"Yes, beg me." She squinted her eyes at me, "That's right. I'll listen to that while I'm sucking you dry, you little pervert."

"Mmmpphhhh!!!" I protested as she bit my nipple hard and dropped onto her knees, savagely sucking her mouth over my cock, even scraping it with her teeth as I stood there, eyes clenched, making muffles shouts and sounds of pain and protest…and pleading.

After a short while, she grabbed my penis and led me out of the kitchen. I muffled arguments through my gag as my feet, trapped by my jeans, could only move small little baby steps after her as she dragged me out to the dining room.

"Come on, follow me, sweetie." She cooed sweetly, "Shhhh, don't be afraid. I'll let you go when I'm finished with you, I promise."

"MMmmnnnn" I said, yanking my face to the left, trying to struggle as much as possible as she brought me to the fancy mahogany table in the dining room.

She untied her robe, taking the black silk belt of it and putting it around my neck, making a special knot so that when she pulled it tight, it would choke me a bit.

"There…very pretty." She moved her hand over my face and down my chest, pinching my nipples as I muffled a little scream and tried to look away from her, still resisting a little.

"Now…" she opened her robe and let it fall to the floor. Her body was fit and firm, plastic surgery on the breasts, definitely.

She laid on the table, on her back and pulled me forward, between her opened legs by my leash as I choked a bit, moving closer.

She remembered the rules, and sat up, taking a condom off the table and opening it, rolling it onto my ready penis as I tried to plead and beg again through my underwear gag.

"No…no!!" I tried to resist through the cotton in my mouth and throat.

"You are going to fuck me now, pizza boy." She demanded, "If I can't have hot pizza, I can at least get _something_ out of you."

She yanked my leash and it tightened hard. "NOW!!" she ordered angrily.

I got all the way between her legs now and inserted myself into her wet, ready pussy as she moaned and I muffled out a small whimper.

"Come on, that's it. Do a good job for once and maybe I'll let you go.", she put her feet up, resting them on the table as I moved myself back and forth harder, my hands still behind me the entire time. I'm glad I work out everyday and have good hips or else this would be near impossible for some men.

"Oh, YES! YES, YES!!" she was soon screaming out, taking it as hard as I could pound it, "Yes, fuck me harder, HARDER! SLAM me….you _hot FUCK_, YES!!"

With Bella, coming was very natural and easy for me. Right now, it was a little more difficult. But that was good news for Paige, it meant I had to keep fucking her until I came. It was a good half hour of her screaming and yanking the silk around my neck before I felt myself getting there.

I kept thinking of Bella from last night and that was helping me a lot. I imagined it was her on the table as I rammed into her over and over again, almost angrily now, wishing I would just come already so I could get out of here.

I let out a strangled, muffled cry as I felt myself ejaculate and seconds later, Paige's screams quieted then ceased.

"Mmmmmhhhhh.." I groaned, slowly pulling out of her with a little shiver as she smiled up at me, relaxing…not moving.

"Mmmm, pizza boy…" she purred, touching her breast, slowly sitting up, pulling me back closer to her by my leash. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed my chest for a few minutes. I made myself lay my head on hers, nuzzling her a little affectionately.

"You…are so sweet…" she ran her fingernails along my torso, gently now.

She looked up at me and both her hands caressed down my taped cheeks.

"Such a pretty face." She began to unpeel the edge of the tape from my skin, adding, "Such a pretty…everything."

And with one quick yank, she stripped the duct tape off my lips. My eyes bulged out hard as the pain grabbed hold of me.

Without a word of apology, she was pulling the wet underwear out of my mouth.

"There you go, sweetie." She acted like she did something nice for me.

"Thank you, Paige." I leaned in and kissed her mouth, getting her kiss in return.

Still making no move to untie my wrists behind me, she instead slipped the condom off me and walked away to get rid of it. I stood there, waiting for her to return, clenching my jaw a bit now that she wasn't in view.

In a minute, she returned and had the meat scissors in her hand.

"Turn around, sweet cheeks." She grinned as I turned my back to her and she stroked my ass, giving them a couple of light slaps before she cut me loose.

"There you go." She said again, helping me get the tape off my wrists.

This is one of the reasons I don't like much hair on my body.

"Thanks, Paige." I said again.

I began to pull up my pants and she watched me.

I turned around towards her and she handed me an envelope. I didn't need to check it. I've dealt with Paige for months now. She was rich and married and neglected and she always paid properly.

"You earn every penny, gorgeous." She complimented, "You really _did_ look so scared and humiliated. You're _great_."

I bet she doesn't even know my real name. She never says it.

"Thank you." I smiled, putting the envelope into my back pocket.

"Come take a shower, love." She took me by the hand and led me down the hallway towards the master bathroom.

"Yes, Paige." I smiled, curling my fingers around hers.

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Notes: I hope I don't get lots of mad reviews because of this last scene but this just shows a little more of the things Edward has to do and go through to live the life he does. Please don't be angry with him, it's all he knows right now. But if you notice, it is already starting to bother Edward, being with Bella, then going to work.

Give this time. I will have Edward discuss this in his next therapy session and see just how devoted Bella is to him. Or maybe Edward will pull away from Bella a little bit emotionally after he notices how this is bugging him.

Give me your opinion and let me know if you think Edward should tell Bella about this pizza job. Or maybe he'll keep it inside until later in the story?? What do you think?

Hope you are all still liking this. Sorry about the intensity of that last part. It's all just to show how sad Edward's jobs are. And she is not the worst customer. Wait til you see what Raven does to him.

Love ya !

Thanks for your reviews!

WinndSinger


	9. Her Name was Tanya

9

Notes: Thanks, again, for all the wonderful reviews! I get so inspired by your thoughts and ideas, too, so thanks for your input and support, I really do appreciate it and love hearing it, good or bad. And thanks, for understanding what I put poor Edward through in that last scene. But, as you said, it needed to be in there and I warn you now when Sat. comes and he has to go to Raven's…be strong and don't hate me. But maybe some good will come out of all that, so bear with me.

I know I'm doing a lot of Edward's POV lately, but I will try to get back to Bella's point of view in this also. Thanks again and I hope you enjoy this next chapter!

Love WinndSinger

EPOV

Thank god for gyms and barbells and sweat. I had finished lifting weights and had already done my 5 mile run, so I was nice and ripe and my gray shirt was dark with moisture under my arms and around my neck.

Now I was slamming my fist into the punching bag, the other swiftly following, piercing deep into its long, bulky hard surface.

Emmett held it in place for me as I took a breath and lunged into it again, fiercely.

"Alright, Edward, when are you gonna talk to me, bro?" he looked at me and smirked, as if he knew something.

"Talk about what?" I exhaled, pounding into the bag again, as if I were punching it in its stomach, one hand, then the other.

"Well, either this punching bag did something really shitty to you, and you're trying to kill it, or there's something else bothering you." He said, turning a little, holding the bag as I moved with it.

"I'm just working out, Emmett." I stated, boxing against the bag with two more jabs.

"Okay." He dropped it, then asked, "How are things going with that girl?"

"Fine." I said curtly, two more harder punches.

"Uh huh…" he gave me a knowing stare.

I ignored that and kept punching.

"Come on, man, it's ME." Emmett was staring at my face now, "Haven't I been there for you, Edward? You can talk to me, you know. I AM your friend."

I closed my eyes and felt guilty now, knowing he was right. I am building walls now all around me, even between me and people I thought I could trust. Emmett doesn't deserve to be locked out. He is a true friend.

"Fuck." I sneered, stopping with my punching, leaning my back against the wall, looking at Emmett now as he let go of the bag and took one step towards me, folding his arms, waiting, "Sorry, Emmett. I know you're my friend. I just don't open up very well."

"I know that." He chuckled, not surprised in the least by my confession, "So what's bugging you? Is that girl no good in the sack or something? She have unsightly body hair, what?"

I grinned at him despite my bad mood. But why am I in a bad mood? Nothing different had happened to me today. I do this all the time.

"No, she's AMAZING in the sack." I widened my eyes to emphasize my point, "And she's too beautiful…but…(I took a huge breath)…she…wants to talk to me all the time. She asks lots of personal questions. There's this paper she's writing or something, she finds me interesting and I agreed to let her study me or something…I thought at first it would be alright. I have no intention of telling her my whole life story, but, I thought some things wouldn't hurt to tell her. Only now…(I glanced at him)…I feel weird."

"Weird, how?" his brow creased in curiosity as he listened intently.

"My stomach feels in knots and my head hurts." I gave him the physical sufferings first, "And today, during a job, I almost couldn't even ring the bell. I felt like I couldn't breathe for a couple seconds. I mean, I never have a problem doing role play, especially with the woman today. She always got me off, right away, but today, it took a lot longer. She didn't mind, she got a nice long fucking but it bothered me. I mean, thank God I had to play the submissive part today, but what happens when I have to play the dominant personality, you know?"

"She's getting in your head, that's why." Emmett said, knowingly, "She's dredging up all these thoughts in your mind that you kinda buried and it's affecting you. You better be careful, Edward, if you turn soft, you won't be able to work and I don't even want to THINK of what Victoria would do to you then."

"Tell me about it." I almost shuddered, thinking of an angry Victoria, "And I have Raven this Saturday."

"Ouch!" Emmett chuckled, not envying me, "Well, at least with her if you scream, beg and cry, you'll just make _more_ money. Not that you have a choice to do that when she's got hold of you anyway."

"I have to make something up to Bella about that, it's on a weekend, she won't have any school." I thought aloud, "And I can't tell her the truth, she'd never let me go."

"LET you?" Emmett picked up on that one.

"Shut up." I frowned as he laughed a little.

"What if Raven doesn't let you go again, like last time?" Emmett asked.

"Victoria said she handled that." I heard myself reply, coldly, "Raven swore not to do that again, Victoria told me. If she does, Victoria promised me we'd never work for her again."

"And you believe her?" Emmett looked at me like I was a little girl believing in Santa Claus.

"Yes." I forced myself to say.

"That woman put you in the hospital, Ed!" Emmett reminded.

"Shut up, EM!" I nicknamed him as he had nicknamed me, "I told you, it's alright. Nothing bad is going to happen."

"Edward, all crap aside, " Emmett almost whispered to me, "Victoria is great, and I owe her a lot, and so do you. But don't trust her. She may be treating you real nice right now, but it's only because you bring the money in. She doesn't care if you get hurt, as long as you can heal and get back out there again to work. You know what she was asking the doctor at the hospital? How long before he can work again? How long will it take him to earn again? That's all. Raven was supposed to have you for one day – and kept you for three! Only then, when I yelled at her, did Victoria pick up the phone and call her, asking when she was giving you back. Oh, and she told Raven to keep you as long as she likes, but she would have to pay lots more. That conversation happened…while you were dying of thirst in a 90 degree basement and starving, as I recall."

"Victoria handled it." I stated again, knowing what Emmett was saying was true but not wanting to hear it voiced so clearly, "She taught Raven a lesson. Raven didn't work with us for 6 months after that stunt. Now she knows the rules. It'll be different now."

"You think in 6 months that woman lost all that sadistic shit in her head?" Emmett asked, then answered his own question, "No."

"Are you trying to help me or make my head hurt MORE?" I asked, getting annoyed.

"I'm just saying, if you want, you can tell Victoria no, that you don't want Raven as a client anymore." He said, "Take the beating that follows and forget it. It's better than what Raven would do to you. You know that."

"And then Victoria fires me." I finished, sounding irate, wiping my face with my towel.

"She won't fire you." Emmett looked at me, "You're her favorite now."

"Emmett." I growled, not wanting to hear it now.

"No, it's okay." He looked down at his sneakers, "I know it and I'm not mad at you, it's not your fault. You do a good job…a great job. You never complain, you never let anything bother you….until now. Even when you get attacked, you smile and hug the women afterwards. You're like a machine. You even amaze me sometimes."

"A machine?" I repeated, mumbling it more to myself. I hate the way that sounds…and it doesn't feel too great, either, having your best friend tell you you're a machine…a thing…a piece of equipment.

"It's alright." Emmett continued, "I had my turn as the favorite. I had a good run, 2 years. It's a nice ride, so enjoy it. Just remember to be gracious, like me, to your predecessor when it's time for you to step down from the throne."

He talked as if kidding, but I got his message. And in his way, he was being caring and a friend…but now I was just more confused.

"Hey, remember when I found you?" Emmett smiled as if recalling a nice memory.

In a second, flashes of memories came to mind. My body, wracked with pain, my arms held tight behind my back as the huge, burly man pounded his fists deep into my stomach. Sharp stabs of pain, my own voice choking and trying to breathe in the cold dark chilled air of January.

"We want our money now." The man holding me said pleasantly, "_Today_."

"I can get it…" I coughed, the taste of blood on my lips as I searched for something to say to make them give me more time.

I heard a click and as much as I physically could, I made my face look up, seeing a switchblade in the man's hand.

"Wrong answer." The man smiled and said to the one holding me, "Hold his face."

I struggled and panted as the one behind me roughly snaked his arm around under my chin, cutting off my air and holding my face up at the same time.

"WAIT!" I pleaded, the man with the knife was very close to me now, holding my chin firmly, "I swear, I'll get it. Tomorrow…just give me until then."

"Let this be a reminder to you, never screw with us…and never be late paying us back. Which eye do you want to keep?"

I couldn't move…or speak. I froze and tensed and my eyes clenched shut.

This is where I met Emmett. We were in the alley next to the back of Fire and Emmett was outside, in back of the club, having a cigarette break. Back when he smoked. Now he's eating apple wedges instead. It seems to be working.

Anyway, it was Emmett who smashed the man with the knife over the head with a metal garbage can and kicked the ass of the one who was holding me, too.

"Yes, I remember." I smiled.

"I know you don't always like to hear what I am saying, Edward." He put an arm around me, "But you know I'm just trying to help you, always. I protect all my friends. And I'll always protect you. Because I love ya, man."

"I know." I said honestly, "Thanks, Emmett."

"Say you love me too." He laughed, giving me a shove.

"I told you, I don't do gay scenes." I reminded with a chuckle.

We laughed and then I said quietly, "Love you, too."

Then we both looked around to make sure no other guy had overheard that.

I looked at the clock on the wall and it said 2:18pm.

"I've gotta go." I stood, "It's almost 3."

"Oh, yea." Emmett stood up, moving towards the punching bag to keep working out on his own, "How's everything going…with that?"

"Slow…but it's going." I said, not able to say much more. I don't even go into details with Emmett on this, and I've known him for years.

"She alright?" he knew to keep his questions vague and brief on this subject.

"She's an angel." I smiled to myself and went back towards the locker rooms.

She just needs her wings back, I thought as I began to undress, taking my shirt off, and wings are very, very expensive these days. I'd work for Victoria until I was 97 years old if that's how long it takes to make her right again. And besides the money part of it, I deserve whatever happens to me. I deserve Raven's wrath, even if it does go on for three days. I will never be able to suffer or pay enough for what I've done and what I haven't done.

The only thing I truly suffered inside of me, during Raven's three days of fun, was missing my phone call with _her_. It is what I live for. Hearing that soft, sweet voice in my ear, hearing her laugh and listening to all the little details of her day.

And, soon, she gets bored of talking to me and wants to go…too soon. I always want to talk forever but she has more important things to do. I understand that…but still, I always hang up feeling as if I am becoming less and less in her life, a little more transparent every day. I am a voice on a phone, not flesh and blood anymore. And one day, she won't remember me at all. And she won't even want to talk for one minute, let alone 30.

Then I truly will be…a machine.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

BPOV

I was rushing home, missing Edward so much my skin hurt, like it was crying because it hadn't been touched or kissed or caressed by him for so long.

God, I have it bad. As I walked home, I kept hearing my own voice in my head, saying, "I'm not in love with you…" to Edward. I had made it sound so real that even now, recalling it, it sounded like I truly meant it. And then Edward looked relieved…so I repeated it to him AGAIN this morning.

What am I doing?

I wanted to show him my love, declare my love for him from every rooftop, and damn the consequences, and maybe try to grasp that this is Edward's lifestyle and make my peace with it somehow, and try to have a real relationship with him. But in my heart I knew I was kidding myself.

I may love him, after two days, or it may be the sexual release I am experiencing at his hands. Maybe the rush and thrill of the orgasms and sensations are making my mind believe that I love him…when really it's just my body's reaction to the pleasure he's giving me.

I hate thinking like a shrink. But I have to, it's my soul, analyzing things, probing and studying how things are the way they are. And I love it more than anything, or so I thought, until a couple days ago.

Now I find myself very uncomfortable with digging into Edward's head and his past. I don't like hurting him or seeing that sad look in his eyes when I start chipping away at his hard shell exterior.

But I have to get used to this, if I want to truly help people, I must stir them up and probe into their painful scars, no matter how hard they may fight me or scream or cry.

I knew I eventually have to make Edward angry. So angry that he'll let some of that rage out. But I'm not ready for that yet. I also know I'll have to make him face his sorrows and that there will be tears. And I don't know if I'm ready for that, either. How can I make him cry? I'd rather lose my arms. So many people have made him hurt and I really didn't want to be one of them.

And I feel like a hypocrite telling him to be honest with me and then I turn around and lie to his face.

But I know if I tell Edward I love him, he will leave.

I don't know how I know that, I just do. And I don't want him to leave. I love him. I can tell myself anything I like about my mind's reaction to his physical attentions, but I feel it in my heart. I am totally in love with him. I don't know how it happened so fast, but it did. And I just have to deal with that and brace myself for the inevitable.

He is going to leave. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but soon. I will have to lay down in bed and he won't be with me, curling his arms around me while I drift off. I'll get up and have to make my breakfast, if I even feel like doing that, and he won't be watching Sponge Bob and smiling at me when I sit down. I'll have to shower and think of his voice singing Music of the Night.

Those are just three little things that I will have to get used to when he goes, and even those small thoughts are like red hot swords driving slowly through my heart.

At the end of these two weeks, I'll have a thousand more things to miss when he goes. I know first love is supposed to be painful and bittersweet, but this situation is just too surreal. Not many girls fall in love with a male stripper that they bought for two weeks so they could also study his psyche.

Maybe it's because he's my first real patient, maybe that's why I care so much. My need to help him, to save him might be driving me towards some hero complex. And he is my Lois Lane, my damsel in distress that I've somehow fallen for.

Bella Swan, that is the dumbest thing you've ever conjured up.

And even now, on the way home, I kept picturing Edward in different lifestyles. Wearing a shirt and tie, at a desk, answering a phone; maybe selling cars, opening a car door and smiling as a woman steps inside and sits down to give it a try; oooh, there's a lovely image now…Edward as a construction worker, wearing a hard yellow hat and no shirt, glistening and tan in the sun as it pounds down on his perfect chest….and he takes a break, pouring ice cold water down into his mouth and it runs a little down his throat and into the little creases of his chest…

GAH! I need a cold shower, that's the answer. I had picked up my surprise for Edward on the way home and had it hidden in my backpack, looking at my watch. I am very early, good! I can't wait to see his smile again and get a nice kiss.

As I came up the stairs, I could hear his voice already, faintly. The walls here are way too thin. I could always hear Mrs. Nevitz across the hall playing her Julio Iglesias albums on Saturday nights.

He was laughing and I smiled, moving slowly and quietly so I could keep on hearing it. I heard no other voices, though and I was relieved. I hoped Edward knew that I didn't want him working in my apartment.

"Oh yea?" his voice asked very sweetly and I felt a little jealous of the person he was talking to, most likely on the phone.

He laughed again as I got the the top of the stairs and began to come down the hallway towards the door.

"Oh, okay." He said all of a sudden, "Oh- wait a second!"

A small pause.

"I love you." He said, full of emotion and with a hint of sadness.

I stopped, feeling my heart squeeze inside. I feel glad that Edward has someone…that Edward loves someone. That means he is not completely alone and there is a living, breathing someone that Edward has feelings for. That is wonderful and may help him overcome his pain.

So why was my first reaction pain…and hurt…and jealousy?

"Okay, bye." Edward said quickly now, and added, "Talk to you---"

He paused again and hit a button on his cell phone, it sounded like, a little beep.

And he added, solemly, "tomorrow." , finishing his sentence to himself.

I winced, hearing him moving around inside. I couldn't just open the door now, he'd know I heard some of that. And I was too early. Maybe I should leave and come back at 4, like I said. Where will I go?

Oh, this is New York, Bella! There are 1,000 shops and ice cream places out there! Go get a soda, a Popsicle – something!!

I spun around and began tiptoeing down the hallway when the door opened. Oh fuck!

"Bella?" his voice asked as he walked towards my back.

I turned, smiling like an idiot, wondering what my brilliant explanation was going to be for walking in the wrong direction, away from my door.

He was smiling at me and holding a bag of garbage, appearing to be on his way out to dump it. I hate it when he keeps doing domestic chores around here. But, maybe, for him, this helps him feel more at home. So I was letting him do whatever he wanted around the place.

"Hi." I astutely responded, my inner brain quickly typing on its computer, trying to help me come up with a feasible excuse. I waited impatiently for its results.

"Beautiful." He leaned in, kissing my lips very softly and for a good amount of time.

God, I missed you. Don't ever leave my side again, Edward, I beg you. I'll rob banks to keep you if I have to. I'll chain you to my bathroom sink!

No, that wasn't my brain talking, that was another deep, dark part of me. My brain shut the door on that little voice and kept typing away furiously, trying to work.

Once the kiss ended, and I let go of Edward's poor hair, hoping I didn't yank any of it out, I knew this was it, my moment of truth.

"What were you doing, walking that way?" Edward smirked a little, finding me a funny puzzle at the moment, "Did you forget the mail or something?"

"GOOD!" I yelled out loud, making Edward jump and laugh and then I covered my mouth, adding, "Umm, yea, I passed the mailbox and totally forgot to get it."

Thanks a lot, brain, for your help! Take a time-out now – ten minutes.

"I was going to get it this morning, but I don't have the key and didn't want to intrude." He said as he walked with me back down the stairs, his free arm at the small of my back, stroking up and down intimately.

God, even this small of a touch is driving me crazy with desire! And his smell…my lips still taste like him, too, after that kiss. It's like…mint with a little chocolate hint in it. Maybe he had chocolate chip mint ice cream today. MMMM, I'd love to see him eat ice cream…

What the hell is happening to me? I can't keep a coherent though anymore without Edward starring in it. Even thinking of school is no good, today I pictured Edward as my teacher in James' place, slapping my naked ass with his pointer stick. I am buying myself a straightjacket for Christmas this year. I deserve it.

"You're not intruding, Edward." I responded to his statement, meaning it, "Believe me, the most exciting mail I get is my People magazine and maybe a free offer for the new Betty Crocker cookbook, along with my three free recipes for fudge brownies, lasagna, and red potato wedges."

He laughed hard at my little rant and I chuckled along with him. Oh, does he think I'm joking ? Poor, naïve Edward…he thinks I'm not a total dork.

"Only you can do that to me." He kissed my cheek softly, putting his arm around my neck, "Make me laugh after the day I've had. I can't believe it's only been a couple days…"

He nuzzled his face into my neck and kissed my neck four tiny and hot times, taking a little nip as we reached the bottom of the stairs. There he released me too quickly and I followed him towards the door going out.

He stopped and looked at me.

"Aren't the mailboxes…there?" he looked up and behind me with his eyes, pointing and I felt my cheeks flash redly.

"Oh, yea." I squeaked, clearing my throat, and added, "Sorry, I forgot."

And I spun in humiliation and moved myself to the wall of mailboxes in the lobby, my jaw set in embarrassment at myself.

It was a wall of little gold squares and each had a number. Mine is 13, figures, right? With my good luck.

I put my little silver key in and turned it open, taking out my junk mail and quickly looking through each piece.

_Here is my exciting mail: _

Geico – you may be able to save over $500 on your auto insurance.

I have no car – thank you – goodbye – garbage.

St. Thomas Church – a pre-printed post card, saying, We miss you – Where have you been?

They miss my donations is more like it. And I have given up church, I am sleeping with a male whore and loving it, Satan rules and I am going straight to Hell – thanks for asking – goodbye – trash.

Oooh, Lillian Vernon catalog! Keeping that!

Yes, I am only 20 and have the soul of a 40 year old housewife, sue me.

Jenny Craig – You can look a lot better than you do now ! Join us !

Fuck you, bitch! Garbage !

What DINK came up with that idea to lure customers in? It must've been a man. Asshole.

Man, my mouth is getting really bad. Even in my head, I sound like the old Eddie Murphy, before he joined up with Disney. I miss that Eddie Murphy, so bad. Just once I wish the donkey from Shrek would look at up Shrek and go, "Fuck you, Shrek!"

Thank God Edward can't read my mind. He'd run away, screaming. Do you think he knows I heard his phone call, a little? I don't think he knows, he kissed me and all, and he looks happy, but I know that he can place that happy face on in two seconds when he has to. That means he is hiding again, playing nice.

I hate when he does that, even though it's not his fault. Thank God it's almost time to get into therapy. I let him off easy yesterday but today I wanted to make some real progress and get down to some things.

A note from my dad. Charlie is such a nut, a loveable nut.

I told him to call me if he wants to talk, I had loads of time to sit around and shoot the breeze, until a couple days ago, but Charlie always says he doesn't want to bother me if I'm busy so at night, when he's at his desk, bored from the lack of crime going on in Forks during his night shift, he sits there and writes me letters. It's always bulky and full of pages.

Charlie is like me, it's easier to write things down instead of saying them. But, at least he is expressing himself in some form.

I would read this later, when Edward isn't around. I don't know if he realizes or knows it, but I think it might make him nervous, knowing my Dad is a chief of police somewhere, even if it IS far away from here. I don't want him thinking I'm setting him up for some undercover prostitute bust or something. Why do I sound like I just walked out of a bad episode of Miami Vice?

Charlie, he probably thinks I'm the life of the campus, going to parties and dating all the guys I can find. Or maybe he knows I'm a huge nerd and sit around every night watching NCIS or George Lopez. I hope he doesn't know.

Somehow, it makes me feel like he might be disappointed in me, if he knew what a loser I am. And now, me paying Edward all my inheritance money from his dead mother, for two weeks of …I can only call it heaven…although others might have a dirty and sleazy name for it…would only make him MORE disgusted and disappointed in me. He can never know of this. He can never meet Edward. And now I feel very sad.

Another reason we could never be.

Well, that was all my mail. So now I just had my catalog and my letter from Charlie and locked my box back into place as Edward re-entered the lobby and came up behind me.

I heard him coming but I did not expect what came next.

His arm quickly grabbed around my neck and a little something sharp was lightly poking me in the back.

"Don't scream. Don't fucking move." His voice sneered deliciously and deeply into my right ear, "Walk slowly…up the stairs."

He spun me around and I began to walk, his arm still pressing a little, tilting my chin up a bit as we made our way up the stairs. There was no one else around, which is good. Someone might think I'm being kidnapped and call the cops. But then again, this is New York. No one cared in this city. Even if they did call a cop, I could be raped and killed by the time they'd even put their donut down and move their overweight asses into their cars to come check it out.

Even on CSI, they always get there AFTER the poor dead body has been laying there for two days!

I didn't speak during our ascent upstairs, I was too stunned to come up with a cool line in this hot little game. I wanted to say that it was really therapy time, but I didn't want to. I wanted this. I wanted to see what he would do to me next. I was already very wet from his voice alone, and his 'kidnap' so far. This was a long time fantasy of mine, one I would just play out in my mind. And now it was coming true…with him, a very skilled player who would do it right.

I wonder what that little thing is in my back and as soon as I thought that, we were in front of my door and the thing was removed from my back and inserted into the lock of the door. Oh, his key. Okay, good, at least it wasn't a knife, that would be a little scary.

But then I knew if I didn't want this, all I had to do was say lo mein. But I wasn't about to say that yet. I decided to start playing along to let him know I was into it and to make it more fun for him, too. I want him to enjoy me, for real, and not just perform for me without his heart being in it. So I tried to play now.

"Listen…" I began, "I have a little money in my purse, you can have it, alright? Just please don't hurt me."

I thought that was pretty good. Believable and I actually used my nervousness to make myself sound scared.

He huffed, shoving the door open and scowling, "You think I need your pocket change?! Get in and shut up!"

He gave me a pretty good shove and I'm amazed I didn't fall, me being cursed with the miracle of clumsiness. I gave a real squeal that time and before I could do anything, his hand was in my hair, yanking it backwards and the door slammed shut.

I gave a little cry again, closing my eyes as he controlled me, bringing me to the counter of the kitchen, forcing my chest down onto it, bent over with my arms curled under myself, panting, in a dizzying dream state, feeling a big fantasy of mine, not just in my thoughts but on my body, real arms touching me, hands roughly against my body.

"I'll take this." He yanked the backpack off my arm and then stole my mail out of my hand, tossing it over the other side of the counter,"And this."

His hands curled around my waist and began undoing my pants, unzipping them as I exhaled harder, giving a whimper and letting my body struggle back as I always did in my little fantasy world.

It was okay to say no here and I was glad. I could play my part and not make him think I was really against this. Only lo mein would stop him.

"No, please…NO!" I began shrieking but his hand slapped over my mouth hard, not even allowing breath to pass through.

"Shut up, bitch!" he sneered wickedly into my ear, his lips almost touching it, "This is going to happen so just shut up and take it. Don't make me hurt your pretty face."

His other hand stroked softly along my cheek, the one hand still holding my mouth with brute strength.

I gave a couple more whimpers, so aroused at this point I felt a damn puddle forming in my underwear.

"Will you be quiet now?" he asked me.

I breathed harder, waiting a moment then making my head nod a couple times.

"If you're not…" he spoke softly now, making my skin shiver more, "I will gag you…and I will hurt you. Do you understand me?"

I whimpered again, nodding.

"Good." He seethed in my ear, "Brains and beauty. I love you college girls."

His hand left my mouth and I just panted wordlessly as his hands both yanked my jeans down off my ass, my panties yanking down too, as his hands clawed at my clothes like an impatient animal. I tried not to squeal or yelp as the jeans got all the way to my ankles then stopped, his voice growling in frustration with my inconvenient clothes.

He went, instead, to my t-shirt, yanking it off my body, over my head and out of my arms, tossing it on the counter to my right.

"Fucking bra!" he growled, undoing it quickly as my eyes closed, my breathing getting harder and heavier. He tore that off me and tossed it over the counter, too as my arms still laid under me, half covering my naked breasts.

"Turn around." He spun me roughly, my back against the counter now as he exhaled a deep breath, his rough hands kneading both my breasts as my head laid back off the counter edge a bit, arching my back up against my "will".

It sounded as if Edward had never seen my body before, or felt my breasts the way he was breathing as he groped me roughly with no tenderness now. He is very good. I wonder if he ever took acting lessons.

"Bitch…" he breathed, diving his mouth onto my right breast, biting and licking and sucking it savagely, as if he HAD to have it all, his hand squeezing it at the base the whole time.

I loved the way his mouth worked. So wickedly rough and brutal, but not enough so to hurt me for real. God, he is excellent!!

I even couldn't help giving a little bit of light squealing and whimpering, hoping I was playing my part well…even though I wasn't really TRYING to act…this is AMAZING!

My attacker ignored my noises and kept having his way with my left breast, his other hand moving raggedly over my torso and down around over my ass, then again, desperately clutching between my legs as I let out a tiny scream.

His hand grabbed my throat and his lips ascended from my nipple and he gave a small little squeeze.

"What did I say about quiet, bitch?" he quizzed me.

I was really heaving for air now slightly and felt my face turning a bit hot.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry…" I panted, closing my eyes, "I'll be quiet…I'll be quiet…please…"

"One more time and I'm sticking something very unpleasant in that hole of a mouth." He warned, "Like perhaps a couple of brillo pads…or maybe a nice soapy sponge."

I shut up and didn't say anything else now, not wanting that.

He held my neck and loosened the pressure to let me breathe, but his mouth was all over my body now…_not _placing sweet, warm kisses…licking, biting, sucking….I half opened my eyes, getting hotter and hotter from this with every inch of me he assaulted and I realized my face was upside down off the counter edge, and I could see my window, a tree and telephone wires…freedom and life only feet away while this was happening to me.

He had worked his way now, down to my belly button and in seconds he was licking and softly biting my clit, my back arching more as I tried to struggle a little more, my useless arms and hands were just laying at my sides, passively.

The little devil in me said I was making this too easy for him and we decided to put up a little fight.

"RRRRRR!!!" I kicked my legs harder and peeked down a little, deciding to grab his hair with my both hands. I didn't pull but the idea was clear.

"No!!" I heard myself squeal, "Don't TOUCH me!! NO!!"

"Stupid bitch." He sneered, and I felt the key against my clit, not hurting me…but cold and rough.

"Fight me!" he scowled, daring me, "Fight me and this is GONE!"

I closed my eyes and let my head fall backwards again. He is good. What a way to stop a fight in one second without working up a sweat. I knew it was only a key but for our game it was a knife.

"Get your fucking hands out of my hair." He demanded and I let go, knowing I was as good as dead. I actually was truly afraid and that excited me more.

The key came off my clit and his one hand squeezed around my cheeks from under my chin, and in a second, I was sitting up in front of him, nose to nose with him and his eyes looked so god damn angry and lethal I nearly screamed again.

"Do you WANT to BLEED?" he asked, low and hissing like a snake, "Do you WANT ME to fucking KILL you?!"

"No!" I panted, squealing, my eyes closed to protect myself the burn in his eyes, "No, I'm sorry…sorry…"

"You certainly are. Or…you will be now." He gave my cheek a light slap and my eyes popped open on their own, looking at his.

"Oh, what's that?" he squinted, "Don't like me slapping you? Are you gonna take me on again?!"

SLAP. Not hard, just enough to make a noise. I never fantasized that but I found myself liking that, too. I am so twisted.

"Huh?" he shook my face a little roughly and asked softly, "You wanna fight again?"

SLAP. "This is nothing." He informed, "If we fight again, I use my fist next. So answer me…do you want to fight?"

"No." I gritted through my teeth as he squeezed my cheeks together harder, "No."

"I don't believe you." He snorted, grabbing my long mane of hair at the roots, close to my scalp, "Get up, you little whore."

He began walking me out of the kitchen but then I tripped, forgetting my ankles were in my jeans around me, my sneakers still on, too.

I fell face down on the beige carpet with a little cringe and groan and I heard his evil laugh behind me, standing there, looking down at my naked ass. I flushed hot in my face again as he ordered, "Take those off and get up."

Quickly, I sat up and pulled my sneakers off, then the jeans and panties, and I stood up, his hand in my hair again instantly.

"It seems I can't trust you to play nice." He observed out loud, yanking my hair up so I was leaning back against his body, on my tip toes, my ass resting against his hips.

He picked up one of the cushioned bar stools beside us, sweeping it and me into the living room, where there was a large circle of free space.

"Perfect." He placed the stool down, and shoved my stomach down on top of it, bending me over, my feet just an inch off the floor. My arms hung down and I felt my hands hold onto the bottom bar of the stool to support myself.

"Don't move." He leaned in, his lips at my ear and I shuddered for real, not daring to move now. I don't think Edward would really punch me in the face, but I didn't want to find out. No, he wouldn't punch me. But it's incredible how real this all feels, even though I know we're playing. I was having a great time so far.

He found the ties off my curtains at the window and when he took those off, the curtains closed on their own, hiding me from view in case a curious pigeon flew by.

I trembled and panted as he sat on the floor below my arms and tied my wrists together and against the bar of the stool, keeping my arms down and in front of me, trapped. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation of being tied up for the first time. The curtain tie was green and it looked so like Edward's eye color as I gazed at it against my pale white arms. It felt secure, and tight, but not painfully so. I tried to move my wrists but the knots were expertly tied. I was going nowhere.

I gave a couple whimpers as my fists curled and uncurled uselessly and Edward ignored that and stood up, moving around behind me.

My right ankle felt Edward's hand coil around it and then I felt cloth moving around it in its place, wrapping around my ankle twice and then knots firmly closing a couple of times against the bone of it I tried to touch my toe like a ballerina to the floor, but it didn't reach. I squirmed my foot a little and discovered how trapped it was, like my wrists.

Without another word, Edward tied my other ankle in the exact same way, against the other bar of the stool so my legs were very open and pointless.

"There." He sounded pleased and I felt his hand give my right ass cheek three good hard slaps, as if I were a horse he was praising, "That's the good girl."

I gave a little whimper and stifled the yelp I wanted to make. My head hung over, my hair hiding my face as I just stared at my bound wrists, wondering what he'd do next, my body thrilling at this helpless, tied up feeling.

"I would just fuck you now," he informed, "But you fought back and I don't like that. You made noise and I don't like that, either. You grabbed my hair and I don't like that most of all."

He wandered over toward the kitchen as he spoke and I tried to turn my head to peek at him. I couldn't see into the kitchen, all I could see were my discarded clothes on the floor.

The anticipation was insane and my body felt warm everywhere as I lightly struggled my ankles and wrists, as I often do in my fantasy. I gave a little grunt as I realized I was tied quite tightly actually.

He came walking back in and before I could see what he had he was behind me. Then he put something down on the floor and came back around in front of me, picking up one of my ankle socks off the floor, rolling it up into a little ball.

"It's time for your spanking but I fear your mouth will start again." He stood right in front of me but I couldn't look up at his face because I was unsupported and hanging limply, staring towards the floor.

He grabbed my hair and said, "Open your mouth, slut."

Before I could open it much, he shoved it into my mouth, not deep but enough to fill it. I bit down on the cotton ball and let out a little mmmmmm as his hand stroked my face, a touch of gentle Edward, telling me silently that I was doing well.

I also knew that I could easily spit this out of my mouth at any time and say lo mein if I wanted to and I knew that Edward had thought that out, not making my mouth really gagged where I couldn't shout my password if I wanted to.

"I'm gonna give you five because I'm in a very generous mood today." He announced as he stood behind me, "And you will count off starting with 5 and going backwards until you reach 1. Got that, bitch?"

I nodded and breathed harder through the cotton and I made small, helpless sounds that said I was afraid.

"Good." He said curtly and then WHACK!!

Something hard and long and wooden cracked over my ass, both cheeks at once.

"UUUuuuhhhh!!!' I panted and cried out, my head trying to move up, falling back down weakly as the little sting began to prickle, my eyes clenched then opened.

"I don't hear your count!" he was tapping the wooden thing on my left ass cheek.

"FIVE!" I screeched through my cotton ball in my teeth. It was muffled but I could understand myself slightly.

How the hell did I forget that? My brain is becoming mush with a little sugar on top the longer I am with this man.

"So much for my brains and beauty comment earlier." He said as I really frowned at that remark and then another swift lash sounded against my warm, unprotected ass.

"RRRR!!" I screamed through my sock and immediately cried, "FOUR!"

I think he's not hitting me that hard on purpose. I'll bet he can really deliver a horrible, devastating blow if he had to. My ass just tingles a little and it's not really very painful at all.

"Progress." He muttered, then I heard the air whip as he landed the third blow across my lower cheeks.

FUCK now THAT hurt !

"RRRRRRRRRR!!!" I screamed out harder, trying not to spoil things by using my word. I only had two more spanks to go…I could do this.

"Awwww…" he mocked sympathy, stroking his hand along my ass, right where it hurt…mmmmm…thank you Edward, thank you…I love you…sooooo much…yes…right there…rub…ooohhhhhhhh God…thank you!

I was thinking all those things but my muffled voice was moaning hard, speaking to him of how good his hand felt and thanking him with no words.

"Poor little slut…did that one hurt?" he cooed, and he leaned in and placed a warm, wet kiss over the area that last whack had been.

I just closed my eyes and moaned, loving the way he touches me…the way his lips feel…

"And once again, I fail to hear your count." He said.

SHIT! How do I keep forgetting that?! What is wrong with me?! I had learned to count in kindergarten, am I really that brain dead now since I bought this amazing dark god?

"THREE!" I tried to call out.

"Too late." He snapped wickedly, "I let the first one go but now I have to stop playing and REALLY hit you."

I made more noises of no…no…no….through the sock in my teeth but he paid no attention, until he said, "Oh, yes, yes, yes. Don't forget your count again or I'll add ten more to it."

CRACK!

GOD DAMN IT! My ass feels like it just split under the wooden thing he was hitting me with.

I bit down and held back a couple tears, screeching and growling…refusing to say my word…oh FUCK!

"TWO!" I screamed while I suffered vocally. I can't believe I almost forgot again. I hoped I had said it in time.

"You just made it that time." He informed, "It was almost too late."

SLAP! The last blow sounded and it stung a bit but was not as powerful as three and two.

"ONE!" I called the final blow.

"Good girl." He praised and moved his both hands along my slightly sore ass now, vigorously massaging the hurt away as I hummed through my cotton ball with pleasure. I love the reward for getting through my first little spanking.

Small kisses rained from his lips onto my bottom, wherever there was even a hint of any pain was all healed now and I smiled as much as I could with my sock sticking half out of my mouth.

"Nothing like a good little spanking to make a slut behave." He said with a soothing, velvety tone of voice.

God, it makes me hot when he calls me slut and bitch and even whore. I want to do a study on that and see if other women have the same experience, or maybe it's just me. But the things he's saying are just making me more and more randy with each sentence.

God, he's good. For someone who doesn't go to church anymore, I do say God a lot.

He came around in front of me and said, "And now…."

His fingers reached down and tugged on the cotton poking out of my mouth and drew it out in one long motion, letting it hit the floor below my face.

"If you bite me or scrape me, bitch…" he warned into my ear again, "That spanking will seem like an orgasm when I'm through with you. Understand?"

"Yes." I breathed, having not much fight left in me at the moment.

Besides, why would I bite the magical wand that was enchantingly spraying my whole life with wondrous pixie dust?

What a good line that was, I smiled mentally to myself, I wish I could somehow put that one in my report. Then I told myself to pay attention to every emotion, every sensation I was feeling now…it may be helpful when I do write my paper, experiencing things from the inside this way.

But this was not something to study and analyze. I had waited 20 years for this fantasy and I would be damned if I was going to ruin it for myself now. Shut up and enjoy it, I told myself.

I felt his cock insert itself into my open mouth and he was moving it slowly in and out, his fist in my hair, holding my head up enough to hold still and suck and lick as much as I could while he did the moving part.

I made little pitiful noises as he panted, slightly increasing his speed. My noises were desperate mmmm!!'s and gagged pleas for mercy as he pumped himself faster, his voice grunting and growling as I just tightened my soft, relaxed lips around him and kept my teeth away, my saliva wet, hot, and sloppy as he kept going.

"Uuughhh…" he growled, "You will swallow every drop of me, bitch. Or it's your ass."

With this, he shoved in hard right near the back of my throat and exploded his cum there, slightly choking me as he kept his penis there, demanding, "Swallow, bitch."

Half coughing, I felt tears watering my eyes and I swallowed as I was told…once…twice…and he withdrew himself from my mouth as I coughed for a second, blinking my eyes to rid myself of the tears.

He let my head drop and he walked around to the kitchen, raising his jeans and zipping them as he opened the refrigerator door, and then I heard a soda can opening, a click, crisp metal sound and then his gulping and swallowing.

Wow, it's even hot when I'm left here alone, tied up like I'm just a sexual object.

This is wilder and hotter than my fantasies even.

I play struggled a little more, trying to bend my legs a bit, moving my head from side to side, slowly, trying to move my stomach as it rested against the surface of the stool.

"What a lovely sight you are…" he said from inside the kitchen but my hair was blinding me from seeing him as it hung there over my face.

He was walking back in here towards me now as he spoke again.

"Struggling like that.." he said, "Knowing there's no way to escape…knowing I'm not finished with you yet. You are one hot little bitch."

I panted, not talking right now and I saw him move into the bedroom. He came back, I was guessing with a condom. All I could see were his legs and feet.

"I went to get a condom and look what I found in your drawer." He sounded amused, coming around behind me.

I heard the buzzing sound of last night behind me and I heard Edward tear the foil of a condom wrapper and put it on.

"You little slut," he ran the vibrator end along my ass cheeks, and I moaned quietly as the sensations from it reminded my body of what he'd done with that thing to me last night.

"Listen to you moaning like a cheap whore." He scowled and felt with his fingers between my legs, "And CHRIST you're sopping wet!"

I hung there, my head down as I stared at the bar my wrists were bound to, wanting him to fuck me so bad…so hard. Now.

He sucked his finger and gave a soft MMMMM, then he put the little vibrator under me, holding it against my full, red clit and at the same time, he penetrated me in one smooth motion.

Both of us moaned out at the same time in our own separate ways. I could feel his free hand on my ass, clawing it with hard fingers as the little oval egg went bezerk over my clit, speeding me to a frenzy as I already began screaming, unable to control it.

"Fine, go ahead and scream." He began pounding inside me, holding the bar of the stool to steady me so I wouldn't topple over, his other hand working the little vibrator around the same area, wanting me to go insane from the undiluted pleasure of it.

"No one will care." He said as I kept howling out in abandon, "No one will save your ass from me!"

I heard him groaning and grunting in his masculine gasps as I kept bucking and thrashing and squealing out for mercy, not able to think of many words.

There were a few please's but it didn't take long before I lost all lady like behavior and began to shout, "FUCK!!! NO!! NO!! FUCKKKKK!!!!"

It seemed like forever to me because I was coming all over the place in different ways that I lost everything, even track of time and I even forgot I was tied to a stool. I felt like I was floating in a web of lust and heat and orgasm and I never wanted to be freed.

Edward was panting and breathing harder than last night, I thought for a moment as he came again inside me, waiting for a minute before carefully backing himself out.

"Shit…" I heard him breathe as he stumbled a little near the bathroom door. I heard the water run for a couple seconds and then he was coming back over to me.

I couldn't see him but I felt a very hot washcloth press against my crotch.

"Uuuuhhhhh!!" I let out a very happy, throaty moan as the cloth moved up and down my tender lips.

I wasn't sure if it was alright to speak to him now as Edward, but I hoped he was alright. I never saw him stumble before and was hoping that he did because of how good it had felt for him.

It's for damn sure when I get off this stool, I'll be stumbling, too.

"Good baby…"he breathed, stroking my ass and leg tenderly now, "Good little baby…"

I guess that means I did well playing our first game together. If I could applaud him, and say Bravo! In return, I certainly would have. He is an incredible dream rapist. I wonder if Hallmark has a card conveying that sentiment.

He began to untie my ankles, stroking around each one for a few seconds, feeling my feet and muttering, "Good, nice and warm." As if checking to make sure they weren't cold from lack of blood flow.

Then he came around in front of me, wearing his jeans, no shirt, and felt my curled up hands, checking them now.

"Good girl." He said approvingly, untying my wrists now, carefully.

As they came undone, my arms hung there for a second and he rubbed up each of my wrists with his hands, kissing them and massaging them with care. He kissed my head with a deep, soft kiss, also and his voice floated above me like an angel's.

"Come here." He said softly, "I've got you. Carefully raise up to me."

He helped my top half up and my arms curled around his shoulders and in a second, I was in his arms, being carried bridal style to the bed. He laid me down in the middle and covered me up with the warm blanket and quilt, going around near my feet again, slipping his hands under the blanket, massaging my ankles and legs with those knowing, skilled hands of his.

I laid there, gloriously oblivious to everything around me except his expert hands as he kissed and massaged every inch of me, not to make me come this time, just to relax my sore muscles and put me at ease.

"Are you alright, Bella?" he asked with true concern, his eyes deep and asking.

"I am SO alright." I murmured, closing my eyes, in a wonderful haze, almost feeling drunk, my words almost slurred, "God damn, how did you know…how did you do that, just out of nowhere? Were you planning all that?"

"No." he smiled down at me, rubbing my wrist in little hot circles, kissing it again, opening his mouth and wetly closing his lips over the skin there, "I was going to save that game for later, but then I just saw you at the mailboxes and I remembered what you said about being grabbed from behind. And I just…went with it. There was no one around. I hope you're not mad at me. You never said your word, so…"

"God, Edward, no!" I sat up, taking his face in my hands and kissing him hard, "I absolutely loved it, please don't…do that. I know to use my word if I don't like what you're doing. And I have never been so…thrilled and scared and elated and HAPPY in all my life."

His brow creased as if he didn't believe me. But he still smiled that crooked smile I adore.

"Really?" he asked.

"No, I just came like that because I felt sorry for you." I stole one of his funnier lines again as he laughed with me.

"It's like you were a whole other person…" I said after a minute, "Like, I really believed all those things you said…I felt it in my BONES. I was really shaking, Edward, but it was so intense and…wild. Even my dreams weren't as good as you!"

He took a breath and smiled more, moving closer and letting my head lay in his lap as he leaned down and kissed me again.

"I'm so glad…" his voice was wickedly deep as I closed my eyes, wanting to just simmer in the memories, "I've been told I play that part particularly well, but I always feel a bit nervous when I begin."

"I couldn't tell." I admitted truthfully, "You felt in complete control to me…and so evil. I get goose bumps now, just remembering your voice! God!"

He smiled down at me like a little boy now, all traces of my dark intruder were gone and he kept massaging me, taking excellent care of my body after play was over. I noted that. A very caring soul, very wishful to take care of someone else, to always make the other person happy and comfortable. That is the real Edward and I just knew it right away. Now he was being real, now was not fake or role play or fantasy. I could see it in his eyes.

Edward let me lay in bed recovering as he took care of dinner for us. I just closed my eyes and remembered my back over the counter as he licked and bit my nipple, the feeling of my jeans being ripped down off my ass in the middle of the kitchen, and the exhilaration of my struggles as Edward tied me to the stool and had his way with me.

Before I knew it, he was kneeling at my bedside, kissing my closed eyes and asking if I wanted to eat there or in the living room again. I chose the bed and we made another nice little picnic here together, eating steaks and green beans.

I was laughing, in my care bear robe as we almost finished eating and Edward was saying, "I thought for sure when I swatted you across the ass, I was gonna hear LO MEIN! LO MEIN!!"

I almost spit my soda out again, a full mouthful gurgling there as I tried not to laugh along with him. I swallowed and giggled, too, loving the sound of his laugh and his thoughts on our fun together earlier.

It was getting dark outside and Edward asked me, "Are we still having therapy today?"

I almost dropped my soda can and I looked at him. His eyes were down, on his plate, and he slowly brought them up, under his long lashes, as if afraid of my answer.

"I mean, I kinda…had my game playing during your time." He said, "I feel badly about _that_."

"Do you _want_ to?" I asked, stunned.

"Yes, Bella." He said and I shot him a look, but then he exhaled a breath and seriously, said, "No, really. I would like to…talk to…Dr. Bella. If that's alright."

A little smile played there on his lips and I took my last bite of food.

"Alright, Edward," I leaned in and kissed his nose, "Let's go to my office."

"Okay." He followed me, taking his can of soda with him, I guess, to have something in hands this time while he talked. I noticed that made him more comfortable.

I adjusted my robe, not feeling very professional at the moment, but I reached for my notebook out of my bag and checked the tape. There was lots of tape left, as we hadn't gotten into long talks yet. Now that it was only about 7-ish, maybe we could have a nice long talk now. I hoped so, even though the stool in the middle of the room was still there, making my knees quiver.

I sat in my chair, my back to it, so I would be okay.

I hit the record button and said, "Edward- session 3."

"Hi Edward." I smiled at him, like a schoolgirl when I wanted to be more like Dr. Melfi on the Sopranos.

"Hi Dr. Bella." He smirked back, snickering for a second as he took a sip of soda.

"Okay, Edward, how was your day today?" I began, finding it a good place to start.

"Ummm…not great, actually." He shared, "Until I got home, that is."

I blushed and tried to focus. Something was wrong and I had to stop being stupid now and concentrate on him, as much as he does on me when he is in charge.

"What happened?" I asked, "Before you got home?"

"Well…" he exhaled, playing with the tab on his soda can, "I had to work today. And…ever since I woke up this morning, I didn't feel the way I usually feel…when I have to go to work."

He looked up at me, almost apologizing with his eyes as I stared back into his eyes, silently telling him to keep going and that he was really trying and I could see that.

"Go on, Edward, it's okay." I soothed with my voice, "Anything you say is alright. There is no wrong for us…remember?"

He looked like he was struggling with something and said, "Yea…I know…"

Again, silence. He was really troubled over something. I decided to ask a couple helping questions.

"You worked at Fire today?" I asked.

He shook his head, glancing up at me, then back down again, his soda can holding all his interest.

"Another party?" I probed, "At someone's house?"

He swallowed and looked away and looked at me…shaking his head again.

I felt like I was talking to a little boy now and even his eyes had that little child shame in them. I don't think this is some act, either. I had to proceed very, very carefully here.

Lots of times, Edward is very childlike and playful and I knew that was him being the child he never could be in the past. Something big was going on with him and I had to be there for him now.

Edward acting so solemn and boy like could mean that he is afraid of being rejected again, afraid of a parent like wrath, afraid of being alone again and left behind, like he was back then.

I searched for the kind of things he could be doing during the day…and then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

His eyes looked afraid as mine glazed over with epiphany. I could see him bracing himself for my reactions. And again, he looked down into the hole of his soda can.

"Edward…" I made my voice very calm, "Did you do something today…with a woman, other than me? A client?"

His eyes looked deeply full of sorrow now, deep remorse and bitterness as he set his jaw and closed his eyes, giving a nod to me.

Okay, I will admit to being angry. I admit I am hurt and I feel used and want to cry and scream.

But I know Edward is feeling all those things, too. And he has been through worse than I have today. Did the bitch hurt him today?! Right away, after my own pain, I noticed I was protecting Edward almost immediately afterwards. I shouldn't demand details unless he wants to give them.

I must be there for him and show him that even if he sleeps with 200 more women, that I want to help him deal with it and that nothing he says can make me desert him now.

It's not like we are boyfriend and girlfriend and I caught him doing Rosalie or something. I know this is his work and I knew it going in. This wasn't about my paper or my grade now…I love him. I always will. He is drowning and reaching out for me. I'll be there, always, to help him find air.

"It's alright, Edward." I kept my voice as calm as before and he looked at me, his brow furrowed and confused.

"It is?" he asked simply.

"Yes." I breathed, feeling too far away from him now. I wanted to hold his hand and put my arms around him, but that's why a psychiatrist's chair is so far from the patient's….so this doesn't happen. But I can't help that…I am close to him. I want to be.

"So…why did you feel…different about working today?" I asked delicately.

His eyes looked up at mine. "You know why." He looked away again.

"Because of ME?" I voiced it, getting it out there.

He nodded, not meeting my eyes.

Part of me was dancing like a little girl inside …but I stopped that right away.

This isn't funny, Edward is suffering.

"Alright, so…" I did all the talking now, "You felt…what, exactly? Can you tell me?"

He exhaled again, frustrated, "I don't KNOW! I feel like I am cheating or something. I feel like I'm betraying you. Aren't you _angry_ at me?"

I thought for a minute and said, "No. I am _not_ angry at you."

His eyes widened and looked at me, in disbelief, "WHY?"

"Edward…" I began, "Remember that girl you said you had the date with? The one who threw the drink in your face?"

"Yea." He said, making the tab on his can move back and forth.

"What did you say to her when she asked you what you do for a living?" I asked gently.

"I don't remember." He started but I cut off right away, saying, "Yes you do…come on, Edward."

He sighed and muttered his answer, "I said…I fuck old women."

"Is that all?" I raised a brow, wondering if he left something out.

"No." he couldn't look at me, "Then I said…tonight's costing you $500."

And at the same time, we both said, "That's when she threw the drink in your face."

I almost laughed but held it in.

"I thought you liked her. How old was she?" I asked.

"25." He said.

"And you must've been…24 ?" I asked, getting him to nod.

"So 25 is old now?" I grinned, "And was she really pretty?"

"Yes, very." He answered, staring at the tab again.

"And you did like her."

"Yes, until she threw the drink in my face." He pointed out.

"But you don't see it, that you liked her, so you purposely insulted her and used your job to shove her away?" I asked cautiously, "Let me ask you a question. Why didn't you tell her you were a dancer? Or in the entertainment business? At least that would've been gentler and easing into things a bit instead of your answer, I fuck old women. That's not all you do, Edward."

"What is the point?!" he looked at me and raised his voice a bit, "I could've said those things, and then she'd date me again and again…and I would get attached…and then she'd find out about what I really do and she would dump me. So I ask you…what is the point?"

"Are you trying to push _me_ away now, Edward?" I asked quietly and he didn't answer. He sulked a little, staring at his soda can some more.

"Hmm?" I asked, waiting, "You like me a little and you're afraid to get attached to me. You didn't have to tell me about today – I'm glad you DID…but you told me, I think, because you thought I would get so angry at you that I'd throw you out…tell you to go to Hell…never come back…am I getting warmer here?"

I didn't want to say it but part of me even hurt thinking that this last role play we did together was to further his cause of making me hate him. To tell me, right after we'd made love that he had been with another woman earlier the same day…hold it together, Bella, cry later, not now.

"I'm…just…" he began and then stopped.

"No, Edward, keep talking…I'm not doing all the talking here, I want you to say what's on your mind. Come on." I coached softly.

"I feel…when I'm with you…" he said, "Like I'm not…working. It's playing. It's nice…and fun and you're so…(he closed his eyes then opened them again)…sweet - and innocent. Your eyes look at me and I'm not at work. I'm with a beautiful friend…and I just felt sick today, not telling you where I was going and what I was going to do. I felt like I was…messing up what happened between us…last night. And I didn't want to ruin that."

"Edward…"

"I mean, I know I'm a hired toy." He began as I frowned and he cut me off, "And I know you hate hearing that but it's true. I am for your pleasure only, I'm not supposed to hurt your feelings and I am not supposed to like you as much as I do. And I can't stop working at these jobs because I need them, Bella. I _can't _lose my job."

"Alright, alright." I could see him getting tense and very upset and this one time, I wanted to calm him down, "No one is asking you to lose your job, Edward, okay? Take a breath. Good. Relax for a minute. Neither of us will talk, okay? Just close your eyes and breathe."

This seemed to calm him and I was glad.

"Good." I finally said, breaking the silence, "This…is a very confusing situation we have put ourselves into. I will not deny that. I really like you, too, and maybe I treat you differently than your other clients. They can hurt you, shove you around, treat you the rough way they do…and then I meet you and I'm not like them. I'm quiet and I try to be gentle…."

"You ARE gentle." He corrected me.

"Thanks." I tried not to smile too big, continuing on, "And I'm very gentle with you…and maybe that reminds you of your past…when someone like me…caressed you and slept with you, kissed you softly and played with you, ate dinner with you and loved you. And now, you are feeling all those things again and you are remembering…how wonderful that was.

I think that's really what you are missing and were missing today, when it was time to leave that and go to work. It's not so much about _me_…it's what I make you _feel_ again, after so long."

"No." he looked like he was with me until I said it wasn't about ME.

"I truly _do_ like you, Bella." He corrected, "It's nothing to do with my past. Don't put yourself down, Bella. You are a great girl!"

I feel relief but I know I am on to something here, even though my heart doesn't want to swallow it.

"Thanks Edward." I smiled, my leg shivering a little. I put my hand on it, steadying it under my notebook.

"But I think it's really your girlfriend you were afraid of betraying when you left this morning…not so much me. We've only known each other for almost 3 days. Anything I do or say wouldn't make you feel sick inside like that. Can I ask you some things…about her?"

"Who?" he became stone faced, looking at me.

"The girl…" I cleared my throat, "Maybe…you can tell me her name today?"

Eyes down, body tense. He's not going to tell me today.

"Alright, forget that." I dropped it, "How about…telling me how you met."

He only relaxed a tiny bit now and said, "In school. College."

"Tell me about when you fell in love." I said, almost like a suggestion.

"Do I have to?" he asked, clearly struggling internally again.

"Come on, Edward, be brave." I gave a baby push verbally, "I did the stool thing."

He smiled and then tensed…and exhaled and said, "I was studying medicine. She studied art and photography. We were worlds apart. We probably wouldn't have met at all, but I was accidentally put into one of her art classes, the real kid scheduled in the class was Edward Callen. I guess they just typed it wrong, but I was sitting in this painting class and would've just walked out…but then…I saw her. And I…couldn't move. I just couldn't…"

I smiled at him, loving him so much as he opened up to me some more. Amazing myself, I wasn't mad about his job today…or upset. What did I think, after knowing me for two days, he'd quit his life and sweep me into his arms and we'd live happily ever after or something? I needed to accept Edward for who he is…good, bad, and ugly. All of him. That's what a therapist does…that's what a FRIEND does…that's what someone who loves you…does.

I blinked the tears out of my eyes and was glad it was getting darker in here now, he avoided my eyes so I was safe that he wouldn't see how much he touched me, talking to me like this.

"I was trying to paint at my easel, surrounded by these Picassos around me, not having a clue how to even mix colors, let alone PAINT anything on my canvas. The teacher even asked me if I was doing an abstract. I said no and she said, just paint what you see, dear. And it was a bowl of fruit!"

I couldn't help it, I had to giggle at that. I could picture him doing that, all for a girl's attentions.

He laughed, looking at me.

"It was so fucking sad." He bit his bottom lip, really at ease now.

"Anyway, after class she was walking past me and I said hello and she said hello back and looked at my painting with this look of…horror on her face…and says, are your eyes alright? And we just both started to laugh and she offered me some help after school with my 'art', or she said she could recommend a great eye doctor. And that was it. I never left her side after that."

His face was so alive and full of light until he added, "Until I left college, that is."

I hated to do it but I had to ask about his pain again…and its source.

"So…all through college, you stayed close by her, and after college was over, after she graduated…what happened then?"

He looked around, struggling inside again…hesitating.

"Bella…" he looked at me, with wet eyes.

"Take your time…I'm not leaving." I assured, giving him a warm smile.

Finally, after a long of deep breaths and attempts, he said, "We…got married."

He bent his head, clutching at his hair and closing his eyes.

"That's good." I sounded positive, "Was it a nice wedding?"

"We got married at the fucking police station, a Justice of the Peace." He sneered, sounding very angry about that, "I couldn't even give her a beautiful wedding day!"

"But I'm sure that didn't matter." I said softly, seeing only his hair now and his fists clutching at it, "She loved you and I'm sure it didn't matter to her how or where you were married. Don't you think so, Edward?"

"You're a girl." He didn't look up but his voice was very tense, "Don't YOU want a nice wedding, a beautiful dress, flowers, family all around, music?! The truth, Bella!"

I couldn't lie to him now.

"Yes, I do." I admitted.

He let a little breath out, and it sounded almost like he was quietly crying.

"But if it meant marrying some rich man I didn't love…" I informed, "It wouldn't mean a thing. All that crap is just icing on the cake. The main thing is, having the man you love…and him wanting to spend the rest of his life with you. That would mean more to me than a wedding in a palace!"

"And after all you gave up for her, all you lost and went through for her while she went through school…" I said, "I am SURE she knew how lucky she was, Edward. To have true love. That is why she married you. And I'm sure, too, that she was very happy that day."

I would be.

A long pause sat between us for a long time.

Finally, Edward said, "Thank you, Bella. I never thought of it…that way."

I smiled, answering, "Sometimes we're too close to things to see the whole picture. You just have to stand back once in awhile, like looking at a painting."

He sniffed, his head still down and I pretended to look in my notebook while Edward put his soda can down on the table and quickly wiped his eyes, letting another deep breath out.

I hate seeing him cry. I want to hold him so badly. I want to kiss his tears and tell him that I love him and that he's not alone.

But he can't be all alone. That phone call. He had said I love you to someone.

I can't admit that I heard that, he'll kill me.

"So, let's move on a little…" I took a cleansing breath and pushed on, feeling like we're making real headway here, "After you got married, did you get a little place together? At least this means you weren't on the streets anymore, right?"

"No, no more streets." He grinned at me, the skin under his eyes still a little shiny, "We got a loft apartment – one huge room and a bathroom, even smaller than yours."

I grinned and he looked at me quickly.

"I don't mean that yours is too small, I meant that…" he was always so fast to apologize.

"It is small." I stated, "I'm not offended by the truth. Go on."

He made a mad face at himself for a second then said, "We were pretty happy there for a while. No honeymoon, though. No furniture. We had to save for that and the few things we did get were hand me downs from her parents. But a lot of couples start out that way. We had a bed, on the floor, but it was soft."

I see problems already before he even says the words. It may be cute at first to not have anything, but money problems can kill a marriage, especially a new one.

This is so sad, Edward wanted to be a doctor and now he can't afford to buy furniture for his first place with his wife. That had to be eating him alive.

"So her parents were good to you?" I injected.

"Yes, very." He said right away, "They were always kind to me and her father even offered me a job at his factory. They make hangers, the plastic ones."

"And…did you take that job?"

"No, Tan---" he stopped and closed his eyes, "_She_…(he looked at me sadly again, apologizing)…didn't want to leave New York. Her parents live in---_very far away from here_. She wanted to be an artist and a photographer and she said to do that, she had to be in New York.

So I politely said no to her father and we tried to make things work here. They even asked us to live with them in their house for awhile, but she didn't want to do that, either. Her parents aren't rich people, they're very….lower middle class. They saved all her life to send her to college and then they had very little else in their savings account. But they are nice people, caring, down to earth."

"And…how did that go?" I asked, not dwelling too much on the slip he almost made in telling me her name or where her parents lived.

"Not very well." He said, rubbing his hand along his arm, "I got a job as a…cashier. And she tried to find a job taking pictures, like, at weddings. But she had to start off as a photographer's assistant and that paid very little. I know as a man, it's my job to provide the bulk of the money for the house but I couldn't get anything even remotely well paying. Every day I would look for something else, something better. Every day there was nothing. I used to see those fucking ads for female escorts and all the money they would offer and I'd laugh and say to her…do you believe people do that shit for a living? And we'd laugh at those people."

Again, his head fell into his hands and his breathing grew choppy and rough.

"She would probably laugh at me now…seeing what I am." He said, almost to himself.

I waited a minute and then asked, "Did you start fighting…the two of you?"

I was going to ask if they got divorced, but that was skipping things and I didn't want to pry too soon here.

"We fought all the time." He said, his voice thick with emotion, "Always about money. Stupid shit. She bought a box of candy once and I shouted at her and threw it out the window. I was so _fucking_ rotten to her…"

He cried a little more now…and I had to look away and wipe my own eyes, hoping he didn't see me. I hated seeing him so hurt. But it had to come out.

I hate to ask this next one.

"Did it ever…get…violent?" I dared and he looked at me, the tears really falling down his cheeks as I looked at him.

"No, Bella." He squinted as if I should know better, "I would never _really_ strike a woman. Only lightly, in play, now….but…then…no, I would never hurt her that way, I mean. Joseph and Katherine always taught me…you're gonna laugh at this one…respect for women. I'm glad they can't see me now, either."

"No one is laughing, Edward." I said plainly as he looked at me, softer now, and let his head drop into his hands again.

"So, did you ever try to seek help?" I asked, "Like marriage counseling or…"

"I couldn't afford _that_." He snapped, as if this subject had come up before, "You know how much those quacks charge?!"

He looked at me as I chuckled and winced, "I'm sorry, Bella. I don't mean you. Maybe, if we had talked to someone like you, we would've been happier. But I could've never afforded YOU. Everything good is so _fucking expensive_."

Tell me about it, I wanted to say, $20,000. But then I hated myself for thinking it.

Suddenly, I didn't give a damn that I paid him to be here. He is here and he needs me and I love him. The rest meant shit to me at this point.

"Did she…want to go to marriage counseling?" I asked.

"Yes." He said, leaning back on the sofa, licking his lips as he looked away, thinking, "But I promised her I would try to be a better husband. I swore."

"And did you…try?" I asked.

"Yes." He glanced at me, "But it still wasn't good between us. We didn't fight or yell too much anymore…but we didn't talk much, either. We became strangers. We hardly ever…made love. And when we did, it was stale and flat. But neither of us said anything about it."

"And…what happened then?" I asked.

"Nothing." His eyes became guarded now and cold in one second.

"Nothing?" I repeated.

"Can we talk about something else now?" he asked.

"But Edward, I think—"

"Please, Bella?" his eyes were sparkling with tears and I couldn't push him to keep going when he said please like that to me. I am way too soft.

"Alright." I went to my questions in my notebook, "But I don't think you'll like my other questions, either."

"Try me." He challenged me.

"Okay." I chose a very harsh one because I wanted to keep talking about his marriage and its demise, knowing that was the beginning of the end for Edward.

"Tell me about the first time you sold yourself." I said coldly, as if reading it.

God, Edward, I am sorry. Don't answer that.

"Fine." Edward frowned and nearly sneered at me, not that I blamed him.

"I didn't mean to say it that way, Edward." I tried weakly to correct my harsh words but he shot me a look.

"Do you want to hear this or not?" his face was stone.

"I want to hear it." I made myself say and held my tears back hard.

But did I really want to hear this?

"Well, after I was…_hired_ by Victoria." His voice was hard now, "I learned the art of dancing, playing my roles in the club. Emmett and Jasper were like my teachers. I learned very fast and discovered I was good at being Edward, exotic dancer. And that's all I did for awhile.

One night, Victoria calls me to her office and tells me she has a job for me. A job that will pay me an extra $5,000 dollars. I was told I was to dance privately for a very special client. She said it was easy money and to go with her back to her house and do what I was told. I knew what it was she was asking me to do and I told her so.

She said that she owned me and that I owed her my life and I knew she was right. So I went with the woman and made love to her while her husband watched from his chair in the corner, jacking himself off the whole time.

Then he was coming over to us and I stopped, thinking he was going to punch me or something. But no, he didn't want to beat me up, he bent me over his wife and tried to fuck me in the ass while I was still inside her.

It was only the wife who saved me from that. I ran out of there and walked 5 miles back to the club and told Victoria I was never doing anything with men and if that's what she wanted me to do, I'd rather die right now. She claimed not to know about the husband but from then on, she's never tried that again. I am for women only and since that day, it's only been women I've…worked for. Pretty story, isn't it?"

I didn't say anything and Edward said, "I told you my life was ugly. Why do you want me here, Bella? Someone like me doesn't belong here with someone like you. I'm so filthy I can never be scrubbed clean again."

"I told you, Edward, you're not going to push me away." I stated again, firm in this, "Stop trying. You're here for two weeks. I don't want you to go. I want to be your friend…if you'll let me. Please let me, Edward. I love---(I stopped myself and he looked at me, sharply)…having you here with me."

He didn't answer and I remembered my plans with Edward for tonight, before I was so rudely attacked.

"Hey!" I stood up and hit the stop button of my recorder, "I have a surprise for you, Edward. I hope you like it. It's what I had planned for us tonight."

His eyes followed me, silently and sadly and I thought for a second he thought I was going to ask for something sexual… and beautifully, they didn't look interested in anything like that right now. I was so glad.

I went to my backpack and took out a little rectangular box, wrapped in shiny blue foil wrap, a little white bow on it.

His face fell, then his brow creased in the center, unsure of what I was up to.

I sat next to him on the couch and dropped the box in his lap, "Happy…Edward Day." I just made that up on the spot.

"Happy Edward Day?" he asked, not buying it, looking down at it.

"Yep." I lied, "Today is Edward Day and all the Edwards of the world are being celebrated. So open it."

"Bella," he looked at me with fragile eyes, the tears still wet on his face, "You shouldn't be buying me gifts…"

"Just open it, you pain in the ass!" I yelled, laughing and smiling at him.

He grinned at me, "Pain in the ass, huh?"

"Yes, literally." I looked at the stool and shoved him a little with my arm, "Open."

"Silly little girl…" he muttered, taking the top lid off, and I smiled at his face as he moved the tissue wrap out of the way, seeing a nightshirt, size large, black with thin little red lines going across and down it.

He smiled and held it up, it was huge and way too big for him but he treated it like it was priceless.

"Oooh, a shirt…for bed, right? It's SO soft! " he acted so grateful for it but he didn't get it. And he wouldn't until I told him what it was, really.

I took it and threw the box away, saying, "Come here, sweet heart."

I said that with true deep feeling, not in a joking way or teasingly.

I gathered the shirt up along the big collar and placed it over his head, saying, "I know I made rule number one, about you never wearing a shirt in here…"

I let his hands slide through the sleeves as he looked down at it, then at me while I went on.

"But I'm changing my rule." I informed, both his hands in the sleeves now. Perfect. It covered every inch of his chest, and then some, even hiding his nice pelvis.

"I want you to wear this shirt because you mean more to me than a perfect set of pecks, a washboard stomach and big muscular shoulders. I want you to be warm and all covered up and I want to hold you all night tonight. Because you deserve that, Edward. I think you need it and crave it…you've been neglected, too…and have for a long, long time. And because…I…."

I love you…say it…I love you…three little words…no big deal. But it is.

"I truly care about you, Edward, very, very much." I chickened out.

But his eyes were so tender and sad and lonely.

"Is that alright?" I used his favorite line on him again, my arms around him as I leaned my forehead to his, closing my eyes, hoping I wasn't overstepping the boundaries now, praying he'd let me and not get scared again.

After a long pause, and some deep breaths, Edward said, "Yes, Bella."

I looked at him and asked, "Is this really what YOU want? Or are you just trying to appease me again?"

"No." he said without hesitation, a little sadness still lingering in his voice, "I want you to hold me, Bella. I think…that might even be…better than sex…a little."

I smiled, so happy as he smiled up at me and I planted a big kiss on his lips, all salty from his tears. Poor little sweetie.

I took his hand that was covered by the too long sleeve and said, "Come with me, angel."

He made a face at that word and followed me, "Don't say that, I feel like a girl!"

"You are…my girl." I informed with a giggle as he tried to tickle me for that comment.

"No, no." I squirmed away from him, turning off the lights and fluffing up the pillows so that I was propped up correctly for this.

I laid down, keeping my robe on as he looked at me for guidance.

"Come here." I said first, taking his face in my hands and kissing his eyes, and every tear underneath them.

"I hate making you cry, you know." I whispered, "But it's good, it's how you begin to heal, Edward. I'm glad you cried…but…it hurts me, too."

I kept kissing the damp salty places on his face as he just sat there, silent, not moving, his eyes closed.

"I'm not supposed to feel that, being a psychiatrist." I informed between my kisses, "But…I care for you so much that I'm too easy on you. That'll just be our little secret, okay?"

And I kissed his lips with my open mouth, lightly licking and closing my lips over his. I ended the kiss early because I didn't want him aroused or tempting me towards sweet, magnificent sex with him again tonight. I wanted this night to be pure and innocent and loving…only for him.

"I'll never tell." He whispered back, "Even if they torture me."

He snickered at his own joke and I laid back in bed with him, holding him close and letting him lay his cheek on my chest, my lips placing little baby kisses into his warm hair. I smiled as the little wild spikes of it tickled my neck and cheek and I heard Edward let out a breath…a happy, content little breath as we closed our eyes and let ourselves fall asleep this way…as one.

I heard a couple little sniffles from him but I ignored that, not wanting to embarrass him. The male ego is extremely fragile. I just kept stroking him and squeezing him a little tighter to me.

"Bella?" he whispered.

"Yes, Edward?"

"Tanya." He breathed, "Her name was…Tanya."

See next chapter soon!

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Love WinndSinger

Let me know how you're liking this!

More details of Edward's life will be coming up!

I can't tell you everything in one chapter, you know! LOL!

Love you all!

Review!! It's like my salty Edward's tears kisses!!

Sorry this one was so long – more coming tomorrow !!


	10. You're Going to Hell with Me Now

10

BPOV

I opened my eyes and could still feel his face on my body. Slowly rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I tried not to move too much so I wouldn't awaken him. Last night had been wonderful and I think a huge breakthrough for both of us, but I noticed over the course of the night how hard it was for Edward to have me hold him.

I had suspected that he was silently crying at a few points throughout the night but he never made any big sounds or sobs. But I felt wetness against my robe here and there, and then there was the sniffling. Or maybe Edward is getting a cold. Yea, right, in May.

Once or twice, he even began to move off of me and go to his own side of the bed, but I didn't release him. I hated to admit it but the holding all night was not only for his benefit, but mine, too.

I have never had anyone to hold like this, to caress and pet and love like this before. And I know, before I even realize it…he'll be packing his things and leaving, and I will never hear his voice or see those pained, soft eyes again.

I could always go to Fire and find him there if I miss him enough. Ugh. Pathetic. Edward will think I'm some psycho stalker or something. And the thought of him working while I'm sitting there, pining away over him…YUK. No, I won't be doing that. It would make us both uncomfortable and just remind me more that Edward did a job with me, and that's all it meant to him, and now it's over. And unless I had another $20,000 squirreled away somewhere, he would really want nothing to do with me.

Worse, I'd have to watch him be fondled and licked by those women and I'd probably get arrested for tearing their hair out.

But he did say he thought of me as a friend.

Grow up, Bella, he probably says that to EVERY woman. How do you know he's not playing you right now? No, I argued with myself, that's crazy. I have nothing else he wants. What would he want with me, besides my money?

Oh God. A paranoid thought crept into my mind. Maybe this has something to do with my Dad. He is a chief of police. Maybe Edward has some kind of score to settle with him…No. I found Edward, not the other way around. Stupid me.

Why do I keep doubting him? Why can't I trust him?

Then I heard Edward's voice from last night, saying, "You know why."

I let the stupid thoughts of revenge against my father go and started to stroke Edward's arm again, the one that was laying across my stomach while his sleeping angel face rested snugly on my chest. My lips gently touched down on his head, letting my nose get tickled by the wavy spikes of bronze hair that almost sparkled in the upcoming sunlight.

You are terribly and utterly beautiful…I thought to him. I bent my head around a little and got a little peek at his face in the light now and I smiled, stifling a little giggle.

His lips were again pouting out a little and they looked so soft and thick I wanted to kiss them off his face, which was, sadly streaked slightly with once wet lines.

My heart hurts so much for him, and though I was embarrassed to admit it, Edward's tears had really frightened me last night. I never saw a man cry before and it shook me.

But again, this is something I have to get used to and deal with if I'm going to be a good doctor someday. I feel like I have to shut my feelings off in order to do this job right. But aren't feelings and emotions what this job is all about? Why must I be a hard ass to my patient to help him properly? Why can't I hold them and take their hand and shed tears with them?

Once I thought of doing that for hundreds of patients, day in and day out, I knew the answer: it would kill ME.

I peeked at my alarm clock and saw the red digital numbers say 6:47am. I have time to lay here for a little more time with my sweet heart. I brought my arms in a bit tighter around him in his extra big shirt and closed my eyes, imagining I was Mrs. Cullen, and this was a Sunday and we had all day to lay around together, making love and drinking coffee, reading the Sunday paper in bed. It's such a cliché that usually I'd roll my eyes at. But with him in the picture, it looked so lovely…and impossible.

I sighed and noticed that Edward doesn't snore. He is so silent and still. This is day 4. Thursday. Ten more days to go. That's a good amount of time…and yet it is no time at all. I pictured him taking his bag in his hand, slinging it over his shoulder and putting on his sunglasses. Kissing me goodbye one last time and saying something terrible like, "Thank you Bella, for having me. I had a lot of fun."

And then him walking out with a smile on his face while my world was crumbling to the ground around me. Could I keep a stupid smile on my face during that? NO! I'm not that good an actress.

My mind flashed with the image of me laying on the floor, clutching Edward's leg as he tried to yank himself free and leave while I blubbered and begged him to stay. Ugh. That looks more like me, alright.

I began to think over what was said last night, knowing I'd have to update my notes and listen to the tapes in school again to see if I missed anything so far. How am I kidding? I'm missing everything. I had hit a wall last night when I had asked what happened between him and Tanya after they were married and the money trouble began to tear them apart.

Nothing, he said. Nothing.

Unless she just vanished into thin air, there was more I needed to get. More digging I needed to do. She must have left him, or…God, I hope she didn't die. That would explain the tears and the sadness in him. If he never cried and never dealt with the pain, that would explain his emotional release now that I was making him talk about it more.

Her name _was_ Tanya. That's what he said. _WAS_. Well, that could mean she's still alive but not in his life anymore…or it could mean death.

Maybe I could ask my father to check her out. No, that is so wrong. I don't want to find anything out that way. I want Edward to tell me on his own.

I hate mysteries, this is driving me insane! I wish I could hypnotize him and ask everything I want in one shot. Then I could help him faster. I never knew I'd have to play detective in this job. But everyone hides something when you start asking them questions. No one likes to show their bad side and pain on the first few visits.

Every body lies. Every body hides. Including me.

And what was that about Victoria? She had said she owned him and saved his life and he knew she was right? I caught that but let it go because he was becoming so upset. I have to listen to my tapes again today, closely.

I can't wait to talk some more to James. I have to be so careful not to tell him too much. I don't fully trust him, either. Something about his eyes. They're not very warm.

I wish I could get my notebook. But I'm pinned under 200 lbs of perfection at the moment. Gladly.

Suddenly, a siren was approaching from way down the street, I think a fire engine. It was high pitched and fast, doing that WOOO-WOOO-WOOO sound. As it got closer, it increased in loudness and I just knew it was going to wake him up. I wish I could reach the window and close it…but it was very hot last night and I was cuddling with my angel so the nice night breezes were heavenly.

And the red truck stopped a few buildings down, and the sirens blared on, the engine humming noisily.

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EPOV

I turned the corner to our street, glad to be close to home now. I was tired and aggravated and needed to close my eyes for awhile.

My eyes immediately saw blue and red flashes – cops. Slowing down a little bit, I peered ahead of me in the darkness. There are cars everywhere. Our place is way up at the other end of the road so there must be some arrest or accident around here.

The whole fucking road is blocked, how the hell am I supposed to get through now? Maybe they'll move and let me pass.

Pulling up, not able to drive any further due to all the police cars and people standing around, I stopped near the police officer who was standing there, talking on a radio.

"Sir, you can't come through here now." The cop said to me, hardly glancing at me as he talked on his radio, ignoring me.

"How do you suggest I get home with all this in my way?" I had an attitude, too exhausted to be polite at this point.

"I don't care how you get home, Sir," the cop talked like a robot, with no tone, "Back up and go around, that's all I can tell you."

He began to turn and walk away from me and I called him, very pissed off now.

"Officer!" I shouted but he kept walking away.

I was going to call again or maybe get out of the car but I really didn't need to get arrested right now, either.

"Fucking asshole." I muttered, putting myself in reverse and turning, holding the passenger side headrest as I drove straight back, withdrawing myself from my own god damned street, "Unbelievable…it's 4 o'clock in the morning…"

I drove all the way around, going past my apartment building, then 10 more blocks past that before I could turn and come around. Now it was nearly 5am and I was extremely angry and annoyed.

On this other end, I could hear sirens wailing. And again, more police cars blocking the road, cops standing around, scratching their asses, earning my tax payer dollars.

"Bullshit!" I sneered, screeching my car to the curb and getting out, slamming the door loudly as I walked towards them, about five of them over here.

"Sir, sir—" one of them said to me, "This street is closed, please go back to your vehicle."

"What?!" I squinted and tried to see down the street for my building but it was dark and the police lights were blinding me from seeing shit.

"This is MY street!" I explained a bit loudly, "I live here, how can the street be closed?!"

I tried to walk around them but one of the taller cops yelled at me and moved in front of my path, blocking me.

"Sir!" he yelled again, "Go BACK to your VEHICLE I said!"

"I just want to go home and go to BED, JESUS!" I frowned and shouted back, "You can't tell me I can't go to my apartment! What the hell is this? What'd you do, find Bin Laden or something?"

Another cop approached us as we argued and asked me, "What is your problem, sir?"

"My problem is I live on this street and I can't get in there, from either fucking side!" I tried to keep my voice down, "It's late, I want some sleep and I've been driving around like a fucking moron, and no one will let me in!"

"Let me see your license." He said to me, opening his gloved hand.

"Oh, you don't believe me?" I laughed to myself, shaking my head and going for my wallet in my back pocket, "Fine. Here."

I took it out and gave it to him, squinting and trying to see down the street and he looked at it, then stared at me for a second.

"See?" I tried to smile, taking my license out of his hand, "I wasn't lying to you. I'm not a reporter or whatever, I just want to go to sleep."

"Come with me, Sir.", the cop took my arm and I thought for a second he was going to arrest me, but he began walking quickly past the cars that were blocking me and I walked with him, keeping up, guessing I'd get my car tomorrow after they were done doing whatever they were doing here.

In a couple minutes, I could see my building and was about to say to the cop, "That's my building."

But I stopped and I saw it. And I froze. A huge burst of sound, a BOOM!

"Uuggghhh!!!" I jerked up, my body tensing as I shouted, gritting through my teeth. I felt shaky and my breathing was fast and too hard. My chest was stinging.

"Hey you." A sweet soft voice was right beside me as my eyes focused…or tried to.

"Are you okay?" Bella's voice asked, her hands touching my cheeks as my eyes darted around on their own, "You were having a little nightmare, there, I think."

"Oh…" I calmed myself down, "Sorry, Bella."

"Shhh." She kissed my cheek, wiping my face with her thumbs a little bit, "Was it scary?"

She smiled and wrapped her arms around me tight as we were sitting up in front of each other.

I hugged her to me and kissed her neck, cuddling my nose in and answering, "Yes, terrifying. There was this girl named Bella who never shut up and no matter what I tried, she never stopped talking."

"Bastard!" she squirmed in my arms as I started biting her neck and her little laughing screams were like medicine, melting all my anxiety away in a few seconds

I rolled over her as she play squealed and tried to struggle but I soon pinned her down, holding her little wrists down as I licked her mouth, teasing her with little licks, not letting her get my tongue as she bit at the air, missing me.

"Got you." I informed her, "Again."

"Oh, you think so?" she smirked confidently.

"Yes I do." I came back, just as confidant, licking up the skin under her chin as she moaned and wiggled her hips under mine.

"Why did you do that?" I almost complained. And then, my penis was awake, hard and poking into my little Bella, "Look what you did, you naughty little thing."

She laughed, not sorry in the least.

"Now, just for that, I think you'll be my prisoner today." I smiled, kissing her again, deeper.

"I thought….KISS…I was your prisoner yesterday." She said as I kissed her again.

"No." I corrected, getting another kiss, "You were my _victim_ yesterday. KISS. Today, you'll be my _prisoner_. KISS. Which is an entirely different thing altogether."

"What does that mean?" she smiled as if she trusted me and I got my face into her loose robe, placing a kiss right inside her right breast, hearing her give a deep moan already.

"I tie you up, maybe here, to the bed…" I began, kissing her again, "Then I make you a nice breakfast…and I feed it to you…KISS…then I brush your little teeth for you…KISS…"

"MMMmm" she kissed me back, "Brush my teeth? And then what?"

"Then I ravage you for a few hours…" I kissed her deeper, and added, "And keep making you come until you're screaming for mercy…and water…but you won't get any…not from me…KISS."

"That would be amazing…" she smiled, "If only I didn't have school today."

"No…" I said into her mouth as I kissed her, "I'm not letting you go. I'll write a note to your teacher, signed, Dr. Frankencock."

She giggled and squirmed as I moved my lips lower, moving her robe aside with my nose and licking the sweet pink nipple staring up at me.

"He won't like it." She said as she stared up at the ceiling, "He might discipline me tomorrow."

"Absolutely not." I bit down on the nipple now as she howled out a tiny scream, then through my teeth I added, "You're _my_ little dolly."

She curled her legs around mine and just when I thought maybe she would stay here with me today, her alarm clock rang out, that annoying buzzing.

Reaching over to it, she hit the snooze button, silencing it for now.

"Mmmm.." I groaned, "What time do you have to go today?"

"In about an hour." She frowned down at my face as I licked around her nipple, at the same time I stared back at her sad little eyes.

"I don't think I like it…the way you leave me all the time." I smirked at her, "Aren't you afraid what trouble I could get into, being all by myself all day?"

"Horrified." She smiled down at me, "You don't have any appointments today?"

"No, Bella." I said with a grin.

"Well, I am going to class early and will get back early enough, around 1 today.", she said.

"Good." I said, sounding very pleased, "Perhaps today we can play out another little game I think you might enjoy."

Her face blushed hot red and her lips smiled at me.

"Perhaps.", she teased.

"This one is a little…wild." I warned her, "But you'll be totally safe with me and if you ever feel like you want it to stop…"

"I know, lo mein." She grinned, looking a little excited but nervous.

"Such a clever girl." I kissed her again, loving the taste of her.

"Come on, I'll make you something to eat." I yanked her out of bed as I went to the kitchen, "Is it okay if I remove my shirt now that it's daytime again, Mistress?"

It is getting a little warm now, this apartment heats up fast when the sun rises.

And also, I just wanted to see her expression when I said it. And it was priceless! Her bottom lip hit the floor with a crash.

I chuckled and waited for her reply.

"Yes, slave boy, strip.", she joked, watching me take off my new favorite shirt. I folded it carefully and put it on the bed so I could wear it later tonight.

She excused herself to go to the bathroom and I began to mix batter for pancakes.

It was too quiet in here so again, I snuck on the nick channel and sure enough, there was Sponge Bob. I heard Bella laughing in there at me as the water inside the room went on and a flush sounded.

Today I had it on my to do list to fix that door and the hole in the bathroom wall I'd made my second morning here. I didn't know what else I'd be doing all day. I hope she gives me something I can do.

As I stirred up the pancake batter, my mind kept going back to last night. She held me all night long. She stroked my hair and kissed me while I laid there in her embrace, fighting the fucking tears of guilt and shame that wouldn't stop. I told her I'd fucked another woman yesterday and she didn't even blink.

Why is she so nice? So calm? Or maybe that means she doesn't feel all that strongly about me and doesn't care who else I'm with as long as I'm here for her when she's home. But then…I felt how much she cares…when she put that shirt on me last night…and said what she said…I _felt_ love. I almost didn't remember it at first, but it quickly came back to me.

And her arms around me felt so god damn amazing that I really felt like a _real_ man for a few hours. I felt _clean_. I felt…

"I don't know how I'm going to be able to sit on this stool now after yesterday." Bella said, sitting on one of them to sit at the counter, watching me make the pancakes now.

I turned and smiled wickedly at her, "I've only just begun to play with _you_, Bella. Wait until you see what I've got planned in the next couple of days. I hope your bravery holds out."

"Stop trying to scare me." She joked and smiled as I gave her a glass of orange juice.

I did my best evil laugh, sounding like a cheesy villain from an old movie as she giggled with me and I poured batter onto the flat pan beneath me.

"So, are you gonna tell me?" she asked mysteriously, drinking the juice.

"Tell you what?" I asked, truly not knowing what she was referring to.

"Your nightmare." She replied calmly, "You must know that I'm very good at interpreting dreams."

I tensed for a second then made myself relax right away. I didn't need an interpretation. The dream was clear and I knew what it was.

"Do you know that you talk in your sleep?" I asked her, getting her off the subject.

My eyes looked at her and I raised a brow at her as her cheeks flushed redly at my whim. God, that is sexy.

I flipped a pancake or two over as she was the nervous one now, on the hot seat.

"I've been told…" her voice was very timid and quiet now, "that. What did I SAY?"

"Mmmm…." I played with her now, putting three pancakes on a plate, "Amazing, perverse…_hot_ things…things I'll _never_ tell _you."_

I placed her plate in front of her as her mouth formed a thin line.

"Come on." She pleaded.

"Nope." I put the plastic bottle of syrup down on the counter and handed her a fork, too.

"Brat." She fumed and pouted. She was so adorable I nearly laughed and told her. But no, that is my little secret. I wanted to keep it to myself for awhile.

She huffed and started to eat as I got my own plate and sat across from her at the counter. At least she forgot about asking about my dreams.

"Edward…can I ask you something?"

"Sure." I said, hoping it was something I could answer.

"Last night, you said Victoria told you, that first time you…worked for her…that she owned you and saved your life. Is that for real, or is that like, an expression?"

"No." I answered, taking a bite of pancake oozing with syrup, "She _did_ own me, at first. And she really _did_ save my life. I had borrowed a lot of money from this loan shark someone told me about. Even when I took it, I knew I couldn't ever pay it back…and they want it back plus interest. I was kinda back on the streets for a few days then and I just kept walking and taking trains, to anywhere, randomly, trying to hide from them. Then, one night my luck ran out and I heard them following me. It was real late at night, I think around 2 in the morning or something, and they grabbed me, took me into an alley and proceeded to beat the shit out of me, asking for their money. I didn't really know how to fight back then, and even if I did, it's not much of a fair fight, one guy holding you while the other punches you in the face and stomach. Anyway, this alley happened to be behind Fire, and Emmett heard the whole thing…and he beat those guys up and brought me into the club, into the back door.

I was pretty hurt, had some broken ribs. Emmett had me in the dressing room and was taking care of me, taping them up. Victoria soon showed up in there and that's when I met her. She was very nice, she said I had a nice chest and then said she was going to call an ambulance but then the loan sharks busted in the back door and demanded me.

I knew I was dead, they had their guns cocked and even when Victoria asked what they wanted, they said they wanted to take me out back and shoot me in the face. They were pissed and hurt after Emmett's attack.

I started to stand up to go with them and Emmett shoved me down into my chair and stood in front of me. And then Victoria stood in front of Emmett. She asked them how much I owed them.

Victoria told them to give her 15 minutes and they'd get their money. She took me up to her office and made me take all my clothes off. She told me to…show her how much I wanted to live and then if I was good enough, maybe she'd pay those guys and save me. I…did it with her…and then she paid my debt.

The loan sharks left, paid, telling me I was lucky and not to ever go to them for money again.

Then Victoria turned to me and told me that she owned me now and I would work for her and do anything she said. And that's when I started to work at Fire."

"Edward…" she said in a low voice, staring at her plate, her fork picking at the pancakes.

"She saved me." I stated simply, hearing the pity in Bella's voice, "She didn't have to, she could've let them kill me. And I thought I was dead, even after I did Victoria. I thought I didn't do well because I was hurt and had broken ribs and it hurt like hell, but I guess she liked me enough to help me out."

I kept eating and saw Bella staring at her glass of juice now, thinking about something I couldn't read in her eyes.

"Why did you borrow money, why did you need all that money?" she asked, looking at me.

"I told you…I was broke." I hoped she'd just leave it at that. But this is Bella and she didn't.

"But you wouldn't go to loan sharks to borrow money just for rent or something, that's insane."

I laughed. "Aren't you supposed to refrain from words like _insane_ when you're talking to your patients? That's not very Dr. Bella of you."

"I'm not Dr. Bella right now." She informed, a tad frustrated now.

I was finished eating and it looked like she wasn't hungry, either.

"Are you done?" I asked.

"No, I'm not done. I just want to know you, Edward." She sounded so lost and small suddenly, "I'm not trying to pry, I just wish you would trust me more. I told you, I am your friend. You can talk to me."

I smirked and looked down into her sweet little eyes, correcting myself.

"No, I meant…" I lifted her plate a little, "Are you done…_eating_?"

"Oh." She turned bright red again and I couldn't stifle a little snicker, "Yes, thank you."

"Bella…" I began carefully as I put the dishes near the sink, "I know you want to know me…and I am trying very hard to help you and answer your questions. I _really_ am. But there are some things I just can't tell you. Things if I told you, you wouldn't understand. I do trust you and I can't believe that only 3 days in, I'm telling you what I'm telling you. But there are some doors that are locked _forever_ and will _never_ open again. Do you…understand that?"

"Yes." She looked a little defeated as she looked at me, and added, "But I will keep trying and you can't get mad at me for that. It's my job. It's not really about my grade in school anymore, Edward. I really want to help _you_."

"You are." I walked up to the counter, taking her face in my hands and kissing her, "Do you know how long it's been since someone has _held_ me? KISS. And wanted to _talk_ to me? KISS. I am so sorry that I'm making it hard for you."

I leaned my forehead to hers and closed my eyes, smiling, and saying, "You make me feel _real_, Bella. I like this."

She let out a breath and she stood up, holding me closer as I placed another small kiss against her sweet, syrup tasting mouth.

"Go get dressed for school, Bella." I said before I decided to take her right here on the countertop.

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BPOV

I was still deep in thought about Edward as I walked with the girls to school. They asked me how things with Edward were going and I just said, "Fine."

I didn't want to tell them anything and I knew they were a little upset or hurt at my silence, but I didn't care. I was so hurt and sad and confused, frustrated and feeling incompetent, giddy in love and heartbroken at the same time.

He would never leave this lifestyle. He said so. And he didn't fully trust me, either. But what did I expect, it's only been 3 days. I expected too much, I didn't want to work hard for it. I decided to stop being a little brat and be more patient…and to keep trying. _Don't give up_ became my new motto.

That bitch, Victoria! He really talked as if he trusted her, but he can't trust me? I bet _she_ knows his whole life story. What a pimp ! How could she do that to him? I fantasized the whole scene in my head…

Edward sitting there, his shirt off as Emmett wrapped white tape over the broken bones, the bruises coloring his white skin darkly as he held a cloth to his bleeding mouth.

"OWWWW…" Edward groaned, wincing as the tape pulled them together snugly.

And then Victoria's voice came floating up behind Edward's bare back.

"Well, well, well…" she cooed, "What do we have here?"

"Oh," Emmett stood up and Edward half turned towards her, holding a hand over the taped area of his body, "Victoria, this is Edward. He was having a little trouble out back and I brought him inside to patch him up a little bit."

"Emmett, you're so cute…" Victoria smiled at Edward as she spoke to Emmett, running her hand through Edward's bronze locks, then down his back, "Always taking in strays…"

"I'm sorry, I should go." Edward cringed, holding his ribs as he tried to stand and pick up his crumpled shirt.

"No, no, no…" Victoria eased him back down into the chair as Emmett did the same, "Stay…this is my place and you're my guest. How about a nice drink and something to eat? And I'll call an ambulance if you need one."

"Oh no, I couldn't…" he was probably embarrassed that he was hungry but at the same time, proud.

"I insist." Victoria smiled, stroking the back of her fingers along his cheek, "You look hungry, my love. I'm going to get you a nice juicy steak, Edward. Let Emmett help you, he's very good at taking care of bruises and things. Stay."

She walked away and gave Emmett a look.

I imagined a friendly conversation between Edward and Emmett about who those guys were who were beating him and why…and then Victoria brought him a nice hot meal and probably sat there, with him and Emmett, listening to the whole story as Edward ate, not able to resist the scent of steak cooking. It was probably days since he had last eaten.

And then, perhaps, by this time, the loan sharks or their henchmen, whatever they were, probably came to in the alley and were now very pissed and busted in the back door of the club, wanting revenge…wanting Edward.

Like Edward said, I saw them in my mind, guns in hand, staring at a frightened but still Edward.

"Get up, pretty boy.", one of them sneered in my vision, "Time to pay."

Emmett stood up right away, a bulking wall of muscle.

"You want some more?" Emmett threatened more violence on the pair, smiling and ready, standing in front of Edward.

They cocked their guns at Emmett's face and one of them said, "Unless you can catch bullets in your teeth, you'll get out of the way and let us transact our business. Stay out of it. It's none of your concern."

Edward stood up and held his hand against his right side, saying, "Emmett, _don't._ He's right, I'll go with them."

"Sit down, Edward." Victoria stood up, frowning and saying to the men, "This is MY place, how dare you come in here with GUNS?!"

"Victoria, no!", Edward lightly scolded her, not wanting her to get hurt, either.

"That little cock sucker owes us a lot of money!" one of the men shouted, "We were going to let him have one more day, after a little warning, but now we're pissed! That goon of yours put a lump on the back of my head and broke my partner's hand! Be glad we're just shooting pretty boy, there, in his cute little face and not _your_ boy, too."

"Wait here." Victoria said with a wicked tone of voice to them, "I will go upstairs, have a little talk with Edward, here, and then I will bring you your money, in cash."

She slowly moved, standing in front of Emmett now, protecting her dancer.

Edward's face frowned in confusion and hesitation as he looked at her, but she kept her eyes on the men with guns.

"You think we're stupid?" one of them asked, "We're not waiting around while you call the cops."

She scoffed and Emmett laughed.

"Cops." She laughed to herself, "I have drugs and whores in private rooms fucking clients here, you think I call cops…for any reason? I don't need a cop, I can fuck you two up all by my self. This is not my first time, you know."

They looked quickly at each other, thinking.

"I know that you work for someone else." Victoria informed so calmly, smiling, "And that if you don't get his money tonight, you are both in a lot of trouble yourselves. You may get a little pleasure out of killing Edward, but then you'll never get your money. And what will your boss say to you, then?"

They looked nervous and swallowed, realizing she was right.

"Give me a moment to deal with Edward." Victoria backed up and took Edward by the hand, "Once we work out _our _business, and if that goes well, I'll bring your money down to you myself…in cash. That's the deal. Take it…or leave it."

Finally, one of them said, "Hurry up."

"Certainly. Come, Edward." Victoria gave a charming smile and led Edward away with her, asking Emmett to chat with them until she got back.

The walk down the hallway and over the red line that led into the full, dark club must've been difficult for Edward, with broken ribs. He probably saw, then, the dancers and the women and the cage as she silently led him up the stairs to her private office.

The office door closed and she turned the lock, a deadbolt, walking a few steps away from him, sitting on her desktop and looking at him, crossing her long, creamy legs.

"Edward, Edward, Edward…" she shook her head, "Tsk, tsk, tsk…you are in a terrible predicament, aren't you, my love?"

He stood close to the locked door, smart enough to know what she wanted from him. Not used to being in this type of situation, his nostrils flared and his jaw set, his mouth a hard line, his eyes going to the floor, desperately empty as he tried to think a way out of this mess.

"You can't pay them all that money." He said with a dull tone of voice, "And why would you? You don't even _know_ me."

"Well, that's why I brought you up _here_." Victoria put her hands on the desk at her sides, smiling and toying with him, her eyes moving over his chest, "We're going to get to know each other…and if I like you, I'll pay those assholes. After which point, you will be mine, completely, until you pay back your debt. You'll do everything I say, and work for me. Or…if not, you can limp your ass back downstairs, go with those guys outside and let them fuck your mouth with their guns before they shoot you. I know those guys. I know who they work for. They won't kill you _quickly_. It will take a long, long time. And when they kill you, you'll be glad."

"What do you _want_?" he asked, his arms holding his ribs as he hunched over a little, leaning against the door.

"Take off your clothes, _everything."_ She said, right to the point, unashamed.

His eyes widened and darted up to hers at this and she held her stare back at him, showing him she wasn't kidding.

He didn't move for a bit, his breathing increasing just a tad as he thought over his options, not liking either of them.

"You don't want to _die_, do you, Edward?" she pushed gently with her words, "You have something to live for, don't you? You don't want to lose it forever, _do you_, Edward?"

After a minute, Victoria rolled her eyes and said, "Oh, come on, Edward, do you really prefer a painful death over ME?"

Edward stood there another minute, then finally closed his eyes for a second or two, his hands unbuttoning his pants and unzipping them, exhaling and pulling them down, groaning in a bit of pain from his ribs.

Victoria grinned, nodding a couple times as he kicked off his boots, removing the pants, letting them sit in a puddle on the carpet, and then quickly removing his underwear before he let himself think about it too much.

He leaned back to the door now with a disturbed expression, his arms tense and his right hand clung to his left arm, his hands fists, covering his genitals as his body shivered a bit, his eyes on the floor below him.

"Relax, love, relax…" she smiled at his innocence and felt aroused, "It's only skin, I see it every day. Turn around…slow. Let me see you, angel."

With a shudder, he slowly made himself turn around. The motion seemed to take an eternity but finally his ass was facing her and he let his head hit the door with a little thud, resting it there, his eyes closed as his breathing increased and became troubled.

Victoria even thought she heard him whimper.

"Are you crying?" she giggled, "_Jesus_."

He didn't answer.

"You have a good ass." She gave her professional opinion, "A little more muscle wouldn't hurt. You'll work out everyday from now on. Emmett will show you. Turn back around."

He obeyed her, his eyes wet and cold as he looked at her, his mouth in a cement frown.

"Put your arms down." She ordered, waiting.

He hesitated again and she smiled, saying, "Those guys aren't going to wait forever. And if they shoot Emmett while they're waiting, that'll be all _your_ fault."

Exhaling again, he stiffly put his arms at his sides, pinning them against the door as if something was holding them their against his will.

"Wow." She looked impressed, "I see why you were protecting _that_. Very good, Edward. Make it hard."

His eyes darted up to hers. "What?" he breathed, in disbelief.

"Make. It. _Hard."_ She spelled it out slowly as if he were slow or something.

"I can't just…make it…hard…" he looked humiliated, "I'm not a machine!"

"Sure you are." She said without emotion, "We're _all _machines. If you want to live and survive, you better _make_ yourself a machine. _Now_. If you belong to me, I won't tolerate this hesitation and there will be no coddling. I'm not a kindergarten teacher and you're no child. Stop wasting my time and make it _hard_."

She gave him a minute or two and he closed his eyes, struggling internally. And soon, he was erect and hating it.

"Come here, Edward." She demanded without pity.

She pulled up her little dress, exposing her small patch of red hair between her legs as he slowly approached, his face full of turmoil and pain.

"Lesson one." Victoria held his chin in her soft, perfumed hand, shaking it a little, "Lose that face. No tears, no disgust, no frown…_smile_."

He let out a tortured breath at this remark and she frowned at him squeezing his face a little harder, "Smile, Edward. Make me believe you want me."

His lips turned up at the corners a bit, trying to smile but his eyes were full of loss and hurt.

"Come on, try again…" she cooed sweetly, seeing him trying, "Let me see your pretty smile, love."

He smiled more but it never touched his eyes.

"We can work on that later." She looked disappointed, "Fuck me."

"Victoria…" his eyes clenched shut for a moment.

"Now." She laid back on her desk, "I like it hard and rough. No kissing. Although you'll learn to do that for clients later. Come on, Edward, tick tock."

Without a word, he came closer to her, and winced as she put her legs up on his shoulders, resting them there, waiting.

"Make it good, Edward." She warned, "Make me cum and I'll pay your bill."

The bell rang and I jumped sharply, seeing James standing in front of the class, putting down his chalk and dusting off his hands, "That's it. Have a good day, people."

Shit. Class is over and I don't think I heard a word of it. Crap, I hope there's no test on anything he just said.

I took my bag and began to walk out, falling near the back of the crowd and following as I heard James ask, "You alright, Bella?"

I snapped alert and turned to him, stopping.

"Yea, fine." I lied.

The rest of the kids were out now and James smirked, knowing better, "I know that look on your face. That was the – I'm a million miles away - look. I'm a psych professor, I know these things."

"I'm sorry…I just…wandered, I guess…" I tried to explain it, failing miserably.

"Come here, sit down." He offered me a desk in the front row, and sat at the one beside me, "Talk to me, Bella. What's on your mind?"

I was stupid…I was hurting…and feeling like I was failing Edward…and without thinking about it, I started to cry.

I felt like a damn fool and worse, a little girl and I was humiliated that James was seeing me like this. He must think I'm such a screw up.

"Uh oh." James said calmly, going to his desk and coming back with a real cloth hankerchief, giving it to me.

I took it and held it over my mouth, more to block the little sobs threatening to come out. Something inside me was in great pain and I had been holding it in, and now I couldn't stop it.

"Shhhh.." James sat down next to me again, waiting for me to speak.

"I'm never gonna be a psychiatist." I wept through the cloth.

"Yes you will, Bella." James said, unflinchingly, "And you'll be a great one."

"I'm so afraid to ask what I'm supposed to ask." I cried, the tears really falling now, "And afraid of what his answers will be. And I'm so scared he'll get mad and leave if I ask things too hard to answer. And I want to help him but he keeps pushing me away. And I hate hurting him with my questions. He cried last night and I wanted to die. Just when I think I'm starting to know him, he doesn't answer me and he wants to talk about sex again."

"Alright, you're talking about Edward." James said, confirming to himself aloud, "I know he's a tough first patient and I warned you it would be difficult. Sex is his crutch, his shield to hide behind. You know that already. But you can do this. You're not afraid – like – thinking he'll turn violent, are you?"

"No." I sniffed, "He's not violent."

Images of him holding his hand over my mouth flashed to mind and my body felt warm for two seconds.

"Okay." James stared at me, a pleasant look on his face, as far as I could tell through my tears, "What is it you're afraid of, Bella?"

"If I tell you…promise me you'll never say anything…" I heard my voice whimper.

"I promise, Bella." James squinted a bit, "Doctor's oath, remember?"

"I care about him." I was sobbing a little again, "I think…"

"Think what, Bella?" James put a hand on my back.

I sugarcoated it and said, "I think I'm having…feelings for him."

The truth was – I was deeply in love with him and knew I could never get out of it now. I wanted to be with him forever, but I knew that was impossible for us. A million and three things stood in our way and I know he can never love me in return, after all he's been through. It would take a miracle for him to even say the words I love you and mean them.

And even it he did, we still had one million and two more obstacles to overcome. I felt like I was looking at a field of mountains as the winds blew and the thunder crashed…and I already felt tired.

We could never make it. We would never make it.

"Bella." James rubbed my back as he spoke calmly, not acting surprised, "This is very common. Especially when you're still learning like you are. It's okay to care about him, that's what a good therapist does. But you can't have feelings for him, Bella, you can't. You have to stop yourself. I know you said he's very attractive and it's his job to be charming and flirty and lure you in. He's a master manipulator from what I've heard of him so far and he will keep doing it, even if he doesn't realize he's doing it. You can't let him seduce you that way, Bella. You have to be stronger than him."

I can't let him seduce me…_that is for to laugh_, I heard my inner teenager quip as I recalled the seven orgasms, him ramming himself into me from behind, the stool, the counter, the shower, the massage! He had already seduced me numerous times and not only my body – my mind, my heart, my soul even!

I quieted a little and croaked, "What if I'm not?"

"Then you have to let him find a real doctor…and you have to let him go." James said certainly, "For his sake as well as yours. You can't help a drowning person if you're drowning, too, can you?"

James loved the drowning person image. I guess he had stuck that into my mind also, that's how I saw Edward last night.

"No." I sniffed, wiping my eyes with the hankerchief.

"You'll be alright, Bella." James smiled and looked at me closer, "Would you like me to drive you home?"

"No." I began to stand, "I can walk, it's so nice outside."

"Alright." He stood with me, patting my shoulder, "Have a nice evening. Keep your chin up."

"Thanks." I went to hand him back his hankerchief and he held a hand up, saying, "Keep it, sweetie."

Yea, I guess he doesn't want it back now, after I slobbered all over it.

I folded it and tried to smile at him as I left class, him right behind me, saying goodbye again as he went towards the parking lot and I walked off campus, towards home.

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BPOV

By the time I reached home, I did feel a lot better – but more like an idiot for breaking down in front of James that way. I guess I needed to let it out, though, and really did feel as if I had been cleansed, in a way.

My problems were not gone by any means, but I told myself that I could handle this. I would have to try harder with Edward and keep my feelings for him light and not get too heavy with him.

I feared me holding him all night would scare him away more but this morning he did voice that he had enjoyed being held and I truly believed him. He said I made him feel real. I got misty eyed even now, recalling his voice saying those words.

From now on, I would have to be happy with our time together, enjoy it, try my best to help him, stop being afraid to hurt his feelings, and stop being scared to make him angry. I would have to start doing my job…no matter what.

I missed him again, even though in my thoughts, I never really left him. His kiss this morning when I left was the most powerful one yet and I did find myself trusting him, despite my brain's warnings. This I felt in the heart. And my heart wasn't listening to my mind at this point.

This was certainly going to end in disaster and I knew that, too.

When I reached the top of the stairs, part of me was paranoid and looking around, wondering if Edward would jump out from behind me again to do a repeat of yesterday's performance. But, sadly, no rapist on my stairs today.

Instead, there was a note inside on the kitchen counter. A little gold sticky note that read only – _Put a tank top and skirt on and come to me_.

There was an address, this was a few blocks away, in town.

I felt my lips smile and I went to my room to follow my instructions right away, wondering what was going on but the mystery and anticipation was making me crazy.

I even put a little more makeup on, looking at myself in the full length mirror in my bathroom. I didn't look bad at all, I thought, unusually, as I looked over my little white tank top that held my breasts up and together quite nicely, giving me a pretty little cleavage, and my light, airy gauze red mini skirt, along with a cute pair of shoes Alice got me last month, red high heels, and a strap that went around my ankle, very sexy. I bet Edward will love _these_.

I almost didn't wear underwear but decided against it, not sure what the plan was exactly. Besides, if a nice stiff wind blew up, my skirt was so sheer it would fly up with it and I'd give everyone on the street a nice little peep show.

I fixed my hair and even used a little perfume, then I hurried out, only taking a little red purse with me to hold my house key in. I went back and put a couple of condoms in there, too, Just in case. With Edward, I was never sure what he was up to.

I had the little sticky note in hand and got to the street he had written. Now I just had to locate the right building.

243, 243…I needed. All these buildings were stores, shops, restaurants…maybe he's meeting me for lunch.

Okay, this is 216 where I am now. I needed to cross the street and keep walking a little bit more.

I passed people and a couple of men smiled at me as I went by and I felt myself blush. Men are too easy. Just wear a little makeup and some high heels and their tongues are hanging out.

I reached 243 and saw it was a book store. _The Guardian_ the sign said. I looked at my note and in the window. It was huge inside, very empty people wise, an older man sitting at the register in front, reading a book, his glasses perched down his nose, appearing bored.

Why would Edward want me to come here and wear a skirt and tank top? Maybe this is wrong.

I went to the door and opened it, a little bell ringing merrily as I stepped in. The old man straightened up, pushing up his glasses as the dim light from the sun made a little white spot against his almost bald head.

Smiling at me, he was the soul of friendliness and customer service.

"Good afternoon, Miss." He stood alertly at his post.

"Good afternoon." I grinned back, looking around. It was very silent and pleasantly a bit dark in here, not lots of bright lights, only the sun from the window giving some light inside. Rows and rows of books went far back into the store and it looked darker the further back they went.

"May I help you find anything special, my dear?" he asked, trying to be helpful.

Yea, where's my hot demon Edward?

"Umm, no thanks, I'll just browse around, if that's alright." I replied timidly.

"Certainly." He gave a nod, "Take your time. Call me if you need anything."

"Thanks." I glanced back at him, slowly walking down the tall bookcases that were as tall as the ceiling. I peeked into each row, looking for Edward, finding no one. I think I'm the only one in this store. There were red signs here and there that said things like, "Please return books to shelves correctly. Thank you."

As I walked further in, I gasped. There were stone pillars and marble columns and back here, the ceiling raised up in a cathedral style, looking now like a church, a castle with lots of dark rows of bookcases that reached about thirty feet over my head.

This is amazing ! So beautiful! It wasn't a nice, bright, cheery looking castle, either. It looked medieval, dark, and a feeling of foreboding crept inside me.

This must be a converted church or something I told myself, seeing large tables over against the wall, with chairs to sit and read at, and it was very dim over there. There was one lamp on each table but they were shut off, I guess to save electricity if no one was in here reading.

I looked for about ten minutes and didn't see another soul in this place. The old man was worlds away now, at the front of the store and I was wondering if maybe he or I had made a mistake somewhere in the plan.

I turned to start walking back but then I noticed a long aisle going to the left I hadn't checked yet and a sign over the aisle read "Sexual Help".

My mouth smiled and I muttered to myself, "You prick…"

I know he's in there, I just know it.

Slowly, I went towards the aisle and peeked in. No one there. I looked around. No one anywhere. I walked inside the aisle and was both comforted and nervous about the dimness surrounding me. One small light shone up from the ceiling but I began to browse at the books I was walking past.

I let my fingers touch one or two of them, and then I saw one that looked pretty naughty and right up my aisle. "Learning to be a Submissive."

Peeking around me, I saw nothing and took a breath, opening the book and flipping into it. Wow! The pictures ! I was mesmerized by the black leather collars and rubber outfits…the incredible positions they were tied in baffled me and I felt my mouth sitting open as I began to move the book around sideways, trying to figure out if she was upside down or not….

"I've read that one.",a deep male voice said behind me and I screamed out loud, throwing the book up into the air and feeling it hit me in the nose as it fell to the floor. That whole thing had happened in one second.

A small chuckle came from the voice behind me and I didn't look yet. I squatted down to pick the book up and I began to shove it back into it's tight place in the bookcase but the hand behind me reached out and took it from me.

I knew it was Edward but I was trying to recover from my heart attack with some shred of maturity. Also, I wanted my face to cool so he wouldn't see me blushing. I hated blushing.

"A submissive's role is to serve and to give pleasure." His husky voice read out of the book behind me, "But it must be a gift, given to her Master freely and with complete love and affection."

I almost went to turn towards him but stopped myself. His hand slowly moved up the side of my leg and traveled up inside my skirt, stroking delicately up and down.

"A submissive is a volunteer." He read, his voice like molten lava sex, "A slave is _not_ a volunteer."

His free hand was high up my outer thigh, massaging a little more deeply now, moving along behind me, under my panties, caressing my right ass cheek as he kept reading.

"Your Master may lash your body with his whip," he read, his fingers clutching the side strap of my panties, "But it is also his pleasure to kiss and caress the pain away."

He began to pull my panties down a bit and I looked straight ahead, seeing through the bookcase, over the tops of the books before me, and looked around in horror for other people. This is a public place…oh no…is he going to….right here in the middle of a store? Holy fuck!!

I can see myself now, calling my father to bail me out because I was caught fornicating in a book store.

"Does any of that…_interest_ you?" he asked, not reading from the book anymore.

He was kind of asking if I wanted to go further and I kept looking through the cracks, into the next aisle. His hand waited, not moving my panties down yet.

I was shaking all over and answered, "Yes."

"Mmmmm…" his voice purred as he put the book back into its place and then both of his hands were under my skirt, stroking up and down my legs. His body was right up against me, behind me, pressing his hard penis into my ass. I felt his mouth kiss the cotton over my back and I smiled to myself, glad I skipped wearing the bra this once. I remember angry rapist yelling about it yesterday.

His fingers roamed under the easy little skirt and rubbed more firmly over the front of my panties, moving up and down right in the creases between my thighs and crotch. I put my head back against his shoulder and sighed, trembling all over as his lips and tongue traveled all over the inside of my neck.

Shoving my long hair aside with his face he began to take bites and rougher kisses. I could feel his hands slide down into my panties and fingers touched my clit and traveled down the little hair inside.

I gasped out, then quieted myself as he whispered darkly into my ear.

"I'm going to fuck you Bella…right here…right now…" his voice made me even wetter as I shivered more, "Do you _want _me?"

"Yes." I whispered, feeling a little dizzy from the fear and excitement at the same time.

"You little slut…"he seethed in my ear, "So horny, you will let me fuck you right in the middle of a bookstore…you should be ashamed of yourself."

"Yes, Edward." I said as subserviently as Edward always says yes, Bella, to me all the time. I heard him chuckle again.

His hands slowly moved my panties down and he squatted down with them then said, "Lift your feet out…hold on."

I lifted one high heeled foot out of the panties and then the other, holding onto the shelf in front of me.

"Shit, look at those shoes!" Edward commented as he noticed them more now.

I peeked again through the bookcase and then to the side, panting in fear of the old man or another customer walking by and seeing us.

He put my panties in between two books, some sticking out a bit as his hands slowly moved over the tank top, up and down…up and down…creating hot friction there and his mouth kissing my bare shoulders, licking…sinking teeth in just enough to make me moan out, trying to keep it quiet.

"I love what you're wearing, Bella." His voice kept dripping sexily into my ear, "You are so fucking sexy and you don't even know it. I love that about you."

His fingers moved the straps of my tank top sideways, off my shoulders, moving them down and using his fingers that traveled over my breasts to push the top down to my waist, off my naked chest.

The top was down around my arms and waist, almost trapping my arms at my sides. His mouth found my lips and he was kissing my mouth hard as my nude breasts became victims of his rough, squeezing hands.

"Uuuuhhhhh…." I sounded, going from closing my eyes in lust and opening them suddenly to check if anyone was coming.

His lips kept probing mine and his tongue fought mine for dominance as his hands traveled down to my skirt again, yanking it up and letting it rest above my bare ass.

"Step your feet up to the first shelf.", he said, his breathing as deep as mine was.

I did what he said, hoping I wouldn't fall, clumsy as I was and the high heels were not my usual shoe, either.

But I had a little room on the first shelf below me to properly place my shoes down, side by side. My hands held the shelf in front of them and I felt like I was pretty secure here.

"Apart." He demanded with a stern voice, parting my legs until they were very far apart. They shook a bit and he moved some books in front of me aside, clearing the shelf and ordered, "Bend over."

I was able to lay my breasts on the shelf and bend a bit now, sticking my ass and vagina, spread eagle, out to him.

I kept imagining someone coming and seeing us, even a person coming to the aisle before this one would see my tits and head staring back at them.

"Yes…" Edward stroked his fingers along my pussy and began to insert them one finger at a time inside me, pumping them in and out as I tried to moan and gasp as quietly as I could.

"You are so _filthy_…" he whispered, his cock still in his jeans but rubbing and poking my ass as he fucked me with his long cool fingers as they curled deep inside of me, "Look at you, moaning and being fucked by my hand in public in the Sexual Help section."

His words pushed me closer and closer to the edge and I was so god damned turned on by them, along with the attentions of his hand. I wanted to scream out but clamped my lips down hard, trying to block out my surroundings and just concentrate on him.

I had always been the "good girl, the nice girl, the plain girl." It felt so stimulating, forbidden and sensual being the filthy little slut that is so horny she'd let herself be taken and fucked in the middle of a store like this.

Edward is a GOD! It's like he can see into my brain and knows what I need.

I was leaning over the shelf now, my breasts propped against their edge as my long hair and face hung slightly into the next aisle, panting and growling, biting my lips down and wincing in pure heat. I could hear his fingers squishing in and out of me, the wetness and the fear intense and red hot.

For a long time, he fingered me and licked his fingers, then inserted them again. I came three times from that alone and hardly made that much noise, even though, inside my head I was screaming and howling.

I felt like a human book at that point, sitting on a tight shelf, books snugly on both sides of my arms as my ass hung out the other end, legs still wide apart and wobbling to stay on the little edge of the shelves, feet trembling and clawing to stay on the wood below them as I heard Edward behind me, unzipping his jeans.

All Edward could see of me now was my ass and legs from his place behind me and I found that extremely erotic, like I was an object in the shelves, only here for the customers that would come in, needing sexual help, and using me without a word, as if reading me, as I was stuck in here, helpless and trapped.

"I had no idea when I came in this aisle, how helpful this section would be." He said, sounding like he was smiling before I heard a plastic crinkling, his condom, I guessed – and then he was slowly inserting his head into my sopping wet pussy.

He kept teasing me, inserting a bit, then withdrawing…inserting again a little more…I wanted to scream at him but all I could get out were growls and deep panting breaths.

"Alright, sexy Bella," he finally chuckled, "I'll stop fooling around and get to it."

At this, he inserted himself all the way inside me and I gave a semi-scream, trying to take it quietly as he grabbed at my waist, slapping my ass cheeks against his hips as he slammed me over and over, faster and harder.

"Did you know this was a church before they turned it into a bookstore?" he asked as he kept fucking me, messing with my mind as well as with my body, "Which means you're being fucked on holy ground, in the most sacred of places, church! I guess that means you're going to hell with _me_ now."

I screamed out, unable to restrain myself at that last line.

I want to go to hell, if that's where you are. Screw heaven. Clouds and wings are highly overrated. I'll take sex in the cages of flame with Edward instead…_any day._

"I hope no one hears you and comes to find you." He teased and made me worry as he kept pounding me, the slapping sounds a bit louder than my noises of lust.

"That would be _so_ humiliating for you, Bella…" he said, his voice a bit strained as he kept pumping, holding my legs for leverage to thrust deeper inside.

He let out a very deep and low growl, coming as I bit my teeth into the edge of the shelf I laid on, trying to hold my own screams in.

Edward was panting very hard as he withdrew, making a SSSSSSSS sound, as if he were feeling a very sensitive burn.

I heard him zip up and take a step back as my eyes got dizzier. I couldn't even form words right now.

"See you at home, Bella." , he said and then he walked out of the aisle, leaving me there as I watched his back go by through the next aisle, my hair half over my eyes as he strolled away.

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See next chapter !

Sorry it took a little time to get this one out!

Real life sucks!

PS – Do you think it was dumb of Bella to cry and break down in front of James? Let me know your opinion on that and if you think James should be trusted.

Thanks for all who are reviewing and are liking this story!

Love, WinndSinger


	11. Words

11

Notes:

Hey, guys, I just wanted to thank you for over 1000 reviews! I am still so amazed everyone is liking this so much! Cool beans!

And there was a question about Edward using a hot wet cloth on Bella's privates after the stool sex – no, he did not slip, no Bella is not getting pregnant, he just did this to soothe her and make her feel good, as she took a particularly hard banging that time and she was still a bit new to the whole sex and tying up experience, so that was just Edward being sweet, thoughtful him and it did not have anything to do with semen or pregnancy, so, hope that answers your question.

And, the loan shark thing happened after the thing that happened in Edward's dream, after the marriage to Tanya, and more will be explained on that soon. Edward has worked for Victoria for a couple of years now, so any debt he owed her is paid off already, but once she got him into this lifestyle, he now finds he still needs the money and is trapped as her employee now.

Thanks again for reviewing and sticking with this story. Love you guys!

WinndSinger

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BPOV

It is 4pm now. Edward had made his private phone call outside and was now sitting in front of me, on the sofa, pleasantly smiling as I hit my record button and said, "Edward – session four."

"Hi, Edward." I began, trying to hide the slight attitude in my voice.

Trying to suppress a bigger smile, he responded, "Hi Dr. Bella."

I knew that was coming and I snorted. "Do you even know my last name?"

"Yes." He said without any change in his face, "Swan. Do you know mine?"

I sighed and tried to forget how humiliated I was at being left on a shelf, naked as he walked away from me.

Is he trying to make me angry at him? Is he trying to shove me away again? I hate this…I feel like I can't even be mad at him because he's my patient first, lover second.

I put a smile on my face and went to my list of questions for him, choosing a lighter one.

"Tell me about what it was like when you first joined Fire." I said with an icy voice.

"Wait." He squinted a bit, "What's wrong, Bella?"

"Nothing." I lied, my hands holding a pen so tight, I feared it might break in half.

"Bella…" he probed on, his eyes darkening a shade, "You're angry with me. If it's one thing I know, it's when a woman isn't happy. Have I not pleased you?"

He was leaning forward, very interested to know how he had hurt me. I hate when he talks like a slave. But it's not his fault, this is who he is, who Victoria and all those women have molded him into. Be patient with him. Don't show your anger. Be professional.

I was going to deny being angry again but I guessed he was right, he knew what I was feeling, like always. I should be honest with him, even if he doesn't like it.

Damn, why does he have to be so sweet and vulnerable now? He looks so sad and sullen, as if he'd done something horrible.

Just say what's on your mind, Bella. Stir him up a bit.

"Why did you just leave me there like that?!", I heard my own voice raise before I knew what I was saying, "Do you know how embarrassing it is to try and put your panties back on, in high heels, when your legs are so weak that you can hardly stand up, and at the same time, trying to pull your shirt over your naked breasts in a public place, praying to God no one finds you?"

"You're asking ME this question?" he smirked playfully, "In my world, that's a delightful little Sunday!"

"Well, in my world, it's unbelievably humiliating!" I heard my own voice and hated it, I sounded like a 3rd grader.

I made my eyes peek at him, seeing his bare chest, a soft, toned wall of muscle, and his snug blue shorts accenting his manhood very definitely. Why does he have to be this fucking beautiful? I can't even be mad at him. Damn him.

"I'm sorry, Bella." His eyes went down, in a submissive way, an ashamed way, and I hated it. I hated that I had done that to him.

"You can punish me." he said quietly, "It's your right and I won't fight it. As long as you forgive me afterwards."

"Edward, stop it." I frowned to myself, feeling sick inside, "I don't want to punish you. And please don't talk to me like you're my _slave_. I _hate_ it."

"But you're angry with me." He looked up at me, his eyes hurt, "I am truly sorry. I left you there because it is part of the fantasy…I didn't _want_ to leave you."

"Forget it," I tensed and grabbed my notebook, "Let's just go back to our session."

Edward's head dropped at that and I heard him exhale a sharp breath. His hands were clutching at his hair again and my heart broke.

Tossing my notebook down, I softened my voice, lost my anger and said, "Come here, Edward. Please."

And I couldn't believe it, but he crawled over the couple feet towards my chair. It was an instinct for him, as natural as a person would rise and walk across the room.

It would have been truly pitiful if it wasn't so incredibly erotic and arousing to see this toned, flawless being on his hands and knees, coming to me and kneeling before me, placed his face between the knees of my denim legs, as if ashamed to show his face, his hands curled around my knees too.

"You didn't have to _crawl_ to me." I said very tenderly, my hand stroking his hair as little tears came to my eyes, "A simple apology would've been fine."

"I'm sorry, Bella." His voice was a little muffled by my legs and he looked up at me with real regret in his face, "I know I'm not what you would call normal in the way I make love. Or normal in the way I respond when you're angry. I know normal men would probably yell back at you and maybe storm out, but I can't do that. But I can try to be more normal, from now on, if that's what you want. I want so much to make you happy. You have been so good to me…please just…punish me now. And then we can start over again. I know it's not in your nature to be cruel, Bella, but I want you to. If you like, I can think something up myself."

"Edward…" I used both my hands to stroke down his cheeks, "What have they done to you?"

So much pain…so many scars…they really had broken this man. Over and over again.

He just looked at me and waited for my punishment – one that would never come.

"I would _never_ hurt you, Edward. Don't you know that already?" I stated clearly and slowly, cuddling my head against his, "And I don't want you to try to be more normal. I want _you_…as you are…you _do_ make me happy…more than you know. I love the way you make love to me…and I would never erase anything we've already done to start over again. And I loved you fucking me in that book store, Edward. Right or wrong, it was the best sex of my life, right up there with being tied to the stool. I am just new to all this and I over reacted. I am the one who should be sorry. I don't know why I got so mad. I should be thanking you. Your mind is so…creative and sensual. Who else in the world would've taken me in the middle of a store? Don't change, okay? Please? I love your ideas. And I want more. Got it ?"

"Yes, Bella." His voice sounded so relieved that it hurt me more.

I kissed him and tried to make it soft and deep and hard at the same time, wishing he could know how much I love him. I wanted to tell him so badly right then.

And I knew why I was so angry. Not at anything he did, or for leaving me there in the store, but for…_leaving me_. It made me think that someday he would really leave me, naked and thirsting for more of him, and that he wouldn't even look back. And I would be so desperately alone, broken, as he is right now.

But it wasn't his fault. This is all he knew. Fantasy, role play, orgasm, release, fear, anger, hatred, punishment, pain. There was no love for him to experience on a daily basis, besides this 3pm phone call he made everyday. I really wanted to know who it was. I wanted to know who Edward loved.

After our kiss, I held him again and he clung onto me, too and we didn't talk for a couple of minutes. Finally, I said, with a hint of kidding in my voice, "Now, stand and go over to the couch and sit down like a good little boy so we can have our therapy. Rule #2 – no crawling unless you're bleeding to death. Got it, Edward?"

He snickered and obeyed, saying, "Yes, Dr. Swan."

Oooh, improvement. Well, besides the him crawling to me bit.

He hopped up on the sofa and sat there, respectful as always as I went back to my notebook, adjusting my hair and trying to forget the raw heated feeling of his cock ramming me from behind as I was shoved into the shelf before me.

I cleared my throat and decided to change my first question.

"Edward…" I was speaking now as a friend and not "Dr.", "Why are you so afraid of anger? It seems like, every time I may act even a little angry, you get very afraid and automatically very…"

"Slave-like?" he finished, his face still looking calm and relaxed.

"Yes." I agreed.

"In my life, anger equals pain and punishment. It's my job to please everyone. And I do that very well. I can handle the pain when I must, I have a high tolerance to it. I can even endure it without screaming, if I'm told to. But most women love to hear me scream and beg. It's the rare individual wants me to bear it in silence."

"But you and Tanya went through a period where you said you were both very angry and frustrated with each other." I reminded.

"So?" he looked hard and flat now.

"And now you try very hard to please everyone and to hide your anger…at all costs." I said, onto something here.

"That's how I've been trained, Bella.", he said, looking down at a loose thread on his shorts, "I'm a machine now. "

"Did…something happen…to Tanya?" I made myself ask, getting his eyes to turn up to me suddenly, very guarded and squinting back at me.

"I mean, what happened, Edward?" I made it an open ended question, making my voice quiet and hushed, "Did she leave? Do you blame her leaving on your anger with her? Or is it worse than that?"

"I don't want to talk about her." He raised his voice a little bit, trying to control the fire in his eyes as I kept asking questions, "Not now, Bella, please?"

"You have to, Edward." I said then I stopped myself in mid sentence, making myself calm down, "Scratch that. You _don't have_ to. But I wish you would tell me about it."

"Not yet.", his eyes looked absolutely lost, looking at mine, "_Please_."

"Alright." I flipped a page in my notebook, "This is something I've been wanting to do with you. This is called word association. What I do is, I say a word, and without thinking, you say the first thing that comes to mind. Alright? It's very easy."

"Nothing is easy." He said, his voice had a bit of an edge to it.

I smirked at him, "I guess you're right about that."

"Ready to play?" I smiled at him and he seemed to smile back, relaxing a little.

"Always with you.",he responded, his eyes smoldering.

"Stop that or I _will _punish you." I teased, "I'll tie you to a chair and make you watch educational TV all night."

"Ukkk!" he chuckled, shuddering.

"Okay, here we go." I went to my list of words, "Head."

"Suck." He said automatically then smiled at me wider, as if surprised by his own reply. A little boy snicker escaped his lips as I widened my eyes at him, "You said the first thing I think of!"

"Okay, okay." I moved on, "Green."

"Cash."

No mystery there. Cash is like his blood in this business.

"Water."

"Now!" he tensed and then looked at me fast, as if afraid of what he'd said.

"Now?" I asked, "What does that mean?"

"I don't know, it's the first thing I thought of." He looked away, leaning back on the couch, hiding something again.

"Sing." I moved on.

"Cook." He grinned and he looked at me, adding, "I like to sing when I cook…sometimes."

"Okay." I grinned back, "Death."

"Easy." He came back with.

"Long." I said, hoping he didn't make another penis reference.

"Life." He said.

"Long life, as in, having a nice, long life?" I asked.

"No." Edward's eyes went a bit cold, looking away, "Life is so fucking long."

I made a note, understanding him now. He isn't enjoying his life and it is a long, painful thing to endure. Death is easy, quiet, safe, with no more pain.

"Window." I said.

"Glass."

"Count." I said.

"Whip." He said right away and when I looked at him, he added, "When I am…whipped…I have to count them off. Count is what they say before they…begin. Something you need to work on, if you ever become a sub, my fair Bella."

"Okay." I gave him a warm smile, remembering my bad counting on the stool, hiding my sorrow for him again.

"Friendly."

"Smile." He said.

"Table."

"Serve." He answered and I think I got that one. Part of his job was to serve drinks…and himself…to those tables. I had seen that myself.

"Village."

"Idiot." He chuckled and I joined him.

"Cold."

"Ice.", his answer came back.

"Ice and snow…or ice cubes?" I asked, having a pretty good idea.

He smirked back at me, impressed that I read this one right.

"Very good, Bella." He purred his approval, "Cubes."

"Yes, I saw that the night I met you." I commented, "Those ladies love rubbing ice on you, don't they?"

"Only because I'm so red hot." He joked, laughing at my face as he said it.

"Okay, note to self, the ego is completely intact." I joked back.

"Dance.", I went on.

"Slow." He said.

"Slow dancing, with a girl?" I asked, unsure.

"No." he looked confused for a second, "We're taught to dance slow…at Fire. Victoria likes that. The clients like that. It's more…sensual."

His answers are definitely giving me some information on how he thinks, that's for sure.

"Sick."

"Me." , he said without hesitation.

"Edward, you are not sick." I looked at him and saw his eyes downcast, "Edward, look at me."

He did and it looked like it caused him physical pain to do so.

"You are _not_ sick." I repeated, "I don't ever want to hear that again. Alright?"

He gave a little nod and played with the loose string of his shorts as I went onto the next word.

"Evil."

"Bitch.", that slipped out of his mouth, too, and he stiffened at his own word.

I had to giggle for a second, understanding that completely.

"Yes, I know you've known a lot of evil bitches." I informed, "I get that."

"Needle."

"Hurts.", he said.

I tensed and looked at him, he was looking at me as well and I carefully asked, "You're not talking about a doctor's needle, are you?"

He shook his head.

"Does that happen a lot?" I asked, squinting, "Women sticking you with needles?"

"Yes.", he admitted, "It doesn't leave that big a mark but it's pain play. A lot of women love that."

Who the fuck are these sick bitches? Jesus, listen to me, every time I hear of anyone hurting Edward I become a ten foot tall, snarling Mama Bear, raging.

"Okay." I took a breath, "Blue."

"Balls.", he said, snickering again. I smiled up at him like the school teacher, tolerant but warning with my gaze.

"Edward…" I sniffed, going to the next word, "Trip."

"Gone.", he said and then a second later, said, "My parents were always going on a trip. They never took _me_ with them."

I made a note and Edward smiled, as if a thought dawning on him and he said, "But if I think of trip in another way, I guess I could say _Bella_ as my answer. Remember when you tripped with your pants around your ankles when I was your rapist?"

"Hey, this isn't _laugh at Bella_ association."

"Sorry.", he made his face go serious, trying to behave for me, "I'll be good."

"Lamp." I said.

"Wish.", he replied.

"Like Aladdin's lamp?" I smiled, Mr. Cartoon _would_ think of a Disney fable here, I guess.

"Yea.", he admitted, "I love that movie. I would love to have three wishes, wouldn't you?"

"Yea." I smiled, looking at his face so happy looking now, "What would _you_ wish for, Edward?"

"Hmmm…", he thought about it, looking up a bit, his mouth in that adorable little bow like when he slept, "Well, I don't know….isn't that between me and my Genie?"

"One wish, then." I bargained, "Tell me just _one_."

He hesitated then his eyes looked at me and glazed a bit.

"I wish I didn't have to be a whore.", he said firmly, his voice dripping with sadness and hurt…and shame.

I felt my stomach flip over from the ache that I felt inside me at this…my voice was horribly void and I wanted to say something comforting and helpful…but I couldn't. I realized, that would be one of my wishes, too. Along with, I wish to erase all Edward's past and pain, and I wish Edward a lifetime of happiness, even if it's not with me.

I wish I had a magic lamp.

But I don't…so therapy has to continue…as much as it hurts and sucks for Edward, this is the only real way to get there, to a happy life.

"You know that, don't you, Bella?" his voice finally spoke again, "I really do wish my life wasn't this way. I don't enjoy being…_this_. You know that, right?"

"Yea, I do." I answered, "I knew almost from the beginning that…you don't do these jobs for the thrill or the adventure of it, like some do. You really…seem to have no choice. You seem to do it for the money. Is that because you had no money when you were with Tanya and now you feel like…if you don't have enough money, you can't have love or happiness? Or is there something else I don't know about?"

My voice was calm and gentle as I spoke to him.

"Bella…Tanya is not in my life anymore, can't we please stop talking about her?" he asked a bit stiffly.

"Is Tanya sick or hurt?" I asked, another theory of mine, "Because that would explain why you do this, if you're taking care of her on your own. Is that it? "

"Bella, stop.", he warned, clenching his jaw, his eyes closing for a moment.

I wanted to keep pushing but that was not the way to have him open up to me. I cannot force him. But I also only have ten days left with him and I feared I would never hear the whole story in time. Then he would forever be a mystery I could never solve.

I gave a little growl and went to my list of words. I kept hitting into brick walls and my head was starting to throb. I feel boxed in, with no way out and no light to shine the way, trapped as surely as he was.

"Okay, let's do some more words…" I said, "Sin."

"Work.", he said, his eyes now softer and trusting again.

I noticed things were fine with him as long as I didn't touch his painful inner scars.

"Rich." I said.

"Mean.", he countered.

"Rich people are mean?" I asked.

"Every one _I've_ ever met.", he said without blinking, a little half smile on his mouth.

"But…aren't you rich?" I asked.

"No, I'm _not_.", he looked sternly at me, insulted that I called him such a thing.

"But you make lots of money." I said, "Don't you?"

"Some goes to Victoria, the rest goes somewhere else." He informed, crossing his arms.

He's avoiding me again. I sighed, getting used to this. I can't help him if I don't know what all his secrets are. God, I am so impatient. I really need to work on that.

"Sympathy." I said the next word.

"Bella.", he said with a grin, seeing my eyes look up at him, "Bella feels a lot of sympathy for Edward. Doesn't she?"

I put my notebook down and looked at him, setting my jaw.

"Yes." I confessed, "I do feel very sorry for all you go through, the things you tell me…how you've been hurt all this time…and what it's doing to you. But it's not going to help you, Edward, my sympathy. It's useless. You talking to me, letting me see what's hurting inside, and us discussing it is what's going to make you feel better and begin to heal. I can be patient and I'm trying to be, but I can't keep on asking you questions that you keep refusing to answer. Can't you please tell me _something_? Anything? Be brave. Take a chance and trust me. I swear to God I will not betray you, Edward. I care about you…so much."

"I thought word association was supposed to be easy.", he replied, complaining as his eyes stared at the coffee table ledge.

I wanted to cry…I nearly did.

I went to my list of words and like a robot, said the next one on the list, "Pray."

"Waste.", he sneered coldly, clearly not liking that one.

"Praying is a waste? …of time ?" I asked.

"The biggest.", he seethed to himself, his eyes down as his arms crossed defensively.

"Why?" I asked, "What have you prayed for?"

"Does it matter?" he looked at me, frowning, "There is no God, there is no Santa Claus, and prayers don't get answered. Everything in my life is so because I _made_ it so."

"What do you—"

"Next word.", he snapped curtly, pinching the bridge of his nose with his finger and thumb.

Obviously, I am striking some nerves with these words. Hmm…this is working.

"Money." I said.

"Life.", he said back.

"Expensive." I went on without comment.

"_Everything_..", he sounded a little bitter then.

"Unjust." I read.

"Life.", he said.

"Child." I chose next. And he looked like I slapped him in the face.

"Pass.", he spat out, frowning more.

"Pass?"

"_Pass_.", he fumed a little more.

I made a note of that. Possible child, maybe Tanya was pregnant at some point.

"Divorce." I said, looking right up into his eyes.

He hesitated. Things were raging behind his eyes and it scared me a little.

"Edward," I said gently, "You're supposed to answer right away, first thing that comes to mind."

No answer.

"Edward, are you and Tanya divorced?" I went out on a limb here.

His eyes looked at me then, and were so cruel looking I froze for a second.

"No." he stated with venom in his voice.

"Then you're still married." I assumed aloud.

Great, add adultery to my list of crimes I'll be serving my sentence in Hell for.

"No." he gritted his teeth, closing his eyes.

"Edward…" I asked very carefully, keeping my voice understanding and loving, "Did she pass away?"

"Bella.", his body jerked to attention and his voice pleaded, its tone tortured and pained, as if he'd cry at any moment again, "Please…can't we stop this? _Please_?"

"No, Edward." I stood my ground, "I want you to answer me…_please_."

"Why are you doing this to me? You can't fix me, Bella.", his voice was strained and his eyes were wet with tears now, "It's too late for me, _can't you see that_? Just…report things about my life _now_. I'll tell you every story I have about my job but please, _please_ don't talk about her anymore. I _beg you_, Bella. Listen, I can tell you about Raven. There are some scary stories there."

"Why does it frighten you so much to talk about her…_Tanya_?" I asked.

"Bella…" Edward stood up and hit the stop button on the recorder, "Can't we talk about this tomorrow…please?"

And in seconds, he was kneeling down before me again, my legs parted as he leaned in closer, kissing my lips hard and his hands were taking my pen and notebook away, giving them a toss behind me.

"Please, Bella…" he kissed me again, his tongue curling in around mine, the taste of strawberry evident there, "I don't want to argue with you…please…can't we just…"

And he kissed me even harder and more passionately, cupping my face in his hands.

"Edward…" I mumbled against his mouth, "No…don't…"

"Didn't we have enough therapy today?" Edward asked sexily, and began to pull up my t-shirt, leaning my chair back a bit as he pulled the right cup of my bra down off my breast, licking wetly against my lonely little nipple.

I let out a high pitched moan and instantly I was wet between my legs.

"No, Edward…no…come on…" I began to breathe out my arguments, wanting to go back to what we were talking about but he was ignoring me, pulling the left cup of my bra off my breast, taking a thick bite.

"Edward…" I moaned as his tongue lapped at the hem of my jeans below my belly button. At this, I let out a strangled cry of lust.

"Enjoy my body, Bella, please…" he almost begged as he undid my jeans, unzipping them, "Leave my mind alone."

I was about to reply but then he drowned my words with his mouth, and in moments he was picking me up into his arms, and I felt myself laying on something hard.

Opening my eyes, I saw I was sprawled out over the kitchen counter, this time, my head hanging off and facing my yellow stove. My t-shirt was up around my throat and I felt my jeans down around my ankles again, the panties, too.

I couldn't even see him anymore but I felt him right away, his tongue moving expertly left and right over my clit, God, the heat and wetness of his DAMN tongue drove all thoughts of therapy out of my head.

"Edward…" I mumbled incoherently, "OHHhhh GOD!!"

"That's my Bella.", he spoke and his lips moved against my pussy lips and I almost screamed out loud again at that sensation, "Just let me please you…"

I soon came four times in a row before he even unzipped his pants, securing his condom, and taking me right there on the counter.

EPOV

Bella slept next to me in bed that night, and I held her, kissing her ear again as she began to drift off to sleep. I had tired her out with today's games and poor little Dr. Bella just couldn't think clearly enough to ask me one more question.

I felt like a piece of shit, doing that to her. But I didn't want her to know my past, my sad little stories. She would only pity me more and I didn't want any pity from anyone, especially her.

Bella paid a lot of money so that I could give her two weeks of pleasure. And the more she asks about my life, the more sorrow I see in her deep, dark eyes and the more I feel like some insect in a vial.

I wanted to enjoy my short time with the fair Bella, knowing once it's over we will never cross paths again. Is it too much to ask that I just have this time with her, uncomplicated with the horrors of my world, so I can remember it always?

Someone like Bella will never happen to me again in my lifetime. I don't want her to look back on us and feel sad for me. I want her to remember my smile, the laugh that I hadn't laughed in years, and the perfect way our bodies connect.

I want to keep feeling young…and free…and alive. I can actually feel that when I'm with her. Please, God, just for ten more days…but here I am praying again – to no one.

I wish that Bella could love me, that would be one wish I'd ask of the Genie. My first wish would be to erase all the pain and loss my baby had gone through. My money had restored her face and some of her internal organs but she was far from healed. Skin grafts, cosmetic surgery, constant surgeries as she grows older…medication for her pain…will cost dearly…for years and years to come.

I can never leave Fire. I can never have Bella for my own. I can never stop whoring. Wishes don't come true by rubbing on fucking lamps.

Hey guys!!

I want to know, is it too soon for me to reveal Edward's past?

I was going to do it in this chapter, but want your input!

Give me your opinion and thanks for reviewing!

Love you!

WinndSinger


	12. Dr Cullen

Notes:

Okay, thanks again for all your great input. Sometimes I struggle with which way I should go next, so many evil possibilities.

Some of Edward's past will be now between us, the readers, and Edward, but Bella will still be left, tragically, out of the loop for now. HE HE HE!!! (Sorry, Bells.)

Also, some people have asked about Edward's comments about God and my own take on God. I believe in God, am not super nutty religious, but I do talk to him a lot in my head during the day. As you can see in my stories, there are lots of God mentions. But, Edward is very anti God at this stage in his life. For a time, Edward really thanked God and believed in him for all the good things his life had, and then they were taken away. So, Edward is angry at God right now and to punish him, he talks a lot against God, and even likes the idea of taking Bella in that bookstore that used to be a church. So, there you go.

Besides, how can there be someone as hot as Rob Pattinson and there's NOT a God who designed that?! God, as I've said before, must be a woman.

Hope you enjoy this next chapter, and don't forget, this is some Edward in the past, and his personality might explain why he's the way he is in the present right now, as far as anger issues go.

Thanks again for all your reviews and also thanks to everyone reading from ! You guys all rock! Thanks for sticking with my story. Good stuff coming up and I will give you a warning later when it's time for Raven's day with Edward.

I figured out a great twist for that, too! Bye for now!

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EPOV

I smiled, snuggled up in pink Tinkerbell sheets next to my little angel. We laid side by side in bed, watching the last episode of SpongeBob and I couldn't help but laugh at Squidward. My baby always said that was me, because my name was Edward. He was crabby and always trying to ruin SpongeBob's fun but he was very hysterical to me, always pissed off.

I didn't hear the little tingle of Katie's giggle and my head turned towards hers. The perfect round eyes were closed, adorned with her lovely long eyelashes and her mouth was puckered up in a little pout. In her sleep, her bottom lip sucked the top one a bit and I nearly laughed out loud at the beauty I was fortunate enough to behold so close to me.

I dared to lean in one inch and touch my unworthy lips to her rosy cheek; my nose tickled by the long red locks of her soft, smooth hair as it fell and laid upon her little shoulders. This is the love of my life…and I knew it without question. I just laid there at her side, eyes closed, thanking God for letting something so pure and beautiful rest beside something as flawed as myself.

As SpongeBob ended, I carefully moved myself out of her bed and sat up on its edge, switching off the TV, putting down the remote, and covering her up to her chin with her blankets and comforter that was also adorned by the sassy Tinkerbell.

I inhaled and smiled at the sweet scent of strawberry bubble bath, remembering our bathtub fight earlier. She had won. After the bath, I was easily more wet than she was. She is a master splasher.

I peeked inside the blankets and saw she already had a good hold of her giraffe doll, Pirate, her favorite since she was born. His name was pirate because she lost one of his eyes once so I put a black eye patch there and Katie loved it. And thus, his name was born.

He had more stains and sewing marks than a world war veteran but she loved him best. I had learned to sew on this doll, performing miracles every time she brought him to me in tears.

It made me feel like Pirate, being torn and ragged, but having her complete, thick love anyway.

"Daddy?" her tired little voice whimpered.

"Yea, baby?" I whispered, kneeling down beside her bed.

"Can I have an ice cream sandwich?" she almost said in her sleep, her eyes half closed as I laughed softly above her.

"No, Katie, not right now." I smiled down at her, "It's time for bed."

"Nnnooo.", she whined a little, her eyes getting heavier.

"Oh, yes." I tilted my head, adoring her as usual, "Maybe if you're good I'll sneak it to you during breakfast tomorrow. Okay?"

I can't deny her anything. I'm spoiling her rotten.

"Okay.", she smiled, happy, and my whole world was right again.

"Goodnight, Duckie Lips." I said, using my nickname for her. When she sleeps, her lips stick out like a duck's bill. So cute…so perfect.

"Goodnight, Daddy…wuv you", she said so faintly as sleep finally curled her arms around my baby.

"I love _you_." I responded, kissing her perfect mouth with a small peck, tasting grape juice, smiling to myself and licking my mouth, trying to dilute the flavor a bit.

Note to self: Make sure Katie brushes her teeth real good tomorrow.

The nightlight was on already and I used its light to find my way out of her small room into the living room.

It flickered for a second and I stepped backwards, looking at it. It did it again and I almost considered pulling it from the outlet. If Katie woke up in the middle of the night and in the dark, she'd scream and cry.

I shoved it back in, all the way in, and it remained steady and unblinking now. Good. I went back out to the living room to prepare things for tomorrow.

After an hour or two had gone by, I was done with the dishes and all the laundry was put away. Katie's outfit for nursery school tomorrow was all picked out and waiting on its hanger on her doorknob and after finding nothing on TV to watch, I decided to make her lunch.

It was finally at 11:32 pm that my wife's footsteps were coming up the stairs.

I tensed and exhaled a breath, preparing for another battle. I tried to stay out of her way and she tried to stay out of mine most of the time, but I was already pissed off. She's never here. She said she'd be home for dinner tonight. My own feelings aside, maybe Katie might like to have a mother around. I never did…and now she never does either. I hated that.

But Tanya's dreams and art must come first. Pullleeasse.

The key turned in the lock and she walked in, looking exhausted, her red hair swept up into a pretty bun, and she took her winter coat off, exposing her nice black dress. I glanced at her up and down, seeing the nice black pumps completing her outfit.

I hate the way she looks all the time, fancy little dresses too short, the black stockings, the high heels…she should be in t-shirts and jeans, casual and light, someone Katie could get down on the floor and play blocks with. My mother was always dressed up all the time, too pretty to hug and mess up. Too perfect to be touched.

No, Edward, don't kiss Mommy, you'll mess up her lipstick. Go play over there.

"Hi." She looked at me and tossed her coat on the sofa, going to the refrigerator, not even coming near me for a hug or a kiss, but this was normal now.

Something inside me sighed that she just threw her coat on the couch. I just cleaned in there. Doesn't she know how to use a hanger? What a housewife I'm turning into.

"Hi." I gave no happy tone to my voice as I spread peanut butter onto the bread below me.

She took a tall glass and poured milk into it for herself, leaving very little in the one gallon there.

"Hey, Tanya," I frowned, "Can you save some milk for Katie's breakfast tomorrow, please? I have to get more tomorrow."

"God, I can't even have a glass of milk when I get home from work now!" she slammed the fridge door closed hard.

Anything I say anymore just fills her with rage in two seconds.

Maybe it's the lack of sex. I know that's one of my big problems lately. The other day, I was watching the Little Mermaid with Katie and I got hard watching Ariel's body. I need to get laid…bad. My own hand is even getting bored with me these days. I can almost hear it whining, "AGAIN?" every time I lay in my bed alone.

"You can." I kept my eyes on the jelly I was now spreading, "Just a _smal_l glass, this one time, and getting home from work? Is that what you're calling it? It's after 11. Maybe your daughter would like to say goodnight to you once in awhile, if it's not too much trouble for you."

"HEY, I work!" she spun around to me, slamming her glass on the counter, "I work my ass OFF everyday! And you're here! So if we are low on milk, BUY some! Or should I shop, too, on my way home?"

"I work too!" I spun towards her, my eyes burning, "I am raising _our_ daughter alone while you snap pictures all day! Then, at night, you go to these fucking parties doing God knows what. Here's an idea! Take a picture of US to keep on you so that one day you don't walk in here and fail to recognize us!"

"You prick!" she shouted back, tears in her eyes, "I am making contacts! I am showing my work so maybe I can get published! Then maybe we could AFFORD two gallons of milk at once!"

"Maybe you should forget getting published and get a real job in an office somewhere!" I shot back, putting the sandwich together.

_I_ wanted to get a job, a real job. I loved taking care of Katie and spending all my time with her but I felt like less than a man, having my wife working all the time, and me being home ironing and cooking. But we had made that deal a long time ago.

And three years later, it still wasn't working.

"Fuck YOU!" she screamed, letting the tears fall. Typical. Cry. A woman's dirtiest trick during an argument.

"I went to college for this, I _am going_ to be a photographer, Edward!" she yelled at my back, "At least I _have_ a degree, what do _you_ have?"

"A child who knows what I look like!" I threw down the butter knife and towered over her, completely enraged now.

That was a low blow on her part. She knows why I couldn't finish college. And it's because of her! I stuck my knife just as deeply into her heart by using Katie…and I hated myself for that. But I wanted Katie to have _both_ of us. I don't want her lonely and feeling uncared for. I was loving her for both of us and it wasn't enough. Katie wants her Mommy and damn it, I want her to have that, too. Not to mention, I want my wife.

"I hate you!" she cried, sobbing and going into the living room.

This wasn't the first time Tanya shouted this phrase at me. Later, she'd always say she didn't mean it. But it was getting harder and harder to believe her.

"Good, " I seethed, watching her sit on the sofa, "It's nice to know you can feel _something!"_

I was so tense and filled with spite that I kept listening to her cry as I packed up Katie's lunch, with a chocolate cupcake and a juice box to complete it. I wrote Katie's name on the brown lunch bag and put little hearts and stars on each side of it. I was happy to be able to show my love to _someone_.

Tanya is never here – just like my god damned parents.

I wish we weren't like this. But I have no idea how to fix it. I wish I could hold her and kiss her and make love to her like we used to. But she has become Esme to me. Too busy, too void when she's here, invisible when she's not. I wish I could be more supportive and caring…and not so angry all the time. I wish we were a family.

After a good ten minutes, Tanya stomped back into the kitchen, tears and makeup under her eyes. She was holding an envelope that had the words _Kaitlyn Cullen – Trip_ on it.

"What is this?" she asked me.

"Maybe you forgot, because you don't work in a _real_ office," I kept being a giant prick to her, not sure why, speaking slowly, "But that's called an _envelope_. It holds things."

"What's in it?" she scowled at me, "Money?"

I sighed, putting the bread away, "Katie's school is going on a trip tomorrow to a museum. All the kids are going."

"How much?" she asked, smirking at me.

"Twenty seven dollars." I said, readying myself for her outburst.

"And you just wrote the check without a care in the world.", she pretended to smile, "The rent is late, the gas bill needs to be paid. We don't have any extra money for this stuff, Edward."

"I'm not telling her she can't go." I dried my hands, "She gets so little and she never asks for much. So, yea, I wrote the check. It's my account, too."

"But it's _my_ money.", she informed coldly.

Now I was pissed.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought it was _our_ money.", I sneered, "But I guess you're right. Why let your daughter have a little joy out of _your_ money? Why don't you go buy another dress from Hookers R Us for the next party you're going to. You must get PUBLISHED, if that's what they're calling that now."

"Are you accusing me of cheating on you?!" she squinted, appalled.

"Well, look over yourself in the full length mirror." I let my own eyes rake over her accusingly, "You don't really believe you're invited to these things for your award winning shots of birds and trees, do you?"

She cried again and turned her back to me, her hands shaking and covering her eyes.

I had to get out of there now, before I said any more…I was hurting her and I knew it. I need to go cool off for awhile. I was furiously shoving my hands into my jacket, ready to move towards the door. I did this a lot during a particularly bad argument and would come back later, after she had fallen asleep.

"I can't take this anymore, Edward." She was sobbing, "I love you but I hate you! You're so evil to me all the time! What did I ever do to you that you hate me so much?!"

"I don't hate you." I said in a low voice, feeling lower than dirt now, my hand on the doorknob.

She sobbed again and I felt myself moving up behind her, trying to put my arms around her.

But she moved away from me, crying a little less loudly now.

"I want a divorce.", she breathed, sobbing a little more now after she said this.

And my whole world imploded right then.

"Tanya…" I felt like I could hardly breathe, "No…you can't…what about Katie?"

"I'll take her." She said, still not looking at me.

"Where?" I was more scared now. As much as it hurt to consider life without Tanya, there was no way I could be denied Katie. She is my whole world. She's my _air._

"I'll find a place of my own.", she shrugged.

She had not thought any of this through at all.

"You can't afford that, and you're gone all the time." I pointed out, "You're not having some teenage babysitter watch Katie all day, either. I'm all she has, Tanya. You're _not_ doing that to us."

"Fine, forget it.", she said with an icy voice, not looking at me, "No divorce. I'll stay, alright? Happy now?"

She had never said divorce before. And even though she said forget it, I was still hurt and upset. She doesn't love me anymore. She hates me. If she could afford it, she'd already be gone, with my daughter.

And, even though I knew it sounded wrong of me, I was so angry that after my years of waiting for her to finish college, my homeless nights asleep freezing in cemeteries, the days when I couldn't find anything to eat while my insides growled in anguish, the times I ate half eaten things out of garbage cans, that she found life with me here so unbearable, so hard. I had endured Hell for her, but now, because we were having a little trouble, she was so ready to bail out on me.

"Thanks very much." I frowned, sarcasm oozing out of my voice, "You make it sound like I'm some ogre that has you locked in a cage! I'm going out."

I was back at the door again, yanking it open, ready to exit this battle.

Tanya put the envelope on the little round dining room table in the corner and she said, almost whispering, "When your parents told you to choose between them and me, and you chose me, I was so happy at first. And then they made you pay everyday for going with me, and you took it all…and I was so sad for you. But I told myself I would make you glad you picked me. I would work and make my dreams come true and then I would help you get back to school…and maybe you could become a doctor someday, like you always wanted. When we got married, I was determined to make that happen for us. I wanted to make it right. And I kept telling myself, we stayed together, we beat Carlisle and Esme, we showed them. But now…I look at us and see that they beat us. They knew what they were doing when they cut you off. They destroyed us in that minute. We just didn't know it yet. And we are together and have a beautiful little girl…but we're not happy. We're not in love. They won. They _killed_ us."

"This is not about my parents." I gritted my teeth, hating what she was saying but knowing it was true, every word of it, "And I asked you not to talk about them, Tanya."

"You know it's true. They tore us apart.", she looked at me and the loneliness and sorrow reflected off my own eyes that wore the same glaze themselves.

"Maybe they were right." I said, rejected and hurting, "You don't belong with me."

She deserves better than me is what I was thinking, but as I slammed the door and was rushing down the stairs, I could hear Tanya crying and realized what my words sounded like to her.

That she wasn't good enough for me. Shit! I almost went back up. I stopped on the 6th floor steps and almost went up the 3 flights to apologize and hold her and kiss her tears away. Maybe I could get a night job and help more. We could try marriage counseling, like she wanted. But I didn't. I kept going down stairs until I was out and getting into our silver Volvo, I peeled away, needing to drive fast and clear my head. Needing to cry alone at the terror her threat of divorce had inspired in me, and to imagine me telling our 3 year old daughter that she was moving away from me was just too much to bear.

I told myself I would explain what I meant by last words and to talk to Tanya tomorrow when she woke up. That I shouldn't have said those cruel things to her, and that I was so sorry. That I don't want a divorce and I loved her. I would say it all, to make her give me another chance.

But sometimes you don't get a tomorrow. Sometimes, when you speak words to someone…those fast become your last words to them. I had a moment where I could've turned back to make things right with Tanya, and I had carelessly thrown it away, foolishly thinking I had a lifetime to talk to her. I was wrong. And I would regret my actions of leaving…and my last words to her…for the rest of my life…every single day of my life.

My time was up.

That was the last time I saw Tanya.

"Edward…" a voice whispered and I jumped. Bella…I was holding her but I could not fall asleep. I kept playing my last night with Tanya in my head, over and over again.

I am sick. I want to burn myself. I haven't wanted to do that for years. No, not here. If Bella saw that or heard it…she'd throw me right out of here, knowing what a fucking head case I am. She could have me committed. She _should_. But then I can't earn. So that was out.

I haven't felt any pain for five days now. That's what's wrong with me. Bella is far too kind to me and my body isn't used to that. It wants punishment again. It's almost…craving it. Two weeks is so not long enough for Bella to see how mental I truly am.

She, by nature, is a healer, someone who wants to fix and correct all that is wrong and bad. That is her sensitive, loving heart and I know that's why she chose me. I am her new broken toy. I am damaged. If I weren't, I wouldn't be here, sitting on her shelf, waiting for her to cure me.

Victoria had seen me burn myself once after I had dreamt of Tanya. Any time I thought of that night, of the pain I had caused her and my Katie, the pain was too unreal to handle. I began to find that burning myself, as they were burned, brought me punishment and pain and justice. It made me feel…slightly better…enough so that I could almost breathe again. It would not heal me…nothing would.

I would have just preferred to die, but I didn't have that luxurious option. Katie needs me…or my money, anyway, and I couldn't let her down.

So I went one night, leaving Victoria's bed, in the dead of night, and went to her kitchen while she slept.

Turning the dial on her stove, the blue gas flames erupted with a tiny whoosh and I turned it to a medium flame.

I decided to burn my palm, because, who'd care about my palm or even notice it at Fire? I couldn't scar my body if I could help it, Victoria would skin me alive.

So, in complete silence, I let my palm hover over the tiny flame tongues. They bit fast and I clenched my eyes tight, bracing my jaw…taking it as my body quivered hard, but I didn't scream…or move away…or cry.

After what seemed like forever, I couldn't bear anymore and yanked my hand away, turning off the gas with the other. Turning, I went to the sink and turned the cold water on full blast over the angry, ugly burn in my flesh and felt a new kind of pain. My body jerked and my head bucked back for a second as I endured it, only a tiny growl managing to escape from behind my clenched teeth.

Victoria was behind me a second later, holding me, kissing my shoulder blades and informing me that she admired my strength and that it had aroused her, seeing me do this to myself. And also, that she had a whole new client list to introduce me to now. She told me I would make a wonderful pain slave. And the next day she would begin preparing me for those very high paying customers.

The next morning, at dawn, I was shown to Victoria's dungeon, buried deep below Fire. And I began to learn about pain. I never resisted or struggled against any of it. It almost comforted me, suffering for my crimes…screaming and being punished for abandoning the people I loved. I accepted every single thing she could do to me.

"Edward…" Bella's voice called again and I tilted my head, gazing down at her, my eyes slave to her beauty while she slept so deeply. My fingers moved over her eyebrows, over the details of her cute little nose, and traced adoringly around her lips.

"Yes, Bella?" I whispered. The last time she'd spoken in her sleep we had a sexy little conversation…and I liked it. There were no hard questions here…no dirty, evil confessions to make…no looking into her eyes when she learned how disgusting I really was. In sleep, I could speak to her heart…her soul. Her mind, brilliant as it was, was now resting…so it did not intrude here.

She struggled slightly in the blanket, as if something was bothering her. My brow creased, wondering what was wrong.

"Give me your hand…Edward…please…reach out…" she was softly whimpering, "I just want to help you…no…no…."

"Shhhh, my sweet little heart…" I whispered into her ear, kissing it and wrapping my arms fully around her, "I'm here…I'm fine…you _have_ me."

She wants to save me so badly. I wish I was saveable.

She calmed a bit and sighed in a relaxed little moment. Her lips gave a hint of a smile as I closed my eyes and leaned my cheek against her bare shoulder, addicted to the tender soft skin there.

"You have me, Bella." I whispered, "Always. I love you."

Hearing my own words made me ache inside. I couldn't deny to myself that it was true but I also knew I could never tell her this and that she could never love me in return. And even if she did, we could never be.

Love is an evil bitch. Worse than Victoria, Raven, and all the rest of them put together. I hate love. It whips me everyday and its chains are hot and sharp. And its pain…I never get used to…I can't endure.

And now it's after Bella…it wants to hurt and slash her pure, unscarred body and heart now, using me.

Even now, while I'm holding Bella, my mind wanders to tomorrow. I have a part in that adult film in the afternoon and then Fire afterwards. I wonder if Bella still wants to go there tonight to "observe" me.

No, I can't ask her to do that. But she did say she wanted to see what jobs I do. This job, at least, she'd be allowed to come to, and sit behind the cameras, as my guest. I decided to tell her about it and let her choose. I guess it would make an interesting chapter in her report. How often does a girl like Bella get to see behind the scenes of a porno?

Let her come. She will see me for what I am and get out of this ugliness. And she won't fall for me any deeper. She will save herself and get out.

My face cringed, hating the thought of asking her to go. I would have to act clueless from now on, not show her that I could see the sadness shining in her eyes. I was only that guy a couple days ago that asked her right at the table of the Chinese restaurant if she ever sucked cock before. It was so easy then, and I felt no shame at all in what I was. Now, mere days later, I feel so…repulsive.

Carefully, I got out of bed and kissed Bella's hair, smoothing it and waiting to make sure she wasn't waking up. Good, she was still very deep asleep.

I walked naked to the living room and sat on the sofa, staring at the little recorder; the red record button holding all my attention. It was so dark here, and only the light of the moon shed its light inside. And Bella wasn't watching me.

I hit the record button and closed my eyes, making my voice talk.

"Edward – session five." I began professionally, as she liked to, "Bella…this is me. Hopefully, you won't hear this until after I've gone…so…I can say anything I want to say…"

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

EPOV

Today is Friday, Day 5.

I was singing in the kitchen the next morning at 7:30 am, making our breakfast when Bella began to stir in bed.

Laying everything out on our tablecloth on the floor, I peeked in the bedroom. Stretching and smiling, her eyes still closed, she was so natural and lovely I could've laid next to her forever. I was wearing my jeans and no shirt and hoped this was still the rule for me during the day.

"Sleep well?" I knelt by the bed and softly rubbed my nose against her tiny elf-like one.

"Mmmmm…" she sounded so content as her eyes opened droopily and looked into mine with so much warmth I almost began to sweat, "Too good. I wonder why…Mr. Evasion."

I laughed for a second then made my eyes and voice turn very serious.

"Bella." I said, stroking her hair as she kept gazing at me, "I want to say that I am so sorry that I did what I did last night. I'm cheating on our deal and I know you're becoming frustrated and sad…because of me."

"No, I—" she began, but I wouldn't let her deny it.

"Please, Bella…" I said, looking at her hand and taking it in mine, "Please let me say this. I've been thinking about it all night."

"Alright.", she tensed, waiting.

"This is a really tense arrangement we've set up for ourselves. Therapy by day, sexual adventure by night. It's my fault." I went on, hoping my voice came through as gentle and sincere, "I am not a good patient, I know that. And I never thought I'd say these words but – I'm not easy."

We both laughed at that for a couple seconds.

"But I thank you…for wanting to help me, Bella. I've always wanted someone to care and when she finally shows up, I get scared and angry and I pull away like a little kid, and I'm sorry, Bella. I don't know what's wrong with me. But I don't want to hurt you anymore. I should go."

Her eyes flickered in understanding and they wounded me with their fear and hurt.

"NO!" she shouted, grabbing my arm, "No, Edward! Our time's not up…you promised!"

"Of course, I'll return your money to you, all of it." I felt queasy inside, doing this.

Victoria would skin me alive but it would be better than robbing Bella of her inheritance. These last four days have been so magical to me, how could I charge her for them? I think I owe her money at this point, for putting up with me.

"Edward, no, wait.", she sat up, as she held me by the arms, "I don't want you to go…please. Stay with me. I know, it's my fault, I push too hard, I want too much. And you're not ready to open up to me yet. I should be more patient. I'm sorry, Edward."

"Don't apologize, Bella." I leaned my head to hers, then kissed it, "I love how you keep trying, how you never give up. I know it's because you care that you push. I'm just not used to these feelings. I don't know how to react. I don't know how…to…be cared for. And I can see that I'm hurting you. And…I don't want to do that…ever."

Bella frowned and decided to claw in and fight back and it floored me.

She got up to her knees in the bed, letting the covers fall and she faced me down, naked, her voice strict now.

"No, you are not leaving.", she stated , like a fact, "You belong to me and I rule, remember? You are staying here if I have to chain your ass to the bed, you got that, _Cullen_? If this is how you feel more comfortable, if this is how you'd like me to talk to you, then tough shit! I won't treat you that way but our deal still stands. You will suffer a new kind of torture now, learning how to be cared for! That is my fetish and you _will_ feed it until it's sated! You are mine and you will not leave until our time is up. Good or bad, we talk it out and stick together."

Wow. She is going to be either a great psychiatrist someday…or a dominatrix.

I didn't want to go. It made me sick to even think of leaving her. But I wanted her to have the option. I liked the way she spoke to me just now, it's like, she was speaking my language there for a minute. I would have to stay now. She had said the words to hold me here. She is super intelligent. And I was glad. So I smiled and saw her smile coming back to me in return.

"Yes, Bella." I replied, "If that is your pleasure."

"It is.", she smirked. She let out a breath of huge relief at this, and I was happy when she pulled me to her for a very tight embrace. Her fingers curled into my hair as I closed my eyes and resigned myself to the fact that if I could learn to be burned and whipped and stuck with needles, then maybe I could learn this new game of Bella's. As a toy, it was my duty to play the games she liked best. I would try.

Later, we sat on the floor together, eating Lucky Charms cereal and watching cartoons. The mood was so fun and light, and I'm not sure how it got that way. Last night I was so confused, so full of conflict and shame…and now I didn't seem to have a care in the world…for the moment anyway.

"I know I was bad last night." I was saying to her with a boyish grin on my lips, "I should've answered your questions. I'm sorry."

"You are pretty wicked.", she smiled back at me, chewing her cereal, "It's also my fault, so I can't be too mad at you. I am so weak for you. It's sickening. I am supposed to be detached and professional, but you are just too fucking beautiful and are so much more, behind that face and body… I don't have the strength…to stay away from you."

I took the pink heart out of my bowl of cereal, a marshmallow, and put it into her mouth to chew up and devour. She could have my heart. She did have it.

"Then…don't." I leaned over and kissed her sugary lips.

After a silent minute, I asked her, not wanting to prolong the inevitable mention of real life waiting outside the door, "So…what is your schedule for today, Dr.?"

"Mmmm.", she smiled, "Observing my patient…every lovely inch of him, in all his eternal glory."

I raised a brow, without words and she clarified, "We have today, Monday and Tuesday off to observe days in the lives of our patients."

"Oh, I see." I let a big smile curl up at the corner of my lips, "Well, then, today…is going to be very weird and strange for you, Dr. Bella."

"Why?" she looked nervous but still smiled anyway.

"Because today…" I kept my voice fun and uncomplicated, "We get to shoot a little…porn."

"Porn?!" her voice was loud and harsh suddenly.

"Yea." I squinted a little at her reaction, "I was offered a part in this movie…friends of Victoria's…if you forbid me to do it, I'll cancel. Maybe Emmett can take it. Although…I will be punished by Victoria if I don't do it."

Normally, I wouldn't tell her that last little bit, but she wants honesty.

"Punished how?" she tried to look calm but it seemed like she really wanted to know.

"Not sure." I answered honestly, "She likes lots of different…play."

Bella swallowed and I saw her eyes processing thoughts quickly. Why am I doing this to her? A big part of me wants her to say no, don't go. Another part of me wants her to come with me and hang out and kiss me in between takes. And then another part of me wants her to want to vomit and run out of there, leaving me behind her forever. God, how many personalities do I have in here?

"I'll go with you, Edward.", she said firmly, then made herself smile, "It'll be good…for my paper."

"I thought that, too. Bring your notebook.", I said, finishing my cereal and drinking the sweet milk out of the bowl, sipping it out like a cup, "But if at any time, it gets to be too much, you don't have to stay."

"What are they going to…do to you?" she asked carefully, her brave face on.

"It's a pain video." I informed, trying to sound casual about it, "It won't be that terrible. It could be worse. It's basically, a female dom and me. I am the poor little sub male who'll be at the mercy of the wicked woman. I'm used to all the things they've got planned, but this is probably the only way you'd get to see me experience it. Are you sure this is something you want to see, Bella? You don't have to come, I'll be back in a couple of hours."

"No, Edward.", she said, finishing her cereal now, "I told you, you're not pushing me away. I will go wherever you go. I'll be there for you. I can handle it."

I couldn't do anything except lean in and give her the most passionate kiss I think I ever shared with her. She even made a little noise, surprised by its intensity as I let my cereal bowl hit the floor and curled my arms around her.

It's not so much what she'd said but the way she had said the words. So true, so conceretely sure, I truly believed them. She was with me. She wouldn't leave me and she wouldn't let me leave her. She is a lot stronger than she looks upon first glance.

After a few minutes of wet, hot necking, I got a thought and chuckled into her ear, "Just promise me one thing. Don't dive on the dominatrix to save me this time, alright? She could have you chained up right beside me."

Bella laughed and said, "I promise. I'll sit there and watch you suffer and think, serves you right after you distracted me last night with sex."

"Good girl." I kissed her chin, then stood up and lifted her over my shoulder as she screamed, surprised by the sudden raise off the floor, "Shower time. You need a nice, hard scrubbing after last night, you dirty little thing."

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

BPOV

I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.

I can't do this.

I wondered if Edward really meant to leave this morning, or if that was his way of making me behave and treading more carefully next time we have a therapy session. James had said Edward was a master manipulator and I was starting to wonder if that was true or not.

Edward must know how much I care about him and maybe he is using that to his advantage, saying he'd leave so I would beg him to stay. But I didn't really beg. It occurred to me that he was out of his element with me, because there's no one ordering him around and maybe his mind was missing that. He was feeling insecure and out of control without that.

So for a moment I became ruler. I ordered him to stay and he listened. That is just too much power for anyone to have over another. Only someone as sweet and trusting and giving as Edward could put his entire self into the hands of others as he has done.

Should I be trying to destroy that about him, when that is also what draws me closer to him? I would have to sit down soon and listen over my tapes and start writing some of my conclusions and suspicions about him while he wasn't around. Maybe I could have him take a walk or run some errand.

But what I suspected is clear:

Something horrible happened to Tanya. I fear she is dead.

Also, I think he has a child or children somewhere. The Sponge Bob cartoons, the child-like behavior in him at times pointed to it. That would really explain why he feels he is trapped in this life and can never lose his job, as he put it. And I think that at one point Edward took this child to his parents, despite the way they treated him, in a desperate moment, and they cold heartedly shut the door in his face.

I made a mental note to ask my dad to locate them. Maybe some peace could be worked out between them. There's always two sides to every story, right? Maybe Edward could call them, if a face to face is too difficult. I didn't look forward to the reaction I'd get when I brought this up to Edward. But I think this way I could get more of the story and at the same time, Edward could start to heal if he lost some of that hatred he has deep inside for them.

I'm not saying he should forgive them. I'm saying he should let go of the anger he has because of them.

I had my notebook with me and a pen as Edward and I caught a cab to a place called Eagle Studios. For some reason, I almost thought that we'd be going to a hotel room or some house, but it seemed this movie was more high budget than that. It was no Dreamworks production, but it was not on the bottom rung I was guessing. Maybe it would be okay. Yea, okay, Bella, tell yourself that. You dope. They're planning on hurting Edward. Again. What part of that is okay?

At one point Edward tried to rub his fingers over my jeans between my legs right in the back of the taxi with the driver right in front of us, but I was proud to have stopped him, despite the quick thrill it had given me.

I was trying to be professional at the moment and steel myself to accept this next couple hours. Maybe he was trying to take my mind off things, but I told myself I have to be stronger than I've been. I will not be able to resist Edward or stop him from seducing me, but I could try to limit it so it only happened on his time, not mine. Oh, please, who am I kidding? I want him right now and it's 11:23am! God, I'm weak.

"Don't forget, Bella." Edward took my hand and squeezed it lightly, "Everything you see is an act. If I scream or anything, don't get upset. It's acting. All of it. You'll see between takes. Alright?"

"Alright." I nodded as the cab slowed and stopped in front of an office building.

"Thanks." Edward paid the cab driver and the driver said a very enthusiastic, "Woah!! Thanks, MAN!"

And then he even jumped out of the cab and opened my door for me, taking my hand and helping me out. Edward must have tipped him well.

Edward thought that was funny and shook the driver's hand as he exited. He wore a t-shirt and jeans, too, and didn't look dressed up at all as we went into this large, tall building. It looked so new and beautiful and that surprised me too. I don't know why I always envisioned flea bag motels and empty, dirty warehouses when I thought of shooting a porn film. Lots of surprises.

I followed Edward and he went up to an elevator, pressing 10. He still held my hand and winked at me as we waited for it. I wondered if I looked as scared as I felt.

The silver doors opened and a couple people exited the elevator car. We went in and were the only people inside as Edward pressed 10 and the doors closed.

"Stay!" I pointed to the right corner at him as I went to my corner of the elevator,"Edward, behave."

"But Bella…elevators!" Edward kept trying to get close to me, "They're made for fucking!"

He was kissing my neck and then licked it as the doors opened. I darted out and he chased me, running like a kid down this long marble floored hallway. It was very quiet and posh looking here and I saw a receptionist sitting at a desk. I quieted my voice but he didn't. I felt like we should be good and reserved all of a sudden. Then I remembered what we were doing here. I wonder how one introduces himself to the receptionist in this place.

"Oh, hi, I'm Spunk Ransom, and I'm shooting Big Dicks Throbbing here today."

Jesus.

I decided to hang back and let Edward take this. Giving me a slap on the ass, Edward felt no shame in front of the beautiful girl at the desk.

She buried me. Ten times over. Her skin was ivory white, flawless, and her ebony hair was pulled straight back in a tight long braid. It looked like silk. Her makeup was heavy around the eyes but expertly done and her lips sparkled with a coral shine. Her dress suit was low cut and her breasts were very large and half exposed from our view standing above her.

I almost stared at them myself, then had to make myself look away at the flowers on the desk instead. Are those mums?

Edward hardly even noticed her and leaned his arms on the glossy wooden counter between them, saying, "Hi. Edward – 7589."

I smirked at this. Very clever. Code numbers. No last names. These guys obviously had been doing this for years and knew how to do this in a classy, legal way.

But how did I know this yet, I just got here? If Charlie knew where I am right now…Christ! He'd lock me in a chastity belt and never let me leave my room again.

She looked at a couple cards and smiled up at him.

"Yes, Edward," she greeted, "You're in room 45. Down the hall and last door on the left."

"Thank you.", he smiled back, taking my hand and leading me. I guess it's okay for me not to have a code number.

Edward held me close, his arm around my waist and whispered, "Last chance to change your mind, Bella. You don't have to come with me."

"I want to." I lied, "And Edward…"

I stopped and saw we were nearly at the right door. He looked at me, curiously, as if he didn't know what I would say or do…neither did I.

I wanted to tell him that I love him, that I hated seeing him go through any pain, even fake pain, and that if I could, I would give him everything I had and that he'd never have to do this shit again. For the first time in my life, I wished I was rich.

"Yea?" he finally asked when I was just staring at him, saying nothing.

And I just held him. Holding him like I did the other night, closing my eyes and not wanting him to go in there. But I can't stop him. Besides, if Victoria ever hurt him because of something I made him do or not do, I could never forgive myself for that.

"Oh, Bella…", he sounded touched by my feelings for him, and he stroked my hair in back, "Don't…I told you it's all an act. Don't be sad. Have fun. This is all in fun. Alright?"

"Alright." I tried to smile as he kissed me briefly and opened the door.

In this room, I was relieved to see three big leather sofas, a refrigerator in the corner, and a large bed in the other corner.

"This is a room to relax in, between takes, or after the shoot. Anything you want to drink is in the fridge, just help yourself, and…", Edward began explaining to me and then I heard a man's voice call, "Edward! You're early!"

"Hi George.", he smiled graciously and shook the man's hand. This man was medium build, long, curly brown hair and a bit overweight. I assumed he was someone behind the scenes, "Bella, this is George, he's our director today. George, this is Bella, my assistant."

I smiled, not sure I was dressed right or knew what an assistant of Edward's would look like, but George didn't look surprised so I went with it. I saw a banner on the wall over one of the sofas and it was black with red scrawled writing going across it, that said "Men in "

"Well, you're a tad early, but if you like, makeup awaits." George led us down another hallway past the sofas and there was a piece of paper taped to the door that said Hair and Makeup, written in black marker.

"Alright, cool." Edward said as we followed him.

"And to begin, no costume, nude." George said to Edward as nonchalantly as someone like me would order a hamburger.

Edward grinned and commented to George, "Going right for it, huh? No build-up or anything?"

He seemed amused, not embarrassed at all.

"Not for this one." George rolled his eyes, "You know how these women are."

"Yea." Edward laughed and led me by the hand into the makeup room.

This is a large room with chairs and mirrors in front of them, but also, three showers in the back and sinks, along with towels on the towel bars and clean towels on the floor near this area.

A woman was standing in there, talking on her cell phone. She looked nice, t-shirt and jeans, like me, her hair red and up in a ponytail, perfect makeup, and she wore white sneakers, not stiletto heels.

She turned when we came in and smiled wide. Hanging up her phone without a word, she squealed, "EDWARD! My BABY!"

And in seconds, they were hugging like old friends. I found myself smiling, too, but remembered he never listed her in his little circle of friends to me.

"Hi RED!" he smiled back at her and kissed her on the cheek affectionately, "They didn't tell me you were doing us today."

"Bella, this is Red." Edward introduced us politely, "Red, Bella, my assistant. Take very good care of her today, alright?"

"I will, I will." She smiled at me wider, "Nice to meet you, hon."

"You, too." I grinned.

What the hell am I doing here?

"Well, you're early, as usual." Red complimented as Edward shrugged, then she said to me, "He's a very good little boy, this one."

I could only blush and laugh weakly at that.

"Come have a seat." Red twirled the chair to Edward and he looked at me first.

"Bella, you can sit in the chair next to me if you want." Edward looked into my eyes to make sure I was still alright.

"Okay." I took the empty seat beside him and watched Edward sit down in his seat.

"I'll do your body after your face." Red informed him and she put a cloth over him, as if she was about to cut his hair, and snapped it behind his neck.

And so, Red began to put foundation on Edward's face, matching it to his own skin tone, and applied it with a little wet sponge, asking him about Victoria.

"She's fine.", he answered without saying too much in front of me.

I listened to them as Red told Edward that a woman named – get this – Nikki Sinn was the one who'd be dominating him today. I watched Edward's reaction and he seemed to smile and roll his eyes.

Then Red began to gel and fix Edward's hair. It looked amazingly sexy.

In about a half hour, Edward's face was even more beautiful than before, if that's possible and then Red took the cloth off him and said, "You make my job so easy, you're already so gorgeous all by yourself."

Edward laughed and started taking off his shirt, careful not to smear his face. He was moving towards the towels on the floor near the showers and looked at me, maybe afraid that I would leave or not want to see this.

I smiled at him, pretending to write in my notebook as he took off his jeans and underwear. Oh, wait. I'm his assistant. I should be over there.

I closed my notebook and rushed over, taking his clothes off the floor and folded them neatly, getting a little smile from Edward at watching me play my part.

Red didn't pay much attention to Edward's body as she began to spray this little air gun thing over his back. I noticed, although it wasn't obviously spraying out like a hose would spray, but Edward's back did look more airbrushed, even and flawless as she sprayed the body make up onto his skin.

Edward, when he was turned to me and getting his chest sprayed, even started joking and talking with me while I watched.

After that, Edward was given a soft black terrycloth robe and we left that room.

Next, we went to the set – Edward said it helped him to hang around it before shooting so we went to the next room over.

No one was here at the moment, the cameras were all in place and ready to go. I felt sick right away at the "set." It was a dungeon that had a tiny cage, a wooden box, a ladder, (laying down and tilted slightly upward over another box), and a wall full of assorted whips, gags, dildos, chains, toys, and tools.

There was a huge box of every different wrapped condom to be found there, too, and when I finally looked up and saw Edward's face, I nearly cried.

He was wearing a frown of distaste and sadness and he wasn't trying to hide it.

"Edward?" I said softly, "You don't have to do this, you know. It's your choice."

"It's not that." He made his eyes look over into mine, "I don't want you to see this, Bella. I thought I could take it, you coming here with me…but…this isn't going to be fake, Bella. It's real. They're going to do things to me…things you should never have to see. I guess it's like you said, I was trying to use this to push you away. But I can't do it to you. Why don't you go home and I'll be there after I'm done here?"

"Come with me, then." I said, holding his hand, "I know you don't want to be here, either, Edward. Please. Let's get out of here. Let's go outside where there's sun and grass, please Edward."

It looked to me like he was considering it and my heart was full of hope.

"There will be trouble, Bella.", he informed without emotion.

"I'm not leaving without you." I said, touching his cheeks with my hands, "If you stay and do this, I will be here and I'll watch every minute of it. I will stick with you no matter what they do to you. I won't abandon you. But if you want to go, then we can go. You have to choose. Do what YOU want to do…"

An internal struggle was happening in him behind those delicate eyes of his and then he smiled at me, looking like a naughty child and said, "Let's go."

I couldn't believe this! It was like a miracle of magic! He took my hand and led me down the hall, past a few people that said nothing to us, and before I knew it, we were out in the hallway, closing door 45 behind us.

I love you so much, Edward.

"Oooh, wait, this way!" he snickered and yanked me down another hallway as I laughed and followed him into another room that said 39 on it.

It was dark in here and I figured we were hiding from someone Edward recognized in the halls. I was just so relieved to be out of there I giggled and then I felt Edward's hand clasp over my mouth, holding me to him as a pair of footsteps went down the hall…and were gone.

The lights went on and my mouth was released.

"Oooh, hospital scene." Edward said as my eyes focused on what did look like a real hospital room, along with all kinds of props, too. Medicines, cotton balls, play needles.

"Now we're in my fantasy.", he smiled, looking around, putting on the stethoscope, "Come here, Bella."

I was so glad to hear that he had fantasies of his own, this was my first time hearing about it.

Coming over to him, I let him place the stethoscope down into my shirt a bit, over my heart as he listened.

"Does it really work?" I asked a bit too loudly as he winced and covered my mouth again while I tried not to laugh. I guess my loud amplified voice wasn't all that kind on his ears.

He nodded at me, grinning as he listened for a minute or so.

I whispered, "What is it saying?"

He smiled more and chuckled but I already knew what my heart would be saying to him if he listened to it – I love you – I love you – I love you…

"It's beating very fast.", he shared.

Edward moved away from me for a second and went to the corner of the room, finding doctor's scrubs. He took off his robe and put them on, a nice powder blue shade against his light skin.

"You, Miss Swan, are very sick." He tossed the robe to the floor and turned to me, locking the door.

"Edward, will you get in a lot of trouble…with Victoria for this?" I asked, concerned.

Maybe we should go back. I don't want Edward getting hurt by her, either. But it seems no matter what he does, he's in trouble.

"Shhhh…" he put his hands on my shoulders and leaned me back onto the examining table, "You are babbling incoherently. You are extremely disoriented."

I laughed and began to complain but Edward took out a thermometer and stuck it in my mouth, saying, "Don't talk for 2 minutes. Hold that under your tongue."

Giving a little whimper, I held it there and felt him taking off my shirt.

"Miss Swan, don't be alarmed." He said, "I'm a doctor. You must be examined thoroughly."

Next, he removed my bra and shoved me back on the table, moving down to my jeans, unbuttoning and unzipping them as my hands nervously clenched at my sides, and I felt my panties coming off next as I made another muffled noise.

"Please, Miss Swan…don't be difficult.", the doctor said, "I would hate to have to sedate you."

I heard a couple of clicking sounds and when I looked down I saw him pulling out these stirrups from the sides of the table and they snapped into place at my sides.

"No!" I tried to speak but Edward came over to my face and slipped the thermometer out of my mouth, looking at it as my eyes looked up at him in nervous orbs.

"Wow.", his voice said with much concern, "You are running a very high fever. Lay back, Miss Swan. You shouldn't even speak."

"I don't have a fever." I decided to talk back as he leaned down a bit, bringing up a hospital restraint cuff and placing my hand through it, securing it a bit tightly as I yelped out, adding, "Hey!"

"Shhhh…" Edward moved around to my other hand as the bound one struggled at my side, and in another moment, my left hand was cuffed also, "You're so ill you might hallucinate and harm yourself, Miss Swan. Be still. I'll help you."

"I am not ill!" I argued, struggling my arms a little as he went into a drawer, taking out a little plastic ball with straps.

"You must save your strength…", he said calmly and squeezed my cheeks with his one hand. My mouth opened and the little red ball went inside, filling my entire mouth and keeping my lips slightly apart as he turned my head and fastened the strap closed behind my head, moving my hair out of it and stroking it down around my shoulders.

I gave out little muffled screams as I struggled, so excited and wet as he strolled around to the foot of the table and spoke softly as he lifted my legs up into each stirrup.

"You need an intense internal examination.", he informed, ignoring my incoherent sounds, "And you may even need to be committed for a long time, under my care. Until I feel that you're fit enough to be released into the real world again, you will belong to me. So if I were you, I would cooperate and get well."

I yanked at my restraints, arching my back as I attempted to escape. There was leather straps that coiled around my knees and fastened snugly to hold me in place and then he parted my legs wide and the stirrups clicked again, locking them.

"MMMM!!!" I tried to scream a little more loudly, trying to raise my head up and then letting it fall back down to the table, my body bucking and writhing harder as he moved around over to my breasts, his hands groping them and stroking up and down as he spoke, still gentle and soft.

"Breast exams are very important, Miss Swan.", he said with authority, his fingers pinching the nipples as I plead to him with muffled growls, "You should even examine them yourself every day in the shower."

"Your breasts are very healthy…and beautiful.", he cooed as he smiled down at me and he bent over, licking and biting them, his soft lips closing and opening over as I kept pretending to be afraid and fighting back.

My fists jerked and my feet kicked as much as they could as his hand moved down my stomach and found my clit, moving it in circles one way then the other as I whimpered uselessly.

"Miss Swan, you're far too ill to be fighting like that.", Edward warned again, grabbing me by the hair and looking into my eyes, nose to nose with me, "Stop it right now or I'll put you to sleep for three days."

I stopped moving and looked up at his beautiful eyes.

"Do you want to behave now?" he asked.

I nodded, giving another little mewing noise as he bent over me and kissed my lips, even though I was gagged.

"Such a sweet, sick girl.", he commented, walking down to the foot of the table, and added, "And now you're mine."

I looked down at him and he began to pull on a pair of latex gloves, snapping it as it got to his wrist.

"Perhaps after the vaginal examination, you'd like an anal one?" he teased, smirking at me.

"NO!" I tried to speak thru the ball in my mouth, "No, please!"

"Shhhh, alright then, behave during the vaginal then and I'll skip the anal." He informed.

I quieted a lot and closed my eyes as I felt his fingers slide right inside me, the wetness making it so easy for him to enter. I moaned out loud and felt another finger…then another….I arched my back up and growled as he slowly pulled them in and out of me.

"That's right, Miss Swan…" he purred as he kept twirling and moving his fingers in deeper, curling and bending them, "Trust your doctor to cure you. I know how to make you feel better…"

After a blissful lifetime of this, after I had an orgasm once already, he brought his mouth to my pussy and began to lick and bite and suck, parting my lips with his fingers, lapping deeper.

Screaming and screeching, my body was thrusting and thrashing in glorious agony from the sensations of his mouth and lips and tongue.

I came again and then again after that and he didn't stop, cruelly diving in again when I couldn't stand anymore.

At last he lowered his scrub pants and his marvelous erect cock was threatening me like a samurai sword.

"Now be a good little patient, Miss Swan.", he said and penetrated me all the way in as I arched again and let out a garbled scream, trapped and spread and loving it as my doctor moved back and began to fuck me slowly.

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BPOV

An hour later, we were both sated and spent and I was proclaimed cured by Dr. Cullen. My clothes were back on and so was Edward's black robe.

"Trust me." Edward took my hand and kissed it, leading me, sneakingly, back into the hallway right outside room 45. There was a fire alarm lever there and he pulled it, a ringing bell sound and water pouring out of the sprinklers overhead showering down on us.

"Come on!" he yanked me hard as I squealed from the cold water raining down on me and we entered room 45 again, sitting on the leather sofa.

George, Red, and a few others came running out of the other rooms, shouting and trying to save the cameras from the water. A naked girl also came racing out of the makeup room, looking pissed off and very wet.

Edward looked at George and asked, "What is this?"

"I don't know, man, I'm sorry." George was holding a camera, a towel over it, "Must be a fire in the building. Looks like it's off for today. I'll have to re schedule this. I'll call Victoria and set you up. Sorry."

I smiled and snickered as Edward looked at me, celebrating in his eyes, his hair dripping wet and his eyeliner a bit smudged.

Another observation: Edward Cullen is brilliant.

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Love, WinndSinger

Hope you liked this!

See next chapter !

Therapy and Fire coming up !


	13. Fire Cage

13

Notes: In reference to the condom issue, yes, Edward still uses condoms everytime with Bella, it's his rule. I don't always mention it, especially sometimes from Bella's point of view, because as she's tied up, etc, she is at times describing what she's feeling instead of what she may or may not be seeing.

But, rest assured, Edward will always use a condom with Bella and any of his clients, as he does not want to bring Bella especially or any of them any type of sexual disease. So, there is no chance of Bella getting pregnant. That's all either of them would need right now. Sorry. LOL

And yea, I didn't really go for making Tanya a bitch. They were both tired and sad and frustrated and that's what marriage looks like when you're both all those things. It takes a toll. I hoped I conveyed it that Tanya did love Edward and he loved her, but a lot of things happened to beat that love pretty hard. They both said horrible things they didn't mean but that happens too, when you don't really say what's hurting you inside. Unfortunately, for Edward, he never got to apologize and say how he never meant those things.

Which is why he is so afraid now to anger the people in his life. His anger was intense and full blown with Tanya and he unleashed it on her. Now he can never make it right and that tortures him everyday. Hence, the need to please everyone, to never anger anyone again, to hold his rage inside, even if it means turning it onto himself.

I talk too much – let me write – hope you enjoy this next one!!

Love, WinndSinger

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BPOV

"Where are we going?" Edward was still smiling at me as I led him to the 5th floor of my building, then to the door that went to the roof. It is a large, flat, square area, ledges surrounding us. Buildings, trees, and the rich blue skies encircled.

"My other office.", I had him by the hand as I stepped out into the sunlight.

"Nice view.", he commented, walking behind me, the cool breeze playing with his copper hair.

"Yea, I felt we needed some air and sunshine." I confessed, "And I want to try something. I might be wrong, I am a student, but I had an idea that might make things….easier for you. Will you try it for me, Edward?"

His face looked so innocent to me again and he stood there, staring at me and said, "I trust you completely Bella. You can try anything with me. Remember, there's no wrong for us."

I hope he means that. I hope this isn't a mistake.

"Alright, sit down." I sat myself on the floor of the roof and crossed my legs, watching him do the same opposite me.

"Well, first, before we begin, I want to say that I'm very proud of you, Edward." I said, hoping my voice didn't sound too condescending, "It took a lot of courage for you to go against what you knew today and say no to that film. I'm not sure if you did it only for my sake or for yours, too, and frankly, I don't want to know. Either way, it was great. You decided. And you did it in a way that doesn't get you in trouble with the big V. That was genius."

"The big V?" Edward looked playful and laughed at that.

"Before I try my idea," I began, "Is there anything that you want to talk about first? Anything bothering you?"

"Well, I did want to ask if you still want to come to Fire tonight.", he said, "Like I said, you can bring your friends if you like and be my guests. Or, if you'd rather not, that's alright, too."

"Do you want me to come?" I made him choose again.

"Yes.", he looked worried that maybe he chose wrong.

But there's no right or wrong answer here.

"Then I'll come." I smiled, resisting the urge to reach for his hand, "And I understand that at Fire, you're working. I won't hold anything you do there against you, so don't worry about that. I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything."

"I know, Bella.", he tilted his head and looked into my eyes.

"Thank you, Edward." I said, feeling the wind tugging at a lock of my hair.

"For what?"

"For not allowing me to watch that torture today." I looked down at my sneaker, "I would've endured it for you, but…it would've been so painful for me, to see them hurting you."

He looked down at his legs and didn't say anything.

"And I'll bring my friends." I said to lighten the subject, "They've been a little mad at me this week, hogging you all to myself and not telling them much."

"You don't tell them about us?" he smiled at me, watching me shake my head, his eyes twinkling in the sun, "Why not?"

"It's not that I'm ashamed of anything we've done, just the opposite." I said, "But it's _ours_. And I don't want to share it with anyone."

"I understand that.", he responded.

"Yes I know.", I answered, "Which brings me to my idea."

I unzipped my purse on the floor next to me and took out a couple of scarves, black in color. He just studied me as I grinned and, placing a kiss on his forehead first, I continued, speaking very softly and lovingly.

"You have a lot you don't want to share, because it hurts too much…"I said, slowly placing the one scarf around his eyes and tying just a single knot behind his head, "And you tend to be very tense and uncomfortable when my questions get too difficult. I notice you have trouble looking into my eyes when it's time to answer a hard question. I thought…maybe…this might help you a little."

I took his hands, treating them as if they were made of glass, curling the scarf around his wrists in front of him as his head turned halfway, his face so achingly beautiful with the blindfold on…my captive angel.

I lightly made one knot around his wrists, enough to make him feel secure…loose enough to escape if he chose to.

I finished, touching his leg with my caring hand.

"I'm right here." I said warmly, "Was I right? Do you feel more comfortable this way? More secure?"

His head bowed a little and his lips trembled a tiny bit. He bit down on his bottom lip and took a breath, answering me, "Yes, Bella."

"Are you alright, Edward?" I stroked his leg over the denim of his jeans.

"Yes, I'm fine, Bella.", he relaxed and I could see his body losing its tension with my naked eye.

"Don't forget, you can use the lo mein words, too." I said to him, "If anything gets too hard, say it. And we stop. That deal works both ways. I'm not going to push against your will anymore, just as you never do anything against mine. I want to be fair to you, Edward."

His lips smiled a little grin and he said, "This was a good idea, Bella. I wish I'd thought of it."

"Believe me, Edward, your ideas are fucking incredible." I said and he laughed out loud for a few seconds.

"Do you like being bound?" I asked, my voice so innocent sounding.

"Yes.", he answered quietly, his face pointed slightly to the right of mine.

"Why do you like it?" I felt my hand rest on his leg, to reassure him that I was nearby.

"It's like…" he thought for a few seconds and said, "someone wants you so much that they've tied you there, to keep you from getting away. I like feeling…wanted."

His answers are good and coming easier to him than usual. I was so glad. Maybe my eyes stare back at him in some strange disbelief that makes him feel ashamed.

"And do you like feeling pain?" I touched his right hand, unable to resist the urge to stroke him when he was this way. I wanted him to feel my gentle, painless touch while he was at my mercy instead of the agony he usually gets to experience.

"Sometimes…", his voice was low and a little dreamy and I had a feeling the way I was petting him.

"When do you….not like it?" my hands were still very slow and soothing on his arms.

He hesitated but then said, "I don't like being…raped. I thought, working with no men, that I could be spared that. But…I was naïve…and forgot all about strap ons."

I was glad he couldn't see my eyes now and I didn't dwell on this topic for long.

"And…what do you like about it?" I probed further, "Pain, I mean?"

"Mmm, hard.", he grinned, thinking about it, "Umm…pain is raw…and clean. There's nothing else to think about when it has you, it demands attention and respect. There was a line to a song once that goes, I cut myself today to see if I can feel. I don't know how else to say it. I'm sorry."

"Don't be – you're doing so great, Edward." I touched his legs again, "I'm so glad you feel more expressive with the blindfold and all on. I didn't think this would be a good idea."

"It's brilliant, Bella.", he smiled a little, "I feel a lot less…nervous."

"Good." I placed a small kiss on his lips, seeing his surprised face smile more afterwards as he didn't see that coming.

"Mmmm, Dr. Bella…" he purred, "I like the positive reinforcement."

"Tell me about when you first began working at Fire." I suggested, just moving my fingers along his knees now.

"Oh God, I was terrible!" he laughed after that little confession and smiled as he continued, "A week after I was hired, Victoria just throws her new guys to the lions on Friday night. I had worked out a little dance routine but I was trying to dance like all the other guys, trying to act sexy or something. I sucked!! I remember Emmett cringing as he stood in the audience, ice cubes and cold water being thrown at me, and women screaming PENIS, PENIS – at me. Thank God I got another chance."

"What happened then?" I smiled, only at the beauty of his happy face wearing the blindfold.

"Victoria.", he said, "She took me out back and sort of…gave me some advice. She told me to drop my fear, kill my shame. I tried that later the same night and it worked. I got better after a lot of practice. I learned how to make my act my own, not copying from other dancers. That was the main thing that worked for me, being unique, I guess. That's what Emmett says."

"Emmett sounds like a good friend." I said, liking him more and more as Edward talked about him.

"Yea." Edward agreed.

"Tell me a little bit more about Victoria." I touched his hands again, treading lightly for now.

"She's a good friend, too.", he said, looking pleasant enough as he answered, "She's the boss so at times she can come off a little hard and tough. She has to be, running that place all by herself. She's very smart. And she protects us, all of us, who work for her."

"Well, I'm talking about you and her now…" I pointed out, "I know you speak well of her and that's great, but you said earlier, she would punish you if you didn't do the film today. She hurts you, Edward?"

"She hasn't had to for awhile now…" he admitted, "I don't give Victoria a hard time. I do what I'm told."

"What if you…didn't do what she wanted?" I asked, "What if you just didn't show up for that film today?"

He scoffed and shook his head a little. "Like I said, trouble." Edward reminded, "Don't even go there. You don't want to stand nose to nose with her, trust me. Besides, she has the power over me. I have to do what she says or I'm out."

And that thought scares the shit of out of Edward and I already saw that once before.

"Why do you trust her so much when she's hurting you?" I had to ask, it seemed that his eyes not looking into mine gave me a little courage, too.

"I told you, Bella.", he reminded patiently, "She watches out for me. If it weren't for her, I would be dead now."

"Does that make it okay for her to do whatever she wants to you?" I asked.

"Please, Bella, it is what it is." Edward said, not turning angry at all in his voice, "I accepted it a long time ago."

"I was so naïve before we met." I confessed, "I didn't think there was so much cruelty…or slaves…or…real dungeons like I saw today. I hate that you're in this world, Edward. You deserve so much more. You deserve to be happy."

"You sound so sad, Bella…" he leaned his head on mine, cuddling, "Don't be sad. I wish I didn't have to talk about all this…then I could just focus myself 100% on making you happy."

His lips softly reached out and touched my bottom lip so softly I nearly trembled from the emotion it brought out in me.

"Don't you want to be happy, Bella?" he whispered, his lips opening and crushing themselves over mine as his tongue licked up my closed lips. The moment it made contact there, he was in, his warm tongue tasting mine.

"Mmpphhh!!!" I said, gently pushing him back into place, glad his naughty, skilled hands were tied, "Edward…be good."

"I'm always good.", he said with a bit of a swagger that I couldn't help smiling at.

"Can I ask a couple more questions now…about Tanya?" I asked timidly.

"I think next time we make love, it'll be outside." Edward said in response to me, "What do you think, Bella? You seemed to enjoy the bookstore…up until the end."

"Hey…Edward…" I injected with a slight hint of annoyance, "We're on my time at the moment…"

"Yes, Ma'am.", he pouted, sticking his bottom lip out, his hands resting in his lap.

"Can we talk a little more about Tanya?" I asked again.

"Yes.", he looked a bit more tense now.

"How about if I ask yes or no questions." I offered, "You can nod for yes, shake your head for no. Would that make it a little easier?"

He nodded silently. So adorable. I can't wait to fuck him outside. Hey, BELLA! Be professional for ONCE!! Okay, okay…stop nagging me already!!

"Did you and Tanya…divorce?" I started.

He shook his head. No.

"Did Tanya leave?"

Again, he shook his head. No.

This is bad. I had a feeling.

"Did Tanya…die?", my voice could hardly say the word, my eyes squinting as I watched his face, almost glad I couldn't see those sad, aching eyes.

I waited for a minute or two and Edward bent his head, internally battling to answer me. He could've said lo mein, but he didn't. He is trying to be braver and give me answers now. This is progress and I'm so elated at how far we've come in only 5 short days.

When he was ready, he lifted his head and nodded a couple times, exhaling a ragged breath, hurting going on inside him.

I held his bound hands in mine and gave them a caring squeeze, wishing I didn't have to do this to him. I'd much rather see him laughing and carefree…but I wanted it to be true, not an act to be put on for me.

"I know, Edward, I know it hurts…it's okay to hurt. Don't be afraid." I whispered, cupping my hands around his cheeks, "You are doing so well…can we keep going a little more?"

After a few seconds, he nodded, his jaw clenching then slowly loosening.

"Was Tanya sick, Edward?"

He shook his head.

"Then there must have been some kind of accident. Is that right?", I went as delicately as I could.

He nodded.

"Alright." I said, "I won't ask about that right now."

"Why did you say pass yesterday when I said the word child?" I asked, realizing that wasn't a yes or no question, then I added, "Did you and Tanya have a child?"

I kept holding his hands and his fingers curled a little bit more around mine.

"Edward, nothing you say will make me pull away. Nothing." I confirmed for him, "I want to know you – good, bad, and ugly. I'm your friend. I won't leave you."

He swallowed and let out a harder, more rugged breath, as if he were being slowly stabbed or cut.

Then he nodded once. Yes. There was a child. Or there is. I prayed the child wasn't dead, too.

"Is it a boy?" I found myself asking next, not releasing his shivering hands.

He shook his head. No.

"A girl?" I asked, picturing a little pixie with his fair white skin, crystal eyes and dark reddish hair.

He nodded twice, his mouth in a solemn frown.

"Okay, good…" I breathed, stroking his hands with my thumbs, "Are you alright, still, Edward?"

He took a breath and nodded. "Yes, Bella."

"That's enough for today." I said, my right hand moving to his face, stroking it with the back of my hand.

Edward nodded again, not moving to free himself.

"Edward…" I whispered, so attracted to his innocence and his hidden emerald eyes…and I grabbed the back of his hair in my fingers, placing small, hot kisses all over his mouth, from corners to the center. His kiss came back, adding fire and rough passion.

I heard his voice moan as his fingers curled and uncurled in their bonds in his lap and I realized he was still technically tied up in my control.

Finally, I stopped and his mouth still dropped tiny little kisses along my lips, then down my chin, he was blindly exploring.

"Alright, doll face…", I giggled, loosening the knot behind Edward's head, "Let's see those beautiful eyes…"

And when I took the scarf away, I saw the tears in his eyes and my eyes cried too.

"Come here." I took the scarf off his wrists and held him as tightly to me as I could, stroking his hair as he held me too, his lips resting on my shoulder.

"Thank you so much." I whispered in his ear that was right beside my lips, "Thank you for trusting me."

"Bella…" he whispered, kissing me with even more affection, along my jaw, "Bella…"

"Shhh…it's okay." I closed my eyes and just let my embrace encircle him, wishing it was enough to dry his tears forever, "We don't have to say any more."

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Later, we talked some more on the roof and I told Edward more about my boring past. He seemed so interested in everything I said. I revealed that Charlie was a cop and that didn't scare Edward at all. He said he admired police.

At 3pm, Edward made his phone call and I went down to the apartment to invite Rosalie and Alice along to Fire tonight. They both had lots of questions and I told them I'd talk to them about it later tonight.

I also appointed Rosalie to keep an eye on me tonight. I had a feeling I was going to be drinking heavily during this whole evening. I kind of felt badly for not telling them more. We were best friends, but I still wanted to keep Edward all to myself. I felt wrong gushing on about the details of our sexual adventures and I'd never tell them anything spoken to me in private during our therapy together.

After about 20 minutes, Edward came into the apartment and curled his arms around me from behind, playfully kissing my neck, down my shoulder.

"Mmmm…I love your lips." I confessed, my head falling back against his rock hard chest.

"I love your…everything.", he answered, his teeth closing down in the spot where my neck met my shoulder, "But, alas, fair Bella, we don't have time for a proper fucking right now. Later."

He moved back away from me as my voice whined. I watched him and he headed into my bedroom, opening the closet and moving some hangers.

I laughed for a second and followed him.

"Are you dressing as a girl tonight?" I teased.

"No, but you are.", he smirked, tossing a couple things onto my bed, "I want to see that little slut I've been fucking tonight. You'll wear this. And do your makeup, the way you did for the bookstore. That was very hot."

I looked on the bed and felt a little scared suddenly, but I didn't show it.

And, as if he read my mind, he came over and tipped my chin up with his fingers.

"You're always hot, Bella.", he stated, "So don't misunderstand me. Now come wash me."

With this, he pulled me to follow him as he backed towards the bathroom.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

EPOV

I can't believe it. 5 days. 5 fucking days and I practically told her everything. Everything I didn't want her to ever know.

What kind of spell does this girl have over me, anyway? Why can't I resist her?

Oh yea, because I've fallen in love with her. Shit. This is against the rules. Victoria would murder me for this. I can't let it show tonight. Victoria will have been missing me this last week. Every morning I called and said I couldn't come in her voice became more and more tense. I would have to keep my distance from Bella tonight. I'm glad her friends are going to be with her.

This shouldn't be too difficult. Bella has already seen me in action at Fire. She knows what I do there.

Dope, that was before she knew you. Now she holds you all night and curls her legs around yours while you sleep. Things are different now. Even when she didn't know me, she rescued me from that monster woman. She is starting to get attached to me. I can feel it in her every touch, her words are filled with compassion and care.

I don't want her pity and she doesn't seem to pity me in an obvious way. Once therapy is done, she becomes my girl again. She hasn't said lo mein once to me. I didn't want to say it, either, when given the option. I want to tell her my whole story. I want her to be there and hold me while I say the words.

I am going to hurt so badly after these two weeks are over. And worse, I will have to hide it. Victoria doesn't want to see that I care about someone else. She won't want to see me moping around, looking all depressed. Her arms don't hold anyone. And her words cut, they don't care.

We are on the train now, on the way to Fire. And I'm holding her hand and letting her legs lay on top of my extended ones on the empty seat in front of us, and all I can think of is our last shower together, only about an hour ago.

She washed me this time, getting all that crappy makeup off my body, and before I knew it, she was on her knees, taking the entire length of my penis into her wet, warm mouth…she looked so fucking eatable as the water and soap suds ran down over her almost black shiny hair, moving down her slender neck towards her round, full breasts. It didn't take me very long to come. She has one talented mouth, both in talking and sucking.

And that was no pity blow job. She was wild! It felt like she really and truly wanted to drink me down, all of me. I even screamed a couple of times, in a very masculine fashion, of course.

I'm glad she wanted to come with me. Part of me knew it might be hard for her to watch me working tonight, but this was the tamest job I worked, and was sort of PG-13 compared to my R and X rated activities.

God, Bella looks smoking hot in that outfit I picked for her. Little tiny mini skirt, black lace that barely covered her tight little ass…black stockings, ankle boots, stiletto heel…and for her top, we combined a see-through white lace tank top with a black tank top that I ripped a little down the middle to expose a little peek at her naked tits inside, encased in sheer white.

And before we had left the apartment, I added one more thing – a little egg vibrator – no wires on this one – was now sitting deep inside her. I have the little remote control and I could tape it on the outside of my leg, up near my hip, and whenever I see her getting anxious or maybe a little jealous, I will give her a little taste to calm her down a bit…or rev her up if she's looking a tad depressed or sad. Maybe later, I could kidnap her again and take her to one of the private rooms, only this time I'd give her more than a massage.

"Can you feel it, inside you?" I reached between her legs, not caring about other people around us and felt the sheer panties I picked out for her to wear. I wish she had some thongs, but, sadly, no. I'd have to have her friends take her shopping over the weekend. She is in desperate need of some sexy things.

"No." she trembled a little as her eyes twinkled at me, looking so sensual from inside the painted up eyes, the plum shades of eyeshadow…the black eyeliner…the glossy crimson lips…the soft hints of blush accenting her cheekbones.

I hit my remote from the pocket of my jeans, turning it up just a bit, and asked, "Can you feel it now?"

Her eyes widened as her lips smiled at me, her fingers clutching at my arm for support, not to stop me.

"Yes!" she gasped, her legs tensing as I enjoyed watching her squirm.

"That's the low setting, Bella." I informed wickedly, "Here's a little more."

Cranking it up a notch, she gasped louder and her back arched high. Her little fists clenched and I took this opportunity to move her a little, to lay sideways, across my chest, and I forced her chin up with one hand, making her face point towards the people in the row beside us.

My other hand slipped in under the white lace, plucking at her right nipple, twisting it as her boots clicked against the plastic seats they were perched on.

"Bend your legs up and open them, Bella." I demanded, "Do it or I increase the speed…and you'll be howling like an animal in front of all these nice people, whether you want to or not."

Her eyes opened like slits for a moment, then the fear of facing strangers made them shut again, tighter, as she obeyed me, her thighs and knees shivering.

"Very good, Bella…you are such a good girl." I praised her, kissing her lips and petting and stroking my fingers up and down her breasts underneath the fragile top she was wearing.

She moaned out, trying to keep quiet. I almost laughed. Everyone around us had their eyes glued to us already, it didn't really matter.

"You like the way that feels, don't you, Bella?" I growled into her ear as she panted and quivered.

"Yes.", she answered, in a breathy whisper.

"Louder." I urged as she whimpered.

"Yes!" she gasped again, quickly losing control of herself and her inhibitions.

"Kiss me." I ordered next and she clung onto my hair and pulled her mouth to mine, ravaging my mouth with a very brutal, wet kiss, her hips rocking a little as my hand moved to her panties, clutching them with my stern fingers.

"There's my slut…" I cooed, "Give me your nipple."

She half whimpered, the little shred of her good girl side dieing fast. But her hand moved to her right breast, and quickly brought it out of her top, holding it for me as her other hand, still in my hair, forced my face down to it.

Wow. Bella, the bad girl is RED HOT! She is doing so well since she joined the Edward Cullen Institute for Future Bad Girls of America. She might make valedictorian!

I licked, bit, and kissed that baby nipple until it was erect and rock hard. I loved the sounds of Bella's husky, sexed growls and moans. She wasn't even trying to be quiet anymore.

I loved how she was obeying me without any hesitation. I can't wait to play Dom and slave next week!! What a wonderful blessing that she had some days off of school. She will be my slave for days!

I hit the button to stop the vibrations all together and her body fell limply into my arms, her eyes opening and looking up at mine with raw distaste.

"We have to get off soon." I explained, cruelly.

"I WAS getting off!" she argued.

I laughed and kissed her lips affectionately, adjusting her top so her breast was back inside. The train was stopping now and I poked her in the ass with my finger, bidding her to stand up.

Now, here is how sick New York is.

We stood up and moved to the opening doors of the train and…yes, this is true…a round of applause burst out from behind us, where we just were sitting!

I started to laugh but Bella's face turned the absolute shade of an eggplant! She yanked me by the shirt out of the car and didn't even look back as it charged on without us.

"You are so incredible." I said to her as I led her by the hand up the stairs towards the street.

"This city is so ill." Bella chuckled, getting over her embarrassment, "I told my Dad this is the perfect place to be a psychiatrist."

I smiled, agreeing totally with her.

"Yes, you'll never run out of patients around here." I concurred.

"Well, maybe they'll have to lock us both up, then." She said behind me as we walked down the sunny street full of quick walking people.

"Ohhh, you enjoyed that, did you?" I walked side by side with her now, proud of her courage.

"Yea.", she said, as if it should've been obvious to me.

"I love trains." I grinned.

"Well, now, thanks to you, every time I get on one, I'll be all hot and bothered." , she pinked a bit in the cheeks.

"Good." I kissed her, looking both ways and crossing the street.

We had a quick bite to eat at this great little deli across the street from Fire. This is where I get my giant Icee, a sinful little pleasure of mine, before I go to work. Bella had one, too, a green apple one, in her hand as we left, about 4:45pm.

"So…you don't have a car?" she asked, after we ate and crossed the street. I wondered where that came from.

"Yea, I do." I said, "I never drive it to work, though. Another rule I learned the hard way. Jealous boyfriends or husbands…they sometimes hang around outside at night, waiting to jump us. One night, they really smashed up my poor baby before I came out. Then they tried to smash me up."

"Oh God.", she sounded afraid for me, "Did you get hurt?"

"No." I grinned, "I knew how to fight at that point. Emmett taught me. Don't worry, if anything ever happens, I can protect you."

I almost told her how Victoria had my Volvo all fixed up, good as new, but for some unknown reason, I skipped that.

"Oooh, I love a man who knows how to kick ass.", she said, surprising me again, "Bruce Lee, Brandon Lee, too…Jean Claude Van Damme…and now…Edward Cullen…"

I laughed. "I'm no martial arts guy. I know how to fight dirty. Street fighting. It's not pretty like in the movies."

We approached the club and I checked the alley with my eyes first before bringing Bella into it. Sometimes there were homeless there, or drug dealers. But, now, thankfully, it was empty and smelly, as usual.

"Hold your breath." I advised, leading her down the whole length of the alley, dodging broken bottles and puddles until we were behind Fire.

Emmett was there, chewing on a piece of apple, enjoying the warm weather and sunlight. He wore a red muscle shirt and black shorts with sneakers.

"Hey Bro!", Emmett perked up when he saw us and stood, offering me a slice of apple.

I took one and so did Bella, when he offered his little plastic container of fruit to her next.

"Emmett", I said, "You remember Bella, don't you?"

"How could I forget a face that beautiful?" he laid on the charm, taking her hand and kissing it. I almost rolled my eyes. Is that what I look like?

"Hi Emmett.", she giggled, not used to his attentions.

"So, Bella, has this jerk been treating you right?" he asked her, ignoring me now as I chewed my apple slice.

"Hey!" I injected.

"Yes," she blushed a little, holding my hand as she swallowed her apple piece, "He's ruined me for anyone else."

"That's because I don't want anyone else to have you." I said and immediately wanted to kick myself. I meant it but I didn't want to hurt her. I didn't want her to know how involved I was getting.

She was smiling and not acting funny so I pushed that aside and said to Emmett, "Victoria here yet?"

"Not yet." Emmett popped another apple piece into his mouth, "Just me so far…and now you guys."

"Who am I tonight?" I asked, wondering if I wanted to hear the answer.

"Vampire boy again.", he smiled fiendishly, "You were out for a whole week, so that's your punishment. Everyone else hates doing it."

"Including me." I complained.

"I thought you said you didn't mind." Emmett reminded.

"Bella's already seen me as the vampire." I kept griping.

"Tough.", he smiled without sympathy.

"Come on." I dropped it and took her into the back door, my voice tender and sweet now, "You can help oil me. Somehow, I think I'd enjoy your hands on my back much more than Emmett's."

She laughed and followed me, but instead of going into the dressing rooms, I brought her out into the empty club area. There wasn't anyone here, as Emmett said.

"Wow, it looks kind of…not so bad with all the lights on and no one else around." Bella commented as I opened the vampire cage and made sure it was fairly clean.

The cage door slammed behind me and my head spun, seeing her on the other side, smirking devilishly at me.

"Bad little vampire.", she said with a dark tone to her voice.

I frowned and hissed at her, lunging at the bars of the closed door, yanking and uselessly pulling on the hard steel between us.

She stood her ground as I poked my nose a bit through the bars, a low growl coming out of my throat, a sexual snarl.

"You want a little taste?", she teased me, placing her throat between the bars, "Come on…don't be shy…snack time."

She is getting very good at playing. I love that.

My tongue lapped at her throat, sucking the flesh and kissing over every vein and muscle available to me there. I growled contentedly and she moaned, too, enjoying it as much as I was.

"Good boy….", she stroked my hair through the bars.

I went to take a bite but she jerked back, angry now.

"No biting, you evil thing!" she scolded me, slamming her hand into the bars, trying to suppress her groan at the pain in her hand as I bit my lip to hold my laughter inside.

"You will get no dinner tonight, just for that.", she punished.

I made my face sad and she melted.

She opened the cage door and stepped inside, saying, "This is where we met. Now there's a story to tell the grandchildren."

We laughed as she closed the door behind her. I opened my mouth to stop her but it was too late.

She pinned my back to the bars and kissed me and I hit the button in my jeans pocket again, giving her a small little buzzing inside.

"No…" she moaned into my mouth a little as my tongue rolled around hers, the tastes of cherry icee and green apple mixing together surprisingly well.

"Yes." I grinned, digging my fingernails into her ribs, holding her hips to mine as my cock hardened.

"No…Edward don't…" she whimpered, her nails scraping down my t-shirt in back, "You work here…we can't…"

"Emmett will sit outside for another hour." I informed, sliding the straps on her shoulders down hard, forcing them down to her waist, exposing the perfect breasts, then lifted the skirt a bit, moving the panties aside, "And no one else will be here for a couple more hours…"

I unbuttoned my jeans, unzipped and pulled them down just enough to release my cock from my denim prison.

"You have no condom." Bella thought she had me there…but I had planned for this.

"Wrong, little girl." I smirked, taking one out of my jeans pocket, "Vampire whores always have condoms, don't forget that."

I spun her around roughly, putting her hands on the bars, silently ordering her to hold onto them. Then I bent her over a bit, placing my red vampire condom on, and holding her legs, I pierced myself inside her.

She screamed out and so did I…her pussy was still so tight, it squeezed me every time I entered, holding me tight like she loved to do to my body all the time.

Her legs were spread out wide and I moved slowly in and out of her, at times coming all the way out, then penetrating her again, all the way in.

"I wanted to do this to you that first night you walked in here." I said in a jagged voice as I moved inside her, my fingers stroking over her ass cheeks, "And I know the egg is still inside you…buzzing away as I fuck you…let's turn it up a bit, shall we?"

"No…no…" she gasped as I reached down a bit more, finding the button and increasing the speed even higher than in the subway.

"This will make you lose your brilliant little mind, Bella." I kept pumping inside her, going a bit faster now, "You won't have the will or reason to control yourself now. So you scream now…scream for me, bitch!"

And she was screeching and howling like a mindless thing, a pleasure ridden lump of flesh at my mercy as her white ass cheeks slapped against my pelvis as I rode her harder.

It wasn't long before she was screaming, "FUCK!! FUCK!!" at the top of her lungs, all inhibitions and shyness a memory.

I shoved her breasts into the bars, lifting her legs with my arms so her feet were off the ground, dangling and kicking uselessly as my hands took the bars on each side of me, slamming harder and harder, a brutal beast myself now…grunting and panting over her half bare back below.

"No matter what else you see tonight," I grunted, "Know this…that I fucked you in this tiny cage…and that you're my bitch…and that you're taking me home with you tonight…and then I wanna fuck you on the roof."

She screamed out, affected by my words and coming hard…I was glad…I wasn't much further behind her and I exploded and cried out, growling savagely.

Carefully, I lowered her legs down and eased her body down to the floor of the cage, a nice little black fur floor there as she rested, laying her cheek against the bars, holding onto them, and then she screamed and jerked again, whimpering, "Please, Edward…please…no…"

I frowned, wondering what was wrong…then a light bulb lit above my head.

"Oh, the egg!" I snickered, hitting the stop button, "Sorry, sweetheart."

I zipped up, deciding to clean up the condom mess once we got out of here, but first I needed to check the egg.

"Come here, Bella, open up for me…" I eased my voice as I parted her legs and reached in, inserting my two fingers as she arched her back and screamed out, clinging to the bars.

"Shhh, shhh…it's okay…" I had to reach way up to find the egg and I moved it back down into place, right inside her lips, not too high up, that would only be painful for her, not exciting, "There you go…sorry about that, Bella."

"Sorry about what?" she panted, her eyes looking heavy, "That was so fucking…great!"

"Well, I meant the egg…" I smirked, "And the cage door."

"What?" she frowned, waking up now, "What about the cage door?"

"It's locked." I informed, sitting on the floor behind her.

"What?" she looked panic stricken.

"When you closed it, it locked.", I stated, "We're prisoners now."

"No." she thought I was kidding, but she looked scared.

I laughed, "Try opening it if you don't believe me."

And she did. There was no knob in here to open it with. Then she tried putting her hands through the bars to come under the handle to open it, but the way the bars sat, your hands don't reach the handle that way.

I couldn't help laughing again. "It's funny to see someone else try to escape the cage for a change.", I said, folding my arms.

"Emmett!!" I finally called, chuckling, "Emmett, save us!"

I was smiling until I heard high heeled shoes clicking down the stairs that led down from Victoria's office.

Shit!

I got to my feet and wasn't sure what to do.

"Bella." I cupped my hands under her arms, "Stand up…stand behind me."

She didn't look like she understood but she did it. I fixed her shirt and lowered her skirt into place fast as the footsteps kept coming. As she reached the bottom of the stairs, she turned and now came into my view.

"Edward!" she smiled and lit up inside, "What are you doing in there all alone and dressed, my sweet?"

She was coming to let me out as I smiled and said, "I stepped in to clean it a bit and it fell closed. Sorry,Victoria."

I wish I were able to keep Bella out of her view completely, but as she got closer, she saw Bella standing there behind me.

"Oh, you have a little friend in there with you.", she kept smiling and looked at Bella, up and down, "And she's so cute, too."

Victoria didn't move to the door to open it yet, she stood there, outside the cage, moving around to the side, to get a better look at Bella.

"You must be Bella.", she greeted with a nice, friendly tone while I watched like a hawk, hoping Victoria's fangs didn't come out. Not in front of Bella, please.

"Yes, Bella Swan.", Bella replied in a low, emotionless voice.

"I'm Victoria.", she said proudly, putting her hands on her hips. She was wearing a tight little gray business type dress, sexy and short, cleavage showing.

A pause came up and I tried to break the silence.

"I'm Edward." I informed and only Victoria laughed at my little joke. Bella stared at Victoria, not showing anything in her eyes.

Yes, I'm Edward and I have a mess in my jeans, can I be released now?

"Yes, I know _you_…you're my Edward…" Victoria didn't emphasize the word MY – but she did make her point as she walked up to the cage door and opened it, "It must be you he's trying to free, Bella, Edward loves spending time in this little cell, don't you, Edward?"

"Yes, Victoria." I smiled, letting Bella step out first as I held her hand to support her. She was out and I went to follow but Victoria slammed the door closed on me, almost getting my foot.

"Stay.", she gave me a hard look as my stomach sank.

Bella looked back at me with worry in her face as Victoria took her by the hand and smiled, saying, "Come over here and sit down. You're a client now and I do want to make sure you're happy, Bella."

My eyes felt like they were round hollow holes as they sat at a table right alongside me. The cage was slightly higher than the table and they sat down. Bella's eyes stayed on me and she gave me a little grin to relax me.

"I'm not really a client." Bella said in a respectful and low voice, looking very uncomfortable there with Victoria.

"Sure you are." Victoria smiled and winked at me, "You paid for him, your check cleared, and you are fucking him."

"Victoria, I have to start getting ready for the show." I cut in, not wanting Bella to yell or shout at Victoria. It would be a huge mistake.

"Edward, kneel !", she barked at me and my eyes darted to Bella.

Oh God, how humiliating would it be to kneel after she ordered me to, instead of trying to help Bella. What would Bella think of me? She'd see me as weak.

"Don't look at her, I said KNEEL!" Victoria sneered, not even turning to look at me.

I slammed to my knees with a loud, angry thud, my fists at my sides, my head turned away, ashamed, in front of Bella.

I made myself a statue, staring at the bars as Victoria said, "And silence, too, Edward."

Bitch. Motherfucking, cocksucking, Queen of Whores, burn in Hell for eternity, God damned bitch!

"Is that really necessary?", Bella asked with a tense voice, "You don't have to humiliate him. And don't I own him right now? I don't want him to kneel. Edward, stand up."

Oh no…what do I do now? Before I could think to do anything, Victoria's voice rose up.

"He won't disobey _me_. He knows his place, Bella.", Victoria glanced in my direction as I stayed still, hating myself for listening to her. Hating myself, period.

Then she spoke to Bella, her voice still polite but icy, "I'm just going to say this once, Bella Swan. And I'm going to be nice because you're a customer. Edward is not yours. He is mine. You are renting him, like a DVD. You can play him all you like and have a good time with him, by all means, but when you're through, clean him up real good and make sure he gets back to the store in the same condition he left in. Because there's a line of other people waiting their turn. I hope you take no offense. I do like you, Bella. But I just had to make things clear."

Bella didn't answer and I was glad she was too smart to dare it. It would get very nasty and then, Victoria could order me to leave Bella. And it would kill me to miss the next nine days with her. It would kill me to miss an hour with her.

She got up and walked over to the door of my cage, opening it.

"Edward, stand and go get ready.", she ordered and I slowly stood up, unable to hide my expression of anger and betrayal at her as I stepped out of the cell and went down the three steps, moving past Bella and to the hallway towards the dressing rooms.

"Enjoy your evening, Bella." Victoria said to Bella behind me.

The cage door closed and Victoria's heels walked the other way. I heard Bella calling me from behind but I kept rushing, getting to the dressing rooms and yanking the door open to a small bathroom, slamming it behind me.

I roared, slamming my fist into the mirror, hating my weak face and weak soul. My knuckles felt wet and stung a bit but I didn't care. I spun around to the cement wall on my right and pounded my fist against it again and again, growling and letting the pain sink in, calming me a bit.

Why did she do that? Victoria never went out of her way to fucking humble me like that, unless a client asked for it. And Bella…what she must think of me now…I closed my eyes and pictured a look of pure repulsion on her face and it killed me inside.

I roared out again, wanting to trash the whole bathroom.

"Edward!" she was calling, knocking on the door, "Edward, are you okay?"

It's Bella. I had to calm down. I had to hold my anger in…it was threatening to spill over.

"Go away Bella!" I felt my ass on the floor as my eyes looked at my shivering hand, it looks like my fingers aren't broken…they can all bend.

Victoria called me a DVD. Christ ! I should've told her to go fuck herself. Yea, hello. I'd be starving in a week. And Katie would never get the rest of her cosmetic surgeries. I had to stop being a girl and get my act together. I have to be good and not complain. She likes me better that way.

A few minutes later, I cleaned up my condom mess and zipped up my jeans, taking off my shirt and washing my hands, cleaning up the little cuts on my skin.

When I opened the door, Bella was waiting, sitting in my chair next to Emmett.

They had been talking and stopped when I came in.

I smiled and said, "Here you are."

"Edward…" she looked a little sad again but I didn't let her say anything else. I wanted to erase what Victoria did and pretend it never happened.

"Bella…" I stopped her, putting my fingers over her lips softly, "I told you…Victoria is very tough sometimes. She has to be. Let's just forget her and have a good night, okay?"

Her eyes looked a little wet but she made herself smile at me and agreed.

"Alright.", she said, looking down.

I lifted her chin with one finger and kissed her very, very, softly. Emmett just ignored us and ate his apples, the last of them.

"Thanks for not leaving." I said, head to head with her, closing my eyes, still trying to hide the shame in them.

"I told you…", she kissed the cleft in my chin, "You're never getting rid of me."

I kissed her again, holding her by the back of the head and Emmett turned, smiling at us and complaining, "You guys are making me sick already! Get a room!"

"Shut up." I slapped Emmett in the back of his head.

"Can I watch you put your makeup on?" she asked me now, looking excited about this.

She is so intelligent I knew that she was trying to do the same as I had done, put on a happy face and forget the last few minutes, because talking or thinking about it now would just be too unbearable.

But I knew it would come up in therapy tomorrow.

"Sure." I grinned.

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EPOV

Later on, after I had my pale white face done and my teeth were glued on, it was time to put my eyes in.

"It's gonna be evil vampire tonight." I told her, my voice a little weird from the teeth in my mouth.

"Cool." Bella grinned, a glint of pleasure in there, "That'll let you get out some pent up rage…"

I smiled back at her, knowing she meant well. And I put the red eyes in.

"Oh my GOD!", Bella looked afraid of me with these eyes in, "Those are WICKED, Edward!"

"Aren't they?" I bared my teeth and hissed at her. She let out a squeal, darting away from me as Emmett and I laughed.

Soon, Jasper and a few of the other dancers on for tonight trickled in, getting their assignments and dressing for it.

Bella was especially funny as she helped oil me up for tonight. At first she was a bit grossed out by the slimy texture of the oil, but then, as she rubbed it over my pecks and down my abs, and the scent of my flesh combined with the sweet smell of the oil lured her in…and she was very much enjoying herself by the time I turned and let her do my back.

The other guys were so jealous of me and they said so right in front of us, making Bella blush again. They were asking when she was going to do them. I said never, she's mine. And Bella blushed even deeper.

I just can't stop saying things like that. My big mouth is so stupid. I didn't want her thinking I wasn't going to let her go when our time was up. I would not become some whore stalker. I would let her go, smiling, thanking her for this brief, magical piece of her life…and I would never make her regret choosing me.

Bella went to meet her friends out in front as I got my shredded leather shorts on.

Victoria came in and I cast my eyes downward, grabbing the leash and clipping it into my collar.

It's times like this I'm glad I'm a good actor. This would take some work.

"Hi beautiful boy.", she lifted my chin with the leash and carefully placed a little kiss upon my mouth, not wanting to mess up my makeup.

I kissed back, smiling at her with all the sweetness I could muster.

She never apologized to me, for anything she did. We just acted as if it never happened. She liked it that way.

"Hi beautiful boss." I said back, hoping she'd think I wasn't holding any grudge.

Deep inside, I was fuming.

"Come, my wicked beast…", she yanked on my leash as she began to walk down that dark hallway, "Time to cross the line."

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Thanks you guys, for all your reviews! Love you all!

I'll post the next chapter quick!

Things get intense between Vic and Bella!

Love,

WinndSinger


	14. Cursed

14

BPOV

Rosalie, Alice and I were sitting at a different table than last week. We were guests of the club now and at a great table right near the stage and all our drinks were free. The waiters were taking very good care of us, too, but I just kept looking around for Edward.

I had told the girls the whole story already of Victoria and how she treated Edward. They were both very pissed off, too, but their second reactions were even more disturbing.

Rosalie took a sip of her drink and later said, "It's a shame, but, what are you gonna do about it? You can't change it. Places like this are owned by mobsters and stuff, you know. How do you know Victoria's not the daughter of some Soprano-type guy? You better just leave it alone."

And in response to her comments, Alice said, "He is really handsome and sweet and I know you like him, Bella…and that you're having relations with him…but…he sounds very…messed up. I mean, yes, he's a good study and all for your paper, but, if I were you…I'd tell him that you don't want to be involved in all this stuff. These are his problems, not yours. I mean, you can't possibly have any kind of future with this guy."

Rosalie looked around and danced to the music playing, watching out for dancers, but none were out on the floor yet.

I ignored their thoughts, not wanting to hear it…because these horrid thoughts had occurred to me, too. My head told me to get out of this relationship, to ask him to leave, to return to my life of school and friends and the Nick at Nite channel.

But whenever I close my eyes, I see him. Whenever I see his face, I want him. Whenever I kiss him, I want his love. I want his life. I want to die holding his hand. I don't see a whore, a toy, or a slave, or even a person damaged. I see Edward…and I love him…completely. There's no out for me. I'm a trapped slave now, too. Only I don't want to be free.

I know the realities and the cons of this situation. I know if we attempted a relationship, it would be painful and bittersweet and hard. But I want it anyway. I was once tired thinking of all we'd have to figure out and endure. Now, I want to start climbing those jagged mountains that stand in our way.

I want Victoria dead.

Nothing had ever made me feel more sick to my stomach in my life than the moment she ordered Edward to kneel in his cage like he was her dog. And the way he looked at me. I had to put a poker face on or I'd just make it worse for Edward. Even though I'd have loved it if he yelled at her or refused to obey her, I knew he wasn't ready for that yet, emotionally, financially, or otherwise. And she would hurt him, maybe even right in front of me. Then I would have to strangle the bitch.

In his heart, he is still her slave. It's a dark place, his place, as Victoria put it, but as he said, he is wanted there. He is secure there. And maybe, being Victoria's, a woman who is cold and cruel, is safe for him. He doesn't have to worry about falling in love again with her as his significant other, and then there is the financial help she seems to give him.

Alice is a master computer genius and she is majoring in accounting, too. Maybe sometime, if we ever got to that point, she could be helpful in checking out Victoria's financial dealings. If I had some dirt on her, maybe I could help Edward somehow. That might be a plan. Emmett was the first one here tonight. He must have a key. I wonder if he can be trusted in going against Victoria. Probably not. He belongs to her, too.

When Edward had gone into the bathroom, I heard glass breaking and I was freaking out that maybe Edward was hurting himself, especially after he yelled go away at me.

But Emmett told me to relax. He sat me down and told me Edward wouldn't kill himself. He has a daughter he's caring for. So that confirmed Edward's daughter was alright and alive and that made me very happy. He didn't tell me a lot of details, he said that wasn't his place, but he did tell me something else.

"Edward is never going to stop working here, Bella.", he said, not trying to sound threatening, but telling me straight, "Victoria has him and she won't let go. And she's not someone you fight against, Bella. Don't underestimate her. She's dangerous. Just…finish your time with him…have fun…and then forget him. This can get real bad if you try to take Edward away from her. She's not always mean to him like you saw just now. To him, usually, she's pretty nice. She throws him wild birthday parties, for God's sake! She even gave him a room here when he couldn't find his own place."

"He lives here?" I almost sneered the words.

God, how deep are this woman's claws into this man?

"Yea." Emmett said, "I used to live down there. It's not pretty, but it's a warm and clean room."

Note to self: sneak downstairs and check out his "room" before the night is over.

I pictured some dank, horrible basement with a cot in the corner and a cage on the other end of the room. I wonder if she has a water bowl with Edward's name carved on it down there.

The place was dark and red neon lights danced around the club as I downed my third drink of the night. I had ordered "something strong", as I didn't know a lot about liquor, and I was brought something clear and in a tiny little shot glass. It made my chest feel hot and tingly seconds after I swallowed it and I was now ordering another one.

"Hey, girl, take it easy there." Alice smiled, watching me open my notebook, "Oh, you brought that here again?!"

"I know you're both here to ogle naked men, but I am doing research." I smirked, writing a note on the paper before me, squinting, able to see a little as I wrote:

_Edward lives in a room below Fire. _

_Edward has a daughter, and she's alive – somewhere. He supports her financially. Chances of him quitting lifestyle slim._

_Accident happened. Tanya is dead. Injuries to child???_

_Victoria, boss, very possessive. Financial reasons ?? Emotional reasons??_

I stopped, I could hardly see what I was writing here and then I heard Victoria's voice above us, amplified by microphone.

"Welcome to Fire, LADIES!!", her voice greeted very enthusiastically, "Welcome! We have a great show prepared for you tonight, but first, I have to secure my vampire, if you'll all indulge me for a moment."

I noticed the women this time. They all spun around, towards the corner where Victoria had entered with Edward last time. I am guessing lots of these women are regulars, and maybe hoping that Edward will be the vampire tonight.

I didn't want to look but my eyes wanted to see Edward, even if it meant he was being dragged across the floor on a leash by that cunt. Wooo!!! These drinks, whatever they are, are kicking in! I feel so…violent.

The first time I saw Edward playing vampire, he was a "good vampire". Tonight he said he was playing "bad vampire." I was curious what the difference would be.

"Come on, you bad THING!!", she was struggling in the shadows, then a white light found them, illuminating the scene, "This is our vampire. Please don't touch him yet, until he's in his cage, girls. He is extremely dangerous and doesn't play well with others."

Victoria was trying to drag Edward by his neck into the club, only this time, he didn't look so weak and crawling along like last time.

He let out a savage roar and yanked back on the leash, showing his strength was greater than hers.

Victoria let out a scream and strained to keep her grip on the leash.

"NO!!", she shouted, "Stop it!! STOP !! You're gonna get it, BOY!!"

Hissing at her, Edward's red eyes looked filled with rage and he snapped his teeth at her, making her let the leash go and fall backwards as the bad vampire crouched on all fours, like a cougar, hearing the screams of the women around him, smelling the scent of all this human blood.

"No, quiet !! Everyone hold perfectly still!" Victoria said into her little microphone on her lapel, sitting on the floor before the newly freed vampire.

And every woman there was dead quiet. So was I, this was great. I hoped Edward got to slap that bitch with the leash now. That would be something I would love to see over and over. Why didn't I bring my camcorder?

Baring his teeth more, Edward was growling at Victoria, slowly moving around her, as if stalking his prey, waiting for his opening to strike.

"Easy…" Victoria tried speaking sweetly to the monster that surveyed her, "Easy, boy…don't be afraid…no one's going to hurt you."

He tilted his head to the side, and heard a woman behind him, at a table, say something loudly like, "I would hurt him!"

At this, Edward leapt up to his feet and jumped onto the surface of the woman's table, his bare feet on the black tablecloth. The woman who commented at him screamed and in a second, when the light found him again, he had this blonde woman in her late 30's on her knees, on top of the table. His hands clutched her arms at her sides and he was lapping at her neck, much to her delight. Then his hand grabbed her long hair, yanking her head back as he kept tasting the throat he had captured.

And here comes drink number six! I downed my shot glass in one big swig that time. Or was that drink five? Oh, who cares?

Suddenly, I felt something between my legs, a nice light vibration, extremely warm and soothing.

"Uuuuhhhh…" I let my pleasured moan spill right out of my mouth in front of Rosalie and Alice, but they weren't paying much attention to me. They were staring at Edward and laughing.

I felt my feet point towards each other under the table and my legs parted a bit, making the buzzing inside me feel even better and faster.

And then when I saw Edward licking that other woman's neck I felt even more aroused.

No matter what you see tonight, know this…that I fucked you in this tiny little cage and you're my bitch…

I heard his voice saying it to me and my hand gripped the edge of the table, then the tablecloth, twisting it tight into my reddened fingers, my mouth falling open as my tongue licked my top lip, my panties began to feel wet and warm.

"Mmmmm…." I was trying to hold my sounds inside me now. I tried leaning forwards, half laying on the table before me, but that only intensified the evil little bug inside me.

My eyes opened and found Edward again, and it looked like Victoria was trying to sneak up behind him now, with Emmett in a cop uniform at her side, twirling a nightstick while Victoria had a rope with a big loop on the end of it.

My mouth spoke up without my brain's permission.

"LOOK OUT, EDWARD!! BEHIND YOU!!" I heard myself scream out.

Alice and Rosalie's faces spun in my direction and laughed at that and on the floor, a sudden scuffle occurred.

Edward's head turned towards the two about to pounce on him and immediately Emmett dove upon the vampire, play hitting him over his back with the nightstick, the bad vampire howling and roaring in pain and protest.

At the same time, Victoria looped the rope around his neck and yanked it, slightly choking the half naked vampire on the floor below her.

"Good, got him!" Victoria announced, Emmett slapping handcuffs on Edward's hands, pinning them behind him as he struggled with all his might.

Emmett helped Victoria secure Edward into the cage, Victoria pulled the rope as Edward tried to crawl behind her on his knees, and whenever he resisted, Emmett would poke him or strike him in the back or ribs with his nightstick to get him moving again.

Once in the cage, Emmett removed his handcuffs and closed the door, an instant roaring Edward lunging at the bars, hissing and growling with no words.

"Thank you, officer." Victoria said to Emmett and he gave a nod of authority, taking his leave and earning a large round of applause.

"And you!" Victoria had her stick again and slammed it against the bars at Edward, "You ARE VERY, VERY BAD!!"

Edward hissed and roared, filled with rage and fight.

"No tasting the customers!! You know that !! You're gonna get it tonight, you bastard!!" Victoria warned, poking the stick in between the bars and hurting the vampire as he shouted out, frowning more.

"Sorry about that, ladies." Victoria fixed her hair a bit and straightened her skirt, "We will deal with him later tonight. I think severe punishment is in order, don't you, girls?!"

A loud chorus of howling and cheering and clapping erupted and then my little buzzing between my legs stopped abruptly, making me feel very empty inside.

"Ohhhh." I whined, not feeling it anymore, "So mean…"

He is bad.

The first dancer of the night was announced and a man I never saw before with long black hair and tan skin swung by a vine onto the stage…Tarzan. He was nice looking and a good dancer, but not my type. My eyes kept wandering to the dark little cage across the room from me. I couldn't see him very well and there were women over there, but I couldn't see what they were doing.

I hate this table. It's too far from the vampire cage. I guess they thought they were doing us a favor, letting us sit right by the stage, but last week's table was better. Edward reached out of his cage and swiped my notebook, that's how close he was to me then. I want to be back there.

Rosalie and Alice were dancing in their seats, liking the song Jungle Love that was playing, and appreciating the dancer onstage.

I received my sixth drink and swallowed it down…or was that my fifth? No…fourth…seventh? Oh, who cares?

I don't what this stuff is, but I'm liking it.

It seemed in a few seconds, the Tarzan guy was finished and gone. Oh well, I motioned to our waiter and ordered another drink for myself.

The lights grew a bit brighter in between dancers and my eyes darted over to the cage where the love of my life was trapped. I could see him better now and there was a woman there, a beautiful woman with long black hair in a braid, smiling and holding a cherry in her teeth, her hands held a belt that she might've taken off her own waist and was now securely behind Edward's head, holding his face between the bars as he licked the cherry, smiling, then his lips fully closed over it, kissing her mouth as he ate the cherry.

Don't get mad, don't get mad…it's all an act, don't forget that. That's what Edward told me…Oh, goody, my third drink is here! These are so smooth! Whatever they are.

"What are those, anyway?" Alice asked me, taking it and smelling it.

"Gimme!" I frowned, taking it back a little roughly, spilling a few drops.

"Bella's getting wasted tonight, that much is clear." Rosalie smirked, sipping her red drink.

"Oh, give her a break." Alice said, "She never gets drunk. And tonight can't be easy for her. Those women practically have their hands down Edward's pants."

"Where?!" I stood up, ready to tear hair out of women's heads but Rosalie yanked me down by the arm.

"Sit, girl.", she ordered, "Behave or I'll cut you off. You said you could handle this. Remember, being a psychiatrist calls for you to be there through some of the toughest times in a person's life? Remember your little speech on the phone today, Bella?"

"I know but…" I heard myself whimper, as tears came to my eyes, "I love him!"

"I knew it." Alice smiled and pointed at Rosalie, "I won that bet! Pay me."

Rosalie frowned at me and dug into her purse, giving Alice a twenty dollar bill.

"Did anyone hear me or is your bet more important than my broken heart?", I asked, feeling a little loopy.

"Oh, I'm sorry, you're right." Alice leaned over, putting her arm around me, laying her face on my hair, "Don't drink anymore, alright, Bella? You don't want Edward to see you that way."

Rosalie was across from me and tried to help now.

"It'll be okay, Bella." Rosalie said softly, "First love is always the toughest. You'll get over him, eventually. It takes a little time, but we'll be there for you."

"I don't want to get over him." I held my head in my hands.

"Let's change the subject, Alice…" Rosalie made a cutting motion across her throat, shaking her head.

And then, came a very fast vibration between my legs. I guess Edward peeked over at me and saw my head in my hands.

"UUUGGHHHH!!!" I flew back into my chair, parting my legs and wrapping my feet around the rungs of my chair under the tablecloth. A couple of little gasps escaped me and then I remembered Rosalie and Alice.

"Are you alright?" Alice asked, concerned, "Do you want to throw up or something?"

I shook my head, whimpering, "No."

SWEET FUCK, the thing is laying to the side a bit now inside me and is jerking with insane speed right at an angle that is sparking feelings in me I never knew I had. My body feels like it's coming to life for the first time! My panties are so wet. I want to rub my pussy against the bars of that god damned vampire cage now!! And I don't care who sees it! If my father were here, I wouldn't care!

"Please…wait…" I was panting and babbling incoherently and I knew it. My head was laying backwards and then it was down on the table, my fists wringing my napkin so tight, I thought the red dye would leak out of it.

"Let her rest a minute." Rosalie's voice said across from me and as the room darkened a bit, I stuck the napkin in between my teeth, biting down hard as a strangled cry melted into it's soft cloth gag. I was growling a little as I came, hiding it pretty well, I thought.

The waiter came over and placed another drink down next to me and leaned down, speaking into my ear.

"Edward sent me a message for you, Bella.", his deep, sensual voice informed, "He says everyone knows you're coming and he's so proud of his little slut."

I picked my head up, daring to look at him with the napkin in my teeth as the dark haired waiter chuckled.

"You are a cute one.", he said, dotting my nose with his finger as he departed the table, vanishing into the blackness.

At that I felt the buzzing cease and again, I felt cheated and like stone again.

My mouth opened in disappointment and the napkin fell out of it, and I saw Edward laughing at me from his little round cell, puckering his lips and kissing the air as he stared at me, looking very pleased with himself.

I couldn't help but smile back at the bastard.

As the night went on, Rosalie and Alice let me talk some more about my feelings for Edward. I wasn't drunk, just slightly buzzed (besides the vibrator buzz) and very talkative. I wasn't telling secrets about Edward's life to them, only things like:

"_Even at school, I can smell him on my clothes."_

"_His fucking eyes…are the most beautiful eyes in the world. Don't you think?"_

"_His little butt is so perfect and muscular…but soft, too…and not one ugly hair on the man's whole body!"_

"_I love falling sleep with his face on my chest…and stomach…"_

"_His body feels so solid and hot behind me when he does the spoon position with me. And he kisses my shoulder blades…soooo soft. His lips are like hot water."_

"_He has this amazing singing voice…he sang me to sleep once, Alice! How can I go back to falling asleep alone now?"_

I didn't even pay attention to the dancers onstage. I can't even see other men anymore.

I am doomed. My heart was sure to be broken very soon. It's inevitable, as much as the end of our time together.

"Alright, ladies, it's time to punish our vampire!", Victoria announced and the lights turned up, revealing the cage and my Edward inside it, all alone.

Women went running from their tables to the cage and quickly formed a line, like last week.

Rosalie almost got up but I glared at her and felt my teeth sneering at her.

"I was just going to go to the ladies' room!", she smiled, widening her eyes at me, "Jeez!!"

"I'll watch her.", Alice held my hand, saying, "Don't even look over there, Bella, it's disgusting what these women enjoy."

LASH. "RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!", I heard Edward roar and tears came to my eyes.

My legs quivered and wanted to stand up as the smacks of the whip striking Edward's flesh stabbed me like knives, not to mention the yells and panting he was doing. He truly sounded like he was in pain. I wondered if Edward lied to me about the whip not hurting him really.

"They're hurting him!" I clutched my hair and cried a little, trying to block the sounds out.

Alice stroked my hair and said, "No, no. It's okay. He's alright. See, he's kissing them afterwards. And look, he just smiled a little. It is an act."

And then, like magic…the buzzer between my legs began again, starting very low and timidly.

I rested my cheeks on my hands and closed my eyes, concentrating on only what the little ball inside me was saying.

Edward wants you to feel pleasure now…be happy…don't you want to be happy, Bella?…such a good girl…I want to see that slut I've been fucking tonight…lay back….you're my little bitch…count off backwards, from five to one…

The speed began to increase…and then increase a little more…and a little more…blurs of Edward being whipped with his hands up in the cuffs over his head both bothered me…and at other times, excited me.

I had little mini-orgasms before the huge one that arrived when a woman in the cage poured her drink over Edward's back and then lashed at it with the whip, the wet splashes mixing with the liquid slaps of the leather. Edward roared louder that time and I came so hard, biting down my teeth in complete mute lust, my legs under the table convulsing and wide apart, hidden from view.

After that, the buzzer was working hard and was painful now to the sensitive tissue inside me…I took the pain, feeling somehow connected with Edward in that as he was nearly finished taking his punishment.

A tear fell out of my eye and I let it travel beautifully and torturously slowly down the entire length of my face. Alice and Rosalie were watching Edward, too, and talking to each other at the moment, and I was so thankful to have that little chunk of time to myself, unwilling to explain it to any outsider.

And then, the little torment going on inside my pussy ended. My body went limp as if I were a puppet and someone had just cut the strings.

I let my dizzy eyes focus as Victoria's voice was informing the crowd of her vampire's reluctance to speak to humans. And then she was whipping him again, asking him to promise not to kill any of her mortal clientele.

It was agonizing, waiting to hear his voice and then it was in the air, its rich, deep tone stroked me mentally as he said, "I promise."

And all the sick bitches in the place cheered and howled at him, racing over to his cage again for some groping, kissing, and being bitten by the evil vampire.

Edward had mercy on me during this and left the vibrator off, giving me time to recover and order another drink. I think this one is my fourth one? My eighth one? I don't care.

Wow, that tastes good! Whatever it is.

Rosalie and Alice were kind enough not to go to the vampire cage and I was happy about that. I'd hate to sit in class with them, seeing the empty bald spots in their heads, knowing I tore that hair out with my bare hands. After all, they are my best friends. I would feel badly about that later.

I wanted to be the last woman on line and be able to pay Victoria a huge obscene amount of money and enter the cage alone, taking off my clothes very slowly as Edward watched me, surprise and confusion in his eyes.

Then I would leap up into his arms and wrap my legs around his pelvis, making him take me right there, as he had earlier, only now I wanted all these sick women watching it, seeing that he was mine and mine alone. And that he wanted me, for real, unlike the rest of them.

But Rosalie and Alice babysat me and didn't allow me to make a complete fool of myself. They kept me at our table until, after five eternities passed by, Edward's vampire act was over and Victoria grabbed him by the leash.

"Say good night to the nice ladies, boy.", Victoria smiled and stroked Edward.

"Good night, beautiful ladies.", the dark vampire's voice was now well behaved and seductive, earning him a nice round of applause as Victoria led him away on his hands and knees.

"I want to kill that bitch." I heard myself say to my friends.

"Alright, I think Bella's done drinking tonight." Alice snickered, looking at Rosalie.

EPOV

Once back in the dressing room, Victoria let go of my leash and smirked at me.

"Good boy, Edward.", she said approvingly, touching my hair, "You were very good tonight."

"Thanks Victoria.", I said, giving her a little smile.

I wanted to get cleaned up so I could get back on the floor and keep an eye on Bella. I know her friends are with her, but I still wanted to make sure she was doing alright. I know she hated seeing me whipped and I did notice her drinking out of a shot glass. I'd check with her waiter and see what they were giving her.

"You take the floor after this, okay?", Victoria asked, running a hand through her long mane of hair.

This meant that I would not be serving drinks. I would just wear a g-string and go from table to table, lap dancing and being available for whatever the tables wanted. She was actually trying to be nice I thought, relieving me of the waiter duties, but then she said, "And I want you in my office at 11."

Oh no. Not tonight of all nights, please…

"Umm…Victoria?" I asked with a small voice as she was about to turn away from me.

"Yes?", she looked a bit confused. I never question her.

"Bella is here tonight.", I tried to hint at my meaning.

"Yes, I know, we talked, she seems very cute. What's your point?", she raised a brow, smiling.

"Well, I just thought…", I cleared my throat, "She has paid for me to belong to her for two weeks. I don't want to hurt the arrangement…you know…by…being with you right under her nose. It might not be…good for business."

I was full of shit and I knew it. The truth is, I didn't want to hurt Bella by doing Victoria upstairs mere hours after I did her in my cage. And I didn't want to lie to her, either about it afterwards. And more plainly, I didn't want to fuck Victoria tonight.

Victoria scoffed and smiled at me. I am dead.

"Edward…", she spoke sweetly to me, "Who is in charge?"

"You are." I said with no disdain in my voice.

"Good.", she frowned, "Eleven."

She left and I growled internally, going to my chair in front of my mirror and finally letting it out, "Fuck."

After I washed the makeup off and put on my red g-string I walked up to the red line and stood there, staring at it for a minute.

I saw a flash of myself walking out of our apartment, leaving Tanya behind. If only there was a red line across that doorway. I would've stayed. But it was an invisible, cruel line that I crossed, because of my stupid pride, that brought me here and now, would keep me here. I could never go back over it and erase my mistakes.

I crossed the red line and became smiling, easy whore again, going up to the first table I reached. Across the club, I could faintly make out Bella's silhouette in the black and red shadows of the air as I felt hands clutch my ass and more than one pair of lips on my chest and back as I held the chair behind the woman I was grinding against.

It used to be so easy to become the whore and forget my life and myself…I even used to like becoming this personality who had no pain and no family, no worries. Only now my mind was in pain. Crossing that line meant I was not a Daddy anymore, crossing that line meant I was not a husband anymore, crossing that line meant I wasn't Bella's man anymore.

I found myself avoiding Bella's whole side of the room but my eyes kept finding her every so often, getting her brave smile, her concerned eyes if I was captured by a particularly horny or drunk table of women.

I wished I could keep giving her orgasms from across the room, but in this "outfit" there was no way I could hide even that little controller.

Several times I thought I'd go to her table and dance for them but then decided against it. If Rosalie and Alice started groping me and touching me, that would be very hard for Bella to handle. So I let Emmett and Jasper have their table and the girls seemed to enjoy them very, very much. Except for Bella. She smiled and laughed at my friends as they flaunted themselves in her direction, but she just tipped them and blushed and allowed her friends to do the touching.

The ladies I serviced seemed very pleased with me and I let them do anything they liked to me. Frankencock was still working, despite the conflicts battling in my head and that both relieved and disgusted me at the same time.

God, I wish I was normal again.

Please don't let me have that nightmare tonight, that recurring one where I'm an old, wrinkled stripper and my grown up daughter is stuffing twenties in my g-string…please, Satan…take a night off and spare me that one tonight.

Finally, I was on a break and I snuck my way over to Bella's table.

"Hi girls!", I greeted with the utmost friendly voice, as if I didn't have a worry in the world.

"HI!" a happy trio of voices sang back to me.

"Is it alright if I sit with you for a second?" I asked, "I'm on a break."

"Sure." Rosalie and Alice went to move aside so I could sit next to them. Bella was smiling at me, but looked a little tired and tense to me. I wasn't surprised, though. I should've thought what this night would do to her. But I was just thinking of me, wanting her with me all the time now.

I sat at the head of the table, beside Bella and Alice, hoping Rosalie took no offense. But I had flirted with Rosalie last week, right before Bella's eyes, and I didn't want to do that again now, even in the slightest way.

Rosalie drew me in at the beginning because she's a Barbie doll. Fun, young, rich Daddy, no complications, no strings. Barbie dolls had lots of boyfriends and didn't tend to become too attached to men like me. We were fun, naughty exercise. So I had flirted with her shamelessly, figuring she would want me privately.

But then Bella shocked the hell out of me and ordered me for herself. At first I laughed. It was a rare person who could shock me. But then I thought, this could be very interesting, conquering the brainy notebook girl. And it amused me even more when I asked her to follow me and she nearly fainted.

Her innocence sucked me right into her web.

"How're you doing?" I asked them all, "Are you having a good time?"

"Oh, God yes!", Rosalie gushed, not giving Alice a chance to speak yet, "Edward, Edward….who is that guy?"

She pointed, smiling at Emmett, who was doing push ups on a table on top of an older woman.

"That's Emmett." I informed pleasantly.

"Emmett?" Rosalie and Alice both laughed at his unusual name. I grinned with them, then I looked at Bella. She was drinking out of her shot glass.

"Yep." I said and then Alice said she really liked Jasper, pointing him out to me. And then they thought the name Emmett was tame compared to Jasper.

"You want their numbers?" I asked like a little devil, "They don't have girlfriends."

Both girls laughed with glee as I said, "Give me a pen and paper."

Normally, I wouldn't do this, but I couldn't see my buds being mad at me for hooking them up with two hot little girls.

I wrote their names and numbers down quickly and handed it back to Alice.

"Now you guys have to do something for me.", I raised a brow and Alice and Rosalie both turned into two deer caught in the headlights.

"What?", Rosalie asked, sparkling.

"Bella needs a girls' day out tomorrow, shopping.", I informed, "I'll give you $2,000 dollars and I am hiring you two as personal shoppers. Sexy underwear, thongs, leather, lace, the works. Bella's body is Disneyland to me and I want to dress it up a little."

"I'm on it!", Alice was thrilled to be my new employee and Rosalie looked happy, too. Bella turned red and smirked at me, finishing her drink.

I couldn't stand it anymore and I snatched the glass out of her hand.

"And what are _you_ drinking, little girl?" I feigned playfulness, smelling it then tasting it, "RUM?"

"Is that what it is?", she smiled and leaned towards me, kissing me hard as her hands grabbed my cheeks. I kissed her back, closing my eyes but I didn't like tasting alcohol on Bella's lips. That wasn't her. Also, I didn't want her sick tomorrow. I wanted her at the mall, shopping for the day so I could go to my appointment without worrying about her.

"Baby, please, please don't drink anymore, okay?" I asked her, "Why don't you let the girls take you home so you could sleep a little? I'll be along in a few hours."

"No!", she clung to my neck with her arms, "I want to be with YOU. I have 9 more days…I want you…"

She was holding me tighter and I looked over into Alice's sad looking eyes.

"Please don't let her have anymore." I said, almost like a question to her, "I'll get her a large coffee."

"Okay. Sorry, Edward." Alice cringed, feeling badly about this, "This was very hard for her, you know…watching you tonight."

"I know. It's my fault." I admitted, standing up as her arms slipped off of me, "I'll be right back, Bella. Stay here, okay? I'm getting you something better to drink."

I went to the bar and asked Marie to give me a coffee. Quickly, I got through the crowds and placed it in front of Bella.

She wasn't falling down drunk, but she was slightly intoxicated. Enough to say things she wouldn't normally say, to act on her impulses without thinking it through…and that was very dangerous, especially here.

I sat there for a few minutes and I had her drink the coffee. She listened to me, kissing me and holding me very affectionately as I held her to me with one arm, talking to Rosalie and Alice about my friends who they seemed very interested in.

I even suggested maybe they'd go to the mall with them tomorrow. They could help give their opinions on what the girls were buying for my Bella.

The waiter, Bo, came over to the table and saw me there, asking if we wanted anything else. I ordered Bella another coffee and then Bo leaned in and said to me, "Victoria's waiting for you. In the Wet Room. She said you're late."

FUCK! Well, it's not like I'm able to wear a watch around here. I was usually early for my meetings with Victoria. And no doubt she saw me down here holding Bella while I should've been working. I am so fucked.

"Can you take care of Bella for a little while?" I asked, "I have a meeting with my boss."

"Sure, Edward." Rosalie smiled at me.

"I'll be back, sweetie." I kissed Bella's lips and she let me go, stroking my face before I slipped away.

"Okay.", Bella grinned at me as I hurried down the hallways that led to the private rooms.

I knew the rooms by heart and got to the red door that said "WET" across it. I knocked and waited a second.

"Come in.", Victoria's voice said, not sounding thrilled.

I opened the door and closed it right behind me. It had been awhile since I'd been in this room. The lights were low and red and the white carpet was warm and luxuriously delicate under my bare feet and a few feet away the floor became three stairs that led down into a bubbling, steaming hot tub.

Victoria was there, drinking a glass of red wine and she placed it down at her side, looking at her watch on the floor outside of the tub.

"11:13pm", she said with a malicious tone of voice.

My face winced as if she'd slapped me.

"I'm sorry, Victoria…there was…"

"Have I ever made you wait for anything, Edward?", she asked, not looking at me, "Maybe I should make the hospital wait for their next payment. And get around to it when I _feel_ like it."

"I'm sorry, Victoria, honestly, I didn't mean to make you wait." I tried to sound sorry, but it came out like pure begging.

"Take off your clothes and get in here.", she still sounded highly pissed.

I quickly pulled off the red g-string and let it hit the floor, climbing into the very hot bubbles. She was naked also but I already knew that she would be.

"I'm sorry, Victoria…please…", I said, my eyes lifting to her stern, emotionless gaze, "Please don't do that, with the hospital. I'm sorry. I won't be late again."

"Shut up, Edward.", she snapped.

I sat there and waited, looking down at the water until she spoke again.

"I saw you with that girl", she informed, "Kissing, hugging…helping her drink her little coffee…you two make quite the cute couple."

"She had a little too much to drink, that's all.", I made eye contact with her again and wished I hadn't. She looked very angry.

"You know you have Raven tomorrow, right?", Victoria reminded.

"Yes, Victoria.", I answered, as if I could forget.

"Call me when you're done there. You should leave at 5pm.", she informed, "If I don't get a call from you, I will contact her."

"Thank you, Victoria.", I kept my eyes away from hers.

"Let's hope I don't forget about _you_ and make _you_ wait.", she threatened.

"Yes, Victoria.", I said, leaving emotion out of my voice.

"Did that girl get my message earlier?", she asked.

"I believe so.", I heard a little bitterness creep into my voice, "It wasn't very hard to decode."

"Do you have a problem with me telling your little college girl the facts of life, Edward?", she smiled a bit.

"No, Victoria.", I said, not meaning it.

"I think you do.", she chuckled, "I saw your face when I told you to kneel and again when I told you to stand up. You didn't like that one little bit, in front of your girlfriend, did you?"

"She's not into all this, Victoria.", I explained, "She's a normal girl. This slave stuff scares her."

"Slave stuff?", she asked loudly.

Oh Jesus Christ, I am dead.

"This is not slave stuff, EDWARD!", she shouted, "You are my slave! All the nights you knelt in that cage and did it with a smile and after five days with this GIRL you give me attitude! I'm glad you're with Raven tomorrow, I told her to wear you out. You are in need of a little attitude adjustment."

"Yes, Victoria.", I accepted this but what came next almost tore me up.

"I think you're done with that girl.", she took a sip of her wine, "You can tell her goodbye tonight. And when you leave Raven's, bring your ass back here because you have a few days of shit coming your way."

"Victoria, please don't do that!", I felt sick, "Please, I'll do anything you say. She paid for two weeks, it's not right to cancel now."

"And what's with that note you left on my desk, asking for next week off?", she asked, "Is that a practical joke?"

"We haven't had a lot of time together, she goes to classes during the day, I thought, for the last few days, it would be nice to take her out a little.", I answered honestly, knowing she'd never go for it.

"Do you have feelings for this girl, Edward?", she sneered, her eyes cruel.

"No, no!", I lied, having to, "She's just a nice girl. She goes to college, I figured she could tell her friends about us and we could get more business. Lots of those girls have rich families."

"Leave the business shit to me, Edward.", she said, "You weren't hired for your brains."

"I know, Victoria."

She didn't talk for a long time but then said, "Alright, Edward. You have been very good up til now, so here's the deal. You finish the rest of your time with this girl, you can have the week free with her. You will still see Raven tomorrow. But then, after it's over with this Bella, there are no more young girls for you anymore. No more virgins, no more college trash. And I don't want to ever hear the name of Bella Swan again. I don't want you hanging out with her, calling her, nothing. And I'll know if you do. And Edward, if you try to sneak behind my back and see her anyway, I will call her father in Forks. I will inform her college of all this, and maybe one night she can see the dungeon downstairs. And if all else fails, maybe one night she'll have a terrible accident. You know how many college girls overdose while they're partying at a club like this? It happens all the time. Cops don't even yawn at that."

"No, don't.", I almost got angry and then toned that right down, using my meeker voice, "Please…I don't feel anything for her, I told you…she's just a job. I won't ever see her again after it's done. I swear, Victoria."

"We'll see, won't we?", she asked, "We haven't had a game of mermaid for awhile, have we?"

"No, Victoria." I answered, glad at least for having the rest of my time with Bella.

I wasn't so thrilled that Victoria felt she needed to threaten Bella, but maybe she did see somehow when I was with Bella, how deeply my feelings ran for her. It had never happened before so this was my first time hearing threats out of my boss's mouth.

But I kept my anger in check. I wouldn't let Bella cross paths with Victoria again and when the job was over, I would stay away from Bella. She didn't need me in her life and I didn't belong there. Sure, I would be sad for a long time after Bella was gone, but I would have Victoria's week of punishment to cleanse me. I would never work with young girls again and that was alright with me. They would probably just remind me of Bella anyway. I didn't want any other young girls.

"Breathe underwater, my sweet little mermaid…", she kissed my lips and grabbed my hair, forcing my head under the hot water, between her legs. They wrapped around my neck, holding me there underwater as I licked and nibbled and tried to hold my breath all at the same time.

My body was laying down on my chest , my feet poking out of the water a bit behind me as I tried to use as little oxygen as possible. I held out as long as I could, and felt bubbles of air from my mouth rising past my eyes to the surface. But she wouldn't see them amongst all the other bubbles in the tub.

I held very still, hopeful she would let me up soon as the last of my air ran out. Long ago, I used to kick and struggle in the water and that made her very angry. Moving harder uses up more oxygen. I nibbled her clit with the last of my air and a few seconds later, her hand grabbed my hair and jerked me up.

I was coughing as soon as I gulped air and her mouth was all over mine, stealing the little gasps of air I was able to get.

I moaned and fought to breathe as she shoved her tongue into my mouth and refused to let me have any air right now. My tongue tried to wrestle back against hers but I heard myself panting for release.

"Again.", she said, shoving my head back under before I could recover from the first time and I wildly moved my tongue up and down her lips now, hoping to please her enough so she'd let me breathe.

This is play for Victoria, but the message is clear. She even controls my every breath and she likes breath play a lot. She loves hearing me choking for air, my hair soaking wet and over my eyes as she shoves my face back down. Most of all, she loves it when I can't take anymore and I start begging for her mercy. But that won't be for awhile now. I can hold out for about 30 minutes of this, off and on.

If this would cheer her up and get her off Bella's case for tonight, that was fine with me.

Later, after I was a heaving, panting, mindless thing, she told me to sit on the floor of the tub and she sat on top of me, riding me and dunking me at the same time.

She would have me lay flat down under the water as she fucked me, her hands over my lower neck to prevent me from sitting up, then, when she would allow me air, she'd curl her hands behind my neck, lifting me up and the depth of the water was just enough so if I looked straight up to the ceiling, my nose and mouth could find air a sliver above the bubbles.

I would choke and cough up little bits of water as she bounced up and down on me, and then I was shoved backwards once more.

"Who owns you, Edward?", she would ask when my face was out of the water, and I would respond, "You do, Victoria."

Another time, she'd ask, "Who do you answer to, Edward?"

Same answer, "To you, Victoria."

This went on the whole time she fucked me and at last, she was screaming and coming and so was I.

"Stay here for ten more minutes.", she demanded as she stepped out and put a robe on, her hair still dry, "Don't ever forget your place, Edward. If you don't please me, you know Raven would love to buy you as her own personal slave. She's offered me millions of dollars, you know. She has a thing for you. I told her, I'm not through with you yet. Maybe in a few years, when you're a bit older, and not so young anymore…maybe then she can have you. So you better remember how good you have it with me, Edward."

"Yes, Victoria." I panted a little, trying to catch my breath, kneeling on the tub floor as I was trained to.

The thought of belonging to Raven 24/7 was enough to make my dick shrivel up. But I tried to wear a brave face.

"Have a nice weekend, Edward.", she kissed her lips into the air at me, "Come back ready to accept your punishment respectfully."

"Yes, Victoria.", I answered before she slammed the door closed.

BPOV

I was starting to sober up a little after my second cup of coffee but my mouth was still saying things I didn't want it to.

"Where is Edward?" I kept asking Rosalie and Alice as they helped me look around the club from our table.

I had been asking this question for about a half hour now.

"I don't know." Alice didn't see him either, "He said he had a meeting with…his boss."

Rosalie frowned at me and said, "Bella…just leave it alone. He'll be back when he gets back."

Then I spotted Victoria coming across the club floor wearing a plush, white robe, and happily bouncing up the stairs to her office.

"BITCH!" I leapt up, knowing full well what she was just doing and who she was doing it with.

Victoria was already in her office with the door closed so she didn't hear me, but even my two friends couldn't make me sit down now.

"Bella, stop it!", Rosalie stood in front of me across the table, "You're going to start some shit here that's gonna get you hurt, do you want that?"

"I don't CARE!", I yelled, enraged, tears in my eyes, charging towards the stairs that led to Victoria's office.

"BELLA NO!", Alice and Rosalie tried to grab me but they were useless against my new drunken temper tantrum.

"Get off me!!" I screamed as I made my slow way up the stairs as they tried to block me and tackle me from behind.

"Go get EMMETT!" I heard Alice scream and then I felt Rosalie let me go and run down the stairs.

Finally, I was at the bitch's door and banging on it, yelling, "LET ME IN, YOU FUCKING WHORE!!"

"Oh my GOD!", Alice squealed, not abandoning me but not thrilled about seeing Victoria answer.

I heard the wench laugh in there and she said cool as a cucumber, "Come in."

Okay, so she's not afraid of me. That's not good.

But I only had partial control over my mouth and it was like I could see myself talking and moving, and couldn't do much to stop it or say which way I wanted myself to go.

I shoved the door open after turning the knob and she was sitting there, at her desk, in the robe, looking very relaxed and content.

"Oh, Bella.", she smiled, "What's on your mind, dear?"

"Don't dear me, bitch, I want your ASS!!" my voice roared.

Alice injected and stood in front of me, her hands up a bit, saying, "She is very drunk, don't get offended by anything she says! She's really very shy! She just had too much Rum tonight."

"Shut up, Alice!" I shoved her aside, taking a step closer, "I want you to stop treating Edward the way you do, I want you to let him go – you DON'T own him, no matter what you've made him believe, and I want you OUT OF HIS FUCKING LIFE!! I can't believe you'd treat someone as special as him like a piece of shit the way you do…but I won't allow it, you SKAG!! And if I have to beat your ass, I will. Edward _**means**_ something to _me_ and I won't let you hurt him anymore!"

"First of all, you are drunk.", she grinned, not afraid at all, "Second, I do own Edward, and if you don't believe me, I can call him in here right now to tell you so himself. I can tell him to look right at you and tell you that you mean nothing to him."

I just stood there, seething, staring her down like a rabid dog. I want to tear her eyes out.

"He will come right in here and I can tell him to choose between you and I. And if you think he won't pick me, you are sadly fucking mistaken. If I tell him to, he will come in here, strip off his clothes and tell me how much he worships me most while fucking me right here in front of you. That should sober you up."

She put her finger on her pager, saying, "This is my button to Edward. Shall I call him, Bella?"

Alice muttered to me, "No, Bella. Let's just get out of here, please?"

All the fight and violence I had died instantly, just imagining that really happening made me want to throw up…and I knew that Edward would choose her. Then I realized, it didn't matter if I kicked Victoria's ass, although it would be sweet to experience it. Edward would have to be the one to free himself from her clutches…only he could save himself. That's where Dr. Bella comes in. I would have to do some work on him this week.

She hit the button and a beep sounded. My face felt ice cold as Edward's voice answered, "Yes, Victoria?"

Victoria raised a brow at me, waiting for my answer before she summoned him up here to humiliate me and him, too.

Alice said, "Bella, stop. She's going to do it. Let's get out of here."

"Victoria?", Edward's voice asked, hearing Alice in the background.

I was stupid and out of control and I knew tomorrow I'd regret it, but…

"YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!", I leapt over her desk and grabbed her witchy curled hair and pulled it. I was kneeling on the desktop and clawing my fists in the bitch's hair.

"BELLA!! NO!!" I heard Edward's voice on the intercom and then nothing. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs and Victoria's voice roaring out, mad as hell.

Before I could really do anything to hurt Victoria, a large pair of arms scooped me up and laid me over his shoulder. I was kicking and screaming obscenities at her, trying to see her. She was holding a dagger in her hand now, something she got out of the desk right before whoever grabbed me removed me from her.

I realized it was Emmett holding me as I struggled and Rosalie was yelling at Victoria to drop the fucking knife, who did she think she was?!

"NOOO!!", I could hear Edward's voice in the far distance, approaching up the stairs.

"Bring her over here, Emmett." Victoria stood, her sharp knife ready.

"Victoria, don't!", Emmett held a hand up, trying to keep the peace, "She's drunk, she's just a kid, what does she know about us?"

"I'm not gonna kill her." Victoria frowned, "I just want to give her a nice scar across the face to remember me by."

"WOAH!!" Edward flew in between Emmett and Victoria, my friends standing there at his side, too, "What the hell is going on?!"

Alice informed Edward, "Bella got nuts and went to kick Victoria's ass and now Victoria wants to slice her across the face!"

"Put me DOWN!" I screamed, my rational side watching helplessly wished I would shut up. I had now stupidly put my friends, Emmett, and Edward all in danger against the psycho with the knife.

"Victoria…" Edward said, wearing no shirt and a pair of jeans, his hair damp, "I'll take her out of here, please? Don't hurt her, Victoria. I won't stand by and let you do that. I'll _have_ to stop you."

"Fine.", Victoria sneered, knowing Edward was being true to his word, "And make it six days with me when you get back."

"Yes, Victoria. Thank you.", he replied, turning to Emmett, "Give her to me _now_."

"Okay, man, here." Emmett said gently, as Edward took me out of his arms and carried me quickly down the stairs, through the club and kicking the back door open, outside into the pouring rain.

Then I heard Edward muttering as he walked, carrying me, "Stupid, stupid, stupid!!!"

Is he actually angry at me?! Now I was fucking mad, too.

"Put me down!" I screamed, "Let go of ME!!"

I kicked and struggled enough that he let me down and I shoved him away, crying, glad the violent descending rain was soaking us and hiding my tears.

"You're so fucking lucky that she let me take you out of there!!" Edward was shouting at me, "Are you INSANE, BELLA?! Do you KNOW WHAT SHE COULD'VE DONE TO YOU?! She could've KILLED YOU!"

"I'm not afraid of her, I'm not her SLAVE!!", I shrieked back at him, "I can say or do any damn thing I please!! I don't have to answer 'YES VICTORIA' every time that bitch speaks!!"

I started walking away from him, not sure where I was even going or how the hell I was going to leave him behind.

"What do you WANT from ME?!" Edward was following me, yelling over the rain, "Don't YOU THINK I WANT TO SAY NO TO HER?! DO YOU THINK I LIKE KNEELING DOWN IN FRONT OF YOU WHEN SHE SAYS TO?! I DON'T! I HATE IT! BUT THIS IS MY LIFE, BELLA!! I CAN'T CHANGE IT FOR YOU!!"

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE, EDWARD!!" I screamed, sobbing as I did, "I don't want you here, I don't want you selling yourself to anyone!! I want you with me!! Please, just come with me and don't ever come back here again! Please, I'm begging you, Edward!! I'll help you find a good job and you can stay with me, at my place! Anything is better than THIS!"

I grabbed his hands and pulled him with me but he wasn't following me, he was stuck firmly in place on the street.

"I can't, Bella!" he shouted, louder than the rain, "I want to…God, how I want to…but it'll never work, Bella! I'm not a broken doll you can fix!!"

"I'm not trying to fix you, EDWARD, I LOVE YOU!!", I shouted and the rational side of me fell over dead instantly. But the buzzed part of me stood her ground, frowning at him, unafraid of the outcome of my admission.

He just stood there, like a porcelain statue with living eyes, soaked by the cold rain. I couldn't think of anything else to say, I just stood there, staring at him.

His voice full of pain and torment, he said, "I love you, too, Bella. I don't want to, but I do. But that's why it can never work out. Everything I love dies or fades away. I'm cursed, Bella. And I told you not to love me. It'll just make the end harder for both of us."

"Well, TOO BAD EDWARD!" I sobbed, "Because I do love you! And if that means I'm cursed, too, then I'm cursed!! I want to be cursed!! I want to be everything you are! And if it means I have to become Victoria's slave, too, to be chained by your side, then I'll do it!"

"You don't know what you're saying.", he informed calmly, "You're drunk, Bella."

"No, I'm not!" I shouted, "I know what I'm saying. I love you!"

And then, a second later, I said it very softly, like a whisper as I saw him coming closer to me, nose to nose almost, "I love you."

The cold rain on my body was making me feel woozy and my head was dizzy, too…and then he kissed me, his cold, wet, rain lips moving against mine felt like a miracle to me and then the whole world seemed to tilt sideways.

"Ooops." Edward chuckled, catching me in his strong arms before I fell and he swept me up into his arms, bridal style, walking down the street with me, "Gravity, thou are a heartless bitch…"

"I've got you, fair Bella.", he informed, his voice caring now, "You crazy thing, you."

Then he muttered to himself, amused, repeating my words, "Chained together side by side…."

"I am not drunk, I mean it, Edward!" I said.

"Well, I hate to break it to you, but I don't think Victoria will buy you _now_…" he teased, "You called her a fucking bitch and pulled her hair. Doms don't really like that type of behavior in their slaves."

"Oh, shut up Edward…" I whined, trying to smile, my head starting to ache.

"And also, you're not very quiet.", Edward went on, "Slaves must be quiet and not talk too much. Speak when spoken to, you ever heard of that?"

"Enough, okay, I know…" I complained, then looked around as we were moving down the street, "Where are we going?"

"Home.", he answered, "And to bed."

"But, I thought you said…the roof…", I clearly sounded disappointed.

Edward's loud booming laugh erupted instantly, "You are just insatiable, aren't you, Dr. Bella? What have I done to you?"

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See next chapter soon!

Let me know if you liked this!

Love, WinndSinger


	15. Raven's Nest

15

Notes: Hey, you guys!! Sorry I haven't written for a couple days, my cute little husband dragged me off for a nice romantic weekend so it's all his fault that I had to leave sweet, sad whore Edward alone for 3 days! I told him he has to deal with your wrath, and that didn't seem to scare him, so I guess he's real brave, too.

PS – Yes, Big Bang Theory fans! Good one! I love that line – Gravity, thou art a heartless bitch! I'm glad there are other nerd lovers out there besides me!

Anyway, sorry and I'm back now and I hope you like this next chapter!!

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BPOV

I can still feel the icy rain pelting down over my breasts as my back arched all the way up, lines of water flowing backwards across my face as he thrust inside me again.

As if on cue, the lightning raged, revealing the city to my eyes as the harsh thunder shouted at us, making its anger known at the path we were taking as we fucked tirelessly on my rooftop, unashamed as I felt my clothes tearing off me by the brutally wicked hands of my dark, wet attacker.

God, how many positions did we do? I still can't count them all, I only know that when he carried me downstairs over his shoulder to get back to our apartment, I didn't even care that I was stark naked and that someone might see me, even though it was about 4 in the morning when we finally got our fill of one another, at least for then.

He took care of me, dried and dressed me in my nice comfortable t-shirt and flannel pajama pants and he wore the nightshirt I gave him, as always, with a pair of shorts. Snuggling under the covers, he held me this time, my face laying happily on his softly falling and rising chest. I wanted to tell him that I loved him again at that point, but by then I had sobered more and realized what problems now faced us, now that we had both said those three important words.

Part of me was afraid to fall asleep because maybe in the morning he'd be gone and some note would be waiting there for me, explaining the rules, and how he'd broken them, too, by letting himself feel something for me in return, and how it could never be.

But his touch is so gentle and soothing to my body, especially after the hours of pleasure it had endured, and I fell asleep anyway, feeling his lips on my hair.

It only took me about four hours to jump awake, startled, shaking and afraid that my paranoid suspicions were correct.

The sun was shining over the foot of my bed and I was glad to see four bumps under the blanket instead of just two. He is still here. My body relaxed and my breath exhaled in one long string.

I thought he would be fast asleep but then his voice was floating right into my ear, "Did you have a bad dream?", the godlike voice asked, sounding concerned.

Funny, but I was wide awake now…and it sounded like he was too. He didn't sound tired or drowsy in the least. Without having the guts yet to look into his eyes, I flashed back over last night's many mistakes of mine: the drinking, the climb up Victoria's stairs that forced me to run over my friends who were trying to stop me, the pounding on her door, the way I lunged onto her desk and grabbed her hair…and the most stupid of all – the I love you in the rain.

How can I be tired when I've fucked up this badly and need to do some serious groveling?

"No.", my voice sounded like a little girl's, "Bad memories."

His finger moved around and played along the bottom edges of my lower lip, still extremely loving and tender, even though he should be so pissed off at me right now.

"Go back to sleep, fair Bella.", his voice was deep and lulled me, "It's Saturday and you can sleep in today."

Saturday – Day 6.

Only 8 more days left….I hate how fast time moves. Damn time.

I made myself sit up and try to at least apologize for what I'd done. I owed him that much.

"Edward…", I felt like crying but didn't let myself. He was laying there behind me but I still didn't have the strength to look at his face. And my heart was hurting because of it.

He didn't say anything and that was scaring me too, but I forced myself to speak.

"I am so stupid, Edward.", I began, stating the obvious, "I got drunk…and I never get drunk…and Victoria…I was so mad at her…jealous, I guess. I lost control of myself and I put all of us in danger. We could've gotten hurt…and because of me, you WILL definitely get hurt."

Okay, now I was crying…I knew I wouldn't be able to hold out for long.

He sat up and hugged his arms around me from behind and his lips touched a part of my bared shoulder.

"It was my fault.", he said in a quiet voice beside my ear, "I asked you to go with me, again, not thinking what it would do to you. I just…I didn't want to be alone last night…for once. It felt nice, for me, having someone. But I forgot…I can't _have_ anyone. You don't belong to me, Bella, as much as I want you to."

I tensed up and let the tears fall and was about to argue with him but he held me tighter.

"Please, don't…just…listen…", his voice pleaded, "Don't turn around. I can't say it if I have to look into your eyes, Bella."

I relaxed and didn't move. I made myself say, "Go ahead, Edward."

He exhaled a breath and said, "I know what we said last night and I would never take it back, Bella. It's been forever since I've wanted to say those words to someone, besides my daughter. But…"

Here it comes…I didn't want to, but a sob came out of my throat and I felt his lips kissing my neck and his perfect nose nuzzled against my hair until I calmed down and stopped. I could hear his voice, saying, "Shhh…shhh….", and that helped me a little, but I knew the words were still going to come and crush me.

I waited and his lips stopped kissing me. Then he continued.

"I _want_ to love you, Bella.", he said, "But I can't. It's wrong for us to be in love with each other. Even if it is true. We have eight more days together…and I want to be with you, Bella. But we can't say we love each other anymore. It's too cruel…for either of us to pretend that we have some kind of future together. We don't. I'm sorry, Bella. I am so sorry."

His voice was cracking in those last few sentences and my heart was breaking faster then I ever thought it could. I knew he would say something like this but I didn't think it would be so damn crippling to hear him saying it.

"You said there was no wrong for us.", my voice whimpered as the tears fell from both my eyes.

He didn't answer, but I was too afraid to listen to hear if he was crying, too.

After a minute, Edward's voice sounded a bit stronger and he was still holding me.

"Today, you're going to have some fun with your friends.", Edward said, "I've arranged that for you. Take the day to get away from me and refocus. Tonight, I'll take you out to dinner and we can have a date. Then you can tell me if you want me to stay or not. Either way, I won't give you a hard time. Whatever you want, Bella, is what I want. You can just tell me yes…or no. "

I wanted to have therapy with him right now but I didn't know if I could handle it at the moment. There are so many questions I have for him, so many things I wanted to know…but at the same time…I didn't want to know.

Is he right? Maybe I should just try to have fun with him for the next eight days, do my sessions with him, and let him go. Maybe I couldn't really love him after only 5 days. In Bridges of Madison County, they fell in love in less than 4 days…oh Christ, I'm looking in movies now for help…great. If I'm gonna go that route, I might as well watch Pretty Woman all over again and take some notes. I think Julia Roberts was far easier to rescue than Edward will be.

All she had to do was kiss Richard Gere and get into his limo. I would have to take on She-Bitch Victoria, and Edward's parents, his list of psycho johns and if I made it through all that, then there was merely the pesky little problem of taking care of Edward's daughter, and I still was in the dark about that whole situation, too. All that aside, all I'd have left to do then was deal with Edward's broken heart, his shattered self worth, his self loathing, not to mention all the memories of his past, trying to build a future and enjoying the present.

Impossible.

But I still love him.

It looks like Edward and I have something in common. I like to punish myself, too.

"Now…", Edward said, still holding me in front of him, moving us out of the bed until we were walking out of the bedroom and towards the bathroom, "You will go get yourself locked in the bathroom again, like before, and I will come rescue you again. And we'll go from there, okay?"

I still hadn't seen his face yet when he gave me a little shove into the bathroom and closed the door behind me.

If only I could go back in time…only trouble is…I loved him even back then, too.

I tried to play along but my voice wasn't very convincing.

"Edward?", I called.

"Yes, Bella?", his voice was right outside the door.

"I need you.", was all I could think to say and my voice cracked a little.

I wasn't talking about the damn door, either. I know he's smart enough to hear that.

A small pause went by and then his voice spoke, sounding deeper.

"Stand back, Bella.", he said, all playfulness and joking gone from his voice.

I was back, but not in the shower as the door swung open but didn't smash the wall this time. It was then that I saw his face and I wondered if mine looked as sad and void as his did.

Before I could even whimper or let the tears fall, he was there, holding me, whispering his "I'm sorry.", to me again as I clung onto him. I just hated myself for being this way, wondering how many other girls let themselves fall for him this way. I'm sure I wasn't the first to depress the crap out of him as he tried to keep things fun and free and light.

Finally, as I rubbed my eyes, Edward tipped my face upwards to his and placed a wonderful deep kiss on my mouth.

"Let's eat.", he suggested, trying to make his voice pleasant as he flung me over his shoulder, taking me to the kitchen and plopping me onto a stool as he began taking off the shirt I had given him, again, taking very good care of it, folding it ever so neatly first.

"How about a nice egg, bacon, and cheese sandwich on a bagel?", Edward had his happy face on again and I tried to do the same, I'm sure, poorly.

"Okay.", I shrugged.

Edward looked at me as if he knew I wasn't so trained as he in the art of making believe but forgiving me for it as he poured me an orange juice and placed it in front of me.

"So…", Edward began to get busy taking things out of the refrigerator, "Maybe tonight, if you want me to stay, we can have therapy again?"

"I want you to stay.", I informed him right out first, "And…you're liking therapy now? This is the second time you've asked for it."

"I like your idea…with the blindfold and all…", he took a sip of juice out of his own glass, "It made me feel very free to talk. And, since you know most of my story already, I might as well tell you the rest. I really would like you to know. I believe you now, Bella. You really would…stick by me. I saw that when we went to do the film. That really meant a lot to me, you know…"

He broke a couple of eggs and shook his head at himself, as if he'd said too much or the wrong thing to me but something else came to my mind now.

"There's something I wanted to bring up to you," I smirked, "And I don't even thing you realize it…but…last night…when Victoria wanted to…cut me…."

"Oh God, Bella.", Edward turned to me, his face now stern, "That reminds me, if you ever go near Victoria or Fire again, I swear, I'm gonna go so Dom on your ass, you won't know what hit you. Promise, now, that you won't do it."

"I will promise not to go near Victoria again, how's that?", I offered.

"Your promises are no good, anyway.", he joked, "You also promised not to fall for me, and you broke that one."

"Anyway…", I cut in, slightly irritated, "Last night, you stood up to her. You said if she tried that, you'd have to stop her. And she backed off. Did you _see_ that?"

His face looked a little strange and I couldn't read his thoughts but then he said, "I don't think she meant things to go that far. She might have grabbed the knife out of instinct. She keeps it there in case someone breaks in. You're a client to her, she didn't really want to cut you, Bella. She was angry. I think I calmed her down."

"Don't water this down, Edward.", I argued as he cooked the eggs and bacon, his marvelous back facing me, "The point is, you did stand up to her. And she did…listen to you. Don't you see how major that is?"

"Yes, it's very major.", his voice sounded hollow, "I'm still her slave, you still have your face…it's a miracle."

"Ugh, you are such a jerk sometimes!", I frowned at his back as he chuckled to himself, cooking, "And that's another thing I want to address, too. This slave thing. You can't be her slave, Edward. Lincoln freed the slaves in the 1800's."

"Bella…there's a lot you don't know.", Edward turned to me, making eye contact, "But she does…own me. There's a lot more to Victoria."

"Well, tell me about this.", I drank some juice, "You told me about the loan sharks and that Victoria paid them off, and that then she said she owned you. But that doesn't make it true, does it?"

"It's more than that.", Edward turned to me, putting a plate down in front of me with my sandwich on it, and then putting the same kind down across from me where he would be sitting, "If it was just that I owed her, that would be different. I have already paid her back long ago for what she gave those loan shark guys, but…the night after I made this…deal with her, these men came to the club, with Victoria. They made me go through this weird ritual thing and I thought it was some sexual game Victoria was playing with me. There is a contract I signed. They cut me and took some of my blood. It was weird but I did it. I just did it."

"That still doesn't mean anything…"

"Victoria's family – these men – told me that if I tried leaving or starting anything, they could use my blood to connect me to any murder or rape they wanted. Victoria's family is some big mob type family. I don't know why they care that I stay with Victoria, but they really seemed serious to me. They even threatened my daughter. So I _am_ her slave. I can't _go_ anywhere.", he sounded so hopeless.

"Why would you agree to all this?", I was baffled.

"It was either that or die right then by the loan sharks.", he sat down across from me now, picking up his sandwich and taking a bite, "I wasn't in a good place to negotiate at the time. My daughter needs the money, Bella. My daughter needs lots of money. That's why I stay with Victoria. Nothing else would keep me there. They knew what they were doing. They _have_ me."

I felt sick inside while he casually informed me of this and part of me said, forget it, it's hopeless, but the other 99% of me decided to keep fighting for him, no matter how impossible it seemed.

"Why would these men do this?", I asked aloud, not understanding.

"I don't know.", Edward shrugged, eating, "Emmett isn't owned and neither is Jasper. Jasper is only a dancer, he doesn't have sex with the customers. But Emmett does. He's not owned by Victoria, though, he can leave Fire is he wants to. As far as I know, I'm the only one she owns outright."

"Edward…", I sighed, taking a bite of my sandwich, "You have really locked yourself into this world tight. But I'm gonna find a way out for you."

He smiled, almost laughing at me with a mouthful of food.

"Oh, you are, are you?", he smirked.

"Yes I am.", I informed, almost glaring at him, taking a bigger bite of my sandwich.

"Well that should keep you busy for the next eight days.", he chuckled, swallowing, "Half our days are still for bizarre sexual play, so you really have only four days, actually."

"I mean it, Edward.", I frowned, "I'm your friend and I'm going to find a way out for you."

"Bella…" his face turned very serious, "Don't _do_ anything. If anything happens and my daughter is hurt…we won't _be_ friends anymore."

"I'm not stupid, Edward.", I said, trying to ignore his last few words and the fear they put in my heart, "I would never do anything to put your daughter in any danger. I am just going to figure out the way to free you, that's all. And you can't stop me from doing _that_."

"Fine.", Edward relaxed a bit, "But don't contact Victoria for any reason. I'm serious."

"I won't.", I agreed, "Hey, this sandwich is pretty damn good, Edward. Maybe you can be a short order cook."

I was kidding and wanted to see him laugh or smile. And I got that. He laughed, shaking his head at me, muttering something about crazy.

Hey, I'm a college student. I can figure this out. Yea, right.

By the time we were finished eating, I asked Edward what he was going to be doing today while I was gone.

"I have some cleaning to do at Fire today.", he informed without blinking, "No big deal, I'll be there alone all day but there's some painting that needs to be done, some other maintenance down below."

"In the dungeon?", I asked before thinking.

"Yes.", he said with a grin, "The equipment must be oiled and cared for."

"Is your room right in there with the dungeon?" I probed further.

His eyes squinted at me and then I added, "Emmett said…you have a room there."

"It's a nice room.", he sounded a little defensive, "And no, it's apart from the dungeon, although I have slept many nights in the dungeon, if that's what you wanted to know."

"Edward…", I closed my eyes and then looked into his face, "If I find you a way out that works for you and your daughter…would you leave her?"

He smiled to himself and then to me.

"If by some miracle, anyone finds me a way out that works for my daughter…then, yes, I would leave.", he confessed, then added, "But, Bella…there is no way out. I'll let you try to figure it out if you like, but…I've thought it over a billion different ways. And I've concluded this. There is no way out. Period. Trust me. Don't waste your time. Let's just enjoy our time together. It's not very often I get two weeks with an angel. Maybe I'm selfish, but I want every second I can get with you. Because this is all we have. You understand?"

I nodded, not wanting to speak and hear my voice crack again. I was thinking of Bridge of Madison County again, when the four days was all they got together and she never heard from him again until the day he died and all his things came to her in a box. I could see myself, a 90 year old woman, taking the nightshirt that I bought him out of a cardboard box and dieing inside.

"I will take care of the dishes…", he leaned forward, kissing my lips with a smile, "And you will go take a shower and get ready to go shopping."

I whined. "I hate shopping."

"Go.", he pointed…and I went, reluctantly, not enjoying this.

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EPOV

Once I heard Bella in the shower I was safe to make my call.

I closed my eyes, waiting while the phone rang twice and then it was picked up, and his voice answered, "Hello?"

"Hi Ben." I tried to sound pleasant, actually liking hearing the old man's voice.

"Edward!", he sounded glad to hear from me, "How're you doing, kid?"

"Fine, fine.", I said, bringing the pan from the stove to the sink, "I didn't wake you guys up, did I?"

"No, no, you kidding?", Ben scoffed, "This little ball of energy gets up every day at the crack of dawn!"

I smiled, seeing her in my mind and laughed along with Ben for a second.

"Did you want to talk to her?", he asked.

"Not right now, Ben.", I said, "I just wanted to let you know that I won't be able to call at 3 today. I have an important meeting I can't get out of. So…maybe, later tonight or tomorrow?"

"Hold on, Edward." Ben's voice sounded more serious now and I heard a door close near him, as if he went into another room for privacy.

Oh shit.

Then he spoke again.

"Edward…what is going on, son?" Ben asked with real concern in his voice, not judgement, "Are you still…working at that place?"

"Yea, why?" I asked, panic rising up in my voice, "The hospital's still getting the payments, right?"

"Oh, yes, Edward, yes, calm down.", he assured, "Everything is always paid for and you know I thank you more than I can say for that…but…I feel so sick about this, son. Don't work at that place anymore. Listen, I'll send you a ticket. You come here and live with us. We will figure out another way. There are all kinds of loans or aid we can apply for…and…."

"No, Ben…", I said and it killed me to say the words. I would love to go live where my daughter is but it's too late now. I can't leave Victoria. They'd hurt Katie and I would rather die than worry about that all the time. And Victoria knows exactly where Katie lives.

"Edward, listen, talk to me.", he said, "You call me Ben but I'm your father, too. You and Katie are all the family we have left now. We don't want you there doing all that crap. Come home. Katie misses you, son."

I couldn't listen to anymore of this. He was killing me. It would hurt less to have my skin torn from my bones.

"I have to go, okay, Ben?", I tried to keep my voice strong, "Call you tomorrow. Bye."

I hung up before I could even hear his voice again and tried to blink the stupid tears out of my eyes while I slammed the pans in the sink, trying to clear my head of the thoughts of my little girl missing me, crying.

Thank God Bella takes long showers. By the time she was out of the bathroom I had shed a few tears and composed myself, all the dishes done and drying in the holder.

I did my showering next, wishing I hadn't been so sad after talking to Ben earlier. I could've snuck myself into Bella's shower and had some nice, clean fun. But then I thought back to last night, well, really, only a few hours ago on the roof, and thought maybe it was better to give her a break for awhile.

I hated keeping a distance from Bella and so far, I really hadn't done it, but she said she loved me. I believe her, too. A giant part of me wanted to shout it from every rooftop and celebrate. But this made my problem worse. It's one thing if I'm hurting, but now she will, too. Love is so cruel.

And now she wants to somehow find me a way out of my life. Good luck. I hurt everyone who loves me. Tanya, Katie, now Bella.

I should just let Raven have me already, that's where I'm headed anyway. Maybe I'll get lucky one day and she'll succeed in killing me. Sweet, peaceful death…

I was allowed to wear a t-shirt with my jeans when Bella's friends arrived. They both greeted me warmly and returned my hug when I let them inside. I slipped Rosalie the envelope that held their shopping money while Alice talked to Bella.

Alice also gave Bella back her notebook from the club last night and informed her that she was never allowed to drink in public with them again. I was really starting to like Alice.

Emmett and Jasper had agreed to meet them at the mall to hang out and shop for the day, and it seemed like a casual, laid back kind of get together for all of them. Even if they all just became friends for a couple days that would be nice, I thought. It's not often Emmett and Jasper get the chance to hang around with girls off the clock just for fun. I didn't get any angry calls from them for giving their numbers to the girls, so I guessed I was right.

I wished I could go but I had torture penciled in for today.

It seemed Alice was going to drive them to the mall and they said they'd be back at around 7pm or so. Bella didn't like the sound of that, but she went along willingly anyway.

Before they left, I asked if I could talk to Bella for one minute before they went. Rosalie and Alice just smirked at each other and went downstairs to wait in the car for her.

"Bella…" I began, holding her hands, "I want to say something. Last night, I was very scared for you and said some things wrong. I'm sorry I said you were stupid. Standing up for me like you did to Victoria…it took a lot of courage and I know you did it because you care about me. You don't know how much that means to me, Bella, so…I thank you for that. Don't ever do it again, but still, I thank you."

She smiled and had misty eyes, answering, "No problem."

"And I'm sorry about before when I said if you did anything to get my daughter hurt we wouldn't be friends. That was a shitty thing to say. I just get…very nervous where she is concerned. We'll _always_ be friends, Bella. Even after our time together is over, I'll always count you in as my friend. I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt us."

"Thanks.", she looked more misty eyed now and I smiled down at her perfect face.

"Are we okay?" I asked.

She gave a nod and smiled, wiping a tear away quickly. "Yea, we're okay."

"I'm sorry.", I cupped her face in my hands and kissed the wet spot where the tear had fallen, then touched my lips to every inch of her face, "I don't want to make you cry. It seems like one of us are always crying. We'll have to concentrate on having some fun in the next few days. Alright?"

This made her smile and she said, "Alright. But I'm still gonna find your way out."

"Okay.", I smiled, admiring her perseverance, "I'm sure we can do both of those at once. Have fun and I'll see you tonight when you get back."

"Okay."

"Can I have a kiss?", I asked, nose to nose with her.

She nodded and I smiled more, opening my lips and taking her delicious glossy mouth into mine, touching and closing, licking and tasting her. We clung to each other so tight during that kiss and although I couldn't say it, I knew I loved her…would always love her, even if I never got to see her again. I heard her voice whimper, as if she couldn't kiss me hard enough but wanted to.

We weren't even finished with the kiss yet and already it was powerful enough to help me face down what was coming up for me today. I needed strength…and now, I have it. I have love, even though I shouldn't have it. It felt like I just grew a very thick skin, just from the touch of her lips.

Finally, she broke the kiss and nuzzled her little nose against mine as I stared at her, delirious as if I'd just taken a drug.

"Get lots of kinky things.", I slapped her hard on the ass, snapping her out of her haze as she screamed, rubbing her ass as I held the door open for her.

"Bye, Evil." She nicknamed me, slowly moving out the door as I watched her.

"Bye, Rooftop Goddess.", I smart cracked back, making her face turn bright purple.

"Hey, shhhh!", she slapped my arm playfully, walking to the stairs, laughing with me as she descended, then, finally, dropping out of sight.

Now it's time to see Raven. Shit.

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**WARNING** THIS IS THE RAVEN SCENE ! IT MAY BE HARD FOR YOU TO READ, GOD KNOWS IT WAS VERY VERY HARD TO WRITE!! SORRY IN ADVANCE!!

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When you arrive at Raven's mansion, you get to a gate first. Whenever I arrive, the gate is wide open, but I'm sure when Raven's Daddy is here, it's always closed and requires you to buzz and announce yourself in first.

I drive in. Yes, for Raven's place you need your car. It is very remote and out in the center of the woods. Many times I had been used here outdoors and most likely would again today, as it was nice and warm now, but then maybe not. Raven liked me outside when the weather was chilly and cold, more suffering that way.

I drove around the winding cement path that led around behind the west side of the house, passing the tennis courts and outdoor pools that were all vacant and empty. Whenever I was invited over, I never saw anyone else, except Raven's assistant/bodyguard.

He was a former bouncer at some NY club and Raven took a liking to him and hired him. He liked to wear expensive Armani suits and covered up the muscles, spiky blonde hair, but a couple of times Raven would have him assist her in playing with me and then he was all shorts and muscles.

He would never do anything homosexual with me, just do things like punch me in the stomach, hold my head underwater, lift or take me down from any position she wanted me in. He would always act like my friend, smiling at me and saying, sorry, she's the boss. His name is Dylan and that always made me laugh, remembering 90210.

I parked in the usual place, behind the kitchen entrance. I put my car keys in my jeans pocket and approached the door. Always, before I even knocked on it, Dylan was there, opening it for me.

"Edward.", he flashed a bright smile at me and I smiled back as he shook my hand, "Nice to see you again. Come on in."

"Thanks Dylan.", I kept the smile on but lessened it a bit as I entered the kitchen, hands behind me, waiting for my instructions.

"She wants to see you first, before going downstairs, as usual.", Dylan informed as casually as if he were telling a plumber what to do, "The usual pose, at the bottom of her bedroom stairs. I might see you later on, if she requires, but for the most part, it's just you and her today."

Sometimes Raven lets her girlfriends play with me too, but not today it seems. I guessed today was kind of special since it had been six months since she last saw me. And also, since she nearly killed me last time she had her hands on me.

"Thanks Dylan.", I said again, making eye contact with him as he gave a nod and walked out of the kitchen.

I began taking off my shirt, laying it on the kitchen table, not bothering to fold it, then my sneakers, socks, jeans and underwear all joined my shirt on the table top.

And I slowly walked out of the kitchen, down three hallways, knowing exactly where I was going. Finally, when I reached the rock hard ebony marble floor that laid at the bottom of a white carpeted staircase, I knelt on the unforgiving surface and closed my legs, my hands behind my back, my body erect and straight. Slouching or bending was not acceptable. But my eyes had to be on the floor. Eye contact was not allowed, unless ordered.

I knelt there for quite awhile, not budging from my position, my face relaxed and expressionless, almost as if I were a thing, not a person…a toy waiting to be used.

I kept seeing flashes of my last time with Raven but I kept trying to block them, wishing I could erase those. Victoria said she would make sure at 5, if I wasn't out of here, she'd call. But that was before Bella attacked her. And she did leave me here for three days last time, and she wasn't mad at me at all back then.

I am so fucked.

Her door was opening now and my body tensed then instantly relaxed. My body was smart enough to tense, my brain was overriding it, ordering it to loosen.

I didn't really have to look up to see her in my head. Raven is a woman my own age, 28 maybe, very beautiful to the eye. Ivory, cream skin, long black hair she has never cut in her lifetime, bangs over her forehead, silky and shiny and usually braided tight reaching past her ass. Bright blue eyes, almost a turquoise color that was so unusual and attractive that she could surely catch and hold any man's eyes. Her lips were always dark red and glossy, full, pouting rose petals. Her body was very fit and toned, not overly muscular but strong and still feminine, attractive. She was never fully nude in front of me. There was usually an elaborate leather or rubber outfit she sported for our games.

Today was no different. She was wearing a black leather corset, her naked breasts exposed above it, and a black leather collar tight around her neck with no rings on it, meaning she was not a slave, not owned. Over her crotch there was a little triangle of leather, a thong that left her ass exposed behind her, thigh high leather boots completing the whole dominatrix look.

Slowly, she came down the carpeted steps, making no noise at all, holding a half filled glass of wine. Placing it on the round, flat banister at the bottom of the stairs, she had two free hands now as she greeted me.

She was smiling at me and her hands slipped under both sides of my jaw and tilted my face upwards to her. I had fallen for this once before. I made eye contact when she did this and was severely punished for it. This time I closed my eyes as she moved my face up.

"Good boy.", she purred affectionately as her fingers and thumbs stroked my forehead, cheeks, and lips.

I didn't answer. I was not given permission to speak yet. It is very strict with Raven.

"Mmmm…Edward…I have missed you so…", her voice was deep but sincere sounding, "No one suffers as sweetly as you."

"You look very beautiful…", her voice said next, and I kept my face in place and eyes closed even though she let go and was moving around me now, looking me over.

"Even your ass looks more muscular than before…", she commented, standing in front of me again, stroking her fingernail down the cleft of my chin, "And you still remember my rules…such a good boy."

"Open your eyes.", she ordered and I obeyed, seeing her porcelain painted face above me.

"Oh God…", she smiled, moving her fingers over my eyebrows, "I forgot how gorgeous those were…so sad and innocent…the color is straight from the forests of eden."

"Did you miss me?", she slid her fingers into my hair as she added, "You may reply without words."

I nodded slowly, holding her eyes with mine.

"Then why don't you smile?", she moved her fingers over my mouth and added, "You may."

I smiled my best up at her, my hands still behind me as she smiled back down upon me.

"My sweet pet…", she bent over, whispering, "You may give."

This means I may give her my love or affection, whatever she would call it.

As if I hadn't been able to breathe without kissing her, I opened my lips and roughly assaulted her glossy mouth with mine, quickly using my tongue and letting a moan escape me as my hands stayed pinned behind me. I was like a dog of hers that hadn't been in her presence for a long time and was attacking her, love starved. This is how she likes it.

She kissed me back for awhile and then finally moaned, "Mmmmm….", and broke away from me. I was never to stop unless ordered to so as she straightened, I kept kissing my mouth over her waist, on the leather corset with the same energy I had used on her lips.

"Stop.", she shoved my face away and I cast my eyes downward again, slightly breathing heavily, quieting.

She moved to the banister and picked up her wine glass, taking a tiny sip as she stared at me.

Walking back up to me, she tapped my chin up with her finger and placed the glass to my lips, saying, "Drink."

I swallowed it down but then she took the glass away and tossed the remainder of the wine at my face.

"Bad boy, look what you did.", she smiled, "And you got it on the floor, too. This is very expensive wine. Clean it up."

I got down and licked the wine off the marble floor until it was completely gone. In a few moments, I was back up on my knees, hands behind me, eyes down.

"Speak.", she demanded, moving around behind me.

"I'm sorry, Raven. Please forgive me.", I made my voice sound truly sorry, she didn't like me sounding like a robot. She liked the sounds of fear and sorrow and begging.

"I'll think about it.", she grabbed my hair from behind me, "But I know you don't want to be forgiven without being punished first, right?"

"Yes, Raven.", I answered with a soft voice.

"Sweet, delicious pet…", she let go of my hair, saying, "I have some new toys for you to play with. You remember the way…crawl."

I got on all fours and crawled to her basement, hearing her heels clicking neatly behind me as I moved.

Once down the stairs and in the dimly lit basement I knelt back in position and put my eyes on the cement floor as Raven came down the stairs behind me.

Dylan was there, now wearing jeans and a t-shirt, preparing things around behind me as I waited patiently.

"I have many fun things planned for us today, Edward.", she began, sounding pleased, "But first Victoria made me promise two things. First was to make sure this time that you get plenty of water. I guess I didn't give you enough last time. So first, open your mouth."

Dylan handed her something as I opened my mouth. Dylan secured my head back, holding his hand over my forehead as she inserted a little short tube into my mouth and pushed it back until it was almost touching the back of my throat.

Involuntarily, I started to jerk and struggle a little, gagging as the tube did touch my throat.

"Shhh, shhh, shhhh…relax…right there is the spot, Dylan.", she half said to me then to Dylan.

The tube was hard and plastic and thin and pointed to the back of my tongue as I saw Raven began duct taping over my mouth, taping the tube in place as Dylan yanked my head back tighter. I closed my eyes and stopped struggling and about ten minutes later, my mouth was completely taped over and on the other end of the tube was a medium sized blue funnel.

"Good boy.", Raven pet my hair as Dylan let go of me and stepped back, "Let's try it out."

She held the funnel up a few feet over my head and Dylan unscrewed a bottle of water, handing it to her as my eyes widened a little.

"We'll try a little at first until you get used to it.", she informed me, pouring some water into the funnel. The water came through the tube fast and before I knew it, water was in my throat and my eyes clenched, my throat refusing to swallow.

"Swallow, Edward.", Raven rubbed my throat and I swallowed against my will, choking a little, finding air.

"You're going to have to practice with this.", Raven said and poured more water into the funnel.

By the eighth or ninth mouthful of water I had learned how to swallow it down this way, little by little, quick gulps, opening my throat, closing, opening, closing. It was awful and I couldn't breathe or even taste the water but I could endure it. It was like drowning and swallowing was the only way to get air…and then Raven would pour more water in.

After she had poured a couple bottles of water into me, she kept the funnel firmly in my mouth and announced, "Second thing I promised Victoria…keep you cool. There had been some complaint last time that poor baby was too hot down here."

Dylan moved a tarp off a long rectangular object and I saw it was a giant block of ice, ropes laying underneath it.

"Lay down, Edward.", she ordered, "On your back for now."

I did as she said, the funnel over my head and hooked onto a chain that hung from the wall. As my ass and back touched the giant ice block I heard my muffled voice moan out in discomfort but that was ignored.

Dylan and Raven stood on both sides of me and began to expertly bind my wrists with the ropes under the ice so that my entire arm was held against the cold, slick surface.

"You won't be hot today, I guarantee it.", Raven commented as my body already began to shiver.

My ankles were bound next and my knees bent my lower legs down against the ice where the block ended, but my feet didn't reach the floor.

"I heard you've been a bad boy, Edward.", Raven looked down at me after I was helpless and trembling below her, "Victoria told me to ride you hard today."

I tried to make as little noise as possible but my breathing was troubled and my body wouldn't stop shaking.

"More water, Dylan.", she said behind me and without unhooking the funnel, Dylan uncapped another bottle of water and began to pour a good amount into the plastic cup above my head.

All I could say was, "Mmm –nnnnnffffff…", before the water was in my throat again. This was even scarier and more impossible laying flat.

During this, Raven was speaking to me.

"All this lovely flesh…", she was stroking my chest and neck as I swallowed over and over again, hoping the next gulp would be air and not more water, never knowing how much more there was.

"Come on, Edward, cock up.", she demanded and I winced, struggling to swallow all the water in my funnel and harden my dick at the same time.

Thank God it hardened and I heard Raven down near the bottom of the ice cube, kneeling down.

"Oh yes, look at that magnificent hard cock…" she complimented right before she took the entire length of it into her mouth, roughly sucking and yanking it in her hand, the other hand gripping my balls unforgivingly.

Right then I got a breath of air and I let out a hard moan, my eyes peeking down at her as she licked and jerked and sucked with her own eyes closed, enjoying this. Then I felt the water in my throat again and almost choked, my eyes darting up and seeing Dylan pouring a lot more water into the funnel.

"Nnnnnnnn….." my voice protested as I swallowed again, a few drops at a time, praying for air and a break.

After a few minutes, my cock was wet and rock solid and Raven told me she bought me a gift.

"This is a cock cage.", she informed, showing me this long, metallic looking thing with lots of little thin bars, "You ever seen one of these before?"

I had but I shook my head anyway. Dylan stopped with the water for now as my legs and arms quivered. I was filled with cold water and laying on a block of ice, this didn't feel very good at all. But I knew it was nothing yet, she hadn't even begun.

Cock cages are very small and tight and basically encase your penis in this hard little restraint. When you're erect, it's pure hell.

"So innocent…", Raven shook her head at me as she opened the little cage and began to stuff my engorged penis into it as I started groaning and growling in pain, "Poor little pup…"

The contraption closed after an eternity and I screamed right out, my head pressed between little hard prongs as the rest of my shaft throbbed in their extremely tight prison as well.

"There you are, my sweet…", she licked the head through the cage and made me scream again.

"Dylan, bring me my needles please.", she said casually as my eyes closed, trying to mentally prepare myself for this. Raven loves needles. These were sterilized, three or four inch long needles with green plastic handles on the ends for the Dom to push on to properly drive the needle end in.

My mind worked quickly, retrieving Tanya's face for me to look at. She was crying because of my cruel words and then I felt a sharp point poke the edge of my cock's head and slowly stab through until it poked out at the bottom of it.

My voice roared out, growling as my chest rose and fell in agony. I wanted to scream – Please, no more – don't! But I couldn't do that. Not until I was allowed to beg…and that wouldn't be for some time yet.

"So brave…", Raven took another needle from the holder Dylan was holding for her and pierced it down like the first one, in the ridge of my head, downwards, and out the bottom.

I growled and panted, keeping my eyes clenched so I could keep Tanya in view while I hurt her over and over again in my thoughts. It made the needles easier to take, knowing every time I verbally stabbed Tanya, I was stabbed in return.

This was just the start of the needles, and I knew it, as the third one stabbed into the head of my cock. Raven liked to pierce me all over – chest, nipples, face, ass. Once she sewed my lips together and Victoria got mad as hell because my lips were sore and useless for three days afterwards.

"Are you cool enough, my love?", Raven asked with a sugary sweet voice.

I nodded vigorously and felt a needle poke itself into my balls until it was all the way in. This one didn't poke out the other side. My fists were clenching down at my sides as she continued, no more worried about me than a nail salon tech would be about the customer she was servicing.

Raven moved slowly and took her time but it wasn't long before I had both chest nipples adorned by needles that went around in a circle there, my balls and cock thoroughly pierced through the spokes of the cock cage.

Now she was sitting on my chest and I could feel her warm, naked ass on my cold skin as she held a new needle, now staring at my face.

"Enjoying yourself, Edward?", she smiled.

I nodded.

"Have to piss yet?" she asked next.

I shook my head, not wanting to even think of how humiliating that would be.

"More water, Dylan.", she said and I almost yelled out. Instead, my voice was moaning its protest and dislike as Dylan went to get another bottle of water.

"You wanted water, my love.", Raven reminded me, replying to my sounds, and as the water poured into the funnel again, I felt the needle in Raven's hand prick me in the cheek.

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LASH!!

LASH!!!!

SLAP!!!

The single tail whip is a true bitch. I can take most whips but the single tail sucks. I was now on my knees on the ice block, hands above my head tied with rope, together. The funnel was taken out of my mouth for now and my stomach was painfully bloated with bottles of water sloshing around inside while I took my whipping.

My back felt wet and sore and my ass was throbbing with the lashes slashed across it as well. Usually, I wasn't to be marked when I was working for another client at the same time but I'm sure after Bella lunged at Victoria, she didn't care if Bella saw all the marks I'd be taking home tonight. Perhaps it was a message from Victoria to Bella – this is what happens when you fight me.

Fuck, how am I going to explain this?

Bella, I was attacked by a grizzly bear on the way home from Fire…

SMACK !!

I arched up a bit and let out a whimper, too weak at the moment to do any more screaming. Raven didn't gag me during whippings – she wanted to hear me scream…and I had. Now I was just sore meat, taking it without much fight.

"Turn around.", she demanded and I let out a moan, turning towards her on my knees.

"Have to piss yet?" she asked, looking at the needles in my flesh.

I shook my head, lying.

"You can't hold it forever, pup.", she smirked, "And you better not have an accident…I'll get very angry at you."

She snapped the whip across my chest, decorating the front side of me now as I screamed out, panting and sweating as she attacked new flesh.

Once my whipping was over, Raven told Dylan to wake me up. I was exhausted and weak and then I heard him turning a faucet behind me somewhere. The hose…in a few seconds, cold water from a garden hose sprayed on my body from the front and I yelled out, the icy water making contact with the lashes and bruised skin, not to mention the painful sensation of holding my piss for so long.

Dylan kept spraying me all over as I jerked in vein, stinging all over. After a few minutes, I was more aware of what was going on around me, more alert.

And I had to piss badly.

"Raven…", I spoke without being told to and hoped I wouldn't be punished too harshly for that.

Dylan stopped the hose and Raven said, "Yes, my pet?"

I closed my eyes and made my voice ask it.

"May I please piss?", I asked, hearing no laughter or mockery from either of them.

"Good boy.", she said approvingly, "Bring me your cock."

I winced and turned myself towards her and she was coming towards me with a long plastic container. She took hold of my penis and placed it inside that and said, "You may piss, sweetheart."

I glanced up at Dylan and he wasn't watching, he was doing something with a little dog crate in the corner.

I swallowed my pride and let myself piss, hating this part most of all. Raven wouldn't even let me piss like a person, using my own hand to hold myself. It was the ultimate humiliation.

"Very good, love.", Raven said as I finished, taking the container away, "You may give."

She stood on top of the ice block where I was kneeling and bent down towards me again, letting my mouth kiss her savagely again until she stood up and moved away from me. My lips kept kissing her body where I could reach it and she was letting me this time, her fingernails playing in my hair.

"I think baby needs a little rest.", Raven said to Dylan as I ignored it and kept kissing Raven's inner thigh.

"It's been a couple hours.", Dylan said with a friendly voice.

"Yes.", Raven pointed her finger to her other inner thigh and I kissed that one completely next, not stopping.

"Come to bed, sweetheart.", Raven said as Dylan cut the ropes from behind me, letting my arms fall down limply.

Raven helped me down off the ice block and over to a black wooden box against the wall. She opened the front of the box and it opened like a door, showing a little goose down comforter on the floor of the box. This is my bed.

"Crawl over and lie down, baby.", Raven stroked my hair again as I crawled over and laid on it, having to curl into a ball to fit inside the box.

"Good boy.", Raven put her hand over my eyes, closing them, "Take a little nap."

She closed the front of the box, sealing me into a black wooden cube, a padlock snapped shut outside the box and then a tiny little circle window opened in the upper right corner of the box above my head.

Fuck, my body hurts. It's shivering and I can't stop it. It's so cold. Calm down, breathe, close your eyes. Forget where you are. You're with Bella now. Bella is holding me now. We're warm in her bed under the blankets. Yes. Good.

Raven was being pretty nice today, maybe she was sorry for last time and was trying to make it up to me somehow. But then her mood could turn in a moment. And I had three more hours to go. At least.

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See next chapter soon!

Love, WinndSinger

PS – I tried not to go too gory with Raven but she's not finished yet.

She's going to get worse. Fair warning. If you didn't want to read this part,

I totally understand.

Also, try not to be too upset about Edward's hopeless situation, there will be a way out and Bella is on the case now. Trust me. I will be updating now regularly again, like before. Sorry about the gap.


	16. Stupid

16

EPOV

I was running…my boots dodging and leaping over fire hoses as I sprinted towards my apartment building. Even the cop who asked me to come with him was left in the dust behind me. I've always been a fast runner.

A boom sounded and the bottom of the building became invisible in the uprising flames.

"SIR, GET BACK HERE NOW!!", I heard a voice calling me from behind but I ignored it.

Then, I hit a wall. Not an actual wall, a tall, burly fireman that wore a helmet, held a radio, and was standing beside a fire engine. He was an older man, but he was no weakling. I guessed he was a hardened Captain or something. And he was blocking me from my building.

"Hey, where are YOU goin?", he shouted at me as I struggled against him.

"That's my building, I LIVE THERE!!", I tried to push him out of my way but two more younger firemen were helping the Captain block me now.

"MY WHOLE FAMILY IS IN THERE!!", I screamed, "TANYA!!"

"Help this man and see if his family is with the survivors, please.", the older fireman said to the younger ones.

"KATIE!!", I bellowed, two men forcing me backwards against my will, "NO!! LET GO OF ME!!"

They rushed me away from the building and over to the grass across the road where some people in their pajamas stood, watching and crying.

"These are all the survivors we got out so far, Sir, do you see your family?", the fireman asked me as my legs began to tremble.

"No.", I felt tears rise up in my eyes, walking back over to the burning building.

"Alright, let me just tell you…", the fireman said to me over the roar of the noise, "the fire began at around 3am – a lot of people were asleep when it broke out. We have ten men inside looking for survivors. What floor do you live on?"

"Ninth.", I shouted out clearly, feeling tears falling down my face as I blinked, "My wife and daughter—"

"Stay calm, Sir, hold on.", the fireman clicked on his radio and said, "Ladder 12, Ladder 12, what floor are you on?"

"Sixth floor.", a quick voice came back.

The fireman with me clicked on and said, "Ninth floor, female adult, female child."

"What apartment, Sir?"

"9B." I kept watching the building, counting floors with my eyes, the ninth floor looked untouched by the fire at the moment, at least to me from here.

"9B.", the fireman said into his radio, "Apartment 9B."

"Copy that.", a male voice said, then nothing.

"I can't sit here, I have to get in there.", I leapt up and began to walk towards the building again, but again was stopped by more than one fireman.

"I know where they ARE!", I shouted, "I can show you, come on!!"

"Sir!", another fireman shouted at me, "The first five floors of your building are on fire. Every so often another explosion. You are not going in there, under ANY circumstances."

"Well, can't we get a ladder or something to get up there to help people?!", I asked, getting grave stares back from them.

"We know what we're doing, Sir, just please.", the fireman said to me, "I have kids, I know what you're going through, but—"

"Are your kids trapped in a burning building?!" I screamed, completely enraged at the man suddenly, "MY WHOLE LIFE IS IN THERE AND YOU TELL ME TO CALM DOWN?!!"

"I know, Sir, I know…", the fireman was trying to be understanding but he wasn't doing me any good.

"Oh, fuck!", I woke up and grabbed my cell phone out of my jacket pocket, dialing my home number, "Why didn't I think to call—they might be asleep, but if the phone rings, they'll wake up."

"Good idea.", a fireman said to me and I let it ring until the machine went on.

It was my voice, saying, "You have reached Edward, Tanya…"

And then Katie's voice came on and added, "AND KATIE CULLEN!!"

My eyes closed and I trembled, feeling warm tears trailing down my face as it seemed to take an eternity for the machine to pick up.

Then my voice was chuckling and said, "Please leave us a message and we'll call you right back."

Then I yelled with all my might.

'TANYA, WAKE UP AND PICK UP NOW!!", I screamed like a maniac, "THE BUILDING'S ON FIRE, WAKE UP, TANYA, NOW!! KATIE!! SOMEONE, PLEASE WAKE UP AND ANSWER NOW!!"

The machine cut me off and I hung up, dialing it again and screaming into my phone like a crazed person three more times. I was almost crying, wondering if the smoke had already killed them in their beds when, as I was screaming, I heard a click and my voice halted in its tracks.

"Daddy?" a little groggy voice answered and I grabbed the fireman next to me, letting him know I got an answer.

"Baby, yea, it's Daddy.", I almost sobbed, "Where's Mommy?"

"Asleep, I think.", she said, "Are you mad?"

"No, baby, I'm not mad. I love you, I'm never mad at you…" I was sobbing now, trying to hide it, "Go wake Mommy up but don't hang up the phone, okay?"

"Okay Daddy, hold on.", she said and trailed off as I said to the fireman next to me, "My family is alive in there, GET THEM OUT NOW!!"

He ran off to alert his superior and they were talking on their radios.

"Katie!", I couldn't wait anymore, I hated not hearing her now, "KATIE!"

"Edward…" a woman's voice was calling me as my eyes began to open a bit.

It was dark and I heard my voice breathe, "Tanya?"

Focusing more, I blinked a couple times and remembered where I was. Curled up in my box with only one little circle above giving me light and air.

"Bad boy…" Raven's voice scolded from the circle, "First you say Katie…now Tanya…you have so many other women on your mind. You're supposed to be focused on me now, you little slut."

Shit.

My hands were shaking as a bigger window opened in the box, a very large circle, letting a bit of light in as Raven's face stared back at mine.

"Put your head through.", she ordered and I carefully did as she said, finding there was just enough room for my head to stick outside the box, leaving the rest of my body inside it.

"Tongue.", she said without emotion.

I stuck my tongue out, my fists clenching inside the box as she opened a clothespin, letting it clasp onto my tongue.

"That's Tanya.", she said playfully, then put another one on my tongue, adding, "And that's Katie."

She stood up and walked away, letting me suffer there alone for awhile. It wasn't really that bad of a punishment, actually. I thought she was going to stick my tongue with the needles. Glad I was wrong about that. I tried to look around to see what they were planning to do with me next but from this hole my head was stuck in, I could only see the floor.

My body was kneeling in the box, bent over, my hands on the floor of the box.

I tried to think of Bella in the mall with Rosalie and Alice, looking at lingerie and that made me smile a little. I can't wait to see what she brings home. Maybe I'll have her model it for me.

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BPOV

"No, I'm not going to model it for you.", I laughed at Emmett and Jasper's suggestion in the middle of Victoria's Secret.

They were laughing, too, and I knew they were kidding, but my face still felt red hot just the same.

"Edward will love that.", Jasper raised a brow, looking at it on the hanger, holding it up to me, trying to get a visual, "He loves crotchless, trust me."

"Stop!", I yanked it out of his hand, walking towards the dressing rooms as Alice and Rosalie waited for me over there.

"These boys are bad!", I informed my friends as I closed myself into the pretty dressing room, hating the mirrors inside while I undressed.

I knew the girls were outside the room, waiting to see what I was trying on so I announced, "I think I'm gonna head home after this store."

"I don't think so, Bella.", Alice quickly came back with, "We've been hired as personal shoppers and we're not done yet. Sorry."

"I just have a lot of work to do today.", I grumbled, stepping into a black lace body stocking, moving it carefully up my legs as I sat on the silk little bench behind me, "Edward's not there so it's a good chance to go over all my tapes and make good notes."

"You have three more days off to do that now hush.", Rosalie sighed.

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EPOV

"Hush!", Raven's voice shouted as my voice cried out again, my face wet with tears I couldn't hold in, "It's all over, sweetness…"

My feet kicked out of reflex as the dangled a few feet off the floor, bound with black leather cuffs that jingled with any movement. My chest was spider webbed with intricate knots and white ropes that expertly came together at my back and hung from a metal hook overhead. My arms were folded behind my back and cleverly bound with lots of rope that held them in place above my spine and another rope went from the back of my collar to the hook to hold my neck and support it so it wouldn't just dangle painfully. I was suspended in the air, legs apart, facing down, at eye level with Raven as she stood before me.

"It's all over.", she kissed my lips that trembled, "Don't cry anymore, my pet. I'm done playing with you from behind."

She dropped the last toy into the large plastic box at her feet and gave a nod to Dylan.

"Sterilize all those toys, Dylan.", she smirked at him, "We're finished with them for now."

"Yes, Raven.", he picked up the box and left the basement.

I was trying to compose myself but at the moment I was in bad shape. My body couldn't stop violently trembling and the tears wouldn't stop leaking out of my eyes as I panted, deeply pained. I hate being raped.

"Shhh, shhh, shhh…", Raven kissed my face all over and I wanted to cringe and yank my face away, but I didn't.

"That was very hard for you, I know…but you took it very well, my pet. You're very strong.", she complimented.

A sob forced its way out of my throat against my will but Raven was loving this. She loved breaking men and she enjoyed breaking me most of all, God knows why. Why are these sick women so attracted to _me_?

"Awwww…", she played with my tears, drawing a heart on my cheek as I tried to slow my breathing, "Let me feed you, my pet. That'll make you feel better."

She left the basement as I hung there, my arms killing me, my chest sore from the many tight ropes holding me afloat, my legs uselessly open and limp behind me.

All I could think was – I want to go home. I want Bella.

It was dim in here and there was no way to tell what time it was. It had to be getting late…I should be out of here soon. I once asked her what time it was during a session and HELL I'll never do that again. She liked to believe that I was enjoying my time with her and never wanted to leave.

Soon, she was coming back down the basement stairs with a plate full of shrimp, not breaded but cool and wet, as she preferred it.

"This is nice and light for your stomach, Edward.", she smiled at me, peeling the shell off a few of them.

My breathing was more under my control now and I tried to forget the pain as she brought the first shrimp to my lips.

"Lick.", she smiled.

I licked around the white shrimp, tasting its sweet juice but not daring to bite until she allowed me to. She was also testing me today, to make sure I remembered all her rules. I guessed so far I was doing pretty well.

"Good boy.", she talked to me like a dog, "Eat."

I gently took the shrimp into my mouth and chewed it without a word, glad for any rewards I could get, especially after the last hour I just went through.

"Good?", she asked me and I nodded. The food was always top quality here, just like the pain.

I swallowed, still not allowed to speak yet as she brought me over another shrimp, saying, "Eat."

Dylan came in with a large bucket of water, a huge yellow bath sponge floating on top. He walked around behind me and I heard water sloshing.

My body tensed as my eyes moved sideways, wondering what was going on in my blind spot.

"Relax, love…", Raven put another shrimp to my mouth and said, "Eat."

I took the shrimp into my teeth and Raven said, "The water is nice and hot. Dylan's going to give you a nice washing, that's all."

I winced at that and Raven laughed at my expression.

"I don't think my pet likes another man washing his body.", Raven kissed my cheek as the wet hot sponge was squeezed above my lower spine, a delightful steamy cascade of soapy water poured generously over my flesh, running down over my buttocks, and it felt so fucking good that I couldn't even hold in the moan that came out of me.

"My pet is spoiled, isn't he?", she said to me as I felt the sponge moving up and down the backs of my legs.

My eyes widened a bit and I shook my head.

"You want me and only me to do everything for you, don't you, pet?", she gave me another shrimp, adding, "Eat. I can't feed you and wash you at the same time, can I?"

I shook my head, praying she wasn't getting mad.

"And you do want to be nice and clean, don't you?", she asked as I nodded.

"So behave and let Dylan wash you.", she suggested, "Believe me, he gets no pleasure out of it. He does what he's told and so will you. Eat."

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

BPOV

"Eat.", Alice said to me as we sat in the food court, surrounded by bags, a slice of pizza staring up at me.

"I'm not that hungry.", I admitted, "I don't feel right. I'm not sick…but I just…don't feel right. Can you drive me home?"

Emmett and Jasper were talking to each other a couple feet away, in hushed voices, sitting at the table with us.

"What are you two whispering about?" Rosalie asked them before I could.

"Nothing.", Emmett smiled wide, like a kid caught stealing cookies, "Guy talk. Nosey woman!"

Rosalie play hit him and Jasper grinned at me weakly, making me even more nervous.

"What's the matter, Jasper?" I asked, half smiling.

"Nothing, Bella.", he shrugged, looking at his watch, "Just that…Emmett and I are working tonight and we should get back. It's after 5."

"Oh, okay." I jumped up, glad to see this mall day end so I could get home and get to some work before Edward got back.

I started picking up bags and so did Alice and in a minute we were walking towards the exit doors. I saw Emmett walking way ahead of us, on his cell phone, muttering quietly but still sounding pissed off.

He clicked his phone closed and became playful again, in a second, and that reminded me of Edward. I guess I was really no fun today because I was missing him so much. This felt like a wasted day that I could've had with him and even though I knew Edward said it was good for us to have a break from each other so I could think, I still hated being without him.

_We can't say I love you to each other anymore._

That is just depressing the hell out of me, too. We admitted our feelings for each other, but Edward had spoken what I feared was true. It didn't change anything. He still had to leave in 8 days.

I said I was going to find a way out for him. I can't even solve a rubik's cube.

Jesus, what am I going to do when our time is over if I can't live without him for one afternoon?

Alice dropped me off at my apartment and I went in alone, not really wanting any company tonight. Emmett and Jasper had come in one car to the mall together, so they quickly drove off after thanking us for a nice day. I suspected maybe they were late for work or something, they looked very tense and strange.

I told them to say hi to Edward for me at the club and they again looked fake and smiled and said, "Sure thing, Bella. See ya."

Something isn't right with them. Maybe it's a stripper thing. Maybe they didn't like Alice or Rosalie. Nah. We all had a fun day. Unless they were acting, like Edward does on his jobs.

Rosalie and Alice knew me well enough by now that when I wanted to be alone, I was best left alone, so they respected that.

The first thing I did, after tossing my bags onto my bed, was vacuum. The apartment was very neat and Edward did a fantastic job keeping it clean but when I get in this mood, I like to vacuum. I have no idea why, but it relaxes me.

So for ten minutes, I just stared at the vacuum as I moved it back and forth…back and forth…it lulls me…in a way. I thought about Edward alone at Fire, cleaning and painting. Maybe he'd get hot and have to take his shirt off.

Oh, Bella, you are pathetic. Stop it.

I glanced at the clock in the kitchen and it said 5:35pm. I should've eaten lunch. Now I'll be starving by the time Edward comes home to take me on our date.

A buzzing sound was coming from the vacuum cleaner and I noticed it was right against the counter bottom. I sighed and turned off the machine and pulled it backwards, feeling under it to see what got stuck in there.

I yanked out a long paper and saw an envelope. Oh, my letter from Charlie a couple days ago.

A flash came to mind, remembering my apartment rapist taking the mail out of my hand and tossing it over the counter. Oh, and there's my Lillian Vernon catalog too! They must've fallen under the counter and I had forgotten all about them.

I smoothed out the envelope and smiled at my Dad's handwriting. Whenever I was in the dumps, my Dad would find a way to talk to me. He strikes again.

Before I knew it, I was sitting on the sofa and opening the letter, wanting to hear about what was going on with him and hoping to forget my own problems for awhile.

I sat back and read:

_Hey Bells !_

_I'm sitting here at my desk, at 2:30am, bored out of my mind. I'm glad I live in a peaceful town, but sometimes I would love some action. _

_I'm not just writing to you because I'm bored, either, so don't think that. You're my girl and I always want to know how you are. _

_So, how are you? How's college life? How are your grades? _

_I hate how this letter sounds so far. It sounds like an interrogation, not a letter from a dad to his daughter. Sorry, Bells._

_Billy and I went fishing last weekend and you won't believe how many we caught. When you were little, we used to fish, remember? And we hardly caught anything. _

_Oh, by the way, I'm enclosing that background check you asked for on that Cullen guy that's dating Rosalie, if they're still dating, I know how fast Rosalie goes through boyfriends._

_You wanted to know about crimes and there was nothing there but then I checked other things. You can decide whether or not to tell Rosalie, but this poor guy is a widower, at the age of 26. Yikes. And he has a daughter, too. But for some reason she doesn't live with him. She lives with his wife's parents in Jacksonville, Florida. Ben and Angela Cheney._

_What a shame. There was an apartment fire. The little girl survived but not the mother. Tell Rosalie this might be too intense of a relationship for her. _

I put Charlie's letter aside and went to the other papers he had mailed. I had wanted Edward to tell me about this himself but I couldn't stop reading what I had before me.

There was a copy of an article about the fire. Edward's name and face was kept out of it but the title read, "Fireman dies saving little girl."

I read the whole article three times with tears in my eyes. It didn't give lots of detail but it seems the bottom few floors were on fire and a rooftop rescue was attempted when the father of this little girl called her on the phone from his cell and she answered it. The father and the firemen talked to the girl while firemen got to the roof of the building, leaping onto it from the building alongside it.

Then they harnessed a fireman and slowly lowered him down to the fire escape outside the little girl's apartment.

The fireman could see the little girl inside but she didn't know how to unlock the window to get out there. The father was telling her what to do but there was a problem with the window being stuck or something, according to the other firemen who were in contact with the one on the fire escape.

I ached, thinking of Edward on his cell phone trying to tell his daughter what to do to get out of there as the building burned before his eyes.

The fireman was about to tell the girl to stand back and he'd break the window but then tragedy struck.

That's when the first signs of fire appeared and the floor was burning, starting to cave in from the fire below it.

The fireman crashed through the window and had the little girl in his arms and were about to start being pulled up back to the roof when another explosion happened, setting both the fireman and the little girl aflame.

The firemen on the roof kept pulling them up and the fireman never let go of the little girl, even though the harness rope nearly burned through before theyreached the rooftop.

When they got there, the fireman was dead, the little girl alive but severely burned.

Oh God, I pray that Edward couldn't hear their screams on the phone or the radios…Jesus, he probably did.

I kept imagining the whole thing, hearing Edward screaming and I was crying, sobbing from the pictures in my head.

Edward, I love you…but I have no idea how to help you. I have to recommend someone else to be his doctor. It can't be me. I'm not good enough and he deserves the very best.

I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes, rewinding my tape and picking up my notebook, going to a clean page, about to write about this new information.

I stopped it and heard Edward's voice moaning and growling as my own voice gasped out, the sounds of flesh slamming into the counter over and over again. The old me would've been terrified and hurriedly stopped the tape…but I had already changed in the last few days.

I wanted to hear it…and I wasn't ashamed. I was making love to the man of my dreams and it wasn't dirty at all to me. Especially wonderful were Edward's sounds and breaths, even as we finished and came down from our blissful interlude, I could hear his mouth kissing my back.

Sitting back in the sofa, I hugged my arms around myself and closed my eyes, remembering…dreaming…longing.

"Bella…", his voice whispered to me from the tape as his mouth made more sweet kissing sounds on my body. I could hear my own ragged breathing very faintly.

After that, I listened until I heard my own voice a few minutes later gasping and saying, "The tape player is still on." And then nothing – a hard click sound.

I stared out the window, knowing that was our last session on tape and then I heard Edward's voice saying, "Edward – session five. Bella…this is me. Hopefully, you won't hear this until after I've gone…so…I can say anything I want to say…"

I sat up, frowning but riveted.

He cleared his throat and said, "I want to thank you…for caring about me. I know now that you do. I hope…I KNOW…that you'll be a wonderful psychiatrist someday. You have the gift. Not that I would know, you're the only shrink I've ever talked to, but…I can see in your eyes how much you care. I'm sorry I'm so difficult for you…too hard to reach. But you tried your best. I am thankful for that."

He paused then said, "So here's what I can never tell you to your face, Dr. Bella. I deserved to lose my wife. I deserved to lose my baby. I wasn't good enough for them and I left them when they needed me most. I let them burn."

His voice was crying and it was killing me to listen to this and not have him here to hold him. Was I asleep when he recorded this? GOD!

"A glass of milk and $27.00…", he wept quietly, "That's what drove me out of my house that night. God, I am nothing, Bella, NOTHING! Can't you see that yet? I should have died that night. I DID die that night. We never should have even met if things were the way they should be. I'm sorry that you had to get mixed up with me. I'm sorry. I'm not good enough for you, either…and I never could be. Please just…forget me. Pretend it was all some dream or something."

He sniffed and took a couple of breaths and said, "Be safe and be happy. Those are two things you could never be with me. I'm sorry if I ever hurt you, Bella. I didn't want to. It was very amazing…being part of your life for awhile. Thank you…for trying to fix me. Goodbye."

Tears rolling down my cheeks, I heard the click where Edward stopped recording and I stood up, going to my purse for my cell phone.

I scrolled to Edward's name and hit it. It rang nearby and I followed the musical ring tone to his duffel bag, grabbing it and putting it on the bed.

I pulled everything out of the bag before I even looked closely at it.

Then I had Edward's cell phone, a cop uniform, handcuffs, a gun that wasn't loaded and some t-shirts and jeans…and a little notebook.

I didn't care about his privacy anymore, I was afraid for him. Afraid he might try to hurt himself, not sure when he actually taped this.

Opening his notebook, I flipped through to a blank page then went back one page.

Saturday – 12pm – Raven.

I remember him mentioning Raven…

_Wanna hear some scary stories? I can tell you about Raven. _

"Painting at the club, huh?", I was shaking as I scrolled down from Edward's name to Emmett's, hitting his name to call next, "You little liar."

I looked at the clock and now it was about 6:45pm.

"Bella, what's up, girl?", he answered with a very happy sounding voice.

"Emmett, where is Edward?" I got right to it, not in the mood to be lied to at the moment.

"Ummm, he's downstairs.", Emmett said.

"You're lying." I said sternly.

"How do you know?" Emmett asked, not admitting anything.

"I'm a psychiatrist, that's how I know.", I shot back, "Don't lie to me, I want to know where he is _now_."

"Bella, that's his business.", Emmett said, his tone serious now, "If you want to know, ask him."

"Emmett, I'm worried about him!", I let my panicked voice out now, "I need to know he's okay, I found his book and it says Raven today at 12 – and he said he'd be home around 7. Emmett, that's seven hours! He told me that she likes hurting him!"

"Alright, Bella, hold on.", he sounded like he was moving and maybe going out to the back alley of the club, "Okay, I can talk now. Listen, this is what I know. He should've left Raven's place at 5. He hasn't called Victoria yet to check in so that means he's still there. I called Victoria from the mall at 5 to see if he got out but she said no. I've been waiting to hear from him but so far, nothing. And Victoria said she won't call after Edward until tomorrow. She says he's being…punished."

"Because of what I did to her last night!", I finished, tears of rage in my eyes.

"Yea.", he sounded so sad.

"Bitch!", I spat out, pacing the floor as my eye caught the police uniform on my bed.

"Give me the address.", I ordered Emmett, grabbing a pen and going to my kitchen.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

EPOV

Raven held the chains over her head and used them to rise herself up and down as she fucked me again. I was laying on a wooden table and she was on top of me, impaled on my cock as my hands balled into fists at my sides, my wrists cuffed to a leather strap fastened around my hips, my ankles cuffed in leather also, together, a chain going from those cuffs up to the ceiling.

Screaming out hard, she was coming. I closed my eyes and willed myself to forget the pain and let myself orgasm, too, before punishment was delivered upon me again.

I panted harder, thrusting my pelvis up and down until I was about to come.

"Raven, may I please come?", I asked as instructed.

"Not yet.", she kept bouncing mercilessly on me as I groaned, clenching my eyes, trying to hold it back.

After a few seconds, I could feel it about to explode out of me and I heard myself whimpering, "Please…please….."

"Now.", she said, allowing me as I screamed, my body jerking as I ejaculated into the condom I was wearing.

A few moments went by before she moved and spoke to me again.

"Mmmm, my good little fucker.", she stroked my face as my eyes half opened, "That's the tenth time in a row. You _are_ special."

She kissed my chest and began to move herself up off of me and commented, "See, this is why I want you all for my own. But Victoria wants me to wait a bit. So I'll wait. I want you…and I'm going to have you. Would you like to belong to me, pet, full time?"

"Yes, Raven.", I closed my eyes and breathed, feeling too weak to even talk very well.

"I knew it.", Raven sounded morose, "She _is_ keeping us apart."

"So tired…", I half mumbled as Raven came back over to me, removing my condom and cleaning me with the sponge and new hot water.

She ignored my babbling and said, "I hate releasing you. I just can't ever seem to do it. It's like…you're meant to be mine. You _are_ mine."

"Raven…", I breathed, "Please…I'll come back, I swear. But if you don't release me when it's time, Victoria will send someone here."

"She hasn't called yet and it's after 8.", Raven informed, "She doesn't really care about you like I do. Just stay with me."

Her lips kissed mine and I tried to kiss back but I was so weak, so worn out.

This is where Raven and I always have our problem. When it's time to let me go, she doesn't want to. Eventually, as I tell her it's time to let me go, she takes her anger out on me. This is how things escalated last time.

So I decided not to press too hard this time on her letting me go. Maybe she'd get bored of me in a couple more hours and release me on her own.

"You'll like it here with me.", she kissed my chin and went over to a handle in a wooden post to my left near the upper part of the wall.

She turned it and I heard chain slowly grinding. I peeked down and started feeling the chain connected to my ankles tighten and begin to raise my feet up off the table a bit.

"Raven…", I looked at her a bit nervously as she kept turning the handle, making the chains completely lift my legs off the table now until only my shoulder blades and head were on the surface.

Raven stopped turning the lever and easily moved the table out from under me, allowing me to fall back until I now hung upside down, hands still pinned at my sides.

Her lips met my stomach and she kissed me there, saying, "Sleep, my angel."

She sat on the floor under me and a couple feet back, smiling at my face and humming a song to me, like a lullaby, to sing me to sleep.

I shuddered, knowing anything I wanted to say now would just provoke her. I was going to have to play nice and be quiet until Victoria decided to let me out of this.

Bella is going to be so worried about me. Shit. Emmett will take care of her.

Closing my eyes, I pretended to fall asleep as she sang her eerie little melody.

Later, after Dylan had convinced Raven that letting me hang upside down would kill me eventually, I was placed in a small cage, very like a giant bird cage, my legs dangling out of the slats as my body leaned back against the iron posts, my eyes trying to close in some form of half sleep as my cage dangled from the ceiling, my arms wrapped around my body, trying for a bit of warmth.

I was still naked but a lot more comfortable than before. Cages didn't scare me, they calmed me down.

Cages meant no one could get in here to do anything to me. Cages meant rest. All the horrible things happen outside the cage. A cage is where you go in between your torture sessions, while the Mistress is sleeping.

Raven must have gone to bed. I wonder what time it is. I wonder if I'll get out of here tomorrow.

"HANDS UP, POLICE!!", I heard a woman's voice screaming suddenly from upstairs and I jumped out of my skin, listening and sitting up.

"Don't you fucking move or I'll blow your head off!!", the woman shouted again as my brow furrowed.

"Bella?", I felt my chest tighten. It better NOT be. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part.

"Take me to the basement." I heard the Bella-like voice demand, then yell, "NOW!!"

I heard movement up above me and my arms lowered over my penis, in case company really was coming down here.

Finally, the basement door opened and light poured down in here, not touching my cage as footsteps descended the steps.

It was hard for me to see anything, being in the dark then having the bright light suddenly.

I could see Dylan's silhouette and another small silhouette next to him, wearing a policeman's hat.

"She bought him.", Dylan said to the cop behind him, "He's a male prostitute, he's here willingly."

"Shut the fuck up! Let him out.", the woman's voice barked, shoving Dylan towards my cage.

Dylan uncranked the wench, lowering my cage to the table below. Then he unlocked it with his key and took a step or two back.

Another large cop's shadow came down the stairs and he said, to the woman officer, "Cuff this guy upstairs, let me handle this, alright?"

The smaller officer went up with Dylan but I was still sitting in the cage, not moving.

The cop came up to the cage, towering over me and lit his flashlight under his face, smiling, and saying, "Hey, Bro."

"Emmett…", I whispered, looking around, "What are you doing?"

"Breaking you out.", he informed.

I still hadn't moved.

"Where's Raven?", I asked.

"Cuffed, upstairs.", Emmett smiled, "It's safe, Edward, you can come out."

I started to crawl out of the cage and Emmett tossed clothes on the table next to the empty cage.

"I brought some of my clothes for you to put on.", Emmett said, "Wasn't sure where yours would be and didn't want Bella seeing you…you know…this way."

"That _**WAS**_ Bella?!", I asked, sounding a little angry, but it was more like worried, concerned…stupefied. And she wants to counsel crazy people? She's one of them! In fact, she's their leader!

"Oh yea.", Emmett smirked, "This was all her idea. She had your cop uniform and cuffs and gun. She was going to come here on her own but I couldn't let her do that. You'd kill me, first of all."

Putting on Emmett's sweatpants, I agreed, "Definitely."

"And second…it wasn't right for Victoria to leave you hanging here again, especially after last time.", Emmett waited while I slowly put the big, soft shirt on, wincing a little as it touched my back.

"I'd never let you go through that shit again.", Emmett continued, "Don't forget, I've been down here before, too, you know."

"I know.", I almost had tears in my eyes, and I had to hug the guy, "Thank you, Em."

"Come on, let's get outta here before Bella beats Raven over the head with her nightstick.", Emmett led the way up the stairs.

"Raven didn't see my face.", Emmett told me as we got to the top of the stairs, "Bella got her while she slept. The guy I never saw before. He must be kinda new. So we're in the clear."

Just then, as I moved towards the kitchen to get my clothes and car keys, Bella came running in, facing me, stopping when she saw me. I froze, seeing her eyes reflect so many things: hurt, worry, anger, betrayal, love, relief…

She plucked the keys out of my hand and looked at Emmett.

"Edward is going with me. You can follow us in your car, alright?", Bella asked Emmett, completely ignoring me.

"Uh, yea.", he hesitated, looking at me.

I nodded at him, silently telling him it was alright as we left the kitchen exit.

Emmett pointed out my car to Bella and she opened the driver side, getting in as I took my seat in the passenger side.

She started the engine and looked behind her, taking off her cop hat and throwing it in the back seat before she peeled out, going down the concrete path that would take her out of the estate and onto the road.

When I finally had the guts to look up into her face she was crying and speeding at the same time.

"Bella, do you want me to drive?" I tried to ask but I got cut off in mid sentence.

"I AM SO MAD AT YOU RIGHT NOW!!", she shouted, the tears falling down her face.

"I know."

"HOW THE HELL CAN YOU LOOK RIGHT INTO MY FACE AND TELL ME SOME BULLSHIT ABOUT PAINTING AT THE CLUB WHEN YOU KNOW DAMN WELL YOU HAD AN APPOINTMENT TO BE TORTURED ALL DAY BY THAT PSYCHO BITCH!!"

"Well, I was—"

"AND THEN YOU HAVE YOUR SO CALLED FRIENDS AND MINE KEEP ME BUSY SHOPPING FOR SEXY UNDERWEAR ALL DAY WHILE YOU'RE BEING BRUTALIZED?!!!"

"Hey, they ARE my friends, Emmett just risked his ass to help you get me out of there!", I tried to at least make that point clear.

I didn't blame her for screaming and being angry, but I couldn't let her say Emmett and Jasper weren't true friends.

Bella was crying harder and I almost suggested driving myself again.

"I JUST DON'T GET IT, EDWARD, I REALLY DON'T!!", she wept and yelled at the same time, "I CARE ABOUT YOU, I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO SAVE YOU BUT I CAN'T DO IT ALONE! YOU HAVE TO WANT IT, TOO! AND I DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU WANT IT. YOU'VE GOTTEN USED TO THIS LIFE SOMEWHERE ALONG THE LINE!! ONE DAY, YOU'RE GOING TO DIE IN A BASEMENT JUST LIKE THAT ONE – DON'T YOU SEE THAT?!"

I laid back in the car seat, aching all over and replied, "I told you, Bella. My few hours in there today paid me 50 grand! Unless I rob a bank, there's no other way for me to get that kind of money that fast. You don't know – my daughter needs it."

"I _**do**_ know!", she said, wiping her right eye, and she pulled the car over hard along the side of the road, staring right into my scared face.

"I know about the fire and I heard your message on the tape. And I am telling you right now, the lies stop here! You will tell me everything I want to know, you will be honest with me no matter what, and you will do as I say from now on during our time together! Or you can get out now!!", she shouted.

"This is my car.", I almost smiled but held it in.

Only Bella could make me smile after the day I've been through.

She looked surprised by that fact for a second then frowned more.

"I don't care whose car it is!!", she barked, "Are you with me or are you out?"

I didn't need long to decide.

"I'm with _**you**_, Bella.", I said, sincerely, honestly, completely.

A tear fell from her eye and she turned the wheel, going back onto the street again, at a more normal pace now.

Finally, she spoke and her voice was small and frail sounding.

"Are you okay, Edward?", she cried, "Do you want to go to the hospital?"

"I'm fine, Bella.", I hated seeing her cry, "No hospital. There would be questions."

"What did she…", Bella began to ask and then cried again.

"Please don't cry, Bella.", I felt tears in my own eyes now, "I'll be fine. I just need a long hot bath…"

"Alright.", she nodded, trying to stop crying.

"And a night in bed.", I added.

"Okay.", she said.

"And my Bella.", I added, last but not least.

She sobbed again and we had to pull over again so I could hold her…and she could hold me…carefully. Poor Emmett behind us, he must've thought we were nuts or something.

We cried without words for awhile and then Bella started us driving again, wanting to get me home to take care of me.

It was going to be a rough night. I knew when Bella saw my body she would be sick but I thought maybe I could hide it - No. I can't hide from Bella anymore. No matter what, I owe her the truth. The ugly, bare, truth.

I wanted to tell her I was sorry, so sorry for hurting her this way, which is exactly why I didn't want to tell her where I was going this morning, but now I see how wrong I was thinking I could shield her from it. Bella is not a child and she's not stupid. She loves me – and that is stupid, but it's not her fault. I was so wrong to lie to her. I would never do that again.

Once we got to Bella's place, Emmett was giving us all his favorite things to treat my wounds and he asked if we wanted him to stay.

"I'm alright.", I rubbed my eyes, "I'm tired, mostly, and a little sore. It'll heal."

"Call me, Bella, if you need me.", Emmett hugged her and she thanked him again for going with her to rescue me.

Even I hugged him again before he left.

After he left, Bella turned and went into the bathroom, starting to run a bath. I slowly followed her and hugged my arms around Emmett's large shirt, glad it covered most of my skin.

The water was steaming as it began to fill the tub and Bella wiped her eyes, taking a deep breath and looking at me with so much love and pain in her eyes it made my eyes cry again.

"I'm here for you, Edward.", she said, not reaching out to grab me and I was glad for that.

"I know, Bella.", I heard my voice crack.

She sniffed and stood up before me, not crowding me, giving me my space.

"This is going to be hard for both of us.", she said openly, "But we'll get through it together, alright?"

"Yes, Bella.", I shivered a little.

"Alright.", Bella put a hand to her stomach, then took it away, "Would you like me to help you undress?"

"I'll do it.", I said quietly, looking at the floor.

"Okay.", Bella closed her eyes and another tear fell but she didn't wipe it away.

"Would you like me to leave you alone?", she asked.

"No.", I heard my voice answer, "I don't want to hurt you anymore but…I don't want to be alone right now, either."

"It's alright, Edward.", Bella sniffed again, "I want to stay. I want to take care of you. I told you, I'm with you to the end. I mean that."

And with all my emotion, I answered, "I know you do."

Slowly, I began to take Emmett's shirt off and watched her eyes as I raised my arms up, slipping it off. To her credit, she didn't make a face or scream out. I could see lots of dark red lines, welts mostly, and not many cuts, from the single tail whip. They would take a couple days to fade a bit, over a week to disappear altogether, from my flesh, at least.

But they were ugly marks. I knew that.

These same marks were surely on my back and ass, too, as well as my inner thighs as I carefully took off the thankfully big soft sweatpants I was wearing.

Bella sniffed a lot and wiped her eyes as I stepped into the tub, closing my eyes and cringing a bit as I sat in the clear water.

Then she was dipping a washcloth into the water and with the finesse of a skilled doctor, began to apply hot pressure with the cloth to certain marks on my back, letting the water do its work as my eyes closed, tears of relief and emotion moving slowly along the peaks and valleys of my face as she once again, showed me how deep and true her love was.

Anyone can say the words I love you – but Bella could say it without opening her mouth to me. She said it to me all night long. With the strength of 100 men she stayed with me for the rest of the night, washing me, drying me, massaging Emmett's medicines into my skin while I shivered all over. Her sweet voice telling me she loved me and that I was going to be alright was always there.

She was going through Hell with me and didn't complain once.

She dressed me in the nightshirt she gave me and long flannel pants and covered me in blankets, laying beside me and stroking my cheek like I was the last man on earth and so precious to her.

She talked me to sleep with stories of her summer camp adventures as a kid, taking me to a young, innocent place I so desperately needed just then. I heard tales of first kisses, canoe rides beneath the moon, and pranks against mean camp counselors.

At last my eyes began to close in the dark beside her and I said, "Bella…I know that I said we couldn't say I love you anymore to each other, but is it okay if I take that back?"

It sounded like she was smiling when she answered, "If you want to, if it's the truth, yes."

"I want to take it back.", I said, surely.

"Alright.", she said, "You have it back."

"Bella?"

"Yes, Edward?"

"I love you."

"Thank you, Edward.", Bella's voice said softly, "For being honest."

A pause went by between us and my frown was creasing my forehead.

"Bella?"

"Yes, Edward?"

I paused again.

"Do you…love me…still?"

I am so needy. After all she did for me tonight, I still _need_ to hear it…still want to hear it.

"No way.", she scoffed, "You're a big pain in the ass."

A very long pause rose up between us then.

"Edward?"

"Yes, Bella?"

"Of course I love you.", she said.

I smiled and my whole body felt magically healed right at that moment.

"Stupid.", she added.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

See next chapter soon!

YES! Edward is FREE!!

From Raven, anyway.

Love you!

WinndSinger


	17. The Lucky Daisy

17

Sunday, Day 7

BPOV

A small piece of me almost thought, as I opened my eyes, that last night had all been a terrible dream. I still can't believe I dressed up as a cop and broke into Raven's house last night. It was the first heroic thing I'd ever done. I rescued Edward from the jaws of evil! It was the kind of thing I'd always see in a movie and would tell myself, I would probably do that if I were her. But I was never really sure deep inside, if I would risk it all for someone else.

I never had any adventure or conflict in my life before. I could hardly complain at a restaurant and in the last two days, I've assaulted two different women. Wow. What's happened to me?

Edward.

It happened.. I DID do it. Charlie would be so proud. Or would he?

I'm so glad Edward is here with me now, instead of shivering naked in that cage at Raven's basement. I would be a wreck at this point, not knowing where he was or what was happening to him.

He looks so warm now and peaceful and I couldn't help smiling as I just studied his face…who could harm something so beautiful? And there are those little puckered lips again.

I have to kiss those.

Leaning in a bit, I ever so gently touched my mouth to his, loving the sensation of his petal-soft skin.

"Mmmmm…", his voice was colored with pleasure.

His eyes stayed closed but his lips kissed out at the air, wanting more.

I smiled, coming back and giving him more, but just gentle caresses with my lips.

Then I kissed each eyelid, forehead…and the little dent in his chin.

His lips smiled contentedly, the eyes still resting closed.

"I'm still mad at you.", I said in a firm voice.

And then his eyes opened, looking ashamed.

"Well, you have to forgive me.", he said very plainly.

"I do?"

"I can make you forgive me, Bella.", his smile became a devilish smirk as he began to sit up.

"No, no." I grinned, easing him back onto the bed, "Today, you're _my_ prisoner. You will be resting and behaving yourself all day. It's all part of my – I care about you – fetish."

"But, Bella, it's so nice outside …", he sounded like a little boy, "Don't you wanna come out and play with me? We could go to another bookstore…or maybe a supermarket…cleanup on aisle 9…"

His fingers were trying to worm their way under my pajama top but I pulled away.

"Edward, down.", I smiled at his playfulness as I got out of bed, "I'm going to make you some breakfast and you're going to be good and stay in bed today. Period."

He growled and pouted a little as I went into the kitchen and began to make him a wonderful meal. I moved the TV into the bedroom and let Edward watch his beloved cartoons while I worked. Once in awhile, I heard him laugh and was again amazed at how fast Edward bounced back from things.

Therapy can wait until tomorrow. He needs a break, a nice whole day and night to relax and heal. I noticed already he's trying to play the part of sexually attentive lover. Is that real or is he avoiding what happened last night? Where is his anger? Where is his fear?

I have seven days to find a way out for him. I'm not letting him go back.

As we sat in bed together, eating and watching TV, Edward's cell phone rang next to him on the nightstand.

He quickly picked it up and peeked, looking at me, holding a finger up and saying, "Don't say a word."

He flipped it open and said, "Yes, Victoria?"

After a pause, he said, "Yes, I know."

His mouth became a hard line and he listened, then said, "I'm sorry."

Unbelievable. He's apologizing to her?! After she left him there with that nut last night?! I have real work to do this week with him in therapy.

"Yes. I'll be there.", he said, looking into my tense face.

He winced and then flipped his phone closed, looking up at me from under his lashes.

"Does she know?", I asked, unable to breathe yet.

"No, at least as far as she's telling me.", Edward said, "She was just mad I didn't call her after I left Raven's place."

"Maybe no one found them yet.", I wondered.

"No, Raven lives in a mansion. There are maids, gardeners, servants. I'm sure they're free by now.", Edward looked pensive, "Maybe Raven doesn't want to get me into trouble."

"What was that I'll be there part?", I asked, already knowing.

He looked at me and tensed a little, "She said to make sure I'm in my room next Monday morning at dawn."

I hate her.

"Do you think she really knows and isn't saying anything?", I felt paranoid now. I didn't want Edward hurt any more because of something retarded I had done.

"No.", Edward took a sip of his juice, "If she really knew, she'd be here to take me home herself. I think we're safe, Bella. Please don't worry."

"Edward, that's not home, with _her_.", I said clearly, my eyes dead serious as I looked at him, "You're home _now_."

He smiled at me and opened his mouth to speak but no words came. His eyes twinkled with traces of tears and he kissed me, cradling my face in his hands.

"I love you, Bella.", he whispered, as if afraid to let anyone else hear it.

So I tried not to worry, but I still did. Anyway, we had a very pleasant day just watching movie marathons and laying in bed, side by side, holding hands, cuddling and kissing like teenagers during the commercials.

I was letting Edward eat junk food and this seemed like a big treat for him. Another discovery: Edward loves Doritos, Cool Ranch style.

"How am I doing at this I care about you game?", he asked later, as he moved his nose up the slope of mine, laying on his side, his arms curling around my back.

"Pretty good so far.", I kissed the tip of his nose, "You haven't tried to escape once."

"You make a very pleasant jail, Bella.", he smiled, "I like doing time here."

His mouth opened and lured mine inside it and in seconds, I was kissing him with raw lust and he was matching my intensity.

How does he always do this to me? I planned on being innocent and resting today. And now I'm in heat again.

I moaned as his hand slipped in the side of my pajama pants and slid half of them off my ass and down my thigh a bit, his fingers digging into my left ass cheek. Before I knew it, his head disappeared under the covers, and then I felt his hot, wet tongue and mouth playing along my lower stomach.

A knock sounded on the door and I groaned, about to move when from under the covers, teeth bit into my hipbone and his voice gritted, "Don't you dare."

I laughed and winced and struggled a little and said, "Someone's at the door."

"They'll go away.", he said before his thick, hot tongue moved up near my belly button. SHIT!! That feels so fucking good!

"Edward.", I felt him move my body and lay me on my back, holding my wrists at my sides as his nose moved my top up, his mouth nibbling and licking my ribs.

"Bella…" a man's voice called from outside the door and my head popped up, and Edward stopped kissing and biting me under the blanket.

"Who's that?", Edward asked.

"Not sure.", I frowned, getting out of bed as I moved to the door, putting the chain across the lock and opening the door a crack, hiding my body behind it.

"James- I mean, Dr. Collier, hi.", I smiled as he stood there with two Starbucks coffees in his hands.

"Good afternoon, Bella.", he smiled, "I was just on my way to the MOMA and thought maybe you'd like to come along."

MOMA stands for Museum of Metropolitan Art. This is a first. He never just showed up here before. What's that all about?

"Oh, thanks, but, no.", I said, "I'm not feeling very well. Kinda just laying around in bed today."

"Oh I see.", James' eyes moved up behind me.

I turned and saw Edward there, arms crossed, giving James a look that could freeze water.

My head spun back to the crack in the doorway and I felt my cheeks turn hot.

"Sorry, Bella.", James gave a nod and glanced at Edward again and turned to walk away, "See you at school."

"Okay, bye.", I said, closing the door, spinning around, "What're you doing? I said stay in bed today."

"So that's James.", he raised a brow, "He's not _that_ horrible looking."

"Why did you do that?", I half smiled, "Are you jealous?"

"Just letting the other wolves know that I'm here, that's all, little Bella sheep. All men are predators, searching for prey. And James can keep searching.", he grinned, tossing me over his shoulder and taking me back to bed.

Emmett checked in later, calling Edward on his cell phone as we had pizza for lunch in bed. (Edward commented that he'd have to work out for two hours instead of one tomorrow because of all the great junk food.)

After Edward hung up, he told me that Jasper stayed at Fire last night after Emmett left and covered for him, telling Victoria that a customer requested Emmett in a private room. Emmett said that everything seemed quiet with Victoria right now, and if anything suspicious happens, he would call us right away.

I checked Edward's lashes, front and back, and applied more ointment to each one, after placing very cautious kisses upon them, of course. I noticed Edward was remarkably silent as I did this and after a long time, he spoke.

"No one ever took such care of me before.", he said quietly, staring down at the blankets.

"Well, you've been neglected.", I said, using one of his more brilliant lines, "But I'm here now."

Three o'clock arrived and Edward reached for his cell phone.

"It's time for me to make my call.", he said, staring at the phone in his hand, again, more quiet than normal.

"I'll go for a little walk or something.", I grabbed my jeans, "You stay in bed, though."

I went towards the bathroom to change and check my hair in the mirror but Edward said, "Wait."

"What's the matter?", I spun around, seeing his eyes were closed as he held his phone with both hands, "Are you alright?"

I thought maybe something hurt or was bleeding.

"I'm fine, Bella.", he opened his eyes and looked at me.

Looking at him, I was confused and waited to hear what he wanted.

"Would you…", he looked deeper into my eyes, "like to stay? You don't have to go."

He wanted me to stay while he made his phone call? Really? This is a big deal. I certainly wouldn't speak to who ever it was he was calling, but him asking me to stay and hear it…showed so much trust. After last night, I thought his trust capacity was shattered and he'd never let his walls down with me again. I was so glad to be wrong about that. I nearly cried.

"I would like to, if you want me to.", I inched closer and closer to the bed.

"I want you, Bella.", he gave me a small smile and he patted my side of the bed, offering me a seat beside him.

I turned off the TV and sat down and Edward began to scroll down his list of numbers.

"So…", I took a breath, "Who are we calling?"

"My daughter.", he informed with a soft voice, as if he were saying a prayer, adding, "Kaitlyn…Katie."

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

"Edward – session six.", I was saying later that night after dinner. Again, Edward had asked for his session, and wanted to try it without the blindfold or scarf around the wrists.

I was glad, too, because after seeing him in that cage at Raven's, I don't think I could've even done it to him.

"Hi Edward." I smiled at him, admiring him so much. He was being so brave and I had really enjoyed listening to little Katie's voice on the phone earlier.

She mostly talked about her day, spent at a carnival in town. She got to ride the pony ride twice, had lots of cotton candy, and petted a bunny. The one thing that hurt me to hear, and I know it hurt Edward, too, even though he acted used to it, was when her tiny little voice asked when he was coming home.

"Soon, sweetie.", he had said as I grinned at him, but on the inside, I wanted to scream.

But at least one more good thing came from me hearing the call. Now I had this sweet little voice in my head, wanting her Daddy, to drive me harder to find Edward his way out.

"Hi Dr. Bella.", he responded, smiling at me in my pajamas, sitting in my chair, trying to act all professional.

"I want to say something before we go any further, okay?" I spoke gently, getting a nod from Edward.

"You went through a terrible ordeal yesterday.", I got it out there, "What happened to you was evil, brutal, and savage. And today you're smiling. This morning, I heard you laughing at cartoons."

He paused and shrugged, "It was a funny one."

"What I'm saying is…", I pointed out, "You seem to come back very quickly from things. Do you block it all out or do you forget it?"

"I have to forget it.", he moved his finger up and down the edge of the sofa cushion he was sitting on, "It's part of the job. I don't have time to cry over it and I'd never be allowed to lay in bed all day after a day with someone like Raven. "

"I want you to say some things out loud.", I said, "Okay?"

"Okay.", he didn't look bothered by this.

"I am _someone_.", I stated, raising my eyes to his.

He looked down for a second and I added, "And look at me when you say it. And mean it."

"I am someone.", he said, not sounding very sure of that phrase as his eyes half stayed on mine.

"Again." I firmly pushed with my voice.

"I am…someone.", he repeated, sounding less confidant than the first time.

"I matter.", I said, wanting him to repeat that next.

Edward sighed and looked at me with hurt eyes.

"Bella, this is stupid.", he muttered, struggling inside again, avoiding my eyes.

"What's stupid, Edward?"

"Having me repeat things that aren't true won't make me believe them.", he confessed, "I'm a fucking slave, I don't matter at all. I'm _no one_."

Here we were, back at step one again. We keep hitting this wall. I want it gone. I had to break through it. Edward couldn't be saved if he truly felt he was a slave and worth nothing.

"You're Katie's father, aren't you?", I asked and watched his eyes flame over and look up into mine.

There is the anger. This is the moment I didn't want to happen yet, but has to happen to wipe the polite smile off his face. Maybe it was good that it's happening now, not giving him much time after Raven's day to recover and pretend it all away.

"I'm not that, either, anymore.", Edward almost sneered, "Ben is Katie's father now."

"Well, that's probably best, since you have no self worth, how can you teach her any?", I began to ignite that flame inside him.

He began to answer, his eyes squinting and his voice saying, "I don't think---"

"I mean, how can you teach her to be strong and defend herself against all the evil predators of the world when you just smile, lay down and let them feed on you and lick your bones?", I asked, hiding my feelings for him and hating it. I had to be Dr. Bella now, like it or not.

"I told you, I—", he was frowning fully now, not liking what I had to say.

"What if Raven or Victoria someday got their hands on Katie?", I asked, "Would you kneel down and say, Yes, Victoria, then?"

"SHUT UP BELLA!!", he leapt to his feet and roared, tears and rage burning in his eyes.

"Now! Say it!!", I stood and grabbed his arms and almost shook him a little.

"I MATTER!!", he shouted, shaking a little, "I AM someone…"

"Good! Stay with me, Edward.", I grabbed the scarf and quickly put it around his eyes, making the one knot behind his head.

I closed my eyes and gave his cheek a light slap, saying, "You worthless slut."

"What do you say, Edward?", I gave his other cheek a little tap, "Come on, I'm Victoria…right here in front of you. Talk to me."

I tapped the other cheek again and he flinched.

"No…", he shivered all over, "Don't, Bella."

"I'm not Bella. And where'd the anger go so fast?", I asked, "You can let it out, Edward, don't be afraid. It's okay. I'm Victoria and I want you to answer me. NOW."

"Stop.", his voice was quiet again and I was getting mad. I wanted his anger.

"Pretend Katie can hear us now.", I tapped his face again as his face half turned to the left, "Use that in your mind every time someone is hurting you. See yourself as Katie's father, not a slave. I am Victoria. I want you to answer whatever you're feeling. Let your anger out. It's killing you."

I slapped his face and sneered like Victoria would, "Time to fuck me now, slut."

"Stop!", his mouth frowned more and his voice was louder.

"I don't take orders from you, you little whore, I said FUCK ME!!" I yelled and slapped his face harder.

At this, he let out a deep growl and out came this lion voice that I never heard him use before scream out, "GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF ME!!"

Ooooh. YES!

"Good…good, Edward…shhhh…", I said, holding his hands and kissing them as they trembled in mine, "Sit down here…careful…it's okay…shhhh…"

I eased him back onto the sofa and was about to take the blindfold off him when he spoke again.

"I hate you.", he sneered from a dark, ancient place in his gut, "I hate your face, your body, your voice, and even your _smell_…I HATE YOU VICTORIA. I hate you…"

The venom in his voice was clear and I knew he'd never said these words before. I was so relieved to hear him voice this. It's a big step forward. I am again amazed by Edward's openness, his willingness to try during my sessions. In only a few days, he's come so far. I think deep down he's always wanted help but never admitted it…until now.

"I love you…I love you…" I whispered as I held and rocked him. I felt his hands slip around my waist and touch my back, tightening.

"Good, Edward…so good.", I whispered, closing my eyes.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

EPOV

Monday, Day 8

I slept like a baby last night. I think Bella has some kind of a spell on me or something. And last night's session was just pure genius. I still can't believe it worked, but for a few seconds, I actually felt Victoria in front of me, slapping me around, as she loves to. How did Bella know that? It couldn't be just a lucky guess.

Even now, I feel like I really told her off last night. Although, if I had, I'd be in the cage today, bleeding down my back.

I was dressed and feeling great this morning after my day of leisure yesterday. I told Bella we were going out to have some fun today, away from therapy and Fire, and Victoria and school.

I just wanted to be Edward today and take Bella on a day long date in the city. I have a week off and I don't intend to waste a second of it. I would be taking my girl out.

Wearing my jeans and a gray sweatshirt with the collar and sleeves cut off, I checked in the full length mirror to make sure my scars weren't showing on my arms and they were well hidden.

Bella finally emerged, wearing a little pair of red cotton shorts and a cute little white tank top. Jesus, she's sexy, even in casual clothes.

My leer and growl let her know I approved of her look today and finally, we were outside, in the breeze and sunshine, and I drove my car with all the windows open, blasting my music and feeling so great I wanted to scream it out loud.

Bella complained at first that her hair was getting messed up but then she let herself go and let it fly out around her face…and she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. I mentally took that picture and stored it in my heart for later, for when I needed to see something pure and magical and true. I placed it right within the set of pictures I had there of my daughter and Tanya. It fit in very nicely there.

We went to Central Park and walked around for hours, just talking about fun everyday things, nothing too heavy. I liked it. I felt normal. We ate hot dogs and popcorn, ice cream, all while sitting on the grass enjoying the warmth and peace all around us, under the light shade of tall oak tree.

"Have you ever made love on the grass, Bella?", I asked her, my eyes not letting her avoid me with their stare, my fingers moving over the high, fresh wet blades of green beside me.

"I think I've told you, I did it _once_ before you.", she blushed a little, smiling back at me, "And that was in the back seat of a car."

"So, then, no.", I answered.

"No.", she hugged her knees with her arms.

"Come here, Bella.", I smirked at her, wondering if she'd do it.

"Every time you say come here I get fucked.", she retorted.

"Are you complaining?", I almost laughed at her comment.

"No."

"Then come here.", I said again, not demandingly.

She crawled over to where I was sitting on the grass and stayed on all fours, kissing my lips as my hands held each side of her face. I kissed her as if it had been years since I'd tasted something so soft and delicious. It's how I felt.

I swept her up in my arms and rolled her so she was laying on her back and I laid beside her, one leg curled over both of hers, gently holding her there.

Her dark hair looked so gorgeous strewn out against the emerald floor beneath her. And her ivory skin…damn it.

I held her hand in mine and our fingers laced together as she smiled up at me, wondering what was on my mind.

Without a word, I kissed her hand and then placed it up above her, resting on the grass as my fingers slowly moved her t-shirt up, exposing her stomach and finally, her white bra. She tensed a bit and turned her head to the side, looking to see if anyone was watching or around.

"Shhh, shhh…Bella Swan…" I took her chin and turned it back towards me, "None of that. Keep your eyes on me. No one is looking. No one is around. And so what if they were? Relax…enjoy."

I moved my fingers over her chin like it was made of delicate glass, moving extremely slowly down her neck…her body relaxed again and her fingers loosened…and she moved her other arm up over her head, closing her eyes and breathing in and out as I stroked her face with my right hand.

"That's right…just feel me.", I instructed with a whisper, "Feel the air on your body…kissing your skin like I do…"

Still moving very slowly, I moved the t-shirt up, moving it off her chest and up over her face, letting it fall around her wrists as her eyes opened, looking up at mine…her lips smiling a little…nervously but excitedly.

"Feel the wet grass on your back…", I smiled, adoring her expression. "It's so natural…so cool and wet…it's not wrong…nothing is wrong…"

I unclasped the front hook of her bra, taking my sweet time to open it as her little voice gave a whimper, her body shivering a little.

"It's okay…", I assured her, moving my fingers over her right breast…then her left…so carefully as if she'd pop if I touched her too hard…I wanted my fingers to be as delicate as the breeze.

I moved the bra straps off her shoulders and placed it next to me on the ground.

"Just lay here…feel how good it is…", I nearly whispered as another pleasant breeze danced around us, enjoying the show, "You are so beautiful…you belong here…with all the other beautiful, eternal things….air…earth…water…sun…."

I still had not kissed or grabbed her too roughly, I was worshipping her every inch…every pore…every curve…I was taking mental pictures again…her white, perfect breasts…pouting out below my fingers, nipples hardening the second I made contact…moving in extremely painfully slow circles around them.

She let out a little moan, and her eyes stayed on mine, obeying my instructions as I smiled down on her with pride. She is such a good student.

"Feel the sun kissing your flesh…", I leaned in cautiously and kissed the warm land between her breasts, hearing her moan again, her breathing deepen.

I moved my fingers down her torso, and both my hands gently sliding the shorts down. I waited for her to tense and protest…but she didn't.

Along with the shorts, I also moved the panties off, too and her eyes were clinging onto mine, her fingers curled a bit above her head then relaxed once more. I knew this was a lot for her, to let me undress her like this outside in the open, but you couldn't see the internal struggle from my view. She was trusting me…completely.

"Uhhh….", she let out as I exposed her ass to the earth below, letting the sun sparkle in the little curl of brown hair between her legs as I placed the garments under her head, letting them serve as a pillow of sorts.

"Very good, Bella…", I used my low voice, removing her sneakers carefully…then each ankle sock, "Rest…enjoy it…some people never get to feel how wonderful this is…you are far too alive…not to feel this."

I stroked her legs as they laid straight out beside me. I didn't open them yet…I wanted her to just lay here with me…and drink the feelings and sensations inside her…I tilted my head, smiling as I watched her eyes close…no signs of tension in her anywhere…amazing.

"I love you so much…", I whispered, "You are too beautiful to be real. You look like a goddess…Goddess of the Grass…"

I smirked at my own comment as she gave a little laugh and I plucked a daisy from a few inches away, beginning my Goddess worship.

Touching the petals to her forehead, I made a V across the skin there, moving at a snails pace. She smiled and so did I, then I moved down her nose, turning the daisy a bit as I went, and tickled the tip a little, chuckling as she wiggled her nose in response.

Next, I let the petals kiss her lips, moving along their edges. Her lips opened a bit and her eyes opened, looking at me again.

God, what a picture right there! Click. Mine forever. And _only_ mine.

Moving downward, I let the flower caress her chin, moving in a soft circle, letting every petal participate there.

"Feel the grass tickling your toes ?", I asked and she nodded, closing her eyes again.

"Good.", I admired her again, moving the daisy down under her chin, then down the slender white of her neck….down the center of her chest…

Without a word, I spun the flower slowly over her nipple, letting each one get a turn kissing it. She let out small moans and her eyes kept opening and closing, each time holding more fire than the last. But I took forever to make sure the flower explored every inch of Bella. I'm sure daisies dreamt of touching something so unique and exquisite as she. This was the lucky daisy.

"Edward…", she whispered, opening her eyes again.

She didn't have to speak to say what she said to me. I hoped she wouldn't be turned off by my marks as I took my own shirt off, but she smiled at me as if I were the most handsome man she'd ever feasted her eyes upon.

She always made me feel that way. I will really miss that look when it's gone.

I stood up and without looking around, I unzipped and removed my jeans and underwear, kneeling back down in the cover of the tall grass, joining her.

"Edward, I love you…I love you so much…", she clutched my face into her hands and gave me an intense, smothering kiss I would never forget. I've been kissed so many different ways…but never this way.

I tried to keep up with her lips but she was far more passionate than I and my voice whimpered from the sweet burns her hot mouth made in me.

"I'm sorry.", she panted, kissing me between her words, "Did I hurt you? Too rough?"

"No, Bella, never…" I kissed as I tried to speak, "You never hurt me…grab me as rough as you want, I love your touch…please…"

With this, she dug her nails into my back and pulled me on top of her…my legs instinctually straddled hers as I touched the ground with both hands, not wanting to lay my entire weight on her little frame.

I loved her scratching my back and the little stabs of pain as she dug in where my scars were…it was like she was wiping them away with her own marks, erasing them with her fingers.

"Yes…Bella…yesss…oh God…", my voice was breathing as she kissed me even harder.

"I want you now…", she panted between kisses, "Now!"

My little kitten is a tigress!

"Yes, Bella.", I smiled, hoping she didn't get mad that I was talking like a slave again.

I am her slave…forever…and it has nothing to do with her twenty thousand dollars. Even Victoria doesn't own me anymore…not really…it's Bella…it will always be her now…even if I can't be with her.

Yes, thank God I brought condoms. I always have condoms, being me. I had one on in two seconds.

I was inside her now and my mouth never left hers…my tongue letting her dominate it, tasting it, licking roughly and wetly along its edge as I moved, still very slowly….in….out…..innnnn….ooouuuutttttt….

Somehow, this was even more wild and intense than a good old fashioned slamming, which I loved to do…but it seemed here, in the center of all this, was more fitting…right…natural and good…pure.

"Bella…", I breathed as I made love to her, feeling the blowing blades of grass tickling my ass cheeks, "Bella…so good…so…." And her mouth took me in again, silencing me.

She wrapped her legs around my waist as I struggled to keep moving slow within her, not wanting to make one wrong misstep in this perfect little bubble we were immersed in…what world is this…I've never been to such a beautiful place before…and why would anyone allow me in here?

I opened my mouth and felt her sucking my bottom lip as she panted louder and my pace began to move a tiny bit faster…I teased her with my tongue, licking her mouth and pulling up a bit as she tried to kiss me again. We laughed as we fucked and that was new for me, too.

Even ten cops approaching us right now wouldn't stop me. They could fucking wait…or shoot me in the ass…but I wasn't stopping until I was ready to…for once.

"Edward…", she finally whimpered, her fingers in my back, "Fuck me…please…fuck me hard…"

Everyone stand back. Edward's gonna fuck hard now.

I unrestrained myself and instantly pounded my cock into her, moving her left leg up a bit, her knee bent as I held it there, getting a deeper angle to thrust myself in as she screamed. Her eyes told me to keep going and I did, biting down on my bottom lip, causing myself a little pain as I began moving all the way out then diving deeply in again instantly.

Breezes blew around us as I shouted out, letting Bella's screams mingle with mine as we banged each other like wild animals, grunting and forgetting words.

We were both sweating and shaking at the end, and Bella let out a scream that made the birds fly away from our tree beside us as I came with her.

Moments later, I dropped onto my back beside her, staring up at the clouds and bright blue sky and I wondered what my name was, trying to catch my breath as she did the same. My heart was bouncing around inside my chest.

"Oh my God…", Bella was speaking before I had figured out how to do it yet.

"I think you killed my uterus.", she breathed, "I know I said fuck me hard…but…Christ…I think I'm bleeding internally…"

I heard her try to laugh and I smiled, looking at her, panting in response.

"I guess you didn't see the warning label on my ass.", I joked, "Some toys are very dangerous, you know…"

She made a scoff and said, "If I wasn't so tired…I would tell you I really hate that statement…"

"If I wasn't so tired…I would care…", I widened my eyes and then closed them.

"I'm afraid when I get up my ass print is gonna be in the ground!", she chuckled.

"Are you complaining again?", I asked, hovering over her, half laying on her body.

She smiled and shook her head at me.

"Good.", I raised a brow, "Because there is no complaint department here."

"Is there a kiss department?", she asked.

"Perhaps.", I smiled down at her, "What can I do for you, Miss?"

"I am looking for a big, wet, juicy kiss.", she smiled at me, so innocent looking, "What do you have?"

"Well, there are several different things I have…", I pointed out, "First, there's this…"

And I opened my mouth and placed a very wet, soft kiss there, no tongue…followed by a few small kisses peppered all over her mouth.

"Mmmm.", she smiled after I ended the kiss and my nose was moving around hers, "I like that one…but what else do you have?"

"Oh, you want to see the entire stock, do you?", I smiled darkly over her, "You're gonna be one of those all day customers, aren't you?"

"Yes.", she confessed and I laughed a little.

"Good, because I love to please my customers…", I said, and I hated that I said it as soon as it was out of my mouth.

"Oh God…Bella…", I felt sick inside, "I didn't mean…I was just playing…I didn't mean to call you a _customer_."

And once again, she understood me and calmed me.

"I know, Edward.", she held my face, "It's okay, we were playing. But I know that I'm only a customer. It's okay."

I frowned at her and said, "No, it's not okay. You're not a _customer_ to me, you're…" I paused, sitting on the grass on my bare ass, adding, honestly, "everything."

"Well now you know how it feels for me when you call yourself a toy or a slave.", she pointed out, expertly teaching me something without me seeing it coming again.

"Touché.", I smiled.

"Now…", she pulled me back towards her lips again, "Show me those other kisses you have in stock. I don't have all day."

"Yes Ma'am.", I smiled, leaning in and demonstrating my savage, 'I'm trying to suffocate you' kiss.

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It wasn't until it was dark that we were near Bella's place, but we were having so much fun I never wanted it to end. We walked around, going nowhere, just talking, learning more about each other, eating ice pops from the ice cream truck.

My life will never get any better than this and I knew it at the time. I wished Katie were here with us. That would be the only thing that could make it more perfect.

We window shopped and I got Bella a cool pair of sunglasses that she looked hot as hell in, and she bought me a friendship ring. It cost five dollars and wasn't meant to be a real gift, but to me it was priceless. I wore it on my pinky and knew when I got home it would be going in my secret wall.

A slave has no possessions. I have clothes and jewelry, but only for show, so I don't embarrass Victoria when we go out. Things like this friendship ring and my fortune from the cookie last week were things I'd never be allowed to keep.

Mementos of love and gifts from clients, gifts from female friends were forbidden. So, I have a secret wall in my room where a couple bricks can be removed and I have some important things in there. Things Victoria can't steal from me. Pictures of Katie and Tanya, a ring my father once gave me for graduation when I was 17, my wedding ring, and now this one, along with my fortune. These are my most prized possessions. And I'll always have them, somehow. I hope.

Neither one of us wanted to go inside and we hung out on the stairs outside Bella's place, her sitting on the lower stair from me, surrounded by my long legs that wrapped around her protectively…more like possessively. She held my legs to her as it began to get a bit chilly around 11, and she began shivering so I suggested we go inside.

"I still can't believe we didn't get caught making love outside today.", Bella commented as we ascended the stairs going into her apartment.

"I've found that people don't really care what others do.", I said, "Everyone is so afraid these days to even make eye contact with strangers. And even if someone saw us…who cares? It wouldn't have ruined the time I was having…how about you?"

"Nope.", she smiled, my prized student, "I might've even flashed them."

I laughed as she opened the door, going in.

"What have I done to that sweet, notebook girl I met at the club?", I followed her.

"Freed me, saved me…", she answered, "Letting me feel what it is to LIVE…finally?"

"Mmmm…" I took her in my arms and closed my eyes, feeling her lips find mine again as I kissed her back.

"Thank you for not seeing me as some pervert, Bella.", I truthfully responded, "I was afraid of that in the beginning, that you'd find me…too strange."

Smiling up at me, she said, "Well, you are strange…but I like it."

"Thank you." I smiled as she giggled.

"Bella, can I ask you something?", I laced my fingers at her back, "You can say no if you want to."

"Sure, what?"

"Can I…make you my pet tomorrow?", I asked, almost afraid of what her eyes would do in reaction.

"I wouldn't hurt you or do anything horrible, like Raven would…you would be a slave of pleasure, not pain.", I quickly promised.

"I know you wouldn't hurt me, Edward.", she said with no fear in her face, "Besides you trying to pound me into the ground earlier, that is."

"You asked for it!", I said for the fifth time today, "Next time, know who you're talking to when you say fuck me hard ! I have a shirt that says Thumper on it for a reason, Bella!"

"You own a shirt that says Thumper on it?!", she laughed.

"It's a long story, but yes.", I said, "See, this one time…"

"Never mind.", Bella cut me off, grinning, and added, "I would love to be your pet, Edward. I trust you."

"You do?", I felt warm all over suddenly. Is this girl real or will I wake up soon, in Victoria's cage?

"Yes.", her brow creased, "How can you ask me that after I let you fuck me in the middle of Central Park?"

"Let me?", I teased, smiling as she laughed, holding me closer, "Bunnies and raccoons probably know how to say 'fuck me harder' now because of you! You scared BIRDS away!!"

"Shut up!", she laughed as pushed her against the wall, holding her there with my full, erect cock.

"Ouch!", she looked at me in surprise, "What is THAT?"

"This is the Cock Department.", I smirked, "How can I help you today, Miss?"

She laughed and straightened, seeing my face wasn't kidding.

"Ow!", she jumped as my cock twitched against her tight little shorts and said, "I _am_ looking for a very talented cock, as a matter of fact. And big…but not vicious, like one I found in the park today!"

"Oh, I see.", I thought about it for a moment, "Well, maybe I have something for you."

"I suppose you're going to show me all the cocks you have in store now?"

I smiled, "No. I just have one. But it's all you'll ever need. It does _everything_."

"Oh, really?", she blushed, trapped as my hands leaned on the wall on both sides of her head.

"Yes, really.", I yanked the shorts down off her, and the panties, too as she let out a little squeal.

"Let me demonstrate.", I unzipped my jeans and underwear, "Look at it…big enough?"

"Yes, it's huge.", she looked at it, smiling, "This must be the extra large size."

"Not a scratch on it, either.", I stared into her eyes, "Feel it…"

She did, staring back up at me, letting her hand curl around the shaft as I nearly groaned. Last week, Bella didn't want to even look at my penis, now look at her!

"Hard enough?", I asked.

"God, yes.", she smiled, "Impressive."

"And look.." I tore a condom wrapper in my teeth and put a black condom over myself, "It comes with a nice case to store it in."

"Wow.", she giggled as I spun her around and sat her ass on the kitchen counter.

"But that's nothing.", I sold my product, "Wait until you feel the demonstration."

Without any more foreplay, I opened her legs and penetrated her, going all the way in slowly.

"Feel how deep it can go?", I asked, my voice a bit strained at how tight her pussy still felt to me, it was so hot.

"Yes…", she closed her eyes and opened them, "That is…good."

"Not done yet.", I grinned down at her, "Let me show you what this baby can do."

Seconds later, I was slamming her, pounding into her, holding her hips and moving them to mine as I took her.

She was screaming and moaning, keeping herself sitting up on the counter, holding the walls at her sides for support.

"It has great thrusting action, as you can see…", I grunted, "And the power lasts for a very. LONG. TIME." I said those last three words, thrusting in each time as I spoke them.

She screamed out louder, sounding wounded but pleased at the same time.

"I like that.", she managed to say, playing her role, and then the little bitch added, "But can it fuck harder? Thumper?"

"Oh, you---", I growled as she laughed.

"Yes, Ma'am.", I grunted, "But don't say I didn't warn you…remember…there is no complaint department."

And she howled as I fucked her harder, making her pay for that Thumper remark.

Notebook girl is dead. Sexy Bambi is born.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

See next chapter soon !!

Love

WinndSinger


	18. A Kind Master

18

BPOV

The entire night was just hot as hell, as Edward always says. Now he's got me talking like him. I am still fascinated with how wonderful orgasm feels…unbelievable! His tongue found places inside me that I didn't know existed. Damn, he knows what he's doing. I think I know how he earned the name Thumper…and deservedly so.

We held each other tight as we fell asleep – who knows what time it was…and who cared?

When my eyes opened, the sun was shining but all the blinds were down. I felt Edward sitting up next to me in bed and when I turned to him to say something he spun towards me and instantly, his hand was clasped over my mouth, his nose almost touching mine.

"Good morning, my pet.", he smiled down at me, his lips softly kissing my nose as my body trembled a little, "No, love, don't be afraid. I'll be good to you…you'll see. But if you scream or try to get away, it will hurt me."

"I'm going to make you a nice breakfast first…", he said, "But until that's ready you have to be still. Today you'll be completely mine. Is that clear?"

I nodded, feeling dampness between my legs already.

"Good girl.", he grinned.

He let go of my mouth and I didn't dare make a peep. Next to him on the bed was a roll of duct tape. He tore a small piece off and looked sternly down at me.

"Close your mouth.", he said with the sweet, eerie voice and I obeyed, feeling the thick piece of tape smoothing over my lips. His fingers carefully moved over the tape, making sure every inch was stuck in place.

"Over.", he rolled me over and began tying a rope around my wrist, not enough to hurt me, it wasn't tight at all, and then he ran the rope behind my back and around the other wrist.

When he rolled me onto my back, my hands were trapped at my sides, not underneath me.

Then, without a word, he began tying a rope around my ankles, pinning them together, then to the left lower leg of my bed, holding me down securely, but not at all painfully or even uncomfortably.

"Stay.", he smiled, kissing the duct tape where my lips were, and he went off into the kitchen to cook breakfast.

I've always fantasized about being tied up and left like this…and the tape over my mouth excited me. I felt so helpless and kidnapped and at the same time sexy as I tried to yank my ankles, not able to move them much at all.

Closing my eyes, I made little mmmm sounds, half turning my body, then returning it to its original place. He could've tied me a lot tighter and in a lot more difficult position if he chose to, and maybe he would later. Part of me hoped so.

Edward must've heard my pitiful little sounds but he seemed to ignore them while he cooked. I let my hair fall over my eyes as I continued to play struggle, really enjoying myself, getting into our game.

"Mmmm, pretty little pet…", he said as he came in, placing a tray on the nightstand on his side of the bed, "I'm so happy that I have this all to myself today."

He dipped his fingers in a glass of water and when he touched my skin, I felt the cold as he eased the tape off my mouth, not hurting me a bit. He must know a lot about how to properly get duct tape off flesh.

"Such a good girl.", he praised me, "Now, you're not allowed to speak, even without a gag. You're my pet now…and pets don't speak, ever. Yes?"

I nodded and got his smile in return…and a little kiss on the lips.

He came to my side of the bed and sat me up, sitting down himself, holding the plate in front of me, showing me scrambled eggs.

"Eat, Bambi.", he had nicknamed me this last night, since I kept calling him Thumper. I never in my life figured I'd ever had the nickname of Bambi. Life is funny.

Eat? I couldn't use my hands…and he wasn't going to feed me…eat, he said.

He watched me, raising a brow.

"Come on, girl, it's getting cold.", he moved the plate in his hands, tilting his head, staring into my eyes.

I bent down, letting my hair fall around me as I began to eat off the plate, trying to be delicate about it, pushing under the eggs with my tongue, getting a bite into my mouth and chewing it.

"Good girl…", he stroked my hair down my bare back and kissed the back of my head as I silently ate, feeling the incredible loss of control, wondering how many times Edward had to eat from bowls or plates this way.

This was another way for me to know him, to play games like this…I realize he is playing with me…but these ideas come from things that he's experienced…and maybe enjoyed. He wasn't doing the cruel things to me that have been inflicted upon him, that he's silently detested. The praise he gives me of good girl…he likes getting that praise too, 'good boy'. Maybe that soothes him during scenes where he is not in control.

Why am I analyzing him…I should just enjoy his game and stop thinking so much…my brain gets in the way all the time. My body is liking this so far…my pussy is already so wet, I can't help it.

"Do you like it, Bambi?", he kissed my head again and I nodded, keeping my head near the plate as I managed to pick up more of the eggs.

"Good…" his fingers kept stroking down my arm and along my hair affectionately, "Eat it all up like a good little pet."

When I had eaten the last bite of eggs, I licked my lips and looked up at him, not speaking.

"Lick the plate.", he grinned, holding it up in front of me.

With a smile, I stuck my tongue out and lapped all the remaining juice and bits of egg off the plate. He smiled at me, watching me as I did this. Men.

"Good girl…nice and clean…", he took it away, putting it in the sink and coming back with a bowl.

"Very good, Bambi…" he grinned, "You deserve a treat."

He took a piece of bacon from the bowl and broke it in half, holding it up above my head a bit.

"Come on…get it, Bambi…", he coaxed, moving it in a circle above my nose.

I smiled a little, opening my mouth and reaching up, my tongue moving up and out to give it a little lick as he chuckled.

"Jump.", he grinned and I bounced up a bit, on my ass, grabbing it in my teeth.

He laughed and praised me again, kissing my lips as I chewed my treat.

"Let's see if you know any tricks or if I have to train you.", he took the other bacon half in his fingers and smiled at me, saying, "Lay down."

I laid myself down into the pillows and smiled down at him.

"So well behaved…", he cooed, placing the bacon right into my mouth then.

I carefully swallowed that and then he said, "Roll over."

With a little giggle, I rolled my body over, like I did before and then rolled back.

"Wow…you are just so smart…", he grinned, sitting me up and feeding me another half bacon piece.

"Hold this piece in your mouth but don't eat it.", he put an entire piece of bacon between my teeth and I held it, not eating.

Then he went to the nightstand and came back with the little egg, showing it to me, asking, "Remember this?"

I gave a little whimper and he smiled, opening my thighs enough to feel in between my legs.

"Very wet Bambi…you bad little girl.", he scolded, easily inserting the egg just inside me. He closed my legs and hit his little remote, leaving it on the nightstand as he walked out of the room.

The low buzzing began inside and my fists clenched a little, my voice moaning a little bit as I held the bacon in my teeth.

He was washing the dishes and sipping juice in the kitchen as I sat there in bed, letting the little bug inside me work and begin to arouse me even more than being tied naked in bed with Edward in control of me.

He was singing something while he cleaned out there and I caught sight of him once in awhile when he took something off the stove.

My arms tensed a bit and I struggled them a little as the buzzing began to really win me over now, making me hornier and wetter by the second. My ankles began to jerk uselessly, my toes tensed and curled…then uncurled…and curled again.

After about ten minutes or so, I was growling and panting like an animal, wishing I could lay back in the bed and roll around a little…maybe it would help, but I didn't want to be punished for disobeying my owner. I wanted to be a good pet.

I tried not to bite down too hard on the bacon but it was becoming increasingly hard to hold it with loose teeth together, not putting too much pressure on it.

I jerked my head down as I kept writhing and grunting, whimpering and suffering as the egg wasn't enough to make me come, but enough to stimulate me into a fucking frenzy.

I put my palms on the bed and lifted my ass up off the bed slightly, wondering it that would ease things…it didn't.

"Be a good girl.", he smiled in at me, "I'll be there in a few minutes."

And he went into the bathroom as I squealed out, crying like a real puppy would.

I heard him brushing his teeth and spitting and water running. I began bouncing a little on my ass, trying to kill the thing inside me using pressure. It was ridiculous…and would never work…but my brain was mush at the moment.

Finally, he was coming back in and I sounded like a damn puppy as he sat on the bed at my side, smiling gently.

"What's my pet been up to, hmm?", he asked, taking the end of the bacon into his fingers, saying, "Release it."

I opened my mouth and he held the entire piece up, smiling at me.

"Wow, you're good.", he praised again, "Such restraint, Bambi…very good."

I kept moaning and panting as he spoke, a mindless creature needing release.

He broke the bacon and dangled it over my nose and I leapt up, taking it, biting into it with eager teeth, still clearly affected by the egg inside me.

He ate the other half of the bacon and said, "Mmmm…tastes like Bella…"

I lunged at him and attacked his mouth with mine, drowning him with my lips and tongue as my voice growled louder, whimpering in need.

Finally, he moved my arms back a bit, breaking my kiss from him.

"Bambi, behave…", he smiled, kissing my nose as I struggled a little more, wanting him, "Affectionate little thing….so cute."

"Time to get you ready for the day.", he acted like he couldn't see my body about to implode.

He had my toothbrush and toothpaste and put some on red paste onto the brush.

He dipped the toothbrush into a little cup of water and looked at me, saying, "Open, girl."

I opened my mouth a little.

"Wider.", he tipped my chin back and I obeyed as he began to brush my lower back teeth, doing both sides, creating a lather of toothpaste. He proceeded to the sides of my teeth and I almost screamed out now from the egg worming away slowly inside me.

"Together.", he said, referring to my teeth as he brushed up and down in the front of my teeth.

He held up an empty plastic cup to my mouth and said, "Spit, girl."

I spit a couple times into it and Edward brought a new little cup of water to my lips, letting me drink a little water from it.

"Good.", he stood up and took all the toothpaste things with him as I nearly screamed.

When he came back I wanted to scream his name but stopped myself.

"Lay down, girl…", he eased me back and covered my mouth again, turning my head to the right as he began kissing my neck, "Let your master thank you."

Now his sweet, wet kisses were driving me more insane with lust as the evil little thing inside me kept its slow pace going.

I was groaning and breathing against the tightness of his fingers over my lips as he laid on me, his legs parted and underwear on his ass, keeping me away from what I wanted most.

"My little pet is very vocal today…", he licked up my neck and bit his teeth into the flesh at the bottom of my neck and at the start of my shoulder.

My hips were bucking up into his, trying to communicate without words.

"Stop that.", he scolded, his eyes really looking stern, "Bad girl."

I stopped moving my hips under his and he went about the business of covering my breasts with his kisses now, his hands squeezing and grasping them as I clenched my eyes, wishing I would explode already and put myself out of my misery.

"So pretty…", he admired, moving his fingers back and forth across my clit, teasingly, just grazing it as I panted and tried not to say anything.

"Over.", he rolled me over again, stroking my ass and kneading it in his hands.

His lips opened and closed on my skin and his hands delivered a couple light slaps, getting even more guttural sounds from me.

Then he gave me a little bite on my ass cheek, my voice giving a little squeal as he turned me back again, stroking up my thighs…knowing damn well how crazy he was driving me.

I nearly cried right then but then he took a little pity on me and rolled me on my back again.

He kissed my leg and stood up off the bed, taking his time to untie the rope at the leg of the bed and then uncoil the ropes from my ankles.

I wanted to part them but kept them together until I was told otherwise.

"Come.", he motioned me with his finger as he sat on the bed, resting against the pillows, sliding his underwear off.

I crawled with my knees to him, kneeling between his legs as he smiled at me with lust in his eyes. His penis was rock solid and waiting for me.

"Please me…and I'll please you in return.", he vowed.

I didn't need to hear anything else and I licked the little bead of clear liquid on the head of his cock as he hissed out loud. My mouth opened and sucked him in hard, my wet tongue swirling around his head tightly as I moved my mouth up and down around him.

All the while I pumped him in my wet, hot mouth the little egg moved inside me. I didn't see him reach over and take the little remote but he must have because the egg began to speed up all of a sudden.

My hands clenched into fists at my sides, useless to help me with his cock as the pleasure increased and raged inside me like an invisible wave. My voice moaned out loud, vibrating against his penis as he began to make these wonderful, savage noises that turned me on even more.

"Your mouth…Fuck, you're an ARTIST!", he growled out above me, "Fuck!"

After ten more minutes, he was grunting and panting and so was I as the egg had made me come for the second time.

"Stop!", he ordered and I was a little disappointed but obeyed.

"Turn.", he helped spin me around and I bent over, resting my head on the bed as his fingers inserted inside me and removed the egg. I heard him placing the condom on quickly.

He was inside me again, forcefully, perfectly. It wasn't very long before Edward shouted out and came like a lion.

Without saying anything, he pulled my head off the bed and laid me on my side in front of him, his arms curled tightly around me, his lips kissing my shoulder blade, teeth biting down slightly as he tried to catch his breath.

After a few minutes, he rose to go to the bathroom and clean himself up and he left me lying there for a minute.

When he came back, he smiled down at me and said, "Let's have you try out a real position, shall we?"

He grabbed me up by the hair and told me to kneel on the bed, right in the center, a couple feet away from the headboard.

I'm not sure where he got this rope from but he was an expert with it. He now had my wrists behind me, tied to my ankles, and, from the headboard, a pair of thin, tight ropes sat snugly between my ass cheeks, coming around in front of me, one on each side of my clit, pulling my pussy up high and tied securely to the top of the headboard over my head.

And if I let myself relax and my hips lowered, the little thin ropes would dig into my pussy lips, and that both annoyed and excited me at the same time.

My back was arched and ached a little bit but I could deal with it for awhile. This was a pretty hard position but I liked it. Until…

He came back to me and had a little rubber ball in his hand, only a ball.

"Open.", he smiled at me.

I opened my mouth and he gently placed the red ball between my teeth.

"Hold it.", he said, "Don't drop it, girl."

My teeth bit down on it and then he pet my hair affectionately.

He inserted the egg inside me again, even though my sounds protested a little.

"Shhh…", he ignored me and turned it on a medium speed as I squealed out.

"Good girl.", he stroked his hand up and down my stomach, "This is a nice position for you. It focuses all its attention right here….(he roughly vibrated his fingers up and down my clit as I screamed out)…I'll be back in a bit…I'm going to take a shower."

I was growling in an angry way as he walked to the bathroom, leaving me in my sweet misery again.

The shower water started running and I closed my eyes, trying to hold my tough position, feeling those ropes digging in a bit more.

In minutes, I was coming and screeching like a banshee, gritting my teeth against the rubber ball there as I immediately came right after the last orgasm. This was awesome and torture at the same time.

By the time Edward came back out of the shower, I was bucking against the ropes digging into me and howling as if I were on fire, pleading with sounds for mercy.

"Click.", Edward said, almost to himself as he looked at me, drying his hair with a towel , moving it down his wet, naked body.

"Aww, Bambi…do you miss me?", he sat right in front of my upraised clit and began wetly and roughly licking it as I screamed out louder.

Through my ball, I was muffled but whimpering, no…no…noooooo….

"Bad girl, using words.", he said and bit me firmly, making me howl out and come right then. My God, what is wrong with me?

"Mmmmm," he lapped up the wetness, taking his time as the ropes kept sinking more and more into my lips, only intensifying the sensations.

"I love the way you taste…", he commented as he parted my pussy lips and licked new areas inside, my screams savage and wordless again. He was killing me with pleasure. I thought it would be easy being a pleasure slave…I was wrong.

"I could sit here all day and eat you over and over again…", he said, sucking on the clit now, clutching my ass cheeks, "I think I will."

By 2pm, I wanted to sleep for a week and couldn't even scream anymore.

The egg was now out of me, cleaned and back in the nightstand, and I was in a new position now, back against the headboard, knees tied up against the headboard, too, feet dangling as my legs were wide open. My wrists were tied to the headboard also, and a rope was coiled around my head, between my teeth four times around, gagging me and holding my head to the headboard at the same time.

I actually did get a little rest as I was left in this position, my eyes closed for a little bit of time and I almost slept as Edward massaged my feet with a nice lotion, then doing my legs next.

All the time, he pleasured me, even though I was tied up and under his control. He was never cruel to me, always caressed and kissed and massaged my body. And just when I thought I was totally relaxed and at peace, he would start pleasuring me all over again, in a new and excruciating way. He was challenging me…seeing where my limits were….exploring my submissive fantasies without going too far this first time.

I read once that a kind master is always a slave first, and knows how to treat his submissive when he finally has control. Edward as a master is clear proof that he has suffered as a slave. He's kind…and gentle…not callous or wicked just for the sake of being so. I was enjoying being his pet.

He massaged my pussy, too, kissing and licking it as his fingers moved around over it. I whimpered, trembling and suddenly he was off and gone again, making me a late lunch.

When he came back, he untied the ropes that gagged my mouth and he fed me little pieces of a ham and cheese sandwich, and he let me drink a soda from a straw as my body stayed tied in its position.

I still was not allowed to speak and Edward asked, "Do you like being my pet, Bambi?"

And his finger moved up and down my poor little clit again.

I nodded, wondering what he had planned for me next.

Smiling at me, he untied me completely then stood me up on my feet on the floor, simply tying my wrists together behind my back. He put the red rubber ball in my teeth again, telling me to hold it, and loosely tied a little rope leash around my neck. I had lots of room in it, it didn't choke me and would not tighten around my neck if pulled.

"Come on, girl.", he coaxed me, using the leash, letting me walk on my feet as he led me to the bathroom, "Shower time for you, pet."

He led me in the shower and washed me all over with his magical, soapy hands, washed my hair, and then rinsed me all off, drying my body and hair with the big, fluffy towels and leading me by my leash back to bed.

"Nap time, girl.", he said like a loving master, removing the ball from my mouth, laying me face down, removing the leash, and tying my ankles together. He covered me up and joined me in bed, snuggling his face against my arms as he drifted off to sleep.

I couldn't believe it but I fell asleep, too, so tired and happy.

A couple hours later, when I woke up, it was to the feel of his smooth fingers, playing with my hair, moving down my back, gliding up the curves of my ass.

He smiled as he saw me gazing back at him, still not saying a word.

"Hi.", he said, looking a little sad, then lost that look and smiled, touching my face, "Did you sleep well, pet?"

I nodded, closing my eyes for a second or two, then looking at him again.

"I think I'm beginning to feel like Raven a little bit…", he said as he moved his fingers over my mouth, "I don't want to let you go. But if you want to be released, just say your word and you're free. Alright?"

I smiled and nodded, wishing I could tell him he's nothing like Raven and never will be. My lips kissed his fingers and I hoped this message got to him. I don't want to be released.

"Bella…", his eyes looked a little sad again as he stared at my face, "I'm sorry I'm so weird…I don't think I even know how to make love like a normal person anymore. When did I become so…"

I hate him talking this way. So I bit his finger to snap him out of it.

"OW!", he exclaimed, jerking his finger away for a second, "BAMBI! BAD!"

He pointed his finger at me and I licked it, apologizing with a sensual smile as he smiled at me, watching my tongue closely. I slowly curled my tongue over every inch of his finger and kept my eyes on his as I took its entire length into my mouth and sucked wetly.

"Ugghhhhh…", he opened his mouth and squinted at me a bit, "Good girl…are you sorry?"

I gave a slow little nod and made my eyes very sorrowful, not letting up on the suction around his finger.

"Alright, I'll forgive you this time…", he grinned, "But next time you're getting a good whipping."

Edward and I watched a movie together after he made his call to Katie again. Today she didn't sound very interested in Edward and he didn't seem to take any offense. It was a ten minute call and I thought I saw hurt in his eyes but he smiled at me and said it was no big deal. Burying pain again…I wish we could have therapy tonight…maybe later.

At one point, Edward was brushing my hair but then he messed it all up again with his hands, letting it fall over my eyes. He said he liked it better that way, sexy, messy bad girl hair, he called it.

And now, I was still naked and had my wrists tied together in front of me, tightly with the rope running down and binding my ankles together while Edward stroked me, having me lay between his legs on my back, resting peacefully and quietly as we watched Sweeney Todd together.

His hands were in my hair a lot and often traveled down to play with my breasts as I cuddled my cheek on his bare leg, not wanting to be anywhere else in all the world right then. I liked it that not every minute had to be action packed with sex and games….even if I was tied up in his arms, we could still be Bella and Edward, enjoying each other without making a big production out of it.

Later, Edward was feeding me chocolate ice cream and kept letting some of it drip off the spoon and down my neck, dotting it over my breasts.

"Dirty girl…", he scolded, laying me down flat on my back as he licked and cleaned me off with his mouth and tongue.

Without using words, I planted kisses in his hair right below my mouth and raised my hips up again just once, wanting him again. There is something about being tied up naked all day, not being able to speak, it just kept me completely aroused, even if he wasn't doing much of anything to me at the moment.

"I wish I had my dog collar with me.", he said as he got up from the bed, going into my closet, "This'll work."

He found a leather belt I bought for Halloween once that had little silver moons and stars all over it. And he had another one in his hands, too, a thinner, brown one.

"Nice.", he said, coming back to me and rolling me face down, looping the belt around my neck, securing it snugly but not tight enough to restrict my breathing.

Then he used one of my scarves to blindfold me and without a word, he untied my bound ankles and slapped my ass hard, saying, "Doggie style…get on all fours."

I quickly felt my bound hands to the bed and got on my knees, parting my legs, my hands palm down on the bed in front of me.

"Stay, girl.", he said, and I felt the thinner belt around my pelvis, right above my clit. He tightened it pretty well and it almost dug into my skin a bit, but I just gave a little yelp at that. I heard him unwrapping a condom again and placing it on.

He gave a couple tugs on the belt behind me, halfway down across my ass cheeks and my knees actually rose off the mattress a couple times.

I felt both his hands grab the belt at my ass and he lifted my pussy up again, placing the tip of his cock right against me, not entering yet.

"Fuck your master, girl.", he ordered and I bent my head, easing my pussy backwards so he slipped inside my ready, wet lips.

We both gave a groan of pleasure as we joined and then Edward was controlling my hips with the belt, riding me like a human pony, using the reigns to slam my ass against his waist as he fucked me without mercy. I really wish I hadn't made all those 'fuck me harder' comments last night. I was paying for it now.

"I love my little wet bitch…", he growled and pounded deep inside me, and then his fist grabbed my hair in back, yanking my face backwards as I panted and groaned out louder, mindless.

We had so much fun after that, we didn't even have dinner. I had fallen asleep at one point of the night, still tied up and blindfolded, and we woke me up with an ice cold water bath, using ice cubes, water and a cloth to stimulate me awake.

He knelt in front of me and put his penis into my mouth and controlled me by my hair, moving me back and forth as I tried to breathe and keep pace with his directions. I swallowed all of him down that time and I was spanked for falling asleep. It was a lovely spanking, he used his hands and I whimpered in shame as he disciplined me.

I stayed awake in the dark silence after that, even though he lay next to me naked, stroking my pussy and breasts under the covers. He was spooned behind me as my blindfold remained on, as well as the ropes around my wrists and ankles.

About an hour later, I felt his erection behind me and I was glad I had stayed awake.

He whispered to me, "Are you awake, pet?"

I nodded and without moving his position, his fingers opened my legs a bit, giving his cock access to penetrate me again. This time, we moved slowly and his hands guided my hips as he rocked in and out of me…I let out a very happy sigh and smiled. Sex is so fucking fantastic. I'm glad I have such an amazing teacher.

Afterwards, he held me so tight I almost felt his pain in my own skin. He was thinking of leaving me next week and I knew it. Tears came to my eyes as I spoke to him in my mind.

Don't be afraid, Edward. I'm not letting you go. I'll never let anyone hurt you again.

We fell asleep a few minutes later and, against my will, bad images kept creeping up in my dreams.

Images of Victoria coming here to get Edward, holding a gun; another one of Edward walking in here alone one afternoon while I was at school and men diving on him from behind, handcuffing him and taking him back to Victoria without even letting him say goodbye to me or leave a note…I pictured Edward's poor face as he looked at Victoria through the bars of a cage…she was taunting him, telling him he was never leaving her.

Then I dreamt of Raven and Victoria teaming up to torture him for fun and I almost got sick. Victoria struck at Edward's bare back with a whip and blood flew out of the new lash as he threw his head back and howled in agony.

"Bella, wake up!", I heard and was being shaken when my eyes opened and I gasped, still tied up in Edward's arms.

"Bella…", he stroked my face and hair, "You were having a bad dream…about me, it sounded like…are you okay?"

I was shivering but so glad I had been dreaming it…

"Want me to untie you?", he began to move to my ankles, "Maybe it's too much, sleeping this way. It took me a little getting used to at first…"

"No.", I jerked my ankles away from his hands, "I like it."

"You do?", he asked, not convinced.

"I like being your pet.", I snuggled myself in his arms and closed my eyes, "But tomorrow I have work to do so no trying to distract me."

"What work?", he asked.

"Finding your way out.", I reminded, "What'd you think I was joking?"

"Bella…", he began but I didn't want to hear his warnings of it's no use right now.

"Shhh…sleep, Edward…and hold me…", I suggested, feeling him lay down and cuddle against my back with his chest, his face touching my hair in back of my head.

"I love the way you feel…laying with me like this…in case I never told you before…", I confessed, "I am so in love with you…"

A long pause lay between us and I almost thought Edward wasn't going to answer until he said….

"I guess that means I am someone after all…", his voice was so low and quiet, he sounded afraid to say the words, as if somehow Victoria would hear him growing a self worth in secret.

"There is hope for you yet, Mr. Cullen…", I yawned, drifting off to sleep.

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Tuesday, Day 9

EPOV

The next day when I woke up, I frowned, hearing women's voices in the next room. Opening my eyes, I saw the bedroom door was closed and I looked beside me in the bed. Bella was gone, the ropes were gone…how the hell did she get out of that?

She is in so much trouble.

I got up and grabbed my jeans that laid in a ball in the corner. I also put a t-shirt on, not wanting to show my marks to any other company Bella had in the next room.

I could hear Bella's voice more distinctly than the other voices and it sounded like she was on the phone, saying, "I can't give you any names. I would just like to remain anonymous, if that's alright."

I opened the bedroom door and saw a little operations center at work right there in the kitchen and living room.

Rosalie sat on the sofa, typing on her laptop, and was also talking on a hands free cell phone.

Alice was sitting at the kitchen counter, also on her laptop, holding her cell phone and not talking, it looked as if she were on hold with someone.

Bella smiled at me and waved without saying anything and Rosalie turned to me, giving me a very friendly smile. I'm glad I put my shirt on. Alice smirked, acting like she didn't notice me and kept typing on her computer.

"Bella….", I whispered, frowning a little. She was already dressed and pointed at a plate on the stove. A little stack of pancakes waited for me but that's not what I wanted.

"Bella.", I didn't move, trying to get her attention. She put a finger up, and said to the person on her phone, "Well, alright, let's call him Antonio, then, if you have to have a name."

Antonio?

I pulled at her t-shirt at the bottom, feeling like an annoying child, hoping she was almost finished on this call.

She tapped my hands away and I sighed, giving up and going to the kitchen for some orange juice. I was starving after skipping dinner last night, so I took the plate of food and sat across from Alice at the kitchen counter, sitting in the area in the living room, as she sat in the kitchen side.

Alice made a little room for me and gave me another polite smile, waving with her fingers at me. I waved back, pouring syrup on my pancakes.

"Alright, thank you.", Bella was saying and I looked over at her, hopeful she was getting off the phone now. She did hang up and came over to me, putting her arms around me and kissing my cheek.

"Good morning Ed—" she began but I cut her off.

"What are you doing?", I asked, my voice low, I didn't want to yell or seem ungrateful.

"We're making some calls and starting my new mission – the "We're getting Edward's ass out of Victoria's clutches" mission.", she informed.

"Bella, please stop wasting your time.", I only asked, "No bureau or non profit organization is going to help me. The situation is totally fucked and believe me, if there were a way out, I'd have found it by now, don't you think?"

"Edward…", her voice sounded hurt.

"I'm not angry at you, sweetie.", I wanted to make that clear as I turned to her and put my arms around her waist, "I love that you want to help me, really. But this is a waste of time…besides, if we make enough calls, Victoria is bound to find out somehow."

"We're not giving your name or anything.", Bella pointed out.

"And how is it going so far?", I raised a brow, "How long have you been at this, you three?"

"Since 7.", her eyes looked solemn.

I peeked at the clock. "It's eleven now. Four hours…how is it going?"

"Terrible.", she admitted, "No one cares…we keep getting transferred, redirected, disconnected…"

"Where is superman when you need him?", I teased, smiling, hoping she'd cheer up and realize our day would be better spent outside. I wanted to take her on a boat and see her in her bikini…and swim all day with her.

"I've got my superman.", she kissed my lips, "I just need to find Victoria's kryptonite…and I'm going to find it."

"People don't care about the problems of prostitutes, Bella.", I said, honestly, "They figure we chose this life and whatever comes of it, it's our problem. Police find dead hookers all the time in this city and they don't even investigate that much. We're shadows…ugly, unwanted shadows."

I sighed again and guessed I wasn't going to have Bella all to myself today. Damn. Bella didn't answer me, but her eyes were hurting me with their disappointment…their hopelessness.

"Are you guys going to be doing this all day today?", I wondered out loud.

"We only have five days left, Edward.", Bella reminded me, as if I needed that horrid information, "I'm going to keep working until I find you a way out."

"But, Bella, we're wasting our time together.", I pointed out, feeling selfish and unappreciative, "Please…let's just have another nice day out somewhere together…I loved that the other day, didn't you?"

"Yes, and I want more days like that with you, that's why I'm doing this now.", she insisted stubbornly.

"You really think that you're going to fix my life in five days?", I put it this way to make her see my point.

I held her hands and kissed them, seeing the look in her eyes.

"I don't want you putting all this pressure on yourself, Bella.", I said, "It's so impossible…believe me…let's just please enjoy our time left together."

"No.", she said and tears came to her eyes, "I won't give up on you, Edward. I don't want you going back to her. She's gonna hurt you again."

"She hurts my body.", I looked dead serious into her eyes, "But she can't touch me in _here."_

I put her hand on my heart and gave her a little smile, wishing she'd smile, too.

"You gave that to me, Bella.", I whispered, "I want _time_ with you. Please. Time is all I have."

She nearly cried and I saw her chin trembling.

"How about this?", I suggested, "I will go have a good workout at the gym with Emmett for a couple hours and you can keep working…and when I come back, we can go on a normal date…no bookstores or anything…I'll be the perfect gentleman. Anywhere you want to go…"

She agreed to this plan and I felt so relieved.

"Smile, Bella.", I almost asked as she gave me a weak little grin. I kissed her and grabbed my things, calling Emmett on his cell on the way to the train. Even when I left, the little office Bella had created was still hard at work.

I felt so touched inside as I watched them and I raised my voice a bit, calling all of them, "Ladies?"

They all stopped and looked at me and I put a hand on my chest, bowing my head a bit, hoping they knew how sincere I was when I said, "Thank you all."

I got their smiles in return and they only paused a moment, watching me leave them to it. I had two more friends now…Alice and Rosalie.

As I walked down the stairs, I just heard Bella say one thing to her friends.

"I'm done playing with people who don't care.", she said, "It's time to call the ones who DO."

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See next chapter soon!!

Love

WinndSinger


	19. A Date with Edward Cullen

19

EPOV

"What do you MEAN?", Emmett was staring at me as I tried not to look at his face, my hands laced behind my head, continuing my sit ups at a very fast pace.

"Just forget I said it, alright?", I sighed, knowing he wouldn't drop it. He stopped my sit ups by forcing his hand to my chest and he laid me down flat, my head thudding against the mat beneath it.

"Ow.", I half-frowned up at him.

"You can't _**love **_her, Edward.", Emmett reminded me of my one rule, "You can't love _**anyone**_…anyone but Victoria. I told you that on day one!"

"I didn't say I was going to marry her or anything, I just said, I love her…that's all.", I informed, "I'm not going to do anything…on Monday, I'll be kneeling in my room, waiting for Victoria, so don't worry."

"Edward, you're being so stupid…", Emmett looked worried about me, not really angry, "Do you want to be sold to Raven?"

"Shut up.", I frowned now, "And don't ever tell Bella anything about that, either. Once I leave, she won't follow me. She'll hate me, so nothing is going to happen. I'll be Victoria's obedient little machine again, just like old times."

"What do you mean, she'll hate you?", Emmett let me continue my sit ups.

"Victoria said if Bella ever came around me again that she'd ruin Bella, even hurt her. I can't let that happen. When I leave Bella's, I have to do something so horrible that she'll loathe me and never want to see me again. That way I ensure she won't come looking for me at Fire."

"Like what?", Emmett asked.

"I had one thought.", I stopped my sit ups and hated even thinking about it.

"What?"

"I make a pass at Rosalie…or Alice.", I said, feeling nauseous, "I'm sure they wouldn't take me up on it, but they'll tell Bella…or maybe I can do it so Bella catches me…but I don't want to endanger her friendships…no, it would be better for her friend to turn me down, slap me or something, then Bella sees it. You will have to help me out on this one, Em."

"Fine…but use Alice, not Rosalie.", Emmett suggested.

"Bella is more jealous of Rosalie's looks, though.", I pointed out.

"It doesn't matter…if you hit on any friend of hers…or even a stranger…Bella's gonna get mad…", Emmett said.

"Yea, you're probably right.", I agreed, "Okay, Alice. Rosalie might say yes to me, too, and that wouldn't help my plan any."

"As if.", Emmett scoffed.

"Hey, Rosalie was sucking on my finger the first night I met her at Fire.", I boasted.

"Well, you dipped your frigging hand halfway into her drink!", Emmett argued.

"You like her, don't you?", I asked, seeing it in his face.

"Yea, I do.", Emmett said, "But I won't call her again. I didn't let myself get too close to her…and I'll never let myself get close enough to LOVE her…DOPE!"

"I know.", I looked at my sneaker, "If only it wasn't for all the times she wanted to talk to me…I could've made things all about sex and I would've been fine. I know I sound like a giant girl, but…she _cared_ for me. She's quiet…and soft sounding…like a mandolin…not loud…not rough. She wasn't just using me…"

"You didn't tell her anything about…Victoria…what she is…did you?", Emmett gave me a grave stare.

"No.", I breathed, frowning, "Never. I'd never put Bella's life in danger that way."

"Good. Don't.", he said, but he didn't have to tell me that. That's one secret I would never tell anyone. I hated thinking about it myself, even in private.

"Hey, you could always tell Bella you and I are lovers.", Emmett laughed, putting an arm around my neck, trying to lean in and kiss my cheek as I struggled him away.

"UGH!!", I shouted, repulsed, "Get off me, you giant homo! What the hell's with you?"

He laughed and let me go, teasing, "You're too small for me, anyway…you couldn't handle me, little girl."

"Are you trying to make me vomit?", I asked, moving myself further away from Emmett, putting some space between our asses as we went back to doing our sit ups. I had to burn off those Doritos…Victoria was going to kick my ass for that.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

BPOV

"Edward, session seven.", I hit my record button and looked across me at the porcelain face smiling back at me, "Hi Edward."

"Hi Dr. Bella.", he showed teeth as his smile widened, then straightened his expression a bit, ready for whatever I had planned for him this time.

"Remember the first session, Edward, that we had here?", I asked.

"Of course.", he grinned.

"You…really laid yourself across that sofa as I recall.", I reminded, seeing his eyes look at the vast, empty remainder of the couch, then back to me, "Remember that?"

"Yes.", he looked down at his knee and then sheepishly brought his eyes to mine, "I was bad. I thought…if I could distract you with my body…you'd forget the whole therapy thing. I guess I had no idea who I was dealing with at the time."

I chuckled at his confession, glad to hear him admit it.

"Me, either.", I admitted, adding, "I really have done you a terrible…service, Edward."

His face frowned and stared back at me, not liking my tone or my words, I couldn't be sure which.

"It is so unprofessional for me…to try to counsel you…and then…be with you…the way I have been…", I was stumbling through my point.

"Are you saying you regret sleeping with me?", he asked and I felt my whole chest get hot and tight.

"NO!", I shouted it before I knew I was doing it…and Edward's body relaxed a bit, but his face was still hard.

"No, Edward, of course not.", I assured him, "I've never been happier, EVER, than these last days with you. And I think you actually charged me too _**little**_…I should've paid _**more**_…"

I winced at what I just said but Edward laughed and crossed his arms, tilting his head to the side, watching me blush.

"I know.", he said, "But I liked you…from the first time I saw you, writing in your notebook while I was trying to get your attention in my cage. Don't think that didn't hurt my ego, you know…there I was almost naked and grinding against the bars of my cage and you didn't even glance up at me. So I had to steal that notebook and shove it down my pants to get your attention…"

I had to laugh, remembering.

"I was so scared of you…", I let out a breath, "I saw you…every move you made. You were…and ARE…the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I was pretending to write in my notebook. I was so afraid. If I looked up and you looked back at me…I don't know…I was different then. You changed me, you know."

He gave a small, tender smile and took a moment to respond.

"You've changed me, too, Bella.", he kept looking into my eyes and the look nearly burned me inside.

"I was just trying to say, earlier, that maybe if I had stayed professional, maybe I could've helped you more…done something differently…", I shrugged.

"Bella…", he leaned forward and waited until I looked into his face, "First off, I wouldn't have stayed if you refused to sleep with me. See, there's one way I've changed. Back then, I would've left if you didn't make that deal with me, to give me equal time. I wanted you and I felt I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't perform for you. I didn't want to cheat you. It's different now. You're not a job, Bella. I like talking to you as well as fucking you…sorry…_making love to you_. I guess my mouth hasn't changed much, but, I have loved my time with Dr. Bella."

"You are a very intelligent doctor and I really do feel like you have helped me…so much. Just because my entire life hasn't changed into some pretty little picture doesn't mean you haven't done a good job counseling me. Do you know what a gift it is for someone like me to just happen to have two weeks with not only a hot girl who's very sensual and passionate, but also one who wants to be a psychiatrist and wants to help me? I never believed in ghosts or spirits before, but I keep thinking that Tanya must've set us up. I'm never this lucky on my own. It has to be some kind of divine intervention or something.", he said, looking a little embarrassed, finishing his speech.

I felt my eyes begin to turn wet and I blinked them away, making myself smile a little bit in return to his kind words.

"Thank you, Edward.", I breathed the words, not sure if I could speak that well right now without crying, "I'm still not finished, though. I actually did get somewhere today after you left."

"Really?", he looked concerned, "What happened?"

"Can't tell you yet.", I teased, "You'll see soon enough."

"Bella, you're scaring me.", he almost frowned, "What have you done?"

"Relax.", I opened my notebook, clicking my pen, "You worry too much."

He looked very nervous but I stuck to my guns. Saving him was going to be difficult enough without him fighting my methods. I hoped he wouldn't come to hate me for the drastic measures I had to take, but I wasn't changing my course now.

"So, Edward…", I asked, "What would you like to talk about today?"

"Well, there has been something on my mind…", he said, "But I don't think you'll want to talk about it."

"I'm Dr. Bella, Edward.", I said with a grin, "I will talk about anything with you."

"Alright.", he took a breath, "I've been wondering…how I'm going to feel when I have to leave here."

He was being so honest and I appreciated it…he wasn't so closed up like he used to be…but why did his eyes have to show so much? He was right to be afraid…afraid to believe I would save him. If I screwed up, and failed him…he would be devastated…and so would I. So he wasn't even letting himself hope.

"You're _**not**_ leaving here, Edward.", I stated, feeling like a warden.

He scoffed and smiled and said, "Bella…we both know I have to leave here on Sunday, let's not pretend…this is therapy. I thought you wanted truth."

I threw my notebook on the table and felt angry at him now.

"You know…", I said with venom in my voice, "I think you really want to go back. I think you're scared to death I'm gonna find some way out for you."

He gave a little laugh and I got more pissed off.

"I'm scared?", he asked, almost in a mocking way.

"Yes.", I squinted my eyes, "Getting free from Victoria is easy compared to what you'd have waiting for you then. Number one – repairing the damaged relationship you have with your daughter."

His face turned to stone and his eyes blazed again, almost darkening with their sudden anger.

"It's not _**damaged**_!", he defended.

"Edward, you call her once a day, you haven't seen her in years.", I pointed out, "Little children need your constant presence to feel close to you…you do have years of work ahead in becoming her father again if you ever put yourself back into her life. And the longer you wait, the harder it's going to be."

He looked down at his knees and didn't fight back on that point. I suddenly felt like another woman whipping him as he just sat there and took it.

"Number two would be looking for a job.", I tried to say gently but firmly, wanting to show him why he was so resisting my attempts to free him.

"And you would have to find a good job, maybe even two of them for awhile…", I said, "If you want to keep taking care of Katie and yourself without the easy income…"

I threw that in to see if he would fight back…I wanted him to. He had to start learning how to fight back…he could practice here with me.

"EASY?!", his eyes looked murderously at me now and I almost trembled.

"Well, you said yourself no real job would pay you 50,000 dollars for one day of work.", I reminded.

"Yea,", he almost let out a crazed person's laugh, "And I also wouldn't have to get fucked up the ass for two hours with ten different dildos, either, I'll bet!! Or have needles driven through my cock!! Or let's not forget the easy fun of having a man wash your body and hose you off like a zoo animal afterwards, right before you're locked into a goddamn BOX for the night – to REST!! I EARN every cent they pay me, BELLA!! EASY!"

"I love it when you get mad, Edward.", I smiled at his face, "Don't you see how free you feel after you let that poison out of you?"

For a minute, he just stared at me, opening his mouth a couple times, nothing coming out…finally, he let a little smile show and he muttered.

"You are so sneaky.", he shook his head, "And so good."

"You don't really think I find your life easy, I hope.", I said, wanting so badly to hold him.

"No." he grabbed his hair with his hands, hiding his face from me, "I know you just want to help me, Bella…I know."

"I want you to help yourself, Edward.", I said, "I wanted so badly this morning for you to get out your cell phone and sit down with us, helping us make our calls. But I know that's a lot to ask you…so soon."

"It's not just me, Bella.", he said, "If I run, the people I love will pay. And now you're included in that unfortunate group. I have to go back to her. She's very powerful, more than you know. She can kill us all if she wanted. I really am honored that you want to help me but…I'm trapped. I can't go anywhere. Can't we just let it be? Leave it alone."

"No.", I said without emotion, "That's not an option for me. I was born to fix things…people…problems…I'll always want to do that. And it's even more complicated now that I love you. I'm honored to be part of the unfortunate group of people you love. I just…HAVE to save you…simple as that. And I will, Edward, and I'm not afraid of her. I would gladly risk my life for you, you know that, right?"

"You are right now.", he said with a dark voice.

"My father risks his life everyday, doing what's right.", I said proudly, "I was raised to have courage, blame my dad for that."

Edward's eyes became shiny as he looked at me and said, "I wish I was something like that…that my daughter could look up to."

"You are, Edward.", I said and he cringed, looking away, not wanting to believe me.

"I don't know anyone who has endured so much pain and agony all for the sake of someone they love like you do, Edward.", I said with a hard voice, wanting him to hear me and understand his sacrifices, "You've _**bled**_ for Katie…you've given your body and soul for her…you've sold your own flesh so that she could have hers again. Every day, every thing you do screams love and courage, Edward."

"You see me with these romantic glasses, Bella…", he wiped his eyes, taking a deep breath, "And I like the way you make me sound…but if Katie ever found out what I was, I think I'd kill myself."

My heart stopped.

I kept my calm and asked, "Have you had…thoughts about that a lot?"

His eyes touched mine and he told me the truth straight out.

"Yes, Bella…", he said, "I've wanted to kill myself…but I can't…not until Katie is alright again."

"Wait.", I felt my eyes widen, "You're planning on doing this….someday?"

"No.", he said but I didn't believe him, "I meant, I can't do that…Katie needs me."

Oh my God. Suicide. I'm supposed to let James know if he talks about suicide. But he just denied it, didn't he? If I don't tell James and something happens to Edward…

"Bella, honestly…", he shook his head, trying to convince me, "That was dumb of me…I didn't mean that. I don't want to kill myself. Really. But you have to admit, it is a definite way out."

"What do you see when you look into your future?", I asked, "Five years from now…or ten?"

He thought for a minute, not saying anything and I was getting so scared. He doesn't see a future for himself.

"I don't know.", he said, "It's not up to me. I don't know what next week will hold, let alone, five years from now. I expect once my looks fade and I get older, Victoria won't want me anymore. And then I'll be free. Maybe then I can move to Florida and work for Ben at his factory. And I can start trying to get to know Katie again, if she wants me to."

Florida…thank you. Now I know where to look to find Ben. Factory…that might be a good clue also. Edward didn't even notice that he just told me things that before he had hidden from me.

"Why does Victoria own you?", I asked, "I mean, does she own anyone else at the club…or otherwise?"

"No, just me.", he said.

"Why you?", I asked and he looked up at me, "I mean, I know you're amazing, and if I could own you, I'd draw up the papers right now…but…why does she want full possession of you? Did she ever say?"

"She told me in the beginning I was special.", he shrugged, "She says that all the time…but she doesn't say why I'm so damn special."

"There must be something about you…", I stood and paced, talking to myself, "A reason she wants you so much…it can't just be your looks…"

"Hey, is that a personal parade – or can anyone march in it?", he teased, smirking at me.

"Your father is a doctor, is that right?", I asked him, if I remembered correctly.

His face went blank again, a glint of anger in his eyes.

"My father is a prick.", he corrected, "But yes, Dr. Prick."

"What about your mother?", I asked, stopping my pacing.

"She's Mrs. Prick.", he said then sighed, "She's just a doctor's wife, she has no big career or anything."

"There's more to this than meets the eye.", I said to Edward and he looked confused, "I think there's some big, secret reason she has to own YOU…above all others…"

"She says she loves me…once in awhile…", Edward shared, almost ashamedly, "On my birthday and at Christmastime…"

"Do you believe her?", I asked, without judging. Maybe he loves her, in some way…no, he said he hated her the other day. I felt relieved and horrible at the same time.

"Not always.", he looked down at his hands, "But once in awhile…she says it real nice…and I almost do…"

I didn't say anything, wondering how it must feel for him, living in a world where Victoria is the only one who shows you any love…no wonder he's thought about killing himself.

After a long pause, I decided enough therapy for today. I will do a long session tomorrow.

"Where would you like to go on our date, Edward?", I asked, smiling and slowly coming over to him on the sofa.

I straddled his hips with my legs and sat on his lap, taking his face into my hands, placing a small kiss on those full, glorious lips.

He smiled, relieved my hard questions and observations were over for now and he curled his arms around me, holding me closer, planting a warm kiss on my throat.

"I told you…it's your choice tonight…anywhere you want to go.", he tickled my neck as he spoke, his hot breath playing against my skin.

"I don't know…", I smiled, "Everywhere we go, we seem to end up making love there…I'm afraid to pick a place…I'm even afraid to take you food shopping with me now…"

"Are you complaining again?", he moved to the other side of my neck, just making small, little touches with his mouth that melted me instantly. I was such putty in his hands always.

I giggled, saying, "No, I know there's no complaint department. There's lots of wonderful departments…but no complaint department."

He hugged me and rubbed up and down my back as he kissed my lips again, briefly but longer than the tiny kisses he scattered across my neck a second ago.

"Did you like me being in control last night?", he whispered near my left ear, kissing it and taking my earlobe into his teeth.

"God, yes…", I whispered back, closing my eyes, "You gave me 24 hours of constant pleasure…and it nearly killed me."

We both laughed and his eyes twinkled as he looked up at my face, his perfect teeth nearly shined and my heart skipped a beat or two.

"I love you, Bella.", he said, his right hand cupping my cheek, "No matter what happens, I will always love you."

"I'll always love you, too, Edward.", I said without missing a beat, meaning every word.

"Tonight, I'm not a toy.", he said with a very serious voice, his eyes piercing into mine, "I'm a man escorting you out for a date. Edward Cullen. And if I'm a good date, and you invite me up, I want to make love to you like a real man.

No games or ropes or eggs…just me…and you…is that alright?"

"You've never been a toy to me, Edward Cullen.", I responded, stroking his hair and face, treating him as the treasure he is, "And every time we make love, I'm making love to a real man. But, yes, if you're a good date…I may invite you up."

He smiled at me and the whole world ceased existing.

"On our first date?", he asked, slightly shocked.

I laughed, "If I want you, I don't care if it's the first date or the 101st. I'm a sexual creature now, not a quivering mouse. I've been taught by the master, Edward Cullen."

"Congratulations.", he said, "You are now a graduate of the Edward Cullen Institute for the Future Bad Girls of America."

Letting out a huge laugh, I agreed, "Yes, I'm very bad…but you'd better be good. That's the only way into my bed tonight."

"I will be good, then, or I'll be sleeping on the steps tonight.", he chuckled.

"Do you even know how to be good?", I joked.

"Perhaps, when I must.", he answered, "So now all you have to do is tell me where you'd like to go."

I didn't really want to go anywhere fancy where I'd have to get all dressed up, and I knew he only had casual clothes with him here, so I decided something cliché and easy.

"How about…dinner and a movie?", I suggested.

"Too easy.", he said.

"Is that a new nickname for me?", I laughed as he gave a gasp, muttering how terrible a comment that was for me to make of myself.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

BPOV

A knock tapped on my door and I smiled, fastening my earring and checking myself in the mirror. Not too bad. I was wearing makeup and my nice diamond earrings Charlie bought me for Christmas last year. I went with a nice skirt and a short sleeved sweater, one inch heels. Pretty but not overly sexy. This was a first date, after all.

I went to the door and smiled at what I saw there. A very handsome gentleman stood there in a gray cable knit sweater and black slacks, dress shoes and a single red rose in his hand, adorned with a little spray of baby's breath.

"Hi, I'm Edward Cullen.", he smiled, dazzling the shit out of me, "I hope you're Bella Swan."

I smiled like a goofball and for reasons I didn't know, I almost felt my legs give out. I would expect it if I just met Edward, but I hadn't. I hade made love to him in so many different ways…why now did it feel like we were total strangers…in a very romantic, exciting way?

"I am.", I felt my cheeks get hot, "Would you like to come in for a sec?"

"Sure, thanks.", he waited for me to step back and open the door further. He entered, keeping his eyes on me and handing me the rose, "This is for you."

"It's beautiful.", I took it with a timid hand and brought it to my nose, smelling it with a grin.

He smiled at me and said, "It is _**now**_."

Oh my God. Would it be bad of me to tackle him to the floor now?

"Nice place.", he commented, looking around, hands behind his back.

"Thanks.", I blushed again, "I'm not all that great on decorating, but…it's not a bad place."

"I like your stools.", he gave a little smirk, and I almost smirked back at him.

"So do I…lately.", I gave a little nervous laugh, getting a vase out of the cabinet, turning the kitchen faucet and putting some water into it.

He looked at me, as if asking what I meant and I just said, "Private joke."

His lips did that little pout again, I think he was trying not to laugh.

"So, what movie are we seeing?", I asked out of curiosity, going to the sofa to get my purse.

"The Philadelphia Story.", he replied and I felt my mouth fall open a bit.

"What's wrong?", he asked.

"Nothing.", I smiled, "I just expected something like…I don't know, a new movie…guys usually love explosions and action and cars…"

He smiled more and said, "Not me. I love black and white films. Pure, simple…honest…without the sleaze of today's movies. Do you prefer something newer?"

"Oh, no.", I quickly denied, "I totally agree with you. I love old movies. And I love Jimmy Stewart."

"Me too.", he grinned, "Most people just know him from It's a Wonderful Life, but that's not even his best work."

"I know!", I agreed and thought how strange I've been with Edward all this time and never knew this stuff about him. A dark part of me almost scoffed and said he was playing another role for me…but I dismissed that idea and really believed him.

"I love Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, too.", I said, "But I haven't seen that since I was a teenager."

"Well, perhaps if we have a second date, we could see that next.", he charmed the panties off me.

"I would love that.", I smiled, shivering a little.

He didn't say anything, but we shared a silent look between us, both wishing this is how we'd really met…and that we were these carefree characters we were playing, with no worries and no obstacles in our way.

"Shall we go, then, Bella?", he said at last, "If it's alright, I thought we'd walk. The movie theatre is just a few blocks away and it's beautiful out."

"I love walking.", I agreed, letting him open the door for me as we left my place.

"Be careful on these stairs.", I said as I began to descend them, "There are sometimes shady characters lurking around here, waiting to jump on unsuspecting women after they get their mail."

He almost laughed but then said, "Don't worry, Bella. I'll protect you."

"Thanks.", I held the door for him and we were outside in the nice, cool evening breeze, on the strangely quiet sidewalk, walking side by side.

I love how the air felt moving my hair back away from my shoulders as I stole a glance at my blind date, loving the way he looked…and smelled…and talked.

"So, you go to NYC, huh?", he asked about my college.

"Yea.", I admitted, "I love it there. I'm majoring in Psychiatry."

"I went there, too.", he said, "Before I went to medical school."

I almost didn't know what to say…I knew this part was fiction but I didn't want to ruin it for either of us.

"That's part of the reason I agreed to a blind date.", he said next, walking at a nice slow, even pace, as if not rushing to get there too soon, "I'm stuck in the ER all the time, I never get a chance to meet women unless they're bleeding and screaming."

I gave a little laugh and said, "No, please, no bleeding, no screaming…I'm very squeamish. I'd hate to pass out and miss the movie."

"Bella, you won't miss a thing.", he said, giving me a smile…and I wondered what he meant by that. Before I could analyze it, he laughed and added, "I meant that as a compliment."

I noticed he walked beside me, but didn't get too close, he never touched me, as if this was a real first date and we had never met before. It was nice…I was enjoying myself, much to my surprise.

Once in the little sleepy movie theatre, Edward made me laugh by getting us all the junk food he could buy us. Popcorn with lots of real butter, sodas the size of beer pitchers, and lots of candy filled our arms as we went to the only theatre in the place and looked for a good seat. It wasn't very hard. There was only two other people in the movie, in separate seats.

"Hmmm…", Edward stood there, conflicted, not moving.

"What?", I grinned at him.

"Well, this is a very important moment, Bella.", he informed, "And it may decide our whole future together…if we have one."

"What are you talking about?", I giggled.

"Where you prefer to sit.", he said, as if it should've been obvious, "If you sit in the middle, it means you play it safe and go along with the status quo, willing to be one of the sheep. If you sit in the front…well…that's just…wrong. That's for old ladies who can't see and retarded children."

"Oh, but the back is the cool place to sit, right?", I asked, wise to his motives, "Or is it for those who want people to think they're cool and have insecurity issues?"

"No.", he quickly snapped back as I laughed.

"If you sit in the back, then it means you love to relax and enjoy standing back and watching classic movie moments unfurl on their own without crowding them.", he said.

I just shot him a look and he smiled.

"And, also, it's a great place to make out.", he chuckled.

"Well, then my choice is clear.", I walked to the last row and walked into it, sitting in the middle of the row. He was behind me, smiling, without saying anything else, setting our sodas in their holders in the arm of our seats.

"Good choice, Bella.", he whispered as the lights went down.

The movie was beyond wonderful. The dialogue was beautifully old fashioned and every word was almost like poetry to me.

Gentleman Edward never tried to make a pass or hold my hand, even as we watched the story unfold.

The love scene between James Stewart and Katherine Hepburn came and I just melted as he said to her, "There's a magnificence in you, Tracy. A magnificence that comes out of your eyes…and your voice, and the way you stand there, and the way you walk…you're lit from within, Tracy. You've got fires banked down in you…hearth fires and holocausts!"

I looked at Edward and knew exactly what those words meant…Edward is like that for me. And when I looked at him…he was looking at me, too. But I didn't take my eyes away from him…I held his gaze as the actors kept talking to each other. His hand found mine on the arm of my chair and he laid his upon it, gently curling around it…and I started to feel hot and a little sweaty suddenly. This is magic!

"I don't seem…too made of bronze?", Tracy asks. This was something her asshole father called her, a tough woman back then scared men and he said she wasn't real, she was made of bronze, because she was smart and strong. I could relate to that. A lot of boys saw me as a bookworm, not a girl to date. But Edward was different. He seemed to SEE me…

"No, you're flesh and blood…" he says to her, "That's the blank, unholy surprise of it. You're the golden girl, Tracy…full of life and warmth and delight."

Edward's face was moving so slowly I didn't even know he was moving until he was almost nose to nose with me…

"What goes on, you've got tears in your eyes?", James Stewart asks Tracy.

And I felt tears in my eyes. And a half second later, I felt the most innocent, intense kiss I had ever known.

I lost track of the actors on the screen for awhile but our kiss deepened. I felt no tongue, though, this was a gentleman's first kiss…and I loved it. I felt like I was in an old movie now.

On screen, the lovers were kissing, too, and just as we finished our kiss, I heard Katherine Hepburn breathe, "Golly…Golly Moses…"

Edward and I both laughed, still looking at each other. We didn't say anything to each other, but he held my hand all through the rest of the movie…and it was the most incredible feeling. It was nothing…but everything.

Jimmy Stewart then asks Tracy if this could be love and she says, no, it can't be.

And he asks her, "Would it be inconvenient?"

"Terribly!", she answers, then later, she says, "We're out of our minds!"

I smiled a little, understanding this too. It's amazing how you can relate to a movie made so long ago, today in 2009. But I got the message. Love isn't always convenient, fitting perfectly into your schedule. I found myself saying a little prayer…even if Edward would find it a waste of time…there has to be someone somewhere who can hear me…and understand…and show me the way. Please.

The movie ended and Edward hadn't tried doing anything sexual to me in the lonely, dark theatre. I almost wondered if he would try something. This was a perfect setting for some semi-public scene…but he remained my considerate date…and I had to admit, it was nice.

As we left the theatre, Edward was still holding my hand, saying, "They don't make movies like that anymore. Hell, they don't have actors like that anymore."

"I know.", I agreed, "Although I do love Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan movies…"

"Yea, they do have something when they're together, don't they?", he grinned at me, "I wonder if they've ever been together…in private."

I just laughed a little at that and gave his hand a little squeeze, hoping he read that message as 'I love this date and you are doing so well, Edward'.

"Where are we going now?", I asked after a little pause between us.

"There's a great little place a few blocks down that I thought you'd like.", he informed, giving a nod forwards, "It's Italian. Do you like Italian?"

"Are you kidding?", I asked, "It's my favorite. I live for a good marinara sauce and mozzerella cheese."

"Oh, the sauce here is to die for.", he smiled more, showing those gleaming white teeth.

We talked about our favorite parts of the movie on the way to the restaurant and when we got there, Edward asked for a nice, quiet table, slipping the hostess a folded up bill.

He touched the small of my back as we were taken to a little round table in a dimly lit corner. He pushed my chair in for me and then he sat across from me, opening his menu.

"I'm not going to be one of those guys who tells his date what she should order.", he said right out, "I think that is an insult. You have a mind and you can choose for yourself. I like a woman who can think for herself."

I smiled at him and thought that comment just earned him about 1,000 points.

"Well, thank you, Edward.", I replied, looking over my menu, "I've always hated it when men order my food for me. It makes me feel like I'm five years old."

He grinned and gave a single nod of his head.

When the waitress came over, Edward ordered himself a good ordinary spaghetti and meatballs with "lots of sauce" and garlic bread for both of us, and a coke.

I liked that he wasn't trying to impress me by ordering some fancy meal or an expensive wine.

I ordered the same thing as he did, really wanting that for myself before he ordered, and then I silently scolded myself for not being the "woman who could choose and think for herself." He just smiled at me as the waitress left and looked around him.

"Do you like it here, Bella?", he asked, a true gentleman.

"Yes, very much.", I answered, sipping my water, "It's very cozy and I feel comfortable here. Some restaurants make me nervous."

"I got the feeling you didn't like to be wined and dined.", he observed.

"Edward?", I looked up into his eyes, "Can I just…say one thing…for a second?"

He looked a little confused but said, "Sure.", anyway.

"I didn't really help you much, earlier, when you asked me how you were going to handle it when you had to leave.", I broke character because it had been bothering me all night. He asked me for guidance and I didn't give any. I just stomped my foot and said he wasn't leaving…when I didn't really know that for sure.

"Bella…", he looked a little scared.

"The truth is…", I took a breath, "I don't know what to say to that. I don't know how to tell you to get through it because…I don't know myself how I'm going to be able to go on without you. I don't want to think about it. But as your Dr., I would have to say something like, 'Nothing is forever. You must move on and take it one day at a time. Accept that it is over. Be glad for the time we had.' Bullshit. The truth is, there's no answer. It's going to hurt for both of us…like Hell. But we have to live through it…somehow. Edward, if you were serious about that killing yourself stuff you said, then I need to take you somewhere now."

He swallowed and his eyes turned serious.

"I don't want to kill myself, Bella.", he whispered between us, "Please forget that. It was a long time ago. I got over that. I don't need to go anywhere. I am where I need to be."

The waitress came over with the food and Edward went back into date mode.

"Wow, this looks sooo good.", he said as our plates were put down on the table, along with our cokes.

I just watched him as he winked at me and began twirling his spaghetti into his spoon with his fork.

"Thank you, Bella.", he said, simply, in response to what I had said a moment ago, and I felt the real emotion in his voice when he'd said it. His eyes burned into mine and I saw that he appreciated my answer to his question and I hoped he saw that my last words were an attempt to help him, not jail him in some mental institution.

"You're welcome, Edward.", I gave a little smile and began to cut up my spaghetti, giggling as Edward scolded me for doing so.

The rest of our dinner was fun and wonderful. I really felt like I just met Edward tonight but I was already falling for him. He let me talk about my classes and friends. He didn't make up any medical school stories or friends, though, and I was glad. That would've made me sad, hearing him weave tales of things that never were…but could've been.

He would've been a great doctor.

I started talking about my father, deciding to stop telling college stories. They might make him a little sad, since he couldn't finish college. Then, ten minutes into my Charlie stories, I thought maybe father stories would make him feel just as empty as the school stories.

But Edward always looked interested as I spoke, and he laughed and smiled in all the right places.

Before I knew it, we were stuffed and Edward was paying the check, along with a nice tip for the waitress. I was glad we had a nice walk ahead of us because I felt like a bloated whale as Edward pulled out my chair for me.

"That was so good.", Edward walked beside me again, this time a little closer than earlier. He didn't try to hold my hand again and I wondered if I did something wrong.

"Yea, you were right.", I smiled, "That sauce was the best."

"Definitely.", he agreed.

Maybe I shouldn't have said what I said, breaking character after we ordered our food. No. I meant that and it was important. It had to be said. I shouldn't have talked about school so much…shit!

"I haven't had so much fun on a date before.", he said, in a less playful mood now.

I was surprised and when I looked at him he was smiling at me, the wind ruffling his hair a bit, making it look messier…and sexier than before.

"Me either.", I admitted, "The last date I was on, I nearly choked to death on my soda."

Edward looked ahead of us and flashed that smile again, lightly chuckling to himself.

I noticed, though, that the closer we got to my place, the more nervous and tense Edward appeared.

"Are you alright?", I asked.

"Yea…", his eyes darted to mine, then he looked at his shoes, and glumly added, "Yea."

I decided to have some guts and clear the air a little.

"I always get so nervous at the end of a first date.", I confessed, "I'm always scared, wondering about the kiss at the doorway. Will it happen, will it not…if it does happen, will it be great…or not so great?"

Edward gave me a little grin now, not saying anything.

"I find it's better to just not stress over it…", I went on, "And just let happen…whatever will happen."

"That's easy for you to say, you're the girl.", he pointed out.

"Woman.", I corrected, "And that's kind of a sexist remark, don't you think?"

"No, I'm not trying to be sexist.", he smiled more, "I'm just saying…the woman gets to stand there and wait…the man is the one who has to make the first move."

"Well, then, I'm now changing the rules.", I informed, "You are not allowed to kiss me goodnight. I will be in charge of that."

"I'm not allowed?", he laughed.

"No.", I answered, grinning.

"Hmmm…", he smirked, "I don't know if I like it, being ordered around this way. In the ER, I usually give out all the orders."

"You'll live.", I smiled, liking the way gentleman Edward doesn't like being ordered around. That says a lot. I'd have to analyze that more later on.

He seemed to relax a little and then I wondered what the hell I had done. I'm no great kisser, I don't have all these romantic moves…what the hell am I going do once we get to my door? Oh, God! I'm going to make a huge fool of myself.

We finally got to my door and he walked me up the stairs to my apartment door, not saying anything until we stood there, looking at each other timidly.

"I want to thank you for such a great time, Edward Cullen.", I said, meaning that.

"It was all my pleasure, Bella Swan.", he smiled back.

"I hope…", I said, "we can go out again sometime."

"I would love that.", he smiled and it did things to my intestines.

"Me too.", I said, not making any moves yet to kiss him. This is so strange. I feel like I can't do it. Like it's too soon. That's nuts.

"Well…", he hesitated, looking down the stairs, "I'd better go."

"Goodnight.", I heard myself say and inside my head was screaming, 'WHAT?!!'

He looked a little confused and then said, "Goodnight, Bella."

Slowly, he began to walk away a couple steps and I felt sick. He thinks I didn't like this date…that I don't like the gentleman he was tonight. NO! I had to stop him now!! I summoned courageous, sexy Bella, making myself become that little flirt Edward was when I first met him.

"Hey!", I shouted and he froze, turning to me without walking back yet.

"Where do you think YOU'RE going?", I demanded.

"I…", he began, "You said…"

"Get your ass back here.", I made myself say, "I'm not finished with you yet."

He looked puzzled but he came back without a word.

Without another word, I grabbed him by the sweater, slammed his back into the door and pulled the sweater to me, bending him so I could kiss those spectacular lips of his.

I heard him making a couple of little sounds…surprised little moans as I opened my lips and fully inhaled his kiss, making it stronger.

He tasted like garlic and the best Italian sauce I had ever had…I devoured his taste.

I broke the kiss and heard his heavy breathing hovering over me as his eyes stared down into my soul.

Handing him my apartment key, I tried to give him a sexy smile and said, "Would you like to come inside, Edward Cullen?"

He took the key from me and looked down at it…he really did look nervous, as if he'd never done this before. Then I remembered…he hasn't made love without games or toys or orders for so long…this is kind of new for him. Maybe he's afraid he'll disappoint me or something.

"Bella…", he breathed, looking at me with these sad eyes, "What if you…don't like me…this way?"

I knew it. He's so silly.

"Edward…", I kissed him softly now, "I want the real you now. And I will love it…almost as much as I love you. Don't be afraid. Trust me."

"I do.", he whispered, kissing me again, touching my face. He turned and slid the key into the lock, opening the door as I hugged his back, laying my face on the toned muscle beneath the fluffy sweater.

He took my hand and led me into the dark apartment, kissing me again as he slammed the door closed, locking it, sealing us in together.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

See next chapter soon!!

HA HA HA !! I know, I'm evil, cutting you off there…and letting Edward slam the door in your faces…sorry!! (evil smile)

PS – What do you think of Edward's plan to keep Bella away after he leaves? Do you think he'll be able to do it?

And what did you think of their date?

Love

WinndSinger


	20. Taking Action

20

Wednesday, Day 10

EPOV

Oh. My. God.

Those three words were the only ones I could hear in my own head all night long and with the uprising sun, they were still there. I felt like a god damned teenager last night at Bella's door and couldn't believe the fear inside of me when she called me back and wanted me to come inside with her.

I know it was my idea…and I did want it. But I never thought I could actually do it. Deep down inside me, I thought back to my love making with Tanya, and she never seemed all that excited by me…and in the end of our marriage, we didn't make love at all. Somewhere along the line, I convinced myself that learning all these games, tricks, and role plays made me a better lover than I was before.

I thought that women liked all these games and things…and maybe they did, for the moment…but I wanted to give Bella more. I wanted to truly make love to her, not leave her a bunch of empty scenes starring me that she would grimace remembering someday. And as soon as I suggested it, I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to pull it off and that I would disappoint her terribly, not to mention embarrass myself beyond belief.

I was totally out of my league here, and I hated that. I couldn't fall back on my pretend personalities and confidant bedroom lines now…and I felt like a fucking virgin, so inept and inadequate. This would be only me making love to her now…and I never liked me. Why would she? She would surely like the fantasy me much better, wouldn't she?

I kept thinking, am I going too fast? Too slow? Hard enough? Softer? I was a shivering wreck in the beginning but Bella amazed me.

I suspect she liked it that I wasn't the cool, suave one anymore. Perhaps she liked my vulnerable side, being a lover of broken things needing repair. But she was so powerful, calm, tender, loving and guiding. And she didn't humiliate me, either, and I just loved her even more for that. _**She**_ was teaching _**me**_ now.

We never rushed anything…everything was slow and incredible. We didn't even get to the bed until almost an hour after we went inside. We sat on the floor and talked in the dark, just touching, still fully clothed. I never thought I'd get chills from stroking a girl's fingers…but I did. I learned Bella's whole body…not just her best parts. And she had learned mine…and we made complete, blissful, tormenting, passionate love to each other. I truly felt one with her…it was as if our souls melted into one another and now, could not be separated again, even if our bodies went their own different ways. I sound like such a girl…but it's the only way I know how to explain it.

I never felt anything like that before. It was beyond any sexual experience I'd ever known. It was almost…spiritual.

We never got to sleep. Bella had just fallen asleep a few minutes ago but my body is too charged to fall asleep right now. I feel like I could run ten miles if I wanted to.

I laid on my stomach and just stared at her, laying my cheek on my folded arms.

I can never hit on Bella's friends…I can't hurt her. I had hurt Tanya endlessly and I never got to try to apologize for any of it. I couldn't do that to Bella now.

There is a line across Bella's apartment door, too. I had crossed it last night and entered a new world…a world only she could invite me into, a world I didn't deserve permanent access to.

To hurt her now, after all her hours of trying to help save my body and mind…to leave that way…that would be another invisible red line I'd be crossing and I'd regret that forever, too. I can't keep making such stupid mistakes in my life over and over again. And I couldn't use Alice, either, not after the way she had helped Bella try to save me.

I will do it Bella's way. I will honestly tell her the truth. It may be more painful, but at least she'll know the truth. And she won't hate me. I hope. That would cripple me beyond repair, knowing that she was somewhere crying and scowling my name, loathing my memories with her.

Later that afternoon, when she woke up, I had a nice little lunch ready for her and I asked her for a nice long day of therapy. She looked surprised and a little worried that maybe I hadn't liked our special night together.

First off, I told her how life changing last night was for me…and I thanked her for her magnificent confidence and guidance, not to mention patience during it all. To her credit, she acted like she didn't know what I was talking about and told me in return how amazing I was. I decided not to argue with her on this and just left it at that. She said she enjoyed it as much as I had…but I'm sure the pleasure was mostly all mine.

I told her a lot more about the night of the fire and had bawled, embarrassed, for a long time. She sat beside me and held me and let me cry all I wanted. She even made me laugh because she had bought me a set of handkerchiefs, saying it was better than using tissues.

I told her every detail of the night I sat next to Katie in the hospital, not allowed to touch her as she cried for her Mommy, and I had to beg her not to cry because the saltwater from her tears was hurting her burnt face.

Then I gave her the visual of me screaming for the doctors to give her more painkillers and to give her something to make her sleep because my heart couldn't stand it anymore.

And then, hours later, as the sun was coming up and I was sobbing beside my sleeping daughter, Ben and Angela arrived, just in time to hear from the police that their daughter's body was found in the ruins of our apartment building and that she was gone.

I told her the terror of talking to your little girl on a cell phone, trying to stay calm and tell her how to open a stuck window while you can see the floor beneath hers blazing and crackling in the flames.

Do you know how fucked up it is…seeing a fireman holding your daughter and saying she's alright and they're coming up…and your heart flies, thinking you've been granted a miracle…and then the building explodes…and before you have a chance to look again…you can hear the fireman and your daughter howling?

Not to mention the sheer fucking agony of hearing your three year old daughter screaming in a pain they've never known, and shouldn't have to know – ever, while her body burns…and you, praying to God, screaming that the burning fireman holding her doesn't drop her in his own mind numbing torture…and that the firemen on the roof keep pulling them up as fast as they can so they can extinguish your baby girl…and the awful moments waiting after that…waiting to hear if she survived…or if she was dead.

The one moment of bittersweet joy I had that night was the fireman's voice coming back on the radio of the firefighter beside me.

"The little girl's alive!", his voice had shouted in a celebratory tone, "She's still alive!"

I relived it all…for Bella. And she never once buckled under or wanted me to stop with my morbid stories. She was there for me. How could I have even thought of hurting Bella by hitting on her friend? I wanted to vomit now just thinking about it.

I still to this day don't know how Tanya died from smoke inhalation while Katie woke up and answered the phone for me. The autopsy said she died before the fire touched her. And the cause of the fire they said was wiring problems. The nightlight tried to tell me after I tucked Katie in…but I didn't care enough to pay attention. I was stewing inside about Tanya and ignored that little sign of warning.

I kept saying I should've gotten her out…and Bella kept telling me over and over and over again that it wasn't my fault…that if it wasn't for me calling Katie on the phone…she would've died, too…and that sometimes horrible things happen. And sometimes, some good things come out of pain.

After a couple hours of talking, as Bella held my with her one arm while I laid my head on her shoulder, I finally asked.

"Do you really think my relationship with Katie is…damaged?", I asked, hating that her words still bothered me about that.

She hugged me to her tighter and took a breath.

"I sometimes think how hard this must be on her.", she said, "And it hurts me inside to put myself in her place. First, she goes through that terrifying, painful night. Then she finds out her mother is gone. Then she has to deal with the fact that she is severely burned and disfigured. I'm sure she saw pain in your eyes as you looked at her…and then the looks of nurses and doctors…I'm sure somewhere along the line…she had to have seen her own reflection. And that fireman that died saving her…maybe she feels like that's all her fault. And then, awhile later, her father leaves, too. That has to send a message to her."

"I told you why I had to leave! I didn't want to! ", I sat up and clenched my fists, staring at them instead of looking at Bella. I knew she was right…but I didn't want to.

"But no one ever told Katie why you left, did they?", she asked.

"They told her I had to go away, to work, so she could have her operations and be alright again.", I explained with a cold voice.

"Children don't always believe what they're told, Edward.", she pointed out, "Sometimes they make up their own reasons. I honestly feel…that Katie thinks you left because she was so badly burned and wasn't pretty anymore. She sees how beautiful you and her mother are…and maybe feels she isn't wanted because she lost her beauty."

"That's a bunch of shit!", I snarled, hating this. But Bella remained composed and went on.

"Or…maybe she thinks it's her fault Tanya died in the fire.", Bella said and that's something that never occurred to me before.

"Maybe she thinks if she could've waken up her mother that night, when you told her to, that she'd be alive today…and maybe she thinks…you're angry with her for not being able to do it.", Bella said and didn't speak as my legs began to tremble.

I felt ill inside…Jesus Christ, Bella could be right about this…maybe Katie does think these ridiculous things…she could be blaming herself for all this…just like I do.

I remembered her words on the phone that night when she picked up the phone…"Are you mad, Daddy?"

I raced into the bathroom and got sick right in front of Bella, not even having time to close the door behind me. I hated putting Bella through this…but she didn't run away from it…or me.

She stood behind me, stroking my hair and patting my back, saying she was sorry…sniffling and crying to herself. She waited a few minutes as I waited for my legs to strengthen enough to raise me up and she got me a towel as I weakly stood and brushed my teeth, wondering what I would say now to impress her after I had made a complete fool of myself.

But then a strange feeling came over me. I don't have to impress Bella or make her think I'm some sex God or Casinova…I can be myself with her. I haven't had that feeling for years, with any woman.

When I came back to the sofa, Bella sat beside me again and put my head back on her shoulder as she ran her fingernails through my hair, saying in a very quiet and soothing voice, "I think Katie is hurting as much as you are, Edward. And I'm sure Ben and Angela are loving people but her suffering can only end when you go to her…and explain everything…and let her know you've always loved her and always will. And that none of this is her fault. Only you can say that to her, face to face. And then, maybe the two of you can start to heal."

I wanted to go…right now…and bring Bella with me. Florida is only a couple hours away by plane. This would be my only chance to go. Victoria would never let me go visiting my daughter in Florida once my time with Bella was over. I do have four days left before I have to go back. But can I really just pop in and pop back out of Katie's life after all this time? It would hurt her more and it would certainly kill me. If I go back to see Katie, I'll never leave. And Victoria will come after me…and tell Katie what I am…and then she'll kill them…and drag me back home with her. I've seen what Victoria can do…and I'll never let her get near my daughter.

I guess I was physically showing signs of discomfort because Bella said, "Shhhh, alright…don't think about that right now. You can go to her whenever you want. Once you are ready. No one can really stop you once you're ready to go back to her."

"Can we talk about your parents a little more now?", she asked me, wanting to go from one painful subject to another.

"The Pricks?", I asked with a little anger in my voice now, not moving from Bella's shoulder, "Sure, why not? It's a fucked up kinda day, anyway."

"What exactly happened…with them and Tanya?", she asked, curiously, "I mean, you said they met her once…and didn't like her…and told you to dump her or else you were cut out of their lives? That seems a little extreme to me. What did she do that was so horrible?"

"I don't know.", I said, still as shocked now as I was then, "My parents made this beautiful dinner, or had it made, and invited us over and they both hugged me like they never hugged me before…and then I introduced them to Tanya and they looked very tense…my father looked sick!

"He covered his mouth, even and rushed out of the room. I thought they were being rude to her but my mother said I didn't understand…and she tried to be nice to Tanya but her face was like…rock! "

My father came to sit at the dining room table with us for a minute in the middle of our meal and then he jumped up again and left, saying he couldn't do this. She hardly said five words to him! "

"Then Joseph asked me to come alone to see my father in his study. That's when my father told me that he never wanted Tanya in his house again. He asked me how serious I was about Tanya and I told him I loved her…I wanted to marry her after school was over."

"He looked sick again and said I couldn't marry her and to find some other girl, any other girl. I told him to go fuck himself and he got mad and threatened if I didn't break up with her, he'd disown me…and I would be on my own from then on. And I could never come back there again."

"I couldn't believe it…I still can't. But he meant it, obviously. I got Tanya and I left…and I told my mother what Carlisle had said. She said she had to agree, and again, that I didn't understand."

"I left there and swore I'd never come back, for anything. I'd rather starve first. I waited all my life for them…waiting to get some approval or any kind of attention. Finally, it seemed like they wanted to be part of my life that night…and then they pulled that shit on me. It was just the last straw."

"That is weird.", Bella said, thinking over all I'd just told her, "Did your father know her before? It seems like…as soon as he saw her…he didn't like her."

"No, my father didn't know her before.", I frowned, wondering why Bella would think that, "They'd never met before."

"You're sure?", Bella asked.

"Yes, I'm sure.", I said, _**mostly**_ sure of that.

"You don't understand….", Bella said to herself, repeating my mother's words, "There's more to it than they just didn't like her…there's something else…"

I was thinking this over as well now, and before I got very far, Bella said, "And I notice, you were a fighter back then. You told your father to go fuck himself. I wish I could get that fight back into you now."

"I'm different now, Bella.", I admitted, "I don't have any fight left in me. A lot of shit has happened to me since then."

"I know, baby, I know…", she said softly, kissing my head, "It will take time to build that up in yourself again...but you can do it."

Sure… in between my pizza deliveries and appointments with Raven…not to mention my special starring roles in the series of men in pain videos.

"Oh, Victoria, I'll be back later…I'm going to my Dr. appointment to learn to fight back against you. I won't be long."

I let out a breath and didn't want to argue with Bella right now. I hated to admit it, but I was liking therapy today. And I loved Bella's fingernails in my hair, scratching my scalp lightly.

"I know.", I said, hoping she'd leave it at that.

"And what happened when you said…you went back?", Bella asked.

"The money I got from the loan sharks restored Katie's internal organs enough so she didn't have to be in this oxygen chamber tent. She hated it in there…and then she could breathe normal air again. And I could touch her again. That was one of the best days of my life. I kissed every inch of her face and she kissed me, too."

I nearly bawled again but I held it in, clearing my throat and continuing.

I sniffed, letting a single tear go, Bella couldn't see it from her angle next to me.

Once it was time to pay those loan sharks back, I didn't know what to do. Ben and Angela were back in Florida, but I couldn't ask their help again, not after I killed their daughter and burned their granddaughter."

"Edward…", Bella growled, not liking it that I kept blaming myself.

"Besides that,", I said, "Ben's factory was having problems. He was doing all he could to save it. They make plastic hangers, I guess it's not a booming business. The sick thing is, if he made sex toys, he'd be a billionaire. God, this world sucks."

"Go on with your story, Mr. Positive.", Bella ruffled my hair.

"I almost robbed a bank.", I confessed, "I was going to use a toy gun of Katie's and go up to a teller with a note. I wrote it out and everything. But as I was walking up to the bank, I couldn't do it. I chickened out. Besides, I'd probably get caught and would either be shot or rot in jail. And I didn't want that. Katie would find out, it'd be in the paper…and it wouldn't make those guys go away that wanted their money."

"One night,", I said, "I saw those guys in the hospital…looking for my daughter's room."

I sobbed again and pushed it back.

"I don't know if they wanted to kidnap her to get me to pay them, or if they wanted to hurt her…but I didn't care. Either way, I had to get her out of there. I wrapped her up in a couple blankets and snuck her out of there. God knows how I managed to do that without anyone stopping me. But this is how fucked up the world is. No one stopped me. I could've been anyone carrying her out of there and not one person stopped me. That still pisses me off to this day!"

"The closest place to go was my parent's house.", I said blankly, "If those guys were following me…I had to hurry and get her somewhere safe…fast. So I swallowed all my stupid pride and went there. I knocked on the door and my mother answered it. I was holding Katie in my arms, thank GOD she was asleep, because my mother took one look at me and her…and nearly screamed…and slammed the door. She fucking slammed the door in my face…in Katie's face! Because Katie wasn't beautiful…or perfect! You'd think being a doctor's wife she'd be tougher, more able to handle seeing burns or sickness and disease…"

I stopped for a minute, trying to water down my hatred for my mother before getting on my father next.

"I woke Katie up when I started kicking their door, pounding on it, and yelling. I lost control of myself.", I said, feeling tears in my eyes again, "I scared Katie and she was crying while I shouted my rage and cried myself, all the while screaming at them, in a rage. I told them I didn't want to come in…but if they could just…take her and care for her in his hospital…I would owe them my life…I would do anything. My father turned on the intercom, not even man enough to show his face to me and said 'Go away, Edward. We can't help you. Take Kaitlyn far away from here…now.' And that's all he said to me. I was switched off, like I was one of the fucking help! Then I called Ben and Angela. They got on the first plane and came for her."

"Wait.", Bella tensed a moment, "They knew her name?"

"Yes.", I said.

"Edward, they knew her name.", Bella said again.

"So?"

"If you don't care about a child born to your forgotten son, then why would you know her name?", Bella asked, "Edward…I think they did…care. I don't know why they acted the way they did…but I think we're missing some of the story here."

"What story?", I asked, "They're pricks, pure and simple."

"I don't think so, Edward.", Bella stood up, looking excited about something, looking at me, "I think we need to get the whole story. If they're anything like you, they won't reveal everything all at once…but we should talk to them."

"I'm nothing like them.", I didn't like hearing that out of Bella's mouth.

"Edward…", she looked at me deeper, "Remember your trick of pushing people away?"

_**Remember it? I was planning on doing it to you just yesterday.**_

"Yea, so?", I squinted.

"I think your parents are doing the same to you…but why is what we have to find out.", she sounded like an episode of Scooby Doo.

"How're you gonna do that?", I almost scoffed.

"Call them.", she said simply, taking out her notebook, writing something.

"No, Bella.", I said through gritted teeth, "You will _**not**_ call them."

"What are you so afraid of, Edward?", she stopped and put her notebook down, sitting on the floor at my feet, taking my hands into hers, her gaze full of compassion and love.

"They won't talk to you, even if you do call them.", I further warned.

She would do it, I know it. Bella would be the type to call them anyway.

"I know it hurts…their rejection of you and Tanya…and even Katie.", she said cautiously, staring up at me, rubbing her thumbs in slow circles over my hands, "But there must be more to it. Just like Katie is probably thinking the wrong things about your absence, you're probably thinking the wrong things about why your parents aren't there for you. If you talked to them, maybe you'd see it's not your fault after all. Like I said, children always think it's their fault. You're doing just that. You have to find out or you'll never get over it."

"I never wanted Katie to be alone like I was…being cared for by other people. I tried so hard to give her the family I never had. And I screwed up…and now she doesn't have me or Tanya.", I heard my voice crack.

"It's time to stop weeping over the past, Edward.", she said, her voice stronger now, "Tears don't change things, Edward. Actions do. These next four days shouldn't be wasted. You'll never get this little window of time again. Use it. Don't let it slip by. Let's take action, Edward. Let's try."

"What if things go wrong?", I asked, hating sounding so afraid and weak.

"What if things go right?", she countered with, shutting me up, "So many things have gone wrong…I have to believe that you have some right coming to you. But it's not going to fall into your lap, Edward. You have to get off your ass and fight for it. Fight for Katie, if nothing else. Let her be your armor. Stop being so afraid. I'm with you. You're not alone anymore."

I felt so scared but Bella's words made me feel braver…tougher.

Finally, after a long pause, I almost croaked out the words.

"What do we do first?", I wondered aloud.

"Tomorrow…we take a very big step.", Bella informed me with confidence, "Your parents are coming over."

"What?", I almost shouted, my eyes gaping at her.

"I called them…yesterday after you left.", she confessed, "I wanted to call someone who cares about you…and I had to call them. They are where your life began, they have to care somehow about you."

"You spoke to them?", I stood up, looking further down at her as she sat on the floor, not moving her position.

"I spoke to Joseph.", she said calmly, "I said that I thought they should come see you and talk things over. He was very nice. He agreed with me. He said he'd talk to them and let me know if they would see you. A half hour later, he called back and said they'd be here tomorrow. I was going to wait until they got here to say anything, have you blindfolded and handcuffed to a chair when they came in…but I thought, that's not fair to you. You should be prepared. I didn't want to betray your trust."

Even though I was going to betray hers when I thought of hitting on Alice. I suck. I don't deserve this girl.

"Did you tell…Joseph what I am?", I asked, praying to God she didn't.

She frowned up at me, "Absolutely not. What kind of person do you think I am? I know he's like a father to you. I even asked him and Katherine to come along, but he said that's probably not a good idea."

"Yea, my parent's wouldn't be seen going anywhere with the help!", I turned my back to her, sounding bitter again, but I couldn't help it.

"I just might need you to handcuff me to a chair when they get here.", I felt so nervous and out of sorts suddenly, and they weren't even coming today.

"I'll stand in front of the door if you try to bolt.", she smiled, "How's that?"

"Will you stay with me, Bella?", I asked, feeling like a five year old, "I don't want to be alone with them."

"If you want me to, yes.", she agreed.

"Why would they come here now?", I wondered out loud, "They never gave a shit before. They didn't even call you back themselves."

"Well, now, that's a good question to ask them when they come in.", Bella sounded like my kindergarten teacher.

"I'm not going to be nice to them, Bella.", I informed.

"That's fine.", she shrugged, "Say anything you want…whatever you're feeling is okay. You don't have to pretend. But get it all out in the open. Demand to know why they treated you that way."

"Damn right.", I heard my voice say and lots of strength oozed out of my words.

Bella stood and wrapped her arms around me, laying her cheek to my heart and she said, "I'm so proud of you, Edward. You're so much stronger than you know."

"You make me strong, Bella.", I closed my eyes, holding her closer.

"No, Edward.", she looked up at me, "You can't get your strength from me. If we get separated, you'll think you have no strength anymore. Your strength is inside YOU…don't forget that. You'll always have it…with or without me. Okay?"

I had to smile at her and fall in love with her all over again.

"Okay, Dr. Bella.", I agreed.

"Thank you, Edward.", she held me close again, "For seeing them. I know how hard it is for you."

I let out a long breath and searched for something to say in response. I didn't want to see them or even hear them, but I would do it for her, if she thought it would help me somehow. Honestly, I just thought Bella would get to witness their further hatred and rejection of me firsthand. I was steeling myself inside for their disgust and indifference…but then…why would they agree to come here?

I didn't like being so unsure and I felt nauseous knowing they would be sitting in here tomorrow, trying to act polite and explain themselves.

I knew I couldn't be rescued from Victoria's cage, even if they did show up and apologized all over the place…and I wasn't hoping for any salvation…but Bella was right about one thing. They owed me an explanation. And I would never get a chance to talk to them again. I should use these next four days to get some answers, at least.

But deep down, I was still afraid. I didn't know why but I was. I needed Bella there. How would I even be able to look at them…let alone speak to them? I could see Bella being the mediator between us and that calmed me down a lot.

"Come on, let's go take a nice walk outside.", Bella took me by the hand and smiled, knowing how the air and sun healed me.

"Thanks, Bella.", I said as we reached her apartment door, "Thanks for telling me before they got here. If you had handcuffed me and blindfolded me and then let them in…it probably would've killed me."

"I know.", she winced, "I hate that even considered doing it that way…I thought you'd be too stubborn to agree to it…but then I thought…if I did that to you…I really would be Victoria…and Raven. Doing that to you, I think would be worse than anything they ever tried with you."

"You're right.", I agreed, "So…thank you for respecting me."

"After last night, I HAVE to respect you.", she smiled that fiery little smile as she yanked me out of the apartment, and slammed the door closed after me.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Yes, you must stay here, in Bella's apartment now until the next chapter!! LOL!!

I'm sorry to slam you guys twice in one week!!

Sorry this one was short, but next is a big chapter, so…hope this is okay for now.

Love ya!!

WinndSinger


	21. Ch 21 Not the Whole Truth

_**NOTES: THIS CHAPTER IS NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. ANY REVEALS MADE HERE ARE NOT TRUE, NOT REAL. READ ON TO CHAPTER 22 NEXT TO SEE FURTHER. READ THIS WITH A SENSE OF COMEDY. THIS POST WAS A MISTAKE AND I CORRECTED IT NEXT CHAPTER. READ ON AND TRUST ME. THANKS !**_

21

BPOV

Thursday, Day 11

Edward had been a bundle of nerves all night last night and he was no better off today. All he had been able to eat since I told him about his parents coming was Saltine crackers. He said he always feels nervous around them, even as a child, because it was a rarity that they ever came home.

I knew this was like another test for Edward. Every time they would come home, he would try to be what they wanted this time…hoping they'd accept him and love him…and they always left too soon. I could see he was doing that again…hoping they'd finally want him.

It was nice to see some hope in Edward's eyes…at last.

He had nightmares and he let me hold him, just like that first night I'd given him the nightshirt. We didn't make love or play any games that night. He really didn't look up to it with the mindset he was in. And he was apologizing all over the place but I told him to shut up…I told him I was tired and it was alright. Taking a night off doesn't make us any less lovers and I told him so. He seemed relieved by that and tried to get some sleep as he laid his face on my chest and I played with his hair, gently curling my other arm around him.

I hated hearing his dreams…he didn't tell me a lot about them but I figured some of them out.

"No, please…", he pleaded, panting for air, "Why? DAD!!"

That was the first one. I figured that was the night his parents met Tanya.

I talked him back to sleep and finally he went under again…and then this next nightmare came:

"Why are you doing this?!!", he cried, "What did I EVER do to you?!! Tanya is dead, PLEASE!! DAD!! She's just a baby, for CHRIST'S SAKE!! Killers are fucking following us, PLEASE – MOMMMM!!!!"

I had to shake him a few times to snap him out of that one. When he came to, his hands flung out and almost hit me and he was sweating…shaking…then crying and apologizing to me again.

I hated seeing him cry and I clung to him for dear life, wondering if having his parents over was a good idea at all now. Look what it was doing to him. But then the psychiatrist in me said – NO, Bella. Be tough. Edward has to face his pain and his demons. He's run from them for far too long. He must see this through. Just comfort him and be there for him. That's all you can do.

All in all, I think Edward got about…ten minutes of sleep that night. And now he was staring at the TV, watching cartoons and chomping on Saltines as it neared 1pm, the time they would be arriving.

He didn't say anything to me directly about it, but he went out at dawn and came back with five new outfits, and kept trying them all on, and changing them…and trying them on again.

He wants to make a good impression on them…and that gave me a little hope. He almost wore a tie and although he looked very GQ in it, I thought that was a little too much, so he changed again.

Finally, he stayed with a nice pair of gray slacks and a white button down shirt, long sleeved, the first two buttons opened. It looked dressy but at the same time, casual enough. He shaved very close and smelled awesome when he came out of the bathroom, complaining about his "fucked up" hair. I told him his fucked up hair is beautiful and not to mess with it. He wanted to gel it straight back so it looked "neater". I wouldn't allow that and hid his hair products.

Then I had to assure him six times that I could not see any of his lash marks through the white cotton of his shirt and he finally believed me and relaxed…sort of.

I kept gently assuring him that he didn't have to turn himself into something or someone else to impress them. They owed him the apologies, not the other way around. But I could understand his fears.

Finally, a knock gently tapped on the door and Edward leapt up and flung himself into the far corner of the living room, his arms crossed and his eyes down, looking away from the apartment door they were on the other side of. He was visibly trembling and trying to hide it.

"Edward…", I said, feeling my insides twist at his sudden stance of fear and defense…but he didn't look at me or even answer. He looked paralyzed with hurt.

"You can do this, Edward.", I whispered, as I backed myself towards the door, "I'm here with you…"

He didn't answer but I unlocked my door and opened it a crack, very nervous myself…but I had to shut that off now. I was needed here.

I saw a beautiful man's face above me and he gave a little smile. His white face was a lot like Edward's…but his nose was very different…elegantly chiseled to a sharp little point, soft, curved looking cheekbones and honey blonde hair, perfectly combed back. And a pair of butterscotch golden-brown eyes gleamed at me. He wore a very nice looking dark gray suit and a tie and I felt scared now that I told Edward no tie.

"Miss Swan?", he asked and I felt myself like him right away. If I were a new patient of his, I would trust him. That's only my first impression of the man at face value, though. I knew enough from Charlie to realize appearances lie sometimes.

"Yes.", I smiled.

"I am Carlisle Cullen.", he said and I could hear Edward breathing heavier in the corner behind me, "And this is my wife, Esme Cullen."

At this, she came out from behind him and this lovely, classy lady stepped forward. Her hair was swept up in an elegant twist and it was a rich, reddish-brown color that was not exactly like Edward's shade, but in the same neighborhood as that.

She, too, got all dressed up and had pearls around her neck and wore a pretty lavender dress, matching pumps too. Her makeup was flawless and her face looked so young…plastic surgery probably. But I saw what Edward meant. She looked perfect...and _too_ perfect. A little child could never touch someone this put together…she looked very…unhuggable.

"Hello, Miss Swan.", her voice was like an angel's…dripping with care, "Thank you so much for calling."

I knew Edward could hear them inside and I didn't want to prolong his misery, but before I let them in I wanted to ask some things first.

"No problem.", I grinned weakly, glancing back at Edward. His eyes were still looking out the window down at the street outside, although I knew he was listening to every word and screaming on the inside.

"Before you come in.", I said in a hushed voice, "Edward is inside. I hope you know this is very hard for him. Please…don't try to hug him just yet, at first…and…please let him say what he has to say. And give him time…to say it."

I saw Esme nod at me, her eyes intent on mine and listening carefully. Carlisle gave a quick nod and looked away, behind him. Avoidance. Like father, like son.

"Come in, please.", I opened the door all the way and let them slowly step inside.

They saw Edward there in the corner and he still made no effort to turn towards them or even look into the room we were standing in.

Carlisle and Esme looked at him with no words…and Esme looked very sad. Carlisle licked his lips, swallowed and just stood there, in the kitchen area, not daring to move too close to their son.

I would have to break the ice a little here.

"I'm sorry it's not very big.", I tried to sound light, "I'm in college nearby and I don't need much room."

"No, it's lovely here, Miss Swan.", Esme complimented.

"Oh, please, call me Bella.", I said, "Would you like anything? Coffee…or tea?"

"No thank you, Bella.", Carlisle said kindly.

"Well, why don't we all sit down and I can explain a little bit about who I am?", I offered.

They moved towards the sofa and sat down side by side. I sat in my chair and looked over at Edward. The only place left to sit was next to his mother on the sofa…but he was still in the corner, looking like a punished little boy.

I cleared my throat and Edward's eyes squinted at me, a glint of anger there that almost stunned me for a second…and then he looked out the window again.

"Edward may sit down later.", I said to them, trying to grin but they seemed to understand.

I had previously gotten rid of all Edward's tapes and my notebooks, not wanting them in view or even in danger of being heard by his parents.

"My name is Bella, as you know," I began, "And I major in psychiatry at New York University. I am working on my thesis and Edward, being a friend of mine, volunteered to be my subject. So we have been talking a lot about his past…and I thought it would be good for Edward and yourselves…to talk and perhaps resolve some things."

God, how much truth did I leave out of that paragraph? It doesn't matter. If Edward wants to tell them about his life, he will tell them, not me. I'm certainly not going to tell them their son is a male prostitute and a sex slave to boot.

Well, not yet anyway.

Maybe Edward was afraid I'd tell them. He should know me better than that by now.

"Well, that makes sense.", Carlisle glanced at his son's back and then to me, "I wasn't sure who you were when Joseph informed me of your call."

"Maybe you should've picked up the phone yourself then and called back.", Edward's voice seethed as he spoke from gritted teeth but his body didn't move and his eyes were still outside.

Oh, good. Communication.

Carlisle looked at Esme and then down at his folded hands, frowning a little.

"Edward…", I said his name gently, "Would you like to join us, please, and sit down?"

A long pause went by and then he sneered, "No."

I looked at them and decided that if I talked enough, eventually, Edward would get in this conversation. And his parents weren't leaving here until he got it together and said what he had to say…and got his answers in return.

"Edward has been through a lot.", I began, "And he has a lot of anger…when it comes to you. It's hurting him, still. Maybe…if you said something first…it would help him."

I put the ball in their court now and watched to see if they truly cared.

Esme spoke first.

"We haven't been…", she looked down, "..very good parents to Edward. I know that…I've always known that. We're almost strangers and that hurts me every single day. You probably know him better than we do."

I could see Edward's face and his eyes were so cruel now, his jaw clenched…his fists balled under his arms that crossed even tighter now. It wouldn't be long before he spoke up. I think it'll take his father's voice to get him talking. So I asked him the next question.

"Dr. Cullen…", I said, "What happened between you?"

He looked at his son's back again and sighed.

Then he said, "Bella…I know you are Edward's friend…and are trying to help him. But I can't speak about that. Perhaps, if we could have some time alone with Edward…we could—"

"Fuck YOU!!", Edward spun towards them suddenly, and it made me jump in surprise, as it did them. His face was full of rage and his eyes hard as stone, his fists clenched at his sides as he mostly shouted at his father, "Anything you need to say to me, you can say in front of Bella!! She's been there for me more than _**you**_ have, and she's known me for ten whole days!! I don't WANT to be in a room alone with EITHER of you! My skin is crawling now that you're HERE! So you can answer her questions…or get out now! This wasn't MY idea."

Edward is getting very good at expressing his anger. I wish I could see him do that to Victoria.

"Edward…please…", I stood up and took his hands in mine, whispering, "Please, here…sit in my chair, alright? I'll sit on the sofa."

I sat him in my chair and he looked relieved not to be very close to them as I sat next to his mother.

Looking at the floor again, Edward clenched his jaw and fists, looking like an angry statue.

"We will answer your questions.", Esme said, to me and shot her husband a stern look, "Answer her, Carlisle."

"It will be very difficult…for either of you to hear…or believe, I'm afraid.", Carlisle began, "But I will be as honest as I can."

"Edward…told us that he met a wonderful girl in college.", Carlisle said, "And he wanted us to meet her. We were glad. Edward never much dated in high school and always kind of kept to himself. We did…want to meet her and we invited them to dinner one weekend."

Carlisle hesitated and Edward's eyes kept their wicked stare on my carpet, looking as still as a crocodile waiting to snap at any second.

"Just say it, Carlisle.", Esme looked at her husband, "There's no easy way to do it. You promised."

"Esme, please.", Carlisle looked at her, "I am trying."

"Edward…", Carlisle looked at his frozen son, hoping to reach him vocally, "We had every intention of welcoming Tanya into our family. We truly did. But something happened. Something I never thought would happen."

He paused again and suddenly looked nervous and afraid, too. I braced myself for whatever he was going to say. Edward didn't move…he looked chiseled out of porcelain.

"When Tanya came into the house…", Carlisle took another breath, "When I…(he swallowed hard)…inhaled her scent…I nearly lost my sanity."

Huh? This has something to do with Tanya's perfume?

Even Edward's eyes raised up to his father and they looked as confused and lost as mine.

"I'm lost.", I said it, knowing Edward wouldn't.

"I'm…not well.", Carlisle said, "I have had mental problems for years and years…and voices in my mind…were telling me to hurt Tanya that night."

"Carlisle!", Esme gritted her teeth and her regal composure began to crack.

"Stop lying to him, Carlisle!", Esme demanded, "Tell him the truth…or I will. Look at all the ruined lives our silence has brought!"

Carlisle looked up and made eye contact for the first time with his estranged son and decided to come clean, at last.

"Alright.", Carlisle said right to Edward, "The truth…finally. Edward…your mother and I…we are vampires."

They didn't say anything for a few moments and I frowned at them, not liking their jokes while their son wanted real answers. I looked at Edward and he just stared his father down, an unholy glare that raged between them.

"You should've stuck with your mental problem story, it was more believable.", Edward said without emotion.

"I told you he wouldn't believe us.", Carlisle sighed at his wife.

"That's why you have to explain it, CARLISLE.", she was getting angry now and gave her husband a hard shove.

"When I was born, my mother died in childbirth. My father was on a trip when that happened and for most of my childhood, I was left with nannies and butlers, and he was always gone, on business, I was always told. I never knew much about the man…except that he was rich and hardworking…and never there."

"Hey, it sounds just like my childhood.", Edward faked a childlike voice, filled with surprise, but his face was still scary and glaring at his father.

"I know that, Edward.", he admitted, "I never wanted to be that kind of father and I always told myself that when I had children, I would be there and raise them and play with them…and know everything about them."

Edward scoffed and gave a wicked laugh that gave me chills. Remind me never to get Edward pissed off.

Esme looked even sadder than before as she stared at her son but she nudged Carlisle to keep talking.

"When I met your mother, I was done with college and Medical school. I was already a doctor. We fell in love and got married within a year after meeting…and we wanted to have a big family. We got right to work and had you, Edward. And we were so happy with you."

"You were the most beautiful baby I had ever seen.", Esme cut in, needing to say this, "And so happy…you smiled two days after you were born…even though they say babies can't do that…you did…you smiled at me…that cute, almost crooked smile…and since that moment, I knew I'd die for you."

_I know what you mean, _I heard myself think to her_, he did it to me, too._

"Mother, spare me _please_.", Edward's voice was so ice cold and his expression matched his voice.

Esme looked down and stopped talking but Carlisle spoke up now.

"Edward, don't speak to your mother that way.", Carlisle frowned a little, defending his wife.

"Why not?", he snapped at his father, leaning forward a little and tilting his head to the side, "Because she's been so good to me? Because she's my…(he gave a little laugh, looking her up and down)…Mommy? The last thing she did for me was to PUSH, so don't tell me how to talk to HER. She's not my mother! Katherine is my REAL mother. She played games with me, SHE cooked for me and fed me, and SHE…loved me. If I would've ever been allowed to speak with HER after I was _**disowned**_, I would speak with love and respect to HER. But you even took _her_ away from me."

"Just explain, Carlisle.", Esme clenched her fists a little now, reminding me of Edward as Carlisle put aside his frustration and spoke again, getting back to his story.

"After you were born, my father sent me a letter and invited all of us to his estate so he could meet his grandson. I thought it was a little odd, but we planned to go. At the last minute, you came down with a little cold and we nearly cancelled the whole trip. But then, your mother thought it was important that we try to make peace with him, try to let him come into our lives. Esme's parents died when she was younger so you didn't have much family. She wanted you to have a grandpa…and she wanted me to have my father, even if it was a little late."

"Katherine and Joseph stayed with you, Edward…", Carlisle said, "And your mother and I went to visit my father."

Esme held Carlisle's hand, giving him support as I looked over at Edward. He didn't look very impressed by this story yet…and neither was I, really. But I waited.

"When we got there," Carlisle said, "It was explained to me by my father, that the Cullen family has a very long history…of vampirism. To keep our bloodline going, it is their tradition that when they have a child they raise it as a human and when that child grows and has a mortal child of their own…it is time for them to take their place in the vampire world. I was now a parent of a son…and my father told me…it was time to take my place. And…he attacked me. He…bit me…several times."

Edward sighed, rolling his eyes and muttered to me, "Bella, you must have a speed dial to the nearest psych ward, don't you, being a future psychiatrist?"

"You wanted answers, Edward.", Carlisle frowned and became very stern now, "These are the answers. Throw us out if you like afterwards, but listen until I'm done."

Edward crossed his arms and regarded his father without a shred of belief, but he listened.

"My father would've spared your mother the burden of being a vampire. He intended to leave her human and to send her back to raise you to manhood. But, later, when he told her about what he'd done to me, your mother fought back and demanded to know where I was."

"I was on the other side of the mansion, starting my transformation. It takes about three days to become a full vampire. It was incredibly painful and I was bound down and screaming…my father tried to lock Esme up in her room for the three days until my change was over. But he underestimated her resolve. She broke out in the middle of the night and found me. Unfortunately, for her…I had just become a newborn vampire…and my father was nowhere to be found."

"Maybe he hoped I would feed on her and he wouldn't have to worry about her fighting back anymore. Maybe he thought if I killed her myself, I would have nothing else to live for and wouldn't fight taking my place in his world. I don't know. But when Esme freed me, she had no idea what a mindless, thirsty creature I was at the time. I bit her…I drank her…and I nearly killed her. Well, actually, I did…kill her."

"This is worse than that Lestat movie.", Edward looked at me, commenting.

Carlisle's eyes flashed angrily at his son's now, not getting any sympathy from Edward as he spoke of his wife's near death experience. I kept thinking they were going to say, 'You've been punked!' at any moment now and Ashton Kutcher would come flying in, laughing and pointing at us all.

"My father showed up at that moment and began congratulating me for joining the vampire race.", Carlisle looked disgusted, remembering, "And I begged him to save Esme. I realized, too late, what I had done. And I swore to him that I would do what he asked, taking my place in his sick little world, if he'd save her. He told me she would live…but as a vampire. It was too late to save her mortal life. She'd lost too much blood. So we sat and watched your mother change for the next three days."

"Our lives were over.", Carlisle said, sounding very sad now, "We weren't worried about ourselves…we were thinking about you, Edward. My father told us we couldn't go near you again, not for a few years, until we learned how to control our thirst. It killed us…but we didn't want to endanger you. We lived in my father's house, learning his ways. Learning our new roles in this life he forced upon us. You see, the Cullens have always been judges for our kind throughout the centuries. It is our duty, delivering justice to…vampires that break our laws…disobey our rules. My father taught me everything he knew…and intended for me to take his place one day."

"I didn't want that.", Carlisle went on, "I wanted to keep being a doctor. I worked in secret to try and overcome my thirst…to resist human blood. Esme and I hated killing…I was born to be a healer, not a murderer. We began to survive by drinking the blood of animals. We always called you and made sure you were being cared for…we told only Joseph and Katherine what had happened to us. We trusted them only. They vowed to love you as we would…and they did, as you pointed out a minute ago."

"All the time, we missed you so much…we tried to come home…to see if our thirst was under control. You had gotten so big…you were walking all by yourself and talking…we missed all that and it killed us, especially your mother. That first time back home, you were a toddler, and you didn't even know us, really. But your mother tried to give you a hug…she wasn't ready to be near you yet. She pushed you away a little too hard and you cried…you were scared, not hurt. And that was probably your first memory of your mother. We had to get out of there, fast. We were both very tempted by not only your blood, but of Joseph's and Katherine's blood, too. We needed more time…we had to leave you again for awhile longer."

"Many times, we tried to come back and see if we could stand being close to you.", he said, careful not to make it sound like an insult, "Close to any humans, I mean. We sent you gifts on your birthday and once we sat outside the window, watching you on your 5th birthday…but we still weren't ready to come in and be near all the other children and you…and again…we were destroyed that we couldn't be part of your life, Edward. If nothing else, I hope someday you can believe _that_. We weren't having fun, going on trips all over the world without you. We suffered every day without you. We loved you…we still do."

Esme never cried but looked like she wanted to. Edward didn't move an inch.

"We did come around more after you turned eight.", Esme offered, "At that point, we could be in the room with you and we were in control. But…you were so affectionate…even though you didn't really know us…you wanted to. You were always after me, wanting hugs and kisses…wanting me to play with you…and I know I pushed you away a lot…almost always. And your sad little face would break my heart. (she was making sobbing sounds but no tears came). I wanted you, Edward…I did! But I always wanted to…I loved you too much…and that made me love the scent of you and your blood too much as well. It was so hard for me…I tried to resist it…but it's so strong."

Edward's face wasn't so cruel now…it softened a little…but he still avoided eye contact with her…I thought maybe he was feeling something, hearing his mother's emotional words, but he didn't show it clearly.

"I tried to spend some quality time with you, then, too.", Carlisle looked down, ashamed, "But you only seemed to want your mother. I know you were angry with me, thinking I was stealing your mother away from you. And I didn't blame you. I tried to talk to you a couple of times…but there was no way to explain this to you then. You were a little boy. We thought we could keep it all a secret from you. At first, we didn't want to scare you away from us. We wanted to try to build a relationship with you. Then, later…we were…afraid you would reject us or be disgusted by us."

"As if I ever had a chance to reject YOU.", Edward said with a dark voice, "You were both so busy rejecting _me_. Maybe, just maybe, at that point in my life…I would've accepted you…even as…vampires…as long as it meant you WANTED me. But you never seemed to want me. Ever. God, how I waited and wished to see some shred of WANT in your eyes when you came home! But it was _never_ there. And it's not there even now."

Edward leapt up from the chair and glanced at me, walking into the kitchen and taking a bottle of water out of the fridge, needing a little break from this and them.

I couldn't tell if he was upset or crying, he just seemed very angry to me and that was perfectly normal. He was doing well now, voicing his pain.

I still don't believe this whole vampire nonsense. This has to be some kind of joke or something. Did Edward believe them? Should I call some men in white coats?

My psychiatry training told me…humor them. Let them tell their story, no matter how insane…and see where it goes.

Esme looked at me and suddenly I felt a little scared. I peeked at her from behind my hair and shuddered a bit.

"We're alright now.", Esme assured me, "We have our thirst under control. We wouldn't hurt you, either of you."

At this, Edward rushed into the living room and yanked me off the sofa away from his mother, pushing me behind him as he frowned down at them. Esme looked very hurt at this action of her son's.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Edward didn't turn to look at me as he watched them, "I didn't mean to leave you alone with the monsters, here."

"You don't have to insult us, Edward.", Carlisle kept his seat and temper, "We know you're angry with us, but—"

"Angry doesn't even cover it, DRACULA!", Edward shouted, "I'd have to forgive a thousand things you've done to GET to be just ANGRY!"

"Do you at least believe us, Edward?", Carlisle asked, curiously.

"That you're vampires?", he squinted, "No. I also don't believe in Santa, the tooth fairy, or Rudolph the red nosed reindeer! I think you two are on something very heavy and I want you out of here before I call a cop. When you're ready to talk seriously, write me a letter."

"Edward," I said, "You should at least hear what they have to say."

"They're mocking me, Bella!", he shouted in my direction, turning to me, "Worse, they're mocking Tanya and Katie!"

"I'll do it, Carlisle.", Esme pushed him down with her dainty fingers and stood up, going over to the window, pulling up the blinds, letting the sun glare inside.

Both Edward and I stopped in mid sentence and stared at her, mouths open. She was glowing…no…sparkling…and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, besides Edward.

"Look at my face, Edward.", Esme said, "Look at your father's face…closely. We don't have any wrinkles…no gray hair…not one single thing that makes us look a day older than we were in our twenties. This is what happens to our skin when the sun touches us…"

She looked around outside the window and with one finger gracefully moved it up, opening it.

"No one's looking.", Esme smirked to her husband and went out onto the fire escape…then jumped off it.

"MOM!!", Edward's eyes bugged out and he lunged towards the window, stumbling out onto the fire escape as I grabbed him, afraid he'd go after her off the edge.

"Oh my GOD!", I screamed, thinking she'd killed herself…and I tried to look and see if her body was laying down on the street…but it wasn't. She was standing down there, shielding her eyes, smiling up at us, not a scratch on her.

"I didn't even break my heels.", she said proudly, then bent her knees and sprang up, standing like a graceful bird on the iron ledge of the fire escape balcony, smiling down at her son's flabbergasted face.

"You called me Mom.", she said, looking as if she had received the greatest gift in the world.

I yanked Edward back in the window, stunned, but able to say one thing.

"I believe them, Edward…", I breathed.

"So do I, Bella.", he whispered back, almost landing on his ass on the floor as his mother entered the room again, smiling to herself.

"Stay back!", he pointed at Esme, standing in front of me, protecting me, "Sit over there! Don't come close!"

Esme put her hands up, allowing us our fear and didn't take any offense.

"Alright, alright…", she agreed, "I'm sitting over here. We won't hurt you. We came to explain things…there's a lot more to say."

"Get a crucifix.", Edward shoved me towards the bathroom behind him.

"Where the hell am I going to get a crucifix out of the bathroom?!", I squeaked, "What do you want me to do, tie our toothbrushes in a cross with some dental floss?!"

"I don't know…get it from anywhere!", he said, clearly still very shaken by seeing his mother plunge to her death…then coming back up again.

"I don't have any crucifixes!!", I held his arm for a moment, trying to make myself brave again as his parents smiled at us, "I'm trying to discover God in my own way."

"Jesus!", he growled.

"Yea, him, too.", I added as Edward turned to me with a lethal look in his eyes.

Edward looked at his parents and took a breath, saying, "Wait."

He went to the kitchen and dug around in my drawers there. In a minute, he came back with two wooden spoons rubber banded together in a cross, holding it in front of him as his parents broke out in a laugh.

"He always was cute.", Esme said, remembering him as a boy.

"And very creative, too.", Carlisle grinned.

"I don't think they're afraid of you, Edward.", I informed.

"We won't hurt you.", Esme said again, "Really. Please, Edward…don't be afraid of us. We have waited a long time to have a chance to tell you everything."

"Let's sit down, Edward…and hear what they have to say…okay?", I asked him, feeling his hand curl around mine.

"Fine.", he didn't take his eyes off them, as if waiting for them to attack at any moment.

He moved to the chair, pulling me behind him and before I knew it, we were both sitting in the big chair, squished together, not wanting to be apart now…and neither of us wanting to sit on the sofa next to Esme.

Again, his parents giggled at us as Edward placed his spoon crucifix on the coffee table close by, in case he needed it again.

I had to get back into my Dr. Bella mode and help Edward get the information he had needed for so long. I just never dreamed in a million years this would all be because Edward's parents were…vampires!

God, my grade is going to be in the toilet now. James would never buy it.

"Alright.", I said as Edward stared at his parents with huge eyeballs, "So…let's say we believe you…that you are…vampires. That might explain your absence while Edward was growing up…but then when he was in college…when he was nineteen, and wanted to introduce you to Tanya…what happened then? You said you got your thirst under control…were you a doctor then?"

Carlisle smiled at me and said, "Yes, I was surprised to find that I could be a doctor. At first, I was a doctor of science and worked in labs by myself…working in my spare time on a serum I could drink that would make it…easier for me to resist a mortal's blood. I was able to operate on people and be a surgeon by the time Edward was in college."

"I thought I was strong.", Carlisle frowned at his fingers, "I was cocky and thought I could throw parties full of mortals and not be bothered by it. And then…we invited you and Tanya to dinner that night."

"As I said before…", Carlisle looked ashamed as he talked, "When Tanya came in, her scent was…too powerful…for me. I fell in love with it…vampires call it…her blood…sang to me."

"Are you saying you had the hots for my girlfriend?", Edward frowned, repulsed.

"Not exactly.", Carlisle looked at Esme, almost for help, "It's a very rare thing, this blood singing to a vampire. Sometimes it never happens. I thought it was a myth. But I found out…it isn't. I wanted to kill her, Edward. I wanted to drink her blood…so badly…I almost couldn't resist it. And for a split second, I didn't care about you…your mother…or Tanya…or anyone…I just had to have it. That's how powerful it was."

Edward seemed to be thinking as he listened to his father in silence. I myself remember Edward telling me his father looked sick when he met Tanya and had to leave the room for a long time.

"I tried to come back in the dining room, for you, Edward.", Carlisle said, "I could see how much you loved her…and I didn't want to hurt you…and I could see I already was. I didn't want to lose you, just as we were beginning to start to have some kind of father/son bond. I tried to sit there and pretend to eat…but I couldn't do it. I kept dreaming of lunging across the table and having her, even if it meant I had to hurt you to get to her. So I ran out of the room and hid in my study like a coward."

"I wasn't in my right mind when I called you in that night, Edward.", he stated, "I was losing my sanity fast…and the only way I could think to make you get out and take her with you – to save her life – was to say those things I said. At first, I hoped she wasn't a serious girlfriend and when you said you wanted to marry her…I panicked."

"I knew if you married her, I could never see you again. We would lose you all over again. Eventually, the temptation would get too great…and I would eventually kill her – and maybe even, you too, if you had gotten in the way. So I threatened you…I made you choose. And Edward, I know you won't believe this…but I was so proud of you that night. You stood up to me like a man and you chose the woman you loved. And you walked out of the only life you'd ever known. That takes guts, Edward. And I knew…it wasn't because of me you had that courage…Joseph raised you, with Katherine…but still…I was never more proud of you."

Edward's eyes were a strange mixture now of sadness…and anger…

"And to protect my girlfriend you also withdrew my college payments, put me on the streets with no where to live, and crushed my dreams of becoming a doctor.", Edward added, "Boy, Dad, you are one swell guy."

"Edward.", Carlisle clenched his fists, "Your grandfather…has the gift of mind-reading…knowing things…it skipped over me…and may be inside you…but, a week before you brought Tanya over, he called me. He said he's glad you found someone. He's the one who really told me first you had a girlfriend. He said he was anxious to meet you. And he wanted to start grooming you…teaching you…your job. So that after you had your first child, you could become vampire and take over your duties right away. With me, it was years before I could really judge other vampires. He didn't want to make that mistake twice. He told me to bring you to him. He told me you were going to be very special to our kind."

"Very special?", I asked, feeling violently ill suddenly, then I looked at Edward and whispered, "That's what Victoria called you…you said."

"I know.", he gritted through his teeth, making a weird face at me.

Esme and Carlisle exchanged looks but didn't say anything yet about what we said to each other.

"Anyway…", Carlisle continued, "When you said you wanted to marry Tanya, and in addition to the whole blood singing thing, I decided that I had to do whatever I could to hide you from him. I never intended on making you a vampire. I wanted you to have a happy, normal life."

"I told my father I didn't want to turn you at all. And that you wanted to be a doctor, like me. He said they'd come get you and do it to you themselves if they had to. So I had to cut all ties with you. Even financially, if I wrote you a check or even mailed a money order to you, my father would read that in my mind…and find you."

"I told my father that you ran away and that I had no idea where you went. And since I truly didn't know, he could read my mind and know I was telling the truth. They searched for you all the time but I watched them. Whenever they got too close to the area I suspected you were in, I diverted them. I learned to train my mind to believe things like…you mailed me a letter from Tennesee, or you called me from Mexico. It worked for a couple years…but then, my luck ran out."

"I told your father they'd never stop looking for you.", Esme piped in, looking aggravated, "You were the only link to making sure their vampire bloodline lived on. They weren't about to give you up. And also, Carlisle's father saw you were destined for greatness. He said you would be vampire royalty, more powerful than Aro!"

"What's an Aro?", Edward squinted, unimpressed.

Carlisle smiled at his son's ignorance of the vampire world, happy that he was all human, and informed, "He's just a very important person in our world, that's all."

"So, once again, you explain away all the things you did to me.", Edward still sounded very bitter, "I guess that makes it alright that I had to eat from garbage cans and sleep in the fucking cemetery!"

Edward gave a little laugh, "Too bad the vampires didn't just look for me there with all the other stiffs, they could've had me easy!"

"Well, it was smart that you stayed in New York and didn't have any real address.", Carlisle said, "They didn't believe we were dumb enough to hide you right under their noses."

"You didn't HIDE me anywhere!", Edward shouted, "You just threw me out like garbage and never cared where I was or what I was doing!"

"We DID care!", Carlisle raised his voice, "We were trying to save your life. We knew it would be hard…and that you'd hate us…but we did it for you, hoping that someday, we could…"

"What?", Edward sneered, "Come back into my life and send me to college later, after the threat of Vampire Grandpa went away?"

"We found out about you getting married.", Esme decided to change the subject…but I winced, knowing Edward wouldn't smile and say anything nice to her in response to that remark.

Edward's eyes burned crueler now at her and he frowned as he said, "Yea, it was nice of you to come. We got married in the police station with two fucking witnesses as our guests. No one from _my side of the family_!"

"Well, unfortunately, that's when my father found out, too, by reading Esme's thoughts when she read about it in the paper. That's when a full-out battle began between my father and I. He had tons of vampire allies on his side…I had a few very good friends on my side."

"For months, he tried to win me over to join him in training you, getting you back.", Carlisle informed, "But I never considered it. My father didn't want a war with me, but he said he'd do it if I didn't give you over soon. We fought for months about it, always verbally, we hadn't fought physically…until my father found out where you were…and that you were to have a child soon. Then the gloves were off."

"I even contacted Tanya's parents and, without telling them anything about us, I suggested he have you all move out to Florida near him. But he said things with his factory weren't going very well, and he didn't know if he could offer you much financial help…and that Tanya was determined to make something of herself in New York. So that plan didn't go very well."

Edward scowled, "Don't even TRY to put down Tanya's parents. They didn't have much but they always helped us when they could and were always there on Thanksgivings and Christmases, they were at the hospital when Tanya gave birth to Katie, and they were her grandparents when you…were once again…not there. Maybe they couldn't give us money…not that you ever did…but they gave us something more than money…they gave us family. And even with all your Halloween stories, it doesn't explain why you never gave a damn about me! It doesn't explain why you never loved me!"

"Edward…", Carlisle's face was sullen, "Where is Katie now? Are you giving her all your time and attention?"

"Don't you even SAY her NAME, you FUCK!", Edward stood up, in a rage now.

"Hey!", I shouted at Carlisle, standing in front of and defending Edward, "Don't you EVEN go there! It's because of you two slamming the door in his face that he had to have Ben and Angela take Katie in! If you would've helped him when he needed you…"

"Do you know how hard we fought to keep my father's hands off Edward once Kaitlyn was born?", Carlisle looked full of fire now, "Battles went on in the dead of night in the middle of New York that you don't know anything about to protect Edward and his family. A couple of my friends died in those battles…some were tortured and jailed…and still are! Don't say that I wasn't there when you needed me, Edward. I was…you just never knew it."

Edward just stared at them without words, his eyes still ablaze with hardness.

"When I heard about the fire…", Carlisle began as Edward clutched at his hair, turning away from Carlisle as he spoke while I just glared at him, "I couldn't find my men anywhere."

"What men?", I asked.

"The ones that stood guard on your apartment building that night.", Carlisle looked up and saw Edward's head spin towards him, his eyes wide.

"There were guards there that night?", he breathed.

"Every night, Edward.", Carlisle gave a nod, "I never left you unprotected."

"I still don't know if they turned on me…", Carlisle said, "Or if they were taken against their will…or killed…but…my guards vanished into thin air, five good and strong vampires. I don't know if that fire was an accident…or not. So I don't want to make up stories…but…"

Edward looked lost in his thoughts, his eyes blank as he grabbed his hair again.

"So…wait…", I said, putting my arm around Edward to keep him calm, "What happened the night he came to your house then, with Katie?"

Carlisle let out a hard breath and Esme put a hand over her mouth, looking very upset.

"Edward…", Carlisle gave a stern look into his son's face, "Tanya was my singer…and her daughter's scent had five times the power that her mother's did. I could smell her coming from a mile away and I was salivating!! Joseph and Katherine had that night off and I was so thirsty for Kaitlyn's blood it was crippling me! I had to make Esme go to the door and tell you to go away. She hated me for making her do that, but she was doing it to save her granddaughter…and you, Edward. I had to lock myself in our panic room so I wouldn't break out there and take her from you. That's when I told you to get away over the intercom. That was absolutely…the worst night of my life…hearing you screaming…begging me for help…I heard you and Kaitlyn crying…and I wanted to die right there on the spot. And Esme did, too…we almost broke up over that. I called in my best men to make sure you were safe when you left that night…and the next morning they said the little girl was taken on a plane to Florida. And I thought you went with her. I thought you were safely with Ben and Angela."

"But if Vampire Grandpa could read minds…surely he'd come find me over there.", Edward squinted, still angry and cold.

"No.", Carlisle looked down at his hands and added, "I killed Vampire Grandpa that night. I didn't have proof of it, but in my mind, he killed Tanya…he almost killed Kaitlyn…he was trying to take everything away from you so you'd be weak and easily taken. But I stopped him. We killed some of his men in the process…and as a judge, I executed a good number of them. I even have some in prison for life. Which brings me to now."

Then Carlisle looked up and stared at Edward, not saying anything. Esme looked at Edward, again, as if she'd cry any second…but didn't.

"What?", Edward snapped at them.

"Edward…please sit down.", Carlisle suggested with a caring voice, his eyes tender, "Please talk to me. I know you have no reason to trust me…but you can."

I did agree Edward should sit down before he fell down…this was all so much to take…and I couldn't believe it, but Carlisle had managed to explain everything.

I hugged Edward and slowly helped him back into the chair alone this time, as I stood beside it and stroked the back of his hair.

"You should be fairly safe now.", Carlisle informed, "So…how are you doing, Edward?"

"Fine.", he lied, "Katie is safe and I'm fine."

"Edward!", I hit him in the back of his head and he growled at me, repeating, "I. Am. Fine."

"You are NOT fine!", I argued with him, "After all the things your father has told you…you're going to lie to him now?"

"You truly believed all that CRAP?!", Edward seethed at his parents.

"It's not CRAP, Edward, it's the TRUTH!", Carlisle shouted, standing up.

"I don't give a FUCK!", Edward shouted, tears in his eyes, "I don't want you, I don't NEED you, and nothing has changed!! You turned your backs on me my whole life and I HATE YOU BOTH!! Maybe your fucking GUARDS are the ones that killed my family!! It's all because of you!! I want you out now!!"

"Edward, wait!", I stood behind him, touching his back lightly as he started to throw them out.

They didn't know what Edward's life had become…or they were asking. Victoria had to know, too, what Edward was…she called him very special, like Carlisle's father did. She didn't just choose Edward for his looks, she wanted the special, future vampire prince he would become someday…and also, she owned him through that weird blood ritual Edward had told me about. What did that ritual mean? And how could we free him now?

This is what I hoped Carlisle would be able to tell us….but now that he was asking Edward about his life today…Edward was afraid. Afraid to reveal what he had become in these last years…afraid to be rejected by his parents once more…so instead, he was rejecting them first for a change.

"GET OUT!!", Edward pointed to the door and Carlisle was shouting and so was Esme….this was utter madness! I just want to know how to save the man I love, DAMMIT!!

"He's a SLAVE!!", I shouted out at the top of my voice and everyone shut up instantly.

Edward looked at me like I just pissed on his shoes. Carlisle and Esme stared at me and then Edward, shocked and unable to speak.

"I'm not saying anything else.", I let my head fall in my hands and clawed at my hair.

Edward would hate me now…that was his to tell…but he wasn't going to tell it…he was going to tell them he was fine and have them leave thinking everything was just dandy…and I'm sorry, but I couldn't let that happen. Maybe these two could give me some help or information that would save Edward.

They certainly do seem to care…oh God, kill me now, please!!

No one said anything for a long time and I looked up to make sure they were all still breathing and here. Yes…all here…all looking pissed off and upset. Good.

"Bella is a little crazy sometimes.", Edward informed, "I'm a slave at work, she meant, sometimes I work twelve hour days to make sure Kaitlyn gets all she needs."

"EDWARD, you're pissing me OFF!", I spun to him, shouting, "Tell them the truth, DAMMIT, or I WILL!!"

His jaw clenched and he sneered, "FINE! Strip me down, I'm used to it, right?!"

"No, Edward!", I cried as he tore his shirt open, the buttons flying as he yanked his arms out and tossed it across the room, extending his arms out as the lashmarks stared back redly at his parent's faces. He turned around, slowly, in a little circle, showing his back to them next and Esme covered her mouth with both hands. Carlisle stared at him with pure regret in his eyes.

"This is the nice, happy normal life you wanted for me.", Edward faced his parents with wet eyes, "And this is only my chest, you should see the rest of my body."

"Edward, please stop!", I cried and tried to put my arms around him but he tensed when I hugged him…and my heart broke and I let him go, taking a couple steps back, tears falling down my cheeks.

"Edward, who did this?", Carlisle asked with a weak voice.

"That's my business.", he hissed with a cruel tone of voice again, "Don't tell me you haven't been keeping track of me lately. Because you care so much…right?"

"I was told you were living in Florida with Katie, Ben and Angela.", Carlisle repeated.

"Well you were told WRONG!", Edward roared, his eyes murderous now, "You'd better get some new people, DADDY, cause you've been kept in the fucking dark!! I'm a whore, Mom…Dad…I'm a _pain_ whore. Which means I bleed and fuck for money. And if you come by the club on Friday nights, you can _see_ me as a vampire, how ironic is THAT?! And I will do fucking anything for any money."

"Edward, that's not the whole truth…please tell them…", I begged.

"Oh, that's right.", Edward snapped his fingers, "I belong to Bella this week…well, for the next four days. She paid twenty grand to fuck me for two weeks. Is that the whole truth, Bella?"

He winked at me and I almost sobbed out loud right there.

"You're not going to push me away, Edward…and it won't work on your parents, either.", I stated, trying to keep control of myself, "So stop it now."

"Oh, come on, Bella.", Edward smiled, "I'm sure my Mommy wants to hear all about what I can do to earn a buck. After all, it's their negligence that led me to my current career."

"Oh my God.", Esme closed her eyes and trembled.

"Yes, Oh my God.", Edward nodded, "He has fucked me over and over again and he never pays. He's the biggest rapist of them all."

"Edward, your parents came here to be honest with you…", I began but he cut me off.

"I'm being _totally_ honest!", Edward looked at me like I was crazy, "Ask Victoria! She's my owner. She bought me for 50 grand one night I was about to get my mouth raped by guns. See, my daughter needed this teensy operation to restore her lungs and internal organs so she could breathe and I didn't have the money or insurance…so I went to the dregs of the underworld for the money…and I got it! Katie got her first operation…and then I had no way to pay the dregs back. So one night I came about an inch away from being beaten to death before I was saved by a male stripper and fellow whore."

"Victoria, the woman who owns the club, came out, stripped all my clothes off, looked me over, and decided I was a hot piece of ass…and bought me from the dregs. So, lucky me…no death…but instead, lots of pain, rape, and humiliation. Since then, my life has been one big party after the next. I even have a recurring role in 'Men in Pain'. They love my acting skills. When I get raped, they say the look of agony in my eyes looks SO real! The directors _love_ that."

I wiped the tears from my face and waited for him to pause and then I said, "Your parents are still here, Edward. I don't see them leaving."

"Edward…", Esme opened her arms as if wanting to hold Edward and she moved towards him a step but he recoiled backwards, screaming out with a frown as she froze in place, not coming any closer.

"It's okay…I understand.", Esme looked down, lowering her arms, "It's because I'm a…vampire…"

"No.", he frowned in distaste at her, "It has nothing to do with you being a vampire."

He moved around his parents and went into the bedroom and came out with his duffle bag, picking up his torn shirt off the floor.

My chest clutched tightly as I saw him go into the bathroom and take his toothbrush and razor, tossing it into his bag. Tears filled my eyes instantly again at this and I managed to croak out, "Where are you going?"

"Home.", he shot out roughly, not looking at me, "No one there makes me feel this violated – and that's saying something."

"EDWARD, NO!", I screamed as he opened the door and paused for a second in the doorway, looking at the floor at something…he hesitated for a second.

"Edward, please don't leave.", I cried, "Don't go back to her. I'm sorry I said that, I just wanted to help you. Please stay and talk this out. Let us help you."

He looked at me and I saw his eyes…so green and filled with pain…tears sparkling inside them.

"Just let me go, Bella.", he said in a low voice, and it cracked as he added, "You can't save me."

And then he looked at his parents with a look of disappointment, adding, "No one can."

He left, slamming the door behind him as I let out my deep, quivering sobs, and screamed, "EDWARD!"

"Bella…", Carlisle held my arms firmly as I felt my legs almost give out.

He was going back to HER…instead of staying here with me for the next four days?? God, why did I yell out that he's a slave?! STUPID!! That obviously humiliated him in front of his parents…but they had to know!!

I could faintly hear Carlisle and Esme's voice around me but my crying was out of control and too loud to make them out very well.

Before I knew it, I was being carried to my bed and gently laid down on my back there.

"Shhhh….shhhh…", Esme's voice was floating above me as she took my hand, "Edward is very stubborn sometimes, Bella. That much about him I know. But he comes around after he's had a little time to kick a little bit."

"No, you don't get it.", I sobbed, trying to calm myself so I could go after him, "He's going back to that…BITCH Victoria! God, why did I humiliate him like that? I just became every other woman he's ever known!"

"No, Bella, you did a wonderful thing here for him today.", Esme said, "You showed love and care in every single thing you did today. He'll see that. He's just mad right now. He takes after his father in this."

Carlisle came back into the room and whispered, "Bella…come here please."

I stopped crying and wiped my eyes, following him down the stairs and to the door that led out into the street. On the steps outside, sat Edward, his head in his hands.

Carlisle gave me a little grin and I rushed out there to him…he was crying quietly to himself as I sat next to him and gently put my arms around him, laying my wet face on his arm as he cried more.

"I can't leave…", he finally breathed, sniffling, "What the hell am I doing, Bella?"

"I'm so sorry, Edward.", I cried, too, "I never meant to make you feel violated. God…I'm sorry…please try to forgive me Edward. I should have never said that…"

He turned towards me and held me tight and I felt a wave of relief and love pour over me.

"I love you, Bella.", he whispered, "I'm not mad at you. You don't violate me…you're the one person who's built me up instead of tearing me down. If it wasn't for you…I'd never have the guts to even face my parents like that. I'm sorry I did that to you up there…I didn't know what I was doing…I just had to get out of there…it wasn't you, Bella."

Carlisle stayed inside but was smiling at us from where he stood, probably hearing every word we were saying.

It was sunny out here so I suspected that's why they weren't coming out to join us.

"What do you think…about what your parents said?", I asked, sounding like Dr. Bella again.

"I don't know…", his voice cracked a bit, "It's so fucking unreal…how could anyone just swallow all that?"

"I know, I know.", I held him closer, looking around us, seeing people walking back and forth past the stairs we were having our little scene on.

"Do you want to come back inside?", I asked carefully, "We don't have to talk about anything for awhile, if you want a break."

After a long pause, Edward said, "I'll come back inside."

I gave him a smile, admiring his courage and he took my hand, kissing it deeply as a single tear fell down his face, making my eyes tear up again.

He smiled back at me and stood up slowly, helping me to my feet and we turned towards the door, opening it and going back inside…following Carlisle up the little staircase.

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LIKE I SAID – DON'T GET MAD YET! READ ON TO NEXT CHAPTER. THIS STORY IS GOING TO REMAIN ALL HUMAN – NOTHING SUPERNATURAL WILL COME INTO THIS STORY. READ ON.

Love

WinndSinger

PS I can't believe everyone was thinking I'd make Tanya and Edward an incest story!! LOL…you guys must really think I'm SICK!!! Cool!! LOL!!


	22. I Don't Want to Play Anymore

Notes: This first part in Bella's point of view is the same from last chapter…but read on…at Edward's POV, the chapter changes.

This story will remain an all human story. Please read on. Thanks!!

A big thank you to lobsters4ever for your help, your support, your amazing ideas to get this story back on a human track, and most of all, for being a true friend. I love you!!

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BPOV

Thursday, Day 11

Edward had been a bundle of nerves all night last night and he was no better off today. All he had been able to eat since I told him about his parents coming was Saltine crackers. He said he always feels nervous around them, even as a child, because it was a rarity that they ever came home.

I knew this was like another test for Edward. Every time they would come home, he would try to be what they wanted this time…hoping they'd accept him and love him…and they always left too soon. I could see he was doing that again…hoping they'd finally want him.

It was nice to see some hope in Edward's eyes…at last.

He had nightmares and he let me hold him, just like that first night I'd given him the nightshirt. We didn't make love or play any games that night. He really didn't look up to it with the mindset he was in. And he was apologizing all over the place but I told him to shut up…I told him I was tired and it was alright. Taking a night off doesn't make us any less lovers and I told him so. He seemed relieved by that and tried to get some sleep as he laid his face on my chest and I played with his hair, gently curling my other arm around him.

I hated hearing his dreams…he didn't tell me a lot about them but I figured some of them out.

"No, please…", he pleaded, panting for air, "Why? DAD!!"

That was the first one. I figured that was the night his parents met Tanya.

I talked him back to sleep and finally he went under again…and then this next nightmare came:

"Why are you doing this?!!", he cried, "What did I EVER do to you?!! Tanya is dead, PLEASE!! DAD!! She's just a baby, for CHRIST'S SAKE!! Killers are fucking following us, PLEASE – MOMMMM!!!!"

I had to shake him a few times to snap him out of that one. When he came to, his hands flung out and almost hit me and he was sweating…shaking…then crying and apologizing to me again.

I hated seeing him cry and I clung to him for dear life, wondering if having his parents over was a good idea at all now. Look what it was doing to him. But then the psychiatrist in me said – NO, Bella. Be tough. Edward has to face his pain and his demons. He's run from them for far too long. He must see this through. Just comfort him and be there for him. That's all you can do.

All in all, I think Edward got about…ten minutes of sleep that night. And now he was staring at the TV, watching cartoons and chomping on Saltines as it neared 1pm, the time they would be arriving.

He didn't say anything to me directly about it, but he went out at dawn and came back with five new outfits, and kept trying them all on, and changing them…and trying them on again.

He wants to make a good impression on them…and that gave me a little hope. He almost wore a tie and although he looked very GQ in it, I thought that was a little too much, so he changed again.

Finally, he stayed with a nice pair of gray slacks and a white button down shirt, long sleeved, the first two buttons opened. It looked dressy but at the same time, casual enough. He shaved very close and smelled awesome when he came out of the bathroom, complaining about his "fucked up" hair. I told him his fucked up hair is beautiful and not to mess with it. He wanted to gel it straight back so it looked "neater". I wouldn't allow that and hid his hair products.

Then I had to assure him six times that I could not see any of his lash marks through the white cotton of his shirt and he finally believed me and relaxed…sort of.

I kept gently assuring him that he didn't have to turn himself into something or someone else to impress them. They owed him the apologies, not the other way around. But I could understand his fears.

When I came out of the bathroom, he was sitting on the sofa, his head back and his eyes closed. He didn't snore like most men…I smiled, glad he was at least getting some rest before his parents arrived.

I left him alone for about twenty minutes when he began to talk in his sleep again. Oh no, not another nightmare! Poor little thing!

I went over to him on the sofa and his head was slowly moving right and left…his eyes moving rapidly under his eyelids…he was panting again.

"Wake up, Edward…", I said loudly, shaking him until he jerked awake, opening his eyes at me, surprised and dazed.

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EPOV

I gasped when I saw Bella and felt my heart beating out of my chest. She smiled and that soothed me…and she said, "You were having another nightmare, sweetie. Are you okay?"

"What?", I breathed, looking around for my parents…finding myself on the green sofa where my father had been sitting a few minutes before, "Where are my parents?"

"They didn't get here yet.", Bella informed patiently. She's going to have me committed before our time is up, I know it. Not that I don't deserve it.

I was laying back, seated on the sofa, and they weren't there. Neither was my spoon-crucifix. Oh shit. Don't tell me…

"Your parents should be here soon, I can't believe you fell asleep.", she smiled at me, adding, "But then, you didn't get any sleep last night, really."

This didn't feel right at all…I felt sick…and that weird dream…maybe it was trying to tell me something…

"Bella?", I stood up and went to her, taking her hands into mine.

"Please don't be afraid, Edward.", she stroked my cheek, frowning and saying, "Your skin is _**sweating**_. Wait. Let me get you a glass of ice water…"

"I changed my mind.", I said directly to her, waiting for her arguments, "I don't want to see them…or even hear what they have to say. There is no excuse….nothing they say is going to make me feel better. I don't want them. I don't need them. They don't love me. How could they, after all they've done to me? Let them stay dead, Bella, please. I don't want to hear whatever they're coming to tell me. The truth is…they weren't there when I really needed them."

At this, the door was rapped lightly from the outside. I tensed and felt tears spring to my eyes as Bella almost turned a bit, towards it. I grabbed her by the hands and just pleaded to her eyes with mine, shaking my head slowly, hoping she would hear me.

I can't go through it all again…seeing them, confronting them. That dream had seemed so real…except the dumb crap about the vampires and all. Where did that come from?

She hesitated and was thinking about it as I took her face in my hands and gently closed my mouth over her bottom lip, my eyes still opened and displaying my decision into hers. I looked down at her face, feeling sad at her helpless expression, and kissed her top lip, without a sound.

She closed her eyes and shivered as I tried to apologize with my eyes now…I really wasn't trying to use my kiss to win her over to my side. The knock tapped on the door again and I released her…looking down a little…letting her decide what to do.

"Hello?", my father's voice called and I felt even more rigid, "Miss Swan?"

Bella glanced at the door and then looked at me…I raised my eyes up to meet them and the second they met, she threw her arms around me, squeezing me tightly to her as my arms responded the same.

We just clung to each other and after a couple more attempts, the knocking stopped…and I heard my mother's voice outside the door.

"Edward…", she almost sobbed the words, "I understand…and I am sorry. I'm so sorry."

I heard Carlisle say, "Come on, Esme.", and their footsteps descended the staircase.

I hated feeling like the bastard in the situation but I felt better already as I heard their car engine start outside and slowly drive away.

Bella sighed and said, "Well, that was brave of you, Edward."

"I know what I'm doing, Bella.", I peeked out the window now, seeing nothing unusual, "Trust me…you have no idea what a fucked up dream I just had about them…I just don't want them trying to justify themselves! They treated me like shit – I don't care what their god damned reasons are. I don't want them trashing Tanya…I don't think I could take it, Bella. I think I'd lose control of myself and hurt them."

"Alright, calm down, Edward.", she held me again, "I'm not going to force you to do anything you aren't ready for. But, Edward…they will call back…and they will come back."

"I know you wanted them to save me, Bella.", I said, seeing the pain in her face, "I'm sorry. But I don't want them to save me. I'd rather go back to Victoria."

"Edward…", she looked at me solemnly, "Either way, you should know the truth."

"Bella," I breathed, "Haven't I sold myself enough in my life? I'm not about to sell myself to THEM. I don't want their fucking money. Selling myself to strangers… hurts less. Please don't ask me to kneel before THEM."

"Alright, alright, Edward.", Bella held me tighter, "I didn't think of it that way. You're right. I won't make you talk to them. Maybe…I could call them later on…and talk to them myself. You don't have to hear what they have to say."

I thought that over for a minute or two…I still didn't want their help, but maybe they did have something to say that might explain things…all I could say was…

"Maybe.", I whispered into her ear.

"I love you, Edward.", she said clearly and without regret.

"I love you, too, Bella.", I responded, like a mirror, adding, "I'm sorry I messed up your plans. I know you were hoping they'd be the loving parents, all ready with some perfect explanation, ready to shower me with their millions….and I could just walk away from my problems…smiling. It's a nice dream…but like I said before…dreams just don't come true."

"Some dreams come true.", she argued gently, looking up at my face and stroking my cheek, "You're here…and you love me."

I had to smile at her…she could always prove me wrong.

"Okay…correction.", I said, "SOME dreams come true."

"That's better.", she pulled my collar down so my lips could caress hers. In the back of my mind, I realized we only had three days left together and I began to hurt inside…everywhere.

Some dreams do come true. I married Tanya. We had a little girl that was the heart of my life. I had found love again after all this time…being what I am…Bella still saw the good in me somehow.

Yes…some dreams come true. But I just can't keep them true. They spring to life and dance in a circle around me…making me smile and laugh…and then they fly away. It maybe would be better if my original statement was true…I wish dreams didn't come true. They hurt too much. My parents loving me was another dream I didn't want to come true…I can't endure anymore. I can't sit in the dark as another true dream flies off into the sunset. Losing Bella will be painful enough all by itself.

In my dream just now with the vampires, I was truly destroyed when she'd told my parents I was a slave. I hated her for a little mili-second there…and I really did want to leave. I nearly did.

Even though my parents are assholes, I don't want them to know what I've become. I'm so ashamed and afraid they might already know. And I don't want to hear their awful reasons for turning their backs on me and my daughter…even Tanya, too.

I don't care what the reasons are. It doesn't change anything. It doesn't change the pain and suffering I always feel in my bones…it doesn't heal Katie's scarred flesh…or her pain-mentally and physically. It doesn't change a thing. So I don't want to hear it.

About an hour later, we were taking a nice walk around town, just being with each other, not talking much. I feared Bella was upset with me for copping out on my meeting with my parents…and I felt like a coward.

But I really thought I was doing the best thing for my own sanity. I know I have to go back to Victoria. I know there's no out for me. I think, in Bella's eyes now, she is knowing that, too. So I didn't talk much…I just held her hand and prayed to the invisible God above…that she would be alright without me…and be happy again soon.

She was having me tell her all about the dream…as corny as it was….how my parents had said they were vampires…wanting me but not able to be close to me for my own good…Tanya being my father's singer…the whole tale about my vampire grandfather who wanted me to become one of them…my parents cutting me off to save my life…my destiny as someone "special" in the vampire world…their difficult but necessary decision to ignore my cries for help when I held Katie in my arms…the vampire guards who may have been involved in Tanya's death in the fire…the battles that went on in my name…the story of my father killing his father to avenge my family's pain…and finally…but most painful of all…their declarations of love for me always…through it all…and their claim that they loved me still…and would help me now.

I trembled as I retold it all, hoping she didn't laugh. If Bella could explain this dream to me, she was better even than I imagined.

We were sitting under a tree on a bench when I finished and she gave my hand a tender squeeze.

"I told you, I'm very good at analyzing dreams, Edward.", she said first, "I have a pretty good idea why you dreamt it all. Is it alright if I give you my take on it?"

"Yes, Bella.", I agreed, wanting her opinion. I thought she'd say I was a loon. But she didn't.

"Alright, let's do one thing at a time.", she had her notebook with her and was writing in it now, "First…your parents saying their vampires. You, Edward, love things of fantasy and magic. You love playing vampire at the club, you love mythical creatures. In your mind, you have turned your parents into those creatures so they'd be a bit more attractive to you. In your mind, in your real memories, you see them in a bad light. In your dream, you've made them something that wasn't their fault…and making them non-killing vampires, that was you wanting to believe the best in them. You made them 'good vampires'. Like your fake vampire eyes at the club…gold for good vampire, red for bad vampire."

She went on as I pondered that.

"This way, all through your childhood, when they weren't around, this dream makes it, again, not their fault, not your fault, either. They were doing it all out of love…and you desperately want their love. You always have."

"Go on.", I had to admit she is brilliant.

She took a breath and wrote some more, then said, "When they met Tanya, and said it was her scent that was the reason they didn't want her around…again…this makes it nothing Tanya did…not her fault. They liked her, really…but because Carlisle is a vampire who wanted her blood…that's the reason it all fell apart. Nothing is anyone's fault here either, not even your father's. Do you see what I mean?"

"Yes I do.", I looked down at my own hands, knowing she was right.

"It speaks a lot about your heart, Edward.", she touched my arm, comforting me, "You want your parents…you want it not to be their fault…or yours, or Tanya's. You want to forgive them somehow. And not blame them for what they've done. Even though there is a lot of anger at them for all they haven't done. You could hate them…but your heart wants to love them. That is beautiful, Edward…really!"

"Finish your analyzing, Bella.", I smiled weakly, wanting to hear it all.

"The vampire Grandfather being after you.", Bella said, "Is the evil of the world coming after you…and in your dream, your parents have always tried to protect you and save you from it…even sacrificing having you in their lives to save you. In reality, you feel they didn't save you…or care enough to save you from all the poverty, the being on the streets, the losing college…eating garbage…even struggling financially when you married Tanya…your dream says your parents wanted to help and save you, but couldn't because it meant risking your life. It even says that's why they weren't there for your big moments…your marriage, the birth of your daughter…it's all explained in the dream as them loving you but not able to be part of you. You want them to save you…deep down…you've wanted that all your life…and they never have."

I nodded, knowing she was right.

She took a moment and said, "The part about you being vampire royalty…a prince if you were to become one of them…special…that is obvious. You _**are**_ special, Edward. But you don't believe you are. You always call yourself a whore, a toy, a slave. You want to be special. You want a fantasy world you can escape to where you could be something special and important…and have your parents be proud of you. More powerful than the highest King of the vampires."

Damn, she is good at this dream shit. I just thought we fell asleep watching Interview with a Vampire or something.

"The battles, the dream of Carlisle killing the evil grandfather chasing you…", Bella said, "That speaks of you wishing your father ever stood up for you…fought for you…defended you. You want that. You want your father to be brave and strong…and a warrior trying to kill the things that are hurting you."

"And…", she spoke sadly now, "The fire…you desperately want to believe that there is someone to blame for that fire…that there is a person you can hunt down and hurt because of what happened to Tanya and Katie. You want revenge and that is completely normal. You don't want to believe that this is a random, chance thing that happened. That it was a wiring problem…and that the explosion just happened when it did. It was a terrible, horrible thing…and you have no reason for why it happened…no answers of why it happened to Tanya and Katie…and you. You even hate God because it happened. You blame him for it. You blame yourself for not being there."

I felt tears in my eyes…wondering why Bella was using all her talents on someone as fucked up as I am.

"God, Edward, it's not your fault.", she whispered, "Please believe that, if nothing else. You were a little boy…a beautiful little boy. Whatever the reason your parents weren't there, it's not your fault. The fault is theirs. None of this is your fault, Edward. You have to stop punishing yourself. Tanya and Katie wouldn't want that. They love you."

"And last but not least…", Bella said, "You love your parents, too. Even after all the times they've neglected you…and hurt you…you love them."

"No, Bella.", I groaned, as if it hurt me physically to hear what she was saying.

She put her arms around me, kissing my cheek as I closed my eyes, feeling the wetness on my cheeks.

"It's okay, Edward.", she said, loving me more than I deserved, "It's good that you love them…even if they don't deserve that love. Don't hate. It will only hurt you inside…not them. Let it go."

I clung onto her for a long time, letting her diagnosis sink in. Maybe she was right. I didn't know how to stop hating them, I wished I could just simply let it go. No, I couldn't stop hating them. They turned Katie away.

"Forgive them, in your heart.", she stroked my hair, "You don't even have to see them or talk to them…just…go to your heart and tell them you forgive them. It will take tons off your shoulders, Edward…really. You'll see…when you're ready to do that."

Bella is right…and my parents might come back. If they do, I will face them myself…I don't know if I'll forgive them…but I will remember the dream and the meanings behind all those weird things I conjured up, and I will try to face them like a man.

"The part about me…", Bella said after I quieted a bit, "You fear me turning on you…revealing you as a slave. You're afraid that's how I truly see you but I'm not saying it to you. You fear me betraying you…and you didn't like the feeling of hating me for that minute of time. You want to believe you could easily pack your things and run out. But then you were on the stairs, unable to leave. You don't want to leave me."

"You're right…every word…is right.", I admitted with a soft voice, stroking her fingers as they held my other hand, "I do trust you, Bella. But that scares me. Everyone I trust lets me down. And I keep asking myself, why you'd want me. Everyone in my world has an ulterior motive. I keep wondering if you have one, too. But then I look in your eyes…and I see you…I see that you're real. And that you're not lying to me."

"See that I love you, too.", she jerked my chin towards her, making me look into her face.

I smiled and responded, "I do see that. And I hope you see that in my eyes, too, Bella. I do love you…so very much."

We cried together and held each other…and the people walking by didn't even seem to notice us. We were invisible…and it was amazing.

"What are we going to do?", Bella cried, almost to herself. I didn't have an answer…and it broke my heart.

After a long time, I made her walk with me again…and I tried to make her smile again. I made myself turn playful again, and eventually, it seemed to work.

Later, we ate giant subs, sitting outside in the balmy weather, not needing to fill every minute with empty talk. We were like an old married couple sometimes, just needing each other's company to be happy.

"You know what's really strange?", I asked Bella as we walked on the sidewalks, "I can't think of any games to play with you now. I just want to make love to you again. In bed…the boring, old fashioned way."

I laughed and so did she.

"It was…the best night of my life.", Bella glanced back at me with a sexy smile, "I never knew it could be so…"

"I know." I agreed, fascinated by it as much as she was now, "I hate to say it, but…I don't think I ever reached that feeling…even with Tanya. I think that's why I was so afraid to make love that way with you. It was like I was cheating on her. That feels so wrong to say out loud…but it's true. And I know you love everything true."

She grinned at me and squeezed my hand, "I love true. So that's why I'm telling you this now."

Uh oh. A secret? God, no, don't let it be something terrible.

"My father is coming.", she said, as if she just confessed to being a man or something.

"How nice for him.", I joked, "Who's the girl?"

"Euuuu!!", she hit me in the chest as I tried to block her, unsuccessfully, "Shut up, that's my DAD!"

"Alright.", I let myself be serious now, "Why is he coming?"

Bella looked at me, almost ashamed, and answered, "Honestly…I don't know what else to do. I had a feeling you'd reject your parents, so, I called him after I got through to Joseph that day. He'll be here tomorrow night. He's not staying with us in our place. He'll be at a hotel. But when I'm really lost, I call my Dad. It might sound stupid…or a little girl thing to do…but I couldn't think of anyone else who could help us. Are you mad?"

I felt half my mouth smile as I breathed out a whisper of a laugh, "No, I'm not mad. I did all this to us. I put all the pressure on you, making you feel you need to save me somehow. And the more I tell you to stop trying, the more you dig in and fight for me. How could I be mad at you, Bella? I just feel bad you made your father waste a whole trip here. What can he do for me?"

"You don't know until you let him try.", she still had hope in her voice. I wish I could sound that way.

"You didn't tell him that you and I…", I hesitated, "That we sleep together, did you?"

"I left that out for now.", she said and I relaxed instantly, but then she added, "I thought that would be better said face to face."

"Bella, no!", I stopped walking and she turned to me, looking confused.

"Don't tell him, Bella.", I almost demanded, "You don't have to ruin your relationship with your father just because I was too scared to face mine! I won't let you do that. What if he does to you what my father did to me? He could stop paying for your classes, your apartment! You can't tell him, Bella. I won't mind, I'm a good actor. I can pretend we never touched each other. I can stay somewhere else while he's here."

"No, Edward.", Bella smirked at me, leaning on my chest, "I don't want to lose five minutes with you. I'm not ashamed of us. Are you?"

"Of course not.", I felt hurt that she'd even think such a thing, "Besides my daughter, you're the best thing that ever happened to me."

But from her end, she had given up her entire inheritance to me, a male whore who had been fucking her for ten days and nights now. In public…in a CHURCH!! Oh God!

"Besides all that," Bella started to walk again, holding my hand and pulling me along behind her, "I don't want you out of my sight. That's why I didn't go back to school yesterday or today…and I'm not going tomorrow. I don't want anything happening to you while I'm gone."

"I can take care of myself, Bella.", I smiled, loving it that she wanted to protect me. As if she was a great fighter. Hell, I can beat up four guys now all by myself, thanks to Emmett's lessons.

"If Victoria came to my place during the day, while I was at school and said, 'Time to come home, Edward.', what would you do?", she challenged, smirking, as if she was so sure of my answer.

I hated that. She knew how owned I was.

I stopped walking and Bella's hand broke away from mine as she took a step or two more, turning her head to me.

"At least you can see my _**weakness**_ clearly.", I muttered, feeling unworthy of her again.

"Oh, stop it, Edward.", she gave me a look that I didn't like, and she grabbed my hand, "It's not you being weak that holds you to her…I didn't mean to make you feel that way. I just meant, she could take you away at any time, and wouldn't even give you time to leave me a note or anything. Ever since that night I tackled her…I've been worried that she'd steal you away from me. And I don't want to let you go yet…ever."

Only Bella could take me from feeling like nothing…to being a King in a few sentences.

I took her in my arms and placed a very deep, passionate kiss into her mouth as she clawed my back a little bit, thrilling me with sweet little pains as I touched my tongue to hers…tasting her, sweet peppermint.

"Your father is going to hate me.", I informed as we slowly came out of our kiss. My nose was still touching hers when I said this, waking her out of her dream that everything was going to be alright.

"I know.", she admitted, "But he'll get over it. And he will help you. He's a good cop."

"He'll lock me up.", I smiled, amused by that vision myself.

"I won't let him do that.", she kissed me again, "I'm the only one who gets to lock you up."

I laughed and kissed her back quickly, then said, "He'll punch me in the face, then. I violated his daughter…in many, many ways. And I'm a whore. He'll drag you to the hospital to get checked out. He'll probably sleep in between us the entire weekend."

She giggled, imagining that, "I could see him doing that. But I'm not a child anymore. I won't let him do that. This weekend is ours. I won't let him destroy it for us."

"Saturday night.", I said, kissing her with a little smile.

"What about it?", she kissed me back, just as briefly.

"We have a date.", I informed, "A special…dress up date."

"We do?", her eyes lit up a bit.

"We do.", I confirmed, "I know you don't like fancy and dress-up, but…I want you to see me in a suit…and I want to see you in a dress. I want to dance with you…and I want to play the piano for you."

"I will dress up…", she agreed with a grin, "I would do anything to hear you play. But the dancing…you could get hurt, Edward."

"I'm tougher than I look, Bella.", I assured, taking her hand and slow dancing with her on the sidewalk, "See, we're practically dancing right now."

"My feet aren't moving.", Bella laughed and I looked and saw she was right. She was just rocking back and forth, but kept her feet cemented in place.

"Cheater.", I accused softly, kissing her forehead, still "dancing" with her.

A moment later, I heard myself saying, "Please don't tell your father that you slept with me, Bella. I don't want your life ruined. You have a good strong bond with your father. I can tell by your stories of him on our 'first date'. Don't throw that away for me."

"I do have a good strong bond with him.", she said, "That's why I can tell him anything…and I know he'll still be there, loving me anyway. Even if he's disappointed in me. I know his love for me is forever. We've been through too much together for me to lie to him now. Besides, how can I ask you to give me the truth always if I lie when it's convenient for me?"

I sighed and envied her belief in her father. I had to admit the truth again.

"You are so much stronger than me, Bella.", I said, knowing it, "I wish we had more time…you could teach me that."

"I'm not giving up on you, Edward.", she said, clinging to me tighter, "Don't you give up yet."

"You couldn't teach your kind of strength.", I said now, thinking better of it, "It has to be born in you."

"You have it, too, Edward.", she glared into my eyes, "It's just buried. It will rise up again."

"That dream I had…", I started to walk again, my arm around Bella, taking her with me, "I screamed 'fuck you' at my father. I told him off. It felt so good. You would've been proud of me, I think. I should've known it was a dream. In real life, I never do that."

"If you can dream it…you can do it.", she replied.

"I'm sorry I chickened out today.", I said, really feeling awful, "You're so brave and I'm so…"

"Shut up, Edward.", she put a hand over my mouth, "Before I stick a ball in there."

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EPOV

"Can't think of any games, huh?", Bella shoved me into a classroom after she gave me a tour of her college campus.

It was evening now and most of the classes were over and the halls fairly empty.

Even now, this classroom, without the lights being on, was very dim and dark, but not completely black.

"Oooh, the classroom…", I said, internally smacking myself for not thinking of it before.

I had thought of it before. But deep down, I didn't want to jeopardize Bella's standing in her school, and I had rejected the student/teacher scene…but if she was instigating this, who was I to complain?

I wonder if she's going to be the student or the teacher? I couldn't wait to find out.

I just stood there, waiting for her to begin.

"You wanted to see me, Mr. Cullen?", she chose to be the student….I wanted to exude a wicked laugh…I am an evil teacher.

It occurred to me that she didn't want to keep placing me in the sub role. She wanted to see me in true dom mode. I think she enjoyed my apartment rapist fantasy a little too much for her own good.

"I don't really WANT to SEE you, Miss Swan, but I'm forced to.", I made my voice cold and full of ice, going to the desk and leaning my ass against the edge of it, crossing my arms, "What the hell was that paper you wrote for me? Please tell me that's some kind of a joke, Miss Swan."

She looked at me, as nervously as if I were a real teacher of hers. I couldn't tell if she was really afraid of me, or if she was acting. If she was, she was incredible.

"What was…wrong with it, Mr. Cullen?", she asked timidly.

"What _wasn't_ wrong with is, Miss Swan?", I huffed, "I could get better thoughts out of a six year old!"

"What exactly didn't you like?", she asked, looking defeated already.

"It's not my job to point out all your mistakes!", I scoffed, "I shouldn't even be talking to you about it now. I should just fail you and let you repeat the course all over again next term…with me."

She looked down and I stood up straight now, coming towards her.

"That just makes you sick to your stomach, doesn't it?", I squinted, "Living through another year with me?"

"No, Mr. Cullen…"

"Yes, Miss Swan.", I scowled, "I know you hate me. To be honest, I'm not that fond of you, either. But we're stuck with each other."

She let out a breath and I was near the blackboard, taking the long pointer stick into my right hand.

"But I think I know a new way to make you learn.", I announced and her eyes raised up to my cruel gaze.

"Come over here and raise your skirt.", I commanded.

"What?", she looked more afraid now.

"God, you're pathetic.", I seethed, "Come over here. And. Raise. Your. Skirt."

I spoke slowly as if she had a mental problem.

She glanced at the door out and I didn't let my emotions show.

"Go if you like, Miss Swan.", I shrugged, "I'm not holding you prisoner here. But know this – if you walk out before I dismiss you, you will keep failing my class…and you'll never graduate. Can you really afford to sit here until you're thirty, Miss Swan?"

"Now do what I said.", I demanded, my face frowning at her.

She came over and lifted her skirt, showing a new pair of panties…one of the ones she bought that day with the girls and Emmett and Jasper…God, it's sexy! Red lace…yumm.

But something else was happening inside me. I didn't want to hit her with my stick. I didn't want to play.

I waited a minute of two…waiting to see if my mean teacher character would resurface…but he was gone.

"Bella?", I asked, frowning, hoping she wasn't disappointed in me.

"Yes, Mr. Cullen?", she asked, still playing her role.

"No, Bella," I put the stick down in the blackboard shelf and moved her skirt down, turning her towards me, holding her arms gently.

"Is it okay if we don't…do this?", I asked, looking towards the floor.

She looked at me and smiled this dazzling, beautiful smile.

"What's the matter?", I asked, afraid she'd start laughing at me.

"What do you mean?", she asked, waiting for me to explain.

"I'm so tired of playing games…and roles…and scenes…", I confessed, honestly, "I mean, if you want me to…I will, for you…but…can we just go home and make love…like we did the other night?"

She let out a breath and I noticed now she had tears in her eyes.

"Bella, I'm sorry.", I touched her face, "Never mind…I…I'll play with you…"

"Shut up, you little dope.", she wept, smiling, taking me into her arms so tightly I almost winced, "I am so glad to hear you say those things, Edward. I was hoping you would say it."

"That was a test?", I smiled at her, the little sneak strikes again.

She gave a little nod and I let my smile unfurl across my face.

"You little creep.", I brought her in for a huge, hard kiss.

We weren't playing school anymore but I enjoyed about twenty minutes of making out with Bella as she laid on the teacher's desk…I was half laying on her chest and her legs were wrapped around my ass as my erection threatened to take her right there, even ripping through her new panties if necessary.

"Let's get out of here.", I suggested at last and in minutes, we were running…racing each other back home to Bella's place. We were little kids…free and unafraid.

As we climbed up the stairs to her apartment, I scooped her up into my arms and put her on my back, holding her legs around my waist as I leapt, two stairs at a time, to get to her door so I could kick it in and make passionate, sweaty love to her all night.

But when we approached the door, there was a white envelope sticking halfway under it. I recognized my father's handwriting – and the last half my name – ARD showing before we unlocked the door.

If anything could kill an erection of mine…it was anything to do with my father.

Rest in peace, erection. I'll miss you.

I put Bella down on her feet and unlocked the door. I hate my father. I had finally felt alive again…free…and young…and now there's some letter here from him.

Bella saw it too and didn't say a word as we went inside. She picked the letter up, seeing my name in bold letters written across the envelope.

Closing the door behind us, I knew we had a decision to make now. Do we read it and deal with whatever it has to say…or burn it and forever forget them?

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

See next chapter soon!!

Love

WinndSinger

Notes: After taking a few days to think it over, I decided to put this story back in human form. The vampire idea was a sudden idea that I thought might be cool and an unusual twist…but I truly didn't like it either, and I don't want to cheat you or myself of a story that so far I am very proud of.

I hope you all understand and decide to stay with this story to the end. I didn't do this to please anyone – I am doing this to please myself. I feel much better keeping things on its current road – there are no vampires, no magic, this is still a very human story…and no matter what…it will end that way.

Thanks to everyone who supported me, even when they didn't like the twist. I appreciate all the reviews that helped me come to this decision.

As always, let me know how I'm doing…love you all !!


	23. The Bride of Frankencock

23

BPOV

We sat there, staring at the envelope as if it would jump up and start dancing by itself at any moment.

Be patient with him, Bella, I scolded myself. You have no idea what this could say. Let him take his time. But there is no fucking way he's burning it before we read it. Sorry, Cullen, not on my watch.

Finally, he remembered I was there and looked up at me sheepishly.

"I'm being a wimp again, aren't I?", he asked, ashamed.

"No, Edward, you're not.", I put my hand on his, hoping my eyes showed support, "I know your pain with them runs long and deep."

"You've gotta help me, Bella…", he said, struggling internally, clutching his hair with the hand I wasn't holding, "What should I do here?"

"Well, let's look at this rationally for a minute.", I took a breath and tried to take the emotion out of this.

I picked up the envelope and Edward almost jumped in his skin that I dared to lift it off the counter. I stopped for a second then smiled at him, showing him I wasn't opening it yet.

I felt the envelope between my thumb and fingers.

"It's thin, not bulky.", I observed, "It can't be all about your whole childhood, then. Unless it just says, 'We're vampires.'"

I tried to joke but Edward's eyes looked up at me, squinting, with a scowl.

"Sorry.", I offered, looking at Edward's name on the envelope.

"It's probably one page, knowing them.", he sounded bitter, glaring at it, "They can't even give me an hour of their time to write a long letter to me. Too much trouble…it's just me, after all."

"Maybe it's a check for a million dollars.", I held it up to the light overhead.

"Ukkk.", Edward frowned more, "I would hate that even more than a one page note. Throw money at him, and he'll go away…and their conscious is clear. No. If it is money, I am burning it."

"In Hell!", I let escape out of my mouth. Edward looked at me blankly.

"Sorry, " I winced a little, "I just can't see burning a check for any amount of money…my father had to work like a dog to make ends meet for us…I would just get sick to see you do that. Besides, it would be for Katie. It would help Ben and Angela…"

"It would kill me…", he finished my sentence and I looked at him in confusion, not understanding him.

"How do you think I would feel, doing all I've had to do to get money for Katie…and then, in five minutes, my parents just drop this big check in my lap and cover it all?! Now, at this point in time! It would almost be like I did it all for nothing!!"

"I understand.", I admitted, seeing his distress at this being money now.

He cringed, staring at his own name on the envelope.

"Your name is written very nicely, a calm hand wrote this.", I observed next, "The handwriting is big…that's good. Small handwriting is selfish. Big, open letters…that shows a generous nature in the writer."

"Bella…", Edward growled, suffering over this. He wanted an end to his misery.

"Okay, Edward.", I gave his hand a squeeze and decided, "I'm opening it."

He sat up, tensing as I took control of things and looked at him first.

"No matter what this says, I'm here.", I looked into his eyes, deeply, "Nothing will change the way I feel for you. We'll get through it. Yes?"

He swallowed and licked his lips nervously, then gave a little nod.

"Yes.", he let out a hard breath.

I really hoped it wasn't some one page explanation. Edward deserved more than that…more than a note. I wanted them to face him and tell him the truth. But then…what is the truth? Will it break him more to hear it? Or is it better left unknown?

I tore open the back of the envelope. It wasn't that glued together. I took another breath and opened the nice, heavy paper that was folded in three. Hotel paper from the Waldorf Astoria.

Edward stared at me, his eyes so fragile as I read to myself, silently.

_Dear Edward,_

_We were here a couple of times today, hoping to speak to you. We know you have every right to refuse us, but we do hope you will change your mind and see us._

What we have to say cannot be put into a letter or spoken over the phone. We even wrestled with the decision of telling you anything at all. We don't want to hurt you anymore. You are the one innocent person in all this. But maybe Miss Swan is right. If you are still hurting over the past, and I'm sure you are, then you need to know the truth. It may help you.

_We are staying at the Waldorf Astoria, the number and address is on this letterhead. We will be here for a week or so, and if you don't contact us, we will completely understand and never bother you again, if that is your wish.. _

_We do apologize, Edward, for everything. We failed you. We were terrible parents. We still are. We know we can't fix that, ever. But we love you. I can't even write that without feeling shame and guilt, but it's true. Believe it or not._

_Whatever you decide, be happy. _

_Love,_

_Carlisle and Esme Cullen_

God, they couldn't even write Love, Mom and Dad.

"Okay.", I breathed a bit of relief as he stared at me.

"What does it say?", he asked, "Wait. Do I want to know?"

"It's not bad. They don't tell anything in this letter. They are saying they will be in town for about a week, and if you want to see them, the choice is yours. They say they love you."

His eyes took on a glassy look as he looked at me deeper.

"They do?", he asked, almost in disbelief.

"Would you like me to read it out loud?", I let my hand dance down his beautiful, sad face, "It's alright."

He hesitated and then swallowed a few times, looking at the floor, then finally looked back at me.

"Yes, Bella.", he said, putting on a brave face, "Please read it."

I took my time and read the whole letter to him. I wished Carlisle's words weren't so…carefully chosen. I wished there was more emotion in his sentences…but this is probably who he is. Articulate, polished, exact. Also, cold.

My father would never promise to leave me alone from now on if I wasn't ready to talk to him in a week's time. He would forever keep trying to say he's sorry and make it up to me somehow.

I really hate the idea of walking into their hotel or them coming here now, and me not knowing what bombshells they're going to drop on Edward. What if I'm not good enough to help him through whatever they're going to say? Maybe I should talk to them first, before Edward. That's common in psychiatry. I would hate to bring James into this…but if his parents say something devastating…I will have to. I can't let Edward's suicidal thoughts, even from long ago, rise up again. I also don't want to betray him as he feared I would do.

When I was finished, I looked at his face and he looked a million miles away.

"Are you okay?", I asked, taking his hand in both of mine, letting the letter lay on the counter between us.

He didn't speak for a little while, his eyes were eyeing the perfect penmanship of his father on the paper.

"At least it wasn't a check.", I smiled, hoping he'd join me.

His eyes raised up to mine again and he looked so lost…I hated seeing him like that.

"You don't have to decide anything right now, Edward.", I said, "We have…time."

I had almost said we had three days left and I had almost said that he would be leaving me on Sunday. I want to cry…but I can't. I have to be iron now. Edward needs me.

"Three days.", Edward said with a sober voice, daring to say it out loud.

"Edward…", I trembled inside.

"I will talk to them.", he suddenly decided, "Will you ask them to come here? I don't want to see them at the Waldorf. It's more fitting that it's here…where my therapy has been. Where Dr. Bella's office is."

Now he gave me a little smile and I had to smile back.

"I still can't believe how much you've changed in only ten days.", I marveled out loud, "You're not the loveable little scamp who once asked me right out in a restaurant if I ever sucked cock before."

He laughed and my heart swelled with joy.

"I know.", he agreed, "You're a very talented doctor, Bella. But more than that…you're my best friend. And the girl of my dreams."

I leaned forward and held him, snuggling my cheek next to his as his lips kissed it innocently.

"You're the girl of my dreams, too.", I joked and we both laughed again, and I added, more seriously, "And you're my best friend, too, Edward."

He sniffed but his smile was still playing on his lips.

"That night…at the Chinese place…", Edward said, "I lied to you about my fortune."

I smiled more at his devilish smirk. I'm glad I had something to say back in response.

"So did I.", I stated, seeing his eyes light up and find mine again.

"You DID?! Do you want to know what mine said?", he asked, smiling like his old self…by that I meant the happy, go-lucky soul he was when I first met him ten short days ago…but they weren't really short. We had crammed a lifetime's worth of feeling into our brief time together. It seems like 100 years ago.

"Of course!", I squeaked, dieing to know now.

"It said, 'Love is the only medicine for a broken heart.'", he informed, looking into my face with a caring but sad gaze.

"I knew…even then..", he looked down at the counter, "And you being Dr. Bella…I knew you would find the right medicine for me. But I was afraid to tell you…I didn't want to fall in love, with anyone. I am supposed to be unattached…I'm supposed to love everyone…not just one."

"We are stupid.", I agreed, "But I don't think we had much choice in it. Some gods are up there, pulling our strings…watching how this will all play out."

And the gods can be very cruel when they play with mortals. Edward knows that better than anyone.

"What did yours say?", he suddenly remembered to ask me.

I smiled and looked down for a second, then kissed his mouth softly first. Then I whispered it.

"The one you love is closer than you think.", I breathed the words into his ear.

We smiled at each other, like a bird and a fish that somehow had a moment together…knowing it wouldn't last long…but enjoying it anyway.

"Either we were meant to fall for each other…", Edward said, "Or that Chinese lady set us up."

I laughed out loud, snuggling my face into his neck as he held me, kissing my face.

"That might be the answer to all this madness…the Chinese waitress! She must be destroyed!", I feigned a little anger, hearing his laugh.

I thought back to the beginning of my time with Edward. He was so happy and playful…and in control. I was the scared little mouse and he was the confidant lion. But now I can see that he was acting back then. I feel like I really have Edward with me now, even if it's not all fun and games…I have the real Edward Cullen now. And I love him. I don't want to let him go, ever.

And although I wished I never dug into his hurt soul this deeply, to bring all this sadness out of him, I still believed it had to happen. To get him to be truly happy, he must deal with the pain inside him…and conquer his demons.

I had to believe I was changing him for the better, even though at the surface, it looks like I had turned a carefree, smiling young man into a sad, trembling one.

"Will you be with me…when they come?", he asked, getting back to his parents, nodding towards their letter, needing me. And I loved having him need me, right or wrong.

At the same time, I didn't want him to need me this much. What will happen if he has to leave? He'll be alone. So painfully alone.

"I'll always be with you, Edward, you know that.", I said, as if it was obvious.

"It sounds like they have some bad things to say.", he said like a little boy, "What if it's something awful…something I can't live with?"

"Don't say that, Edward.", I almost frowned, "No matter what they say, you can handle it. You have to be strong. You're a father now. You don't have the option of being weak and breaking. Got that?"

He took another breath and looked at me, looking stronger in seconds, now that I reminded him of Katie.

"Got that.", he nodded, "Thank you, Bella. Thank you for being my friend."

"Always.", I smiled, kissing his lips, four small kisses.

"Sunday.", Edward said as he closed his eyes, coming in for another kiss, "We can have my parents over on Sunday. In the morning. I want the whole day and night with you, just to myself."

His mouth opened and took me in, soft…smooth…wet…hot…tongue slowly entering…finding mine.

I heard Edward moan and I half opened my eyes as he kept kissing me, harder now, roughly, as if he wanted all of me now.

"Bella…", he moaned my name again and I knew that voice. He wanted me…now.

The counter was between us and I whimpered back in response, wanting him too. How could we go from such a sad moment to this in three seconds? We are really meant for each other.

Before I knew it, Edward kept kissing me but he crawled over the counter like a hungry tiger coming after its prey. I gave a squeal at his agile leap. I tripped as I stepped backwards and we were blissfully on the living room floor now.

Edward threw the coffee table away from us with one hand as I shouted in surprise into his open mouth, his tongue struggling against mine.

"My recorder…", I muttered as he smothered my mouth with hot, wet kisses, almost taking away my air. But I wasn't complaining.

"Bella….session one…", Edward breathed, moaning a little as he tried to open his shirt buttons, then jerked it open, breaking some of them in the process as he kept kissing me, placing his shirt over my eyes like a bunched up blindfold.

"Dr. Edward…", I panted, grabbing his hair in the back of his head, "I need your help…bad."

I smiled, liking this as he grabbed my hair, turning my face aside so he could assault my neck with his tongue and biting teeth. I gave a little shriek as one particular bite pinched with a hint of pain.

"How does that make you feel, Bella?", he said in between some heavy, wet kisses, his lips smiling a little above me as I let myself fall into a daze, needing him to hurt me…to be savage with me.

I moaned in response to his question and added, "Yes…yes…tear my clothes off me…please!!"

Without a word, his fast hands were at the cleavage of my thin spring blouse. He grunted like a caveman, and yanked a couple of times, and I heard the fabric ripping…and the air touched my bare midriff and the tops of my breasts…and I grunted back, a dumb animal feeling pleasure, not thinking at all.

A second later, I heard Edward mutter, "Fucking bra again!" And he tore it apart with no effort at all, exposing my breasts to his hungry mouth. I cried out, loving it and his arms moved under my back and yanked me up to meet his wet mouth better…his perfect lips closing over my nipples…his teeth biting…his tongue lapping me.

My fingers wove themselves into his hair, jerking and grasping, holding his face closer to my body. The shirt he laid over my eyes fell off but he didn't care.

Next, I felt him quickly unbuckling my jeans, yanking them open, hurting the zipper a little as I panted harder, feeling him pulling them off me with no hint of delicate slowness. He had to take my sneakers off me first and that annoyed him too. I nearly laughed.

He growled to himself, ordering, "Stay.", before he got up and quickly went into the bedroom, coming back with a condom in its wrapper in his teeth.

His pants were already half down when he entered back here and I smiled at his naked penis, fully erect and monstrously large, ready to attack. That is, until Edward placed it's nice black cover over it.

"Dr. Edward…" I said as he was already back on top of me again, parting my legs and tasting me, his slick, hot tongue quivering itself into the thin, eager flesh waiting for it. He lapped at me as if there was no tomorrow and his fingers dug into my ass, serving my hips upwards to his mouth.

"Bella…", he breathed as he licked me harder, "I think I can help you…I think I know what you need."

I had to smile and close my eyes as he gave me what I longed for. He swirled his tongue in and out of my pussy, fucking me with his tongue.

"OH SHIT!!", I screamed out, almost ready to cum just from this alone. How does he spin his tongue like that ?

I started swearing like a sailor at him until I was screaming with no words…and I didn't even care what I looked or sounded like…I was screeching out, cumming so hard, clinging onto my own hair, my fists needing to clutch at something.

Without a word, Edward pierced himself into me, letting out a gut wrenching holler that aroused me even more. I scratched at his scarred back, and felt the faint oval shaped bite mark on his ass that was nearly gone. I wanted to make my mark on him, somewhere…but felt like Raven's horrible marks had ruined that for me.

But then I got a great little thought. I perhaps have made my mark in him…and it will not heal and fade in time with new flesh. I hope my mark is inside him…one no fingers or whips could ever touch or erase.

He was ramming himself over and over inside me and I just moved up and down under his body, gasping and heaving, my eyes rolling back into my head as my back arched up more.

His sounds were driving me mad with desire and my hips kept thrusting up to meet his pelvis as it drove up and down over me. Edward started to shout even louder at this, making inhuman sounds…groans and grunts of raw lust and pleasure.

After a sweet forever had seemed to pass, he laid on top of me, trying not to lean all his weight on me as I clung to his wet body, still incapable of speech as his arms shivered, too, holding me to him as if it hurt for our bodies not to be pressed together.

It was so hot…and it was dark outside now.

I loved it that I got this idea and grabbed the back of Edward's wet hair, making his face look at mine. He looked a little surprised at me as I said, "I want to fuck you on the fire escape now. Move it…and bring condoms."

I saw his mouth turn up at the corners as I wriggled free and ran to the window, opening it and peeking outside first. Edward stood up, watching me…wanting to see if I really had the guts to go out there.

I stepped out there and giggled, letting my shame go, standing out there, grabbing the iron ledge bars at my waist, flinging my long hair to one side as the breeze played with it, making it fall sexily over half my face.

"Oh fuck.", Edward said clearly and loudly, and his naked body raced into the bedroom, hurrying back and climbing out the window to join me.

"Bella, you little exhibitionist slut!", he sounded proud of me as he said the words, standing outside with me, unembarrassed at his own nudity outside.

He looked up over my head and smiled, a wicked little grin coming to his lips.

"Reach up and hold these bars.", he reached up and showed me the ones he meant.

I reached way up, straining to curl my hands around the thin black bars above me. I was on my tip toes now, breathing a little heavier as I saw Edward smile wider, showing teeth at what he was seeing now.

He cupped a hand under my right knee and raised it up, placing it over the ledge bar. He let my other leg stay straight, my toes pressing the floor below.

"Very nice.", he approved and I let out a little breath, peeking around me, seeing I was safe. Even if I fell, I was in the center of the fire escape. I wouldn't fall off. And I trusted Edward. He wouldn't let me fall.

I let my head fall back a bit, closing my eyes as his hands began to explore my body. He began at my one foot on the floor and tickled under it, where it was arched and I let out a little scream.

With a smile, he kissed my ankle and nipped at it while I tried to keep my balance, my hands holding on for dear life on the bar overhead now. His mouth slowly kissed up my leg, playing for awhile around my kneecap and then aroused me as he licked and kissed with tongue up my inner thigh.

Getting down on his knees, he said in a low voice, "I'm kneeling before you Bella. Finally."

"No.", I breathed, not wanting him to serve me that way.

"Relax, Bella.", he began to lightly stroke between my legs with his sure fingers, "I WANT…to kneel before you. You're the one person…I can honestly fall to my knees with…I love belonging to you…I DO…belong to you."

I remember him saying that to me in the beginning – I love belonging to you. Back then, I knew it was a line…and it had made me feel sad. Now I wanted to fly and scream it to the heavens…celebrating it.

He was teasing me now, taking small little licks into my already sensitive pussy as I hissed out, clutching those bars with my hands as if I were hanging over a deadly drop below.

His expert fingers spread me open and his mouth rose up, sucking and opening, closing, moving…tongueing every little crevice and hidden little space within.

I kept saying his name…"Edwarrrdddd….Eddddward….Edward…."

Soon it became not a name but a wonderful sound I was making…a magical word that meant this powerful feeling inside me, a spell that was cast over me.

I didn't say anything else except that the whole time…and I felt his sweet fingers playing where he'd just painted with his tongue and hot saliva. I could feel three fingers now…moving in different directions…in…and slowly…out…and in again.

"UGGGHHHH!!!", I tossed my head way back, seeing the city upside down as my dark hair hung out behind me. I screamed louder, seeing people on the sidewalks in the distance…shops still open for business. I didn't give a fuck. Let them hear me. Let them be jealous of me having this sensuous god all to myself.

He was holding my knee that was over the ledge securely with his free hand, making sure I was secure and safe.

"Fuck, Bella, I want you now.", his voice sounded urgent after I came and my eyes were hardly open as he moved around behind me, holding an arm around me, right under my breasts and arching me backwards against his chest, giving my head a nice flesh and muscle pillow, my lips finding his neck and kissing anywhere I could reach with wild abandon.

Then I felt his cock, covered by a new condom, pressing against my melting pussy lips and then penetrate upwards into me, and I screamed out again, hearing his voice give a very low groan as well.

"Hold those bars, Bella.", he took a step back and was holding my propped up leg over his strong arm now, and he raised and lowered me to his savage cock, his hips pumping up and down along with my falling and rising body.

Damn, Edward IS strong, I realized as he worked me. Part of me thought this is a good workout for his arms, as he didn't get to work out at the gym much while he was with me.

I was screaming and so was Edward. I hoped no cops were getting calls about us right now…imagine if Edward's parents tried to come to the door now!

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum, Bella…please…", he panted, wanting me to come before he finished, "I'll hang on…wait."

Then he was furiously pounding himself into me and that was it. I came right there and then, and was yelling it at him.

"I'm cumming!! I'm cumming, Edward!!", I screeched, "God!! YES!!"

Thank God no little kids live around my place. I'd feel so dirty now.

He let out a roar of relief and growled out and I felt his body tense and then relax…his vigorous pumping stopped…and there was a warmth inside me….and I knew he'd come too.

I don't think I could've held onto the bars for another second, and Edward scooped me up into his arms after he withdrew out of me. He was kissing my forehead as he crawled us back into the apartment and took me into the bathroom.

I was half out of it but I remember him placing me in the empty tub. In seconds, the red hot sensation of flowing water was upon my ankles and legs…and Edward closed the drain, letting a nice hot bath run as my eyes tried to focus on his perfect face above me.

He quickly took care of his condom and slipped into the tub with me, seated behind me, letting his legs open and allowing me to lay back on his body as the water began to rise up around our weak, sweating bodies.

"My poor baby.", he said in a low voice as he rubbed the palms of my sore hands with his fingers, under the hot water's touch at my sides, "I'm sorry, Bella."

It didn't hurt much at all now…and I didn't notice my hands with all that was happening to my body on the fire escape. I just smiled and enjoyed his caring touch…feeling his kisses on my palms next.

"Don't apologize.", I said, still feeling high and wonderful, "I love it on the fire escape."

He laughed but kept caring for my hands, working them with his thumbs now, very firmly in the centers.

"I've created a monster, haven't I?", he asked, placing a soft and long kiss on my cheek.

"Definitely.", I smiled, proudly.

"The Bride of Frankencock.", he said, "She's alive! Alive!"

We burst out laughing and Edward explained to me who Frankencock was.

"You named it?", I kept laughing, "And after a monster? That says a lot about you."

"No, don't analyze it.", Edward whined, "Just leave it alone. I don't wish to be committed by Dr. Bella."

"That would keep you from getting away from me.", I had to admit, "I'll just lock you in my own little rubber room, in a nice, tight straightjacket…and no pants."

"Mmmm, it's the opposite of your no shirt rule, huh?", he commented, moving his fingers over my breasts under the bathwater, his foot pushing the knob to the wall, shutting off the water pouring into the tub, "I like the sound of that. What would you do to me in that little padded cell?"

"I would come in, wearing the shortest little skirts and tightest little blouses…", I began, "And I would pull you up by the hair and make you answer my questions. We would have lots of good therapy. And after we finish our talks, I would shove you down on your back and administer some…oral examinations on you."

"Ohhhh yessss.", Edward smiled big and let his head fall back a bit, "I'm loving this idea more and more…and then what, Dr. Bella?"

"I would be cruel and tease you…not letting you cum right away.", I played, "Everytime you get close, I'll stop and watch you poor little body squirm in its jacket, and watch your beautiful green eyes plead with me."

"God, you evil bitch.", he smiled and laughed a little, "Tell me more."

"Then I'd slip off my panties and stuff them into your begging little mouth.", I fantasized onward, hoping he knows I'm just making all this up. In reality, I could never harm this man. It would be worse than cutting or hurting myself.

"Those will taste good.", Edward imagined it as he listened to my fable.

"And then I'd get you nice and hard again with my mouth…", I said, "And I'd straddle you…and have my way with…Frankencock." I almost couldn't say it out loud without laughing.

"No condom?", he was amazed.

"Nope.", I said, "You'd be all mine in that room. You'd never have to wear a condom with me – in our little fantasy world."

"Cool.", he sounded pleased, as if I were reading him a fairy tale.

"And then if you were very good, I'd come back later and feed you.", I smiled, imagining myself feeding Edward a nice, wet cherry.

"Paradise.", he hummed, closing his eyes, "And the Frankencocks lived happily ever after."

I giggled, still amused by his name for his monster penis. I kept picturing it green with little bolts sticking out of each side.

"Tomorrow's Friday.", he said all of a sudden and my eyes opened, and my heart cracked in about one hundred places.

"I know.", I whispered, hearing only the little movements of water around our bodies.

His arms tightened around me and I clung to them, too, not wanting to think about Sunday being our final day together.

"I love you, Bella.", he said simply.

I let a heartbroken breath escape my lips and I responded, "I love you too, Edward. I'll always love you."

He turned my chin to him and closing his eyes, he was kissing my lips with a very gentle and innocent mouth.

"Always.", he breathed after his lips finally released mine.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Today is Friday, Day 12

BPOV

Edward seemed much happier today as he helped me make lunch for my father. He was singing and joking around with me all day and I was glad. I hoped my father handled the news well today. He'd have to be a saint not to get angry.

The first thing Edward said to me today was, and in the happiest voice I ever heard him use, "Hey! I'm gonna get punched in the face today."

I assured him he wasn't…but then I thought about it. Maybe he would. At least I know Charlie wouldn't be wearing his uniform and gun over here today. That's a plus.

"You know how to block a punch, right?", I asked Edward during breakfast and he nodded, not looking all that scared. Again, he didn't fear physical pain or punishment. He was more worried about what Charlie would do to me in response to what we had to tell him today.

I asked that he not be here at first when Charlie came in so I could talk to my Dad alone before he met Edward. But Edward refused to do that. He said I had been there always for him, and would be there when his parents came back, so he would not abandon me now, either.

"I deserve to be punched, Bella.", he finally admitted, "Let him do it to me. It'll make him feel better and maybe he'll respect me afterwards. It's a guy thing. I won't hit him, if that's what you're worried about. I wouldn't hurt your father, Bella. I'll just hold still and let him hit me. I promise."

"I believe you…and that's why I'm mad.", I argued, "I don't want my Dad hitting you…and I don't want you holding still so he can, either. Besides, he might mess up the pretty face."

I squeezed his cheeks together and kissed them and giggled at how cute he looked this way, his full little ducky lips all squished together.

"Please stop that.", he raised a brow and I released him.

"Victoria will go ape shit if you come back there with a black eye or something, won't she? I mean, won't you get in more trouble?", I asked, then got mad at myself for even mentioning the bitch's name…or the thoughts of him going back there.

"No.", he stirred the soup, "I can just tell her you were hitting me in play and it happened. I heal pretty quickly. Besides, I'll be out of …"

He stopped and I looked up at him. Turning quickly, he was chopping the salad, not saying anything now, his brow creased.

"You'll be out of what?", I frowned, not liking this.

"I'll be out of…band aids…if I…", he hesitated, a bad liar.

"Liar.", I accused, "Say what you were going to say, Edward."

He clenched his jaw and stopped chopping lettuce, looking at me.

"I'll be out of circulation for a few days, once I go back.", he said, "I have a few days of punishment waiting for me when I get there."

I slammed the plates down on the counter, making Edward jerk in his skin.

Because of me attacking Victoria.

"Charlie is coming.", I said in a low growl, almost to myself, "He will help us. There has to be a law against this."

"Do you know how long pimps and whores have walked the earth, Bella?", he sighed, "Legal or not? Victoria is dangerous. I wish your father would just stay out of all this. I don't want him getting hurt."

"I don't want you getting hurt, either.", I felt tears in my eyes, looking at him.

"I signed up for this.", he began to chop the lettuce again, "I've accepted the money, I signed the contract. I'm no victim in this shit."

"How can you SAY that?!", I shouted, picturing him in that fucking cage at Fire again, with Victoria ordering him to kneel.

"Because it's TRUE, Bella!", he raised his voice, then looked sorry as soon as he did it, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't yell at you."

"Listen…I've been thinking…", Bella suggested, her voice shaky, "Maybe we can make this work, even if you have to go back to Victoria…for a little while."

"Bella.", he put his knife down and began to move forward, to come and comfort me.

"No wait.", I felt tears in my eyes, panicking, "Maybe Emmett can somehow stay in touch with me…for awhile…just to let me know how you are…Victoria won't know about it."

"Please don't do this, Bella.", he pleaded, his hands moving up and down my arms, "Why don't we just have a nice visit with your father? Tell him I'm some boy you've been seeing from school. I am going back to Victoria, there's nothing anyone can do for me in the next couple of days. And you can't have any contact with me after I leave…I'm not allowed to have girlfriends. She'll hurt you if you come around. You can't do that. It's alright. You tried your best, and it's more than anyone else has ever done for me. Even if you did find a way to free me by some miracle, I'd never know how to fit into a normal life…a normal job now. Just promise me you won't come after me when I go."

"No!", I yanked away from him, hating him, hating that he wasn't willing to try or fight harder.

"Bella!", he called, about to say something when the door knocked, a playful rap on the other side.

Edward looked at the door and then me as I rushed to it and unlocked it, seeing the familiar white, blue, and gray flannel shirt, opened, with a white t-shirt beneath it, dark blue jeans, sneakers, the spiky, mussed black hair, with a hint of gray at the temples…the dark eyebrows almost hiding the soft sparkle in his dark brown eyes…and his smile.

"Dad.", I felt myself cry as I flung my arms around him, unable to hold in a few tears and sniffles as he hugged me back, his hands patting and rubbing my back. He was never very good with the crying girl moments.

"Hi Bells.", he sounded like he knew already something was wrong. I didn't think of it right away…but then I remembered he could see Edward standing behind me, in my kitchen, helping make lunch. He probably suspected Edward was the one making me cry now.

"Don't cry, honey.", he tried to comfort me and make me stop, "It's okay. I'm here."

"Come in, Dad.", I offered, and finally let him come inside, looking down and trying to stop my chin from quivering as my father eyed Edward, entering.

"Dad, this is Edward Cullen.", I introduced them, controlling my emotions, or trying to, "Edward, this is my Dad, Charlie Swan."

"Nice to meet you, Chief Swan.", Edward stepped forward and respectfully gave my father a nice, firm handshake and I had to admire the scene while it was still friendly.

When I first met Edward I felt sad thinking this meeting would never happen. But it was. Too bad they'd be fighting soon. Well, at least my Dad would be.

"Oh, you know I'm a Chief, huh?", Charlie grinned, not very outgoing with new people, "I guess Bella's been telling you all about me, then."

Edward smiled at me and then my Dad.

"She only has great things to say about you.", Edward informed, letting go of my father's hand now, "She's told me everything about your fishing adventures together."

"Oh, do you fish, Edward?", Charlie asked, crossing his arms, in judging stance. Uh oh.

"No, I never have.", he admitted, "But I've always wanted to. I'm a city kid, mostly, but I would love to give it a try sometime."

Charlie gave Edward a little grin, admiring honesty. I know he's looking at how handsome Edward is and he's not liking that. Maybe I should let them get to know each other better before I tell Charlie the whole story. Maybe we should eat first.

"Dad.", I sat him on one of the stools at the counter outside the kitchen and felt a little grossed out that Edward had tied me to one of these, naked, and now my father was possibly sitting on the same stool.

"Edward and I have made you a great lunch.", I informed, "We made your favorite, steak and potatoes…and salad."

"And soup.", Edward stirred his soup and turned off the fire below it.

"And soup.", I repeated, feeling very nervous now. Get it together, Bella.

"Is something wrong, Bella?", Charlie asked, never being a fool and never missing it when something was bothering me. It's one of the disadvantages of having a cop for a father. I can't fool him.

"Well, yea, but we want to talk to you after lunch, okay?", I asked and now my father's eyes were on Edward…God only knows what he's thinking.

"And before you start," I said, "I'm not pregnant, I'm not getting married, and my grades are fine."

Edward turned to Charlie, smiling a little, but Charlie did not look amused. Without a word, Edward turned back around to spoon his soup into bowls.

We ate, making lots of small talk. Edward was very good at drawing Charlie out and making interesting conversation with him. I didn't know Edward was such a baseball fan, but they talked about it for over 30 minutes while I watched them interact. At one point, Edward even made my Dad laugh…and that was fantastic to see.

Once we were finished, Edward began to clear the dishes away and Charlie found that a little odd, going by his expression.

"Forget the dishes for now, Edward.", I said under my breath to him, "We need to do this now before I lose my nerve."

"Bella, please, think about this first.", he whispered to me, still not sure what I was doing was going to be good for me.

"I told you, I don't care about being yelled at, I want to help you, and whether you like it or not, I am going to, now come!", I jerked his arm and he stumbled after me as I led him to the living room.

"Let's sit in here, Dad, okay?", I cleared my throat, plopping Edward down on the green sofa in his favorite spot during therapy.

Charlie got up from the counter and took a little sip of his beer, putting the can down on the counter top and moving over towards us. I sat beside Edward on the sofa and Charlie took the chair across from us, where Dr. Bella usually sits.

"Bella tells me you have a big problem.", Charlie looked at both of us now, wondering what it could be, "So, let me hear it."

"Alright, but Dad, here are the rules.", I leaned forward, "You have to listen to us until we're finished. You have to swear not to yell too much when we're done. And you have to swear not to become violent."

"I told you, Bella, it's a guy thing. It's alright if he does.", Edward tried to argue with me now but I told him to shush.

Then he looked at Charlie and said, "Any reaction you have is alright. It's okay if you yell or…become violent. I would if I were you."

"I've heard every story there is, Edward.", Charlie scratched his cheek, "I doubt you two are going to tell me something that drives me insane enough to yell or become violent. Go ahead."

"Alright, Dad.", I said, taking a breath, "This is what happened. You know I'm majoring in psychiatry. Well, I needed to choose a person…an interesting person to study and do a paper on. I did have someone picked out…and at the last minute, they bailed on me. I had two days to choose someone. So I went to this club in town called Fire…and I met Edward there."

Edward gave a weak smile as Charlie's eyes darted to him, almost burning him a bit with their stare.

"I work there.", he tossed in.

"Edward is a dancer there.", I stated, watching my father's face. Nothing yet. Just a stern look as he waited for the rest of the story.

"I asked Edward if—" I began but Edward cut me off.

"Let me say it, please Bella.", Edward looked at me and I gave a little nod.

"Chief Swan, Bella had asked me to be her subject for her paper.", he said, "But I told her I don't work for free. I charge women…for my time. Bella didn't want to agree to something so sordid, but…she was desperate for a person to do her report on. So…she hired me so she could….study me."

"Stop making yourself sound so sleazy, Edward.", I frowned, "It's wasn't like that. I went after _you_."

Charlie was clearly frowning now, not liking any of this talk one little bit.

"The thing is, Dad, that since Edward has been talking with me…as I've been getting to know about his life.", I said, "It's like this. Edward is working for this Victoria woman who runs the club he works at. But he doesn't just work for her…she owns him, Dad. It's a long story and it will take a long time to tell, but Edward is being held by her against his will. She makes him do the most…he's a slave, Dad. And women pay to hurt him and attack him. That's what I need your help with, Dad. I need you to help me set him free. He doesn't want to go back. And we only have three more days together before he has to go back to her."

Edward was looking down at the floor as I was telling my father all this and now his eyes met Charlie's.

"You…_hired_ him?", Charlie was keeping his face stone, his voice still calm. He was in interrogation mode now.

Edward looked at me and swallowed.

"With what?", he asked, "You have no—"

Then he stopped and frowned at me harder. His eyes widened and he said, so dangerously low in his voice that it even scared me.

"Your inheritance?!", he growled, "My mother's money?!"

"Dad, I know that—" I tried but was cut off.

"That was her whole life SAVINGS, Bella Swan!", Charlie's eyes were very angry now and his voice was loud, "She gave it all to you! So you'd have some security someday, to start a family, buy a home or a business of your own!! She believed you would be smart and take care of that money! And you bought a _whore_ with it?"

I didn't even take the second to see Edward's reaction – I sprung to my feet and towered over my father as he kept sitting in my chair.

"DON'T YOU DARE CALL HIM THAT!!", I had tears in my eyes, "Don't ever say that word again!! He's not a whore! He's trapped, CHARLIE!! I called you here so you could help him!!"

"Bella, stop.", Edward was trying to calm me down, standing up behind me, gently placing his hands on my arms.

Charlie leapt up and shouted at Edward.

"Take your hands off my daughter!", he snapped.

Edward didn't say a word but I felt his hands release me.

"Can't we all sit down and go back to calm talking?", Edward offered, hopefully, "Bella is a very good therapist and I know more things get resolved when there's no yelling."

At this, I decided to be the first one to calm myself down, knowing he was right. But if Charlie insulted Edward again I was going for his throat.

I sat down where I had been, next to Edward…and eventually, Charlie sat down too.

He was scowling at Edward now and I didn't like that either. Edward was making full eye contact with Charlie now, no longer looking at the floor in shame and that made me very proud of him.

"Bella doesn't like that word – whore.", Edward said calmly, "I call myself that all the time and she takes my head off for it, too. I know what I am, Chief Swan, I'm not denying it."

"But you want my help to get out of it.", Charlie said coldly, staring Edward down.

"I don't think there is a way out for me.", Edward said, honestly, "Bella loves to solve problems and she's been a very good psychiatrist and friend. She doesn't want me to go back to my life, as it is. She wants to help me. And I admire her for that…but…I just don't think it's possible…in the next three days, or maybe, ever. And it's very dangerous. Victoria…is part of a criminal family, if you know what I mean. People helping me could get hurt…I don't want that. Bella wanted to call you for help and you know how hard it is arguing with her."

"How much did she pay you?", Charlie didn't seem like he was listening to a word Edward was saying and that pissed me off.

"Dad, does it matter?", I clenched my fists, keeping my seat.

"I want to know!", he shouted, keeping himself in the chair.

"Twenty thousand.", I clenched my eyes for a second, then glared at him.

Edward looked down and then at my father again.

"I swear, Chief Swan, if I could, I'd give it all back to her right now.", Edward said with a tone of sadness in his voice, "She has given me so much…"

"The entire inheritance.", Charlie's eyes almost hurt me when they looked at me. He looked utterly disgusted with me. I never saw that look touch me before from him.

Edward looked like he wanted to help fix this but I wished he would stop talking for a second. He was pissing Charlie off even more by trying to explain.

"That's my fault, Sir.", Edward took the blame, "I didn't give her a choice."

"Did you sleep with her?", Charlie was glaring at Edward now, ignoring me, as if I wasn't even here.

Edward hesitated and was about to answer when Charlie lunged at him. The hesitation in Edward gave him his answer and before I could react much, Charlie had Edward by the shirt, against the wall as a couple of knick knacks fell and crashed to the floor.

"You little SLEAZE!!", Charlie gritted through his teeth as he slammed Edward's back against the wall again, "You fucked my daughter!! For MONEY!!"

"DAD!!", I screamed, pulling on Charlie's flannel shirt to make him stop, "You're hurting his back!! STOP IT!!"

Edward's whip marks would open if he kept slamming his back that hard and I didn't want my father causing him more pain, not to mention the pain of being called a sleaze and a whore.

"I'm gonna hurt a lot more than his back!!", Charlie growled, slamming his back again to the wall as Edward let out a small pant of breath.

"DAD, STOP IT NOW!!", I tried to grab Charlie's arms that were like rock, pinning Edward to the wall. I also noticed Edward wasn't even struggling or begging to be released. He was just taking it.

"I know how you feel, but I'm not sorry.", Edward said in his own defense, looking right at Charlie's twisted face, "Bella is my best friend. And I know you love her, too, so I don't blame you for wanting to hurt me. So go ahead. I won't fight you."

"Dad, don't!!", I nearly cried, unable to pull my father off.

"Bella, please, get out of the way.", Edward looked at me, "You're gonna get hurt."

Charlie drew a fist back and watched Edward's face as he did it. Edward let his head rest against the wall behind him and closed his eyes, waiting for it.

"Dad, don't you hurt HIM!!", I leapt on my father's back, my arms around his neck, "I love him!!"

"Calm down, Bella.", Charlie's voice was calm again and he dropped his fist, still looking at Edward, "I'm not going to hurt him."

I breathed a sigh of relief and let my father's neck go, landing to my feet as Charlie slowly let Edward go, taking a step or two back from him.

"Why?", Edward stayed against the wall, stunned.

"I can't hit a man who's not going to fight back.", Charlie informed, "It's not right."

"Thank you Dad.", I heard myself saying, sounding eternally grateful.

"It's not that I don't want to kick your ass. I do. But I can see you care about her.", Charlie said, still looking at Edward, "Telling her to get out of the way…I was just about to tell her the same thing when you said it. I don't like it…but it is what it is."

I smiled a little. "That's what Edward always says."

Charlie sat down in the chair I gave him earlier and let his head fall into his hands…another Edward move. They are more alike than they know.

"Are you alright?", I went to Edward as he straightened and took a step or two from the wall…and there was a little blood on the wall.

"I think so.", he said before I shouted.

"Your back!", I yelled, feeling instant fury, "I knew IT!!"

"Shit.", Edward said as I brought him to the kitchen, ordering, "Take off your shirt."

"Bella, I'll take care of it in the bathroom.", he began to argue but I wasn't in the mood now.

"How're you going to reach your back alone?", I asked, "OFF!"

He sighed and unbuttoned the shirt, removing it and letting his head drop a bit as I wet a clean washcloth with warm water, gently dabbing the little lines that had fresh blood on them, feeling tears in my eyes as it blurred my vision.

"Jesus Christ.", I heard Charlie from the living room and Edward let out a ragged breath. He was seeing Edward's chest from his viewpoint and the marks Raven had inflicted there.

"What the hell?", Charlie was slowly coming forward, towards Edward.

"What'd you think we were kidding, Dad?!", I almost hollered at my father as he silently came into the kitchen where we were, and he got a good look at Edward's back now.

"Damn," Charlie said as he watched me cleaning the blood off Edward's skin.

"They were just beginning to heal, thank you Dad.", I couldn't hide my anger at him right now.

"It's alright.", Edward's voice was brave, "It doesn't hurt."

"I wouldn't have called you, here, Dad, if it wasn't an emergency.", I said to my father at my side as I worked, "I didn't have to tell you anything! I know you're angry and hurt…and disappointed in me…but we don't have time to deal with all that now. I'm in love with Edward…and he loves me. We didn't plan it and we know it's impossible, but we can't help it. I need to save him, Dad. Look what they do to him. And this is only part of the physical pain they inflict on him…you have no idea what they've done to him on the inside."

"I knew there was something more to it when you closed your eyes and waited for my fist.", Charlie was addressing Edward now, "I saw that once before…a kid. His father used to beat him regular. I saw the man raise his hand to his son and the kid froze and waited for it…just like you did when I had you."

Edward's face half turned towards us but then he looked straight ahead, letting out a little breath.

"They call him a pain slave.", I said gently to my father as I began to apply the ointment, the blood all cleaned away now, "They do the most terrible things to him. _This_ is _nothing_, Edward told me, compared to what they usually do to him."

"Tell me more about these people.", Charlie said and I felt as if I might cry out loud. This meant my Dad wanted to help…and know more.

I reminded my father that this is the Edward Cullen I had him to the background check on, that I lied about Rosalie dating him. I reminded him of Edward's past…his daughter…the fire. The more my Dad learned the less he wanted to beat Edward up. He didn't exactly love Edward and want me to marry him one day, but he understood, I think.

We didn't go into great detail about our arrangement at the beginning – of how Edward was teaching me sexually just as I was teaching him to deal with his pain and past. We didn't need to tell him everything. We did assure him we always used protection when we were together and my father almost lost his lunch at that point.

But the basics were shared. I even confessed to attacking Victoria at the club…and told how Edward defended me and got me out of there.

Edward told him more about Victoria, the club, the other dancers there, how he came to belong to her, and even about the threats they make to him about his blood being used to frame him and then talked about her promises of harming his daughter if he ever tried to leave.

I noticed Charlie stole one of my new notebooks and began to take notes on what Edward was saying. Edward almost laughed at that, remembering me with my notebook, seeing the family similarities there. I just shot him a look and he hid his smile.

Finally, Edward said to my father, after the fifth page of notes, "Please, Chief Swan, this is getting to be too much. My daughter could be hurt…or killed if this isn't handled right. And so could Bella. I can't risk this."

"Edward," Charlie looked straight into Edward's eyes, "Nothing is going to get better if you don't try. Someday, they _will_ hurt your daughter…and everyone you care about. People who keep slaves and hostages are huge cowards. They only have power because of your fear."

"You're damn right I'm afraid!", Edward shouted back, "That's my daughter!"

"And that's my daughter.", Charlie nodded towards me, "She's in danger now, too, and I won't tolerate that, Edward. I have to do whatever it takes to make her safe again. If you care as much as you say, you'll do the same, for both Bella and your little girl. So…are you in…or are you out?"

Edward smiled at me, remembering me saying the exact same thing to him as I drove him away from Raven's that night. Yes, I stole that from my father and he knew it now.

"I'm in.", he said, looking very nervous. I knew he was worrying about his daughter and I admired that. I gently rubbed the back of his clean, new t-shirt, assuring him it would be alright.

"I know what I'm doing, Edward.", Charlie further assured, "I wouldn't do anything to get a child hurt. I can't guarantee I can wrap things up in three days, but I'll do what I can while I'm here."

"Thank you, Chief Swan.", Edward said with real feeling, "I can see where Bella gets her courage and brains…"

Charlie hated getting compliments but he scoffed and said, "She gets her looks from her mother, lucky for her."

"Dad.", I frowned and my father actually smiled a little.

He looked at Edward again and said, "And…you can call me Charlie, kid."

"Oh.", Edward looked more relaxed as he grinned and said, "Thank you, Charlie."

"Don't get too comfortable, Edward.", Charlie frowned a bit, "I might still hit you, later."

"Alright.", Edward agreed, "You know where to find me."

My father was headed towards the door and I guessed this meant he was leaving for now. He turned to me and didn't lower his voice as he said, really, to both of us, "I still hate this whole thing, Bella. Don't think I'm not mad as Hell at both of you right now."

"I know, Dad.", I did feel bad for my father, I knew this would be a lot for him to take. I hated that I had to involve him in this.

"But at least Edward was doing his job, as sick as it is.", Charlie gave Edward a look, then said to me, "But Bella, you know better. We're not done talking about this."

"I know.", I felt tears come to my eyes. I had really hurt him and I could see that in his eyes.

"I'll be around.", Charlie didn't hug me right now and I understood that, "I need a little time to think…and I'll start checking things out." At that, he raised his notebook and eyed Edward for a moment.

"Please be careful, Dad.", I said, knowing he was smart enough to handle this without my help.

"I always am.", he said, no emotion in his voice, "See ya."

He didn't kiss me goodbye, either, but I knew I'd have to give him time.

My Dad was walking down the stairs, taking him out as I closed the apartment door, turning to Edward. He looked deep in thought about something else and I went to him, carefully putting my arms around him so I wouldn't hurt his back anymore, "I think that went pretty well."

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See next chapter soon!

Love

WinndSinger


	24. My Resignation Letter

24

Notes: Yes, Edward still calls Katie everyday, even though I haven't shown that in the last couple chapters. And yes, his condoms are always working.

OH MY GOD!! I SAW THAT WONDERFUL DELETED SCENE WITH BELLA STICKING HER FINGER IN EDWARD'S MOUTH AND GIVING HIM A TASTE!! GOD, I WISH I WAS HERE, JUST FOR THE MAKING OF THAT MOVIE!! I'D HAVE DONE THAT SCENE FOR FREE!! MAMA!!

It's therapy time!!

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EPOV

"Edward…session…eight?", Bella looked at me, unsure.

"I think it's seven." I tried to recall but Bella shrugged and said, "Anyway…"

"Hi Edward.", she greeted me like this every time and it always made me smile. As if I hadn't seen her since the last recorded session.

"Hi Dr. Bella.", I grinned, sitting on the sofa as she had her usual chair across from me.

"So…", Bella took a little breath, looking towards the window to her right, "So much for my Dad not letting our problem upset him."

She gave a little grin so I let my face smile back at hers, hoping she wasn't hiding her hurt at her father's visit an hour ago. I hoped she knew she wouldn't have to hide it from me. I could be here for her, too.

"I know.", I remembered Charlie saying that he'd heard every story and how ours wouldn't make him yell or turn violent, "So much for your rules."

She was digging her pen into the notebook paper in her lap, and her jaw was a little tight for a second.

It looked now like she was upset…and she didn't talk. Her eyes were cemented on her notebook. Is she sorry we told her father? Does she feel I'm not really worth the huge rift that lied between her and Charlie now? They were so close when Charlie first came in…and now…

"Bella?", I began, "I am so sorry. I still can't believe you did that for me."

"Silly Edward.", she put on a brave face for me, "I did it for us…and I would do anything for you. I love you. I would die for you."

That statement was the equivalent of a knife piercing my chest. My mouth fell open and I felt sick for a second…thinking of Tanya…Victoria…the fucking danger of all this now.

"Don't ever say that again, Bella.", I heard myself say in a stern voice.

"I'm sorry.", she realized what I was feeling and it showed in her face, "I didn't think…I didn't mean…"

She sighed and changed the subject.

"So…how'd you like my Dad?", she asked, trying to smile more.

" I liked him.", I said without hesitation, "But he was way too kind to me. He should've hit me."

"You wanted him to, didn't you?", she asked, knowing me too well.

"Yes.", I was done trying to hide or lie to Bella at this point, "I know it was wrong of me…to take your money like that…to…make love to you for it. I've screwed over so many girls for money…when Charlie had me against the wall, it was like…finally one of their fathers got their hands on me…and now maybe I could pay for some of what I've done."

"I know how it made me feel…", Bella said, "When my father called you whore and…sleaze…but...how did it make you feel?"

I looked at my hand for a few seconds and almost lied and said I was used to that…but I admitted the truth.

"I hated it.", I confessed, looking at her briefly, "I wanted Charlie to like me. He was very cool during lunch and I felt like he was liking me a little bit. Then…when we told him…the way he looked at me…I felt so disgusting again...I usually feel that way, but, lately, with you…when we're alone…I don't feel so dirty. I'm clean. And I'm not doing anything wrong, somehow. I almost forget I'm a prostitute when I kiss you. And I didn't use the word whore, so you can't get mad at me."

She gave me a little smirk and I smiled back, glad I wouldn't get in trouble for speaking the truth, at least the way I see it.

"I'm not so sure I love the word prostitute, either.", she said.

"How about hooker?", I teased.

"My father is usually so calm.", Bella said, "He's seen a lot and he doesn't often get too…emotional."

"This is different.", I pointed out, "This is you now. You're his only daughter. I know exactly how he feels. If I were him, and you were Katie…I'd have beat my ass beyond recognition!"

Bella shook her head and let a little smile grow on her lips.

"Charlie is like you.", I went on, "He wants to help people. At first, when you wanted to get my shirt off, I hated that. Charlie would see. But then, when he did see…I could tell he cared. Like me or not, he is still a good cop. He wants to protect the weak…and rid the world of the bad. It's great that you're going to be a doctor, a psychiatrist. You can reach people and help them before they fill up your father's jails. You can prevent horrible crimes from happening at all."

"I never looked at it that way before.", Bella brightened a bit and I was happy I was the one to make that happen.

"And you're not weak.", Bella added, "And my father does like you, too. Even though he might not show it right away. He realized, as we told him more, you're both single fathers trying to do the best for your daughters. I bet my Dad would do the same for me if he were in your shoes."

"Yea, but you saw his first reaction to me.", I reminded, "This is what I told you before. He wanted to hurt me. He hated me. That's everyone's initial reaction to someone like me. That is why whores don't get help."

Bella sighed loudly and said, "He is helping you!"

"Because he loves YOU.", I stated, not wanting to start a fight with her.

"Are you sure about that?", she looked a little angry now.

"Bella…", I looked at her until she made eye contact with me again, "He loves you. He's just upset now. He'll forgive you. I promise."

She stared down at her notebook, not talking.

"The proof of that is, he's helping us.", I spoke softer now, "Frankly, it gives me hope to have two Swans on my side. Not that the first wasn't enough…I just feel…twice as protected now."

She smiled at that and I wanted to talk more about the thing that was gnawing at my mind and heart…always…it was almost crippling me, this never fading, inevitable Monday.

"But Bella…", I made my face turn serious now, "We both have to prepare ourselves for what may come. I very well may have to go back…your father even said so."

"No.", she again, didn't want to face it, "I'll make my Dad arrest you before I let you go back."

That thought almost made me laugh. Not a bad idea…

"On what charge?", I grinned, "Prostitutes who get arrested get out as soon as the bail can be posted. Cops don't even care enough about us to hold us for a whole day. And then Victoria punishes me for seven days instead of six."

"Jaywalking, then.", Bella huffed, "Excessive hotness…fucking on fire escapes, whatever!!"

"If fucking you on fire escapes is a crime, then let me be guilty.", I mocked the old Obsession commercials and I snickered, hoping she got the joke.

She half smiled and gave a little laugh.

"Your father would have to have something real on me to arrest me here.", I informed, "This isn't his town. Tell me you'll be brave if I have to go back. Just say it, at least."

"I will be brave if you have to go back.", she said blankly, staring at her book.

"Liar.", I smiled, shaking my head a couple times.

She threw her notebook down and her head fell in her hands, little whimpers were coming out of her.

In seconds, I was holding her, kneeling on the floor as she clung to me, crying into the crook of my neck while I stroked her hair.

"It may take a little longer than a couple days to get me out of there.", I said quietly, "Your father might need more time. I can hold on and wait. I'd wait forever for you."

"I can't…", she wept, "I can't let you go back to all that pain alone…"

"You're so strong, Bella.", I repeated, reminding her, "You've made me strong. I'll be alright. So will you."

Fate hates me, I wanted to tell her. She never lets me have what I love. She waves it around in front of me, dangling it over my nose as I try to leap up and catch it in my teeth, having no chance of capturing it. Maybe she, too, is a wicked dominatrix who enjoys toying with me.

Maybe Bella will be better off not being fate's carrot, tempting and teasing me.

"I wish you could just forget me once I'm gone.", I admitted, and as I said the words the thought of it made my blood freeze in my veins.

"Too late.", she said as I stroked the tears off her right cheek, "We're chained together now. If you bleed, I bleed."

"Bella…", I breathed, closing my eyes, "You are one crazy bitch."

This made both of us laugh and we held tight to each other. Things were getting way too depressing and sad these last couple of days. I wanted to forget all this for awhile…but my off switch wasn't working all that well lately. I used to be able to turn my sadness off and go to work. Bella had messed up my switches. And I was both glad and angry about it.

I am going to be a useless whore when I go back. How can I seduce a strange woman now? I don't even want to play student/teacher with _Bella_, how can I perform for strangers? I am so screwed when Victoria finds out about this.

I almost felt compelled to tell Bella now about Victoria. It's not right her father helping us without him at least knowing. I don't want to remember it. But I never forget it. Bella would probably not be scared away by my story, but I would be putting her in such a great danger…her father, too. And what if he suspects I'm involved in it somehow? It would be my word against Victoria's…if I go to jail now, Katie will be screwed. Not to mention, I would be raped maybe twice a day there.

I would call Bella's father if I could be sure the phones weren't being monitored by Victoria or one of her guys.

I'll have to sneak away soon and talk to Charlie. He needs to know. It could be the way out for me. But if something goes wrong, Victoria could still have someone get to Katie and hurt her – not to mention Ben and Angela. I had to think about this a little more. I trust Charlie, but even a good cop can be bound by the law – without a lot of proof, they'd have to release Victoria…and then she'd be coming back for me…and everyone I love.

"Let's get out of here.", I suggested, hitting the stop button on the recorder, "Let's have some fun. I'm supposed to entertain you, not have you crying all the time."

She didn't argue with me but smiled and looked up as I stood on my feet, scanning all the possibilities.

Finally, I decided on a great one. I haven't done it for a long time and I'm sure she would love it, too.

She was dressed perfectly for my idea tonight. Thin, short sleeved shirt, jeans, sneakers…she may need to bring a light jacket, though.

I snatched her away from her apartment and in no time, she was sitting on my lap on the train, asking me where I was taking her.

"Can't tell you.", I just said, driving her insane, loving it.

My hard on was poking her in the ass minutes into the train ride and I winced, wishing my dick would just take a vacation for once.

Without a word, or obvious movements, Bella's ass began to grind lightly against my raging, restrained cock.

I could only see the back of her head as she kept torturing me, getting her revenge for our first train ride, I was certain. The way I drove her into a frenzy and then just grabbed her hand and ran off the train at our stop.

So slowly she moved her hips, rubbing my cock back and forth as I tried to repress a groan I really wanted to voice.

I bet she's smiling right now, the little bitch! My evil side was fuming, suffering.

And this train ride would be long…at least 45 minutes. Shit.

After a couple more minutes of her subtle torture, I growled low in my chest, "Bella!"

She giggled, stopping. This didn't help either. Now I wanted her friction rubbing against the bulge in my jeans. I was aching without it.

Think of something else…yea, that's a good idea. Katherine came to my mind suddenly, teaching me how to knead dough for freshly baked bread.

"No, Edward, don't punch it like that.", she smiled, always patient with me, "Take your hands like this…and fold it over and press down gently…you don't have to hurt it."

I was an angry kid back then. It felt good to punch it…Katherine understood me…knowing my reasons for being so frustrated…and gave me some better things to do with my hands besides punch. God, I miss her. Maybe if things do get resolved with Carlisle and Esme, I can see her and Joseph again. That would be great.

I felt relaxed and smiled, looking out the window of the train, the sun still shining but beginning to lower in the city sky.

And Bella started rubbing her ass on my cock again. At first I laughed to myself and said, sorry, Bella, I killed Frankencock, you won't be playing with him during this trip…but then, like some horrible lab experiment gone wrong, Frankencock rose again…he would never truly die. DAMMIT!!

"Nooo…", I breathed, hearing Bella let out a small, throaty laugh.

She kept stopping and starting…needless to say, by the time we got to our stop I was hornier than a sailor at sea for the last seven years…but I couldn't make her get off my lap. It felt right having her there. I love how perfectly we fit together.

When we got off the train, for a minute I had to walk a little hunched over, feeling like an eighty year old man as Bella laughed with glee at my predicament.

Oh, Bella…laugh now…but revenge is a dish best served cold.

I was feeling less…engorged when we arrived at the dock, a bright yellow boat awaiting us, full of people, tourists mostly.

The words "New York Sunset Taxi" were written in royal blue against the school bus yellow paint and Bella looked at me, raising a brow.

"Have you ever done this before?", I asked, seeming I was always asking her this question.

"No, what is this?", she asked as I paid the man on deck for our tickets.

We were standing on deck when I filled her in.

"This is a sunset cruise, a three hour ride that shows us all over New York.", I informed, hoping she liked boats and wasn't prone to sea sickness.

"Cool!", she looked around on board and saw lots of white lawn type chairs.

"You like boats?", I asked as she went and grabbed us two seats near the side of the boat, so we could see everything.

"Did I not tell you about Charlie and me fishing every summer of my life?", she looked at me as if to say, "DUH".

"Oh, yea, sorry, I forgot about that for a second.", I felt bad for not remembering that myself.

"You're lucky you're so pretty.", she teased me, and I laughed with her on that one. I didn't often hear that compliment from women.

I remembered the first compliment she paid me, in the private room, Awaken, when she said, "Your eyes are so green. They're pretty."

I think I first loved her right then. Only Bella would notice my eyes at that moment in time.

I laid my head on her shoulder for a second before the boat started its engine and then kissed it, straightening back up and looking over the side, watching the water lapping at the side of the taxi.

Bella took my hand and laced my fingers into hers and in minutes, the boat began to fire up and we began to move, both of us smiling like giant nerds at each other, excited to begin our journey.

The sun was glorious and the breezes were cool and welcome as we left the dock and land behind us. I put on my sunglasses and I got a sexy smirk from Bella at that. She seemed not to prefer sunglasses so I didn't feel too bad that I had them and she didn't. She looked so cute squinting and holding her hands over her eyes so she could see better while our tour guide stepped up, standing on deck, near the back of the ship, microphone in hand, introducing himself.

He was a tall, burly African American man with a bald head and mustache. He wore a white visor, turned backwards on his head, shorts, and a white t-shirt that said, 'I love New York.' – the word love represented with a red heart.

I would not want to have to fight him but as soon as he spoke, I liked him. He was funny…and knew his stuff.

We saw Battery Park City, the Empire State building, Center for the Performing Arts…Mr. Lee was our guide's name and he was great. Every once in awhile, he'd try to interact with people and finally he was near us and yelled out, "Everybody okay, here? Is everybody understanding me?"

Hardly anyone spoke up, except me, not very shy.

"YEA!!", I half turned to him, smiling, making Bella turn bright pink as she curled her arms around mine.

"Come on, people, one guy answers!!", he yelled, "Not good, guys, come on, have some fun here!!"

Some people yelled out then, clapping and going "WOOOOO!!!!"

"Screw you guys, I'll talk to my bro, over here," he sat next to me in an empty chair beside me and smiled, "You're the only person who understands me, so, where you from, man?"

He put the microphone to me and I laughed for a second, saying, "I live _here_."

"Aww, cool, loving your city, that's beautiful!", he slapped me on the back, "And who is this fine little woman on your arm?"

"This is Bella, she's mine.", I joked, "Don't be trying to steal my girl away, Mr. Lee."

"No, man, no…it's not like that, I promise.", he smiled, and a few people laughed at our exchange, "You're a cool guy, what's your name?"

"Edward.", I answered.

He extended his hand to me and I almost went to shake it but then he made his hand into a fist and punched my fist in friendship.

"Nice to have you on board, Edward.", he said, standing up, "Thanks."

"Thank _you_.", I smiled, hearing Bella giggling into my arm as he left us, going to interrogate some other passengers now.

"See?", Bella smiled at me, "Mr. Lee loves you. You can't be all that bad."

"He has the hots for YOU.", I grinned back at her, "You fine little woman."

As Mr. Lee traveled around the boat, he found people from Texas, the Ukraine, Canada, Japan. I smiled, liking the thought that at least on vacations, people could all get together and have fun.

We passed the Staten Island Ferry and Mr. Lee told us that the one beautiful thing about it is, it's free. And, he said, "In life, you have to appreciate and take advantage of free things. The best things in life are free."

I'm glad my sunglasses were on. I'm sure my eyes would've conveyed my thoughts in response to that and I didn't want to bring Bella down anymore. The next couple of days would have to be spent laughing and kissing…and making love. It's all we have left. I'm greedy for more memories with her…happy ones, not sad or worried ones.

Finally, we were coming upon the Statue of Liberty and the sun was almost down. The most beautiful colors slashed across the skies behind the statue…golds, reds, purples, oranges…and blackness above it all, slowly taking over and descending upon the colors of the dieing day. Twilight.

For some reason this time of day always saddens me inside…another day without Katie…or Tanya…another night my daughter would go to bed without feeling my kiss goodnight. Another day I wasn't doing my job and being her father, just as Carlisle and Esme treated me. I hate myself.

Today I was nearly punched in the face and I smiled, recalling that. Charlie is a good father, he loves Bella so much, that's why he got so angry with me. I'm glad Bella has him. And he didn't abandon her, even with her terrible confessions today. She's blessed to have a father like that. I'm jealous. Today was good. I actually find myself hoping…dreaming like a fool that Charlie will perform some miracle in the next two days and I'll never have to look at Victoria's face or hear her voice again…let alone feeling her touch.

And even if I do have to go back, I still feel good that I made some wonderful, true friends during this brief time out of Fire. I feel like I could face anything now, with no reservations and no regrets.

I'm sad to see today end. It was a great day, for the most part. The only thorn in it was that Bella suffered in it. She's smiling now and watching the sky with me, standing up against the rails of the ship, in front of me, wrapped up in my arms, shielded from the oncoming night wind.

We didn't talk, we didn't need to. I just laid my face against her hair and squeezed my arms around her hips as she leaned her head back on my chest, completely relaxed.

The guide had finished his segment and now, all there was to do was watch as the beauty of the night was born before our eyes.

I thought of Katie…wondering what she was doing now. Wondering what she had for dinner tonight and what movie she was watching before bedtime. I thought of Katherine and Joseph, and pictured them doing the dishes together, as they sometimes did, just to hang out and talk to each other. She washed and he dried. I usually was doing my homework at the table nearby while they quietly spoke and tried not to disturb me. And if I ever had any questions, I got the benefit of both of their intelligent minds…and the dishes always waited until I was back on track again.

I even thought of my parents…and felt bad that I pictured them at their fancy Waldorf dinner table, eating in silence as usual. I wonder if they're talking about me now. I wonder what they're saying. And then I'm afraid to wonder.

Fire is already open now…and Emmett is working…Jasper, too. Is it wrong that I feel a little homesick for them? They have been my family for years now…and that place…I had never loved it there but I did have _some_ happy times there…I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I felt like I belonged there a couple weeks ago…I was okay with being there…wasn't I? I didn't feel like a prisoner until Bella opened my eyes. Now that I've seen what I really am, I hate it. How can I ever return to it now? How can I keep fucking strange women for payment now?

The buildings all looked black now in the dark, the golden and orange lights sprinkled all over them. The water was dark and reflected the New York skyline like a mirror below it, the sky above a dark lavender array of clouds above it.

"New York looks so beautiful this way, doesn't it?", I thought aloud.

"Absolutely.", Bella looked as hypnotized by it as I was.

"Bella?", I kept my eyes on the buildings and the skies above them.

"What, Edward?"

"I'm tired of being afraid all the time.", I heard a strong voice rising up in me suddenly, not really aware of where it was coming from, but loving it nonetheless, "I'm tired of dreaming that someday I'll be locked in a cage and Victoria will stride up and casually tell me my daughter is dead because I didn't obey an order quite right. I'm tired of thinking about leaving you. I'm tired of being a whore. I'm not doing it anymore. I'm done with it…all of it."

Bella turned to me, as if she didn't believe I was the one speaking these words. Her eyes wore tears and she stared at me, stunned.

"Edward, what's come over you?", she asked in a breathy voice, "You're so…you seem so different…what are you saying?"

"I need to see your father as soon as we dock, Bella.", I said, my mind on a mission now, not willing to be deterred, "There's something else I need to tell him. Do you know where he's staying?"

"Yes.", she blinked, wondering why the sudden change in me. I wasn't quite sure myself, except, maybe, after all Bella's help and her father taking a chance and helping me…and after what he said about my daughter…I know he's right.

If I keep dancing with the devil, I will burn and so will Katie. And it will be my fault. If I truly want her safe, I must completely disconnect from these people…this life. I've cried sorry tears for myself for far too long now. Like Bella said, I'm a father. I have to get up and join Bella and Charlie in this fight if I want to be free…and I do want it, more than ever. I can't lie back and be carried up this mountain. I must scrape my nails and get dirty…and climb out. I'm done with telling people like Bella I can't be reached or saved.

It's been my own fault I'm in this god damned hole. I have to take my head out of my ass and get myself out. My daughter wants me. She needs me. And I need her. I've been without her for too fucking long. I want her back. I want my life back. And I'm going to get it back even if it kills me. I'd rather die than sit still any longer.

I think these thoughts are old ones, things I've known and told myself all along. But part of me…that hurting, sad part of me was too broken to hear it. So, over the years, my strength did get buried. But now, I really believe, thanks to Bella's belief in me and Charlie's words…I think I've scratched the surface of those feelings…I think I've found my power again…at last.

When we docked, I was hurrying to the train, Bella beaming at me and running along with me, holding my hand as I got the number of the Waldorf thru information.

"What're you doing now?", she asked, spellbound by me.

"Calling my parents.", I smiled at her, whispering, "Watch this. Watch what you've done to me."

When I got rung into my parents' room, I amazed myself, even as Carlisle answered the phone.

"Hello?", he said with a small voice.

I summoned up all my courage and made my voice hard.

"Carlisle, this is Edward Cullen.", I said, making myself sound as formal as their fucking note to me, "I cordially invite you and Mrs. Cullen back to Bella's house first thing in the morning - EARLY. Bring your account information. You owe my daughter a lot of money. I'll hear what you have to say but don't expect forgiveness or hugs or kisses, either. That's all going to take a lot of time. And if you're serious about caring for me, you'll do the time. I don't need you but my daughter might appreciate having her paternal grandparents visit from time to time. You owe her that, too."

Bella's mouth fell open as she watched me smile at her, winking.

Carlisle only stuttered and replied, "Yes. Alright, Edward. Anything you want. We'll be there. But why did you—"

"No questions.", I frowned for real as I cut him off, "That's all I wanted to say."

And I hung up the phone before he could utter another sound.

I felt a huge smile explode across my face as Bella's lips did the same. She was clinging to my shirt and blinked a few more tears.

"Edward!!", she looked at me with a whole new expression, "What the hell happened to you?"

"Did I do something wrong?", I raised a brow, waiting.

"God, NO!", she threw her arms around me, trembling as I held her, too, "That was fucking magnificent!! I didn't know you had it in you!! I should expose you to the sea air more often!"

"It's not the sea air, Bella.", I looked into her eyes, "It's you. You brought me to this place. You helped me find ME again. I'm done being the weak…and I'm done being the victim – poor, little, sad Edward. That wouldn't make Katie proud. That won't get me home to her again. I can't get mad at my parents for not being there when I'm doing the same thing to Katie now. I need to get home to her. And that means changing myself…changing my life. I have two more days. I can't waste them."

"God, Edward, I love you!", she kissed me hard and broke away, adding, "I LOVE YOU THIS WAY!!"

"I'm only just beginning.", I kissed her even harder as she squealed into my mouth, "You ain't seen nothing yet!"

The train finally opened and we were walking off, on our way to Charlie's hotel. I had something big to confess and I hoped he'd still want to help me out after I'd made it. I think he will. He is a cop. Cops don't shy away from something as ugly as murder. Even if he doesn't help me, I'll still execute my escape some other way. But no matter what happens, I am now devoting myself to getting back to Katie and repairing our relationship while there's still time. It's not too late. But soon, it may be. So this is me, Edward Cullen, preparing my resignation letter to Victoria Spears. I quit, bitch. You don't own me anymore. You never did.

And if you think you're gonna scare me into staying under your thumb, think again. I'm gonna fuck _you_ for a change. I'm gonna bring you down if it takes me a year!

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

See next chapter soon!

So, what did you think of Edward's strong side coming out finally? He had a bit of an epiphany there. A major breakthrough. Only now things will start to get very dangerous for him and his buds. Hold on everyone!! Pick out a buddy so none of us get lost now!! LOL!!

Let me know what you think!!

Love

WinndSinger


	25. The Best Medicine

25

EPOV

"Victoria is not just a girl pimp or a club owner.", I was saying in the dim light of Charlie's hotel room as both he and Bella stared back at me, "She's insane. She kills."

Charlie had been prepared to hear my story and was holding a pen and his notebook, but he didn't write. He kept looking at me and I didn't look away this time. I needed him to see I was telling the truth – in my eyes.

"You saw her kill someone, Edward?", he asked, showing no reaction in his face.

"Yes.", I swallowed, knowing I was going to have to tell the story. Emmett was the only other person I had ever told. And that was after it happened…I hadn't spoken of it since then…but it was never out of my mind.

"I'm not sure exactly why she did it.", I began, "Maybe he saw something he shouldn't have seen, or he was given to her by one of her family to dispose of…I don't know that part of it. But I can tell you what I saw."

Charlie gave a nod and was writing something but I guessed that he was ready for me to proceed.

"It was shortly after I had come to belong to Victoria. After the whole blood ritual thing…", I said, trying to go back to that night in my mind so I wouldn't forget a single detail….as I told the story out loud.

I was still not trusted to be free around the club at that point. Victoria didn't fully have me in my slave mindset yet. I was mouthy, I argued with her at times, I wanted the freedom to be able to visit my daughter from time to time, and Tanya's grave, which wasn't allowed.

I never tried to get away, but I was still in training. I was sitting in the dungeon below Fire, in my cage, that was just like the vampire cage above I would someday work in.

Naked, as usual, I wasn't hurt or scarred that night, just hungry. I was waiting for Victoria, hoping she'd bring me something to eat. That day had been all about learning my positions, what commands she would speak to make me do those positions, and how to speak to her with the right tone of respect…and how to restrain myself from speaking or even shouting out in pain until I was given permission to do so.

Mentally, I was drained and I had not eaten all day. She said I had not earned it yet. I had been alone in the brightly lit room for about two hours when I heard her coming back.

Only, she wasn't alone. I heard a man's muffled, pleading voice coming before I saw either of them, but the voice was very terrified and very distressed.

Victoria dragged this teenage boy in, he could've been about 18 or 19 years old. He was handsome, golden blonde hair and tan skin, he looked like a typical California type boy. He was naked and wore a leash and collar around his neck, and his wrists were handcuffed behind him. He came in on his knees, half dragged in by Victoria, and his face was wet with tears, his body a little wet with perspiration.

He didn't look hurt or bleeding anywhere, but something had him shaking and almost sobbing as they silently eyed me in my own little prison.

For a horrible moment, I thought she was going to make me suck this boy's cock or make me fuck him…or have him fuck me, against both our wills…I hate now to think that my first thought was for myself back then, but I was not used to the pain in the beginning, I still did not have her vow that I didn't have to perform with men yet. I was not totally broken at that point. But that was soon to change.

I had almost spoken to her, but remembered my hours of training that day and didn't speak until I was allowed to do so.

"Kneel.", Victoria demanded me as I sat on my bare ass in the cage.

I wordlessly rose up and knelt, making sure I was straight and placed my hands behind my back as she taught me, holding my head up, eyes downward.

"Very good boy.", Victoria gave me a shred of praise after a long day.

The boy bound and gagged with lots of silver duct tape wrapped around his entire head, several times around, looked at me with a desperation…his breath short and panting as he tried to somehow communicate to me with his eyes. One eye was ice blue…the other eye was green.

"I want your eyes on him.", Victoria informed me and I let my eyes raise all the way up to see the entire view of the kid.

"You might have the impression that I'm weak because I'm a woman, Edward.", she said to me, a little smirk on her painted lips, "You let me pay your debt and now you want to give me a hard time. You think you have a say in your life now. And you are resisting me and my training. Not completely…but I can see the look in your eyes when I give you an order, the frowns when I lock you into your cage. It's time you learned who's boss. And see what horrible things can happen if you don't please me and obey me as you're supposed to."

I came back to the present now, looking at Bella and then at Charlie as I took a breath, not wanting to relive every little detail of that night, but knowing I had to finally do what was right. Right is always hard.

"She took hours.", I looked at Charlie, afraid what Bella's eyes would show if I looked there, "It seemed like hours, to me. She tortured the kid. I don't mean whipped tortured. She started with his fingers and a pair of meat scissors. Without saying a thing to the kid, she began chopping off his fingertips, saying she had to remove anything that could reveal his identity, if they found his body. Later, she took his teeth, too. She _ate_ his fingertips…while he watched…and his screams were…"

I shuddered and in seconds, Bella was sitting next to me, holding her arm around me and holding my hand in hers. Charlie didn't object to this, he was taking notes, wearing a cold look on his face.

"She enjoyed it.", I informed, "That's what scared me the most, besides the god damned images I can never forget. She played with him and taunted him as she killed him. And she took her time. I kept dry heaving and gagging, if I had anything in my stomach I would've been throwing up the entire time. I begged her, screamed and cried to her to stop it…then later, when the poor kid was just chopped up everywhere and still alive, I begged her to end it. Put the kid out of his misery, at least. All she said to me was, watch and learn, Edward. Watch and learn."

"At one point, she almost made me eat one of the fingertips, when my stomach growled on the fourth finger she detached. I reacted so badly, she didn't force me to, thank God. ", I continued, "She called me weak and said I needed to see this, even if it was just once…so I'd know my place. She told me this could happen to me, my daughter, my parents…anyone I had any ties to. I couldn't say anything at that point, I was so repulsed and sick by the end of it…I just cried. I was broken then. I would agree to anything she wanted after that."

"She seemed to get off on having me watch her and the suffering we both were doing, me and the kid. She even took her clothes off near the end of it. Even after it looked like the kid died she kept carving him up. Every time I tried to look away, she'd scream at me to watch or I'd lose my eyes, too."

"She wrapped the parts in plastic and put them into a big plastic tote box." I said, cutting past all the gore and giving the details, "She unlocked my cage and forced me to stand in the bloody mess on all fours. I was shaking like a leaf and crying but she didn't care. She said she wanted to see if I learned my lesson about resisting and complaining. She painted bloody lines down my nose and on my cheeks, wrote 'slut' on my forehead…'bitch" across my back…she was laughing and playing while she decorated me with this poor kid's blood. I thought I'd nearly lose my mind, trying to hold still while she did that. She made me lick some of the blood off the floor. She said it would make me a good pet. She said it gives strength. She licked some of it, too. She's a complete psycho. I knew it that night. Later, I suspected her family uses her or her club to hide it when they want to kill people or dispose of them. People who get in their way or could maybe be a witness to something they've done. I never even knew the kids' name."

"Did you ever see her kill anyone else besides him?", Charlie asked, taking more notes.

"No.", I answered, "After that, I did anything she said to keep her away from my daughter. She never had to show me that again."

"This was years ago.", Charlie thought aloud to himself, "Did you bury the body?"

"No, she had someone else take it away.", I replied, "I don't know if they buried it…or burned it…or what."

"No body, no proof.", Charlie frowned a little.

"There is proof.", I said, hoping this wasn't a mistake. They both looked at me and I took a breath.

"Victoria made me clean the floor that night…and to use the hose to wash myself. She was very careful to collect the bloody towels. But I found a rag while she was gone and I was cleaning. I wet that rag with some of the blood. And I hid it in the dungeon."

"Oh my God.", Bella let out a breath now, "With that, she'd go to prison for murder. Edward could testify against her."

"Hold on, Bella.", Charlie shot her a look and even I knew it wouldn't be that simple. Charlie looked at me and asked, "Are you sure it's still there?"

"I can't be 100% sure.", I admitted, "I haven't been there for the last two weeks. It was there before I left, I know that. I have to clean the equipment there and I did before I came to Bella's. I checked…it was there."

"Why didn't you tell anyone this before?", Charlie asked.

"I don't know if I can trust any police in this town, with Victoria's family what they are." I said, "I didn't want to risk my daughter. I was afraid for a long time, then, later…I didn't trust anyone enough to tell them. Not even Emmett knows I have that. At the time I did it, I hoped, maybe one day, I'd have the guts to show it to someone. I didn't want the kid to have died like that and not have there be anything to prove he'd been there. All the pain he went through…"

They didn't say anything.

"I trust _you_, Charlie.", I stated, looking right into his eyes, "I'll give it to _you_. The only thing is…I have to get it first."

Charlie looked into my face and knew what I was saying…and thinking.

"You're willing to do that, Edward?", Charlie asked gravely.

"Yes.", I said, determined, "I am."

"Wait. What?!", Bella interjected now, clearly upset by what she figured out we were talking about.

I looked at her and said, "I have to go back. For awhile. After a few days, I'll be able to walk around freely again. Victoria goes home, leaves the club for hours all the time, leaving me there alone. As soon as I get that one shot at getting that rag, I can get out of there. Emmett and I are the only other two who she lets have the key to get in the dungeon. I can go back on Monday, and if I act very nice, maybe by the weekend I can get her to release me."

"No!", Bella shouted at me, tears shining in her eyes as Charlie watched on with sadness, "NO! Dad, tell him he can't do that! Edward, you're not going back there!"

"Bella, listen to me.", I took both her hands, looking her squarely in the eyes, "Victoria trusts me. I can get in there without raising any suspicion. I live there. This is perfect. She'd never guess what I'm trying to do. She thinks I'm scared of her, still. I can act afraid of her. I'm a good actor at this shit."

"No, it's too dangerous.", she argued, "Dad, you can go to the police and have them get a search warrant or something!"

Charlie sighed and shook his head.

"NYPD won't issue a search warrant without other proof that there was a murder there.", Charlie said, "They won't care about Edward's story, because he's a who---"

Bella and I both looked at Charlie as he stopped himself and looked at us apologetically.

"Sorry.", he said and finished his sentence, "Police won't listen to Edward's story because he's a prostitute. They'll think he's just trying to hurt his pimp for some personal reason. Besides, like Edward said, we don't know the good cops from the bad cops in this city. He's right. She'll never trust an undercover cop going in there and it could take months for them to earn her trust. If we have a shot at this, Edward will have to kind of go in, gain her trust enough to get the evidence…and then run like Hell once he finds it. If we do it any other way, we risk his daughter getting hurt, not to mention ourselves."

"When does she expect you back?", Charlie asked me, taking notes again.

"Dawn, Monday morning.", I answered and heard Bella's breathing quicken, her hands clutching at her hair and then around her eyes.

I tried to comfort her, whispering, shhhh, and holding her to me, kissing her fingers as Charlie's eyes concentrated on his notebook.

"I hate this.", she yelled, "I fucking hate this."

"It'll only be a few days.", I said to her, assuring her, "I know her, I know her habits, her routines. I'm the best person to do this. No one else can get into the dungeon of that club except me. Hell, for the first couple days, I'll be in the dungeon 24/7!"

"She's going to hurt you, Edward.", Bella shouted at me.

"A little.", I admitted, "But with Victoria, it's mostly humiliation for me. She wants me to heal and look pretty body-wise so I can start working again. Believe it or not, the clients do most of the hurting on me. She is pretty soft on me. I guess because I don't usually give her any trouble. And if I come back acting super sweet to her, she might forget about the night you attacked her and forgive me faster. I know she'd demented, but, in her own twisted way, she acts like she loves me…I'm her lapdog. She only gets cruel when she thinks I'm disobeying her in some way."

"I can't hide a bug on you.", Charlie said, "I assume you're naked there most of the time."

I gave a little nod at Charlie, embarrassed to admit that to him of all people.

"You can sneak a bug in under your tongue. Once you're in the dungeon, and not being watched, you can place it somewhere so we can hear what's going on. And I can inject you with a locator chip.", Charlie thought aloud, "That way we know where you are at all times."

"Alright.", I agreed.

I hated the idea of them listening to everything I would have to say to Victoria and endure when I got back there. Would Bella be hearing this, too? I just pictured Charlie and Bella together in his car, listening to me being punished and I wanted to die. I can't let her hear that. I didn't even like just Charlie hearing it, either.

"We have a little time that I can get those things and iron out some other plans for Monday.", Charlie was writing furiously, "I won't need the NYPD, I can do this myself."

Bella was just listening, shaking and trying to be tough like her Dad. I knew we'd be having a long talk later back at her place.

"First I want to ask you some questions, though, Edward.", Charlie turned a page and gave me a stern look.

"Okay.", I waited.

"Did you participate in this murder or any other, even if you were ordered or forced to do so?", he asked, totally a cop right now.

"No.", I said right away, hoping he didn't suspect me.

"Have you helped lure or kidnap anyone into Victoria's place?", he asked further.

Bella looked up at me and her father, a shocked glare in her eyes as I responded.

"No, never.", I shook my head a couple times.

"Have you ever disposed of or helped hide any body at all?"

"No, Charlie.", I said, "I just cleaned the blood off the floor with that one kid, I swear."

After a long, hard stare at me, Charlie said, "I believe you, Edward. I'm glad. I'd hate to send you to prison, too, after all this is over. Bella would never let me hear the end of it."

Was he joking or serious? I couldn't tell. Charlie's face is very hard to read. Just like his daughter's sometimes.

"I'm just her slave – a sexual thing to her. Like a pet…a dog.", I informed, "She wouldn't have me do anything like that. There are others who do those things for her. Men I never get to see."

"Why didn't you tell _**me**_ any of this before?", Bella's voice raised a little at me, "All the therapy we had…you never said she killed anyone. You said she was a friend!"

"I cared about you, Bella. I liked you.", I said, "But I didn't really know you that well. You were a client in the beginning. I didn't trust you completely. I didn't know what you'd do. If you called the police, you'd get us all killed. I didn't want to watch YOU get chopped up!"

She looked at Charlie and he frowned at both of us.

"When Victoria pulled that knife on you in the club, I nearly had a heart attack.", I confessed, "I told Victoria that if she tried to hurt you, I'd have to stop her. That's why she wants to punish me when I go back. I defied her. She sees I care for you. She wouldn't kill you, though, in a roomful of witnesses. And she really doesn't want to kill the daughter of a police chief. But she can kill in other ways. She can make it all look like an accident. One that's not even remotely related to her."

Bella let out a sob now and was clearly crying as she grabbed my shirt and looked up at me.

"What if she finds out what you're doing?", she wept, "What if she catches you? She'll kill you like that boy!"

Charlie muttered right away that he would never let that happen, and at the same time, I was speaking to her, too.

"I won't let her catch me.", I promised, "Bella, I want to do this. I don't want to be a coward anymore. I want my daughter. I want you. This is the only way I can think of to finally get away from her."

Charlie was giving me the look now, after I said I wanted Bella. A look that said 'don't even think about it.' He may be helping me with Victoria, but that didn't mean we had his blessing as a couple.

"What about her family?", she asked, "You said they have your blood in case you try to run away. They could still do something to hurt you after she's in jail."

"Maybe I can find it while I'm there, too. But I doubt they care about me.", I tried to convince her of this, "I'm just her pet. If she goes away for murder, they'll probably get mad at her for being so sloppy and letting herself get caught. They won't want anything to do with her. They'll just be glad their own games are still going. They'll turn their back on her and let her rot. At least, that's the way it worked in Goodfellas."

Bella looked at me in shock, wondering if I was really going to entrust my life and future to a movie.

"She might give her family up to lessen her own sentence.", Charlie agreed, "They'd probably put her in a witness relocation program after her sentence was served. Maybe we'll get lucky and they'll hit her while she's in jail."

Charlie sounded so serious. Hoping that someone would kill Victoria…

"Maybe Emmett can keep an eye on you for us, too.", Bella said, "If anything goes wrong, he can call me. Or I can call him."

"I hate to involve him in this, Bella.", I sighed, rubbing the bridge of my nose with my thumb and finger, "Aren't enough of us in danger if something goes wrong? Besides, we have the bug."

Wow, this is just like Burn Notice. I've never felt so alive. I like the way it feels, plotting Victoria's downfall, with me as the quarterback.

Charlie asked me a bunch of other questions, like the layout of the club, doors and exits, locked doors and open doors. I could tell he was doing everything in his power to ensure my safety, in case something did go horribly wrong. It's possible. I promised to do my best and to be very careful.

Then, Charlie had me describe the boy's face to him…and to my amazement, Charlie was sketching the face as I tried to give more detail. Even Bella was amazed, not aware he could do this and draw so well. Charlie gave a little smile, unable to hide the fact that he was proud of himself for impressing us further with his skills.

In awhile, I was looking at a great drawing of the kid's face I had seen that night.

Charlie said he could fax the sketch to Forks and have his men do a search on it for missing people in the New York area and see if anything came up.

I again warned Charlie about going to the club and poking around there, but he just smirked at me and said this wasn't his first day on the job. He could get information without going near the club or the police departments here. He never said how he was going to do it, only for me to do my part and let him do his job.

On the way home, Bella just kept giving me the look. She almost tried to talk me out of this plan, but I kindly told her that my mind was already made up. Charlie had given me a different look as we left his hotel earlier. I may have imagined it, but I could've sworn I saw respect in his eyes. I couldn't and wouldn't change my mind. On Monday, I'd have to go back to her anyway. At least this way, I had a plan of escape and backup. Even Charlie agreed this was the best way to go. Dangerous, yes…but what isn't dangerous in my world at this point?

I tried to change the subject.

"My parents will be coming over tomorrow.", I reminded, my arms around her, "I don't know what they're going to say, but I have to be ready for anything. I want to shut my feelings off…but I don't know if I can do that anymore. I don't want to care, but I do. I can't let them see they're hurting me. I have to be like stone."

"That's not the answer, Edward.", Bella said, looking up at me, softening a bit now that we weren't talking about Victoria, "It's okay to show that you hurt…and care. But you can't let it take you over. You can't let it break you. Don't make the mistake now, because you've found your strength, that you have to be made of steel all the time now. Be strong. And tender. You can be both. Don't lose your vulnerable side, your heart. I love your heart so much, it's so full and sweet. Balance, Edward. Everything right in life is balanced. Don't become cruel just because you can now."

I had to smile at her. How does she always know the exact right thing to say?

"Yes, Bella.", I used my good pet reply, knowing that would drive her crazy.

"Shut up with that.", she tapped my arm, "You're no toy anymore."

"Not even an educational toy?", I smiled more, trying to lean in and get her lips.

"No.", she pouted a little.

"How about an action figure?", I kept playing, making another unsuccessful try at her mouth as she yanked away.

"That remains to be seen.", she turned her back to me, crossing her arms.

I pouted and snuck my face down until my lips were right behind her ear, "I'd be happy to be your favorite doll…laying on your bed…waiting for you to come and hold me…a big stupid smile sewn across my face."

She spun around and held me tight, breathing her hot breath into my neck, tickling it a little as I inhaled strawberry in her hair, unable to suppress my big, goofy smile just being allowed to have contact with her again after a long while.

Later, back at her apartment, I held my favorite and only nightshirt and smiled, remembering the first night Bella put it on me as I felt so confused, wondering if she was tired of having sex with me already. I really didn't know what she was up to that night. Now I do. She turned me into a man, when once I was a shadow. How do you thank someone for such a miracle?

"Bella?", I smiled over at her as she came into the bedroom, wearing her pajamas, a t-shirt and cotton shorts.

"Did you forget how to dress yourself again?", she smiled.

"I didn't forget.", I half-frowned, "I was just remembering when you gave me this."

She smiled more and kissed my lips softly, making the hair on my arms stand up on end.

I held it up to her and asked, "Can you put it on me again?"

"I'm glad cute Edward is still around.", she took the shirt and put the collar of it over my head, repeating her past words, not exactly the same, but enough.

"I know I made up rule number one.", she said softly, "But I hope you know…you're more than just perfect pecks and washboard abs to me."

Then, she broke out of that speech to add more, as she helped the sleeves over my arms.

"I love you Edward.", her voice nearly cracked as she looked at my face, "I know I should be brave, but I am so scared. If anything happens to you, I don't know if I can…."

She let a little sob erupt from her mouth and I cupped her little face in both my hands, making her look up at me.

"Nothing is going to happen.", I vowed, wishing my intense stare would make her believe it, "Except Victoria going to prison. And when every thing's over, I'll be back for you. Nothing will stop me from coming back to you. I won't let it. I won't rest until you're safe again. One last time, I'll have to pretend to be her slave. I do it for you…and Katie. Finally, I'll be doing it for a good reason. Bella, you are my strength now. You are my _life_ now. You once told me to do what I wanted and not ask permission, not to ask if it's alright all the time. I have to do that now. I hate that I have to go against YOU the very first time I try this, but you taught me that. Please…just believe in me. Trust me. I will be back. God, I sound like Arnold Schwarzzeneger."

She laughed and kissed me and I felt my eyes close, loving her touch so badly. Every time she kissed me or touched me, it felt better than the last time.

"I believe in you, Edward.", she whispered as she held me, "And I trust you. I will be here, waiting for you when you come back."

"I love you, Bella.", I covered her mouth with kisses now as I spoke to her, "God damn it, I love you."

"Shut up and do me already.", she commanded, biting into my neck and sucking my skin hard into her mouth.

I almost laughed, thinking maybe we had learned a little too much from each other. I was the lovesick little girl now and she was the hungry, seductive tigress.

"Yes, Bella.", I joked, feeling her pull me down onto the bed.

(* This is for all the girls at ff and who requested this scene. Love ya!*)

"I would like to introduce you to my favorite number.", Bella breathed, "Sixty-nine."

Oh my God, the Bride of Frankencock has arisen again! And…there he goes…Dr. Frankencock is up now, too.

"You've done this before?", I smiled, surprised at my innocent little Bella. Oh, who are we kidding? She's not that innocent anymore. But that's okay. I love sexy, horny Bella.

"Ugh, stop asking me that all the time and get to work.", she was untying the knot in my pants, and shoving them down, exposing my ass to the incoming, cool May breezes from the window.

"Get to work?", I feigned aggression and shoved her down, roughly yanking her clothes off her as she gave off little whimpers. I kicked my pants off and turned her around, picking her up in my arms, upside down, my hands locked securely together around the base of her spine as she dangled upside down, her hair hiding her face as I stood, taking two steps back from the bed. She let out a little scream and her bent legs were on both sides of my head, and before she could say another word, my tongue was circling furiously inside her.

If she wants 69, I'll give her 69. But it won't be all easy and fun for her. Try sucking my cock dangling upside down, Dr. Bella.

"Get to work.", I ordered her, taking a firm bite inside her as she screeched out, her hands holding my back for support, quickly traveling downward and digging her fingers into my ass.

She tried to locate my cock and I almost laughed as she tried to deal with her current position.

"Now, Bella, or I might just drop you.", I vocally pushed her to take me into her mouth, smiling to myself at how evil I could be when properly inspired.

With a little throaty breath, she found me at last and I felt a hot, wet, tight mouth enclose around me.

"Let me introduce you to MY favorite number.", I corrected and plunged my tongue deep into her throbbing little pussy lips, hearing her give a muffled cry as she worked her head back and forth over my penis, quickly getting the swing of it now…a fast learner.

I'll bet she never did 69 this way before. I was devouring her…tasting her juices and wanting more and more…it wasn't long before I was ravaging every inch of the tender flesh before me. At the same time, I was growling and trying to keep in control while Bella delivered perhaps the best blow job I had ever experienced. I guess being upside down works for her. It definitely works for me.

Her tongue kept wrapping around my head and tensing around my shaft and then she'd release me just when I couldn't take it anymore and lap up the sides and move her tight mouth up and down over me completely, the wetness sloppy and thick…and un-fucking-believeable!! Her sucking sounds pushed me even closer to the edge as I threw myself completely into giving her the best licking of her life in return.

I even walked us into the living room so I could maybe hold out a little longer before I came…but that didn't help so I walked us back into the bedroom again. This seemed to thrill and scare Bella at the same time and her screams of desire just increased more when I moved around a little.

My dirty little girl…my upside down love whore. Is there nothing she wouldn't let me do to her? Would I never hear the words lo mein from Bella's lips? God, I love her.

She was coming now…screaming and tensing around my tongue. I gave it an extra little wiggle at the tip of it and that made her howl out like a coyote. I couldn't hold my orgasm much longer and almost instantly with her, I announced to Bella I was going to cum…and then I exploded…hoping she was alright with swallowing me upside down.

I laid her down on her back then, on her bed, in case she was having difficulty swallowing me. She seemed alright. No choking or coughing going on. I wouldn't say it, but I was so proud of her. This is not the little girl who wouldn't even look at my penis that first night. What a beautiful goddess. I was glad that I had a part in waking this one for the first time.

I knew I wanted Bella all for myself…and that I would fight for her so she could be in my life after I freed myself from Victoria…but a small, little piece of me wondered …thought that there might be other men enjoying her someday…experiencing all the beautiful and unspoken things that were Bella Swan. And I was jealous of them. I didn't want to share her.

I was staring down at her face, that was laying on the bed right below my sated, soft cock.

"Oh my God.", Bella sighed, looking up at me with a big smile on her face.

"Thought we'd be laying on the bed, did we, Miss Get to Work?", I chuckled, slowly moving my finger from the tip of her cute little nose…up towards her forehead.

"I didn't even think of doing it that way.", she marveled at me like I was David Copperfield, "That was…oh my God!"

"I agree.", I got down on my knees closer to her, kissing her lips upside down, tasting her tongue…my fingers playing in her long raven tresses.

We kissed and made out for a long time. My hands couldn't get enough of her perky, full breasts and I enjoyed pinching her nipples and hearing her react to the delightful little pains she experienced as she licked my nipples and kissed and bit anything she could reach on my chest.

"Again.", I finally growled, crawling on top of her body, kissing my lips down her torso, moving towards my delicious destination.

I held my body off hers with my hands against the mattress as she moaned, finding my very hard cock again and licking it good this time before taking him into her lips.

I gave a hard groan, feeling how extra sensitive Frankencock was right now as I began to take small, little licks of the musky folds of flesh below me, teasing her as she teased me simultaneously. I blew cool air onto her wet little pink clit, hearing her give a low scream of pleasured torment.

I couldn't help but smile like a fiend at that. I put my top lip to her clit and breathed out hot air…and closed my lips together after heating the quivering little bud. She forgot my cock altogether for a second or two, bellowing out her cries from under my body.

We were both going to cum fast this round…and I think we both knew it.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

BPOV

Today is Saturday, Day 13

I didn't want to wake up this early, but Edward had ordered his parents to make sure to get here as soon as they could. I asked him why and he said it would do them some good, waking up early, setting their alarm clock, having to bend to his schedule for a change.

We had a quick, small breakfast of toast and milk and I wondered if I should make his parents something to eat and he scoffed and forbid me to fix them anything.

"They never cooked a meal for _me_.", he said, his cold, stern mask in place as he got dressed.

I couldn't blame him for feeling this way, and I'd rather have him strong and cool than weeping and weak when they came to see him…but I didn't like seeing him act cruel. I wanted to say something, but I wasn't sure how to express it to him.

My inner Dr. Bella told me it was right for him to show his anger. I had taught him to unbottle it…and he was now. I should just let him react any way he wanted to and be there to help him through it all.

"In my dream, when my parents came to see me," Edward said as we got dressed, "I got all dolled up, kept changing clothes, and when they came in, I was paralyzed with fear, frozen, up against the wall, staring out the window."

He scowled at the memory of himself and shook his head, putting on his regular jeans and a comfortable gray t-shirt that hugged his curves very nicely.

"I'm not doing that this time.", he muttered, almost to himself, "I'm running this meeting."

"Alright, Edward." I was almost afraid of him suddenly, "I won't interfere."

"No, Bella, I'm not talking about YOU.", his smile was back suddenly and his hard exterior vanished. I felt so relieved. He came to me and took my hands and kissed my knuckles, "Without you, I'd have never had the guts to see them at all. Remember when we met, I said I'd rather be stuck with needles than talk to them?"

"Yes.", I peeked up at him from under my lashes.

"Well, I still feel the same way.", he admitted, "But I won't let them push me around. I will finally say the things…I've never been able to say before."

"I'm so proud of you, Edward.", I beamed back at him, "Look at you now."

"It's still a little hard for me…acting this way…", he said, his vulnerable eyes shining back into mine, "But I like it. It feels right. And I love the way you look at me when I'm…like this. I feel like a _man_. I haven't felt that way…in a very long time."

I held him close and felt his lips on my temple when a knock tapped on the door.

Edward tensed a bit and I looked up into his face, silently saying goodbye to his soft green eyes…watching stern, calm, darker green eyes emerge in their place.

"It's time.", he breathed, taking a deeper breath. His hand squeezed mine and he kissed it again, letting go and moving on his own to the door…a lion's walk.

He snatched the door open quickly and startled the handsome couple on the other side of the threshold. I couldn't see his expression very well but his voice spoke volumes…he only said, "Inside."

He pushed the door open and allowed them to come in. Already they looked flustered and uncomfortable, although right out of the pages of GQ and Vogue. Stylish clothes, perfect faces, perfect hair, perfect makeup…I felt underdressed when they came in and gave me a nervous grin.

The door slammed behind them and the woman, his mother, gasped and her head spun behind her towards her son.

"Before you sit down," his voice was ice, and so were his eyes as he looked at them, "We have some business to take care of first. You brought your checkbook and account information I hope."

"Yes.", Carlisle looked confusedly at his son as Edward crossed his arms, like a mighty King looking at a peasant.

"Write a check to Bella Swan for forty thousand dollars.", Edward demanded with no emotion.

I felt my mouth fall open but Edward gave me a look that meant – 'don't say a word'. And even more shocking, his father was DOING it! Without even asking why or what it was for. It must be nice to be rich. Although, it didn't look like it made any of the Cullens very happy.

Carlisle tore the check out of his book and handed it to Edward, not saying a thing. Edward handed it to me and smiled a bit, saying to his parents, "That was for two weeks of excellent therapy, which you caused me to need in the first place. You got off cheap. She's worth so much more. Sit."

Without thinking about it, I began to hurry over and sit down before Edward got angry with _me_…when I saw his eyes I felt better. He smirked at me, silently assuring me I was not the one he was barking orders to.

Before I could focus, Carlisle and Esme Cullen were sitting next to me on the sofa and Edward took his seat in the chair across them, the picture of confidance, dark green eyes…anger. But controlled and chilly in his demeanor.

"Don't put your checkbook away just yet, Carlisle.", Edward said to his father, "Now a little test for you. Write a check to your granddaughter. A check for all the surgeries she's going to need in the next ten years of her life. You're a doctor, surely you know the prices. I want to see how much you really do care. I want to see if your heart is really as huge as your bank account. Write."

This Edward is brilliant…but also very scary. I'm glad he's on my side.

Carlisle sighed and began to write.

"If you sigh again…", Edward's cold eyes pierced into his father, "I'll break your jaw. If you feel I'm bothering you or causing you a little discomfort, then imagine how your granddaughter has felt all these years, let alone me. You have no idea what pain we've all been through. You don't have the fucking right or privilege to DARE sigh. Write the check."

Esme shot Carlisle a look of stern reproach as Carlisle silently went back to writing the check. I didn't dare try to peek but then Carlisle tore it out and handed it to his son. I almost couldn't breathe as Edward looked at it, not showing any reaction in his expression.

"That will take care of hospital bills, surgeries, medicine….and college, too.", Carlisle spoke very softly, "And also…for anything else she may need – clothes, a car…"

"You pass.", Edward gave it a single fold in half and tucked it into his t-shirt pocket, "You came here to say something to me. Say it."

Oh my Lord, Edward was impressing the Hell out of me. He was even making eye contact with his father now. I know I should've felt glad about getting my money back plus twenty thousand more, and Katie's needs were going to be met, finally, by the Cullens. I wanted to get up and dance…but all that faded into the background of Edward's new strength and courage. I want to kiss him so badly.

"You may still break my jaw after we talk, but, I'm prepared for that.", Carlisle put his checkbook on the coffee table.

"First of all, you should know…", Carlisle began, looking at his folded hands, "I'm not your biological father."

At this, we all looked at Esme Cullen.

She straightened a bit and cleared her throat.

"Edward…", she could hardly make eye contact with her son now, "When your father and I got married, we wanted a lot of children. We were very much in love and your father was already a doctor, working in the ER. For years, we tried to have a baby but it wasn't working. Your father did a test of both himself and me…and we found out that I was fine…but Carlisle…could not have children. He claims he never knew this before we married."

That last sentence had a lot of tension in it and it did not go unnoticed by Carlisle.

"I didn't know, Esme, for the millionth time!", Carlisle sneered, then tried to soften his tone and glare.

"Anyway…", Esme continued, "Carlisle suggested other options. But I didn't want some other man's baby, I wanted his. After a long time, I figured I just had to accept it. That we wouldn't have our own natural children together. I began to think about adoption…but that depressed me too. I don't know why. I was young and stupid…selfish, wanting everything perfect and my way. I see now how senseless my attitude was. I should've just…been more flexible…more open to the other possibilities."

She cleared her throat and looked at Edward. But his eyes were looking back at her with a fierce gaze that even spooked me, sitting beside her. Esme took a deep breath and went on.

We were having a party one night, at our house. Some retirement thing for a doctor Carlisle worked with. I was so depressed that whole day. I had been working with the children at the hospital that afternoon, I volunteered there from time to time. I loved it. Somehow, it made me feel better, being around them, taking care of them. I wasn't a nurse but I could get them a pillow, help them eat their food, play board games with them, read them stories. I was not in the mood that night for a big party, playing hostess to over 100 people. But I played the part of the dutiful doctor's wife, pretending to be happy and refined, charming every one of them."

This reminds me of Edward's acting while he is servicing the women at Fire. Hmm. Interesting.

"I was more drunk than I care to admit.", Esme looked at her fingernails, sighing, "I had been drinking a lot since I found out there'd be no children for us. I was already an alcoholic. But I was never drunk around the children. That much I made sure of."

"I went to one of the bedrooms upstairs to lay down.", Esme said, "It was dark and I was so dizzy and tired. I don't know how much time had passed, but…there was a man in the room with me all of a sudden…he was on the bed with me…he was kissing me and…started to take off my clothes."

Edward looked at her, his face unchanged. Carlisle was staring at his wedding ring, then his shoes, this obviously bothered him a great deal but he didn't want to show it.

Then it seemed to me that Edward's cold stare was exactly like Carlisle's. Is he imitating his father now?

"At first,", Esme bravely spoke again, "I didn't stop him. I didn't know if it was a dream or reality. The room was dark but I could see parts of his face now and then, somehow. I could see he was very handsome…and he smelled so good. And…his kiss was wonderful. I was letting him touch me and I was nearly naked when Carlisle's face came to my mind. And just like that, I knew it was no dream. It was real. And he was unzipping his pants."

"I started to try to get up then," Esme said, her fists clenched as she remembered, "I said 'NO' and I tried to push him off me. I fought back, I did! But he was so strong…and rough then. He put his hand over my mouth and…he…took me."

"I told Carlisle what happened.", Esme glanced over to her husband with a deadly eye, "But he cared more about accusing any of his precious doctor associates than getting the man who raped me."

Carlisle's carefully folded hands clenched now and he jerked his head up at Esme.

"That's NOT what I was thinking ABOUT!", Carlisle tried to keep his voice civil through his gritted, white teeth, "You were BOMBED!! You couldn't even tell me what the man LOOKED like! Only that he was handsome and a great kisser!! I couldn't call the police! I'd have been a laughingstock and God knows what would've happened to my career, my reputation, if I went around accusing anyone with only the tale of my depressed, drunk wife as proof! Our lawyer told you, we didn't have a leg to stand on! And you said yourself, you let him undress and kiss you…there was no way to send someone to jail for rape! You _let_ him have you. You didn't fight him off. Why can't you just admit the truth? You cheated on me."

"I DID NOT!!', she screamed, tears in her eyes. Carlisle didn't speak again.

Edward looked at Carlisle and I thought I saw a pang of disgust there for a minute. But Edward still said nothing and just watched them.

"Shut up, Carlisle.", Esme sniffed, "This is my story, not yours."

Carlisle stopped talking and Esme said, "You see the support I got from my loving husband. So I tried to forget it ever happened. But I kept drinking. Carlisle was gone all the time, working nights in the ER. I was so afraid, sleeping alone every night after what had happened. I kept dreaming he'd come back. I was losing my mind. I sunk deeper and deeper into alcohol."

"A couple months later, I found out I was pregnant. Carlisle said that no one knew he couldn't have children. We would just say it was our child. That it would be alright. I had wanted so badly to have a child. Edward…I'm sorry, but at the time…I didn't want to have you. I didn't want that man's child. I was afraid of him…I hated him. He attacked me. I didn't want to have the baby. But Carlisle said I couldn't have an abortion. He wouldn't allow it. He said it was murder."

"It would've killed you inside to do that, Esme.", Carlisle closed his eyes and sneered the words, "You wanted a baby so much…and you got your wish. You wouldn't have been able to live with yourself if you killed Edward. I took you to therapy. I tried to get you some help. Don't make me out to be the villain here."

"Therapy, out of town.", Esme scoffed, "Not with any decent doctors that might have known him or any of his fellow doctor friends. Social workers you took me to. Rehab. Mental institutions."

"You drank all the TIME!", Carlisle shouted, "It's a miracle Edward was born healthy with the crap you kept pouring down your throat."

"Maybe _you_ should've helped me instead of shipping me out from place to place, like a prisoner, until I was a good, clean little girl ready to come home and play house for you!", Esme defended.

"Can you please calm down?", Carlisle asked her, "You're talking to your son and his friend. Have a little dignity, please."

"Shut up.", Edward said suddenly, still calm and bold as a mountain, glaring at Carlisle.

"What?", Carlisle looked stunned.

"I said shut up.", Edward frowned at his father, "Let her say whatever she has to say. Stop telling her what to do all the time. You've always ordered her around. It's not going to happen to her here. She can say what she likes and any way she wants to say it. And when I let you, you'll have your say. But for now, shut up."

"Fine.", Carlisle looked frustrated and angry but he closed his mouth then.

"Thank you.", Esme said to Edward.

"Don't thank me," Edward shot her the same icy look, "You still have a lot to explain. Keep going."

"None of the places Carlisle sent me to really helped.", Esme said, "Nothing erased that night out of my mind. See, I wasn't allowed to tell anyone that I was attacked, so how could they help me? I almost told people. But I was afraid that if I did, I would be alone with a baby, and no way to support it. I had no other family to take care of me, I only had Carlisle. I hated it…but I needed him financially…and even after all that happened, I felt I still loved him and maybe things would work when the baby was born."

"It didn't.", Esme said after a little pause, "You were a beautiful baby, Edward, and so happy, healthy, too. I was in a very dark place then, Edward. A horrible part of me, almost wished all my drinking had hurt you…maybe I'd fall and have a miscarriage or…there'd be some complication during the delivery. Once I even stood at the top of a staircase, willing myself to fall down it so you'd never be born. It was nothing against you, Edward. It was the man who had me that night. That's what made me feel that way. I know that now, but then…I blamed you. I hated you for not being Carlisle's son. I hated that you were the son of the stranger that attacked me. I couldn't bond with you like I should have. I didn't want to hold you or see you."

I looked at Edward and his eyes looked down a bit, but he was being so brave and strong, even in the face of this terrible story – and his own mother saying these things to him. I wanted to hit her myself just hearing her say the words. But then I tried to put myself in her place…could I love the baby of someone who raped me? It's a very difficult question to face.

"Katherine…", Esme said, tears in her eyes, "Was a lovely woman in her thirties who worked for us. I liked her a lot. She was warm and down to earth…and she had a baby boy once…long ago. But he died when he was a year old, he had a seizure in his sleep. I asked her if she would take full charge of you. She agreed, of course. Sometimes, I'd hear her singing to you, rocking you to sleep. I once peeked in your nursery and you both looked so happy with each other. I saw that she loved you…and you loved her. So I let it be that way. I avoided you all the time. I was still drinking…and had started to graduate to drugs. I would steal Carlisle's prescription pad and write scripts for myself, getting anything I wanted. It was easy."

"Carlisle was never around, either.", Esme said, "I hoped he would at least try to be your father if I couldn't be your mother, but he was always working. He'd do a shift all night then find other things to do all day out of the house. For years, we didn't speak to each other, and we let the staff raise you without us."

"I have feelings, too, Esme.", Carlisle frowned, "I tried to bond with you, too, Edward. But every time I saw you, it killed me that you weren't mine. That I couldn't have children of my own. And I'd wonder if Esme was really attacked, or if she just cheated on me. You didn't look like me and you had green eyes. No one on my side or Esme's has green eyes. It was just a reminder…I had fallen out of love with Esme and she didn't love me anymore, either. I felt nothing but guilt, anger and sadness whenever I tried to spend time with you, Edward. I'm sorry. I know none of this is your fault. We both know that now."

A little late for that, I thought to myself. If only this family had gotten some therapy together, the right way, by a good doctor, I thought, maybe they'd be alright now. And none of this needed to happen.

"We stayed together as you grew up.", Carlisle stated, "I'm not even sure why we didn't get divorced."

"Because the whole story would come out and Carlisle didn't want everyone talking, that's why.", Esme said.

"No, that's not the whole reason.", Carlisle said, "I thought if Esme and I got divorced, she'd blow all her half of the money on drugs and kill herself one day. Overdose. I kept trying to start over with her, get her help. Try this or that rehab clinic. I began taking her on these trips, all over the world, to places I thought could help her. Places where the story, if she told it, wouldn't get back to our town. Maybe I was stupid for that, but it was a nice little community we lived in. I wanted to keep our name good and respectable. I worked too hard to be looked at like some…"

He stopped and took a breath.

"Trash?", Esme finished his sentence, "He's always looked down on me because I wasn't rich when he married me. All the money was _his_. He'd always remind me I had nothing. And if I left, I'd have nothing again…I'd be nothing. Those threats kept me Mrs. Cullen. Any love we had for each other was dead, I thought. But he kept trying to help me. He didn't divorce me so I stayed with him. I wasn't happy, but…I was secure…and safe. I still feared that man who raped me that night. He never went away, even after years and years went by. Once in awhile, I did try to see you, Edward, and play with you. On holidays, Christmases and your birthdays, I was there. And I did try to hold you and kiss you. But I could never feel your love…or make you feel mine. And, I also saw…that you loved Katherine like she was your mother. She was, really. I didn't think it was fair of me to pretend to be your mother when she was the one really doing the job, loving you like you were her son. You really were hers, Edward. Love made you mother and son. I was glad you had it with her. I knew I couldn't give that to you."

"Tell me about the night I brought Tanya over.", was all Edward said in response to all this.

"I will let Carlisle tell that story.", Esme shot Carlisle a look, "Tell it, Carlisle."

"As you got older and went away to high school, things looked like they might be getting…a little better.", Carlisle informed, "Your mother found a doctor she liked and she had stopped doing drugs. She hardly drank at all. She was not cured, but…she was looking and feeling better. She had been away for months at a time, she was getting treatment in California. I was alone all the time. I hadn't been with a woman…for years. Esme and I were married in name only at that time."

"I met a woman at the hospital.", Carlisle cleared his throat, "I thought she was in college. She was volunteering with the little sick children, teaching them to paint. She looked so much like Esme when she was younger. And she was so good with the children. She reminded me of her. Only she was very happy and laughed all the time. She glowed. I tried to stay away from her but I always found myself in the area when she was there."

"I used to 'bump' into her 'accidentally' after she'd finish with the kids. She always grabbed dinner at the hospital cafeteria. I pretended I was there, having dinner too, alone. We started to have dinners together three times a week. We were friends, nothing more. But, soon…we were very attracted to each other. We flirted, we started to hold hands at the table…I finally asked her for a date. I never told her I was married. And I told her my name was Carlisle Bonham. She was young and never questioned that. We both knew it wasn't a normal date we were going on. I booked a very beautiful suite at a fine hotel and she met me there one night. We made love. Afterwards, she told me she wasn't a college student. She was a senior in high school. She told me I was her first. And she told me she was in love with me."

"I panicked.", Carlisle said, "I cared about her. I loved her, too. But I couldn't marry her or have everyone know I was dating a high school girl. I was hoping that Esme would be better soon and we could work on our marriage once she was totally sober and clean. And what if this girl was thinking of blackmailing me or something? What if she got pregnant? I didn't want to lose everything. I left in the night after she fell asleep. I moved my shift to nights again and never tried to see that girl again. I thought I'd forget her…in time. A long time passed."

"I thought of her all the time, but never expected to see her again.", Carlisle looked up at Edward, "But I did. When you brought her over that night for dinner."

Edward's eyes turned lethal now but he stayed in his chair and I noticed his body tense. His fists clenched.

"I don't think she realized that you were my son until she saw me when you came in.", Carlisle was staring at his shoes as he spoke, "She looked surprised to me but I think my reaction to her was the one everyone noticed. I couldn't hide my panic and shock as well as she did."

"I couldn't look at her, Edward.", Carlisle admitted, "I knew that night as I was looking at her and hearing her voice, that I still loved her. And your mother was there at the table…and you looked so in love with her, too. I had to leave the table. And I was jealous of you, Edward. So jealous and angry I couldn't see straight. So I threatened you, not really knowing you very well, with taking the money away from you if you kept seeing her. I was a bastard. I kept your mother by using that threat. I thought it would work on you, too."

"But Katherine and Joseph raised you well.", Carlisle said, "You didn't listen to me and you chose Tanya. Before I knew what I was doing, I was calling your school and canceling everything I'd given you. I was filled with hate and wanted to hurt you. I thought, I treated you like my son and gave you the best of everything…even though you weren't mine. Even though you were the son of a man who probably had an affair with Esme. It wasn't logical and I know that…but I struck out at you hard for having Tanya. I still wanted her. And I didn't want to see her with you, or even know that she was with you."

"Esme fought with me and was screaming at me, asking why I was doing this to you. She said she wouldn't let me. She said we owed you a chance to have a good life. I was half drunk at the time, and I accused her again of loving your real father, saying she never loved me…after all I'd done for you both. I told her she made the whole rape thing up, she had an affair. I called you a bastard and your mother lunged at me. I spun around and hit her. I told her she didn't love you, either. And this was the way it was going to be. I told her you were gone – you weren't coming back and she should be glad I cut you out. Seeing you was too painful for her anyway. I told her for your own good, to leave you alone. That we should both leave you alone from now on. Let you live your life without us. We were never your parents, really. Esme never mentioned you or that night again. She went back to California and I saw her once in awhile. We just passed each other now and then in the house, not saying much to each other. We tried to forget you…and each other, hoping that would ease the pain."

"I tried to keep tabs on you, to make sure you and Tanya were alright.", Carlisle said, "I lost track of you for awhile after you left, but then I heard you and Tanya were married. I went nuts all over again. I still wasn't over her, I'd hoped maybe you would break up, or that she would call me or write me, trying to explain. But she didn't. Until after you were married."

Edward's eyes glinted with wickedness at his father now.

"She wrote to you?", his voice seethed.

Carlise nodded. "She said that she was in love with _you_. She wanted _you_ and not me. She told me off for canceling your college and putting you through years of Hell. She said she hated me now and didn't want me near any of you again. She told me she was pregnant with your child and she was happy about it. She said she would make you happy, she would send you back to college someday and make things right. She did love _you_, Edward. I could see that just from the passion of her letter. But I was still in love with her. I was so angry at her but I still wanted her."

"Thinking of you married to her and a baby on the way killed me.", Carlisle confessed, "I kept thinking of ways to win her back and then I felt sick for even thinking that way. I don't know why I couldn't just forget her. Time didn't lessen what I felt for her. It was like she had some kind of hold on me that never went away. I began to slip into using drugs. I'd take it from the hospital and no one ever found out. I didn't care about medicine anymore…I never heard from your mother anymore that much. I began to even question my reason for living. I wanted to die."

"When the baby was born, I found out about it, and found out you named her Kaitlyn. I noticed that was very close to Katherine, the name. Anyway, I spent more years battling the drug addiction. I hardly practiced medicine at all during those years. I didn't even care what anyone thought anymore. And then I heard about Tanya's death. I heard about what happened to Kaitlyn. I was still on drugs at the time. I was broken hearted, knowing Tanya died hating me, that she loved you. And now I'd never get a chance to see her again. I was filled with rage at you. I blamed you. I was jealous of you."

"Later on, when you came to the house with Kaitlyn, I was high. Esme was at the house that night, also very drunk. I had told her what happened to you and that killed any progress she had been making. She went downhill fast as all the guilt and fear came flooding back to her. We were both very screwed up. When you came, knocking and begging for our help with your daughter, I wasn't myself. I was still raging and hating you. I still wanted Tanya. I wouldn't let Esme help you, I forbid her from doing anything for you or your child. I told her to get rid of you or she would be cut off too. Esme was an addict. Her drugs and alcohol meant more to her than any person at the time. She chose them over you and your daughter. She told you we couldn't help you and closed the door in your face."

Esme was quietly crying, not denying Carlisle's words, she couldn't look Edward in the face now.

There was a long silence and I doubted Edward could handle all this. But his face was still stone as he looked at them both.

I almost said something but didn't.

Edward leapt up to his feet and turned his back to us, leaning his hands on the kitchen counter and taking deep breaths, trying to deal with all they'd just said. I feared at one point he was crying but I didn't interfere yet. If he needed me, I would be there. I had to let him handle this, his way.

Finally, Edward spoke in a very low, almost unhearable voice.

"You _never_ loved me.", he said, not in a callous way, but almost, sadly…as if he had the answer to a question he'd always had in his head, he said it almost…to himself.

His parents didn't say anything. They looked at each other without words.

"No.", Esme told the truth, crying, "We didn't. And for that, I am truly sorry. We did everything wrong. And even though it hurt you, I'm glad we weren't a big part of your life, Edward. You were raised with love. You're a good man. You're better off without us. We didn't want to tell you these horrible things. Another reason we never reached out to you. But we did want to explain things, as hard as the truth is. We owe you at least that. Be glad we didn't love you. We would've screwed you up, too."

"Your mother and I…are still married but we're not really a couple anymore.", Carlisle said, "We have been in therapy together and separately for years now. After the last time we saw you and your daughter, after we realized how we turned you away when you needed us the most, we decided to do whatever we had to, to get better. To be better, for you. We know you don't want us or need us in your life now, Edward. It's too late and too much has happened between us in the past. You may never forgive us. And we're not asking you to."

"But we will always provide anything you need, for Kaitlyn.", Esme added, "If you don't want us around her, we'll understand that, too."

Edward was silent and his eyes looked very aged and tired suddenly as he looked at me. I was so afraid he was holding it all inside and not letting it out. Then I was afraid he'd let it all out and I wouldn't be able to save his parent's lives.

"All my life I wondered what I did…what I said…that made you both hate me so much you were never around.", he said in a low voice, "But now…that I know your whole story…you know it doesn't even matter. The person I was a couple weeks ago, would've been destroyed to find out his father was his wife's first time and that he loved her but not me. I would've been devastated to hear my mother say the words, 'no, we never loved you.' It would have killed me and I would've let it shove me deeper down into my own Hell. But I've cried too long over things that I have no control over. I can't cry any more tears for you. I can't even hate you. And hearing you say you never loved me doesn't really hurt me because…I never loved _you_. I never knew you. You were shadows in my life. I was dreaming of having you, my perfect parents…and I didn't even realize that I already had the perfect parents. Katherine, Joseph…I know you somehow kept them from contacting me. That ends now. I will call them in a couple weeks and I will see them, whenever I choose. I don't want to see either of you there while I'm visiting them."

Edward paused and said, "I'm not banishing you from my life. You were never in it to begin with. I have my own life to correct and my own daughter to raise now. I can't carry the weight of you two anymore. It's broken my back all my life. So I'm letting you go. I hope you find your way. But I can't let my hate destroy me inside. Katie needs me and I'm not about to make the same mistakes you did. "

"I'm going to be there. Everyday. I'm going to give her all the love I can and then some. I have to make her see that her Daddy loves her. I have to make her happy. And I can't do that if I'm hating you every minute. So, even though I would love to kick your ass, Carlisle, for what you did to your wife…and mine…I won't. Even though I would love to hate you, Esme, for never being my mother, and for loving money and drugs more than you ever loved me, I won't."

"You're not worth it. And it just makes me see that Tanya did truly love _me_. I was being as cruel to her as you were being to Esme…I was following your pattern, even if my blood isn't your blood. You were still poison in my veins. My hate for both of you was killing Tanya before the fire even happened. And it would've destroyed my daughter, too, eventually. I'm not letting you kill us anymore. So, you're not _dead _to me…you're just…_nothing_ to me now."

They both stared at Edward, not knowing what to say. I didn't really know what to say either, except that Edward was amazingly intelligent and utterly forgiving, as always.

He didn't say it right out, but in his heart, he was forgiving them for all of it. He wasn't going to hug or kiss them, or even have them as part of his life, but he didn't need to. In his heart, he let them go and all the pain they brought with them. He was right, too about Katie. He could never be a good father for her while carrying all this crap around inside him. He dropped it all in one big thud at his parent's feet. And he was going to walk away, free, to find his way back to Katie now.

Part of me thought maybe he should scream and yell and punch Carlisle…but what good would that do anyone, even him? I think he knew they didn't love him all his life, he just didn't know the reasons why.

Edward waited for a minute or two and his parents didn't move or speak, either. Finally, Edward opened my notebook and tore a blank page out, writing something.

He folded it once and took a deep breath, walking over and extending the paper to Carlisle.

"This is Ben's address and phone number.", he said, still full of hurt but calm and controlled, "This is where your granddaughter lives. If you want to make anything up to me, do it by loving her. Even if it's only a phone call or a birthday card, a visit once a year. This is where you can start to show Tanya how much you really care, and me. You can go now."

"But, Edward…", Carlisle took the paper.

"GO now!", Edward's voice raged out loud now, full of fire and losing control fast, "Before I do something. GET OUT!"

Edward turned his back to us again, staring down at the counter, waiting for them to leave. He was trying hard to restrain himself and be strong. I knew his shouting at his parents to leave was only because he didn't trust himself to hold out this tough exterior much longer.

"Alright, Edward.", Carlisle helped Esme to her feet and they quickly made their way to the door, opening it and slowly going out.

Esme said one brief thing before they left.

"Thank you, for seeing us, Edward.", she wiped her eyes, ruining her eye makeup, sniffing, "You're very brave. Sorry."

The door closed and they were gone. God, I hated them. Sorry. I wanted to chase Esme out in the hall and punch her nose.

Edward let out a strangled groan and was panting, his forehead on the counter, his fists in his eyes.

I went to him right away, putting my arms around him and stroking his hair, not wanting to lecture him right now or try to be Dr. Bella. I just loved him, hoping it was enough.

He let out this lion roar, his fist punching the counter several times, as if he were hitting them.

What could I say to make this better? Maybe I needed James now. This was a lot to deal with. I think I'm in way over my head here.

"Edward…", I said once he had quieted a bit, "I know all this is the most terrible thing you've ever been through. Worse than Raven, even. I can't even imagine what you must be feeling. I don't think I'm good enough to help you now. Maybe we should call my professor to help you."

"No, Bella, YOU.", his voice was cracking a bit, and it sounded like he was crying.

He stood up, not afraid to show me the tears on his face as he clung to me, almost painfully, saying, "I just want you. Please. I need YOU. You're my doctor. I don't want anyone else. Please, Bella? Don't…"

"Alright, Edward, alright.", I assured him. I hated hearing him nearly beg me to keep being his doctor, as if I would abandon him now, "I'm here for you always. I'll be your doctor. It's alright."

He let out a very relieved breath and I heard him give off a couple of low sobs, burying his face in my hair.

"For what it's worth…", I stroked his back, "You were completely perfect in the way you handled them. I've never been so impressed by anyone before. I don't know how you handled that as well as you did…but I'm so fucking proud of you."

"You did this to me, Bella.", his voice sounded a little calmer now, his hot breath on my jugular vein, "You taught me how to face them. You're one amazing woman…and doctor."

I think he was giving me way too much credit. I might have helped him over these last couple weeks, but the truth is, Edward is the one who took control and who battled the fear and hurt to have some closure on this horrible chapter of his life. He would not just be okay now…it would take a very long time to accept all his parents had to say, let alone deal with it. But I believed that Edward would be able to do it now. He wasn't weak at all anymore. He has a reason to fight…and he's finally woken up to it. He's ready to live again.

"When I first met you, I took you to the Awaken room.", Edward stroked my face and looked down into my eyes, "I thought you were naïve and sweet and that was the room for you. Little did I know…it was _you_ who'd wake _me_ up."

"Sweetheart…", I heard myself whisper, wiping his tears with my fingers, "I'm glad you're crying. It's good. Let it out."

"I feel so tired.", Edward breathed, letting another tear fall down his right cheek, "In my bones, I feel exhausted."

"Come on.", I moved backwards, taking his hands and brining him with me, "Let's lay down. I'll hold you and we can talk. How's that sound?"

He gave me a weak smile, liking this idea, and there was nothing sexual in his eyes, either. I truly wanted to just hold him and talk things out. To be Dr. Bella, only cradling him and stroking him while he healed and shared his pain with me.

"Wonderful.", he said back with a fragile voice, then added, "Love _**is**_ the best medicine for a broken heart."

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See next chapter soon!

Love

WinndSinger

So, how was that? Better than the vampire twist? Like what could be worse, right?

Carlisle and Esme are so screwed up in this story. Sorry about that. I do love them in the books and movies.

How do you think Edward handled them? What do you think of Edward going back to Victoria to destroy her? Let me know!!

PS – The boy who died at Victoria's hands…you'll see later who he was. He was important to one of the characters. Hint, hint.

See you soon!


	26. This is Not the End

26

Notes: One question that a couple people have asked me, is: If Carlisle and Esme didn't really love Edward all that much, why would they pay him all that money?

Well, while we all know Carlisle and Esme were very screwed up parents, I think, now that they are sober, and getting therapy, they do realize all their mistakes and that Edward was innocent in all this. They know at this point, they can't give him love or fix all the people they've hurt, but they do have money, and they can give that. Guilt is very powerful and hard to escape. They both knew they had to make things right with Edward, or at least try to, for their own peace of mind, if they want to really try to heal and have a real life now.

Also, Carlisle said he loved Tanya. And, as Edward said, if he really loved Tanya, then he can do something for Katie, who is a living, breathing part of Tanya. I think Edward saw that C & E are doing better now, and so he allowed them a chance to salvage themselves by offering them the chance to show their love to Katie. If they were still drug addicts or hateful people, he'd never let them near her. But I think they do really want to make some kind of amends, and if it's too late to love Edward, it's still not too late to be good grandparents to Katie.

Maybe, over time, if they do show that they are loving grandparents, Edward might even be friendly with them again someday. It won't be a big, loving family type of love, but maybe, in time, Edward can even have them come over on Thanksgivings and Christmases and have a nice time with them around. Of course, Katherine and Joseph will be there, too.

C & E did a lot of screwed up things and they hurt Edward a lot, but in the beginning, they weren't evil people. They just let a lot of crap ruin a nice family they could've been. Looking at it from the other side, Katherine got the chance to have a son and raise him to be a good man and loving father, and some good came out of all that pain.

I don't know if I'm going to reveal who Edward's real father is, I don't know if it's that important to the story. I don't want every character in the story to be somehow tied in to each other, that would just be too coincidental and not realistic. This man could've just been a young doctor who found Esme attractive that night…and maybe he was a little drunk, too, they fooled around a little, and things went too far. He shouldn't have forced her, and maybe he was ashamed and disgusted with himself afterwards. Maybe he left town so he wouldn't be caught and lose his career.

And yes, Edward does look a lot like the man who raped Esme, and that's why it's so hard for her to look at Edward, let alone hug or kiss him. Edward even has the man's voice, so…that's why Esme couldn't bond or find herself loving Edward.

Well, let me get back to the story! Thanks, again, for all the great reviews! Love ya!

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EPOV

I laid next to Dr. Bella, and it felt so right, even if it was inappropriate and unprofessional in the eyes of the medical world.

Unashamed, I let the tears fall down my face and her gaze never made me feel weak or pathetic. She faced me now, both of us laying on our sides, staring at each other, safe and warm in the cocoon of each other's embrace.

She never wiped my tears away and I was glad. She wanted me to cry, to feel the hurt and release it in the salty liquid water that melted from my eyes that would rather adore her than weep.

It took me a long time to process all the things my parents had said and to verbalize the most painful questions.

Without thinking, I heard myself say, "My father was a rapist."

What a family…he steals sex…and I sell it.

My eyes closed as she intensified her stare into me. Now I felt ashamed. I thought of the day I attacked Bella right here in her apartment…and how easy it had been.

"Hey.", she said, her voice stern, "Look at me, Edward."

I made my eyes open and hers were right there, waiting to pounce.

"You're not your father.", she began, starting my therapy already, "And he may have forced himself, but that doesn't make him a rapist. There are two sides to every story. Your mother said she had too much to drink. Maybe he did, too. She was kissing him in the beginning. I'm not saying that he was right or that he didn't do anything wrong…but maybe he thought she wanted him. Maybe he knew later what he did was wrong. Maybe not. No one knows. Don't do that to yourself, Edward. Even if it was rape and he knew what he was doing, that doesn't make you something less than what you are. That's HIM. You are you. A whole separate person. You were right when you said what you said to your parents. You have to let the past be the past. When I met you, you were so hidden from me. You had so many walls up around you, I never thought I'd see the real you. It still amazes me, what you've done in two weeks. I think you WANTED to break free…and that's why it was so quick when I began to try to reach you. You wanted help. And that makes you more than Carlisle, Esme, your father, all of them. Look what happened to them when they refused to be real and get help. It makes me feel good that I've chosen this profession for myself. Some people think psychiatry is stupid and useless, but I've always known it could save lives. Now I see that, proven. You have to close the door on this past. You have to walk away and leave it there. Don't let it kill you. Walk forward, towards the future. Walk to Katie. Do right there…and you've broken this cycle of sadness and pain. Don't forget it, because you can never forget your past. But learn from it. Let it make you into something better than you were before. Let it make you a better Daddy for Katie…so she can grow up and be a good Mom for her kids."

This woman has a soul that heals me, inside and out, even after all my parents had said to me. A short time ago, I'd be devastated right now. But, somehow, with her, and the way she explained things to me…I couldn't believe I was feeling hope…and strength…and a feeling of freedom.

My voice wouldn't speak but my lips had to confess again my love for her, and my appreciation for the miracles she was performing inside my mind.

I brought her hand to my mouth that I was holding, and my kiss softly rained like hot little drops over her fingertips, my closing eyes releasing two more tears…but these were not tears of pain. I couldn't say they were joyful tears, either, but I felt like something in me was gone…there was a beautiful void where once I had tons of shame piled up, and stored a large self loathing, boxes full of uncertainty and anger, and the biggest of all, a gigantic beast that gobbled up all of my self esteem and licked his fingers clean afterwards.

I didn't feel them anymore. And I cried, so relieved to be free of their hard weight. Now I have lots of space to put afternoons with Katie, and I can play the music of her little belly laughter. I have lots of room for Bella, too, shelves dedicated to her many different kisses, the images of her beautiful face and body as we became one in so many ways, all of them amazing. I have loads of room now for visits with Katherine and Joseph, I can almost hear her irish accent screaming "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!!" when I appear at her door. She will crush me and deafen me with her screams as she holds me, but I so look forward to that.

And in that moment, I truly thanked God. Yes…I do believe in you, you bastard. I have to if there is a Katie, a Bella, a Katherine in this world. So, I was wrong, alright? You are real. Maybe, if I can in some small way forgive Carlisle and Esme Cullen, I can perhaps…forgive you too. I still don't understand or agree why you'd have to rob me of my wife and Katie of her mother, but someday you will explain it all to me. Unless you've already penned my name in for Hell, and I would totally understand if you did that. But from now on, I'm going to be different. Not to save myself from an eternity of flame and torture…but so that when I go, I can look back and see some good things that I did on this earth before my time was up. Even if that one thing is Katie, grown up and happy with her own family, that's enough for me.

The only other thing bothering me now was Tanya. And I said it out loud.

"Why would Tanya not tell me?", I whispered, "Do you think she still loved Carlisle or something? Maybe she loved him more than me."

Bella kissed my nose and pondered for a moment.

"She loved you, Edward.", Bella stated without thinking twice, "She loved Katie. I just think she was carrying a lot of guilt too. Maybe she was afraid if she told you, she would lose you. She shouldn't have kept it all inside, but she loved you so much she wanted to make things right. I think she blamed herself for all your…father…I mean, Carlisle, put you through. I think she saw you weren't cruel or cold like Carlisle, but she didn't want to take a chance on losing you. The pressure got to be too much, later on, I think, for her. Things weren't working out the way she'd hoped and she felt like a failure because she couldn't send you off to college and medical school like she'd dreamed. That's why I think the lack of love making happened in the end. It wasn't you. You can't really make love to someone else when you're hurting inside and don't love yourself. Maybe at times, it did make her feel weird, being with you after she had been with your father that way. I'm just guessing. No one but her could really tell you everything."

I think Bella's right…again. Damn, that can get annoying sometimes, how she's always perfectly right. But I couldn't fault her for it right now.

"The way Carlisle was just acting, towards Esme…", I confessed, "I was acting the same way with Tanya. I accused her of not loving me, I always made insinuations that she was cheating on me. I hated it, but I saw myself in Carlisle's eyes just now. I wish I could tell Tanya how sorry I am. That I don't hate her. That I loved her."

"You just told her, Edward.", Bella kissed my hand now and I saw she had tears in her eyes, too.

"I'd never get through all this without you, Bella.", I replied, never more honest in my life, "You're more than just the woman I love. You're my lighthouse. You made me see…you show me the way…you bring me home to shore."

God, I sound like a romantic novel. But it's true. Sappy…and the most truth I had spoken in a long, long time.

"You've been in that raging ocean for too long, Mr. Cullen.", she smiled sweetly at me, "It's nice to see your feet on the ground."

God, I love you, Isabella Swan.

"I have a good idea.", she brightened suddenly as my eyes opened a bit more, drinking her in as she half-sat up, on her elbow, "Why don't you call Katherine and Joseph now?"

"Oh, I don't know…", I began, not sure if I was ready for that. What if they were mad at me or something for just leaving and not trying to call all this time? I couldn't bear it if she hung up on me or something just as awful.

"Come on, this'll be good for you. Love is the best medicine, remember?", she urged, getting up and then coming back with my cell phone, tossing it to me.

It bounced off my chest and landed on the bed beside me.

"What happened to strong Edward?", she stroked my hair as she sat next to me again.

"Alright, damn.", I pretended to frown at her, then smiled as I scrolled to Katherine's name in my contact list, "Hope the number's not changed."

I waited and felt my heart pounding at the ring sounded twice.

"Cullen Manor. May I help you?", her irish voice was so beautiful, just like I always remembered. But she sounded tired, without her energy.

"Katherine?", I grinned, "I missed the bus, can you come pick me up from school?"

I used to do this to her all the time. She would be livid and read me the riot act, telling me to be more responsible and not to hang around after school talking to my friends instead of getting my ass to the bus on time. But I still called her endlessly with this request…and she always came to get me.

She was gasping now…unable to say anything…then she was crying.

"Katherine, please…don't cry…", I felt tears in my own eyes now. I didn't admit it or realize just how much I had missed her.

"My boy…", she breathed, trying to get her voice back, "My beautiful boy…"

This was my nickname, what she always called me. I hadn't felt beautiful for years, and I felt this sudden shame and guilt about all the things I'd done in the last few years, using my 'beauty" to earn a sleazy living. But, at the moment, I couldn't hate myself or feel any guilt about that. I felt guilty for letting years go by without talking to her, for not even writing…for letting her slip out of my life.

We talked for a long time and she scolded me for walking out that night without coming to talk to her first. Her fiery spirit was back, just like that, and she was the strong, fierce mother I'd always adored.

I told her all about marrying Tanya, and went on forever about Katie. We talked as if we never spent a minute apart, crying over the sorrows of each other's lives…and laughing as we shared good memories back and forth.

Then I told her about Bella Swan. Bella smiled at me and blushed as I showered her with compliments and told Katherine how important she was to me. I said that Bella brought me back to life…and that I had found love again, when I never thought it would happen to me twice in a lifetime.

I didn't tell her about my time at Fire, or my slave life, or Victoria. It would break her heart and I couldn't do that to her again.

I kept apologizing to her, and she would only apologize in return. She said she stayed with Carlisle and Esme, only because she knew I'd call or come back someday. And as for the reason she never contacted me, that was Carlisle.

Carlisle told her I said I hated all of them and I never wanted to see any of their faces again, even the "help" he told her I'd said. As if I'd ever call her of Joseph the help. I want to go to the Waldorf and beat Carlisle's ass now.

I told her I'd never have said that, I told her she is my mother…and that I didn't say it enough, but, that I love her. I always loved her.

We cried some more, as she declared her love for me in return. It was nice to hear again, but I always knew she loved me. Her every word and gesture dripped with love for me, always, even when she got mad at me and told me off.

She scolded herself, saying she knew that was horse shit and she should've known better. "I raised you to be a good boy.", she sniffed, "I know how kind you are. I'm sorry I let myself believe such a thing."

The call had lasted for hours but I felt so fucking good, talking with her again, that I couldn't seem to say goodbye. I was afraid maybe she'd get in trouble, but then I realized Carlisle and Esme were in New York, she's at their house, she won't get caught on the phone. The boss wasn't home, so she only had to make dinner for herself and Joseph, anyway, unless there were new people working there now.

Bella laid next to me on the bed, closing her eyes, smiling, enjoying hearing me this happy after my parent's visit earlier, glad her suggestion brought more healing into my heart.

Katherine tried to locate Joseph so I could talk to him, but he was off the grounds, tending to something else. She made me give her my phone number so she could call me again. I gave her my cell, simply saying it was the best number to reach me on. I told her I wanted them back in my life, as often as possible. I want to talk to them at least three or four times a week I said, if they wouldn't get too sick of me.

"Stop talking that shit.", she said in her impudent accent, "You're my son, you better call me all the time, boy, or there'll be Hell to pay, kiddo!!"

"I know, sorry, forgot who I was talking to.", I chuckled, all traces of sad tears gone now.

It felt like the call was coming to an end…and I hated it. But I felt like I had just gotten a whole new skin – like a warrior in a video game that just drank a potion and got all his life and strength back, when he was almost ready to fall down dead a second before. Bella is right, love is a fucking medicine – a lifesaving shock to the heart. I'm just thankful that I finally had found a doctor in time and she was able to save me.

I really feel saved. It feels so good. I know I have a lot of work to do yet to free myself from Victoria, but I'm not even that scared about it, somehow. I'm already free.

"I love you, Mom.", I said with a huge smile.

With a little sob, she answered, "I love YOU, Edward, my little boy."

I snickered at that, seeing she was right on about me. In a lot of ways, I was often still a little boy. And proud of it.

"I'll call you tomorrow, okay?", I asked, "Tell Joseph to be around. Then, I may be out of town for about a week. So I'll call you a little past a week from Sunday."

I hated lying to her, but I didn't want to tell her about my upcoming week of servitude to Victoria and possibly risking my life. She'd have never let me do it, no matter how it would help my life in the long run. Katherine is stubborn, very like Bella.

"Alright, my love.", she said, sounding very different from the voice I first heard when she answered the phone. She sounded happy, relieved…alive again.

Grinning, I stroked Bella's cheek now, watching her lips curl up more at the corners.

"Talk to you soon, Mom.", I said, a bit louder than a whisper. I never wanted to say goodbye to her again, even at the end of a phone call.

"Alright, darlin'.", she replied, "Take care of you."

She said that all the time…I almost forgot.

A lump rose in my throat and I choked, "I will. You too. Talk to you tomorrow."

She sighed in contentment as she hung up. I closed my cell phone and Bella's eyes opened, like a curtain being pulled back, exposing little windows into Eden.

"Hi beautiful.", I smiled down at her, twirling a finger slowly around a nice, silky lock of her hair that now looked black against the pale blue pillow beneath it.

"Told you.", Bella said like a know it all child, "Mothers always love their sons. Always."

"You know everything.", I tickled her ribs a little with my other hand as she laughed and twitched in my clutches, and I added, "I don't like it."

"Yes you do.", she closed her eyes again, resting under me.

"Maybe I do.", I agreed without much of a fight.

I kissed her lips as if my touch might damage her if it was too harsh.

"If you don't want to go out tonight, we don't have to.", she said, misinterpreting my mood.

"Are you crazy?", I smiled, and she looked up at me in wonder, "I'm free of decades worth of pain…I have my mother back. I'm a week away from being free. I'm the major player in a police sting against Victoria…I have all kinds of things to celebrate! We're going! You just don't want to get all dressed up in girl clothes!"

She giggled and gave me the most passionate kiss. It nearly hurt my mouth but I was 110% kissing back.

"I want to celebrate, too.", she agreed, "I'll dress up."

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

EPOV

"No, we can't do this!", Bella's eyes were alive with light and shock as I held out my hand to her.

"Come on, Bella.", I flashed her my most charming smile, taking her hand and twirling her, holding her against me as her back slammed into place before my chest, "Dance with me."

"We aren't invited to this!", she whispered a yell at me as I chuckled, moving my hips behind her beautiful ass as we danced to the music. Well, I danced. Bella was resisting me again, her usual stubborn self.

"The Pretender" by the Foo Fighters was playing. I love this song !! Come on, Bella, have fun…dance with me.

"We don't have to be.", I placed a quick kiss on her lips as I put my hands on her little waist and made her dance a little, even if it was against her will.

"Edward!", she widened her eyes at me.

God, she looked so beautiful. I don't know where the dress came from, but it was a cute little black, sexy dress. Simple and elegant, showing off her long, gorgeous legs…accenting the cleavage very nicely, too. Every man here had his eyes on my girl. Look at those black high heels…DAMN.

I went out and bought a nice suit earlier, a black jacket and pants, with a burgundy shirt and black leather tie. It was elegant…but cool at the same time. Bella looked very happy with me when I emerged from her bedroom in this. The more she looked at me lately, the more confidant I seemed to feel. I love that look in her eyes when she sees me now.

I was looking at Bella's stockings now…there was a thin, black line traveling down the center and back of each leg, disappearing down into the back of her shoe. I didn't know why, but it was driving me crazy. That is super hot.

"This is a wedding, loosen up and have fun, Bella.", I whispered in her ear as I bit my bottom lip and danced, using my professional dance training now, hoping she'd be impressed by my moves as I traveled around her, and she stood there, stunned.

"We don't even know these people.", she gritted through her teeth.

"So what?", I smiled again like a boy, "There are 300 people here. Who's gonna know?"

Bella turned pink and looked around, as if the police were going to come breaking in at any moment and arrest us. I love Bella, but sometimes she can be a goody two shoes.

"I thought I taught you to be bad.", I teased, yelling over the music, "Aren't you a graduate of the Edward Cullen Institute for Bad Girls of America?! Come ON! Dance!!"

And then I added a swift slap to her ass and she screamed out, and in a few seconds, she was dancing with me. She was so adorable and shy, she told me she wasn't a great dancer, and she was embarrassed to dance to a fast song, so I took her by the hands and moved her with me, silently guiding her.

I wish I knew about this before. I could've taught her some dance moves. But I didn't care if she could dance or not. She was here with me, having fun. All is right with the world tonight.

I love wedding crashing. Especially at this place, the Merion, it's called. This place is very beautiful, lots of rooms, all elegant and luxurious. This room we were in now even had a cascading waterfall on one side of the wall. There was also a round skylight above the dance floor so if you looked up you could see the ebony blanket of sky and the diamond sparkles strewn across it.

Later, when we sat at a large, empty table, two tall glasses of champagne were brought over to us.

The room was dark and the guests were dancing. This was a nice, lively bunch of guests, not an assortment of old people glued to their chairs. The excitement and fun was so thick here, you could cut it with a knife. I was already having a great time.

And I was glad I brought Bella here for our fancy, dress up date.

"I want to make a toast.", I smiled, handing her a glass as I took mine.

She blushed deep red and looked down at the red table cloth, lifting her glass timidly, always hating to be the center of attention, even if it was just mine alone.

But there were things I needed to say.

"Bella Swan…", I said with a quiet but clear voice, "I brought you to a wedding, because, it's the beginning of things, even though this is our thirteenth day together, and seems to be almost the end."

She looked down and I tipped her chin up to me, seeing her shining eyes of sadness staring back at me.

"This is not the end, Bella.", I said, making my eyes turn seriously on her now, "I want you. I want you forever. You brought me back to life. Even with all Victoria's sick lessons, it's you who've taught me where my place is. It's you I belong to. And thanks to you, I also belong to myself. I love you, Bella Swan."

I clicked my glass to hers and smiled, taking a sip of the best champagne I ever had and peeked over at her, seeing her sipping hers, too.

"I love you, Edward.", she said, just at quietly as I had spoken.

"I know you're afraid.", I put my forehead to hers, closing my eyes, "Nothing I say will stop you from feeling that. If I were you, I'd never let me do this. But I need to do it. I need to stand up to her. I need to face her and tell her NO. Finally – No. Even if I didn't have other reasons to go back in there…I'd want to do this. I'll have to play the part for a few days before I can snoop around the club…but that's the price I'm willing to pay to end this once and for all. Please say you understand. You always understand me."

After a pause, she kissed me and said, "I understand."

"My light…", I breathed, seeing a lighthouse in my mind again. I'm sure I'm not the only one who'd be shown the way by her light. She was going to help thousands of people in her lifetime. I'm just the first. I am honored by that privilege.

I was kissing her, not even wanting air after that…and I almost forgot we were in a room filled with people when the food began to be served to us. We dined on filet mignon and lobster, along with about fifty different appetizers. I felt like I hadn't eaten for a year as I inhaled every thing they brought us. Bella just ate like a bird, looking at me and laughing to herself. I know, I eat like a pig. Sue me. I don't get nice, big meals like this very often.

We were soon joined by a really fun bunch of people at our table, then, as they ate and joked and laughed without a care in the world. They asked us, in a very friendly way, who we were related to, bride or groom. We said bride. She looked very beautiful in her modern white silk dress, her brown hair perfectly done up into a bun.

Right away, we were accepted and included into the conversation. We laughed and had lots of fun with our new friends. Bella even began to relax and giggle a little bit. I watched her intake of alcohol, she was being very good, having sodas instead of hard drinks now. The champagne was the only one she'd tried.

We had all the silly fun of a wedding reception. We did the chicken dance, we did the electric slide, the chain, we threw ourselves into the festivities and laughed like nerds through it all.

My jacket was on my chair most of the time that night and a couple times, other girls tried to get close to me and dance, but Bella was a watchdog. She eliminated any female who even looked me over from afar. But she kept her dignity and class.

I loved dancing in front of Bella. She watched me like I was the most attractive thing she'd ever laid eyes on as I moved around her. I have been ogled and grabbed, had hundreds of eyes on my cock before as I danced. But Bella's eyes made me feel special. I am special. I'm Katie's father…I'm Bella's man. I am special. And I believe it now.

When it came time for the bride to toss her bouquet, Bella sat that one out. I laughed and wondered why and she answered without me having to ask.

"My father would absolutely destroy us both if I said anything about marriage right now.", she smiled, then quickly added, "Not that I don't love you and would love to be married to you someday."

"But that's a long way off.", I finished her thought, not wanting to seem angry or upset.

She looked at me and I explained.

"There are lots of things we need to do before we reach that point, I know that.", I said, "You still have school and your career to start. I have a life to rebuild and a little girl I need to get to know all over again. Not to mention, I have to figure out what my life is going to be once I give up my illustrious career as exotic entertainer."

I laughed and she joined me, relieved I wasn't proposing to her just yet.

"We'll figure it all out, Bella.", I said, "Together. I'm not rushing you. I'm not going anywhere."

Wait. I'm not? Aren't I going to Florida after I get out of Victoria's? I can't just call Ben and say, "I want Katie, bring her to me please, thanks for taking care of her all these years, bye." I would have to live with Ben and Angela if I wanted to be part of Katie's life again. She loves them, like I love Katherine and Joseph. It's not right for me to rip her out of that home…that family. I have to join them, not take her away.

And Bella has school here. She wants her career to be here, in New York. Having never thought freedom was an option for me, I never considered all this until now. Shit. How is this going to work?

Bella's face looked a little sad to me, then, and I wondered if she were thinking the same thing as I was. Would Charlie be okay with this, was another question I was now asking myself. Our beginning isn't exactly what Dads dream of when thinking of their daughter's perfect mate. There are a lot more hurdles before us besides just Victoria.

We didn't talk for a little while, we sat and listened to the music. Bella went to the ladies' room and came back with a little grin on her face.

"What?", I asked her, wondering what she was smiling at now.

"Nothing.", she blushed, "Gosh, can't a girl even go to the bathroom?"

I squinted, suspicious already. Bella is no actress.

We spent some more time on the floor, dancing a couple slow songs, and a fast song, too. Bella liked slow better, not a huge fan of the fast dancing, unless it meant my hips were grinding against hers. She liked my version of dirty dancing.

The song we were dancing to now ended and we clapped, waiting for the next one.

The D.J. said, on his microphone, "This next one is a request – dedicated to Edward love Bella."

((*I'm not sure who's idea this was on ff, but you were right! This song is perfect! Thanks for your suggestion! Love ya!*))

She blushed deep purple as I squinted at her. She came to me and put her arms around my neck as I touched her waist, hearing the music begin to play.

The Pretenders began to play…I'll Stand By You.

"Awww…", she began, "Why you look so sad? The tears are in your eyes…Come on and come to me, now.

"Don't…be ashamed to cry. Let me see you through. Cause I've seen the dark side, too."

Tears already formed in my eyes now, hearing the words. In an instant, I was back at Dr. Bella's place, crying for the first time as she fought for the first time, to begin tapping her hammer on my walls…my prison.

I remembered laying my half naked body across her sofa, hoping she'd approve of my flesh, praying she wouldn't peek inside my head. I recalled Bella's stern, frustrated expression as I avoided her questions, giving her the story of Superman when she asked about my parents.

Bella held me tight to her and I heard her sniffle, too, remembering like I was.

"When the night falls on you…don't know what to do…nothing you confess…could make me love you less…I'll stand by you. I'll stand by you. Won't let nobody hurt you. I'll stand by you."

Like a movie, I was seeing our every moment together, from the start. God, these lyrics fit us. They're almost perfect, as if written for us.

I almost laughed at how I was in the beginning…and what I was now. I saw myself, taking off my shirt, tucking it into my jeans like an apron, making her Omelet de Eduardo for the first time as her bottom lip hit the floor. I heard myself, in the past, that day, saying, "Breathe, Bella."

"So…if you're mad – GET MAD. Don't hold it all inside, come on and talk to me, now. And hey, what you got to hide? I get angry, too. Bet I'm a lot like you."

Bella was singing along in my ear and I felt a tear fall out of my eyes, feeling so emotional suddenly, but now, not caring who sees, not hiding it or anything from Bella.

Now I was in my blindfold, being slapped by Bella as she played Victoria, shoving me to get in touch with my inner anger, and I heard myself from the past, again, screaming 'Take your fucking hands off me!!' And I remembered how good it felt to let it all out, to spew my venom and my true feelings about my owner.

I recalled kicking in her bathroom door, rescuing her from the bathroom witch that sealed her inside that day. I smiled, seeing her fall flat on her breasts, on her bedroom floor, and crawling naked to the bathroom.

Then I was in my vampire cage, stuffing her notebook down my pants as her face flew into a panic, trying to reach her mortal hands into my deadly cell. I remember asking Bella to follow me to a private room, feeling the sweat on her palm as I led her to be awakened, or so I thought at the time.

"When you're standing at the crossroads, and don't know which path to choose…let me come along.", the song played on, "Cause even if you're wrong…I'll stand by you. I'll stand by you. Won't let nobody hurt you. I'll stand by you. Take me into your darkest hour…and I'll never desert you. I'll stand by you."

Bella was singing to me…every word. I could see her in the grass, naked beneath me. I saw her laugh as we walked down the streets of New York together…I felt her skin and oil as if I were massaging her right now for the first time. I could see her in the shower, letting me wash her beautiful body. I saw her in the pouring rain in the alley behind Fire as she shouted that she loved me, her eyes full of fury. I felt her hands on my back, caring for my wounds after my night with Raven.

"You've been neglected, Bella…but I'm here now.", I heard myself saying to her that night in the shower.

I even saw her choking on coca cola at the best Chinese restaurant in New York.

"And when, when the night falls on you, baby. You're feeling all alone, wandering on your own, I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you. Won't let nobody hurt you. I'll stand by you. Take me into your darkest hour. And I'll never desert you…I'll stand by you."

"I love you, Bella.", I laid my face into her neck as we rocked slowly in each other's arms, letting the song fade as we kept dancing…still hearing it in our own hearts.

"I love you, too, Edward.", she said, looking right into my eyes as guests all around us danced. But to me the whole world was just her and I. And it was perfect. We kissed each other like it was the first time.

"I figured it was better to dedicate that to you, rather than sing it to you.", she teased later.

"Yes, thank you for that.", I joked back, earning a slap to my back.

We danced for a couple more hours and ate even more. My eyes never left Bella. There are no other women in the room for me except her now. And for me, that is saying a lot. I used to work rooms like this without even breaking a sweat. Now I can't even recognize other ladies.

Later, I had managed to sneak away from Bella and slip the D.J. a few bucks to announce me. I was sitting at the beautiful grand piano in the corner, in the dark.

"Alright, we want everyone on the dance floor now.", the D.J. announced, "This is the last slow dance of the night. Couples…get up here. This will be nice. Edward, a friend of the bride's…will play us, You Raise Me Up."

I almost grumbled at him, I wanted it to be a surprise what I would play for Bella.

Come on, fingers, don't forget your stuff. Don't fuck up.

A light was shining on me and I kinda hated that. It would make it hard for me to see Bella in the darkness.

I played, and the room was very quiet. Couples moved to the floor, slowly moving together as I smiled, glad my hands were cooperating tonight.

"When I am down, and hold my soul so weary…

When troubles come and my heart burdens me…"

I sang and no one was making any faces of disgust, so I kept going, looking up in the direction Bella and I were sitting in, at least letting her see my face, if I couldn't see hers.

"Then I am still and wait here, in the silence…

Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up so I can stand on mountains.

You raise me up to walk on stormy seas.

I am strong when I am on your shoulders.

You raise me up…to more than I can be."

"Come to me, Bella.", I said then, into the microphone as women screamed their approval out there, as I played the notes and melodies after those lines.

In half a minute, Bella was sitting beside me on the bench, tears falling down her cheeks as I leaned in and kissed her wet face, not taking my hands off the keys, and we got a little applause as I went on with the song.

"You raise me up so I can stand on mountains

You raise me up to walk on stormy seas.

I am strong when I am on your shoulders.

You raise me up to more than I can be."

Now the chorus could be sung loudly, with lots of joy, instead of softly, like before.

I belted it out, striking the piano keys without mercy.

"You raise me up so I can stand on mountains

You raise me up to walk on stormy seas.

I am strong when I am on your shoulders.

You raise me up to more than I can be."

I looked at Bella and played, singing very softly again now,

"You raise me up…to more than I….can be."

She kissed me hard after my final piano notes were played, and we got a nice, loud round of applause. I couldn't be sure, but I think I may have even blushed a little.

Thanks for the lessons, Joseph…Dad.

"You are the best singer.", Bella was saying later as we strolled home. She was holding a red rose I stole for her from one of the centerpieces, swinging it beside her like a magic wand as we enjoyed the night air, the lateness of the hour depriving the streets of many New Yorkers. I had to admit, I loved walking out this late at night. It's almost like everything is asleep. The buildings, the traffic, the noise. It's so peaceful and quiet now. I love peace and quiet. I loathe noise.

I laughed at her compliment, shaking my head and saying, "Josh Groban was probably having a seizure while I was doing that number."

Bella giggled and looked at me as the wind danced around her hair.

"No he wasn't.", she smirked, "You're great. You made me cry, you were so good. You should think about a career in music. I'd buy your record. Or…download it on itunes."

"You're a bit biased, Bella.", I smiled, "But thank you. I haven't played in so long. I was sure I'd mess up and humiliate myself."

"It's not like a bunch of half-drunk wedding guests would be able to tell if you did.", Bella replied.

"Thanks again, Bella.", I feigned insult as she laughed out loud.

"I didn't mean it that way.", she assured, "Really. You were great. You're always great."

I smiled and put my hands into my jacket pockets, taking my time as we walked home.

"So, tomorrow is Sunday." I began, not even wanting to think about tomorrow night, "And you get to pick what we do tomorrow. Anything you want."

"Hmmm…" she tried to make herself sound light about it, "I don't know. I'll have to think about that. It's our two week anniversary. It's very special."

"Every day with you is special.", I corrected, meaning every word, taking her hand in mine, almost home.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

See, I didn't end this chapter with a cliffe!! LOL

What do you think they should do on their last day together before Edward leaves?

If I get a good suggestion, I'll use it.

Love

WinndSinger


	27. Freed Eagle

27

BPOV

"UGH!!!", Edward kept shouting out as he dug his nails into the arms of Dr. Bella's favorite chair, "UGH!! FUCK!! DON'T!! STOP!! FUCKING!! ME!! UGGHHHH!!"

I think that means he likes this position. I wasn't saying anything much, just screeching, covered with sweat, my back to Edward as I bounced harder over his steel cock. My legs were aching, my knees throbbing and my body absolutely exhausted…but I couldn't stop. This was the best sex I'd ever had and I never wanted it to end. I noticed the sun starting to rise out the living room window and felt a stab of pain low in my chest.

Today is Sunday, day 14.

Edward's fingers tightened around my arms, right above the elbow, as he yanked me back and forth, the slapping of my ass on his pelvis was so hot and wet sounding…God, I think my hair is even sweating!!

I love it when Edward and I make love and it's the most precious thing in my world. But at the moment, we were fucking like grunting animals…and it was FUCKING AMAZING!!

Thumper IS his name!

His cock is hitting places in my body I didn't even know were THERE!!

_Fuck God, you're in my clutches now, little girl._

Never was a sentence more true than that one Edward had said to me early on in our time together…and remembering it was making me cum, along with the savage pants of breath coming from Edward behind me.

Take this therapy, Cullen. Dr. Bella's gonna make it all better now. God, I am one twisted Dr. bitch. I love myself this way.

I heard a little high-pitched sound from Edward and nearly laughed. But I was too busy having what felt like an asthma attack. My throat feels so dry and I can hardly swallow. That's not good, especially around this one behind me. He loves to lubricate my throat.

I felt it coming now…my chair was squeaking for mercy as I felt myself go completely over the edge, howling out and screaming like a banshee.

I love the smell of Cullen cum in the morning. Come on, Edward…give it.

"Oh FUCK!!", he was screaming out, "GOD DAMN IT!! FUCKING SWAN BITCH!!"

Okay, now I was going to laugh, but I'd do it quietly so not to embarrass him. Not that he'd hear me over his own screams of profanities. Edward loves to swear as he's cumming. I took no offense. I am a Swan bitch, after all.

I never yelled out, "Cocksucker Cullen" when I came. I wonder what he'd do if I tried that later. Tucking that note away for future reference…

He shoved himself high up inside me as he released, pulling my wrists back harder, keeping them there as he exploded, the warm wetness filling his condom inside me.

Holy shit. My legs…they're shivering. I feel like a horse waiting to be put down.

But, a smiling horse waiting to be put down.

I can hear Edward behind me, gasping for air. I hope his sweat is trapped in my chair now. I'll love smelling that every time I sit here. I can see myself getting hot, sitting here while watching The Golden Girls or something equally lame next week.

I kept swallowing, wondering where all my saliva went as Edward curled his arms around my waist now, his heaving chest at my back as he laid his cheek there, his lazy lips trying to kiss, but making more of a warm little bow upon my flesh.

I love getting it from behind. I love it soooo, soooo much!

After a long game of who can catch their breath first, Edward spoke.

"I think you're right.", he breathed, "This is the best position, the best spot in the house."

"Told you.", I swallowed, feeling a dry ache there, "You must always argue, though."

"It had to be done.", he gulped, "For the sake of science, it was best to test out every area…and every position. Now we have proven results."

I was about to reply with a grin when his fingers fisted in my wet hair and he drew my head back tight to his lips.

"Tell me you didn't enjoy that extensive research.", he dared.

"I enjoyed it.", I managed to say, "God, how I enjoyed it!"

"Being thorough is Hell.", he released my hair, pushing my head a little roughly, "But it's worth it."

His hips thrust up and he ordered, "Clean off Frankie."

What a little punk! Did he just give me an order? Men. They love to feel in charge. How cute of him. For the sake of the day, I'll humor him. But he'll get his later. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Whatever became of that little submissive man that I purchased?

I moved off his softened penis and he gave a little wince and hiss at that. Falling onto my dead knees, I turned towards him, removing the condom gingerly, placing it on the TV guide on my coffee table, right on top of President Obama's smiling face.

Oh no, that's not right. I'll move it to Mrs. Obama's face. I can't do that either. I love them. They're so cool. I opened the TV guide and found Ryan Seacrest's face. Perfect. There you go. Seacrest – out. Or should I say – in?

"What the hell are you DOING?", Edward the brat peeked over at me.

God, someone's all cranky after just having raw, sweating pig sex all night! Is this it? Does this mean the honeymoon's officially over now? Is two weeks how long it takes before a man goes from being Sawyer from Lost to Dan Conner from Roseanne?

This is the stuff they never tell you in Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks movies. Hmph.

I am so going to bite him. Purely accidentally, of course.

I licked, not a big fan of cold cum. But it's 80 degrees outside today, so I guess I can deal with it.

"Mmmmm.", Edward hummed to himself. All is happy now in Edwardville. Men are so easy sometimes. Suddenly I was reminded of a crying baby who'd just got a bottle and sighed contentedly.

Oh, I still love you, you little creep. Lucky for you. Now be nicer to me.

And here it comes.

"I love your tongue.", he said, dreamily, his eyes closed.

You're gonna adore my teeth, then.

"OW!", he jumped, "Bella…."

"Sorry.", I gasped, "Are you okay?"

"Yea.", he frowned for a second, closing his eyes again, "Just be careful. It's so sensitive now. No teeth, please."

"I'm sorry, sweetie.", I said with such a solemn tone and I kissed and licked the head so reverently, a wicked little smile on my mouth that no one would ever get to see. Only me and God…or Satan knew of our "accident."

"That's alright, Bella…", he "forgave" me, his voice back to its soft tone as his fingers played in my hair, "I love it when you hurt me."

This is fascinating to me. Do you realize if we women could figure out how to keep men this subdued all the time, we could own this world forever? Maybe we can make some kind of device to inject into their testicles when they're born…this could be a world changing idea. Is it wrong to use Edward's penis for future world domination? I bet if I asked his permission right now he'd say yes. I bet if I asked him for an island right now he'd say yes.

"Frankie is all clean and ready for his day.", I announced after I was finished.

He let out a very pleased sigh and when I looked up at him he was again, so beautiful. I love the stubble on his face. He always shaves it off but I wished he'd do the bad boy thing and leave it sometime, let his hair get longer…mmm what an image.

I noticed Edward's lash marks were starting to fade a little…pink marks now, not red anymore…and all closed up.

I kissed Edward's inner right thigh, hearing him purr again as he sank lower in my chair, not very eager to get up.

"What about me?", I raised a brow to him, wondering if I would be receiving a cleaning.

"What about you?", he teased, playing dumb.

"Mrs. Frankie might need a little freshening up, too, you know.", I grinned.

"Hmm," he stood up and lifted me to my feet, and in a second my stomach was resting on his bare shoulder. He carried me to the kitchen and took out a nice red apple for me, lifting to my mouth, saying, "Bite."

I bit into it, hearing the crackle of the skin as I ate a huge chunk of it, chewing as he bit into the same spot I'd just eaten.

"Mmmm, so good.", he commented, taking me towards the bathroom, "I want all my food to taste like Bella now."

"Rub it between my legs, then.", I dared, laughing at my racy remark as he let out a big giggle, pushing into the bathroom door.

"You naughty little thing.", he chewed, "I don't think you even want to be clean!"

Clean is so over rated. I know that now. I like being dirty. It's more fun.

He put my feet down in the shower and stood outside it, turning on the water, and instant ice cold water came shooting out over me.

"AAAAAAA!!!!!", I screamed like Marion Crane in Psycho.

Quickly, Edward tried to turn the dial, his face twisted in horror as he realized what he'd done. Hot water came out now but when I opened my eyes and looked at him, it was clear I was doing a good job at looking pissed, going by his pale, scared face staring back at me.

"I'm sorry, Bella.", he began but then burst out laughing. I tried to remain furious but he is too damn cute when he laughs. This reminds me of the day I almost went out in my robe to school. Same belly laugh, same tears in the eyes because he's laughing so hard.

God damn it, I love you, you little whore. You're _my _plaything now. No one else's.

"Get over here and service me.", I reached out, yanking his face to mine, ravishing those dark, sulking lips.

"God…yes…", he mumbled in my rough kiss.

"Fuck God, you're in my clutches now, slut!", I growled.

Edward let out a big pant of breath and he whimpered. He god damn whimpered! I think he likes this, me being in control of him, being a little mean.

I took the apple out of his hand and decided it was mine now. He had work to do.

I had him in the shower with me now and I pulled the shower door closed with a hard thud as I pushed him down, opening my legs like Wonder Woman.

"Do a good job, slut.", I demanded as the water eased my legs and knees, and I saw his smile as his face disappeared underneath me.

"Yes, Bella.", he whispered, taking a nice hard bite of my right pussy lip.

I screamed out, wincing as the hot water laughed mockingly at me.

"Oh, sorry, sweetheart. Are you OKAY?", he pretended to be super sorry as I had done to him a minute ago, and he smiled up at me, letting me in on the fact that he knew I'd taken a bite of Frankencock on purpose. Damn.

Alright, we're even now. No more biting. Unless I ask for it.

"She thinks she can act.", Edward muttered as he enjoyed his revenge, and now was getting soaked by the water, licking and stroking my warm little pussy.

He was doing so well and being so damn thorough, as usual, that I don't know why it came into my head to do what I was about to do next. Maybe I just wanted a little revenge of my own.

I took the shower nozzle out of it's holder and smirked like Lucifer, pointing the hot showers of water over his back, down his fine ass as he moaned, wordlessly thanking me for sharing the water.

Then I spun the dial all the way to the C on the right. Enjoy the cold water, baby.

Edward let out a scream that could rival that of Nathan Lane in The Birdcage and I prayed his teeth wouldn't clamp down around my sensitive, fragile flesh between my legs.

He jerked back hard, hitting the shower door with his shoulder, and the fucked up door flew out of its tracks, landing over the toilet, resting on the sink beside it.

I screamed, thinking he might have hurt himself but instead he grabbed the showerhead from me and with evil eyes, pointed it right up at my face.

I don't know how I got away, but I did and was running out of the bathroom for my life, a naked and soaking wet Cullen on my heels as I yelped and stood on the other side of the chair, the only place I could really try to hide.

He was on the other side, gritting his teeth, his hair dark and wet, hanging in his eyes, his face glorious and full of fire as he was determined to catch and possibly punish me.

I tried to psych him out and pretend I would run right…then left…then right again. He moved with me, as if we were a mirror image, he was quick and agile and I would not be getting away, no matter which way I went.

My hair was dripping wet and so were both our bodies, but we didn't care. This was war.

"You think you'll get by me?", he frowned and then let this evil Norman Bates smile grow across his face.

"I was just playing.", I breathed, "You know that, right?"

"Oh, yes,", the wicked grin was still there, "I know that, sweetie pie. It's just a game…you don't have to be scared of ME."

Oh shit. I'm dead. Note to self – don't spray Edward Cullen with ice cold water. He doesn't seem to care for it.

Where's the sweet, fragile little Edward that always asked me if it was alright with me?

"Remember, Edward, I still own you.", I pointed, desperate for any truce I could work out, "You said I rule, remember? You said anything I want, you'd do."

His eyes turned lethal on me and that smile. My flesh is afraid!

"That was then.", he said darkly, "This is now. I RULE."

Fuck!! King Edward is here and he's pissed! Run, peasants, run!! Thanks a lot, Dr. Bella!

I screamed and sprinted over the sofa to try and reach the bedroom but before I could land on my feet, he was upon me. He pounces like a cat!! DAMN! I need to start working out.

"NOOO!!!", I screamed, "NOOOO!!!!"

"God, I'm so hard right now!", he growled as he pinned my body to the floor of my bedroom, my wet nose to the wood. His arm was braced behind my neck, his stiff cock pressing into my ass as he sounded only slightly out of breath. I was going nowhere.

Congratulations, Edward. Long live Frankencock.

He breathed behind me and pulled my arms back, folding them behind me, almost painfully.

"Tits to the floor again. Bad Bella," he scolded into my ear as I awaited his wrath, "You really think you can outrun me?"

I didn't dare talk back now. I was staring at the hard wood floor, watching the water droplets land there from my long strands of hair. I can feel his wet body on mine, his hair raining a few drops of cold water over my back…his hot breath tickling the back of my neck.

"I've been too easy on you.", he gritted, "You're spoiled."

I thought maybe he'd spank me and I secretly wanted that. I wasn't even thinking of what it was he had in mind until…

His fingers dug into my ass cheeks and spread them apart…and pressing the head of his cock to the hole of my ass, he waited there and I felt my eyes widen, my mouth fall open, only hollow little sounds falling out.

"Say your words, Bella Swan.", he said seductively but dangerously, "If you dare."

I almost said them. Lo mein…lo mein…my brain was screaming at me to say it. No. Not on the last day…not after how much I've learned and grown…not now. I wasn't ready to become little prude Bella again. I'd never be her again.

"Fuck you!", I said, hoping he knew that meant I was still dirty, sexy Bella.

"No, Bella…", he stroked my hair and spoke with an angel's voice, "Fuck YOU."

And he slowly pierced his cock into my tight little hole and I let out a guttural scream. I felt tears in my eyes.

Say lo mein…say it! No!! Fuck off!

He grabbed my hair and pulled.

"Shut up.", he demanded, "Relax. I won't move. Don't tense. That's it. That's a good girl."

I cried softly, not wanting to scare him. I panted and tried to follow his instructions. He was all the way in, I think. God, it fucking hurts!

"Do you want me to stop?", he asked.

"No…no!", I breathed in then out…trying to soften my tight muscles.

His fingers were quickly stroking my clit now, rushing it to total pleasure.

I moaned, loving his touch and actually now finding his cock not so bad in there.

"That's it.", he kissed my back for a second, "Feel the pleasure…and the pain. Make them one."

Dr. Bella is in. First – Edward doesn't like to be raped. He told me that. But now that he realizes he is in control, and that he now rules, he is fucking me in the ass. Maybe he thinks I want this. Maybe he enjoys being the fuck-er instead of the fuck-ee. Maybe I was very bad and I am being punished. Maybe he just wants to introduce me to anal sex. God knows he's shown me everything else. Or has he? Probably not. I'll bet there's a million games he could play with me.

Second – This talk of making pleasure and pain one. I bet he had to learn this from day one with Victoria. I hate thinking of that bitch while Edward is inside me. I have to stop now.

Make them one. Pleasure and pain. How the hell am I supposed to do that? More coaching, please, Cullen. Swan is confused.

"Make them one, Bella.", his voice was now gentle and I wasn't crying anymore.

Very slowly, he moved inside me and every little vein and ripple of his cock seemed to stir things in me…I let out a little yelp and cry of anguish as he began to slowly move upward, his hands now stroking and kneading my ass cheeks, trying to distract my attention away from the virgin hole he was conquering.

He let out a very deep groan, almost all the way out, but not. The head remained inside.

"More?", he asked me.

"Yes.", I blinked, feeling a couple tears falling to the floor below me.

"Yes.", he agreed, slowly coming forward again as I let out a screech, my fists clenching…and then instantly trying to relax themselves…and a subtle wave of arousal was beginning to bud inside me.

This was so raw and taboo for me. It was almost wrong. But I shoved that idea away. There is no wrong for us. I wanted to experience this…until it didn't hurt anymore. I wanted to learn what he knew. How to make pain and pleasure the same. How to cum from the both of them at once. I wanted to be his slave and please him. I wanted to make him proud.

He was very patient with me…he went so slowly…and stopped often, talking me through it. He stroked me and kissed me.

As we practiced, I became braver. I really pleased him when I lifted my ass to his cock, meeting his thrusts with very slow stretches. He gave me a 'very good, Bella' for my courage.

I was not ready to cum upon this first experience, but I did feel very good when Edward came inside me…with no condom…even if it was in my ass. I realized what a big step it was…I was saying I trusted him and he wanted to be inside me…nothing standing between us.

Maybe some might have found us filthy creatures, doing something like this. But I felt good. It felt right. I liked it. And I would do anything Edward wanted me to try. And in all fairness, I was very bad. I deserved a little punishment. Maybe that's how he is punished.

Edward is not completely cured, and I know that. He still has lots of road to travel before he leaves behind all traces of Fire and Victoria and slavery. And that's okay. I am in this for the long haul. We will work on this every day…until it's just a distant memory.

After we had a little time to process, and Edward saw that I had survived and I had calmed inside his arms, we realized the shower was still running.

Together, the two of us nude, tired people went into the bathroom and put the door back in place, Edward washed my sore ass and body, and then wiped the floor off.

Edward, stark naked, on all fours, wiping the floor…mmmm…I want that on my Christmas cards this year.

As we cleaned up, I decided I liked angry, dominant Edward. He was a little scary, but he got my full attention. And I would never shoot him with the cold water again. Ever.

Maybe that triggered something. He said he got hosed down sometimes. I'm sure that water is not nice and hot.

He did say once, if I went near Fire again, he'd go so Dom on my ass. He wasn't kidding.

Oh, well, at least my ass is not a virgin anymore. Edward had been everywhere in me…and I felt glad.

We talked about it over breakfast and again, his candor never ceased to amaze me.

As he made us some eggs, and after I very carefully sat on the stool, wincing as my ass touched the seat, Edward decided to interview me.

"I didn't ride you too hard, did I?", he asked, his green eyes very bright as he looked into mine, a real concern there.

"No.", I felt my face get hot, "It was just right. Thanks for…going slow in the beginning."

"I had to.", he was cracking eggs, "I didn't want you to shit on me."

He was snickering and I almost let myself get mad at him as he worked. But then, something else occurred to me. This was the last morning he'd be here, making me breakfast.

I almost wanted to say something witty, to joke back, like, 'You say the most romantic things…' But I couldn't joke. I couldn't breathe.

"I'm kidding, Bella.", he looked at me and smiled and I tried to smile, too.

"Oh my God, I hurt you.", his face turned sad and filled with regret as he left the eggs and came towards me, referring to the anal sex we'd just tried, "You hated it."

"No, I didn't.", I tried to explain, "I mean…it hurt…at first. It's not that. If I wanted you to stop, I could've said my words. I chose not to. I'm not upset about anything we did. I have…loved every minute…with you."

Then I turned into a girl. I burst out crying.

"Oh, Bella…", he came to me and was behind my stool now, his arms around me as I turned towards him, clinging that beautiful, bare back of his.

"It's because it's Sunday.", he said, not asked. Then I knew he realized it too, and had been trying to act, like me, that everything was alright. It's not.

"Listen to me.", he said in all seriousness, "This is NOT…our last day together. I swear it, Bella. I wish you'd believe me."

"I do.", I sobbed, "But I…thinking of you going back there…"

I was sobbing louder now, wondering how the hell I was going to get through a single school day now while he was at Fire, having God knows what happening to him all day and night.

"Bella.", he jerked my chin up and I saw his face, struggling to remain composed and not let himself fall apart with me, "I need you. I need your strength today. I don't want to cry and say goodbye to you all day. I want to have fun with you. I want to feel the sun on my face and watch the wind mess up your hair…and I want to lick a cherry icee off your body. I want this to be an ordinary, lazy day…a fun day. I don't want this to feel like the last day. Please, Bella? Can you please do that…for me?"

I sniffed.

"You want to lick a cherry icee off my body?", I asked, in a teasing voice. And I had his smile. And he had mine.

"Yes, a Bellacherry icee would be just…paradise.", he planted a wet kiss on my mouth and wiped my eyes with his thumbs, saying, "Drink your orange juice. My butter is burning in the pan."

I turned, feeling my sore ass as I watched that sweet back of his while he saved the butter and began to make our eggs.

"Is that a metaphor for something else?", I asked, "I know my butter's been burning in the pan for the last two weeks now."

He laughed out loud and almost sparkled as he glanced at me.

"Your butter wasn't even out of the fridge until I came along.", he said in a droll voice, taking two plates out of the cabinet.

"Oh, up yours!", I retorted and we just looked up at each other.

"Let me rephrase that.", I blushed, thinking again of how hot he was awhile ago when he said, 'No, Bella, fuck YOU.'…and penetrated me. I forget Edward has this very dark side. Maybe because he's so damn adorable most of the time…that the dark side is very well hidden. But it's there. I must be more careful in the future about that.

"In the back of my mind, as I had my cock in your ass, I kept thinking Charlie was going to come walking in behind us.", Edward confessed as I laughed, thinking of it.

"I just imagined a giant shot and a hole opening up in my face while I fucked you.", he shuddered.

"There are some pretty pictures rolling around in that head while we're having sex.", I shook my head as he put our plates down.

"I'm very paranoid.", Edward admitted, "The only time I'm not is when I'm following an order. Nothing can go wrong if you're obeying an order. Choosing for myself…used to scare the hell out of me."

"It still does.", I squinted, looking at him, knowing it.

"Okay, it does.", he took a bite of toast, "I'm working on it. So far, everything I've chosen seems right. You…taking down Vicki…trusting your Dad. I think I'm doing good for a beginner."

"I don't know.", I smirked, "You also fucked me in the ass."

"You asked for it.", he bit in his toast again, showing teeth at me as he did so, a little glint of evil in his eye, as if he were biting ME.

"I liked that statement…I rule.", I smirked a second time, lifting my eyes to his as I stabbed some eggs with my fork, "I was very impressed by that."

He chuckled, "You were very scared by that. I never saw you turn blue before."

I had to laugh.

It seemed, magically, we could really talk and play-argue and the outside world almost melted away. It was still out there and tonight would be damn hard for both of us. He would be going. I would lose my mind. But today I tried to give him his wish. For today, it was a fun Sunday. Nothing bad could go wrong. No horrible fate waited for us tomorrow.

I would try my best.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

BPOV

After Edward made sure I deposited my forty thousand dollars, and after he wired Kaitlyn's five million dollars to Ben, we started strolling around town, letting New York choose our fun for the day.

It seemed there was a big festival going on in town today. And as we walked together, we wandered right into the middle of it.

It was a beautiful May afternoon and we soon found out it was a Pow Wow Festival, celebrating native Americans. I love the whole culture. The peaceful Sioux Indians…their beliefs. And I love Dances with Wolves. God, I sound stupid. Moving on…

We were drawn into town by the beautiful music we heard. It wasn't an Indian chant or war cry kind of music. It sounded like flutes, but different from any I've ever heard.

When we found the source of the song that had captured us, there were tall, handsome Indian braves blowing into special native flutes made of what appeared to be bamboo or some similar type wood. They wore detailed and magnificent costumes and headdresses.

It sounded like a love song, or at least I thought so. It also had a deep sorrow to it and my mind almost drifted again to tomorrow. Edward held my hand and kissed it as we stayed frozen in our tracks, unable to pull ourselves away from the anguished melody in the air.

Later, we came upon the fierce warriors who were chanting and dancing. It was explained that warriors would do this, the night before a battle, to pray to the spirits above…for courage and strength…and to return home quickly.

Edward and I looked at each other, a little secret smile between us as we watched the men dance and pray at the same time. They allowed anyone who wished to join in, to dance around the fire. We figured it couldn't hurt us to give it a chance. We would need all the help we could get tomorrow. Edward where he was going…and me where I was staying.

I'm sure we made complete fools of ourselves, but we did our best. Edward looked amazing doing it…I felt like an ass, no pun intended.

Since we joined in the dance, Indian names were bestowed upon us. An old man with a peace pipe looked at Edward, after he had named five people before him, and gave him a stern look in the eyes, not speaking for a minute.

I almost got scared he could see into Edward's thoughts and knew he gave me anal this morning. I would fall down dead if he named Edward "Fucks in the Ass."

But, finally, he said, "It is hard to see you at first."

"I know.", he said with a strange, quiet voice, "I'm sorry. I'm trying to work on that."

"I call you…Freed Eagle," the man said and I could've kissed him. The look on Edward's face was the most beautiful thing. He looked so honored. It was perfect. I wondered if this man really could see it in his eyes.

"Thank you.", he smiled like a child, as if he just received the keys to the world.

He stepped aside and I was behind him, giving the man the most loving smile I knew how. I began to thank him and he quickly named me.

"I call you…Endless Voice.", he said and Edward let out a big laugh, saying, "God, this guy is good, Bella. We should bring Emmett here."

"Not an insult.", he assured me, putting a hand on my shoulder, "Your voice has power. Your voice is medicine. You heal…always…with this voice."

Damn, he is good. I believe.

Now that we were Indian warriors, we decided to get our faces painted. We were being kids, having a great time, doing everything. I kept peeking at Edward's face that was being worked on as mine was being done beside him.

This was supposed to tell you something about yourself, too, they said.

Edward's face had a black line under one eye, going straight down. They told him that was a tear. He has cried for too long, the woman told him. The other eye has no tear, because he will not cry for a long time now, we were also told. Also, Edward's lips were lined with white and black stripes. The lady told us this means his mouth is a prisoner. He does not say what he should say. The white parts symbolize his want to, but the black show he is still holding his tongue…and must speak if he wants to free his words.

My interpretation was pretty cool, too. I had these cool blue designs around my eyes and was told this means my eyes see things other eyes don't see. I assumed this meant by looking into a person, like a psychiatrist would do. I also had the yellow symbol of a healer on my cheek and my lips were painted all white because my lips speak the truth and say things that kill sorrow.

"I have never been to one of these festivals before." I said to Edward later as we sat under a tent, eating Indian food, "I used to spend my weekend inside reading all the time. They have been so friggin' accurate, it's spooky."

"I know!", Edward said and I smiled again at how cute his face was in his makeup, "When he called me Freed Eagle, I almost passed out."

"That was the coolest thing ever.", I agreed, "I nearly bawled."

"I _am_ free, Bella.", he looked right at me, "Going there tomorrow won't change that. I'm not really going to be hers when I go back. I'm just playing a part."

"I know, Edward.", I sipped my can of coke, "I'm just so scared for you. And I have to go back to school tomorrow. That'll be fun. I missed two days already. I'm sure I'll have lots of homework to keep me busy while I'm worrying about you."

"I'm glad you'll have something to do.", Edward said, "And I want you to have Rosalie and Alice with you. Let them hang out after school and do homework with you. I don't want you to be alone. In fact, maybe you better stay with one of them while I'm gone. Just to be safe."

"I don't know….maybe.", I shrugged, not wanting to be away from our place. There are so many good memories there now…I can't imagine it without seeing Edward everywhere already. That will probably hurt more, being at my place then, alone.

"Bella…", Edward took a bite of his food, "You won't be…helping Charlie…will you? I mean, you won't be in his car, listening to anything that's going on in the club, I hope."

I squinted. My father would never allow it, first of all. And secondly, I didn't know if I was tough enough to listen to Edward screaming and being hurt, and not moving to go save him. I felt like a coward for feeling that…and at the same time, I wanted to be somehow involved and close by as he went through these terrible next few days.

"No.", I sounded sad to myself, "I'm not invited."

"We just want you to be safe.", he explained.

"I know.", I sighed, hating this more and more. Charlie would only tell me things he would decide I needed to know. He would not give me details. I hate being "protected". It means you're not trusted enough to be on the front lines.

Hey, I'm the mastermind of the entire rescue of Edward from Raven's place. I can be trusted! I'm a tough cop!

Later, as we walked, we found all kinds of stands selling things. I bought Edward a beautiful bear claw necklace, a leather string serving as the chain, a warrior necklace, to take the spirit of the bear with you into battle. He loved that. He wore it proudly.

I took a fancy to this thing called a Rain Stick. It's a long wooden staff with a beautiful design on top, coming to a point, and when you lower it, beads inside fall and it sounds like it's raining inside the stick. It reminded me of the night I told Edward I loved him for the first time, in the pouring rain. So that was my gift from Edward. I felt like a powerful sorceress, carrying it for the rest of the day.

As the sun began to get lower in the sky, we both got quieter. We had done a pretty good job of having fun all day and eating and dancing, kissing…but the day was fast beginning to fade. Night was coming. Tomorrow…was coming.

Edward wasn't even in the mood for his cherry icee on the way home and I didn't push him on it. We were stuffed full of good food so dinner wasn't necessary.

Upon entering the apartment, we just both seemed to walk to our bed, holding hands. We laid down on top of the covers, staring at each other in the moonlight, carefully touching each other without a word. It felt like, to me, that we were memorizing each other one last time before we were separated.

"Is it alright if we don't make love tonight?", he whispered and for a second I felt heartbroken. Didn't he want me anymore?

"It's too hard tonight.", he explained, stroking my cheek, "I just…can I just…touch you…look at you?"

He blinked then and a silver tear shone in his left eye. I think I understood. We didn't have to do it one last time to prove anything to ourselves. He will be back…he will be back…I had to keep saying it to myself over and over. I wish my head will believe it already. And we had gone at it all night last night, like bunnies. Maybe he knew then that he would not be able to pretend tonight.

I was kissing his black and white lips, telling Freed Eagle how much I love him. I guess Endless Voice is a good name for me. Even when I can't talk…I can say things to Edward. And I know he hears me. He was kissing me back, holding my face in both his hands.

Believe it or not, it was one of the nicest nights we'd ever spent together. We didn't say a thing, but he held each other, kissed innocently like a black and white movie…stroked each other, tracing every inch and angle of the other….shed a few tears here and there. It was a magical night. I wouldn't have traded it for all the sex in the world.

Charlie had called around ten that night and said he'd be over at 5am to "prep" Edward.

I hadn't thought of Charlie being around when I had to say goodbye to Edward. God, I hate that. Rosalie and Alice were also called and promised to be here at around 5:30am to be with me for moral support.

Edward kept whispering to me during the night to try and get some sleep, that I have school tomorrow. I tried to close my eyes but then I jerked awake and held him closer to me, shivering from the thought that I'd wake up and all this would be a dream, that my Adonis was only a wonderful creation of my imagination…that he'd be gone, on his way back to Victoria, without having to speak any painful goodbyes.

He didn't sleep much during the night, either, and I felt guilty about that, too. We didn't sleep at all last night, and if he got no sleep tonight he'd be completely exhausted Monday morning – when he really needed his strength to be at full.

I loved the way he looked with no shirt on, and his black bear claw against his ivory skin. I kept kissing and licking the claw…and Edward moaned as I took it into my mouth, sucking on it.

"Fuck, Bella…", he looked at me as I kept doing it.

I need you, Edward…I want you…please.

In seconds, my shirt was being yanked off me by King Edward, my pants being tugged down by eager fingers, those full, pouting lips closing around mine.

"Fuck me, Freed Eagle.", I growled and he attacked, giving me exactly what I wanted.

"Shut up, Endless Voice.", he breathed back wickedly, his tongue wet and hot and invading my mouth, effectively silencing me.

Give me your Rain Stick, Cullen. Pound me until I fall asleep. I have school tomorrow.

Later, we both found the most pleasant sleep, holding each other as we dreamt of nicer things than what was coming in the next few hours.

I didn't even hear Charlie knocking on the door at 5, while the darkness still lingered outside the windows. Only when Edward was getting out of bed did I awaken and begin to realize that it is Monday, day 15. Fuck.

I heard the door opening and I sat up, not wanting Edward to face Charlie on his own. Entering quietly, Charlie looked at Edward and his brow furrowed as he looked over the smeared war paint on his face. Edward had obviously forgotten about his makeup and so did I until the kitchen light flipped on.

"Hi Mr. Swan…Charlie.", Edward looked tired and a bit confused, yawning.

Charlie didn't appreciate seeing Edward with no shirt on, but I was glad he had put his jeans on at least. I was in the bedroom, in the dark, struggling to get my clothes from yesterday back on before my Dad put two and two together. Oh, who am I kidding? He knows we were having sex, but I didn't want to flaunt it in front of his nose. This all must be so hard for him, too.

I had told Charlie over the phone earlier that Edward had gotten my money back, plus twenty thousand more. That seemed to ease him a bit towards Edward, but he still wasn't doing cartwheels over our relationship.

One thing that made me nervous – now that Edward would go soon, I knew that talk Charlie wanted to have with me was coming up. I hope he knows to wait until I'm done crying before he starts.

"Hello Edward.", he said back, not sounding all that pleasant, but not abrasive, either.

I hate when Charlie is middle of the road.

I came out of the bedroom and Charlie squinted at my face now, trying to figure out why we both looked like we had given each other a child's facial last night.

"Hi Dad.", I rubbed my lips a little, looking at my fingers, seeing black smudges and white mixed in.

"Hi Bella.", he said, sitting on the stool in the dining room side, taking some things out of his duffle bag, without saying any more to either of us.

"Um…Edward?", I raised my brows at him, "Maybe you should….wash your face and stuff."

He frowned, looking clueless and then after a few seconds of seeing my face, probably reminding him of Paul Stanley's the morning after a Kiss concert.

"Oh!", he touched his cheek with one hand, wiping it and rubbing his fingers to his thumb, "Yea, be right back."

He rushed into the bathroom, closing the door, and I heard him inside, mumbling, "Oh Jesus!" as he got a look at his reflection now, probably mortified that Charlie had seen him this way.

I grabbed a dishtowel from the counter and turned on the kitchen water, getting an edge of it wet and squeezing, trying to non chalantly rub my lips with it, as if this was no big deal and normal for me.

On the counter now was a notebook, opened, with my father's handwriting all over it, a strange looking needle with the plastic wrap still on it, a little round plastic case, and a pair of ear buds with a little black box attached to them, a red light shining a dot out of the top.

"Where'd you get all this stuff?", I asked, hoping he wouldn't ask about the makeup or anything sexual about Edward and I.

"Circuit City.", he blankly replied, "The bug is really from an intercom system and I just…used what I needed out of it."

"What about this?", I almost picked up the needle thing and Charlie reached out, ready to stop me. I took my hand away, not giving him any problems.

"Vet's office.", he glanced at me, "They shoot these things into dogs every day. "

"You're using a DOG'S needle on Edward?", I said too loudly, enraged.

"It's not USED, it's brand new.", Charlie's brow went into a hard line across his eyes, "I've done it before, it won't hurt him."

I heard him brushing his teeth now in the bathroom, the water running.

"Dad, do you know what you're doing ?", I dared to ask, feeling so afraid suddenly, "If you don't, just say so now. I don't want even the remote chance of anything happening to him."

"Bella.", Charlie looked up at me sternly, "I wouldn't get involved if I didn't know what I was doing. I wouldn't risk anyone's life – even his – if I –"

"Even his?!", I hissed, not wanting Edward to hear that.

"I didn't mean it that way, Bella.", Charlie sighed, "We will have this talk later."

Fine.

I started slamming things in the kitchen now as my father ignored me.

Edward was showering and shaving as I fixed bagels for all of us. I toasted a few and spread cream cheese inside, shaking up the orange juice and pouring three glasses.

When he came out, a nice cloud of steam followed him to the bedroom as he got dressed and I peeked in, noticing he was gathering his things, dropping them into his bag without a word. I wanted to cry but I sighed instead and opened the fridge, staring at the contents as if they had some help to offer me here.

After a while, Charlie said, "You're letting all the cold out of there."

I gritted my teeth and growled low, "Shut. Up. Dad."

He muttered something about the electric bill and I slammed the door shut, glaring at him as he wrote in his god damned notebook.

Edward looked beautiful and fresh as he came up to stand beside Charlie. He was wearing a snug blue t-shirt and jeans, sneakers on his feet.

"Okay, I'm ready.", he said, swallowing, his eyes on the things on the counter.

NO! I wanted to bellow at him, forbid him to leave, tie him to the bed until they came to pry him out of my cold, dead hands.

But I didn't. I held it in. Just like I told Edward not to do. My once endless voice was silent, imprisoned.

Edward's soft eyes tilted up and touched mine…and we exchanged sad faces.

"Alright.", Charlie half turned himself towards Edward, "First off, let me tell you what I found out so far. The kid you saw get killed is Jason White. He was reported missing by his parents. Good student, average kid. He graduated high school a few months before he disappeared. Parents aren't sure but they think he might've run away from home, according to the report. There was some fight they had with him the day before he was gone. Probably came to New York, then, and got involved with the wrong crowd. This city eats runaways alive. And this kid came from the south, very sheltered type, not very street smart. Maybe he was hooking on the streets and saw something one night that got him in trouble. I'm guessing on that right now, I can't be sure. In time, I'll know more. He was never found."

"God.", Edward looked at the floor and I felt sick. What if Edward disappears and is never found?

As if Charlie read my mind, he said, to Edward, "That's not gonna happen to you, though, Edward."

Charlie stood up, taking the plastic off the needle, adding, "Give me your shoulder, kid."

Looking at me again, Edward pulled up the right short sleeve of his t-shirt, exposing the shoulder and turning towards Charlie a bit.

My hands started to shake as Charlie opened another plastic wrapper, swabbing the meaty side of Edward's arm, below the shoulder.

I heard Edward exhale as Charlie injected the needle into Edward's skin, and then I heard a click.

"Ow.", Edward commented instantly, not sounding all that upset by the shot.

"Let me test it.", Charlie sat down, opening his laptop, clicking the keys and waiting as Edward looked at me again, lowering the sleeve back into place, no mark left behind by the dog needle.

"Alright, the chip is in…and it's working.", Charlie sounded pleased, "You are now at 312 Meyer Avenue."

"Thanks, Dad." I sneered with sarcasm, "Edward, have something to eat. I made bagels."

I sound so weak right now. I am weak right now. And I'm so pissed at Charlie. I don't want to know where Edward's body is, I want to know that he's going to be coming out of there as soon as possible and safe and unharmed.

"Thanks, Bella.", he tried to smile at me, coming around in the kitchen, touching my waist lightly and placing a kiss on my still messy face.

He took a bagel, sat down, and started to break it apart in little pieces, eating it as my father began coaching Edward. I didn't want to leave the room, but I also didn't want to say goodbye to him with my face smeared with paint, either. I washed my face with soap in the kitchen sink, using the mirror of the toaster to see what I was doing.

Edward peeked over at me and smiled to himself, popping another piece of bagel into his mouth as Charlie was going on about acting normally in front of Victoria.

"Don't come right out and ask to go into her office if that's not normal.", Charlie spoke to Edward as if he were a dope, "Wait for the safe opportunity. Don't take any chances, at all. If you are in real trouble and need me to come in there, I want you to say Nostradamus. Got that?"

"Nostradamus.", he repeated, "Got it."

"Can I say it _now_?", I asked, not wanting this to go any further.

They both looked at me and didn't answer. I went back to slamming things around.

Opening the little plastic case, Charlie took out a little black square, so small that it could sit on the tip of his finger.

"This is the bug.", Charlie said, "Keep it in its case until you get a couple blocks away from the club, then put it in the side of your mouth or under your tongue. The saliva won't hurt it. Just don't bite down on it or swallow it or anything. It's fragile. Just place it somewhere in the room where…she takes you…to…you know."

"The dungeon.", Edward said it aloud, where my father couldn't.

I let out another breath, grabbing my hair near the roots as I leaned over the kitchen sink, wishing I had enough food in me to barf. Maybe that would make me somehow feel better.

"Yea.", Charlie looked at Edward, and put a hand on his shoulder, "I want to tell you, Edward, I didn't like you when I found out about you and Bella…and your little arrangement…and I still don't want you seeing her after this is done. BUT…doing this…takes a lot of balls. I won't let you down. Call…use your word…and I'll be there."

"I won't call until I have some real evidence and my blood sample back.", he said with no weakness in his voice, "Whatever you hear, don't come near the place unless I say that word. And I don't want Bella ever hearing any of it, either."

"I would never let her hear that, Edward.", Charlie agreed, "She already knows that."

They both looked at me again and I had my hands over my mouth, tearing my fingers through my hair again, wishing I could stop shaking.

"Alright.", Edward looked at Charlie now and extended a hand towards him.

Charlie looked at Edward's hand and then shook it as Edward gave a relieved smile, adding, "Thank you, Charlie…for everything."

"No problem.", Charlie replied, cracking a little smile. It may not have looked like much to the outsider, but to me, and knowing my father, it was as huge a gesture as a warm embrace.

"Um…", Edward looked at me and then Charlie, "Could we…have a few minutes?"

"Oh.", he frowned, looking at me, then Edward, "I guess."

Charlie stood up and walked into the kitchen, tapping me. I spun my head around, the tears already blurring my vision as he muttered, "I'll protect him, Bella. He'll be alright."

I felt my fists clench. But then I hugged my father, whether he wanted me to or not. I tried not to cry as he patted my back, letting go and leaving without looking back, probably getting emotional and trying to hide it from me. Tough cops don't cry. Okay, Charlie, whatever you say.

I peeked up at Edward, who stood there, on the other side of the counter. His eyes hurt to look at. Too fucking beautiful…hypnotizing…unreal.

He walked slowly over to me and before I knew it, I threw my arms around him and was sobbing into his soft t-shirt, feeling his pecks under my cheek as he held me close, his lips resting on my head, touching my hair.

"Shhhh…", he rocked me gently, just letting me bawl without stopping me.

"I'm sorry.", I wept, my voice sounding like a seven year old's, "I just love you too much. I can't let you go."

"We won't be apart.", he said, his voice low and morose, "You're with me, always."

"That's a bunch of crap.", I cried more, "Don't say pretty things, don't lie to me, Edward."

"Alright, I won't lie.", he jerked my chin up again and I saw tears in his emerald eyes and it scared me, "It sucks that I have to go back there. I don't know what she's got waiting there for me and I feel sick to my stomach that I have to walk back into that place and kneel and wait for it. But this is what I have to do so I won't have to look over my shoulder for the rest of my life, so Katie can go to school and I won't have to wonder if someone's gonna get her that day. This is a fucked up thing I have to do, but I'm doing it. Whatever happens, I'll do it. For you. For Katie. For me. This is going to be hard for both of us, but your father is with us. Emmett is with us. And if my calculations are correct, Rosalie and Alice are probably outside right now, waiting to come in here for you, too. I'll be fine. I will be back for you. I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too.", I whispered, letting the tears run down my cheeks as he wiped them away, kissing me.

"I'm glad you're crying.", he smiled down at me, "It's good for you."

I clung onto him tighter and let a pained moan escape my lips, then my breath hitched sharply as I looked up at that perfect, strong face.

I did this. I taught him to fight and to stand up for himself. And it was because of me he was going to do this terribly dangerous week with Victoria. I swear to God and everything that's holy, if she hurts one hair on his head, I'll kill her.

"Go.", I forced myself to say that one little word and I'd rather have lost my hands.

He slowly moved towards the door and I spun around, grabbing his arm.

He looked at me and I said, quivering with terror, "Be careful, Thumper."

He gave me that crooked smile I adored and answered, "I will, Bambi."

I will not say goodbye to him. This isn't goodbye. It can't be. I won't let it.

The doorknob squeaked as he turned it. He turned around and took a long look around the apartment, smiling more. If he was anything like me, he could see us everywhere as he looked at the sofa, the stools, the kitchen, the floor, the wall, the bedroom, even the bathroom.

"I'll need lots of therapy when I come back.", he smirked at me, opening the door carefully, tossing his duffle bag over his shoulder, "Be ready, Dr. Bella."

I let out a strangled cry and tried to manage a few more words before he went.

"Of course, Mr. Cullen.", I breathed, the tears still falling from my eyes, "You're my only patient. Be on time. I hate late people."

He tried to laugh but he turned away, casually wiping his eye, but I noticed.

"I'll be on time.", he said, his voice cracking a bit.

I turned away, not wanting to see him leave and close the door. I was dieing inside…and then I heard his soft footsteps out in the hallway, about to descend the staircase. He left the apartment door open, not wanting to shut it, either.

I heard his steps going downstairs and I held in my pain until I knew he'd be outside, unable to hear it. My legs shook, too hard to stand anymore…I let myself sink to sit on the cool kitchen floor, and that felt much better…and certainly safer.

My shaking hands held my mouth shut until the door out to the street closed with a small thud.

Then I fell apart. I don't remember much of anything specific. All I knew was that he was gone, on his way to bleed for Katie…and me. I heard sounds coming out of me that I didn't even recognize. I gasped for air, feeling like I was slowly suffocating as I sobbed mindlessly.

Without even hearing them approach, suddenly I was being hugged and stroked by two sets of arms, sweet perfume and apple lotion filling my nostrils. Alice and Rosalie. My friends…my sisters. I clung to them, crying on their shirts as they sat on the floor with me, not talking…just comforting me…not allowing me to endure this all alone.

I heard my father's car outside, the engine starting up. Edward would not be driving with him to Fire. He had to take the train, as usual, and go there, alone. My father would be in the neighborhood, listening to the bug, listening to hear Nostradamus, the one word that would end my nightmare.

Edward is on his way there now…I pictured him with his duffle bag, walking quickly to the stairs that would take him underground, to the trains. He loves trains. I feel like I have just been torn apart, and the best part of me is gone.

I know it's gone.

All I can do now is wait…and pray.

I trust you, Edward. I love you. Come home to me. Fast.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

See next chapter soon!

Love WinndSinger


	28. Day One

Notes: Be warned. This is the start of Edward's time with Victoria. There will be punishment, but I don't think it's that graphic. Beware !

28

EPOV

The whole ride over here, on the train, I had tried to remember who I was before Bella. Eyes down, quiet, silent mostly…agree with everything Victoria says. Don't even argue with your eyes. No matter what happens, you submit…you accept. Behave. Smile. Don't show defiance. Don't show anger or fear, unless it's demanded.

I hated coaching myself back to what I was. It felt like the worst kind of cheating on Bella, or Dr. Bella, more correctly. I keep telling myself it's only for a few days…it's an act. But the sad thing is, I really was this slave only 14 days ago. A subconscious part of me felt like…even though I had learned some new tricks, I was still that weakling, deep down.

No. I am not. I won't be. Perform for a few days and get what you need and then get the hell out of there. You will not become Victoria's bitch again. The internal struggle continued as I got to the back alley of Fire.

This is where Emmett found me for the first time. I looked around for a moment, the darkness still smiling overhead. Would it have been better for me to have died out here? Would it have been easier for everyone I know if I'd just vanished like that boy?

I took out my key and exhaled a breath, sliding the metal into the chiseled lock, turning it with a little jiggle, as usual, and I opened the door.

Going inside was making my flesh crawl and right away I knew I'd been changed inside. It didn't feel normal or routine to be here, as it used to feel. The dressing room area was dark, all lights turned off. I lifted my tongue a bit inside my closed mouth, feeling the little square there. Be careful. Don't bite down.

The dungeon is always locked and only Victoria has the key to that room. Otherwise, I could just sneak in here, enter the dungeon, and get my evidence, and sneak out. But life is never that easy in reality.

I silently walked through the dressing rooms, and crossed the red line once more. It almost hissed at me, as if it knew even if Victoria didn't that I wasn't the same and that this time, I hadn't left my heart and soul behind when I stepped across it. I am brining my whole self across you this time, you fucked up line.

Katie's father is inside the club now…Bella's lover is here…I'm not just a faceless whore shadow anymore. I'm someone…I matter. I'm flesh and blood. I am special. I am loved.

I don't see Victoria yet. I can't even smell her perfume at the moment. Maybe I got here before her. Maybe she'd overslept. Yea, right.

For a moment, I pictured Charlie driving around, finding a good place to park where he would not be in sight of the club or anyone around it, the ear bud in place, waiting to hear my most disgraced moments. I still hate that he or anyone has to hear any of this. But I have been humiliated before.

The club was dark and empty and the vampire cage alone, hanging from the ceiling, almost smiling at me as if it had missed me. I ignored its gaze and turned right, going down the hallway of private rooms. I don't need light to point the way. I know it by heart…and the darkness has always been my friend…until lately…when an angel revealed to me the magic of the sunshine.

Please forgive me, Bella. I ached as I thought the words, my legs feeling like cement, dragging me every inch of the way. Please hold on. I would die for you, too. I would bleed, scream, beg, starve, and burn for you. Don't give up on me. Hold on.

Going down a long staircase, I finally reach the lower basement floors of Fire.

This is where the seediest of things occur at Fire. Drugs are purchased down here, mostly in the two rooms on my right hand side. I walk down the hallway, passing the dungeon door, locked and also padlocked, unopened. The door at the end of this dim, cold gray brick hall is the one she calls mine. It's not locked. Nothing special is in here, only me, most of the time.

Opening the door, I flick the light on, and the sudden bulb overhead burns bright, stinging my eyes, a blur of blue color in my vision as my eyes close, trying to adjust.

The room is not fancy in any way. Gray brick walls, a simple twin sized bed with metal cuffs, two at the head of the bed, two at the foot of the bed. I don't always sleep restrained, but sometimes. The cuffs must always be there, another of Victoria's rules. A black comforter laid on it, neatly made, and I wasn't sure if that was the way I had left it, or if someone had maybe washed it and remade the bed while I was away. I decided it didn't matter and placed my duffle bag on top, knowing it wasn't time to unpack just yet.

I was in trouble and nothing else would be done until I received my punishment. I took off my shirt, folding it and placing it on the bed. I kicked off my sneakers, then socks, tucking them into the shoes, shoving them under the bed with my bare feet. I cleared my throat and unbuttoned my jeans, unzipping them, moving them down off my white underwear, lifting one foot to remove them, then the other. I folded them, too, placing them next to my shirt.

Now the underwear, whore, my inner slave seethed at me. I told myself to start acting my part and do it.

I exhaled again and almost frowned, sliding my fingers down, taking the underwear with them, feeling a slight chill on my ass as I stepped out of the briefs. I folded them, too, and laid them on top of the jeans.

Now the fun part. Please forgive me Bella.

It seemed like it took me forever to do it…but I knelt on the hard cement floor, letting my head drop down, really feeling true shame already, and aligning my arms behind me, folding them straight and perfectly, making sure my posture was correct. No slouching, no hunching.

I wanted to cry. I nearly did. But I kept shouting at myself to be tough, be the way I was, even if it's only for show. I tried. And then I tried again. Again.

My knees began to feel a little sore but they were used to that. I haven't been on my knees to serve for a long time. It was nice…feeling free.

I heard her heels clicking on the stairs coming down here and I tensed. I always tense when I first hear Victoria approach. Keep your eyes down. Agree with everything she says. Don't show her your new eyes, the ones Dr. Bella gave us. The ones full of joy and pride and strength…freedom colored eyes. Hide them away, as all your other valued possessions. She would pluck them out before allowing me to ever keep something so precious.

She's almost here. She's taking her time, too, always one to like making a grand entrance.

I can smell her now. I miss the smell of strawberries and freesia. I miss light. I miss warm quilts and soft pillows…and the quiet. I miss Bella's sleep talking. I want to go home already. I am so fucked.

I jumped involuntarily as she spoke suddenly, stealing me away from my warm, fluffy memories.

"Good morning, Edward.", she said, her voice sounding very pleasant. I hadn't seen her yet, all I could see now was the floor below my head. I could now see part of her shoes. Only she would wear four inch heels, and red ones, at 6 am.

"Answer," she said just as sweetly.

"Good morning, Victoria.", I tried so hard to make my voice sound seductive and smooth, feeling the little square under my tongue again, hoping it wouldn't be long before I could put it in the dungeon and take it out of my mouth.

She walked closer to me, looking me over, I was sure, as she stroked my hair. It didn't feel like an affectionate gesture, it felt more like a stable hand touching a horse, surveying the condition it was in before grooming again.

I made myself close my eyes and give a little moan as she touched me. She liked me to crave her, need her, want her touch. I commanded my cock to harden…and it half-cooperated. It seemed to sigh and shrug its shoulders as I felt Victoria's fingernails scrape my scalp.

I'm sorry, Bella. I don't want to use you for something as wrong as this..but…I have to picture you now, walking around me, touching me like I was property…a returned DVD.

"Good boy. I missed you, too.", she kept playing with my hair as my moans quieted a bit, "Silence."

Thank God. Silence can be so easy sometimes. Sometimes not. Suddenly, I remembered my lips with jail bars painted over them and I kept my eyes softly closed, trying to push it away for now.

"Look at what Raven did to you.", she said with a casual voice as she let her hand trail down the back of my neck, her fingers moving down the lines I was wearing there.

Her hands were on my ass now as she stood behind me, one foot on each side of my legs as she kneaded the flesh there. My eyes clenched a bit tighter, my jaw felt very tight, too, and my internal coach demanded me to relax right now. You're undercover, it told me, act your part, damn it.

I made myself relax and then Victoria shoved my back, ordering, "Down, boy."

I was on all fours now, opening my eyes and staring at the floor as she spread my ass cheeks open, examining her pet for traces of damage.

"She raped you, too.", Victoria seemed to know this already and part of me thought maybe she spoke to Raven afterwards…and my paranoia was rising.

"Did you bleed?", she was roughly examining the opening and added, "Answer."

"No, Victoria.", I answered, trying to stop myself from screaming.

After a few minutes, she stopped that and grabbed the back of my hair, pulling me up to my knees again, saying, "Up, boy."

My hands went back in place, folded behind me, as she moved around to my left.

"Tsk.", she clicked loudly, not sounding very happy suddenly, "You got fat, slut."

I felt her fingers pinch my hip and a small piece of skin was being twisted between her thumb and fingers. I winced but didn't dare yell out or even let out a breath.

I kept my eyes down, remembering the snacks at Bella's…I hadn't worked out enough during my stay there. Shit.

Her hand came across my face hard and I felt a gush of air come out of my mouth. Shit! I nearly lost the square bug. I locked my tongue down over it, closing my mouth.

Keep your eyes down, I told myself and I obeyed.

"You didn't have time to work out?", she asked, slapping my other cheek just as hard as the first.

I wasn't given permission to answer. I just had to take it, silently.

Her fist tightened in my hair and I could feel her anger then. I used to pride myself on the fact that I did my job and never complained, that I never gave Victoria any trouble. And to think of that now made me want to vomit. I wonder what Bella saw in me when I first came to her, the things I said…the weakness inside me must have repulsed her.

"Fucking lazy whore.", she muttered, shoving my head, releasing it and letting me bow it down as my position dictated, "You eat like there's no tomorrow. No food for two days."

"You don't deserve my collar.", she scolded, standing in front of me now, her hands resting on my shoulders.

That's the first thing she's said that's the truth.

"Crawl to the dungeon, you useless skank.", she seethed as I dropped to hands and knees again, crawling out of my room and down the hallway. I could hear her walking behind me, not saying anything else as I went at medium pace the way she liked me to.

I reached the door and remained on all fours as she walked around me, unlocking the two bolts of the dungeon door. She pushed it open and said, "In."

I crawled into a dark room and waited on all fours as the light went on. Another bright light this time. This room has several lights. A red light, for punishment that is almost pleasurable…a dim orange light that is for resting in between sessions…and a harsh white light that only adds to the strain and hides nothing during a particularly rough session.

This is the white light. The light I watched Victoria kill in.

I didn't need to look up to know what was in here. This room had become as familiar to me as the club. It was a huge, open room with no windows, again gray brick walls adorned with lots of different hooks and shelves, displaying every toy and weapon Victoria owned, years worth of gathered things.

There was the X cross in the far corner, covered with a sheet usually, a giant black leather X with metal loops at the end of each corner, a locking belt in the center to hold one's waist in place.

A couple of the walls had metal squares in the concrete, with round loops that held chains. There was also a stockade made of cherry wood that Victoria loved that I had to keep up, oiling it and caring for it every day.

The cage, too, a tall, round one hanging from the ceiling. And another smaller one in the left corner that I could only lay in or sit in the fetal position in.

These were the constants in the dungeon, but there were always new things coming and going from time to time as Victoria's moods changed. I had a feeling there'd be some new things in here today.

I wondered what she'd start with first and just how angry she was at me, really. Time would tell. I hadn't been in trouble with her for a long time, most of the times I spent here were painful, but she was playing with me, not upset with me. This was new.

The door closed behind us but I didn't hear her locking it, as usual.

"Up.", she yanked my hair again and I rose to my knees, hands behind me again.

"You have really displeased me, Edward.", she was at the wall, a few feet away, looking over her tools, "I had you so well trained. You were perfect. And that little cunt screwed you all up."

I frowned and felt my eyes squint in rage. She's talking about Bella. You fucking bitch! I nearly looked up at her but then the slave inside me, who wanted me to keep playing my part grabbed me by the throat, reminding me what I was trying to accomplish here.

"I'll have to start again.", Victoria sighed, and I heard chains clanging as she walked over to me, coming up behind me.

I felt cold metal on my wrists, clicks locking cuffs around them. I heard chains jingle as another metal touched the front of my neck, a padlock clicking into tight place behind me, at the back of my neck. The chain behind me was being pulled again and my neck was forced back until I was looking at the ceiling, another padlock clicked, holding the chains of my collar to the cuffs around my wrists, holding me in this arched back position.

"I don't like doing this to you, Edward.", she moved a finger down my chin and neck.

Then she went behind me again and began to place matching metal cuffs around my ankles, and the chain linked to those as well, securing my wrists tight to them.

"You will come to remember how appealing I am to you again.", she said, moving her fingernails over my ass, "You will beg for me when you see me again. You will remember how good you have it with me."

I doubt it. I felt pretty confidant that nothing she could do to me would really make me feel this way. No pain could really scare me back towards her at this point.

And then she called, "Come in, Sir Kevin."

The dungeon door opened and a tall, muscular man stepped in. He had long, black hair, a slight curl to it, a chiseled model-type face and perfect pecks, washboard abs. He wore no shirt but was adorned with black leather pants, a silver chain looped at his right hip. His boots made wicked clicks against the floor as he looked at me, a smile spreading across his pink lips, revealing perfect white teeth. His skin was so tan with the gray brick wall behind him.

He stopped a couple steps inside and crossed his arms, tilting his head and looking me over, not even bothering to hide the fact that his eyes lowered and stayed there for a good long while.

Any erection I had then was dead and I felt that, knowing I'd be punished for that at some point today.

Victoria clutched my hair in back as if to steady me.

"Sir Kevin, this is Edward.", she introduced with a sugary tone.

"Hello, Edward.", he said with a deep, masculine voice, a true smile painted on his lips.

I just let out a breath, praying this wasn't what I thought it was. Victoria wouldn't do that to me. She knows I hate it. More than anything. I told her from the beginning…no men. Oh fuck!!

"Come, Sir Kevin.", Victoria invited him closer, "You may touch."

SHIT!! No, Victoria, DON'T do this to me! I wasn't that horrible!! No, she won't do this. She's trying to scare me.

He came forward, not too quickly, moving carefully like I was a baby deer or something.

"Shhhh…it's okay…", he assured me as he approached, "Not gonna hurt you, angel."

I let out another breath with thick fear coloring it and Victoria yanked my head back tighter, reminding me to behave myself.

He stood in front of me and hesitated as his hand began to rise towards me. I was aware of my breathing now and it wasn't good. They both knew I was panicking and in a big way. I tried to control it….to pull myself together.

"Relax, baby…" his voice tried to soothe me as he stepped to my side a little, not wanting to stand over me too dominantly. He truly sounded sincere in his caring tone but maybe he thought I was into this scene. Maybe he didn't know this was a huge, huge punishment for me, one I never wanted to know.

"I love your hair.", he complimented, slowly moving his fingers through the side of my unkempt hair, not yanking or pulling it yet, "Sooo soft, too. Very beautiful."

I closed my eyes and felt tears pooling inside them as Victoria was talking to Sir Kevin.

"He is very beautiful.", she agreed, "He's usually a very good boy but he's earned a little whipping lately, as you can see."

"Poor little thing.", I heard him reply in sympathy, his soft fingers moving over a couple of lash marks across my back.

Clenching my eyes now, I felt the wetness spilling past my eyelashes, finding my face as my body shivered a little violently.

"He's never had a man before.", Victoria said, "As I explained to you. Only toys have been used. If he gives you a hard time, you may inflict some pain. He's a pain slave so he's used to that. Don't cause any permanent damage. I want him working next week upstairs. And as always, wear a condom."

Breaking my tongue free, I heard myself scream out, "Victoria, please!"

She yanked my head back more and gave my mouth a very hard slap. I winced, feeling a throbbing pain there.

"He's not allowed to speak!", she yanked my hair again and I thought I tasted blood. I shoved my tongue down over the square bug in my mouth, trying to keep calm enough so I wouldn't lose it or swallow it.

"But if you want him to, it's up to you.", Victoria said to Kevin, "I don't think he'll give you much trouble. Once he gets used to it, he'll be fine."

"You know me, Victoria.", Kevin said, "I'm not a cruel master. I'm very gentle with my subs."

"I know you are.", she sounded like she was smiling, "That's why I chose you to be the first for Edward. He's my baby and I love him. I hate seeing him hurt…but I decided he needs this. He's ready."

The FIRST?!! As if there would be more men ??!! The only thing more disgusting was hearing her say she loves me.

"He's a sweet slave.", she talked like I wasn't even here! Worse, like I'm some pony who can't understand what they're saying.

"He's afraid.", she pointed out as they looked down at my face, which I'm sure is tear streaked right now.

"It's alright.", Kevin breathed, the back of his fingers stroking my cheek, feeling the wetness there, "I'll be good to him, Victoria. I promise."

"I know.", she said and I closed my eyes, hearing a pained little sound come out of me.

Sir Kevin was touching my lips with his thumb and I heard myself panting for air.

"Let me say goodbye and he's all yours.", I heard Victoria say and Sir Kevin walked around behind me, far into the room to give us some privacy.

If ever there was a chance to beg like a dog, it was now.

"Victoria, please, please…" I breathed, shaking like a leaf now, against my will, "Don't do this, PLEASE!! I'll do anything you say, I swear!"

She ignored my pleas and shut me up by kissing me deeply, her tongue probing inside as I struggled to hold onto the bug under my own tongue.

"Sir Kevin is very nice.", she said after she broke our kiss, "You be a good boy for him and I'll see you tonight. I promise."

I feel like a kindergartener being left on the first day of school!

"Please, don't.", I pleaded, tears blurring my vision as I left all dignity behind, "I'm sorry! I love you, Victoria, please…please? I want you…I love you…I love you so much."

Bella, please, please don't listen, don't hate me. I don't mean it, I have to! I'll say anything to escape this!!

I was trying to kiss her again, to reach her but she straightened up, smiling down at me as I became a whimpering puppy.

"I love you, too, Edward.", she touched the dent in my chin, "That's why I have to discipline you when you're not behaving. This will be good for you. Remember what you are…and who you belong to. When I come back, we'll talk."

"No, please, don't leave me, Victoria. Don't leave me here!", I blinked and felt more tears spill out, I clanked my chains as I began to struggle a little, really believing it now…she was going to leave me with this guy all day!

"You should thank me I'm leaving you with a nice master.", she ran her hands down my neck, resting them again on my shoulders, "I could have given you to a mean one. An ugly one. Don't keep begging. You're making Sir Kevin feel bad. Make me proud. Be a good boy."

She backed away a step or two, her eyes staring into mine with desire in them. Again, she looked so aroused it made me sick. She likes seeing the fear, loves seeing me cry like a child, and I'll bet she adored it when I confessed my love for her. And she calls Bella a cunt.

"Thank me, Edward.", she ordered with an angelic voice.

I shuddered, wanting nothing more than to drink her blood as I danced around her seizing, dieing body. But I knew if I didn't obey, she could have another man here for me tomorrow.

I tried to hide my hatred for her, not sure how good I had done, and panted, "Thank you, Victoria."

She smiled at me and then looked up, behind me, beaming at Sir Kevin.

"See?", she asked, "He's really a sweetheart."

I felt his fingernails softly moving in large ovals around my shoulder blade behind me as he replied, just as sweetly as she had, "We'll be fine. I'll go slow."

UGH!! This is the one thing I swore would never happen to me. The one nightmare I had managed to escape…until now. I tried to cling to my bravery and to recall my words to Bella. If this is what I have to do to be free, for you, for Katie, I'll do it.

God, please, strike me dead now…or knock me out or something!! Anything!!

Victoria looked at me again and repeated, "I love you, Edward."

And then she left, closing and then locking the door behind her. I felt myself wonder if Sir Kevin was alright with being locked in here all day, too. Or maybe she gave him a key. I wish I could ask but I couldn't risk it. Besides, I had more terrifying things on my mind.

After a minute of silence, I heard Sir Kevin far behind me, giving me a little space to calm down.

"You can relax, now, your Mistress is gone.", he tried to comfort me. Little did he know it wasn't her that bothered me.

I didn't answer, knowing no amount of begging to HIM would do me any good. I was screwed and I knew it. Sir Kevin was off on the other side of the room, preparing something I didn't want to see, and something in me told me now was a good time to plant the bug somewhere, when Victoria was gone and no one was looking.

But then I thought of Charlie, listening to a day of a man raping me, teaching me how he liked his cock sucked, and hours of depraved shit that I'd have to perform through.

I can't. I can't let anyone hear this. I'm sorry Charlie.

I moved the square out from under my tongue and shoved it up onto one of my back teeth. Sorry, Bella. Don't be scared. I'll come out when I have my proof. We don't need a bug.

And I bit down hard, feeling it crack between my teeth and splinter as I bit down again and swallowed the tiny fragments down.

Suddenly, his voice was right behind me and when he spoke, I jumped slightly.

"You don't have to be afraid of me, Edward.", he said, softly, his hands massaging my shoulders, his lips hot against my shoulder blade as I tensed, wincing, trying to control my quick breathing.

"I like you.", his voice floated like mist behind me and he slowly moved around me, standing in front of me as his eyes seemed to dance over my face.

His fingers slowly traced over my lips as I heaved out the air from my lungs.

"You are so beautiful.", he said, sounding as if he meant it, "Your eyes…your skin…your nose…"

He ran a playful finger down my nose and dotted it on the tip as I jerked backwards, not able to really go anywhere with my cuffs and chains holding me into position.

This guy doesn't seem like some evil, sick rapist type. But still, he knows I don't want this but he's here anyway. He's just trying to soften his attack with nice words and tender fingers. That just makes it worse. I'd rather get punched bloody in the face and taken that way. At least it's more honest. This guy acts like we're soul mates or something.

"Your mouth…", he touched my lips again with his thumb and added, "So soft. Such a kissable mouth…"

He leaned down and opened his lips, about to touch mine with them but I jerked my head away, feeling the pull of the chains behind my neck, cringing in pain as they pulled with my struggle.

"No, no, Edward…" he warned gently, rubbing the area beneath the collar, "Don't hurt yourself struggling. We don't have to kiss yet if you don't want to. I understand."

"I was a slave, too, Edward.", he shared, his hands stroking me as I quivered more noticeably, "I know what it is to suffer. I don't want to hurt you, angel. I just want to please you…and receive pleasure from you, if you want to give it. I'm patient. I'm gentle. And I want you. You're so gorgeous, Edward. Do you know that?"

I blinked again, and my eyes betrayed my crumbling tough glare. Tears again.

I wish this guy was gross and disgusting and would just do it and get it over with. But

I'm sure this was what Victoria had in mind. A slow, drawn out day of pure shit, a soft lover who just rubbed it in my face, telling me he cared and found me so beautiful. This was her version of a sick joke. And I was the brunt of it.

"Please don't cry.", he said, cupping my face and leaning in, kissing my tears, "I promise not to hurt you. Don't cry."

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

EPOV

I closed my eyes as my forehead rested on the bars of my cage and heavy tears trailed down my face from both eyes this time, the soft orange light keeping me company as I tried to forget my day.

Then, the boy's face came to my mind…he was crying…and screaming and bleeding. I made my mind refocus and concentrate on the whole reason I was doing this. What right did I have to sit here in this cage, crying and feeling sorry for myself when he had paid the ultimate price in this very room? I had to make it right. Tanya…I'm so sorry for treating you the way I did. I know you were doing your best. Please help Bella now, don't watch anything that's happening to me.

Comfort Bella. Help her focus on her classes and her work. Keep her safe. Keep her far away from here.

Sir Kevin had left me about an hour ago. He had informed me it was about dinnertime and that he'd try to get me something to eat. I had not seem him since. I roughly rubbed my lips again, trying to rid myself of his taste, the smell of his cologne still all over me, the calm, caring sounds of his voice still mocking me in my mind.

I clutched my hair tight, sniffing as I noticed my legs were still shaking.

"Stop.", I said aloud to them, putting a hand on my thigh.

I could hear the padlock outside and then the other lock being opened and I wiped my eyes with two fast hands, not wanting to hear her taunts about being in here, crying, after my blind date with Sir Kevin. It's going to take a lot of acting to make her feel that I don't hate her after today.

The white light went on as my eyes clenched, blinded from the sudden glare.

Victoria came inside and closed the door behind her, holding a roll and a bottle of water, smirking at me as if she was bringing me a four star dinner.

I kept my eyes down, praying to someone – anyone for help remaining on my course. I have to play nice now. I have to be in love with this world class Queen of the Bitches.

"How're you doing, doodlebug?", she asked, feigning concern.

Doodlebug? Fuck you!

"I'm alright.", I lied, keeping my eyes on my legs as she neared the right side of my cage.

"Eat, sweetie.", she offered the roll and I took it without looking at her. I couldn't. If I do, I'll tear her throat out and be trapped in here for who knows how long?

"Thank you, Victoria.", I did my best to sound grateful for the roll and then she handed me the water bottle. I ate the roll, trying to take tiny bites after her comment about how I eat like a pig and I'm so fat bullshit. I just look healthy and not bony and that drives her god damn nuts.

No butter on the roll. God, I hate you, Victoria. I hope I get to see you eat bread and water when you're in your orange prison uniform.

"Does anything hurt?", she was looking at me, feeling sorry for me now? God I want to tell her to go fuck herself so badly.

"No.", I lied.

"Who do you belong to, Edward?", she crossed her arms, raising a brow.

"You, Victoria.", I kept my eyes on my roll, not putting much emotion into the words.

"Say you love me.", she smiled.

"I love you, Victoria.", I half lifted my eyes to hers…then sank them back down into my cage.

She came closer to the bars of my cage and said, "Look at me, Edward."

I raised my eyes all the way up to hers now and she stared back at me, thick sympathy in her eyes.

"I know you're hurt…and upset…and in shock.", she said, "And I don't blame you. I don't want to punish you that way ever again. But you did deserve it. I'm not as stupid as you might think, Edward. Eat your dinner…and I'll come back later. I have to get upstairs, the club is opening soon. Take a little nap after you eat."

I drank all the water in the bottle after the roll was gone and right away I scolded myself for that. I would have to piss later and I'm sure that would be used against me as a punishment, too. What if something was in that water? Something to put me to sleep and when I wake up, I'll be in Raven's basement? Oh God, no. Stay awake! Don't fall asleep! What if the water was fine and I'm just torturing myself for no reason?

I wonder if Emmett's upstairs. I hope Bella didn't call him after my bug broke. He can't come in here, he has no key. I hope he doesn't try to come near here. He'll get in trouble.

I began to think up different ways of killing Victoria and before I knew it, I was curled up in the bottom of the cage, wishing I had a blanket, smiling to myself as I poured gasoline over a tied up Victoria, listening to her beg me for her life as I waited, playing with my lighter, letting her think about it for awhile before I moved to click the lighter on.

I even drifted off to sleep a few times but the light was too bright. I wish the red light would go on or all the lights would just go off completely, letting me have a wonderful black void. In this world, it would be a blessing to be blind.

I don't know how much time had passed, but after an eternity, I heard the locks being opened again. I moved to sit up in the cage, rubbing my eye and wincing at my sore muscles. They had gotten used to soft beds at night, of warmth and not curling doubled over while I slept. Bella Swan had spoiled me rotten.

Bella Swan…seemed like eons away from me now…like Venus.

"Wakey, wakey, sleepy head.", Victoria's voice was nearby as my eyes rose up a bit, and she was there, opening my cage, walking away from it, towards the other end of the vast room, ordering, "Come out, kneel in the center."

Time to perform for my owner.

I crawled out of the cage and kept moving on all fours to the middle of the room, raising my hands off the floor and folding them tight behind me, kneeling there, making sure my posture was right. Eyes down.

In my heart, I wanted to leap up and grab her from behind, savagely squeeze her throat with my arm as I demanded my blood sample and then locked her in the cage. But Victoria would die first. She was smart but also psychotic. She wouldn't listen to reason or see that she was trapped. She'd enjoy the fight. She'd win and Bella would pay. Katie would pay. Just wait, I told myself. You will have your moment. Be patient.

"Was Sir Kevin good to you, Edward?", she asked as she walked closer to me.

"Yes, Victoria.", I replied, trying not to sound so dead inside, wishing she'd just let me try to forget it, wishing she'd stop playing with me on this subject.

"He was very pleased with you.", she was petting my hair and I tried to make myself act as if I enjoyed her touch. I closed my eyes and leaned my head a bit into her hand, giving a small mmmmmm sound.

"He offered to buy you from me.", she chuckled, "What do you think about that, pet?"

"Please…no…", I breathed, "I want to be yours. I don't want to belong to anyone else. I love you, Victoria…my Mistress…"

Please let her believe that, I don't know if I delivered that line very successfully, but I felt her fingers on my cheek and I laid it on thicker, daring to make my lips cover her hand with kisses.

She let her hand remain there, receiving my attention as I began to lick her thin fingers, kissing the warm, wet digits before me.

"What about your girlfriend?", she sneered jealously above me as I kept kissing the other side of her hand now.

"I don't have a girlfriend, I'm your slave. Your slave forever.", I poured it on, hoping I wasn't going too over the top.

"I don't know, Edward.", she said, unconvinced, "You looked pretty damn happy with that girl last week…and you defied me to protect her. I think you like her too much."

"No.", I heard my voice lower and deepen as I began to tell the darkest lies I could, "I was working. I don't care about her. She couldn't even fuck properly, I had to teach her everything. I'm tired after two weeks with her. She was a whiny little brat. Skinny little college nerd. I couldn't wait to come home. I missed you so much, Victoria. Please…"

She took a step or two away from me, making me stop in mid-kiss as her hand disappeared from my mouth.

I hope she believed my rant about Bella. I didn't want Bella ever to be in any danger of feeling the wrath of Victoria.

"Why did you step in front of her that night, Edward?", she took something off the wall and was strolling back over to me.

"Her father is a police chief.", I answered quietly, "I didn't want to risk losing you. I was afraid you'd get caught and arrested."

That sounds reasonable, right? It needs a little more.

"She also told me that her father has hurt suspects before.", I added, "He does whatever he likes with people that piss him off. He shot one man in the hand during an interrogation. I was protecting you, Victoria."

"Hmm.", she just answered as she began pinching my right nipple, bending down and licking it, biting it as I hissed out.

Then she opened a silver nipple clamp that had alligator teeth in them and let the teeth close around my hardened nipple. I gave a low groan, closing my eyes, handling the familiar pain, used to this type of anguish.

I didn't struggle or make any more noise as she licked my left nipple now, biting mercilessly until it was standing up, erect, ready for it's clamp. I felt the metal teeth bite and I sucked in a breath, holding it.

"Better.", she said, looking me over and then I felt a little zap of electric. Not much…just enough to jerk my body in surprise.

She laughed and kissed my forehead, as if she was sorry for playing some little joke on me.

"Kiss me.", she looked down and her lips were right above mine.

I devoured her mouth, rising upon my knees as much as possible as my tongue lapped at hers and my wet kiss worked hard to inhale her inside. I closed my eyes and imagined Bella's breasts…her cute little ass that blushed when she did. I felt my cock harden like a servant of her image and felt relieved. I have to convince Victoria of my loyalty again. I have to make her feel that I love her. I have to get her trust back.

I dared to speak, hoping I wouldn't be punished too hard for it.

"There's only you, Victoria.", I whispered and groaned as I kissed her, "I ache, thinking that I displeased you. I don't want anyone else. Just you. Hurt me….rape me…starve me…do anything as long as you want. Just don't let me go…please…keep me. I would die without you."

I have to be careful, I think I'm going too far now. But then I heard Victoria's voice moan and realized she's liking it.

I felt the jolts of electricity again and I moaned out, licking my tongue along Victoria's bottom lip, closing and sucking my lips over it.

"You will work hard to make me forgive you, yes?", she nuzzled my nose with hers.

"Yes, Victoria…God, yes!", I pleaded.

"You're the best pet I've ever had.", she kissed my lips and had her hands in my hair, "I love you, Edward."

"I love you, Victoria.", I whispered, returning her kiss.

"I'm sorry I had to give you to Sir Kevin today.", she said in my ear.

"I deserved it.", I said quickly, "I don't want to forget how lucky I am. To be yours is my life. Thank you for caring enough to show me that."

I could hardly say the words without retching but I think I delivered them well. Victoria reached down and found my massive erection, curling her hand around it, under the head.

"My horse.", she smirked as she pumped it in her hand.

I groaned, wincing slightly as I dropped my eyes to it, feeling another little jab of metallic shock into my nipples. That just made me harder as she worked my cock roughly.

"You're not allowed to cum.", she warned, "You're not out of the doghouse yet, boy."

"Yes, Victoria.", I closed my eyes, thinking of nuns and Sir Kevin's fingers in my mouth.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

BPOV

Today had to be the worst day of my entire life. And I've had some pretty fucked up days before.

After two and a half hours of crying, Rosalie and Alice pulled my ass off my kitchen floor and made me go take a shower. And then as I stood there, naked, under the hot water pouring over me, I sobbed for another 30 minutes as I tried to wash. I kept seeing wet Edward before me, washing my body, kissing my kneecaps.

_You've been neglected, Bella….but I'm here now._

"Bella, don't make me come in there.", Alice warned through the door.

What's happening to him now? Is he screaming now? Bleeding? Afraid? How the fuck can I go to school or even take a shower, forgetting for one second that he's being tortured right now?!! How did he think I'd really be able to function in these next few days?!! He must think I'm made of steel or something.

I wanted to call Emmett but Edward made me promise not to do that unless it was an absolute emergency. Emmett is as trapped by Victoria as Edward is at the moment. I wanted to call my dad and ask him what's happening to Edward now. But then I was so afraid to know. Then I told myself I should know. I am his doctor, after all. I should be brave and face it. But then I'd start crying all over again.

I don't even remember the walk to school. I think Rosalie just pulled my arm the whole way and I just followed like a dumb sheep.

I sat there, in classes, like a coma victim. I didn't hear a word any of my professors said. I feel dead. Only worse. The dead have peace. I don't.

Rosalie and Alice hung out with me after school at my apartment and they stayed for dinner, ordering us our usual pizza – everything on it. I avoided my bedroom as I took a couple bites, not talking, staring into space, imagining what could be happening to him now. I'm sure I was no fun at all for my friends but I couldn't even make myself care.

Alice mentioned after dinner that we were going to have a sleepover tonight, in my bed.

She tried to make it sound fun, as if we were all teenagers again. But I quickly squashed that idea, saying I really just wanted to be alone. I'm not sure if they were hurt or not, but after what seemed like a thousand years, they were hugging me and saying, "See you tomorrow, Bells."

They waited on the other side until they heard me lock everything and even put the chain across the door. Like that would stop anyone who wanted to get me. I almost wish she would have someone come get me. I'd rather be hurt beside Edward than to remain here, desperately worried and in the dark without him.

I have to face it. Okay, Bella. Take a deep breath. Go into your room.

I went into the dark room and clicked on my little bedside lamp, noticing some things on my made bed, upon the white, blue and pink quilt Edward loved to snuggle in.

I sat on the bed, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear as I looked over the items. The friendship ring I gave him. The bear claw necklace. A little slip of paper that read 'Love is the best medicine for a broken heart.' And there was a little piece of paper, a page torn out of my notebook.

I opened it and read:

_Bella,_

_Please guard my most prized possessions. And please also look after my heart. I've left it here with you. _

_I love you forever._

_Edward._

Great, just when I thought I couldn't cry anymore. Here I go again.

With shaking hands, I put the ring on my middle finger, like a wedding ring. I put the necklace on, hoping it would bring me courage and bear like power. I read his short note again and smiled, loving him even more. I turned it over, glancing, and saw my own handwriting there.

_I adore you_., it said.

I remember writing this the day I was listening to him sing in the shower. The Music of the Night.

Beneath my words was Edward's writing again.

_Right back at you, Dr. Bella._

I fell asleep crying that night, holding my note as I stared at Edward's fortune, my finger lightly moving over it again and again. I hope the statement is true. Now I have a broken heart. And only Edward can bring the medicine I need. I'll try to be brave and wait. He waited years before I found him.

I had called Charlie a couple times and left messages. He never answered his cell phone and I hated that. You'd think him being a cop he'd know better. He knew I was going crazy worrying. He could call me!! I was fuming at him for hours and it wasn't until 2am that I received a text message from him.

Evrythng OK – Don't worry. Call u tomorrow. Dad

That's it?! Everything's ok?! You prick!! My dad's probably enjoying listening to him suffer.

No, that's not right. I know he's not like that. He's just trying to ease my mind. I wish he'd just tell me the straight truth.

I closed my eyes and knew Edward would never hear me or my thoughts. But I sent them to him anyway.

Edward. I miss you so much. I love you. I hope you're not in any pain. I hope you're sleeping. I hope you're warm. I hope you're comfortable. I hope you're not afraid. I hope you know you're not alone. You were right. We are together, always. I'm with you, suffering right along with you. You will never be alone in anything ever again. I am with you. Even in Hell…I am with you. I will never leave you.

Good night, Freed Eagle. Sleep now, my only love.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

EPOV

I growled deeply as she kept riding on it, not having any mercy for my jaw or face as she slammed down harder and harder with each bounce.

I was laid out on the padded leather table, my wrists cuffed at my sides and my ankles trapped at the bottom of the table, spread wide apart. My nipples still wore their metal clips and now I also had one biting into my balls and a couple on my inner thighs.

Every so often I'd get a little shock from every clip at once. And now that Victoria was having fun, there was no way to predict their pattern. I think she'd just randomly hitting the controller any way her fingers fall on it now. Sometimes it would be a little jolt, a prickling of heat…other times it would be pure fire, long bursts of violent heat coursing through my body.

I held a vibrating black dildo end in my mouth, the other end pointed high up over my face as she moved up and down around it, holding a soft handle that dangled from the ceiling to support her weight as she kept fucking it, not allowing my own penis that pleasure as I was still being punished. This was a way for her to rub it in my face that I could fuck her somehow but not experience any of the pleasure of it myself.

Truly, it was the easiest thing I've had to do all day. Besides a hurting jaw, I didn't mind this. I didn't have to fuck her and that was perfect for me. And the shocks…a welcome treat after the day I had with Sir Kevin.

I growled and grunted as I tried to hold the dildo in place, the vibrating of it making my teeth feel numb.

She was screaming and jerking with spasms as she came all the way down on the plastic penis, her wet lips right above my full mouth as I closed my eyes and waited for her to finish her orgasm.

After a couple minutes, she lifted herself off of the slick, shiny penis and sighed happily as she looked down at me, still holding it, not moving until I was instructed to do so. My eyes looked at her, trying to convey desire.

"Wow.", she breathed, straddling my chest and sitting her moist pussy on me. She took hold of the dildo with the tips of her fingers, and said, "Open."

I obeyed and she pulled it out of my sore mouth, keeping it in her hand as she said, "Let me see the teeth."

I felt like an animal as I put my teeth together and let her examine them. She touched them carefully and said, "Open up." Then she looked around at my back teeth for a couple minutes more.

"Good.", she said, "Your teeth cost me a small fortune."

I kissed her, acting hungry for her as she broke away after a minute.

"Open.", she said again and I obeyed as she turned the dildo around, "Suck."

I moaned as the plastic head grazed the back of my tongue, her hand driving the cock hard inside. The thick taste of Victoria coated my tongue as I licked around the plastic shaft as she moved the dildo deep in and then almost all the way out as I sucked greedily and wetly on it.

"Yes…", she smiled down at me as I gave a muffled sound of pleasure, gagging a bit when she pushed the head to my limit and then venturing a bit further, testing me.

"Did you suck Sir Kevin this way?", she taunted, and I felt rage starting to build up in me again.

It's one thing she had a man attack me and have his way with me all day today, but now she was joking and teasing me about it.

"Mmmmm.", I said, as my response.

I jerked again, my body feeling hot fire flying through my veins as she moved the dildo faster in and out of my well lubricated mouth as my lips clung to the shaft.

"Oooh, so pretty," she commented, watching my face closely, "I wish I had a cock you could suck on."

You don't?

I was slurping on it and suddenly it was jerked out of my mouth and replaced by Victoria's red pussy that covered my mouth and almost blocked my nostrils. I gave a little noise of discomfort as my tongue moved furiously inside her wet folds, hoping she'd allow me air if I pleased her. She'd just cum, so it shouldn't be hard to do this quickly.

She rose up and turned around, sitting on my face as she looked down on my chest now, twisting the nipple clamp cruelly as her ass covered my eyes and nose, my mouth getting a sliver of air now and then as I wiggled my tongue wetly against her.

"Mmmmm yes, baby.", she panted, opening one nipple clamp and removing it as I screamed out into her lips, the sudden release brought a rush of blood and wicked pain with it.

I tried to quell my screams but she stroked my throbbing nipple, licking her fingers and stroking them harder, helping to ease the pain a bit.

"There you go, sweetie.", she soothed, "Shhhh….good boy…my baby."

She sucked and licked the nipple and my screams quieted. I returned to focus on my job and lapped my tongue in deeper, hearing her gasping and grinding against my mouth.

I needed more air so I started nibbling any soft area I could reach.

Moving her hands to the other nipple clamp, I heard myself whimper, anticipating the pain about to come when she tore this one off next.

"I know, I know…", she cooed, "Be brave."

She opened the clamp and I roared out, feeling my fists balling up tightly at my sides, a clang of the chains as I jerked my wrists and tried to pull my feet up off the table.

I was growling and roaring as she kissed my lower torso and I felt her mouth on the head of my cock, licking and swirling hot wetness around it.

"I shouldn't.", she said, "But I'm too soft on you."

And she was sucking my hard cock, trying to ease the pain of my nipple…and then I felt her flicking the one attached to my balls.

"MMMMM!!!", I moaned and wordlessly begged with pathetic noises at the same time, "MMMMMM!!!!"

She was sucking me in deeper and moved faster up and down me as she opened the teeth and I arched my entire back up, lifting her with me as I hollered and tensed, feeling my ass hit the leather and then jerking up again.

I felt wetness in my eyes as I swallowed up a gulp of air, then got right back to twirling my tongue and licking up the sides…

Victoria was massaging and working my balls with one hand as I began to calm down and reach my tongue down, searching for the clit, Victoria's favorite spot.

I wanted her off me but I almost forgot there were a couple more clips on my inner thighs.

She stopped sucking my cock, and I frowned internally, knowing she wouldn't give me any release since I'd "been bad."

"Hold on, pet.", she whispered, touching the next clamp, "It'll all be over soon."

From your sick mouth to God's fucking ears.

I waited and then came the immediate wave of pain again. I was glad she was allowing me to scream. I hollered out without words, bucking my hips, hoping it would dull the intense pain.

No more…God, please…no more tonight. But I knew there would be more. There always was, with Victoria. This was just day one.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

See next chapter soon!

Love WinndSinger


	29. One Thing She Does Not Know

29

EPOV

My legs are so fucking sore. I try again to flex them, bending each of them up behind me, using my hand and holding for a few seconds…then the other. That's a little better. But I walk a couple more steps, feeling the jerk of the chain stop me again.

I turn and take a step or two the other way, not wanting to keep walking but it's better than just standing in one spot. Keep the blood flowing. Walk.

I can feel the drool from the sides of my mouth and it's traveled all the way past my neck and onto my chest now. It must be hours since Victoria left me here alone. Or maybe it just seems like it.

My aching jaw throbs again, reminding me of the black rubber ball holding my lips open. It's tightly in place near the back of my mouth and the chain coming out of the ball is linked to something overhead that allows me to pace back and forth a few steps in the center of the room, but not letting me touch anything I could see. The evidence I needed was far out of reach right now, even though I had my hands and legs free.

Without thinking, my fingers touched the thin chains that dug into my cheeks too tightly, making imprints into the flesh, connecting behind my neck with a nice heavy padlock. I heard myself give a whimper as I again tried to get my fingers under the chains across my face, even if only to massage the skin and muscles underneath that were also not enjoying their tight restraints.

Still no use. I even tried to suck my cheeks in and do it but that didn't work, either. I shouldn't even be trying to get it off. If I do and can't get it back on when she comes back, I'm dead meat.

So I'm gagged and the gag is secured above me. I can't even look down if I wanted to. I can look straight ahead and up, but nothing lower than that. I can't lay down, I can't sit down, can't even kneel, not that I want to. I'm so tired. I didn't sleep all night and I think it's the next day now.

I tried to get to the wall, maybe I could lean on it. That didn't work either. Can't reach the walls. DAMN! All I can do is stand and walk. And my stomach can gurgle. That's about it.

Victoria…she could make me suffer even when she's not here. She's probably sleeping right now at home…or shopping. A lot of her punishments are like this. Nothing that will hurt me physically, nothing that will show on the outside…only inside. Starvation…difficult positions to endure for hours alone…humiliation. I hope no more male doms are in my future. I won't let it happen to me twice. I'll struggle…I'll fight to the death before that happens to me again.

Charlie's probably so pissed off at me right now. I wonder what he's doing. Don't come in here, Charlie. Don't. Don't tell Bella, either. She's probably worried enough right now.

The chain jerks again and I turn, taking my exhausted steps as the locked door smirks at me now, mighty and mocking at my nude slave body, completely free except for the gag and chains, yet as trapped as a rat in his cage.

I rub my eyes, wishing they didn't hurt so much from lack of sleep. I close them, my steps memorized by my chain as I almost sleep walk. Enjoy this time to yourself, my mind says, it's better than having Victoria here. Well, that's true. But I would give anything to lay down for a few minutes, even if it's on the hard floor.

I'm thirsty. And hungry. And I'll have to piss in awhile. I'll have to go on the cement floor if she doesn't come soon. And I'll get punished for that, too. Just like she wants. I had to drink that whole bottle of water right down. God, I'm stupid.

And I'm so god damn sick of walking back and forth here!! This is enough to drive me insane!! I bet I won't see her all day. I just have to endure it. Until the next fun position she puts me in.

I tried to exercise my arms a little, instead of letting them hang there like sausages, I stretched myself from side to side, arching my back a few times, massaging my thigh muscles and calves as best I could, what I could reach.

God, how much longer?!! I feel like I've been in here for DAYS, walking back and forth like a trapped animal!!

I heard myself starting to growl and groan out loud, voicing my displeasure and discomfort. And again, I start to yank and pull hard on the chains digging into the sensitive corners of my mouth, almost cutting into my cheekbones as I shout out and give up again, not getting any relief at all, my fists curling at my sides as I begin to take bigger, more angry steps, shortening each pace before I must turn and continue it again.

I even fantasized with the idea of grabbing the chain coming out of the ball in my mouth and yanking it down as hard as my weight would allow. But no, I can't let there be any evidence of my doing that when she comes back in. I can't even show her my anger and yell at her. I hate that most of all.

I picture the scene in my head, myself, freed of the gag as the taste of blood from my lip corners replaces the dry emptiness that was there before. She smirks at me, waiting for my soft, affectionate voice. But she doesn't get it. Instead, I shout, "Thanks for the fucking rest, BITCH!"

She glares and lunges her arm, a whip coming at me. I catch it in my hand, feeling the cut and the wet blood across my palm, but I'm used to pain. I curl it around her neck and spin her back to my chest.

She gasps and instantly tenses as I close the whip around her thin, snake neck and cut off her air. Her perfect fingernails claw behind her at me but I'm out of her reach.

"DIE you cunt!", I growl into her ear, the last words she'll ever hear, "DIE!!"

My eyes open as I come to, the chain jerking again, making me turn slowly and begin again. I feel like I may fall down soon if I have to keep this up.

A couple knocks tap on the door and I turn my head, my brow creasing at the sound.

Who's knocking here? It's daytime. The club should be empty now.

I wait, to see if it happens again. Maybe I am losing my mind.

The knock sounds again, a bit louder.

"Edward?", a man's voice is out there, "It's Emmett!"

"RRRRRRR!!!!", I call back, muffled in the gag, but even I can hear the desperate shout in my voice.

Fuck! I turn towards the door and walk until I can't anymore. I am so far from the door.

My hands go to the back of my head again, uselessly playing with the padlock imprisoning me. I whimper and give up again.

"Gagged, huh?", he asked, knowing only too well.

"MMMMMM!!!!", I tried to sound less pained than before.

"Alright.", he said, "Hands free?"

I tried to say yes but with the ball in my mouth it came out as "MMMSSSSS"

I can't reach anything. Sometimes I'd tap on the cage if I was in it and gagged. Two taps for yes…one for no. This was not the first time Emmett checked on me in here while Victoria was away.

I clapped twice, loudly, relieved that at least we could communicate somehow.

I wanted to tell him not to risk getting caught but I'm sure he wasn't. He was smart and knew Victoria even better than I did.

"Good.", his voice said clearly, "Are you alright?"

I clapped twice, saying yes. I was going crazy and sore, but basically, I was okay.

I heard him jerking on the padlock and giving the door an angry kick and he was saying, "I wish I could get in there, man. I'm sorry. Did she give you anything to eat?"

I clapped once. Well, I had a stale roll but that was yesterday.

"Bitch!", he seethed outside, kicking the door again.

I clapped once. No, Emmett! Don't kick the door or damage it, she'll see! Just go back upstairs, I'll be alright.

He quieted out there and I heard him breathing a little heavier. He really sounded upset that I was being punished. He's really a great friend. I feel a little better, knowing there's someone this close who cares, even if he can't get in.

"Hang in there, Edward. I'll try to come back later.", he said, sounding as if he wished he could give more, but it was enough. It gave me strength. It kept me going.

And I walked again.

He didn't say anything about Bella. I guess she didn't call him. Good. I wonder what Charlie is doing out there now. I hope he doesn't try to come in here somehow.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Charlie's POV

Alright – the bug is dead. Deal with it. Watch the club. It looks like Victoria, the red headed woman Edward told me about had left early this morning, and there had been no one going in or coming out…until now.

A tall, dark haired guy. I took some notes. Cropped black hair, large build, muscular. A dancer maybe. Most likely. This could be the kid they described to me as…Emmett, my notes said. Edward considers this guy a friend. He's the only one in there now, besides Edward. Maybe I'd see some action here soon. Maybe he'd free Edward. He was in the dungeon, most likely.

I checked the garbage and dumpsters and they were all body free. Edward's chip still located him here in the club, so he must be in there. This guy going in is probably there to check on Edward, make sure he's alright. I hope he's not coming in to torture Edward, maybe get some information out of him.

Time to take a walk around the back of the club and make sure no one's coming out that way.

I use the neighborhood streets to sneak me around that side of the club.

My cell phone vibrates again. I look at it as I walk and see Bella's name. Again? Damn it, Bella, I'm trying to work a case here. Alone, with no backup or relief. I know you care for this kid, but please, let me do my job. I hate lying to her and saying everything's fine. She can see right through that one. She has before. If something doesn't happen tomorrow to give me some clue as to what's going on in there, I'll have to tell her the truth. And find a way in.

If anything happens to this kid, she'll never forgive me. I have to pay attention and be patient. I can't talk now, Bella. I don't answer my phone again, leaving her in the dark.

I wish I had a beer right now. But, no, I'm on duty. Doesn't this place have a man's night or something? I could be a customer, although I don't know if I could make myself look glad about seeing a bunch of guys grinding their junk onstage.

Maybe I can put on a leather vest and ask the dark haired dancer about that. I could appear to be new in town, just curious.

But then, I notice something strange as I walk down Brewster Avenue, towards the back of the club. I squint, my cop senses picking up something…and I walk towards him…ready to proceed with caution…ready to ask a couple questions.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

BPOV

I'm in class and again, my father has chosen not to answer my call. I hate you, Charlie!

No, I don't.

But I'm pissed as Hell at you!! Tell me SOMETHING, DAMN YOU !!

I'm in Psych class, listening to Edward's voice on tape one – session one. We are all silently reviewing our subject's tapes, taking notes on what we hear now as they play.

I remember that first day…after he almost left my place, after finding out that I wanted to study him, and after we agreed to both having equal time with each other….his words were in my heart, still…always.

"_I am ready, Dr. Bella." he said with a calm voice, "You may have your way with my brain…and later, my body. Although I think you may enjoy one more than the other."_

_He snickered, peeking at me like a little boy. I couldn't help smiling at him, even in my memories his laugh is wonderful…and I can see that face…he is so cute when he laughs._

"_Alright." I began, hitting the record button and saying, "Edward Cullen – Session One."_

"_Just Edward." He said firmly, "Edward…okay?"_

_His eyes did not look insulted, just asking._

"_Alright, Edward – Session One." I corrected, "It bothers you when I use your last name?"_

"_I don't have a last name when I'm working." He still used a nice voice, staring up at the ceiling._

_Family issues._

"_Do you have a family?" I asked._

_He closed his eyes and I could tell he already was having a hard time._

"_No, I landed here in a spaceship when I was three." He said, dripping with sarcasm._

"_Edward…" I almost grinned._

"_My parents knew my planet was going to explode so they put me in this little ship…" he continued, smirking a little, his eyes glancing at me._

_I had to be patient and understanding with him. I was trying._

_Avoidance._

_I waited, not saying anything until he decided to speak again. He still had my check in his back pocket. I wanted to bring that up but then I didn't. I had to let him come to me._

"_Yes I had a family." He said quietly, his eyes closed again._

"_Had…" I repeated, "What happened to them?"_

"_Nothing." He gave a little sigh, "I mean…I don't know. I don't see them anymore."_

_That didn't surprise me._

"_Do they know about…you working at Fire?" I asked, wishing this sounded more like a real conversation and not me just firing questions at him. This is why I needed these assignments. I had to get better at this. Practice would be the only way to do it._

"_No." he kept his eyes closed, "I don't think so. I started working there after I lost contact with them."_

_Hmm. Something else broke him away from his family. Interesting._

"_Edward…" I liked using his name, I wanted him to feel comfortable talking to me, "What was it that caused you to stop talking to your family?"_

"_Can I ask you…some questions…after I answer one of yours?" he looked over at me, those eyes of his…could I really say no to anything he wanted?_

_Is that professional? Patients don't get to ask their doctors personal questions._

"_Please?" he added._

I stopped the tape and was back in the present, without him, and tears were rolling down my face. This is where I had crossed the line, the line between just being an observer to being his friend, loving him…letting him inside me…as I tried to reach inside of him. It was professionally wrong. But even now, I can't regret it. He's different now. But is he better off for it? He's in a dungeon right now, having terrible things done to him! What have I done? I let him go!

And why won't my father call me back?!! What if something horrible's happened to him?

"My turn." Edward was saying on the tape now, and I remembered him as he smiled at me, looking me up and down.

"Okay." I answered, sounding nervous.

"Have you ever had an orgasm?" his voice blurted out. And as I heard it I laughed out loud, the tears still in my eyes as I heard my shocked reaction back then.

"God!" I gasped, sounding like a school marm.

What'dya know? Edward changed me, too. I didn't even recognize that woman's voice. That is so not me anymore. And I'm glad.

"What?" he asked innocently, "It's a yes or no question, I thought that was an easy one."

An easy one. Yes, seeing him going back to his world, now I can see that these once so difficult questions of his were very easy and light, compared to the truth of Carlisle and Esme, his daughter, his wife, Victoria.

James walked by me and laid a paper face down on my desk, going to the next student and placing one on his desk. I looked around, he was handing us back our quizzes from last week, before I took my couple days off.

I didn't feel like looking. I'd rather listen to Edward's fun, free banter, myself playing the part of tightly wound therapist to his sexy, irreverent toy. But I sighed and turned it over anyway, curious as to how I did.

A red "A" was at the top right corner of the page underlined and beneath the red line was a little note from him.

_We need to talk. Meet me at Moe's Pizza tonight – 10pm. _

I frowned but didn't look at him. I remembered his showing up at my apartment with coffee. If this was some kind of attempt at a date, I'd crush his nuts into the pepperoni. But maybe he wanted to talk about school. The classroom is the place for that, not Moe's Pizza. I folded the quiz and tucked it into my folder, hitting the play button, going back to Edward's voice.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

EPOV

I groaned as my leg cramped again, the weak tears spilling out of my eyes again as I kept walking, even though it had been hours upon hours of this. My lip was bleeding and I liked the taste of it. It was better than rubber.

Earlier, my legs gave out and I let myself fall to the floor. My lower legs leaned against the floor as I hung there, the chains digging into my skin, cutting the corners of my mouth as I screamed out, staring straight up, my entire weight being pulled on the single chain over me, jingling it's laughter at my pain.

I had to pull myself upon my feet again, my hands holding the chain coming out of my mouth to yank my tired legs up, wobbly but standing. I just stood for awhile, forgetting the fucking walking back and forth…back and forth. I stood, feeling my legs quivering and my body complaining, wanting rest…wanting sleep…wanting to lay down…just for one moment.

And still no one came.

I felt so weak I thought I'd pass out. I'm so hungry. I need water. I need this fucking ball out of my mouth!! I keep drooling and I don't even try to wipe it away anymore. I don't give a fuck anymore. I want to scream for Emmett, pride be damned. But I can't. He'll try to get in here if he thinks I'm hurt and he'll end up in here with me for it.

Against my will, and disgusting myself, I hear my voice whimper, "Victoria."

It's muffled but I can understand me. And I feel like a traitor, saying her name, wanting her to come.

Right now, while I'm in here, she is God. She is water. She is food. She is rest. She is life. She rules. And I hate it. I hate her. And again…I want her dead.

What time is it? What day is it? Have I been here two days…or three? Is it just one?

Please, Victoria, please, give me a little water!! I'll beg you, if you like that. My throat is so dry. It's sandpaper.

Another eternity passes.

I'm walking again, my eyes getting drowsier…my legs clumsier. My arms start to wrap themselves around my chest, and I'm not sure why. I need to be held, maybe. I miss Bella's arms. Katherine…Bella….Katie…Tanya…please, Tanya, you can come in here and save me. You can. Please forgive me and take me out of here.

I hear metal and locks clicking. I almost cried just from the sheer joy of the sound and that it meant someone was coming in here. I don't care who it is, the door is opening! God, yes! Thank you!

When Victoria's face enters the room I'm groaning and shivering as my arms cling to me, I'm not sure how my eyes looked to her but I couldn't even bother to disguise what I was feeling at the moment.

Exhaustion, relief, happiness…hunger, rage?

She had a bottle of water and a little brown bag in her hand and I lunged forward, wanting that bottle with all my heart. I yelled out, feeling the chain remind me of my limitations and I winced, panting without shame as I clutched the chains digging into my cheekbones, growling in pain.

"That wasn't a good idea, was it?", she smiled affectionately at my anguish, as if she'd just left me five minutes ago.

I roared out louder, sounding very hostile and angry and not giving a shit as violently struggled my head…and then I gave that up and I glared at her.

She stopped in her tracks and glared right back at me.

"This is how you thank me for bringing you dinner and some icewater?!", she frowned and shouted at me.

"Twelve hours isn't enough for you, this way?", she asked, giving me my answer.

Twelve hours she left me like this. It seemed like twelve years.

I once thought she cared for me, in some small way. But she clearly doesn't. I wouldn't do this to her or anyone for even two hours and she leaves me here for twelve?!!!

I muffled some obscenities at her through my gag and kept clawing at the chains holding this thing in my mouth. My jaw was numb and I doubted if I even could talk once this thing came off.

"Stop it!!", she yelled at me like I was a trained tiger not doing his tricks, "Stop it right now or I'll go for another twelve hours!! Calm down, Edward. Breathe."

I was panting and gasping at the same time, leaving dignity behind me again. I saw the water bottle and the moisture and wet drops of melted ice all over it as she held it and the brown bag smelled very good and was a nice medium size.

I stared at it, and let my breathing calm itself. I felt another tear drain out of my eye and cut a path down my cheek as I stopped making noise. Slowly, I took my hands off the chains on my face and placed them at my sides, loosening my fingers, not making fists anymore.

"Good boy.", she waited, watching me for a while longer before she decided to trust me.

Without moving towards me, she put the bag down on the floor with the water bottle and crossed her arms, her raised brow showing that she was still in command here, despite my outburst.

"Didn't like this, did you, boy?", she looked pleased her punishment made an impact.

Without much strength to lie, I shivered and slowly shook my head, praying to God that I could eat and drink soon.

"That's why it's called a punishment.", she instructed.

"Mmmmmm.", I responded, closing my eyes briefly as I smelled the food even stronger in my nostrils. It's hot, I think.

"Alright, Edward.", she fluffed her hair, sighing and walking up to me, standing in front of me, holding a little key in her hand.

She moved behind me, placing a kiss on my back between the shoulder blades and I heard a little click and the chain around my face loosened. Her hands held the chains that were being lifted off my face now and my poor jaw almost didn't open to let the ball out at first.

"My poor little baby.", she cooed as she got the ball out of my mouth by squeezing my cheeks together.

I breathed out in moans of relief and hurt, gulping the air without any restrictions, falling to the ground on all fours, almost heaving the clean, cool air. My legs shook violently and were cramping again and I fell again, laying on the cool, hard floor, letting my sore cheek lay against it as I wordlessly suffered at her feet.

To my amazement, she didn't scold me or grab me up to my knees. She let me lay there and I wanted to kiss her feet for the pleasure of it. I would have if I had the energy to lift my head. My eyes closed and for a second, sleep was almost more appealing to me than food and water.

"Poor little thing.", she said and I couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or sympathetic.

"Roll over, baby," she said, tapping my ass with her hand as I let out a hard breath, pushing a hand to the floor and feeling myself roll onto my back, not even caring about my nudity at this point.

She was sitting on the floor, shoes off, next to me, holding the water bottle.

"Come here. Open," she said without any hint of dominance that time, sliding her hand under my head, lifting it a bit as I opened my mouth a bit, waiting for a trick.

"Thattta boy.", she smiled as she put the bottle to my lips and I felt icy wet heaven pouring in.

I let out an orgasm sound as it ran down my throat and I swallowed. I wanted more and I felt hard as a rock now between my legs as she gave more, hearing my cumming moans as she let some run over my lips, then into my mouth as I nearly put my hands on the bottle, then put them back at my sides, wanting to do nothing to fuck this up for myself. I was getting water and I'd eat shit if she let me keep having it.

"Ughhhhh", I closed my eyes, moaning as I drank , finding my vocabulary after a few good deep sips, "Uhhhh, thank you! Thank you, Mistress!"

My words sounded slurred and lazy and my jaw ached as I spoke.

Her smile grew at this and she played with her fingernails in the back of my hair, giving a delighted little laugh as I gulped some more.

"Only you would get an erection because I'm giving you water.", she smiled, taking the water away and placing it down beside her as I whimpered under my breath, not taking my eyes off it.

"I'm sorry.", I panted, "I'm sorry."

"No, it's alright, Edward.", she was very nice today, "I like seeing you hard when I reward you. It tells me you're not faking it."

"No…no….", I was kissing her hand as she touched my swollen lips, "No…"

I kissed each finger, licking and sucking one into my mouth, thinking of nothing but getting more water and eating.

I can be strong inside later. I need food, water, and sleep first. I wonder what's in the bag. It smells good but I can't tell.

"Stay.", she pointed at my nose and took the water bottle with her as she bent over my arisen cock.

"Look at that wonderful dick.", she grabbed it at the base, around the shaft, "I've missed this talented cock."

I breathed a little harder, but didn't care what she wanted to do to me or it, I was laying down and it was fucking paradise, along with the taste of the water still in my tongue and teeth.

She poured some water over my penis and I let out a moan as the coolness stung a bit, and then as I peeked down, her mouth opened and my cock disappeared inside it.

I was groaning and grunting like a thing, not a person. It didn't matter who she was or what she'd done to me today, she was giving me pleasure now and water, the promise of food in the near future. I didn't struggle or really want to. I took the pleasure she was bringing me and I greedily thrashed and enjoyed every second of it, hating myself more every second of it.

Don't break, Edward. Something was saying inside me. You've been through worse than this, stay strong. Remember what Bella taught you. Do what you must to survive, yes, but don't break. Don't let her play you. She's the one who locked you into that gag for the last twelve hours, don't forget that. Don't fall for her soft voice and wet, hot mouth. Realize she's trying to break you. Wake up.

The slurping, wet sounds below just added to my weakness. I could hear my mind talking but my body was very weak at the moment. I tried to hold out but my orgasm was already fast approaching. My eyes kept looking at the bag of food, like a homeless dog.

"Mistress…", I growled, "May I please cum?"

"Already?", she asked as she pumped me in her hand and I felt so ashamed.

"Yes, I'm sorry Mistress.", I closed my eyes, clenching my already tight jaw.

"No.", she said with a hard tone, "I'm not done sucking you yet. Hold it back."

I whimpered and bit down, trying to hold it off, Sir Kevin flashed to mind again and I felt Victoria's mouth around me, tight and wet around my length. The memory of him sucking me helped me to last a little longer. I almost cried out now, as I did then, but I'm glad I didn't.

"Such a good boy.", she said a little later, jerking me hard in her hand now, "Cum – NOW."

I groaned and breathed, "Thank you…thank you Mistress."

And I exploded a second later, screaming and howling as I filled her mouth.

A few seconds later, she was licking me and sucking me a little more, my moans and sounds making her smile as she rubbed me there, looking down at my face.

"Ready for dinner?" she asked, opening the bag.

Tears came to my eyes and I almost asked myself 'what the fuck?' but instead I just asked her, "Really?"

"I know, I'm too soft on you.", she replied, "I said no food for two days and here I am, ready to feed you."

"Thank you Mistress.", I said with all the real sincerity in the world.

A few minutes later, I was laying face down on the floor again, my arms laying there around my plastic take out bowl of pasta with cream sauce. It was messy and wet as I sucked it up into my mouth, but hot and delicious as I made pleased, throaty sounds.

She was busy slapping both her bare hands down again over my right ass cheek, warming me up for a good spanking. Her slaps were pretty powerful on their own, and it might've brought a newer sub to tears eventually, but my ass was used to being whipped and spanked. This was a pleasant stroking for me as I ate and every now and then I'd make a little sound of surprise when her touch was particularly harder than the others.

I was chewing a big mouthful of noodles, closing my eyes as my cock grew under me against the cement floor, the sounds of her palms against my ass prodding me further as I tried to finish my meal before she brought out the whip or cane. Now she was spanking the left side of my ass and I felt sauce on the tip of my nose as I went in for another bite.

"You are such a little pig.", she chuckled behind me, grunting with effort as she kept trying to hurt me, only getting my aroused moans in response of her attentions.

I felt much better now…stronger. I don't know what she's got planned for me tomorrow but I feel ready for it. I was focused again, clutching the image of Bella in the grass to my heart, ashamed at how weak I had been earlier. Victoria is good, she knows my weaknesses, she knows how to punish me. She knows how to break me down fast.

But there is one thing she does not know.

I am going to kill her.

My mind has decided it. My body agrees. Once I get what I need, she is going to suffer MY wrath. And she will get no mercy. Only in death will she escape me. It will be slow…like my day with Sir Kevin. Agonizingly, a crawl to her grave.

I smile as I lick the bottom of my bowl, getting the last of the sauce with my thick tongue.

Right after my spanking, I was allowed to finish my water and then Victoria was kissing me, my mouth and tongue working hers hard, conveying my thanks.

"Yes, I love you, too.", she gently pushed me away, breaking the kiss as my lips closed over her chin, my tongue curling around it's edge, my adoring eyes looking up into hers.

"I have to open up the club.", she smiled as I began to kiss the flesh under her chin, taking a soft bite, moaning out under my breath.

"Stop, Edward.", she straightened her happy face and stood up, "On all fours, boy."

I obeyed her, getting on all fours, staring at the floor below me.

"You haven't slept for awhile.", she reminded, "You've earned a rest."

I smiled, feeling a wave of delight burning through me.

"Thank you, Mistress.", I breathed.

"Into the sleeping cage with you then.", she stroked my hair.

I crawled forward, toward the corner of the room. The sleeping cage was like something you'd see a animal get into if he needed to be transported to another zoo or something. I was able to crawl into it and I could be on all fours inside it. It accepted my whole body inside, I could lay down flat on my back of face inside it, and it had a body pillow on the floor for comfort, if I was permitted it. It's there now and I almost weep at the beauty of the soft white cushion as I touch it with hands and knees, and I wait on all fours, not moving until told to do so.

The cage door closes behind my bare feet and I hear the padlock click into place, sealing me inside.

"Lay down, baby.", she says right away and I smile like a child, curling my arms around the body pillow, laying my face into it, my voice purring in sheer joy.

"Good boy," she smiled back at me as I peeked my eyes open and thanked her with them again, "Sleep, angel of mine. Tomorrow is a new day."

"Thank you, Victoria.", I heard my voice say to her, "I love you."

And I'll love it when you're mine, in this room, soon.

"I love you, too, chubby.", she teased, but I kept smiling, too comfortable to care, "Tomorrow…workout time."

"Yes, Victoria.", I cuddled my pillow, feeling my erection beneath me again.

"Goodnite.", she said finally, at the doorway, flicking the lights completely off and I felt another moan of bliss come rising up out of my throat before I could stifle it.

"Goodnite.", I whispered as the door closed from the other side, and the locks all clicked and snapped into their places.

And I crashed to sleep. Wonderful, warm, soft, sleep…and I was in the park with Bella now…choosing a daisy from the lush, cool grass that stroked our naked bodies as the sun kissed our flesh from above.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

See next chapter soon!

Love WinndSinger

Edward's mind is going a little wild already. The Sir Kevin thing definitely took its toll on Edward's head.


	30. Trust Has to be Earned

30

BPOV

At 10:07pm I reach Moe's Pizza. It's not far from school, a few blocks away, a college kid hangout, a little cozy Mom and Pop kind of place with great old fashioned Italian cooking.

But I'm not here for the food. I push the door open and scan the little place. I see him in the far corner, wearing the kind of clothes a student would. T-shirt, jeans, boots, brown leather jacket. His ice blue eyes light up a bit when he makes eye contact with me and I frown in response, swallowing and going to his table, not sitting yet.

"I have some things to say, _Dr. Collier_.", I began with an ice voice, "First, I am your student. Second, I don't like you showing up at my apartment uninvited. And third, I have a gun in my purse right now that's pointed at your tiny cock. If you asked me here for anything that's not proper, well, you'll get banged, but not the way you pictured it. Am I making myself clear?"

Wow. I am awesome. I could've never said that to anyone before.

He looked surprised and smiled.

"I'm not here for anything improper, Bella, I assure you.", he said, sounding so smooth and arrogant.

"Can you please sit down now?", he asked, "I ordered us plain."

Is that a crack about ME?! That's it. I'm shooting the gun now.

"I don't want pizza!", I growled, "What do you want, James?"

"Alright.", he took a breath, "I'm going to go for broke and trust you. It's the only way I can say what I have to say. I want to help you, Bella."

"With what?", I asked, playing dumb to see what he knew…or what he thought he knew.

"I read some of your reports today.", James said cautiously, "About Edward. About Fire. I know…Victoria. Even though in your report, you call her Vanessa."

I didn't say anything. I couldn't. If he was a friend of hers…all that came out of me were hollow breaths of air.

"I don't know Victoria.", I lied, then realized, I don't really know her. I wish I never heard of her. And that Edward hadn't, either.

"Bella.", he leaned in slightly, whispering, "I'm taking a big chance coming to you like this. Please. I know you don't know me well, but haven't I been a good teacher? I've never done anything strange with you before you've had this subject, have I?"

That much was true. But I still don't trust him. I can't. Edward's life is on the line. I can't even trust my father who hasn't called me in two days!!

I didn't answer but James read my response in my face.

"I know it's a lot to ask, but I wish you would trust me.", he said, almost in a whisper, his eyes always watching behind me or out the window as he spoke.

"Trust has to be earned, _James_.", I said, hoping he saw that I was calling him that, since he didn't want to act like a proper teacher, I didn't have to address him like one.

"I agree.", he said, looking straight into my eyes now, "How about if I can check on Edward for you? Would that earn me your trust?"

"What?"

My mind was all over the place. I didn't trust him. I wanted news and someone to check on Edward. I needed a friend on the inside. I have no idea what's happened to Charlie. But I still don't trust James.

"Bella…", he leaned in more, whispering lower now, "Victoria…is…she's my…sister."

My stomach lurched and I felt all the air suck out of my chest. I didn't know what to say.

"She…understands that I am not the same as she is.", James continued, "My whole family understands. They were actually proud of me when I became a teacher. They created a new identity for me. They aren't all bad. They're glad I wanted something different, nobler than their way of life. They see Victoria as a loose cannon. But a necessary evil. She's always being watched. It's kind of my…duty…to watch her, to be close by and make sure she's…okay."

"Well, good job there, James!", I spat out, "Do you have any idea what she's doing?! What she's DONE?! You've been sleeping on the job, COLLIER!"

"There were times I wanted no part of being her babysitter, Bella.", he whispered to me, the music in the air helping to hide his words from others, "I just wanted a normal life. I didn't do my job, I know that. I found out…things she'd done…things I should have prevented but didn't. I'm on the job NOW. I know I have to be."

"Did you know about her and…Edward?", I was afraid to even ask.

"I did.", James looked down at his glass of water in shame, "After she…acquired him."

"Acquired.", I huffed, "Nice word."

"Alright, Bella!", he frowned slightly then calmed himself, "He was good for her at first. She was happy. She forgot drugs and some of her more illegal activities for awhile. He was unattached. When I saw them together, he wasn't chained up. He was a dancer, free to come or go, that's what I saw. He appeared to be a willing partner. I thought he was a submissive."

"Wait.", I frowned, "Edward saw you in my doorway. He didn't recognize you."

"I've changed my look since I saw Edward last.", James replied, "Besides, I mostly saw Edward in dark clubs, while he was performing. He never got a very good look at me before. Victoria's very big on keeping everyone as far from that guy as possible. The thing is, I recognized him, that day I came to your place."

Or he was sent there by Victoria, to see if I had Edward after the Raven escape. Him coming there the very next morning was no accident. Victoria knows we saved Edward from her. Shit.

"He is not a willing partner.", I also pointed out, defensively, "And he's not unattached. He has a family."

"In Florida, right?", James raised a brow, "I know."

My heart sank and I became super scared now.

"How do you know that?", I almost shouted at him, but I kept my voice down.

"That's not important, Bella.", James' face was more serious now, "The thing is, I'm afraid for Edward now. Something is happening. I can't put my finger on it, but it's the way she talks about him that's not right."

"I can't tell you anything, James.", I felt tears brim my eyes as I glanced behind me, out the window.

"I know.", he sighed, "I understand. I talk to Victoria on the phone a lot. She trusts me, at least I think she does. She's invited me to dinner there in a couple nights. Bella…she asked me to bring you as my date."

My eyes went round with terror.

"WHAT?!", I heard myself almost scream.

"I didn't even know that she'd met you, or knew anything much about you.", James said, "But if you were a client of hers…if you…paid…for Edward, then she had to have met you at some point, gotten information on you."

"I didn't _pay_ for anything.", I seethed, not wanting to share private details of my time with Edward with him.

I still don't trust him.

"I don't care about that, Bella.", he sighed again, "I'm not trying to accuse you of anything. I'm just trying to help."

"What does she want me over to dinner for?", I growled, "What are you trying to pull?"

"Nothing!", he frowned back, "I'm just telling you the truth! She's trying to get you over there for some reason. If I don't bring you, someone else will! I didn't have to warn you, I could've just shown up at your place – or asked you to stay after class! If I weren't a friend, I could've taken you there by force!"

"You could TRY.", I did my best lethal stare back at him, and I cocked the gun in my purse. Edward's empty police gun, left in my possession accidentally after the whole Raven thing.

James heard the click and realized I wasn't playing.

"Bella, you DON'T want to shoot me.", James almost grinned, "The repercussions would be ugly, believe me. I'm my father's favorite son. And my family has guns. Lots and lots of guns."

"What do you want from me?", I gritted my teeth, "Want me to be your date? Dress up nice so I can walk right into Victoria's dungeon, too? If she wants me, let her come and get me. But I'm not walking in there on my own. Not after all Edward's going through to…"

Are you STUPID?!! Don't say another word to him!!

I shut my mouth and was about to stand up, to tell James to go to Hell and take his whore sister with him.

But he said, "Don't you want to know how Edward is? Maybe get a message to him? Get a message back from him? I know she has him back. I know she's punishing him. She tells me about it. She's never been this rough with him before. I don't know what's going on but she acts like she's afraid somehow. Like she's afraid she's losing her grip on him. I know it sounds weird, but in her way, she does love him. She won't give him up easily."

"I can't hear any more of this.", I said but then I wanted to know what he knew. What rough punishments she was inflicting upon him.

"What is she doing to him?", I asked, tears completely filling my eyes now, "Is he hurt bad?"

James looked at me and something in his face changed.

"Oh my God.", he said quietly, looking very grave suddenly, "You're _in love _with him."

"You think I'm ashamed to admit that?", I said, letting a tear or two fall, "I'm not. Yes, I love him. Sorry you didn't get a turn with me, Doctor."

Can't I shut up, ever?! I'm so fucking dumb!!

"Bella, I don't care about that, either.", he said again, then said, "Well, alright, I do care about that…but, I'll live. I'm not ashamed to admit that I like you, Bella. But I'm not a nut like my sister. I wouldn't want you in a cage or in chains. And if you're in love with someone else, I'm glad for you. I wish you well. But, Bella, if you don't take my help, I don't think it'll BE well. You see…she's killed before."

"Really?", I acted like it was new information to me.

James wasn't fooled but he said, "Yes, really. In the beginning, she wanted to prove to our father that she was as badass as the boys who work for him. She impressed him alright. They use her place to make people disappear sometimes. Once in awhile, she kills…usually it's a person who's hurt her. Former lovers, men who've cheated…submissives who've bored her. If she suspects Edward doesn't love her anymore…"

"He never loved her!", I snarled like a beast, "She bought him like a used car and threatened his life! Then she used him like a piece of meat for years and she has the balls to call it love. It's not love at all. It's slavery. It's rape. Torture and murder."

So much for not saying anything else.

"I know, Bella.", he said, "Believe me, I know. No one who's ever hurt her is still breathing. I missed some chances to save people, Bella, because I didn't want to hear it. I don't want another person dieing on my watch. I can't sleep. I have nightmares all the time."

"Good.", I shot back.

"What do you want me to do here, Bella?", James asked, leaving it up to me now, "Tell me and I'll do it. Give me a test. I'll prove to you I'm on your side. Let me go check on him. I know it's hurting you, not knowing how he is. I saw you crying today in class."

"It's none of your business!", I sighed and wondered if I should give him a chance. I had to tell my father about all of this. Maybe I could have Charlie talk to James and see if he agreed to let James in on this. But then they'd all be in the loop and I'd still be out.

I hated being kept outside this. My father had told me everything was fine. But it wasn't. James said Victoria was going rough on him this week, rougher than ever.

Is he lying to me now? Or is he being honest? Had I said something to get Edward hurt?

James doesn't know about Charlie watching the club. He can't know. If I tell him that and he tells Victoria, my father and Edward are both dead. No, I can't trust him. I won't. I'll let my father handle this. I trust him, even though he's not doing a damn thing, much less telling me anything.

"Edward is strong.", I felt another tear fall from my eye, "I believe in him. He'll be alright. He left me, he said he couldn't be my boyfriend. He said he belongs to Victoria. He chose her."

I was lying to try and protect Edward now after my mouth had run too much. I hope it works.

I wish I didn't sound so weak while I said that.

"He is strong, but he's helpless in the dungeon.", James informed, "I've seen her work in there. Even a grown man, a strong man can't defend himself in there. She's a very knowledgeable dominatrix. She knows how to make men weak. She takes her time, Bella. She doesn't just inflict physical pain. She specializes in mental anguish."

"I can't trust you.", I stood up and flung my purse over my shoulder, turning my back to him to leave, "If you truly cared about good, you'd have shot the bitch in the head yourself already."

"I'm going to check on him tonight anyway.", James said, clutching my heart with his words, "I'll call you from a disposable cell phone. Be awake. I'm not sure what time I'll be able to call."

I half turned my head towards him then forced myself to run out of there, sprinting down the street, clicking my father's name on my cell phone, wondering if he'd really ignore my call again.

Then I heard the familiar recording. "This is Charlie Swan. You know what to do."

"DAD!", I screamed into the phone as I quickly walked down the street, "I can't BELIEVE you haven't called me back! Is this some secret club I'm not allowed into or something?!! I want you to call me NOW!! Something's happened! I need you, DAD! Don't ignore me anymore! Call me NOW!!"

I pressed the end call button with a very angry thumb and saw my building, but I passed it. I was going towards the train, I was going to go to Fire. Then I stopped before I even got to the stairs going underground. Can't do that. I promised Edward I wouldn't. I could screw everything up if anyone recognized me anywhere near there.

I have to go home and wait for James' call. My Dad's call.

At home, I paced my living room floor, thinking things through.

Should I have given James a message for Edward? Should I trust him? Should I trust him if he calls me tonight and lets me know how Edward is doing? He could be lying. Victoria's brother. He could get close to her and Edward, if she trusts him. Or he could be setting me up to walk right into her trap and tell what's going on, that there's a cop watching her place. Edward would pay for that. No, I can't trust anyone.

James said Victoria kills people who she loved, and was hurt by. Edward said she sometimes told him she loved him, on birthdays and Christmases. James said she was being rough with him.

I cried again and again, always hitting a brick wall, always afraid to do anything because it might get Edward hurt even more, or killed.

Why doesn't Charlie call me? What if he's caught, too? For all I know he could be in the dungeon WITH Edward. And I sit here doing nothing.

I have to call Emmett. That's not so dangerous, is it?

I can't think of anything else to do. I'm losing my mind and I'm so scared. I'm giving Charlie two hours to call me back and then I act on my own.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

EPOV

"Edward – session ten.", Bella's voice said.

I opened my eyes, confused, wondering how she got in here and instantly I felt ashamed, having her see me naked locked in a cage, cuddled up like a happy cat in the mattress.

But I wasn't there. I was sitting on the sofa, in the nightshirt Bella gave me, and cozy flannel pajama pants. My bare feet felt so warm on the carpet beneath them.

And there's Bella. Dr. Bella. Sitting in her chair, ready to begin, her eyes serious. Her mind, sharp as a razor.

"Dr. Bella!", I exclaimed, a wave of joy pouring over me at seeing her again, at being with her again. It felt like years since I'd been here.

I wanted to run up to her, throw my arms around her and cover her shiny lips with my kisses. But Dr. Bella was in now – not just my Bella. There would be no playing like that now – on her time.

Besides, I need the therapy.

"Hello Edward.", she smiled her warm, patient smile at me. I feel so warm and safe now.

"Hello Dr. Bella.", I return my greeting, as usual, unable to hide the dumb smile on my face.

"How are you doing, Edward?", her expression seemed to look right into my soul as she began.

I tried to keep a brave face on and was about to say something like 'Fine' or 'Not bad' but instead, my real feelings came out and leaned forward, my arms huddled around my chest as I let a small sob escape me.

"Something's wrong.", I heard my deeper, emotional voice say, "I used to be able to take so much more. Victoria would have to work on me for days before I'd break. In the beginning, she had to kill someone to bring me to my knees. I'm so weak, Bella. It's only been a couple days and I'm her BITCH already! I told her, more than once, that I love her!"

I hadn't seen her move but suddenly she was at my side, her arms around me. I clung onto her, letting a relieved breath out as if I'd just been thrown a lifesaver. I let my head rest against hers and closed my eyes as she spoke.

"I was afraid of this.", she said, almost to herself, "I showed you that it wasn't your fault, what happened to Tanya…and Katie. Before, you could take the punishment because you felt you deserved it and it eased your guilt, every lash, every slap. It almost felt good for you then. Now you don't have that anymore. I stripped you of your armor, in a way."

"I want to kill her, Bella.", I confessed, feeling tears in my eyes again, wondering if she'd be disgusted by me now, "I keep dreaming of it. A thousand different dreams of it keep stabbing at my brain. They won't go away. Make them go away."

"What'd you think I have, a magic wand or something?", Bella asked in her Bella way and I laughed…only she could make me laugh now.

A moment passed and I kissed her hand, getting more power from that as she just let me breathe for a minute or two.

"I was so strong a couple days ago.", I reminisced, "I felt like I had the world by the throat. Why do I feel like all of that is gone now? I feel even weaker than before we met."

"Alright, Edward, listen to me.", she said sternly, eyeing me as she replied, "We both know you're not going to kill anyone. If you do, you'll go to prison. You'll never be free to be with Katie. And worse, you'll be in prison mentally. You don't want to go there. You'll never forgive yourself. You've punished yourself all these years, thinking you were to blame for Tanya and Katie. What will happen to you if you're TRULY responsible for another death? Even hers? You could never look Katie in the eyes again. You don't want that."

I could already feel the insanity crawling away from me as she talked. I held her tighter to me, wanting more.

"I understand.", she said, "She's put you through so much. Your mind is not taking the pain and internalizing it on yourself now. You know you don't deserve it now. So your mind is looking at Victoria, blaming her. And it wants revenge. And that's normal. You finally want to strike back, instead of taking it and taking it. That's a good response. But you can't kill her. Promise me you won't."

"Bella…", I breathed, not knowing if I could promise that.

"Come on.", she gave my body a little nudge.

I tried to make myself say the words. But they wouldn't come.

"Think of it this way.", she said, "If you do it, you have to be committed. They'll put you in a hospital, Edward. They'll decide what you eat, when you sleep, what drugs to try out on you. And it'll be up to them if or when you leave. You won't be able to call or see Katie. Or me."

"No.", I groaned, not hiding how disturbing that was for me.

"Then promise me.", she pushed.

"I promise.", I said, meaning it wholeheartedly.

I remembered saying those words in the vampire cage, and Victoria's words – 'A vampire's promise. If you trust that, come on up.'

"I love you.", her angel voice came back to me, "I am so proud of you. And your strength isn't gone. It's still there."

"I love you, Bella.", I kissed her temple, snuggling my head into hers, "You're the one person who thinks I'm strong."

"No I'm not.", she said, "You know it, too."

"Bella…", I whispered, loving her and the peace she could always bring me. I was kissing her lips deeply and hungrily, never getting enough of her, ever.

Between kisses, I kept saying her name, a magical word that kept healing my soul with every utterance.

Bright white light poured into the room suddenly, and Bella disappeared, along with the sofa, the chair, the whole room. Everything was blank, a white page that stung my eyes. And a horrible clanging sound was there instead of Bella's soft rhythmic breathing in my ear.

"Time to wake up, sleepyhead.", a sinister female voice shouted above me and when I opened my eyes, a wooden cane was running back and forth along the cage bars beside my face.

Victoria. Fuck.

I was naked and in my little cage again, but I didn't feel quite so frail and tiny anymore.

"That sounded like some dream you were having.", her knowing voice didn't sound very happy and I rubbed my eyes, trying to see and adjust to the light, feeling the rough stubble on my face.

Oh shit. Don't tell me I'm talking in my sleep now.

"What was the name of your wife, again?", Victoria was walking around next to my cage, "The one you let fry in the fire? Do you even remember?"

I heard myself growl and my fists flew to the bars over my head, my defiant eyes staring Victoria down.

She smiled down at me and tilted her head a bit.

"You think Bella, or any woman, would want _you_, knowing how well you took care of your first family?", she asked.

A violent, broken breath came out of me and my fists shook around the bars now, my eyes on fire as she giggled at me.

"I better not hear her name again, Edward.", Victoria seethed, walking away from me, "Unless you want to see me work her over while you lay here and watch. Apologize."

After a very hard minute, I heard my voice say, "I am sorry." But the feeling in my words told another story. I knew she'd heard the anger and resistance in me.

"I have some guests coming to dinner tomorrow night.", Victoria crossed her arms, looking down at me, "I would like to trust you to be there, too. Is that going to be a problem?"

I wondered if this would be a dinner like some we've had before. With me on my knees at her chair side, a metal bar stockade holding my hands up beside each side of my head, also locking around my neck as I'd silently wait for a morsel of food now and then from her dish. She'd feed it to me and I would respectfully thank her, only getting up at times when one of her guests would need a new drink.

With a bend, my hands could pick up and deliver a glass to someone.

Sometimes, Victoria's guests were male doms that had female submissives. I would watch from the floor as they were ordered to crawl under the table and service their masters while they ate. Their tight, bare asses would stare me in the face while they licked and sucked the cocks from inside the opened trousers above them.

A couple times, the male doms would get bored and order their girl subs to come pleasure me. Every one would eat and talk while the girls subs had their way with me. Sometimes it was a couple of women on me at once. We were entertainment.

That was then. Back when I felt sure Victoria wouldn't let male doms touch me. Now I was so unsure and afraid of what she was up to.

Or maybe I was all wrong and this would be a normal dinner, with me dressed and sitting at the table.

"As a slave?", I asked, taking my hands off the bars, trying to hide my aggression.

"Yes.", she answered, squinting her eyes a little.

I took a breath and waited, then asked, "Is…Sir Kevin coming over?"

My eyes pierced into hers and she knew what I was asking. I wanted to know right now. Would I be raped again?

"That's up to you.", she said, a wicked tone in her voice, "Do I need to call him back over here?"

"No, Mistress.", I tried to sound behaved.

"If you behave, I'll never have another man touch you again.", she informed, "But if I sense you can't handle girls, if you keep falling in love with your clients, I'll have to make some changes with you. You'd have to service men only."

"No!", I heard myself yell, and then I quickly brought my voice down, "I mean, I'm not in love with any clients! I swear! It's only you, Victoria. I love YOU."

God, I hate saying that to her. I feel so filthy. I feel like a whore when I betray Bella and say those words to anyone else.

She uncrossed her arms and silently went to the door of my cage and unlocked it, raising the door up, giving me an opening.

"Come out of there.", she demanded, moving away from me.

I raised up on all fours, feeling well rested as I did so. I backed up, not having the room to turn around and go out head first.

"Over here.", she pointed in front of her and I crawled over, kneeling there.

She was touching my hair, without speaking, stroking it…she touched my face and brought my chin up so I was looking at her.

I tried to have a pleasant look on my face then, but maybe it wasn't that convincing because she said, "Smile."

I did, unsure of how sincere it might have appeared to her. But I tried.

She smiled a little back down at me and moved her finger along my bottom lip.

"You are so beautiful.", she said with a little sadness, "So beautiful…always."

"So are you, Victoria.", I replied, making my lips kiss her fingers. She was smelling my love for Bella in the air and she wasn't liking it. I had to throw her off the scent.

I closed my eyes, trying to forget Victoria's face and picture Bella's. Victoria couldn't rule my thoughts and for that I was truly grateful.

"I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you," she said, allowing me to lay my face on her little stomach.

"You own me.", I said, internally gritting my teeth, "You won't lose me."

"Go work out.", she breathed, letting me go, snapping and pointing to something new in the middle of the room…a treadmill and a stairmaster beside it.

"Which one, Victoria?", I asked.

"You choose.", she said, and I thought she must be sad. She never lets me choose anything. She even picks out my clothes when we're entertaining or going out together.

"Treadmill?", I chose, asking if that was alright. And again, I needed Bella.

"Fine.", she said and I crawled over to it, standing and stepping onto the rubber pad where my feet would be running soon.

I waited as she came over and pressed a few buttons while I held the bars at my sides. The pad I was standing on reclined slowly, and in seconds, I was on a very steep incline.

"Stay.", she ordered as I steadied myself, waiting.

She walked over to the wall and came back with a couple pairs of handcuffs.

She smiled at me and I grinned back, knowing her fondness for these.

"You're under arrest.", she cheered a little, slapping one cuff over my wrist, the other around the bar beside me.

She moved around to my free hand, doing the same there.

"What's the charge, officer?", I played along.

"Being naughty in your dreams.", she slapped my ass hard and chuckled as she made her way to the front of the machine, hitting START.

The pad under my feet began to move and I held onto the bars, running at a medium pace to keep up with the speed of it.

I wondered if I should lie and say I wasn't dreaming of anyone else. But that would piss her off more, me lying to her. And I'm not sure what she heard me say.

"I'm sorry, Victoria.", I suddenly felt very afraid for Bella, "I don't know what I was dreaming…I don't even remember it now…"

"It's fine.", she watched me run, "I don't mind you fucking in your sleep, it won't be long before you're out there again, doing what you do best. Just make sure your dream clients are paying you well."

"Yes, Victoria.", I smirked, feeling the burn start to rise in my lower legs, relieved.

It sounded like she just heard me making aroused noises, maybe kissing Bella in my dream, instead of me calling Bella's name and saying that I loved her.

Bella is safe. Bella is safe. I hated thinking Bella was out there, exposed, such an easy target. I wished she had listened to me and stayed with Alice or Rosalie.

Victoria walked around behind me, hopping her butt up on the leather table I'd been on the other night, watching me from behind, probably fixed on my bare ass as I sped up, wishing I could be running away from her…forever.

Soon.

Soon.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

BPOV

My cell phone rang and I flipped it open right away. I had been staring at the little black phone for the last two hours, unable to do anything else but worry until I heard from both of the men I was waiting on.

The name on the screen said Dad on it when I hit the answer button.

I tried to keep my voice patient and nice but I didn't do a very good job of it.

"DAD!", I shouted.

"Bella, please.", he sighed, "Why are you leaving me these crazed messages?"

"Maybe because I AM CRAZED, Dad!", I felt myself frowning, "Why haven't you called me? Why won't you tell me anything? Don't you know how worried I am here?!"

"Bella, I am working.", he said, as he always did in the past when I'd be having a crisis and I'd reach out to him, hearing that phrase instead of what I wanted to hear.

"Is he alright?", I asked, shivering, "What's happening to him?"

"Bella, I can't tell you that.", he sighed again, "Just let me handle it, please?"

"Why can't you tell me how he is?!!", I felt angry tears in my eyes, "I have a right to know!"

"I don't know!", he growled, scaring the shit out of me, "Alright?! That what you wanna hear? We lost the bug somehow. I can't hear him at all. Never heard a thing."

"Oh my God.", I felt the tears fall down my cheeks, "What does that mean? Do you think—"

"He's alive, as far as I know.", Charlie said, "I've been watching the club like a hawk. No bodies have been taken out. And the chip still says he's inside. This Victoria woman comes and goes, and that Emmett checked on him once in the middle of the day."

"But Dad!", I cried, "He could be trapped – and hurt. Bleeding to death in there! We have to find some way to put a new bug in there. Maybe Emmett could help us."

"I don't want to risk Edward by involving more people employed by Victoria in this.", Charlie said, always the voice of reason, "How do we really know we can trust this Emmett?"

"He cares about Edward.", I informed, not really wanting to tell my father all about him being my partner in the whole Raven rescue. He'd fry my ass.

"I know we can trust him, Dad.", I said, wishing for once he'd just take my word for it.

My father wasn't saying anything.

"He's on the inside.", I pushed harder, "He knows Victoria. I need to know what's going on in there. I'm not waiting around for him to walk out or be carried out! He's all alone in there!"

"Bella, don't get emotional, it's gonna screw up the whole plan here.", Charlie said, his voice still monotone and void of any feeling.

"You BET I'm emotional!", I yelled, "That's the man I love in there! I want him out now!"

"Bella, he's not an imbecile!", Charlie growled, "Let him have his few days, like he wanted. Let him get the chance to get what he needs out of there. Once he does, we'll have Victoria in custody and he can go back to his life – and you can go back to yours."

"What does that mean?", I frowned.

"It means we're still having a talk about all this.", Charlie informed, "Don't call me and yell at me, Bella. I'm trying to help you and your friend. You started all this. You're the one who bought a hooker!!"

I gasped, enraged.

"I'm GLAD I bought a hooker!!", I screamed, "Maybe I got more love and affection from HIM than I ever did from YOU!!"

I heard only dead silence on the other end. Right away I regretted saying that. Charlie wasn't a big hugger or kisser, but he was a good father. He was always there for me when my mother wasn't. I remembered what Carlisle and Esme were like to Edward and I felt guilty for bashing my father when I obviously had it so good. I knew I was loved. And now I was hurting him because I was so afraid.

"Dad…", I said, with tears in my voice.

"Don't call me again.", he said, like a machine, "I'm working to make sure your…friend…is alright. Let me do my job. I'll call you when I'm on my way back with him."

He hung up and I winced, knowing that's how Charlie reacted when hurt.

"I'm sorry, Dad.", I said now, even though he couldn't hear me.

I let my face fall on the pillow under me and heard myself crying as I remembered the wonderful way the bed sunk a bit when Edward joined me here, the smell of him that still lingered in the quilt, the gentle masculine tone of his voice when he asked me, 'Can I hold you until you fall asleep?', and finally, the miraculous feeling of his hot, muscular arms curling around me, as if afraid to break me by holding too tight.

I tried to recreate the sensation of his body spooning behind mine as I laid here now, but the memory wasn't enough. I wanted to FEEL it again…for real. It seemed like a million years since he'd laid here with me. I want to see his little ducky lips in the morning…his arms curled up around him, my sweet little Thumper.

I don't know how long I laid there crying before my cell rang again. When I went to open it, I noted the time was 3am. The name Dr. Collier on my screen.

I answered it and frowned, saying, "What?"

"I told you I'd call.", James said, sounding insulted at my tone.

"So, talk.", I readied myself, "How is he?"

"I think he's okay.", James said and I hated how vague he sounded.

"You THINK?", I asked.

"Well I went there, acting like I was just there to hang out.", James said, "We hung in her office for awhile and eventually I asked about Edward. She said he was sleeping."

I huffed, "Sleeping?"

If Edward was free, and she thought he was asleep, he'd have a chance to get that evidence, maybe.

"That's what she said.", James let out a breath, "I couldn't ask too much more or she'd get all weird and suspicious."

Maybe he passed out…or she knocked him out. That seemed more realistic. I couldn't picture her tucking him in for the night, kissing his forehead.

And again, I was terribly worried about Edward. James was supposed to try and ease my mind, not that he would even if he told me Edward was fine.

"Gee, James, thanks for putting yourself on the line and checking on him.", I said, my voice thick with sarcasm, "I guess now we can be partners. You have my complete trust now."

"I know, I got nothing tonight.", he said, "But I'll check again tomorrow afternoon."

"Whatever.", I sighed, feeling a huge pain in my forehead.

"So…what about going with me…to Victoria's?", James asked, "What should I tell her? I mean, I wouldn't really take you in there, but I have to tell her something. It'll buy us a little time if I tell her yes."

Part of me thought it wouldn't be a bad plan to go in there with him, acting like I was falling into her trap, and then turning things around on her. If I could trust James, I would do it in a minute. It would be faster than my father's plan of waiting and peeking in garbage bags in the back alley of the club. I could wear a bug on me or sneak it in if she took me to Edward. But then I would need Charlie.

God, Edward would freak if Victoria and James came dragging me in there. And I would freak if I saw something horrible happening to him on the other side of the coin. Maybe if I bought bullets for Edward's cop gun, that would be more wise than just clicking the trigger. I knew how to shoot, being Charlie's daughter, and I knew how to buy bullets.

But could I really shoot at a human being? Even her? And what if she got my gun somehow? Edward could get hurt. I could get hurt. Charlie, too.

How do cops do this everyday and not go crazy? Every thing I think up is so risky, for all of us. But the only thing worse than any of my plans was no plan at all. I have to do something. I can't sit here anymore and wish upon a star for my happy ending. Our happy ending.

I have to get out there and make it happen.

I picked up the phone, glad to see Alice was the first name on my phone list, since it was alphabetical. Would she get mad at me for calling at this hour? Probably. But she's Alice, so I know she'll forgive me. I know she'll want to help us. I know this is a good place to start.

So I hit CALL and waited.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

See next chapter soon!

Love WinndSinger


	31. Gone

31

EPOV

"I think you've paid for your little lapse of judgement.", Victoria said, tying the belt of her white robe, her smile forgiving and sweet on the surface as I stared back at her from the X cross, my ankles and wrists bound to each metal post at the ends, a wide leather strap around my naked waist, holding me securely to it.

"Tomorrow, you can get the club ready for our little party at about eight-ish.", she suggested, "Make sure the chefs have all they need, clean everything as meticulously as always and make yourself pretty. I'll let you know around six what you are to wear."

"Yes, Victoria.", I answered, feeling a bit ripe already after a couple of days without a shower, and the perspiration all over me was foul smelling and thick, "Thank you."

I thanked her because she was letting me off punishment so early and a big part of me was paranoid about that. She never let me off so soon before, and for no good reason. I began to fear about this dinner party she was throwing tomorrow night. I think I'm far from through with her punishments. This is just another mind game she's playing. Make me relax and then spring the next thing upon me.

I hate feeling this uncertainty all the time. It's like a disease that is killing me slowly…from the inside out.

I want to talk to Katie. I want to watch Spongebob with her again. I want to smell Bella's hair. I want to sit in the kitchen with Katherine. I want to play piano with Joseph. I want everything I can't have.

My only little spark of hope rose from the ashes in that she was going to let me roam around the club freely all day tomorrow, maybe even tonight.

That means I can find that bloody cloth I hid, get my things out of my room and run. Maybe I can even find my blood sample somewhere in Victoria's office, if it's there. That might be too much to hope for, too convenient. It's probably at her house somewhere, hidden and locked up well. I didn't care. I'd have proof of murder against her. And finally, I would be free.

She unlocked my cuffs, both wrists and ankles, then the one around my waist and ordered, "On all fours and crawl after me, love."

I obeyed, and internally growled that she'd be taking me out of here now. And here is where the cloth is that I need. I told myself it didn't matter. Tomorrow I'd be left here alone to prepare everything, and that included the dungeon. It needed a good cleaning since I'd been living here, constantly being punished for the last couple of days. I was sure she'd give me the key.

"Yes, Victoria.", I said in a calm voice as I began to crawl slowly after her as she led me out of the dungeon.

The only other way back in here would be to anger her in some way and get myself punished again. If plan A failed, that was plan B. I kept my eyes down but I heard her locking the dungeon door, as usual.

She was walking up to the club and the music was loud and customers were up there, screaming and cheering. I was stark naked and wanted to hesitate as I crawled up the stairs towards them. I was hideously unkempt, unshaven, and smelly and I felt ill inside at being in front of clients this way, but she had told me to follow her.

"Don't lose me in the dark.", she glanced back at me, "If you get lost, you're on your own."

So she meant to have me crawling after her, nude, through the club and every woman there. Fuck.

"Yes, Victoria.", I managed to say but could hear myself the empty ring in my voice.

My only solace came from the fact that it was dark when we reached the hallways of private rooms. Once in awhile, I would hear a woman or two coming out of a room and cackling loudly at the sight of my naked ass on all fours following my owner. I winced as internally as I could, keeping my eyes on the backs of Victoria's bare feet, knowing if I lost them, I was raw meat in a den of hungry lions, once we crossed that red line going into the club.

I tried to concentrate on something else as I crossed over the red line into the kaos. Women's voices engulfed me and I just kept my eyes on Victoria's feet, a dim bluish light coloring them as I followed, quickly as I could.

"Oh my God, look at that ass!!", one woman's voice said and my eyes squinted, hating the sound of it as a variety of hands began to touch me there.

One or two of the hands felt soft and caressing against my right ass cheek. A couple others squeezed and pinched, almost kneaded my flesh as I kept crawling, hoping I wasn't moving too fast or too slowly.

Offending some of these women was an unforgivable rule. Some of these women were angry, man hating, victims of cheating men and would punish any man who seemed to spurn them or their advances. I learned that lesson early on here and I would never forget it.

Women aren't helpless, frail things. They could be every bit as wicked and strong in their rage as any man.

I tried to keep up with Victoria but she was getting a few steps ahead of me. Then I felt someone sitting on my back, riding me like I was a horse.

"Woooo!!!', a younger woman's voice exclaimed as I kept trying to move in silence, "Giddyup!!"

I felt something thin and tight circle around my neck and it was choking me. I heard different voices laughing and I stopped crawling and reached under my throat to loosen the grip of the strap there. Victoria kept walking and I almost couldn't see her anymore.

"Victoria.", I choked but I'm sure she couldn't hear me above the music.

"Oh no you don't!", the girl on my back tightened the strap of her purse around my neck and I opened my mouth, feeling the last little bit of air escape me.

"He's trying to get away.", she giggled and I put my hands back on the floor, not moving, knowing I was stuck now. Please the clients. That was my number one rule and I always did that. I'm sure this is what Victoria wanted all along when she brought me out here. Maybe this is a test, to see how I interacted with the ladies now, after being with Bella.

"He is cute!", another voice commented as I gritted my teeth and looked at the floor and let them fondle me. They soon got bored with my ass and then my cock was being grabbed and examined.

"Oh GOD!" an older woman's voice announced, "You've gotta feel this!! It's fucking GIGANTIC!!"

The whole room spun over and when I landed on my back, I realized they flipped me over and had me spread eagle below them.

I heard a couple of gasps and one of the voices said, "Ohhhhh, his face is beautiful!"

"I'm not even looking at his face!", another woman replied, laughing heartily as their dark silhouettes danced around me in the blackness.

I felt a firm hand around the shaft of my penis and it was being pulled almost violently as a chorus of surprised reactions rose up from the women around me. They laughed and watched as my cock began to harden in the grip of the faceless one who dared to jerk me off.

Then I felt other women touching me. One pair of hands were grabbing my ankles and circling her thumbs over my ankle bones as she held them down. My mouth was smothered by a pair of lips from upside down over me that wore heavy lipstick and thrust her tongue into my mouth. Another woman sat on my chest and before I knew it, my hands were above my head, being held by a couple other women. I could've fought them off but I knew I wasn't allowed to do that. This was part of my job, too, as a dancer here. And Victoria is watching me, no doubt, watching for any differences in me. I had to show her no differences, even if there were a million of them deep inside me.

I moaned as another woman swooped in to kiss my mouth next and I tried to kiss back but I was too distracted by the many mouths licking and sucking on my cock suddenly as the rough hand kept manipulating me without mercy.

The strap of someone's purse was still around my neck but at least it wasn't tight right now. In fact, my head was resting on the purse below it as I struggled to make my lips open and kiss back with every new pair of lips presented to me.

It sounded like all the voices were happy as I submitted to them. I heard myself start groaning and growling as I was being shoved further and further towards my release. The only good thing about reaching it was maybe the girls would let me go once it happened.

"Come on, give it to us…", an older woman's voice demanded overhead as different sets of teeth were biting down on my nipples, followed by hungry tongues.

When I finally let go and shouted out, it was drowned out by someone's tongue reaching down my throat. I exploded, closing my eyes, even though I was blind in the dark, and felt wet mouths lapping me up and devouring me as I finished.

A few more sets of lips kissed me but then, with a few comments, all the voices and shadows slowly withdrew and I was alone on the floor. Even the purse was yanked out from under my head as they left me.

I almost went to stand up but recalled Victoria's orders and returned to my crawling position, making my way quickly up to her office without further incident.

I went to open the door but it was locked and I exhaled raggedly, knocking loudly as my knees rested on the steps. After a few moments, the door popped open and I breathed out in relief, crawling into Victoria's office, a little more at ease on the soft carpeting as I stopped before her desk on all fours, waiting, my eyes on the white carpet below.

The office door locked behind me and I felt her fingernails tickle over my asscheeks and up my spine, playing in my hair as she sat upon the edge of her desk, looking down at me.

"Have a little extra fun on the way here?", she teased, giggling a little to herself.

"Yes, Victoria.", I answered, just counting the seconds until I was left alone tomorrow.

"Awww, it wasn't that bad, was it?", she smirked and I made myself smile up at her.

"No, Victoria.", I lied, pretending it had been a nice little release for me.

"My little tramp.", she sighed, adding, "Come here."

I stood up, knowing what 'come here' means with Victoria. She wanted me and it was time for me to put on a happy face, a hard cock, and perform for her.

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EPOV

By the time Victoria let me out of her office, it was after closing time, maybe around 3am when I was dismissed and told to go down and clean things up.

The first thing I wanted to clean up was myself and when I went into the dressing rooms, no one was there, thank God. I was naked and spent and didn't really want to see anyone until after a nice hot shower and a shave. I must've spent about 45 minutes under the hot water, just letting it soak me and soothe my body before I even shampooed and soaped up. I was at the sink, shaving, almost through, when I heard someone out in the dressing area.

It was Emmett and Jasper, talking and changing into their street clothes, their pants still on but chests bare. Jasper was taking off his military uniform and Emmett was shedding his tarzan outfit. They were a sight for sore eyes and my voice nearly cracked when I alerted them to my presence.

"Hey guys.", I grinned, using a small towel on my bare shoulder to wipe some shaving cream off the edge of my jaw.

"Edward!", Emmett looked surprised while Jasper just stared, "You're out!"

"I know.", I shared his shock and made a face like his, "I guess I was paroled early for good behavior or something."

"Are you alright?", Jasper looked at me with an intense seriousness that I never saw in his eyes before. He was usually happy-go-lucky all the time. Not right now, though.

"I'm fine.", I wiped the rest of my face off, feeling a lot more human now, "I mean, I'm dead tired, but fine. I'm actually going in to clean everything on the floor and then I'm going to bed. I feel like I haven't slept for a month."

"I'll help you clean up.", Emmett offered and Jasper chimed in, "Me, too."

"Awww, thanks", I accepted. Victoria never had a problem with that. Many times we would dance to our favorite music while we cleaned things up after the night was over. I think that's where we all bonded.

I was in my jeans and t-shirt a few minutes later, bare feet, as usual, and we were turning the chairs over and placing them on the tables, removing tablecloths, too. The conversation was light at first. We caught up on what was new in the last couple weeks. Jasper mentioned he had another date with Alice and while I was glad for him I couldn't help feel a twinge of sadness, missing Bella. I wondered what she was doing and how school was going. I knew at the moment she was in bed, asleep, under her favorite quilts and I almost couldn't breathe for wishing I were there with her now.

Our two weeks together had gone by so fast. Too fast. They were gone. I clung onto tomorrow and getting that bloody rag. If that went wrong somehow, I was dead.

Victoria's office lights went dark and her heels were coming down the steps. I tensed as Emmett looked at me and I turned my back to where she'd be appearing soon, stripping a new table.

"Goodnight, eye candy.", she stood there, waiting for us to all collectively bid her farewell.

I turned and cast my eyes down but Emmett and Jasper didn't. They were allowed to look her in the eye.

"Goodnight, Victoria.", the three of us said at once, Emmett putting more enthusiasm into his statement than Jasper or I did. In fact, Jasper was frowning a little. I wondered what that was all about.

"Edward.", she called and I looked up a bit.

Then she did something miraculous. She tossed me the keys to the club. Her key ring. The keys to the dungeon.

I caught them right in the center of my palm as she added, "My directions are on my desk for tomorrow. Do a good job."

"I will, Victoria.", I promised with my tone, although my heart was doing back flips that we were a morning away from getting out of her for good. I will be with Bella tomorrow! I wanted to sob out loud from just thinking of it.

"See you at six.", she puckered her lips at the air in my direction and walked out towards the dressing rooms, going out the back exit usually.

I shoved the keys into my jeans pocket and returned to turning the chairs over onto the table and a strange silence seemed to rise up now between the three of us.

This was weird. Usually, after Victoria left, I could be more myself and talk freely and so did they, knowing our situation. But now, nothing. Maybe I should break the ice.

"So, what kept you two here so late?", I asked. The dancers were out of here by 2am normally.

"We had a private thing…", Emmett said, "A private session with this woman. She liked both of us, so…"

"I thought you didn't…", I looked at Jasper, "do those things, Jazz."

"Have to now.", he shrugged, "I have a cash flow problem. Victoria signed me up for extra stuff."

"Oh.", I felt so badly for Jasper and I felt my stomach sink, "Sorry, Jazz. What happened?"

"My mother.", he shrugged, "Health problems."

"Uh, Edward.", Emmett cut in unceremoniously, "Want some help tomorrow cleaning and all? I know Vic's got some fancy dinner thing happening in the back room tomorrow night. I'm gonna be the waiter anyway."

"Yea, me too.", Jasper said, "Bartending. Then dancing later. I can join you later in the day if that's alright."

"Something's weird here.", I smirked and they both froze for a second, "You both are volunteering to help me all day, on your free time, with no pay? Am I being punked?"

"We just want to help out.", Emmett shrugged, "We're your friends, damn, Edward."

"I know, I'm sorry.", I smiled, "Didn't mean to sound so…ungrateful. I just meant…I can handle it. I'm okay."

Emmett and Jasper looked at each other, not saying anything and for a split second I got a shock of fright that they knew about Sir Kevin. There was a definite gaze of pity for me being passed between them in that moment but I busied myself instead of bringing this up now.

As far as I was concerned, that story…that DAY…would die with me. I could never tell Bella about it, either. I'd die. She'd never look at me the same way again. As it is now, I feared she'd never look at me again without that pity in her eyes that I just watched my only two friends share because of me.

"We know you're okay.", Jasper was flipping a chair as he smiled with affection at me, "But we have your back, Edward. We don't mind being around to help when you need us."

I know they are aware that I'm going to be in slave mode tomorrow night, just by this message Jasper was giving me. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed that they were both going to see me this way, out in the open, not behind the dungeon door. Emmett had seen me in some pretty humiliating situations before, but never Jasper.

Whatever, maybe tomorrow night would never happen anyway. If I got access to the dungeon and got my cloth out of its hiding place, I'd be at Bella's before noon. I'd have to call Ben and tell him to get away from his house for a couple days, just until I could be sure that no one would come there looking for any kind of revenge. I had to get into Victoria's office, too, tomorrow, and take anything that had my information in it, most of all my daughter's address, and Bella's too.

I thanked my buds for their loyalties and then the rest of our cleanup time seemed to go by silently. Once in awhile, I'd hear Jasper whisper something to Emmett and they'd stop talking when I looked over. Maybe they knew how much I cared for Bella and they felt they couldn't trust me anymore. Maybe they thought I was against them and Victoria now, somehow. I kept thinking of something to say to perish those thoughts, but nothing came to mind. It wasn't like I wanted to lie to them, anyway, denying my love for a normal girl, a normal life.

Soon, the club area was pretty clean and Emmett and Jasper were saying their goodbyes to me as I followed them to the back door of the club.

"Uh…Jasper?" I said as we neared the door. Emmett exited already and wasn't looking back to see if Jasper was following.

"Yea?", he turned to me and smiled, holding the arm of his duffle bag and tossing it over his shoulder.

"I…", I began, almost looking down as usual, but then I raised my eyes up and said it, "I am really sorry about…you…needing more money for your Mom."

"Oh.", he glanced away for a moment, looking slightly ashamed, "Don't worry about it, Edward, it's okay."

"No, I mean…", I sighed, "I wish I had some money saved…to give you. What I wanted to tell you is…isn't there another way for you to get the money?"

"Maybe.", Jasper had a strange look on his face, "What do you mean?"

I cleared my throat and said, "I…was like you not so long ago. I know what it's like when you feel like you have no other choice. And you'd do anything to provide for your family, even…extra things here. But I want to tell you something no one else ever told me. Don't."

Jasper frowned and was about to speak again but I cut him off.

"You start out dancing. Then you do a few little extra things. Soon, you offer to do more. Victoria will offer you insane amounts of money for one night's work. It'll sound so good to you at first. Then, before you know it, you belong to her."

"Edward…"

"Get a loan from the bank or maybe ask other relatives to help out.", I suggested, "Rob a bank first if you have to. But don't let her suck you in. You'll never get out."

"I know, Edward.", he said, an intent gaze in his eyes as he put a hand on my shoulder, "Please don't worry about me, okay? I'm not going to get sucked in, I promise."

"Alright.", I decided to end my lecture for now, but I also knew I'd be keeping an eye on Jasper to make sure he wouldn't be tempted to even look down this path, let alone walk it. I would hate to stand by and watch someone else become what I am now. That would be the most terrible crime of all, the crime of standing by doing nothing.

"Be safe, Edward.", Jasper said as he left, punching me lightly in the shoulder, "See you tomorrow."

"See ya.", I waited for him to leave and then I locked the back door.

I nearly ran as I spun around, heading out of the dressing rooms, into the private rooms, then down the stairs to the lower levels of Fire. I got to the dungeon and after a couple of wrong key attempts, I found the correct keys that fit the locks and the door opened.

I am inside the dungeon…alone…free.

It stunk in here, I noticed as I flipped the white light on overhead. Funny how you don't notice the smell while you're trapped inside, only when you've tasted fresh air and return is when you realize what a zoo cage this room is.

"I am out of here.", I growled in triumph as I flipped over the padded leather table and unzipped the underside of it, reaching my hand deep in, feeling for the rough cloth I had pushed in here.

Victoria loved this table and told me how it was her first piece of bondage furniture. It had sentimental value and I knew she'd never get rid of it. Plus, the cloth was inside the leather, sealed in, safe from heat and dirt.

Where the fuck is it?

I kept reaching up into the leather, not finding anything but the rubber layer inside.

"Come on.", I breathed, feeling queasy as I reached in further, all of my arm up to my shoulder inside the unzipped leather sleeve.

"RRRRRRRRRR", I growled, yanking the leather skin off the whole table, not even caring if I ripped it or not.

"No…no…", I searched and shook the leather, getting nothing. No cloth. Nothing.

"What?", I shivered as I looked again, feeling inside the leather sack now with both hands, "Please…"

After ten minutes of groping the table and turning the leather inside out, I still had nothing.

I sank to my knees, gripping my hair tightly with both hands, feeling tears blurring my vision as I tried to think of an explanation, anything...

Only Victoria plays in here. Well, Sir Kevin was in here with me all day that first one, but I never saw him do anything to this table. It couldn't have been him. It had to be Victoria.

She found it. Shit.

I blinked and felt tears skating down my face as I just stared at the open leather sleeve in my lap.

If she found it, she knows I put it in there. If she knows I put it in there, she knows I'm trying to screw her. Maybe that's why Sir Kevin was set loose on me. But she'd been so nice since then, or at least acted that way. What is she playing at?

"Bella.", I breathed, standing up and rushing back out into the hallway, leaving the door ajar and racing up the stairs, two at a time, going to the front door of the club and unlocking it, whipping the door open and standing out in the street with my bare feet.

"CHARLIE!", I shouted, looking into the night, seeing nothing. But I know he's out there somewhere and can see me, "GET IN HERE NOW!"

I went back in and paced a few times, wiping my eyes with angry hands as I waited for Charlie's arrival.

The sound of the door opening alerted me and there was Charlie, looking at me questioningly as I stood still, ready to say the horrible words I had to say.

"What's up, Edward?", he said in his quiet, low voice.

"It's gone.", I said and my body hurt everywhere.

"What's gone?", he stared at me, his voice stronger.

My life, my daughter, my Bella, my hopes, my dreams…

"The cloth!", I choked, "I just got the chance to go in there alone and it's GONE!"

"Shit.", Charlie sighed deeply, looking at the floor.

A dead silence filled the air. I am dead…and I know it.

"Go protect Bella now.", I almost ordered him, "Victoria might have someone coming after her . If I know her, and I do, she'll be wanting to teach me a big lesson, a lesson I won't forget, like last time. She's gonna do something horrible to put me back in my place. Last time, it was the boy. This time, it will be her."

"What about your daughter?", Charlie asked, looking very concerned.

"She won't do that yet.", I thought aloud, "My daughter keeps me close to Victoria, she won't lose that card to play against me. She knows if she hurts my daughter, all bets are off. I'll go after her with all I have, I won't submit to her anymore. She'd only hurt my daughter if I ran away or vanished. She wants to keep me obeying her, wanting to be hers. Just trust me. Go be with Bella."

"But what then?", he asked me.

"Take her home to Forks.", I could hardly say the words, "She'll be safer there and after awhile, I'll convince Victoria that I'm not thinking of running away. Keep a close eye on her for awhile, then it should be safe."

"But what about you?", Charlie squinted, confused.

"What _about_ me?", I looked at him with a stern eye.

"How are we getting you out of here now?", Charlie asked.

"We're not.", I looked at the floor, "I'm staying."

"But, we have—"

"I can't GO!", I closed my eyes, shouting, more angry at myself than at him, "If I had some evidence against her, if I had that cloth, I'd be free and she'd be going to jail. Without anything, there's no way I can leave. She'll get my daughter."

"Listen, Edward,", Charlie began.

"Please go, Charlie.", I went to the door and opened it for him, staring at the handle of the door, not wanting to see the pity in his eyes now.

"Protect your daughter.", I added, "Please."

He sighed and began to slowly walk towards the opened doorway.

It seemed like forever before he stood there and turned to me one last time.

"What do I tell Bella?", he asked very quietly, sounding morose.

My eyes stung at the mention of her and my insides twisted in agony. No message I could send would ease anything. She would suffer. Her heart would hurt, like mine always would now. I could only offer one message.

"Tell her I'm sorry.", I avoided eye contact with Chief Swan, "I never meant to hurt her this way. She'll forget me, in time. Take her home to Forks. Get her out of this fucked place."

"I heard that.", Charlie agreed, stepping out now, "Edward…I will be back. I'm not giving up that easy. Once Bella is safe, I'm coming back to get you out of here, too."

"Okay, Charlie. Take care of her.", I smirked, not really believing that completely, but I did know that Charlie was a good man and cop and wanted to help me. But even he, being a cop, knows that sometimes, some people can't be saved. Some people slip through the cracks and don't get a happily ever after. I was now one of those people.

"Goodnight.", he said as he turned and began to walk away as I closed and locked the door.

I had work to do in a few hours. The first day of the end of my life was tomorrow and I at least wanted to get a little rest before having to endure it. I went back to the dungeon to straighten everything up and lock it up again before I went to bed.

Now I just had to wait for Victoria's lesson, and her reveal that she knew of my little piece of evidence I had hidden in her table. I prayed for Emmett and Jasper, along with Bella and Charlie and Katie that night. Yes, I prayed. I prayed no one else would ever hurt because of me again. Then I thought of Katherine and Joseph. I couldn't stop crying as I laid on my bed in the darkness, seeing so many faces.

I will never get close to anyone again. Every time I do, I get them hurt. It's better to just stay alone, like I was before.

Bella will be the last person I'll ever love.

I could go up to the roof now and let myself fall off. I could go into the dungeon and sharpen Victoria's razors and open my veins. Maybe I'd lock myself in my cage first, just to send her a message.

Yes, I'm still your slave. But I'm a dead slave. You can have my body but you can't keep _me_. You've lost _me_. You never had me.

No. She'll hurt Katie then. Maybe would even kill Katie and her grandparents along with her, just to have one last strike at me, even in my death. She hated to lose games. This was all a big tournament to her.

I am so alone. I am so trapped. I honestly thought I'd be with Bella tomorrow, free and happy. And I cried again, sobbing like a child as a future with Bella slipped further and further away.

Bella and I at the park with Katie…gone.

Bella and Katie proud of me as I worked an honest living, looking up smiling as I came into the house after a day of work…gone.

Bella in a white dress, holding rosebuds and walking towards me, tears in her eyes…Katie ahead of her, the flower girl, tossing pink pedals onto the white silk on the floor below her…gone.

The dream of Bella pregnant with my baby…and me kissing her huge round stomach…gone.

The funny image of Charlie in a black tux escorting Bella down the aisle towards me, his face like stone, his eyes filled with murderous rage at me as they approached…made me laugh through my sobs…but also…gone.

I didn't get any sleep…or rest. And when I looked at my digital alarm clock, the red numbers said 8:43am.

Time to get ready for the day. I had a lot to do. Slaves always do.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

BPOV

I had spent the night at Alice's. After talking to her, she decided to come and get me so I wouldn't be alone. She promised to help me. She said Rosalie would help, too. We would find a way, make a plan. It wasn't impossible.

I must have been really tired because all her assurances sounded so real to me. I believed her, because her tone was so filled with passion and strength, I felt it too.

I tried to sleep, but I kept waking up, sweating, calling out for Edward or thinking Alice was him, and holding her or stroking her as I slept. Poor Alice. She was always so nice and understanding. She never once got mad at me.

Note to self: Nominate Alice for sainthood after this is all over.

It was about 6 in the morning when she gently woke me and said, "Your cell phone rang. It was your Dad."

She handed the phone to me and I sat up, rubbing my eyes, sighing.

I listened to his message that he left me.

"Bella, where are you?", Charlie asked, "I'm at your place now, you're not here. I'm worried. Call me back as soon as you get this. Thanks."

"What the hell!!", I yelled as I dialed Charlie, "He's supposed to be watching Edward!"

"Bella!", he answered, sounding relieved.

"Dad, what's going on?", I asked, the fear in my voice thick, "What happened to Edward? You're supposed to be watching him!"

"Bella, where are you?", Charlie asked, ignoring my questions.

"At Alice's.", I snapped back, "Tell me!"

"Edward is…okay.", Charlie sighed, "It looks like that evidence he hid is gone now, somehow. He got a chance to get it tonight and it wasn't there. Odds are Victoria found it and destroyed it. I'm coming over there. What's Alice's address?"

"Dad, no, go back and protect Edward!", I frowned, "Just because there's no evidence doesn't mean he's not still in trouble. If Victoria found that cloth, then Edward could be killed! Don't let that happen! Go back to him!"

"Bella, no.", Charlie said a bit more loudly, "Edward told me to protect you. He thinks Victoria might come after you to teach him a lesson. I want to get you out of here. We're going home to Forks today."

"DAD!", I felt tears come to my eyes, "No! I'm not leaving him! I called you for help, not to escort me back to Forks! This is my home! Edward is my home! If you want to bail out, then bail out. But I'm staying here. I'm getting Edward out."

I heard a sigh and then dead silence.

"Dad…", I said, "There's more I have to tell you. I have a plan. You won't like it, but…James, my psych professor, came to me the other night. He told me he's Victoria's brother. And Victoria invited him and I…over to the club for dinner…tonight. I told him I'd go."

"What?!!", Charlie growled into the receiver.

"We are trying to make a plan.", I stayed calm, "I would like you in on it. But I'm a member of the team now, not an outsider."

"You're bait, Bella!", he shouted.

"If you don't want to be in the plan, I'm hanging up and we'll call you after it's over.", I warned, "Yes or no?"

He growled again, hating this.

"Dad…", I heard my voice crack, "I'm in love with him. So in love. I won't be able to rest until he's home with me. I need him, Dad. Please. Help us. I need you, too."

Another pause of silence.

Then…"Give me the address, Bella."

He's in! I knew he'd be there for me. He didn't have to like it, but he was always there when I needed him. And God knows I need him now.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Love

WinndSinger

PS Sorry I've been gone so long, family stuff. Or as Edward would say, "Personal reasons." LOL

Next chapter will be more exciting than this one!

Thanks for reading !!


	32. Whatever Edward isI am too

32

BPOV

James was driving us to dinner and the silence had been deafening. We were almost there when he finally said something to me.

"You still don't trust me, do you?", he smirked as he glanced at my face, my eyes staring straight ahead through the windshield.

"I don't trust anyone anymore.", I said coldly, not making any effort to look at him.

I looked down at my fingers and smiled to myself as Edward's ring beamed up at me. This is the friendship ring I gave him, the one he left behind for me to guard. I hoped, no matter what he heard or saw tonight, he'd see this on my finger, and know I am still his friend. I am still the one who loves him. I prayed for him to be brave tonight. I kept picturing his expressions and reactions when he saw me coming into the club with James on my arm.

I was also wearing Edward's bear claw necklace, and it went nicely with the dress Alice lent me for tonight. I was just going to come in my jeans and a blouse, but Alice insisted I look the part, so she took over my costuming. She almost made me wear three inch heels but I convinced her I might have to do some running tonight, so she allowed me to wear one inch heels instead.

"You look very beautiful tonight.", James said and instantly my skin began to crawl.

I already know James isn't my friend. Anyone willing to bring me into Victoria's club, even with the premise that he's going to help me, isn't worried about my safety. He's taking a chance with my life by bringing me there. He's risking me getting hurt. So in part, my agreeing to go with him, and him accepting that, was a test from me. And James failed. Edward would never have let me go near Fire after that incident when Victoria threatened me. Even if it was to save his life, he wouldn't use me or risk me at all.

I know who my friends are.

"I'm just playing my part.", I looked out the side window of the car, trying to keep strong, thinking of what I'd have to do when we got there. What would Edward look like? What would he do? What would he say?

"I know.", James said with a pleasant voice, "I'm sorry you have to do this. Believe me, once she thinks you don't care about Edward, and he doesn't care about you, she'll be alright. Edward will be safe. You'll be safe."

"Mmmm hmmm.", I felt myself getting pissed off. This act of James' to help me was fooling no one. And it was insulting to think James found me this stupid and gullible.

We pulled up to the club and my stomach sank. Could I really do this? I have to.

"Here we are.", James announced.

"I have eyes.", I opened my door and got out before he could come around and help me out.

As James came up to me I said, "It's cold tonight."

It's not cold. This is May. That was my code to Charlie, telling him I was here and going inside now. I wore a little bug behind the bear claw of Edward's necklace that I was wearing. I looked east and saw the quick flash of headlights, Charlie signaling he heard me and was there.

I felt so bad for my father, having to sit out there, waiting…listening…taping everything the bug would hear tonight. I asked him to promise not to do anything stupid if things went wrong or sounded too dangerous. He didn't. I can't say I was surprised or blame him, but I had to try.

I know Charlie would give his life for mine. I just hoped I'd never have to see him do it, or even risk it.

"Cold?", James curled his arm around me, his cotton shirtsleeve on my bare arm, "It's like 75 degrees!"

I hate him touching me. But I let it be for now, letting him think I was going along with his plan until mine began to come together.

Great, now I'm nauseous. I'd love to throw up all over Victoria. I think it would be one of the most significant moments of my life.

I took a deep breath as he opened the door for me to enter the club. James knew the club and the employees well and he just breezed past the man at the door, taking me with him as he passed the busy, loud club area and went right, unlocking a door that said Employees Only. We went in, and it was very quiet. A long hallway was before us, with plush red carpeting, white walls.

I could hear beautiful opera music as we neared another door at the end of the hall and James knocked on it, winking at me, tightening his arm around me as I winced a little.

I wondered who would be answering it. Please not Edward. Please.

The door finally opened and I felt a little gush of air escape my lungs as I looked up, readying myself for anything.

It was Victoria. Answering her own door? Where are all her slaves? Maybe she knew it was me and just had to be the first one to confront me tonight.

She was dressed in a gorgeous gown, a white and black creation that looked like something you'd see Angelina Jolie wearing to the Oscars. Her hair was down but styled very perfectly.

She smiled at us like we were her best friends in the world. Funny, considering last time we met, she tried to slash my face.

I tried to smile, knowing I was already in danger of being seen for the fraud I was.

"James!", she put her arms around James and I broke contact with him, not wanting her to touch me more than necessary.

"Hey woman!", he hugged her back. They certainly didn't look like siblings who didn't agree with each other's lifestyles.

Then she looked at me and said, "Thanks so much for coming!"

And she embraced me, too. I had to force myself to pat my hands on her back, seeming to return her affection.

"Come in, come in!", she pulled me in by the hand and I swallowed, adjusting my necklace to make sure it hadn't turned or revealed the bug on it.

My eyes were almost afraid to see what was inside but my legs were working, following.

James was right beside me and I felt myself looking for Edward as the opera music intensified, a woman's voice high and singing gloriously above us.

There was a medium sized dining room table there, completely decked out with nice china, candles, flowers. As Victoria led us to our seats, around the other side of the table, I saw him. He wore no shirt but had on a black leather thong. No shoes. His hands were cuffed by leather and chains behind him and he was kneeling on the carpet at the side of the chair at the head of the table, his head down, his face calm and dormant…a leather blindfold over his eyes.

I let out a little disturbed breath but no one heard it over the music. James stroked my hair in the back, sensing my thoughts as we looked at him. He had still not heard me speak, I'm sure he didn't know I was even here. But as Victoria seated us right next to her chair, on her left side, putting me right next to Edward, I feared the secret would be out very soon.

James pushed in my chair for me and took his seat next to mine. Victoria was watching me closely as I ignored Edward and took a sip of my water, pretending nothing was there, at least while she was staring at my reaction.

"We have one other guest coming.", Victoria informed, "Please make yourself at home and order a drink while we're waiting."

She walked away and I saw Emmett come in from another doorway to the right. Probably the kitchen area. When he saw me, he looked surprised but held it together better than I was.

I smiled slightly at him, feeling myself exhale. It felt good to see a friend here.

But I had to act like I didn't know Emmett.

I glanced at Edward now, Victoria out of my sight, and saw something. It was very subtle, but I noticed. He inhaled. Then his face, well, his mouth tightened a little and his brow creased. Was he smelling my shampoo or soap? I was using the strawberry combo again, as usual.

He stayed as still as a statue, and I noticed his scars were almost invisible. His hair was perfectly groomed and I ached to touch it. I would only have to lean over a bit to reach him.

Hang on, baby. You're not alone. I'm here to take you home.

Emmett asked James, "What can I get for you, Sir?"

Good. He was trying not to alert Edward to my presence yet.

"What would you like, sweetheart?", James took my hand again.

I frowned and shook my head at Emmett, not wanting a drink right now. I needed one, but, for some reason I didn't want Edward knowing I was here. I tried to put it off as long as possible. I wasn't sure if he could handle it yet. I wasn't sure if I could handle it yet.

"Rum and coke.", James ordered, "And bring my girl a red wine."

"Yes Sir.", he looked up into my eyes and gave me a warm little smile, turning and heading back through the door he came in through.

"Dinner smells good.", James leaned in, almost whispering in my ear, "You smell good, too. BELLA."

Prick! Edward heard that. I hate you James!

I turned and felt tears mist in my eyes as Edward's mouth opened and then his jaw tensed. His brows slanted in anguish and his breathing began to quicken. But he didn't break his position. He remained there, as ordered, and wordlessly wrestled with all the emotions raging in his head at the moment.

"Edward…", I breathed, almost so low that even James didn't hear it.

But then Victoria was coming back in, saying, "Our last guest has arrived."

I couldn't tear my eyes from Edward but made myself do it as James stood up, greeting the newcomer. I stood and turned my head in his direction, and my body froze.

"Raven, nice to see you again.", James kissed her cheek and embraced her, "This is my date, Bella Swan."

I heard Edward let out another hard breath behind me and I was holding one of my own in as I tried to act like I've never seen this woman before.

"Hello.", I cracked a smile, "Nice to meet you."

"Raven and Swan.", she smiled wickedly at me and I'm sure she knew who I was, "Two very different birds. One lovely and soft. One dark and lethal."

Nice conversation starter.

"Looks can be very deceiving.", I replied, "I'll bet on a protective swan over a little crow any day."

I heard Edward give a little groan behind me, clearly not enjoying our conversation at all.

"Excuse me.", she smiled and moved around us to approach Edward. I half spun, watching her like a hawk, another fierce bird.

"Edward!", she took his face into her hands, tilting it up towards hers, "You look so beautiful!"

His lips tried to smile and she added, "You may speak."

"Thank you, Raven.", he said and I thought my heart would break at the sound of it. I felt like I hadn't heard his voice for two thousand years.

Victoria watched them, smiling like Raven was playing with her dog, as if to say, isn't that cute?

"She is obsessed with my pet.", Victoria shared with James.

"Come.", Raven tapped the side of Edward's cheek and he winced slightly, opening his lips and kissing her mouth as she leaned down, giving it to him.

I couldn't look away, even though I wanted to. I'd never seen him performing his slave duties to these bitches, I'd only imagined it. I can't imagine how hard it must be for him normally, let alone now. I didn't feel much jealousy or anger towards Edward. This was his way of life for so long, it's how he survived…and helped Katie survive. I only felt a deeper sadness for him as I watched the kiss intensify and deepen.

"Mmmm…", Raven placed three more small kisses on his shiny lips and stroked his hair with both hands, "I love those lips."

She brought his face to her chest and was really stroking his scalp through his hair as she looked at Victoria and said, almost irately, "When are you going to let me have this pup? I've waited forever!"

Victoria laughed and shook her head, "I told you, when I'm bored of him, he's yours. It's not my fault he never gets boring."

"And he keeps getting cuter and sexier, too.", Raven took another look down at the blindfolded face.

Then she grabbed the back of his hair and her other hand pinched at his right nipple, hard.

Edward moaned out, cringing a bit, making a beautiful submissive expression, his head pulled back by the hair.

"SSSSS", he hissed as Raven toyed with him. I could see he was trying to hold it together and pretend I wasn't here, watching this. It might have been easier for him with the blindfold on.

"Good boy…so good…", Raven twisted his nipple as Edward stayed in position, enduring it quietly.

"Come on, sit down and have a drink.", Victoria rolled her eyes at Raven, taking her own seat at the head of the table.

Emmett was coming back into the room with our drinks and placed them down. Raven tried to sit in my chair next to Edward but I darted in front of my seat, blocking her.

"This is MY place.", I stated firmly, my eyes not afraid to glare into hers.

Raven smirked at me and took a step or two back, moving to Victoria's right side, sitting down and ordering a hard drink from Emmett.

James and I sat down, and again, James pushed my chair in for me.

"Come here, boy.", Victoria patted her leg and Edward stiffly moved to her side, very close to her.

"Let's take this off.", she unbuckled the blindfold at the back of his head, "Those eyes are too gorgeous to keep hidden for long."

"That's the truth.", Raven watched admiringly as the blindfold laid on the table and Edward's eyes blinked open a couple times.

Raven gave a light gasp, enjoying the view, "Magical…", she whispered.

I forced myself to look away, anywhere else. I was afraid to see how he would look at me. He had told me to stay away from here, to be safe.

"No female subs?", James smiled, "Doesn't anyone ever bring me a snack anymore?"

Victoria laughed, "Shut up, James, you have a gorgeous woman of your own now."

I looked at her and at Edward. His eyes were cast down at the floor, but the pain there was obvious.

"That's the truth.", James repeated Raven's statement from earlier, putting his arm around me again, his nose touching my hair as I smiled weakly.

Under the table, I wiggled the middle finger wearing Edward's friendship ring at his downcast eyes.

It wasn't easy to do with Victoria sitting there, but I did it. And I think Edward saw it.

His eyes rose up a bit, finding mine as I glanced at him, winking for a quarter of a split second.

"So how long have you two been dating now?", Victoria asked, sounding happy for us.

I let James answer that. He was already jumping in anyway.

"We've been dating on an off for about a year now.", James said, "We've had to be careful because she's still a student and I'm a teacher. But, we're really together now. Your pet, there, Edwin, really helped Bella see some important things."

"Edward.", I corrected, hating James and his yukky story about us.

"Whatever.", James grinned, "She told me that their sex was great, but there was no real emotion involved. It was all so mechanical. It made her realize how much better it is to make love instead of just fucking in different sleazy little scenarios. As soon as he left, she came to me and we've been together ever since."

You cocksucker. I only pray Edward's not believing a fucking word of that. Poor Charlie…he can hear all this too. He's gonna kill me.

"Lo Mein.", I said clearly and Edward's eyes nearly sparkled as he eyed me carefully, not being caught by anyone.

"What?", James squinted, smiling.

"I thought I smelled Lo Mein.", I grinned at Edward, "In the kitchen."

There you go, sweet heart. Don't you believe anything except I love you. I moved my fingers over my necklace and Edward noticed that, too.

Smart Edward. He understood. He smiled at me.

"No, I don't think so.", Victoria pondered, totally out of the loop on our secret word.

Emmett was bringing Raven's drink to her now and he asked Victoria if she cared for anything. She ordered a vodka on the rocks.

The conversation stalled for a minute or two but then Victoria sighed and glanced at Edward.

"Come here, baby.", she beckoned to Edward and he moved on his knees towards her. I saw Raven's eyes staring at his perfect ass as he was turned to his side now.

She gently moved his head to her lap and turned his face towards me, laying his cheek on her dress as she played with his hair, casually, as if she hardly was paying him any attention.

He looked at me and his eyes shined a little as Victoria was talking idly with Raven. A hundred things were being said to me from those eyes.

_Why are you here?_

_I'm sorry._

_I'm afraid for you._

_Get out of here, Bella._

_Don't see me this way._

_I hate what I am._

_Save yourself, Bella._

_I'm so ashamed._

I might have been showing too much emotion as I looked back into his eyes, but I couldn't look upon him with cold, uncaring eyes anymore. My eyes kept saying I love you over and over again. They said hang on. Be strong. We will survive this. We will be free. We will be together.

His eyes closed and his body shivered a little and I looked up at Victoria, wondering if she'd feel it…it would give him away.

"What do you think, Bella?", Victoria asked me, and Raven was looking at me too.

"What?", I asked, feeling like a kid in class who wasn't paying attention to the teacher as he spoke.

"Do you prefer dominating…or are you a sub?", Victoria asked, adding, "And James, you shut up, I want her to answer."

I almost wanted to say, 'Neither. I'm normal.' But I knew that wouldn't be taken lightly by this crowd. Edward opened his eyes and they widened a little at me.

I knew I had to lie. I was weighing my options both ways and I realized I was taking too long when they both laughed at me.

"See, this is a play party.", Victoria spoke to me like I was a toddler, "After dinner, we will begin to play. We were just curious what you are. It'll help the games."

Edward was panting harder now and I felt Victoria stroking her fingernails along the back of his neck as if he were a silly puppy she were soothing, hardly giving him a thought.

This is a play party. James you fuck.

I almost said I liked to dominate but I'd die before I put myself in the same category with these sick bitches.

So I dared it.

"I'm a sub.", I said squarely right back at them, unafraid.

"NO!", Edward lunged at me a bit but Victoria smiled, ready for that, and yanked him back to her lap.

Anything you are, Edward, I am too. If I have to choose a team, I choose Team Edward.

"Shhh, boy.", she said to him but kept smirking at me, playfully covering Edward's mouth, inserting a finger into his mouth as his eyes closed, pained.

"Yea, the best sex I ever had was when Edward tied me to a stool in my apartment and spanked me.", I felt so brave suddenly, mentally apologizing to my Dad as I said the words. I'd be in a convent full of nuns if I ever made it out of here alive.

"Ughhh…", Edward was muffled by two of Victoria's fingers now in his mouth but I stayed strong. Show no weakness. Show them what it looks like when someone stands up to them. Let's see how dominant they are now.

James gave me a strange look, as if I were doing something wrong. I just smiled at him, crossing my arms as Emmett placed Victoria's vodka glass down before her.

"Thank you Emmett.", she smiled up at him and he returned the smile.

She took the glass in her hand as Emmett began to walk away, glancing back at her.

"Come here, baby, drink.", Victoria jerked Edward's face up and poured the drink into his mouth.

Emmett spun around, his mouth falling open as Edward swallowed the bitter drink.

I felt scared, seeing Emmett's reaction to this. What was in that drink?

Edward coughed a little, taken by surprise by the drink suddenly, and again, he was looking at me, fear painted in his eyes.

"Good, I can tie you back to back with Edward, here and we can have a little contest to see which holds out longer.", Victoria giggled, delighted with her idea.

Emmett blinked in disbelief and rushed back into the kitchen.

"I like it.", Raven grinned, "I volunteer to handle Bella."

"Bring it on.", I put on my tough game face, smirking.

A ragged breath came out of Edward, I knew this was putting him through Hell and I hated it, but we would have to go through Hell to get out of here. I was willing to do that for him…and us.

Emmett soon brought out the food for all of us and I found myself just picking at it, keeping my mind on all the details of our plan.

Victoria hardly ate, either, but she did enjoy feeding bites of her food to Edward, who knelt at her side obediently, looking at me every so often, his eyes lost and frightened with intense sorrow.

James ate like there was no tomorrow and Raven ate some of her food, not all of it.

Victoria fed Edward a piece of steak and the steak sauce was on her fingers. Without a word, she held her fingers to his mouth and he looked at me in shame, licking off and sucking each fingertip, tears almost filling his eyes as he stared at me, closing his eyes as he reached the third finger, unable to face me anymore during this task.

Raven's eyes were always on Edward and I noticed that. She envied Victoria. She wanted Edward and she looked heartbroken every time the two interacted.

Maybe I could use that. Turn Raven and Victoria on one another. Psychology could come in very useful here, I thought, surprised and amazed by that fact.

I joined in the conversation and said, "So, Raven, Edward tells me you are one wicked dominatrix…maybe even more intense than Victoria."

Victoria's smile stalled as she regarded me but I smiled more, looking at Raven's pleased face.

Edward couldn't help it, his eyes darted up to me and rounded in shock at me.

"Is that so?", Victoria looked at Edward and picked up her steak knife, slightly placing the sharp tip to Edward's ass cheek, getting a gasp from him.

"No, Mistress.", he breathed, "You…only you."

I held my breath, glancing Raven's way now. Good, Edward. Hang in there.

"Of course he says that when there's a knife in his ass.", Raven took a sip of her drink, "But Edward talks to clients about me, even when I'm not around…or you, Vicky."

"Don't be so sure, Raven.", Victoria sneered, "He does anything I say. If I ordered him to go fuck my brother right now, he'd do it."

Edward groaned, closing his eyes as James scoffed, "Leave me out of this. I don't want Edwin fucking me, thanks, though."

"His name is Edward, Jamie!", I scowled at James.

"Whatever."

"I say we settle this tonight, once and for all.", Raven suggested, frowning, "Whoever gets the safe word out of him, wins him."

No. No. No. This is taking a wrong turn. Fix it, Bella!

"I don't have to fight for something that's already mine.", Victoria frowned defensively, "End of discussion. Edward is mine. He's going to remain mine. And if you keep pissing me off, when it's time, I'll give him to Sir Kevin instead as a birthday gift."

Wrong bitch. Edward is mine. God, am I no better than them? I felt so guilty for that thought, but it just slipped into mind. Maybe deep down we're all doms and subs.

"You're just afraid that you'll lose.", Raven challenged, "When Edward's with me, he says he loves me, he adores me."

"He's PAID to!", Victoria stood up, grabbing Edward's hair tight as he winced, "He's very fucking good at it! Even this dumb little bitch believes he's in love with her!"

She jerked her head at me now and Edward opened his eyes, struggling a little in his cuffs as James chuckled.

"Victoria…", Edward began to struggle a bit more, his wrists tightly pinned behind him. He began to rise off his knees but she shoved him to the floor, onto his ass.

"Emmett!!", Victoria screamed and I froze, looking at Raven's face as Emmett entered from the kitchen.

"Yes, Victoria?", he asked respectfully.

"Raven…", Victoria frowned, removing her belt and looping it around Edward's neck securely, holding him close to her leg, "Are these the two who rescued Edward from your place that night?"

She looked at me and then again at Emmett, confirming it.

"Yes.", she crossed her arms.

"Dead shit, Emmett.", Victoria sneered as two large men came up behind him, a towel tightly capturing his face as they shoved him to the wall, handcuffing his hands behind him.

"Take him outside, in back. Beat him unrecognizable for starters..", Victoria ordered as Edward struggled harder, choking from the tight grip the belt had around his own neck the more he fought.

"It was my idea!", I jumped up, tears in my eyes, "Don't hurt him!"

"Emmett!", Edward said in a strangled cry, growling as they took Emmett away.

"It was her fault!", Edward groaned loudly, "She intended to keep me again! She had no plans on letting me go! It was past the time I was supposed to leave!"

"Don't care.", Victoria sneered at him, "He broke the rules. You broke the rules. I told you, you're not allowed friends. You can kiss Emmett goodbye."

"No, please don't, Victoria!", Edward pleaded, "I'm sorry, so sorry! Please!"

"James, do something.", I said to him, knowing he was a traitor and a liar, but this would be my proof of it.

"I will.", he said, and the next thing I knew, I was being thrown into the table.

"Bella Swan…", James was handcuffing me and I heard Edward yelling at the top of his lungs.

"No!!!", I could hear Edward's guttural screams while James grabbed me up by my hair.

"You belong to me now.", James seethed in my ear as I focused and saw Edward, being overtaken by those men that had taken Emmett a minute ago.

"All of them, downstairs.", Victoria grumbled, displeased as she followed the men who were shoving Edward around. James had me by the hair, shoving me after them.

We went through another door that lead downstairs without having to go through the club, no one would see us.

Raven was walking along with the group, not saying a word but the noise was obviously all coming from Edward.

"Not yet Charlie.", I said in a low voice into my necklace, drowned out by Edward's screaming voice.

It was dark going down this hallway. I couldn't see him, but I could hear him.

"You WILL NOT hurt Emmett OR BELLA!!", he was roaring, "I won't let you, you murdering BITCH!! TAKE YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF ME, YOU GOD DAMNED CHILD MOLESTERS!!"

The traffic stopped then in the narrow hallway and I screamed as I heard a scuffle and fists punching flesh. Edward's shouts quieted and then I heard him coughing wetly in the dark.

"Got anything else to say?", a man's voice asked.

"Edward!", I shivered.

"Don't hit his face.", I heard Raven say in Edward's defense.

"If you hurt them, Victoria…", Edward's voice sounded evil and almost psychotic now, "I'll kill you with my own hands."

I heard Edward shout out again, as if the wind had been knocked out of him, as if he were being punched in the stomach – hard.

"STOP IT!", I tried to move towards them but James' arm curled around my neck, holding me to him, "LEAVE HIM ALONE!!"

"Move this into the dungeon.", Victoria said, "Every few years this pup needs a little reminder."

"NO!!", Edward roared as we began moving again, "BELLA!! RUN!!"

"It will be okay.", I said quietly into my necklace, giving Charlie a message, "It's okay."

James thought I was assuring myself of this and he chuckled behind me.

"You'll be okay, Bella.", he whispered to me, "A little punishment for you and then we're outta here. We can begin your training first thing in the morning. You'll like it at my place. My dungeon is much nicer than Victoria's."

"I knew it.", I gritted, "Having just one sick fuck in the family was too good to be true."

I could hear Edward ahead of me, resisting very hard, it sounded like as they were taking him into the dungeon again.

"Chain him there. Hoist him up.", I heard Victoria demanding as James and I walked through the darker end of the hall.

"It's alright, sweetie.", I heard Raven saying to Edward in the background, "Just relax."

"BELLA!!", he shouted, panting, growling in protest as I began to see a red light and a doorway.

"Where's BELLA?!!", he screamed as I heard a chain clanging.

"Don't worry, she's coming.", Victoria cooed, "This punishment wouldn't be half as effective without HER."

"No, Victoria!", he was struggling fiercely when I was brought in.

I could see him now, hanging by his wrists, on tiptoes, wildly thrashing around in vein as the two men left the room, not needed anymore.

"Guard this room.", Victoria told them, "Kill anyone who tries to come in this hallway."

Good, Charlie heard that. I didn't want them trying to come in until we found something or got Victoria to confess to something that would stick. I pictured Alice and Rosalie, wearing their disguises, sneaking into Victoria's office to hack into her computer and find any type of incriminating evidence against her. They wore wigs and pretended to be women in the club, customers.

"Calm down, angel.", Raven was trying to relax Edward but he kept roaring out, enraged.

"He's never like this with me.", Raven commented, shaking her head at Victoria, watching as James brought me closer to where Edward was hanging.

"Hang her right next to him.", Victoria said to James as Edward kept struggling.

"NO!!", Edward yelled, "Don't touch her!! I swear to GOD, VICTORIA!!"

"LET HER GO!!", Edward screamed out louder.

"Edward…it's okay.", I tried to sound tough, although inside I was freaking out.

I never saw Edward this way, so out of control. He could barely form real words as James uncuffed my wrists from behind me, then Victoria was cuffing my wrists with leather restraints in front, clipping them into a hook.

Edward was growling and struggling like a tiger, screaming out and almost whimpering as he looked at me and Victoria moved back to a lever, turning it, making my cuffs raise up on the hook, slowly brining me to my tiptoes right across from Edward.

"No, please, Victoria!!! I'll do whatever you say!!", Edward panted, tears in his eyes, his teeth gritted in frustration as he bared his teeth and lunged again, uselessly caught in his own cuffs.

"Ow.", I winced, already finding it hard to keep up on my toes, pulled so high up this way.

Raven was behind Edward, rubbing his back affectionately as James began unbuttoning his own shirt, slipping it off and tossing it aside. Victoria just turned and went to another corner of the room

Edward's breathing was deep and fast, his fists jerked in his cuffs. He sounded in pain.

"Victoria, I'm begging you!!", Edward was looking at her, his eyes wild, "Please!! I've given you everything I am! I've never asked for ANYTHING !! Please…just give me this one thing. Please let her go!! PLEASE!!"

I took this small little opportunity to help him. I knew they were watching me but I didn't care. Victoria wouldn't listen to him, as heartbreaking as his plea was, I knew it would do me no good. But I loved him with all my heart for saying the words.

"How adorable.", Victoria smiled, "Trying to protect your girl."

I put my forehead to his and closed my eyes, my nose nuzzling against his.

"Shhhhh….", I whispered and right away he began to quiet a little, "It's alright. Shhhh…we're together again. Nothing can hurt us now. Breathe…"

Edward whimpered, trying to relax…but I'm sure he knew better than I did what these people could do. And that there was plenty that could hurt us now. But I also knew we weren't alone here. I wish I could've told him that. I was certain my father could now help Emmett and I prayed those men didn't hurt Charlie instead. It was two against one. But I'll also bet Emmett is pretty dangerous, even handcuffed. He once beat two men that were hurting Edward in that same back alleyway.

"Sweet, aren't they?", James commented behind me.

"RRRRRRRRRR!!!!", Edward frowned again, lunging at James, but his chains jerked him back again, and he cried out in a bit of pain.

"See, I don't blame you, Edward.", Victoria was coming back over to us as I felt James behind me, lifting my right leg and taking my shoe off.

"You're a man.", Victoria continued, "You are always so proper and obedient. Once in awhile, the testosterone must rise and then you burst out, like you are now, a writhing beast that wants to challenge me. It's natural. I don't mind going through this with you every so often. But I have to correct your mistake. And enforce my rules."

James had my other shoe off now and Edward was growling again, low in his chest as he watched James.

"Bella…", Edward cried softly, shaking.

Then James stood and I felt the zipper of my dress in back pulling down my spine, the little sound almost echoed in the air.

Again, Edward screamed out and tried to thrash at James, but he only hurt himself again.

I braced myself, feeling my insides turn to jelly. Being naked in front of strangers was something Edward had to live with but I'm also sure he clearly remembers the first time in Victoria's office when he had to strip and let her look him over while the loan sharks were waiting downstairs to kill him. Be brave, I told myself, using my mind to fight them. Keep in control. Don't let this break you. That's what they want. Pretend you still have clothes on. They can't hurt me. They can't hurt me.

I felt a scissor snip at the shoulders of my dress while Edward's pained breathing kept getting more and more hollow and anguished.

This was the most cruel punishment of all for him. Not being hurt himself, having to watch someone he cared for being hurt right in front of him, and him helpless to do anything about it but watch.

"Shhhhh….", Raven was trying to ease Edward now, hugging him from behind and moving her hands over his perfect chest softly, she laid her head on his back but he still didn't calm down at all.

I could use Raven here. When the time is right, I can use her to my advantage. She cares for Edward. She's a sick bitch, but she cares. I can use that.

A hard tug on the fabric and my breasts were exposed now, my black bra staring Edward in the face as he bellowed obscenities at James.

The bottom half of my dress fell to the floor in a puddle and I was in my bra and panties now.

I went to the one place I could be brave. I leaned my head back to Edward's and closed my eyes, hearing him crying and feeling his tears on my own face as I felt the scissors cutting at my underwear, being roughly yanked from me. I shivered but I didn't cry. I didn't scream. I was with Edward. I am okay. I am fine. I kept willing my brain to accept these messages as truth.

"I'm sorry, Bella.", he sobbed, "I am so fucking sorry."

"I'm not.", I said and his eyes opened to stare into mine, in awe at what I'd just said.

"I'd rather be here with you now…than anywhere else in the world.", I whispered to him. James was talking to Victoria and Raven a couple feet away now, no doubt preparing their little game.

"I've missed you, Edward.", I whispered, letting my body touch his, hearing his breathing calm a bit, "Be strong. We will get out of this. I love you. I love you more than anything, Edward Cullen."

He let out another tortured sob and whispered, "I love you, Bella Swan."

I kissed his salty lips with all the passion I had in me and he returned it ten fold. For a moment, I forgot the situation we were in, where we were.

A hard lash whipped out and Edward's back arched a bit, his growl loud and labored.

"Break over.", Victoria announced, holding a chain whip in her hand.

My necklace was still on and I was glad. Even if they took it off me and tossed it to the ground, the bug would still work, so it didn't really matter. But I liked it that Edward could see it. Maybe it would bring him strength…it would bring US strength. We would need it now.

I was terrified of the pain they would inflict upon us. I was afraid of dieing here. But, looking into Edward's eyes…I felt braver. For him, for the love he's given me, I would gladly endure anything they could dish out. His touch is worth a hundred thousand deaths.

But Edward defied her and gave me another soft kiss.

James was stroking my hair and moving his fingers down my bare back as I clenched my eyes shut.

"I knew you had a tight little body under those sweaters.", James reached around and cupped my right breast in his hand.

I tensed and let a little scream escape me and Edward shouted again, a shout of anger and pain.

"Let's get started, shall we?", Victoria asked, "Let's start with our new toy."

"She's NOT a TOY!!", Edward roared.

"She is now.", Victoria said, playing with Edward's hair, "She is James' new toy. So don't be afraid. I won't kill her. But she deserves a little punishment for leading you astray. Then James will take her home. Maybe, if you behave, and after Bella learns her place, we can all play together sometimes, like we are now. This way, I know you'll behave…and so will she. If either of you steps out of line, all we have to do is call each other and set up a play date."

"RRRRR!!!!", Edward raged, jerking away from her hand in his hair, struggling and yanking on his arms again, in vein.

"James…begin discipline on your bitch.", Victoria took a step or two back, unsnapping the leather thong from the front of Edward's crotch, making him as naked as I was.

"So difficult to decide what to do first.", he was touching me again, palming my ass as I closed my eyes and tensed, trying to block it out of my mind, using Edward's face near mine for courage.

"She's so new to all this.", James pondered out loud.

I opened my eyes and found Victoria and made my voice loud.

"At least you won't be chopping off my fingers and eating them.", I sneered at her and Edward's eyes snapped open, looking at me with terror.

Victoria just stared.

"I know you've killed people in here before.", I stated, "I know about Jason White. I'm sure he's just one of the many people you've murdered!"

"Bella, don't.", Edward breathed.

"I don't know what you're talking about.", Victoria gave me a lethal glare, "Shut her up, James."

Then I felt a thin, hard instrument crack down hard across both my asscheeks.

The force of it and the bite was super intense. I couldn't help it, I screamed out like a savage, tears welling up instantly in my eyes.

"You FUCKING BASTARD!", Edward raged, "That cane is not for beginners, you FAGGOT!!"

I don't think they're considering the etiquette associated with responsible masters and safe, sane, consensual players. The tears spilled from my eyes and ran down my cheeks as I shivered violently and breathed heavy…trying to wait the pain out, hoping it would fade.

James laughed and so did Victoria. I didn't hear anything from Raven.

Edward was kissing my forehead, then my cheek, trying to calm me, his own body trembled as his eyes closed, another tear or two trickling out of the corners.

He just kept whispering over and over again, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry…I'm sorry…"

I kept thinking of what Edward told me about pain and pleasure…I wish I could learn to be tougher. I needed it right now. My body wasn't hardened or ready for this. Edward would see me hurt greatly and I wouldn't be able to hold it in or pretend.

"Maybe he's right.", James chuckled, handing it to Victoria, "Edward is no beginner, is he, Vic?"

"Absolutely not.", she smirked, taking it, "Although the way he's acting tonight, who could tell?"

"No.", I whimpered, knowing they'd hurt Edward now.

"It's okay.", he whispered to me, almost inaudibly.

"Now, Edward, every time you scream, Bella will pay for it.", Victoria informed.

His lips pursed together and his jaw tightened as I felt James' fingers caressing the line he'd made across my butt. I wanted to get sick all over him, right now.

"Five lashes to start off.", Victoria said behind Edward, "Count off, boy."

I heard the cane slice through the air, a horrible WHOOSH sound and then a very loud crack snapped in my ears.

Shivering again, tighter than before, Edward bit down harder, his face trembling and his eyes closed as he silently endured the first lash.

"One." He gritted through his teeth.

CRACK!!.

Edward's back arched and his forehead left mine as he looked straight up at the ceiling, breathing deeper and giving a small growl.

"Two."

Tears fell from my eyes again as I blinked, hating this. I know how it hurts and he is just taking it, without even the luxury of getting to scream or howl out to release a little bit of that torment. I began to cry, softly, unable to hold it in anymore as the third blow was struck.

With a sudden jerk of the head, his face was back near mine again and his whole body quivered in pain.

"Three.", he breathed hotly across my face.

"Edward, scream if you have to, please.", I pleaded tearfully, kissing his chin, the closest part of him near my lips.

"For what?", he tried to smile at me, "This doesn't hurt."

SLASH!!

That last comment by him made Victoria angry and I could tell this particular blow was very hard. Edward shook harder, against my body and squeezed his eyes tight, panting for air.

"Four."

"One more.", Victoria bit on her bottom lip and really swung it this time.

Edward nearly did scream out that time. But he held it in, his head bending down tight and his fists struggling above him, clanging the chains. His breaths came in fast, hard gusts…and when he looked up at me, and opened his eyes, tears trailed down on both sides of his face.

"Five.", he choked.

I saw Raven behind Edward, now taking a moment to ease his pain. Victoria stepped away while Raven planted soft kisses over the welts the cane left behind. She began licking the harsh lines as Edward nuzzled his face into my neck.

"No screaming.", Victoria said, slapping Edward's ass hard, "That means you get another turn and Bella gets a pass this round."

Edward let out a sigh of relief and I swear I think I saw him smile. He had spared me some pain, for now, and he looked so proud of himself for finding a way to protect me.

I hadn't heard anything from James that whole time. I wondered why.

"What's your problem?", Victoria said to James behind me.

"I don't know.", James sat on a table a couple feet away, "I feel so…out of it. Tired."

"James told me all about Jason White.", I inserted now, watching Victoria's face, "He told my father everything, too. NYPD knows, too. He's telling everyone everything about you. He's sick of playing teacher. He's tired of babysitting you. He wants what's yours. He wants this place. He wants to be free of you…for good."

"Bullshit!", James sneered as Victoria looked at him, a look of distrust now there.

A chain looped around my neck then and it tightened, James closing it behind my neck as Edward screamed.

"You better start telling the truth if you want air, you little bitch!", James sneered as I felt the chain dig in a bit, making it very difficult to breathe.

"NO!!", Edward screamed, pleading, "Victoria, STOP HIM!!"

"Tell her the TRUTH, BELLA!", James tightened it, "NOW!!"

Gasping, I kept to my story. She would never believe I was lying to them while being choked.

"Jasper is in on it with James.", I choked, "Jasper wanted to work the bar so he could spike your drinks tonight. He spiked yours, to put you to sleep so he could kill you easier. But you made Edward drink it. Just watch, Edward will start to get sleepy any minute. He'll fall asleep."

"Let her go.", Victoria demanded to James, "She's telling the truth, isn't she?"

"Oh, come on!", James argued, letting go of the chain around my throat, "You're gonna believe her lies after all we've been through together?!"

I gulped up the air and stared into Edward's relieved face, feeling his cheek stroking itself up and down mine to give me whatever comfort he could. His lips reached down to the marks in my neck, kissing them away.

"Sleep.", I whispered to him, placing my lips so delicately upon his.

I saw Edward's crooked grin then and felt as if we were already free. A second or two later, his eyes fluttered and he let out a hard breath, whispering, "Victoria…"

And then he let his head drop weakly, his arms hung limp in their restraints and his feet relaxed, slumped on the concrete floor.

"Edward!", Victoria lifted his chin and his tear stained face was so peaceful, so dormant. He is one great actor. Even Raven walked over to check him, concerned.

"SEE?!", I shouted, "He's just waiting to get you, one way or another! He told me to play along and that he'd let us go once you were taken care of! But I never trusted him!"

"Go ask Jasper if you don't believe me!", I said, "He's still upstairs, waiting for James! My necklace is a bug James gave me! Jasper is listening!"

Victoria snatched the necklace off my neck and looked at it.

Then she looked at James, a deadly stare.

"You fuck!", she raged and hit James across the face with the iron cane.

He went down on the first blow, his real dose of sedatives taking effect along with the crushing strike of the cane.

One down. Two to go.

James laid in a heap on the floor, twitching for a moment before going completely still.

"Watch them!", Victoria pointed at Raven with the cane, "I'll be right back!"

She tore out the dungeon door and walked into the hallway, ordering the two men out there to follow her. She was going after Jasper. The necklace and bug went with her, in her hand, so we were off the record right now.

Edward stayed asleep, playing his part to perfection as Raven shoved me away from him, jealously, tapping his face, trying to awaken him.

"Come on, baby, wake up.", she coaxed, "You have to stand or you could hurt your arms and legs, please…"

"You should lower him down maybe.", I suggested, "Let him lay down until he wakes up."

"Yea.", she looked up at his wrists and winced to herself, going to his lever and slowly cranking his hook down, eventually laying him on the floor on his back. It was beautiful the way he never tensed, his body always limp and still as she lowered him. Even I believed he was unconscious.

Raven went to the corner of the room and came back with water, spilling some onto her own hands, gliding the cool water onto Edward's forehead and cheeks, trying to bring him around.

I smiled down at her and after a moment or two, I said, "You really seem to care for him, more than she does."

"I do!", she glanced up at me, cradling Edward's head in her lap, "He loves me, too. But Victoria will never give him to me. We want to be together."

"You should have him, then.", I said softly, "Why wait for her to sell him to you? Just take him. Victoria's going to jail, if she lives through this night. Edward will go to jail, too. She'll no doubt blame him for everything she's done. She has his blood somewhere. She can frame him and he could go to prison for life! Then you'll never get him."

Raven was looking down at his beautiful face, stroking it, thinking about it. Then she jerked her head up at me.

"Why should I believe you?", she squinted at me, "You're the one who saved him from my place! You care about him, too. Why would you tell me to take him now?"

"I care about him, like you said.", I breathed, "I'd rather see him with you than rot away in jail – or dead. Victoria might kill him before he's even arrested. She could shoot him and James and blame the whole thing on the two of them, saying she was an innocent victim caught in the middle."

"You're pretty cool.", Raven smiled at me, "Smart. Maybe I'll take you with us, too. I see my Edward likes you. I want a happy pet, not a sad one, like he is now. That's the way to keep a pet, to make him happy. Then you never have to go through all this kind of drams. If I take him, would you come too? Would you be my pet, too?"

I didn't see that coming. But it works.

I smiled, surprised, "Really?"

"Yes.", she smiled affectionately. I thought I'd see Edward tense up but he never did.

"I would like being with Edward, even as a fellow submissive. And you do seem like a kind mistress.", I thought aloud, "A whole lot nicer than James."

"We'll go to the other side of the world, to be safe.", Raven added, "I have my own place in Puerto Rico. No one would find us there. You'd get to play on the beach everyday, swim, it's so beautiful there. I wouldn't be cruel to either of you."

"Yes.", I answered firmly.

"How are we going to get Edward out of here?", Raven asked as she lowered the lever that held me up on my tiptoes. In seconds, I was standing on my feet again and she came over to unlock my cuffs.

Edward rose up behind Raven then and, using his own chain between his cuffs, he had Raven by the neck. She gasped and tried to reach around behind herself to Edward but he had her.

Tightening the chain slightly, he sneered, "STOP! HOLD STILL!"

"Take off the dress, now!", Edward ordered and I took a step towards him, seeing his eyes take on a wicked little glint.

"Edward.", I said.

He looked up at me and said, "You need something to wear, Bella."

Oh. Right. I crossed my arms over my breasts and Edward looked down at Raven who was fumbling, trying to breathe and get her dress off at the same time.

Finally, it slipped off her waist and to the floor.

"Kick it towards Bella.", he ordered with less venom now and Raven moved the dress away from herself and at me. I could bend down and pick it up without worrying about her kicking me in the face.

"Shoes, too.", he added to Raven, but her shoes were very high heeled stilettos.

"I have shoes.", I hurried myself into the dress and slipped my feet into my comfortable one inch heels.

Raven had a bra and panties on, both purple with black trim. Edward took her over to the cage dangling from the ceiling and opened the door, pushing her inside it and closing it, locking the padlock to seal her inside.

"Here's a chair.", I found one in the corner and moved it into the center of the room, "Sit James over here."

Edward had pulled himself away from glaring at Raven now and was yanking James up off the floor, carrying him to the chair and plopping him onto it, a nasty gash across his eye and the bone of his nose, blood on his face.

Edward quickly took off his own cuffs and placed them on James' wrists, pinning them behind him, lacing them through the chair.

"The plan is to wait here now.", I said to Edward, putting another chair next to James', "Jasper and Charlie went to help Emmett and they'll all bring Victoria down here."

"Edward, don't listen to her.", Raven was holding the bars of the cage, tears in her eyes as she watched us, "Victoria's gonna kill you both for this!! Please, just come with me! I can save you, Edward! I'll take good care of you, I swear!"

"Shut up, Raven.", Edward said through gritted teeth, ignoring her as he put his small leather thong back on, "Shut up. I'd rather die than go with you."

She looked truly hurt now and I almost felt sorry for her. But I made myself block that out.

"Bella.", Edward closed the distance between us and held me tight, his arms shivering again, "Are you alright?"

"Yea.", I felt tears in my eyes again, pushing them away, "My ass hurts a little, but other than that, I'm fine."

I put my arms around his back, loving the smooth, warm feel of him.

"Are YOU alright?", I asked, "They hurt you more than me."

"It's nothing.", he shrugged it off, holding my face and kissing my lips tenderly, "I'm fine. I should get real clothes before your father comes in here. I can just run to my room for a sec."

"NO!", I grabbed his arms, "Don't! They could get you! Stay here!"

"Alright, alright.", he held me tighter to him as Raven glared at us from her cell.

"Oh, here!", I broke away from him and went to where James had taken off his shirt, handing it to him, "Wear this."

"Okay.", he quickly tore his arms into the sleeves, starting to button it, "Thanks."

"Did I really drink something bad?", he asked, looking down at me, concerned.

"I don't think so.", I looked at the dungeon door, making sure no one was coming in, "I think Jasper said he wouldn't spike Victoria's stuff because she tends to feed you from her plate, but Emmett made a weird face when she fed you her drink before, so I'm not sure now."

"If I start to conk out, don't try to drag me along.", he held my arms, looking at me sternly, "Just get yourself out of here. I still can't believe you're here now! Who's plan was THIS?!"

Now he sounded angry. And I guess I would be, too, if I were him.

"All of ours.", I answered, wishing he'd lose his tense tone with me, "The plan is to bring Victoria back in here, and get them to confess what they did. Give other names of victims. Tell where the remains are. That will be enough to get them behind bars."

"And you spiked their food!", he smiled a little, "That was a stroke of genius!"

I peeked over at Raven and she was asleep now in the cage. I grinned. It's about time hers took effect. Maybe she only drank a little, she didn't eat much, either.

"That was Jasper's idea.", I grinned, "He seems to somehow know all about sedatives."

I went to the dungeon door, peeking out the crack. The door had been left open but I closed it nearly all the way, just in case someone on the other side came across this room.

"Oh, Raven's out.", Edward noticed as he followed me with his eyes.

"Good.", I huffed, "She was getting on my nerves."

"She made that beach and ocean sound good, didn't she?", he teased, shaking his head, "She's a real manipulator. She could get Jesus himself to sell his soul to the devil."

"I don't see anyone out here yet.", I worried aloud, "It's been awhile. Where are they?"

"I hope they're alright.", Edward worried with me, going over to the walls of the dungeon, taking things that might make good weapons for us, just in case.

That was brilliant on his part, I thought with a sly smile.

"Me too.", I said, "My poor father…he's never going to be the same after hearing all that. I'm sure if he was fighting during that scene, it was just making him more and more dangerous to his opponent."

"He's never going to forgive me.", Edward handed me a large whip with jagged, sharp metallic links of chain hanging from it, "Not that he should. It's all my fault that even had to happen to you."

He frowned at himself and I turned to him, frowning too.

"Hey.", I said in a harsh voice, "Stop that self loathing shit. I'm not Dr. Bella at the moment. We'll handle your therapy later, deal?"

His smile nearly peeked out then.

"Deal.", he agreed.

We waited for another ten minutes and nothing. I was trembling and nearly crying when I had to admit the truth.

"Something's wrong.", I looked at Edward, "They should've been here by now. We need to find them. And Rosalie and Alice, too."

"They're here TOO?!", Edward frowned again, hurting my stomach, "JESUS, BELLA!! Did you need to risk everyone's life in this?! I'm amazed my parents aren't here, too!"

I looked down, not enjoying him yelling at me.

"ARE THEY?!", he asked.

"NO!", I turned to him, crying now, "Don't YELL at ME!!"

He sighed. "I'm sorry, Bella, I'm sorry.", he held me, kissing my forehead, "I'm sorry. What should we do?"

"We can't use James as a hostage if Victoria has them.", I thought aloud, "She thinks he's her enemy now. She won't care if we hurt him. Raven means nothing to her, either."

"She wants me.", Edward said, "You can use me as a hostage if you want."

"No way.", I cringed, just thinking about it, "Risking you is not part of the plan."

"Well, can you think up something better?", he asked.

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See next part soon!!

Love, WinndSinger


	33. Judge, Jury, and Executioner

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Notes: Hey everyone!! Click on this link above to get info on how to see Rob Pattinson's movie How to Be, that he filmed before Twilight. If you check out the trailer on you tube – go under How to Be trailer, it looks very funny!! I read a book about Rob and this movie is supposed to be really good, they say he does some great work in it. This movie is supposedly what made Catherine Hardwicke consider Rob for Twilight. Check it out.

April 29th it's supposed to be available on cable on demand. It's not in theatres, it's been going around, being shown in film festivals, but in April, it's gonna be available on TV. I guess because Rob's very famous now, since Twilight. But I laugh everytime I see the trailer. He is so cute when he's playing a nerdy type. So adorable.

There's also a soundtrack on this coming out April 29th, that it says you can get from itunes, Rob has three songs on it. I wonder if he sang like he did in Twilight or if his voice sounds a little more…normal. LOL…sorry! I love weirdness, too, so, either way I'm sure I'll love it.

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EPOV

"You should cuff me and take me out there in case she has your father or something.", I repeated but she spun to me, her eyes angry and wild.

"NO!", she shouted, "NO! I won't do that, Edward! I never want you in cuffs again, even as a trick against Victoria. I'll throw up if she gets her hands on you again."

Same old stubborn little Bella. God, how I love her.

"God damn it, I missed you Bella.", I smiled at her as she grinned back and then peeked out the crack of the dungeon door again, "I told Charlie to take you to Forks. I thought I wouldn't see you again. When I was kneeling next to Victoria's chair, I was nearly in a little coma…I thought my life was over. I had nothing left. Then I smelled you. For a minute, I thought it was my mind playing with me…and then I heard your name. Then I remembered how stubborn you are…and I thought, God, I'm stupid. Charlie would never get her to go to Forks. Not while I'm still here."

"Is this a therapy session?", she turned to me, wanting to hear more but reminding me we didn't have time for this right now. Lives of people we loved were out there, in jeopardy, or worse. We had to go out there and face it…now.

When did I become this chatterbox? I used to never talk about me…and now I couldn't shut myself up.

"No, this is me ranting because I haven't had anyone to talk to for three days.", I sighed, "Well…if you won't use me as your hostage, what's the plan, then?"

"I don't have a plan.", Bella took a breath, "Sometimes there is no elaborate plan when things go wrong. We just have to be brave and go out there and see what's happening. And do what we can to help."

Bella still held the brutal whip I had given her.

"Well, this is a good weapon I gave you.", I informed, "It literally can shred flesh with each blow, even a light one. I've got the chain whip, which is dangerous but not as bloody as yours will be."

"Well, we're okay if they don't have guns.", she scoffed, "And they probably do."

"I don't think she'll shoot.", I offered, "The club is open and full of customers. But then again, she is a psycho."

"Helpful, Edward.", she smirked at me.

"Sorry.", I frowned at the floor.

But she took my hand and squeezed it, making my eyes raise up to meet hers. They were two beautiful orbs filled with fear and excitement…and even love…for me. How does she combine all those together in one stare?

"Stop saying sorry.", she whispered, "Just be with me. Be with me now. Be with me when I'm 70…"

"I'll be with you forever, Bella.", I whispered back, meaning it with my whole heart.

"Okay.", she took a brave breath, "Time to face our first obstacle…the psycho bitch."

"We can do it.", I stated confidently, kissing her knuckles softly, a little kiss for luck. We would need it. We both knew that anything could happen once we left this room. Lives could end, blood could be shed, relationships could be forever changed. But for now, in this moment, we loved each other completely, and were willing to face Hell itself to be together. We were ready to go to battle for this love. So many times I'd see movies where the couple had to fight for their future together. I used to be so jealous of them. I never got a chance to fight to save Tanya. I was too late.

But I have the chance now to fight for Bella and me…and Katie. I would not let them down. I'd give everything I have for them. Even if I lose, I'll go down swinging.

"Ready?", she steeled herself as she looked at me.

"Ready.", I gave a single nod, feeling like a knight about to go meet a dragon.

Bella began to pull open the dungeon door and then I caught myself.

"Hey!", I pulled her back as I moved to the door, "I'm the man, I should be in front. You stand behind me."

"Don't make me yell at you now, Edward.", she gave me a nudge with her arm, "This isn't the fifties. We walk side by side. Partners."

I felt my smile grow across my face. "Yes, Bella."

She growled, hating my slave response. It wasn't really that. I could hear myself saying 'yes, Bella' to her for the next hundred years. This time, I'd be the most whipped husband on earth…and the most happy one.

We crept out, holding onto each other's arms as we began our silent, dark walk into the jet black hallway. Someone turned off the lights above us…and you could hear a pin drop.

I suddenly felt like I was in some horror movie, and that the zombies were about to come tearing out at us at any moment. Suddenly, my chain whip didn't seem like that much of a threat anymore.

"Rosalie has your gun, loaded." Bella whispered in the dark, "Wish I had it now."

"You don't want to shoot anyone, Bella.", I whispered back.

"I'm not so sure anymore.", she said as we neared the stairs going up.

"Killer Swan.", I tried to lighten the fear a little, but she didn't laugh.

'I see a little light ahead.", she said, almost inaudibly. I hardly made it out.

We were in the next hallway, on the way to the door to the dining room we'd been in a little while before. It wasn't totally dark now, the light from the dining room was leaking into the hall we were in.

It was so eerily quiet. I hated it. Get a grip, Edward, get tough. If you want to live through this, find brave real fast. Now.

"No one's in there?", Bella whispered extremely softly as I looked through the cracked open door to the dining room. I saw the table, the dishes, the food, drinks…but not one single person. Hell, it didn't even look like any fight happened here. Everything was just as we left it.

"I don't think so.", I said, checking behind us, slightly paranoid.

Of course, Victoria could be waiting right against the wall beside the door, waiting for us with a gun in her hand. But I didn't tell Bella that. I'm sure she knows the danger, too.

I shoved the door open hard, slamming it into the wall behind us as Bella gave a little yelp of surprise. I had my whip up behind me, ready to strike if I needed to. I saw no one. I'm sure Jasper wasn't waiting around in the kitchen, mixing drinks after we were taken away. Victoria had forgotten about him in the struggle.

I could hear the music now, coming from the nearby club. There was no soundproofed walls here. I let a cleansing breath out of my lungs, relieved for now, but knowing, also, that they were around here somewhere, hiding…waiting.

Maybe they lost Victoria and her men in the crowds of the club. Maybe they're hiding out in a private room. There were dozens of them. It would be a great place to lay low for a while.

Then, just as I opened the door that left the dining room, into the hallway going towards the club, we heard it.

Louder than Hell, it was the fire alarm, blaring and piercing into the air.

Bella winced, holding her hands over her ears as I heard women screaming, thundering footsteps running for their lives.

Then, like an angry demon shouting from the sky, Victoria's voice on the microphone.

"OUT, EVERYBODY, OUT!!", she screamed, "FIRE!! FIRE IN THE KITCHEN!! OUT!!"

"Shit.", I groaned, peeking out the next door that looked out into the club.

Women were running out the doors, panicked. I never saw the place clear out so fast. Even the dancers were leaving.

"Pretty smart, Vic.", I sneered to myself, under my breath, "She just cleared the place out. Now the only people in here are her…and all of us. No witnesses."

A few people were coming out of the private rooms now, half dressed, and I almost laughed out loud, picturing myself doing just that if I were working in there tonight.

Part of me wanted to run out with the crowd, taking Bella out of here. But she'd never leave, abandoning her father, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett…Jasper. She was too damn brave for her own good. I wished her father was a librarian instead of a cop. He raised her to be strong and aware. She couldn't run…even if she wanted to.

Victoria is out there, if she was speaking on the mike. I closed the door, locking it, sealing us in here.

"What are you doing?", Bella asked me, her brows creased.

"Thinking.", I admitted honestly, then an idea hit me.

"The kitchen!", I pulled her with me back into the dining room, going to the kitchen door, "There's knives in there…butcher knives! Cleavers!"

"Cool!", Bella followed quickly as we reached the kitchen door.

I held her back a second and pushed my hand against the swing open door that had no window in it, unfortunately. Someone could be hiding in here, too.

Slowly, the door crept open and as my eyes focused on the floor, I saw bodies and blood.

I yanked back and the door closed in front of us.

"What? What?!", Bella hissed, starting to panic at my stiff expression.

"There are bodies in there.", I tensed, glancing at her frightful eyes and added, "It's okay. It's Victoria's guys. Two of them, the ones who went after Jasper."

"God.", Bella breathed, "I didn't know Jasper was that dangerous."

"Yea.", I agreed, just as surprised, now that I thought about it.

"I'm okay.", Bella took another breath, shoving my arm towards the door, "Go ahead."

She's okay. What makes her think I'm okay with it? I've seen enough dead, bloody bodies for one lifetime. I wasn't excited to see more. But we had to go in there.

"Okay.", I clenched my jaw, squinting as I pushed the door open firmly, swallowing as my eyes got a better look this time.

The first man laying there was on his back, wearing a black suit, white shirt that was now mostly red. His eyes were wide open and surprised, his skin tan. He looked Spanish, with long black hair and a goatee. Two sharp knives stood up in his chest, close to each other, near the heart area. The entire blade was embedded inside…only the shiny black handles could be seen.

I hope there are more knives somewhere else. I'm not pulling those out.

Bella was less affected than I was, obviously, because she said, "Gun!"

She pointed to the second man, a few feet away, an older man with a gray crew cut and large arms. His face was burned. Jasper probably threw something boiling and hot into his face in the fight. He had a ghastly slice across his neck and a knife in his chest.

"Damn! I wanna be partners with Jasper.", Bella breathed, I think she was kidding. But as my irate stare turned and touched her, she blushed a little.

"Sorry.", she clung tighter to my arm as we hovered in the doorway.

"Sorry you're stuck with me.", I huffed and she sighed.

"I didn't mean that.", she said, sounding regretful.

"Stop.", I said, not angry, "I want Jasper, too."

She shoved me a little, coaxing me to start going into the kitchen.

"Let's go.", she suggested, "Get the gun."

There was blood all over the floor and I had no shoes on. Shit! Come on, man, be like Jasper, I told myself. Make Bella glad she's your partner.

I forced my foot inside and on the floor, right into a warm, wetness beside the first man in front of us.

UCCKKK!!!

I kept my disgust inside as I took another step, moving around the corpse as much as I could, Bella following me, wearing her shoes…lucky.

We neared the man with the gun in his hand. I know nothing about guns, all I could see was that it was silver and very modern looking, not some old fashioned six shooting revolver. This thing looked wicked.

"Look out!", Bella warned as I began to reach for it, "That's a 9 millimeter. Automatic."

"You take it, partner.", I put my hand up, "This is your department."

I had no problem letting her take over in this. The only guns I had seen were the ones those loan sharks had beat me with…and that was in the dark alley. I didn't even know how to load these, let alone shoot them. I had been a pet, not a hired thug. I'm sure that was another reason I never saw her guards or got to hang around or talk to them. She didn't want me knowing weapons. Then I could rise up someday and use one against her. She sheltered me, making me almost useless in a fight like this.

She handed me her whip and bent down to take the gun out of the dead man's hand. This wasn't pleasant for her and she shivered as the fingers wouldn't let go of the gun. I leaned down and used the whip handle to force his fingers apart and the gun was free for her to take.

"Thanks.", she looked at me, slightly embarrassed.

"I have to be good for something, right?", I tried to grin, but I'm sure I didn't.

She handled the gun like an expert, moving the sliding part to the rear of the gun, and I saw a silver bullet sitting there.

"It's loaded.", she held the gun away from us, to the floor and pushed that part back into place with a metallic click. Then she did something that made a long silver piece drop out of the handle.

"What's that?", I glanced behind me, the door was still and no one was coming yet.

"The magazine.", she instructed, "This holds all the bullets. You know what a bullet is, right?"

She tried to snicker at me but I know I frowned back at her.

'Have I told you yet how much fun it is, being your partner, Bella?", I retorted.

"I'm kidding, Jeez!", she turned the silver thing to show me the bullets sitting inside it, stacked up one on top of the other, "See, there's like ten rounds in here. This one holds 15. He's fired five shots."

I was glad to be a student now and not the Barney Fife she had made me out to be a moment ago. I had to admit I was jealous of what she knew that I didn't. How her father shared things with her when mine didn't. I can't think of one damn thing Carlisle ever took a moment to teach me. But then, I thought of Joseph and felt better right away.

If playing piano or fixing a car would save us somehow, I'd be the star of this climax.

Bella looked around as she clicked the silver magazine back into the handle of the gun.

"One…two…", she pointed at black holes in wall and ceiling…bullet holes.

"Three!", I pointed near the stove, finding one, proud of myself for helping finally.

Did I mention I was still toe deep in blood at the moment?

"Four…", Bella pointed at the door leaving the kitchen going out to the bar inside the club area.

We looked around for bullet five but never saw it. I got the awful feeling in my stomach that someone had gotten hurt. Maybe bullet five was inside one of our friends…

Bella looked at me and had a shiny mist in her eyes that said the same thing I was thinking.

I wished myself braver, tougher. I prayed for all of us as I put the chain whip down, keeping the shredder whip in my right hand as Bella grabbed for my left and we stepped over the body, moving towards the door ahead of us.

The club music was silent and there were no more sounds of running or voices screaming. The place was empty and I was about to suggest looking in the private rooms when Victoria's voice rose up on the microphone.

"Edward Cullen.", she seethed and we froze in our tracks.

"Come out right now or I swear to God, I'll have your daughter's head in two hours.", she was lethal in her tone.

Something in me almost moved me right through the door but Bella flung her arm around me, stopping me as I began to sweat and tremble. Victoria knew my number and I hated that.

"Edward….", she called like I was a child, "I'm not kidding and you know that. Call out if you can't come to me. Now."

"Edward.", Bella pushed me to the wall and covered my mouth with her hand. I wasn't going to call out, even though I wanted to spare my daughter, but I couldn't risk Bella, either. But Bella knows how I love Katie and she didn't want me to do something I'd regret. I couldn't be angry at her for that. Besides all that, Bella's hand over my mouth turned me on. God, I need therapy.

"He can't call our or come!!", Bella shouted, "He's dead!! Your fuck brother SHOT him in the head!!"

I looked at her, and she pushed me aside, pointing to an empty cabinet. I stopped and shook my head at her, not wanting to hide in there while every one else was risking their lives for me.

"Partners, you said.", I whispered.

Was I not a good partner? Maybe I was a weak link. I felt so useless at that moment.

Bella gritted her teeth and looked at the door. Her back was to the wall behind it, waiting for Victoria to enter now that Bella had marked our location by shouting.

It wasn't a bad idea, making her think I was dead. Even if she got away, she'd never try to find me again, or my family. I could move them all somewhere else.

But I didn't want Bella alone, risking her life while I hid in a pantry. If she got hurt, I could never forgive myself…or have a real life afterwards. It had to have her in it, my ending to this whole saga. Without her, my freedom was meaningless.

"You LIE!!", Victoria screeched, sounding very upset and I heard heavy breathing from her as processed that information.

"EDWARRRDDDD!!!!", she roared as I cringed, the sharpness slicing into my eardrums, "COME OUT, NOW!! THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE!! DEAD OR NOT, I'LL HAVE YOUR BRAT!! I'LL KEEP HER AS MY PET IN YOUR PLACE UNTIL THE DAY SHE DIES!!! I'll teach her how to suck cock, just like I taught YOU!!"

I grabbed a knife handle out of a wooden block beside me and it whooshed through the air as I gladly welcomed the sight of its long, razor sharp blade.

Before I knew what I was doing, I was nearly at the door, shoving it, when Bella pushed me down and flew out the door, her gun in hand as the door swung closed and open while I laid there, watching her statuesque stance as she pointed the gun towards the stage.

"I TOLDYOU, he's dead !!", Bella sounded so real when she said that, like she was almost crying. Maybe she can act, after all.

I had to help her somehow. I took my giant knife and went the other way, my red feet dodging the bodies again, going into the empty dining room so I could come around and see Victoria from the other side. Maybe I could make her turn towards me so Bella could get her.

"I don't see any blood on you.", Victoria was saying to Bella as I entered the dining room.

I wish we weren't the good guys. I wish Bella would just shoot her in the leg or something.

But then I thought, maybe Victoria has a gun, too. Holding it on Bella, waiting for the first opportunity to strike. Victoria knows guns, too. I didn't like this. I had to get in this.

I couldn't hear what Bella was saying as I opened the door into that hallway that lead into the club.

But I had bigger problems now. Sir Kevin was behind the door, staring back at me, sternly.

"No.", I jerked back as he stood his ground. I didn't know what it was about this guy, but he was like my kryptonite. I felt weak the moment I saw his face. I felt nauseous.

I had almost forgotten my knife and then I held it up, warning him not to come near me.

"Sorry I was late.", he kept his firm stare on me, "I missed all the fun."

"Stay away from me.", I growled, ghastly memories ripping through my mind.

He took a step towards me, clearly unafraid as I took a step back, swallowing as my stomach began to boil acidly.

"Edward…", he was in his dominant mode now, it seemed, "Put that down and come with me. We both know you're as gentle as a lamb. This isn't you. Come on, you're just going to hurt yourself. Come now and there will be no punishment, I promise."

He extended a hand at me and I swiped the air with my blade, not making contact with him.

"I said leave me alone!", I shouted, getting more and more pissed off. He kept coming towards me.

"Angel…", he softened his voice a bit, "You're going to be mine now. Let's not begin this way. Be nice and come with me."

"Stay away from me!", I gritted through my teeth, again, near the table. I improvised and threw a couple of plates at him. This only pissed him off.

"So be it.", he frowned and lunged at me. In seconds, my back was on the floor and he was on me, grabbing the wrist of the hand that held the knife.

I struggled with all I had, and we were wrestling. He had both his hands around my wrist and I was trying to free my hand to stab him. I'd go for his face….it was right above mine. I could even smell his fucking peppermint breath.

"Come on, baby…", Sir Kevin gritted his perfect white teeth, almost having full control of my arm, "Drop it. I don't want to hurt you, but I will."

"FUCK YOU!!", I screamed, trying to fight back harder. I spit up into his face and he clenched his eyes and his grip on my wrist weakened. I was about to lurch the knife at him.

Then something cool and hard pressed into my right eye as I froze. It was Victoria…standing over me and holding the barrel of her gun against my eye.

"Oh, look, Edward lives! You look pretty good for a dead man..", Victoria's voice was low and deep.

Fuck!

"STOP!", I heard Bella's voice now, coming out of the kitchen where I had just come from.

"Bella…", Victoria sounded triumphant, "My gun is in Edward's eye. I dare you to shoot."

"You won't hurt him.", Bella's voice was shaky as Sir Kevin yanked the knife out of my hand, standing up and running a hand back through his hair and wiping at his face as he looked down at me, disappointed and disgusted.

"I won't kill him, but I will hurt him.", Victoria stated, "I can shoot him through the cheeks."

She moved the barrel of her gun to my cheekbone as Sir Kevin held my chest down with his boot.

"He won't be perfect anymore but he'd still be mine.", Victoria thought aloud, "Maybe that is better. No girls would look at him twice ever again."

Bella just let out a helpless breath and I almost cried out, hating that I was putting her in this danger. She could shoot and get out of here if it weren't for me.

"Maybe I could shoot his hands.", Victoria shoved the gun over my right palm now, "No more piano…no silly little dreams of being a doctor someday…"

"Or maybe I'll just shoot him in the cock.", Victoria stuck the gun between my legs and I growled, "It would be a tragedy. Then he won't have any reason to keep going. And you won't have any reason to want him anymore."

"Victoria…", I began but then she shoved the barrel into my mouth, suddenly enraged.

"SHUT UP!!", she howled, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!! I SAVED YOUR LIFE!! I TOOK YOU IN!! I TAUGHT YOU EVERYTHING!! I TAUGHT YOU TO SURVIVE IN THIS FUCKED UP WORLD!! I MADE IT SO YOUR PRECIOUS FREAK DAUGHTER COULD LOOK LIKE A HUMAN BEING AGAIN!! I TOOK CARE OF YOU!! I MADE YOU BEAUTIFUL!! I GAVE YOU A PLACE TO LIVE!! I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING!! EVERYTHING!! I LOVED YOU! And you never loved me back!! You lied! WHY?!! WHY?!! NAME ME ONE THING I DIDN'T GIVE YOU, EDWARD!! ONE THING!!"

She yanked the gun out of my mouth and took a step back, trying to compose herself as the gun rested against my forehead now.

I couldn't find it in me to be afraid of her anymore. Now, she just looked sick and broken…and pathetic.

"I just want to go home.", I said, staring right back up at her, as honest as I could be.

I heard Bella give a frightened little breath after I said that. Maybe she thought Victoria would kill me now. I even thought it for a moment, too.

"You are home, Edward.", she said, letting a tear fall down her cheek, looking at Sir Kevin, saying to him, "He's yours."

"The FUCK HE IS!!", Bella sneered, "Who are YOU, anyway?!!"

She was talking to Sir Kevin. Oh no, don't tell her.

"I'm Edward's master, that's who I am, little girl.", he answered, grabbing my hair and yanking me to my feet, Victoria's gun pressed against my cheek, holding Bella off.

I was shoved into the wall, face first, my hands brought up tight behind me.

"Alright, fine," I didn't struggle, "Then let Bella go. You have no reason to hurt her now."

"Oh, wrong.", she scoffed, "James – or you – told this little bitch everything about me. We have business to take care of before you pack."

"No, don't!", I struggled a little as Sir Kevin's hands pushed me harder into the wall, one of his hands playing with the back of my hair.

"Relax, angel." Sir Kevin pulled me by the arm now, "Your part in this is mostly over."

I looked at Bella and Sir Kevin had the knife again that he took away from me. He wasn't threatening me with it, though, yet.

"Drop the gun.", Victoria ordered Bella, cocking her trigger as she held her gun to my temple.

I looked at the floor, hating myself. I lost the fight for her. I am useless. No, don't give up. There still might be a chance to save ourselves. And for the first time in my life, because of Bella…I had hope. Even when there was no reason to hope.

After a tense moment, Bella sighed and tossed her gun to the floor.

"Kick it over here.", Victoria demanded next…and Bella obeyed.

"See, she can be obedient.", Sir Kevin smiled, "You just need the right tool."

"Take him onto the stage." Victoria said to Kevin as he gently moved me by the arm out into the hallway and into the club, towards the empty stage.

I glanced behind me and Bella was following us, Victoria trailing behind her with the gun pointed at her back.

"Listen…", I tried to say to Victoria as I stood on the stage, "Bella doesn't really know anything about Jason White…she has no proof or anything…that's the whole reason for tonight. And I blew the plan. She can't prove anything, Victoria. Just let her go."

A couple of chairs were being brought onto the stage by Sir Kevin and he slammed me down by the shoulder into one of them.

"Have a seat, Bella.", Victoria didn't touch her but Bella sat down anyway.

Bella glanced at me, trying to formulate a new plan, just as I was trying to do the same. Victoria intended to kill Bella. She'd have to kill me first.

I thought to myself. Jasper is here. Emmett is here. Charlie is here. Alice and Rosalie, too, but I hoped they would say hidden. I don't think Victoria knows they're here. And she doesn't know about Charlie, either.

Victoria took the microphone off its stand and spoke into it.

"Any luck yet anyone?", she asked calmly.

"Not yet.", a man's voice shouted from the area of the private rooms. Doors were slamming and it sounded like a couple of her guys were hunting.

I looked around, wondering where else they could be hiding. Victoria turned to Sir Kevin and were talking quietly as I peeked up at the glass window of Victoria's office. It was dark inside but I could see a blue shine from where the computer was on her desk. Rosalie and Alice are probably in there, maybe under Victoria's desk or something.

I looked away, not wanting to alert her to this.

"Check the dungeon, too.", Victoria said into the mike, "Leave my brother and Raven where they are. I'll deal with them later."

Victoria went to the bar with Sir Kevin and she was pouring him a drink while they waited to have Emmett and Jasper brought out.

"I fucked up, Bella.", I breathed, "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault.", she answered in a whisper, "I should've shot her when I had the chance. I just…couldn't. It's my fault."

Bella is a human being and she's apologizing for it. How did she get mixed up in this sick place?

"I think Alice and Rose are in Vic's office.", I shared, "I can see the computer is on from here."

"I don't know where my Dad could be.", Bella jumped a little as the private room doors kept slamming after being searched, "Maybe Jasper took Emmett out of here."

"They would've been caught if they left.", I thought out loud.

A few minutes later, the two men Victoria had previously ordered to beat Emmett up walked over to the bar and were talking to Kevin and Victoria.

"Who's this new guy?", Bella asked me, hardly turning her head towards me, "Why is he so anxious to own you now?"

I frowned and swallowed the bile that was rising in my chest. I didn't want to tell her. I didn't want to lie to her.

"He likes me.", I shrugged, "I guess."

"Who doesn't?", she eyed the men with Victoria.

"If we survive this, I'll tell Dr. Bella all about it, how's that?", I asked, putting the humiliation off for now.

Bella gave me a strange look and then looked down, muttering, "Alright."

Maybe she figured it out herself. She's a bright girl. And now I feel even more repulsive.

"I don't think they can find 'em.", I squinted at the men, watching the way they looked so nervous and the way Victoria looked so pissed. Sir Kevin couldn't care less. He was smiling and drinking his drink, celebrating. I shivered all over, imagining belonging to Sir Kevin from now on. Suicide was looking better and better to me if we didn't make it out of this.

Then Victoria stood up and came over to us, cocking her gun and taking the microphone from its stand.

Sir Kevin came and was standing behind my chair, a black marble cane in his hand that he held under my chin, securing my head to his chest as Victoria spoke into the mike.

"Alright.", she announced as I looked at Bella, "Emmett…Jasper…I know you're out there somewhere, hiding like rats. I'm going to count to five. If you don't show yourselves and surrender, I am going to shoot one of Bella's toes off."

One of Victoria's smelly men came up behind Bella's chair and held her back by her hair, making her look straight up as the other man grabbed her shoe and pulled it off, placing his gun to Bella's big toe, against the floor.

"NO!", I yelled as Bella tried to fight back in her chair.

Then I looked at Victoria and felt Sir Kevin's cane tighten against my Adam's apple, blocking a little air.

"One…", she began, "Two…Three…"

Suddenly, a huge crash rang out from overhead and shards of glass came raining down like angry teeth…Victoria's antique wooden desk flew through the tinted glass wall of her office and was hurling straight down upon us.

Sir Kevin was gone in a half second and so was his cane around my neck. The man holding Bella ran and so did Victoria. I turned towards Bella and held her, diving off the stage into the audience as the heavy desk crashed down upon the stage hard, breaking and splintering, wood flying up into the air as gunshots showered down right along with the crushed desk.

Shots were fired back up at Victoria's broken glass wall and it was only when I began to stand up again, a couple feet from the desk debris, that I had a good view above me.

I looked up and could see Jasper, Emmett and Charlie near the broken glass, all with guns in hand, shooting. I couldn't see the girls at all and I was glad. They'd better be somewhere safe out of the line of fire.

Sir Kevin stood up to reach out for me, his cane still in hand, when Charlie fired, shattering the marble cane with his bullet!! What an awesome shot!! The cane crumbled like a cookie and Sir Kevin shouted and turned away from us, racing to get behind the bar for cover, along with Victoria.

"Bella, get out of there!!", Charlie screamed like a bear from above, "Take cover!"

Bella crawled and shoved at me until we were under a long table in the audience, a white tablecloth covered it so for a moment we were hidden.

Victoria and Sir Kevin were behind the bar and she was firing up at them from a sideways angle that they didn't expect. I heard Jasper shout, "Watch it!"

And then a few more shots from above came down, sprinkling the bar, hitting a couple of bottles on the counter, glass and booze exploding. Sir Kevin looked like he was just sitting on the floor behind the bar, letting Victoria handle it alone.

I heard a man scream out and then land with a heavy thud on the stage. One of Victoria's guys…down. One left.

"Yea!", I spat out.

A minute later, as the shots rang back and forth like thunder, Victoria's man stepped back, unaware he was only a couple feet away from Bella and I.

"Stay here.", I whispered, glancing at her before I leapt on the guy, hearing Bella scream out as I made quick work of him, grabbing his head and snapping it around with one liquid movement, shoving him face down and taking his gun as Bella ran over to me.

I jerked her behind me and grabbed the nearest table, shoving it over on its side and getting us to the floor behind it, blocking us from the bar now as the shots overhead paused during all this.

"Good MAN, EDWARD!", I heard Charlie shout and then heard Emmett's booming laugh. Suddenly, I was a man. A man worth something. I was one of the good guys, someone Bella could count on and be proud of, like she was proud of Charlie.

"Here!", I grabbed a Jack Daniels bottle from the floor and handed it to her.

"Good idea, time for a drink!", she trembled but grinned at me as I kept an eye on the bar. Victoria was still shooting, but not as wildly as before. She was being careful now and I suspected she was low on bullets. Soon we could all surround the bar and get them…and this would all be over.

"No, this way.", I turned the bottle around so she was holding the end of it, the bottle part up in the air, "Just in case."

"How did you DO that, Edward?", Bella asked, stunned.

"I told you Emmett taught me some things.", I said, watching as more shots were exchanged between Victoria and the three men above.

I went to take a shot at Sir Kevin but the gun clicked, empty. Crap! What are the odds of that guy using the very last bullet just as I jumped him? No fair!

"Sorry, Clint.", Bella smirked as I frowned, sighing, jipped out of the chance to fire my gun.

Then it happened.

A shot rang out, I couldn't tell from who, until I heard a deep voice yell out and a split second later, almost in slow motion, a body was falling from Victoria's office…and landed hard on a table, breaking it, laying in a heap on the floor.

"DADDY!!", Bella tore from me, tossing the bottle aside and racing over to him. She wasn't even paying attention to the gunfire going on as I screamed her name.

Without even thinking about it, I went after her, knowing Victoria was probably drooling at the sight of Bambi right in front of her, unprotected.

"NO, EDWARD!", Jasper yelled as I reached Bella, who was sitting on the floor next to Charlie.

I laid right over her, forcing her down and tucking my head into her hair as shots banged out again. I didn't feel anything much, I was listening to Bella's blood chilling scream underneath me as I shielded her.

"Victoria!!", I heard Sir Kevin bellow, "That's MINE!"

"It's not MY fault he jumped in the way!", she was arguing back.

"Edward!", Bella screamed, pushing me and rolling me over onto my back as she tore my shirt open, "Oh my God!"

"What?", I asked as she clamped her hand over my shoulder, and that's when I felt the blood on my skin, the burn in my flesh, the dizziness in my head.

"EDWARD!!", Bella sobbed, putting pressure on the hole in between my shoulder and chest, "NO! NO!!"

"Enough of this shit!", Victoria was standing over us now, gun pointing at Bella and Charlie, whose eyes were closed as he breathed heavily, "Get DOWN HERE, BOTH OF YOU!! NOW!!"

"Throw your guns down first!!", she screamed, "Good! Now move it!"

I was feeling weaker and weaker as the seconds rolled by and I fought to stay alert. I had to be there for Bella. I couldn't imagine her distress, having both me and Charlie laying on both sides of her, both hurt.

Sir Kevin was behind Victoria, looking angry and grabbed me by the wrists as Bella growled and yanked me back towards her.

"Don't TOUCH him!!", she screamed, defending me once more.

But another brutal yank and I was on the floor, being turned around, Sir Kevin was dragging me by my ankles and my arms felt numb for a minute, laying there above me as he slowly moved me away from Bella and Charlie, making a bloody red line behind me, warm wetness pouring out of me…oozing from my back.

I winced and panted, not wanting to go…I could hear Bella crying as I laid there, a few feet away. I fought to keep my eyes open…the darkness around us was so soothing and all I wanted to do now is sleep.

But I resisted it. If I fell asleep now, I'd wake up in Sir Kevin's cage, days later…and I'd be told that Bella and Charlie were dead. I growled, hardly able to move, letting the anger keep me awake as Sir Kevin yanked a cloth napkin from a table on the right, pouring a bottle from the bar onto it, and kneeling at my side, moving my shirt out of the way as he applied the wet cloth into the bloody hole, cleaning it.

I screamed out loud, against my will, the alcohol like evil flames inside the wound. I felt my back arch up as Bella screamed, hurting as much as I was.

"STOP IT!!", she shrieked at Sir Kevin, "Don't HURT HIM!!"

Sir Kevin held me down securely and ignored Bella. But I heard Victoria.

"Stop defending HIM!", Victoria sneered, "Worry about YOU! He'll live to see tomorrow, you won't!"

"RRRRRRRR!!!!", I struggled furiously, hating it that I couldn't be with Bella to protect her.

Sir Kevin wet the cloth again with the booze and moved it around to my back, cleaning and burning the hole where the bullet had entered me. I howled out again, savage gasps coming out of me as he gripped my hand.

"It's alright, Angel.", he assured, "Hold onto me. You'll be alright. I won't let anything happen to you, I swear."

"Bella!", I groaned out, yanking my hand out of his, "Bella!"

"Forget her.", Sir Kevin said callously, holding another clean napkin over the hole in my chest.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

BPOV

I could hardly form words as I watched this Sir Kevin creep touching my Edward. I held my father's hand, glad to see he was still breathing. I quickly looked him over. He had a bloody leg and I could see a hole above his knee that was gushing.

I slipped his belt off him and used it as a tourniquet, looping it around his leg, above the hole, pulling on it tight as Charlie gave a loud scream but hardly moved at all.

He was laying on the broken pieces of wood that was once a table and I pushed some of the debris away from Charlie, wondering if his back was broken…if his neck was broken…he could be dieing right now. And so could Edward.

Who knows what veins or major arteries that bullet could've hit? He could bleed to death right before our eyes! And I can't even reach him now! I heard him calling my name and wanted to split myself in two. I wanted Edward but I couldn't leave my father.

Emmett and Jasper were coming towards us now, unarmed, and I shivered more. Would she shoot them now? Would they suffer? Would they die?

"I still can't believe it, Emmett!", Victoria scolded her once favorite dancer, looking at him in disgust, "What the hell were you thinking?!"

"Forget him!", Jasper sneered with venom now, "You murdered my brother, you bitch! And I wanna know WHY!!"

"Your brother?", she smirked, "Who?"

"Jason White!", he shook with uncontrollable rage, "Charlie told me the whole story!! You chopped him into little pieces!! You ATE parts of him! I knew it. I just didn't have proof…until now."

"Your brother, it figures.", she squinted, keeping her gun pointed at me, "A stupid little boy thinking he could be a sub! He couldn't even get hard! He was useless! But he served a purpose when I used him to put Edward in place. I guess everyone is good for something!"

Jasper clenched his fists and wanted to attack but he held himself back, seeing that I was being threatened now.

"And what proof do you have?", Victoria huffed, "You have nothing!"

"Wrong.", Jasper grinned, "I have a cloth full of blood that at this moment is in the hands of the NYPD. I told them the whole story, gave them my journals of everything I've seen and heard since I started working here. They're no doubt on their way here right now, especially after all the gunfire."

"Bullshit.", Victoria frowned, "Cloth of blood…there is no blood….Edward cleaned it all—"

She flew over to where he was laying, with Sir Kevin still tending his wound and shouted, "Stand him up!"

"No, Victoria…he's bleed—", Sir Kevin began to say and then she pointed her gun at HIS face.

"STAND HIM UP!", she screamed…and Sir Kevin carefully brought him to his bare feet, letting him lay back against his chest and the bar at the same time.

"He's drifting in and out of consciousness, Vic!", Sir Kevin argued, angry with her for causing his new pet any discomfort.

Edward's head was falling back limply as Victoria picked up a drink that was half full, from a customer before the fire drill, and she threw the contents of the glass into Edward's face.

He coughed and his eyes opened. His hands tried to grab the bar counter for support at his sides as Victoria grabbed his chin in her hand, making him look her in the eye.

"You fucked me!!", she accused, "YOU! Not James!! Say it! Say it, you fucking WHORE!"

"I fucked you, Victoria.", he said, his eyes exhausted but glaring at her anyway, "For once, I fucked you! And I'm glad! I don't love you. I never have. You stole my life! You kept me away from my daughter! How could I ever love you?"

"Enough, Edward.", Sir Kevin tried to stop him before Victoria hurt his slave anymore, "Come on, I'm taking you home."

At that, Sir Kevin began to pick Edward up but Victoria wasn't through with him yet.

My father's finger poked my hand twice and I darted my eyes to him. He looked back at me, smirking and very slowly and quietly, he cocked his pistol.

I gave him a slight nod, moving back an inch to get out of his way. Emmett and Jasper saw this, too, and didn't make a move.

At this, Victoria yanked up a heavy looking bottle and smashed it over Sir Kevin's face, sending him down, knocked out as Edward almost fell over, too.

But Victoria grabbed at his shirt and held him up against the bar.

"You can't think I'd ever let anyone else take you away from me, Edward.", she spoke softly now, sniffing, almost crying as she laid him back against the bar counter and began kissing his face, touching his lips with her gun.

Edward let out a ragged breath, trying to turn his face away from her as she kept forcing her attentions on him.

"I loved you!! I still do…", she said, sounding bitter, rubbing the barrel of her gun into his chest wound as he groaned out loudly, trying to force her off him with his one good arm.

Off in the distance, police sirens were approaching. Lots of them. They kept getting louder…closer.

"I'm not going to prison again.", she looked into Edward's eyes, wildly, cocking her gun, tracing the hot, bloody barrel along his bottom lip as he cringed slightly.

"I'll die first.", she kissed Edward's mouth as he muffled back a yelp of protest.

"I always knew if it came to this…I'd kill myself before they could get me.", she breathed over his face, "I want you to come with me, my love…my sweet little pet. I know you didn't mean what you just said. You were just confused. They turned you against me. But I know…you still love me, Edward. I'll bring you with me. You're still mine. This way, we can be together forever…where no one can get us."

Edward's eyes went wide as she smiled down upon him, "It won't hurt, sweet heart. I promise. First you…then I'll follow."

She moved the gun, almost stroking his face with it, and she brought it to his forehead, right between his eyebrows.

"Wait.", Edward looked at us slyly, his hand moving the gun away from his face, "Kiss me first, one last time, before we go..."

He kissed her with an open mouth and that's when Charlie took his shot, being the honorable cop he was, he shot her in the leg, below the knee, sending her onto her ass as she screamed.

Edward jerked away from her, holding the bar for support as I ran up to her, my father's handcuffs in hand, ready to go.

I yanked her gun out of her hand and slapped her across the face with it. Then I cuffed her wrist to the bottom golden bar where people would rest their feet while they drank here. I wanted to hurt her some more. She shot Edward, she shot my father!

Before I knew it, I was kicking her in the stomach over and over again. Edward was laying his face on the bar, his one good hand holding the wound in his shaking, bloody palm.

"HEY, BELLA!!", Emmett grabbed me from behind, "Stop! Stop! Come on, let's take care of Edward and Charlie. Come on."

Now the sirens were close and Jasper was standing next to the bar, scowling at the woman he'd been after for the last couple years. The woman who murdered his brother, with excruciating pain and terror.

"If I go down, Edward, you'll go with me!!", Victoria threatened, "I swear you will!! And your daughter, GONE!! Every day, you'll have to wonder if she's ever coming back!! I can still have her raped and killed, even from jail! You'll see!! And then, when you're alone and have NOTHING…I'll be back for you. You'll always be mine, EDWARD CULLEN! ALWAYS!!"

I was holding Edward up, walking him away from the bar as his one good arm held around my shoulder. Edward looked very pained at Victoria's words, knowing they were true. He looked at me with a tortured expression, not saying a word, tears in his eyes as I held him tighter. I wanted to tell him we'd find a way. We could all move and hide, with Katie and Tanya's parents. Edward wasn't walking towards the door anymore. He hesitated, looking at her, and I could see terrible thoughts swirling behind those eyes.

Emmett was trying to help my father up when Jasper unscrewed a bottle of vodka…and began pouring it over Victoria's head, covering her chest and legs with it next…jiggling the empty bottle until the very last drop was upon her.

Victoria growled and stared up at Jasper with hateful eyes, waiting.

Emmett was the one to ask.

"Jazz…", he stood, Charlie over his burly shoulder, "What are you doin'?"

"You heard what she said.", Jasper took another bottle and circled the bar, pouring liquor on the counter as he went, "She'll get some hot shot lawyer and get off! They all do! And then she'll come after Edward's kid and us, too! She deserves to die! You all know it!"

Not one of us said anything. We couldn't move. I hated the way I felt. I wanted her to die. I wanted her to burn.

"Don't do it, Jazz.", Edward breathed, as if it hurt him to say the words, "Your brother…was a good kid. So are you. Don't do something that's going to make you a slave. Once it's done…it's done. It won't bring Jason back."

"Alice! Rose!!", Emmett called above him and the girls came running down the stairs from Victoria's office, wearing their disguises, little mini dresses with heels, their wigs off now.

"Take him outside.", Emmett said to them as Jasper eyed the candle that was sitting on the table on his right, "The cops are out there. Just take him to the first car out there."

The girls silently put their arms around Jasper and they slowly walked out of the front door of the club.

Charlie made a horrible gurgling sound and I gasped, holding onto Edward as my eyes darted to Emmett.

"I'm going!", he hurried out, glancing at us with a strange look as he went to take Charlie to the ambulance outside.

We stood there and Victoria was soaking wet, stinking of booze and smiling wickedly up at us.

"Edward's not going to leave, Bella.", she informed me, "I can see it in his eyes now. He's sick to death of the thought of taking a step out of here without getting my permission first."

"You're wrong.", I sneered back down at her, holding him tighter, "He's a lot stronger than you know. He's finally free and he'll never have to be anyone's slave ever again. He's going to live now…finally. He's going to have a good life. Far away from you."

We began to walk away when she called to him one last time.

"EDWARD CULLEN!!", she screeched as he froze in place, his back to her now, "You're not allowed to leave! I'm going to drink your daughter's blood, Edward, if you go. I'll cut her into pieces while you watch me, I swear it. If it takes me twenty years, I'll do it. My every thought, my every dream…will be that…and I won't rest until I make it come true. Now…stay, boy. Sit!"

Edward sighed and looked at me, tears heavy in his eyes. He isn't free yet. And I can see that in his eyes…so beautiful, magical, yet filled with this immense sadness that I can never fully erase. At least, not yet.

"Wait here a second.", I leaned Edward against the vampire cage and he grabbed the outer bars for support, "I want to talk to Vicky for a minute."

"You've threatened him and his daughter for the last time, Victoria.", I said calmly, "I know it'll do Edward great harm, in his mind, if he kills you. It would even be horrible for Jasper. I like to help people whose minds are troubled, whose hearts are hurting. I like to solve problems. But, never before have I come across someone who has no heart…whose mind is just too sick to cure…who IS a problem…one that has to be dealt with…once and for all. Until you."

I picked up the candle from the table, using the holder to set it down upon the bar. It glowed in the dark room like an angelic light…I looked over at Edward and his eyes were staring…shining…with his silence his eyes answered mine.

Yes, they said.

I agreed.

"I'll lose no sleep over this, Victoria.", I said, thinking of my father, thinking of Edward and his daughter, smiling and hugging each other, a future moment that had to happen, one that had waited for too long to come true.

Edward would never be able to be free and happy as long as she lived…neither would his daughter. For them…for their love and happiness, I do this now. Whatever the punishment, I'll gladly pay it…either in this life…or the next.

I hesitated once before when I could've shot Victoria. And then she went on to shoot my father and Edward. I will not hesitate this time.

I walked away from Victoria and she stared at me, not uttering a word, almost daring me, as if she wanted it.

Without looking back at her, I looked at Edward, and we kissed each other with soft, quiet lips. In that moment, my mind was made up.

And then I said , "Goodbye, Victoria."

And I turned, looking into her dark eyes one last time, and shoved the candle over, the little flame kissing the alcohol stained counter…hissing out in hungriness.

My father once told me…don't think about what you've had to kill…think of what you've allowed to live.

Edward…Katie…Jasper…Emmett…Alice…Rosalie…Charlie…me…and the dozens of lives attached to all of those…I chose them.

We ran out of there as fast as we could, the sound of the rushing fire moving along the bar was the last thing I heard, along with Victoria's final screams, cursing obscenities at us.

"You can't RUN, EDWARD!!", she was still raging as we left, "Even from Hell, I can reach YOU, EDWARD CULLEN!! I WILL FIND YOU AGAIN!! EDWARRRDDD!!!"

Even after we were outside in the darkness of the streets, surrounded by police cars and ambulances, Edward kept running, in his bloody bare feet.

"EDWARD!!", I chased him as he ran, my hand in his. He was still losing blood and him running wasn't helping matters any.

"EDWARD STOP!!", I finally yanked him by the hand, stopping at the end of the street, the club in the background now.

He looked at me, his eyes so frightened, his breathing hard as his body trembled.

"You're bleeding bad.", I informed, the shirt sticking to his body, "You need to come back so the medics can take care of you."

Edward blinked and tears were moving down his face as he stared into my eyes, almost as if he were just waking up from a nightmare.

"Shhh…", I held him to me, tight, my hands in the back of his hair, "It's over. She's gone. She's gone, Edward. You're free. You are free, sweetheart."

He clutched onto me tighter and sobs poured out of him, into my neck and hair as I covered his face with small, tender kisses, reassuring him over and over again that it was over, that she wasn't coming back.

"You can be Katie's Daddy now, Edward.", I said, clearly and firmly.

"We killed her.", he breathed.

Alright. Let's deal with this right now. Dr. Bella is in.

"Yes.", I pulled back, looking into his deep green eyes, holding his face as I gave it to him straight, "We killed her. It had to be done. For us…for Katie. And I don't feel bad about it. I won't feel guilty, either. And neither will YOU. Do you hear me? We exterminated a dangerous insect today. One that would've wiped out your whole world simply because you walked away from her. She's owned you for too long, Edward. DON'T…let her own you anymore. It was the right thing to do. It was the right thing to do. Believe me. Please…believe me."

While I spoke, Edward's eyes strengthened…and I could see it with my naked eyes. The fear was going…and at last, it was gone. All of it.

"I love you, Bella.", he laid his forehead on mine, closing his eyes, "You heal me. You are my medicine."

"I love you, too, Edward.", I kissed his forehead, pulling his good arm, "Now come on, time to heal the rest of you. Rule one, when you're shot you have to go to the hospital."

He followed me as I led him to the first ambulance we found.

"Without a shirt on, right?", he gave me his crooked smile.

Edward would be alright. I knew it right then.

The psychiatric world might disagree but this I knew: Killing Victoria was good. It would not make me restless in the night. I would shed no tears over her or what I've done. I will not be afraid to fall asleep. She will not be in my dreams…or nightmares. She would not steal a drop of joy from my life from here on out. I wouldn't let her.

Some groups might call her a human being, a person, someone who had a right to live.

Not me.

All the pain she'd inflicted…not only upon Edward Cullen but countless others. Jason…Emmett…who knows how many others there had been? All those spirits would be at rest now…at peace…able to move onto a warm, sunny place now.

All the pain she could have inflicted…had yet to inflict…was unreal to consider. I believed her final words to Edward. I know she would've murdered Katie right before her father's eyes. She would've forever destroyed Edward Cullen at that moment. Even if he lived through such a thing, he'd be dead inside. He no doubt would find no reason to go on living then. He would kill himself.

Those images, avoided futures that I couldn't bear to linger on…they would keep me from feeling a drop of pity for Victoria…they would keep me from ruining my life with useless guilt. Everyday courts convict people just like her and give the death penalty, being merciful and giving a lethal injection, a quiet, painless death.

Today I was judge, jury, and executioner. And Victoria did not deserve a painless death.

Maybe if I or someone else had met Victoria long ago, maybe she could've been saved. But I can never think of it that way. I won't. What ifs and maybes didn't count now.

I'm sure Charlie would understand what I chose today. How many times did he see murderers and rapists walk away from court, free, ready to do it all over again to another innocent life?

My conscious is clear.

Edward will never have to look over his shoulder again, afraid. If this is the only gift I can give him, I'm ecstatic about it.

The one I love is closer than I think. I pray to God that Edward is closer to my heart…not further away now.

"HELP!", I waved at the paramedics as I helped Edward to the ambulance, and three men in white came running over to us, helping Edward up into the back as I followed him right inside.

We were flying in seconds as the men tended Edward's wound, tearing the shirt off his body as they laid him down flat on the gurney.

"Bella!", he reached for me, grabbing my hand and squeezing it, relieved I was still there, and he breathed easier, "Bella…please…don't leave me."

I don't think he was talking about me leaving him in the ambulance. It's more than that.

"I'm here, Edward.", I gazed at him and he never looked more beautiful to me…the look in those eyes…he is free. At last. Freed Eagle.

"I'm not going anywhere.", I assured, "Nothing could take me from you."

He smiled at me and I kissed his hand, both of my hands wrapped around his.

I kept worrying about Charlie and wished we'd get there already.

When we did arrive there, Edward was temporarily patched up to stop the bleeding and I hopped out of the back of the ambulance, waiting as they pulled Edward out by the gurney, wheeling him into the ER.

I ran inside after them and Edward was trying to reach for me again as they took him down the hall.

The paramedic told me I couldn't come into the ER and to wait out in the waiting room.

"Bella!", Edward tried to call out from under his oxygen mask.

I wanted to die right then, hating it but understanding that they had to hurry and couldn't give me time for a nice romantic talk first.

Tears ran down my face as I numbly walked towards the waiting room…and there I was almost jumped on by Emmett and Jasper, Alice and Rosalie.

"Bella," Emmett said over everyone else's voices as they all spoke at once, "Your father…"

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

See next chapter soon!!

I think the next one is going to be the last one.

I know, I'm sad, too.

Love, WinndSinger


	34. Private Hells and Farm Angels

34

BPOV

"What ABOUT my father?!', I felt a huge lump in my chest and my throat was clogging as Emmett stood there with his soft, sad brown eyes.

"I don't know everything.", Emmett said, glancing at the receptionist desk, "I told them I was Charlie's son so they'd get him right into surgery. I heard one of them say internal bleeding…"

I shoved by him and went to the front desk, cutting off another woman who was trying to get information about her husband.

"EXCUSE ME!", I almost yelled, "My father, Charlie Swan, was brought in. I want to know how he is. He's in surgery, I think."

I want to know how Edward is, too, but he just went in there and was all alone, too. I pictured a few people in white all around my Edward, shoving tubes into his throat, sticking needles into him, ignoring his shouts and questions while they worked on him. He's had that enough in his lifetime. I hate that now, after everything tonight, he has to go through it again, by himself.

Internal bleeding. That's not good. I kept seeing him land on his back…on that table…so hard…I think now I heard a horrible cracking sound. Was that the table…or my father's spine? Was I just imagining that sound now?

"Just one minute, please, Miss.", the older woman with huge glasses put a finger up at me.

I huffed and spun my head towards Emmett and Jasper, who were standing at my right side. Alice and Rosalie were at my left, trying to comfort me. Alice was rubbing my back.

"How was he in the ambulance?", I asked Emmett.

"He was talking…", Emmett began, "He seemed alright. He was even joking, saying you were probably making out with Edward somewhere. And then he just…conked out and all Hell broke loose."

I spun back to the lady at the desk and she looked at me now, the other woman beside me gone.

"What's the name?", she asked, fumbling with some yellow cards in front of her.

"Charlie SWAN.", I stated loudly and clearly, "S – W – A – N."

"He's in surgery.", the woman said. Duh.

"I know THAT.", I frowned, "How is he? What's wrong with him? Is he gonna be alright?"

"I have no idea, Miss.", she shrugged, "I can't interrupt any surgeries. You'll have to wait until they're through. Have a seat and as soon as I hear anything, I'll call you."

"Yea, right.", I grumbled, turning slowly away from the desk and stumbling towards the seats in the waiting room, Alice holding my hand and Rosalie staring back at me with worry in her eyes.

"How's Edward?", Emmett asked as we all took a seat.

I was shaking, hating it. The two men I loved more than anything were each in hospital emergency rooms, fighting for their lives, without me. And all I could do was sit here and wait for word from Mrs. Stupid at the desk.

"I think he's alright.", my voice trembled, "But I don't know. They took him into the ER and wouldn't let me come."

"He'll be okay, Bella.", Jasper put a hand on my shoulder, "They'll both be okay."

I let out a deep breath that I'd been holding and Alice asked if I wanted some water or something. I think I nodded.

"Jasper?", I looked at him, whispering.

"Yea?", he looked back.

"Victoria's dead.", I breathed, very low, "I dropped the candle on the bar. I think she's dead. I looked back and the whole bar was on fire."

Jasper looked strange. He looked glad, relieved, and satisfied…but also concerned and worried.

Emmett leaned forward, looking at Jasper.

"Go check it out, Jazz.", Emmett gave him permission to go, "We'll stay here with Bella. Come back and let us know what happened."

"Yea.", he stood up, about to rush out but then he came back, looking down at me.

"Thank you, Bella.", he simply said, then made another cringe at the way it sounded, "I'm sorry. You know what I mean."

"I know.", I tried to grin at him, "Go on."

A few minutes later, all my questions were popping into my head. And poor Emmett. I was asking him everything. Some things he could answer, others he couldn't.

"When did Jasper find that cloth?", I asked, "And why didn't he say anything? We could've skipped this whole night!"

"Jasper has been pretending to be a dancer for a long time.", Emmett began, "I knew it a couple weeks ago but I never told Victoria anything. I used to think Victoria was okay…until I saw what she did to Edward. He was a cool guy, you know. That night I helped him, and brought him into the club…I liked him right off. He was honest…looked everyone right in the eyes…he was strong. He had an opinion. He smiled a lot. He would argue if he didn't agree with you. Once Victoria got him, I saw that change a little more every day. It's like she was sucking the soul out of him. Soon, Edward never looked me in the eye again. He always looks down. He can't hold anyone's eyes for long. And he never argues. He never relaxes. He's always afraid. He never laughs. Not for real. Well, until you came along, anyway."

Emmett frowned, and continued.

"Anyway…", he sighed, "I told Jasper to watch out for Edward. He was in trouble, I told Jazz. I didn't know anything about him being there to avenge his brother. I thought he was an undercover cop or something. He didn't tell me much. I guess he didn't trust me yet. The other night, Charlie saw him hanging out, watching the club. He and I were keeping an eye on the place, making sure Edward was okay. We always do that, when Edward is in the dungeon. It's been a long time since he's been in there, being punished. He's usually very well behaved for Victoria."

"Charlie and Jasper soon figured out that they were on the same side. Charlie showed Jazz the sketch of his brother and Jasper…broke down a little. Charlie told him what happened to his brother. Until that moment, Jazz was hoping maybe his brother was still alive somewhere, maybe living like Edward was. But then he knew. And he kinda…went a little nuts. He wanted revenge. He didn't want to turn Victoria into the cops. He went along with Charlie, acting like he was in on the plan. But really…he wanted her dead."

"Jasper told me what was going on.", Emmett looked at his hands, "And we watched the dungeon like hawks. The one night, Victoria asked me to bring exercise equipment into the dungeon for Edward the next day. I had Jasper 'help me'. Edward was asleep, looking alright. He had a big goofy smile on his face. He looked like he was peaceful so I didn't wake him. Then Jasper unzipped the back of Vic's leather table and took out this cloth. It was all dry but red with blood on it. Jasper told me what it was and I told him we should bring it to Charlie. But he said no. He wanted Victoria dead and if the police got the cloth, he'd be the first suspect. He said it was his brother's blood and it belonged to him now. The police would only mess things up, Jazz said. He told me about this dinner Victoria was planning. He said it would be the perfect time to let her have it. Police could blame it on Sir Kevin, or James, or Raven…He said this way, he could take out a whole bunch of them. Get justice for his little brother. When he told me what they did to his brother, I kinda agreed. We swore we'd keep you and Edward safe. We would've been with you all the time, but then we found Alice and Rosalie in Victoria's office."

Emmett gave me a look then.

"Sorry.", I frowned, "You know, if you guys trusted us and told us what you were planning, we could've all got together and formed a better plan."

"Jasper wasn't thinking straight, Bella. I got so scared when Victoria poured her drink into Edward's mouth.", Emmett changed the subject, "I thought maybe Jazz poisoned her drink with something lethal. I ran back in there and almost screamed at him, asking him if he did that. He was smart enough not to try that, though, he knows Victoria feeds Edward things at these dinners. Even though he was nuts to get revenge…he tried to make sure you guys wouldn't get hurt."

"Revenge is a bitch.", I agreed, wondering if I killed Victoria for revenge…or to stop her from hurting Edward anymore.

It didn't matter.

All that matters now is Edward and Charlie. If they came out of this alright, I wouldn't care about all the rest.

"Bella?" Emmett touched my arm.

"Yea?" I rubbed my wet eyes, knowing it would probably be hours before I had some news on either of my men.

"Your Dad saved my life, Bella. I was cuffed but still fighting back pretty good. I head butted one of the guys and had the other one's neck between my legs, ready to snap his neck. Then the one I head butted sat up and aimed his gun at the back of my head. That's when Charlie attacked. He's really cool."

I'm glad he's using the present tense.

"Yea, he is.", I felt tears in my eyes.

My Dad is always the unsung hero, never wanting credit for what he does, never enjoying the spotlight, always applauding for everyone else except himself, always holding up another on his shoulders.

I had given him such a hard time during all this. I wanted instant justice, like Jasper did. I wanted fast results and I wasn't quiet about it when I screamed at my Dad. Maybe if I hadn't rushed him like I did…maybe this could've gone smoother.

Maybe he wouldn't be in surgery now. And neither would Edward.

_Dad, God…I'm so sorry. I told you that a paid escort gave me more love and affection in two weeks than you did in my entire lifetime. That was so fucked up of me. And not true. I stuck a knife in your heart because I was so afraid. I almost thought that you wanted Edward to die, so he wouldn't be around me anymore. You've been there for me my whole life, Dad…in everything I ever did. And at the first sign of trouble, I turned my back on you…and worse…I lashed out at you._

_I love you, Daddy. _

_Please God, give me the chance to say that to him again. Let me get a chance to say I'm sorry and see his dry smile as he forgives me once again for my stupid mistakes._

_You saved us all. You saved Edward. You saved me._

When I closed my eyes, tears fell out of them and my head dropped into my trembling hands.

Then Emmett hugged me to him, whispering, "He's gonna be okay. He's a tough old guy. He heard about your sex games with Edward from the bug and survived. Although I thought we were losing him at that point. I thought he was going to team up with James and Vic and run down to the dungeon to finish you both off."

"Shut up.", I didn't want to smile or laugh but I nearly did.

"Thanksgivings and Christmas is gonna be an especially fun time for all you guys.", Emmett smirked.

"Stop.", I tried to hide a grin, picturing Charlie and Edward exchanging Christmas gifts by the tree.

Emmett hugged me tighter, and I let him. I never had a big brother before. It felt like I had one now. I needed one now. So I hugged him back.

This has been Edward's one true friend through some horrible fucked up years. He made sure Edward was fed and warm on nights when no one else cared or bothered, even Edward himself. He was the shoulder Edward leaned on, his protector, his teacher, the rock he clung to.

He is family.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

BPOV

I'm not sure how much time had passed when a doctor finally came out and called, "Edward Cullen's family?"

I was already on my feet, along with Emmett and the girls behind me.

"Yes!", I held myself together, holding my stomach as the 35-ish man with tussled black hair and fair skin stood there, in his blue scrubs.

"You're all related to him?", he raised a brow, not stupid by any means.

"I'm his brother.", Emmett said blankly, stating it as truth. It was the truth.

The doctor gave a nod and began.

"Edward is very lucky.", he said as my stomach unclenched, "It was a little tough for awhile, we couldn't make the bleeding stop. But then we got a miracle. We sealed up the nicked artery. Edward will be fine. But he lost a lot of blood. We're trying to locate some …"

"His blood type is the same as mine, O.", Emmett said straight away, "I'll give him some right now."

"Oh, okay, great!", the doctor looked pleased and surprised that Emmett would just know this and also have the same blood type.

I love you, Emmett…so much.

"Come with me, then, and we'll get you set up.", the doctor offered.

Emmett turned to me and hugged me again, muttering to me, "It comes up every time we have to get ourselves tested."

"Thank you, Emmett.", I squeezed him so tight, tears in my eyes again, "Thank you."

"No thanks needed.", Emmett smiled, "I told you, we're brothers. My blood is his blood. I'll be right back."

Emmett was going and the doctor with him when I stopped them.

"Wait!", I shouted, feeling bad right away, since we were in a hospital, "How is Edward now? Is he alright? Is he in any pain?"

"Not at all.", the doctor smiled at me assuring, "I gave him something and he's asleep now. He's fine. I promise. Later, when he wakes up, you can all say hello."

"Can't I just see him now?", I let a tear fall, not caring, "Just for a second? I won't wake him up, I just need to."

"Bella, he's okay.", Emmett ran a hand down my arm, "Let him sleep a little. He's had a rough week."

"You're Bella?", the doctor grinned at me.

"Yea, why?", I frowned.

He smiled a little more. "I was given lots of messages for you while I was trying to work on him. I don't remember them all, but let me see. There was I love you, Bella, I'll always love you. Then there was – tell Katie I love her, too. Tell her I've always loved her. Tell her I'm sorry I wasn't there for so long. I kept telling Edward he wasn't going to die, but he still kept giving me messages. That's when I decided to put him to sleep. Down to the last second, he was talking. The last thing he said was weird. He said, 'Tell them I died free…and happy.'"

"That's our Edward.", Emmett smirked, "Always the optimist. Mr. Overthinker."

"Luck isn't usually on his side.", my weepy voice said to both Emmett and the doctor.

"It was today.", both Emmett and the doctor said at the same time and laughed at each other.

I even had to smile. He would be alright. If I could right now, I'd fly up to space and back again, howling and laughing all the way. I was crying and smiling at the same time when the doctor glanced behind him and said, "Come on, Bella. You can have a minute. Just don't tell anyone on me."

"Oh God!", I sobbed gratefully, "Thank you!"

"Shhhh…", he grinned, taking my hand and shrugging his head at Emmett to follow us.

Before getting to Edward's room, the doctor handed Emmett off to a nurse, telling her to how much CC's of blood to get from him. I wasn't listening much. I was almost jumping up and down waiting to see Edward.

"Thanks, Doc.", Emmett went down another hallway, his eyebrows dancing suggestively at us with the pretty red-haired nurse while the doctor took me to the left.

Room 43. He opened the door slowly and whispered, "Be very quiet, okay? There's another patient asleep inside."

"Okay.", I agreed in a whisper, adding, "Thanks again."

He nodded and walked off as I went inside.

The walls were a nice soft yellow and the lights were dim. It was still dark outside I noticed and guessed it was in the wee hours of the morning, no sunrise yet.

A curtain was pulled so I couldn't see the patient next to Edward but I didn't need to see anyone else. I couldn't pull my eyes away from the deep reddish brown hair that refused to behave…and the even fairer white face of the sleeping, peaceful angel a few feet away.

The yellow blanket looked soft and clean and was tucked under his arms. They were straight at his sides and his bed had his head raised slightly up. He looked so stiff and mannequin-like, like a ken doll, nothing like the curled up god he usually was while he slept.

As I moved closer, I saw they had an IV injected into the top of his hand, a white piece of tape over the spot the needle entered.

I felt my chin trembling as I wept, trying to keep it quiet, my hand covering my mouth tightly.

His lips were in that cute little ducky pout I first saw when I woke up next to him that first morning after. His lips are so deep red.

I couldn't really make myself say words right now. I moved my fingers, ghosting them, really, over his lips, moving softly over his eyebrows…then his eyelids…the backs of my fingers gliding down those deep cheekbones, both sides…I gently kissed those sweet little boy lips, unable to stay away. Then I kissed his hand where the IV was poking into him, as if my kiss could cure that, too.

Love is the best medicine for a broken heart.

He was wearing a blue hospital gown with white trim and that just made his skin appear more transparent to me. He looked terribly pale. That scared me. But then he needs blood. Emmett is taking care of that now. I'm sure they have more blood around here, too, somewhere.

I could see thick bandages over where the gunshot was over the space between his shoulder and torso. I'm sure there was more on the back of him, where the bullet entered. It was then that I realized the bullet had passed through him. It's a miracle it didn't hit me then. I didn't even think of that before, in all the chaos. My eyes widened as a thought began to creep in.

Did it hit my Dad? He was right beside me.

I had to get back out there in case they had news about my Dad, but how can I leave Edward alone now?

A couple more minutes, I told myself.

Sniffing, I wiped my red, swollen eyes and took a deep breath.

_Don't leave me, Bella_…he had said to me in the ambulance.

I don't want to leave you. Ever.

I would be in this bed now, if it weren't for you, I mentally told him as I touched his hair, moving it upwards with my careful fingers. I like it wild, up and disobedient. Just as he had been tonight when he saved my life. Just as he was when he fought for his freedom.

"You are the best partner ever.", I whispered, feeling another tear fall, staring at his still eyes…hypnotized by the very tiny but long black eyelashes. I had felt badly about my joke earlier, saying I wanted Jasper for my partner. I never want to say anything that hurts him, even in the slightest, ever again. He'd had enough hurt for one lifetime.

Only you, Edward, knowing all the greatest pains in the world, would have the heart and the guts to throw yourself into a bullet to keep it from me. You are my protector now. You are my man. Forever. I could never feel anything but complete love and pride for you. You have never been a slave in my eyes, Edward. You could never look weak or helpless to me…even when you're chained up naked right against me.

"I love you so much, Edward.", I whispered right into his ear, bending over and cradling his face in my gentle hands, kissing his nose and then his lips very, very carefully, "Love's too small a word for what I feel for you."

"My little ducky lips.", I smiled down at that mouth…so adorable, "Before you know it, you'll be back in my bed, cuddling with me. I can't fall asleep unless you hold me now. You spoiled me rotten."

I gathered up the blanket and eased his hands underneath it, laying them over his waist, bringing the golden cotton up around his neck, under his chin, the way he liked it.

"There you go, baby.", I breathed, smoothing the blanket over his chest, not going near where the bandages were, "Sleep now. Dream sweet dreams. I'll sneak a cherry icee in tomorrow. I think you've earned it."

The patient next to Edward on the other side of the curtain coughed then. My head spun at the sound of it.

Coughing. Smoke inhalation?

It better not be. Not in the same room. God isn't that twisted, is she?

I was at the curtain in two steps and I paused…shivering. Then I tore it open in one hard yank.

Would it be James? Sir Kevin? What would I do if it was?

A little old man jumped as I stood there, staring at him, the curtain in my fist. He coughed again, a couple thick blankets over his little body.

"Sorry.", I offered as he covered his mouth, "Are you okay?"

God, I am paranoid. But then, I have reason to be.

He nodded and I saw there was a pitcher of water and a few plastic cups at his bedside.

I poured him a glass and handed it to him. He might have thought I was a nurse in this dim light and he slowly sipped his cup as I slowly moved the curtain back into place.

"Just making sure you're safe.", I said to Edward as I came back quickly, "We're partners, remember?"

I cautiously let a tiny sliver of my butt sit on the edge of the bed, not wanting to do anything to hurt him or disturb him now.

I ran my fingers over his and tried not to cry right now. I didn't want him to hear me sad, not after all we'd done to get to this moment.

I slipped his friendship ring off my finger and held his finger, sliding it onto his pinky, the only finger small enough to fit inside it.

"Will you marry me, Edward Cullen?", I whispered, almost to myself, smiling and letting tears fall.

His lips just curled up more, looking slightly stubborn now, like he was pouting. His breathing was so deep and calm now…it soothed me.

"I know, you're the man, it's your job to ask me, huh?", I teased.

I took a breath and said, "We have a lot to do. A lot to learn. A lot to say…I know. I want this to be good. I want this to be happy. I want this…forever. It's going to take a lot of work. But I'll do the work. I'll do anything. For you. You are my life now. My life always."

I hope he still feels the same way about me now. I hope he doesn't think he just left one murderess for another. I hope he still thinks I'm different than the other women he's known. I want to be.

The doctor peeked inside a moment later and I stood up, not wanting to abuse the gift he'd given me.

"Coming.", I said to the doctor and he waited a second as I bent over my sleeping prince one more time.

"I'll be back soon, Thumper.", I smiled, kissing the little dent in his chin and pulling myself away before I'd never let myself go, adding, "Be good."

It took all the strength I had to walk away from him but I managed to do it…only so I could go back to the waiting room and wait some more to hear more about my father. The doctor who cared for Edward said he'd try to find out what was going on with Charlie but that was hours ago.

Rosalie and Alice were watching The View on TV while I stared at my shoes, still wearing Raven's stolen dress. I wish I had some nice comfy sweats and a t-shirt…some warm cotton socks.

Emmett's cell rang and he stopped eating his snickers bar, flipping it open.

"Jazz!", Emmett almost yelled, frowning, "Where the hell have you been?"

A series of yeas and uh-huhs came out of Emmett and then he sighed and said, "I know."

Then Emmett told Jasper that Edward was fine and was getting his blood transfusions now and that we still hadn't heard about Charlie yet.

"Yea, she's here.", Emmett said, "Hold on."

He handed the phone to me and Alice looked a little hurt that he asked for me over her first. But she was watching me and listening intently.

"Jasper?", I answered.

"Hi Bella.", he said, "I'm at the police station. I would've called before, but I had lots to tell these guys, you know."

"I know.", I said, feeling afraid that the police would know that I killed Victoria.

"So, when are they coming to arrest me?", I asked, half kidding, half not.

"Why would they arrest you?", Jasper asked, "Sir Kevin is the one who killed Victoria."

I squinted and asked, "What?" The lack of sleep and the worrying was making me a little dumb at the moment.

"Sir Kevin and Victoria were fighting over Edward.", Jasper informed, as if it were fact and he was remembering it, "A candle fell over and they both went up in flames. Sir Kevin didn't make it, either. His head lit up right away, since he was covered in alcohol."

I let out a breath and whispered, "Thank you, Jasper."

I imagined Edward waking up and finding out I was in jail for murder. My father didn't have that kind of money for a brilliant lawyer and I'd never want to put him or Edward through some year long trial.

Edward would need to get to his daughter as soon as possible. I wouldn't want him sitting in the first row behind me all that time while I sat there at the defense table in my orange uniform. I knew he would, but I would hate every single day of it.

That would kill both of us.

Not to mention, Edward on the stand, lying, trying to save me as he told countless tales of the things Sir Kevin and Victoria performed on him. Then the inhuman stripping Edward would endure as the state's attorney got up and tore him to shreds, calling him a willing whore and Victoria's submissive boyfriend. They'd make him look like a sleazy villain, not a victim. I didn't like seeing him as either of those, but that's what he'd seem to be, as each side presented their cases.

The news would be all over it. Ben and Angela would hear all about it. Katie would, too. Edward would be on the news and on the front pages of all the papers, microphones shoved in his face as he tried to leave the courtroom everyday, saying 'No comment.'

Katie's classmates would probably tease her everyday about it. It would have ruined all of us. It would've destroyed our love.

It would have destroyed ME.

And in the end, I'd be convicted anyway. Because I did do it. And I would never be sorry for it. I couldn't see myself sitting there, enduring all of that, and not leaping to my feet and confessing it all, proudly.

"James and Raven have been arrested.", Jasper said next, "I told them all about James. They listened to the stuff Charlie recorded in the dungeon. Victoria wrecked the bug when she took it off you, so they just heard everything up to then. They heard James' plans for you, Bella. They heard Victoria saying that she'd keep Edward, using you to keep him quiet. They know she shot Edward and your father. They'll be coming to the hospital later today to get statements from all you guys. I gave them the cloth and told them about my brother. They're talking to James now, trying to find out where the body is. And how many more bodies there are. He's not talking yet…but I think he will."

Alright, I told myself simply. Victoria DID die. And so did Sir Kevin. I still didn't know much about that man but I saw that he scared the shit out of Edward. I'm sure he hurt Edward, too, in some way. I hoped I was wrong about my suspicions…but I don't think I was. Sir Kevin liked Edward, he had told me last night. Sir Kevin…had…been with…Edward. I'm sure he was forced, unless Katie or I were threatened again. He told me he was Edward's new master. And it did look like he was caring for Edward's wounds after he was shot.

It must have been recently that Sir Kevin entered Edward's life. Edward had told me in our sessions that he'd never had a man before. And then I wanted to tear my heart out. I let him go back there. I just let him walk away, going to a place where he was raped by a man. That was his punishment for caring for me in front of Victoria. That was his punishment for me attacking her that night.

I knew without being told…that's why the bug was lost so soon. Edward wanted Charlie and I spared that, even if he wouldn't be spared it. He could've said his word and ended the whole thing right then. But he wanted to be a member of the team, he wanted to get real proof against Victoria so she'd never bother us again. He gave himself up so we could have a future. He sacrificed his body once more…for us…for his daughter.

And he says he isn't strong.

I want to go hug him some more now.

"Raven will most likely be released with bail.", Jasper said, snapping me out of my thoughts, "She didn't really do much of anything. She offered you a contract as a sub with her, that's not illegal. And you said yes. I don't think she'll be any danger, even free. Her father is a big deal, owns a corporation. He has to come bail her out with his lawyer. No doubt he'll ship her off to Puerto Rico so she won't embarrass him or cost him any business with this scandal."

I swallowed and thought of her for a second. She might not seem dangerous to Jasper but I've seen her work on Edward's body. She is demented and has a major crush on Edward. But I don't really see her doing anything like coming after Edward or something. She might just move away and start over, finding some other poor bastard to be her slave. One thing is for sure. There are broken hearted people in every country, every city. I wondered how many Edwards there were out there, waiting to begin their Hell, as Edward was just finishing his time there.

I want to save everyone. I want to heal all the broken hearts out there, before they become victims or slaves…or corpses.

I want to be a doctor now more than ever. I have to be a psychiatrist. But did I have to stay here to do it? Could I? I had built a whole life here…I had loved it here. I adored New York. It had everything! Forks had nothing new, ever. New York could be different every day, it was always changing and surprising me. I saw myself living here forever, just three weeks ago.

Now, I kept seeing myself in sunny Florida, covered with sunburn, but happily holding Katie's hand as Edward held the other, and we were walking along the crowded beach, searching for a spot to claim with our umbrella.

Would Katie like me? Would she push me away? Was it right for me to be there? Katie had waited for her Daddy for so long…and now she'd have him…but I would probably take the joy out of that, horning in where I wasn't wanted. Daddy's new girlfriend. She'd probably think that I'm the one who took him away from her all those years. And we couldn't tell her the truth as to where he'd been.

They deserved time alone together. Ben and Angela would always be there, but Katie needed Edward all to herself, to discover him again, to see that he still loved her and always would, and that none of this was her fault.

Would she get to experience all that if Edward was always upset, telling her to give me a chance?

I did not want to be the third wheel, trying to analyze every thing Katie said or did. I could not be Dr. Bella for Katie. And I didn't want to be. I don't want to be a new Mommy for Katie. No one could ever take her place. She still hadn't dealt with losing her mother yet, from what Edward told me. He had to deal with it, too, and hadn't yet.

I want to be Katie's friend. If I had any chance of being that…I couldn't show up on her doorstep holding Edward's hand the day he came back to her. That much I knew.

"Bella?", Jasper asked, hearing only my pained breathing on the line.

"I'm here. Sorry.", I snapped out of it, pushing away the image of Edward's face as I told him I couldn't go with him.

_You said you wouldn't leave me. Ever._

I could hear him saying the words, hurt thick in his voice.

"Everything will be alright, Bella.", Jasper said with confidence, "I want to thank you, too, for how brave you were last night. My brother thanks you, too. I probably won't be seeing you guys for awhile. They're putting me and my parents in witness protection. I'm trying to decide now if I want my hair black or red."

I had to chuckle at that, although I hated the idea of Jasper being placed in witness protection. But it made sense. Victoria's family would probably want some kind of revenge…or to get rid of the witnesses so James couldn't be convicted of anything. I wondered if they'd try to get Edward and I, Charlie, and even Emmett, Alice and Rosalie to join it too. Did we have to do it? Did we have a choice? How would Edward be with his daughter then?

"Wait!", I almost leapt to my feet, "What about Edward's daughter? Is she safe?"

"Alice found Edward's kid's address in the computer. She wiped out a lot of Edward's information, but who knows if James or his family know where Katie is. They have Florida police watching out for them now. They'll definitely be offered the witness protection deal, along with Edward."

Well, there goes the dreams about Florida. They'd probably move Edward and his family to the other side of the world, in some nothing little town like Forks. So, if I didn't join the program with them, they'd be gone, hidden in plain sight, to a place I'd never be allowed to know. I wouldn't even be able to join them later on, after Katie had some time with her Dad. I'd never be allowed to know where they went or how to reach them…ever. I'd lose him.

So much for a happily ever after.

I felt my knees shaking as I tried to think of something profound to say as he was telling me goodbye…but that's when a doctor finally came out and called, "Charlie Swan?"

I had to rush a "Gotta go, Jazz, my father! Talk to Emmett!"

I leapt up before thinking about it and tossed Emmett his phone. Sorry, Jasper. You deserved a nicer goodbye than that.

"I'm his daughter, Bella.", I almost ran into the older doctor who was balding with a salt and pepper beard, Alice and Rosalie beside me.

"Your father just came out of surgery.", the doctor informed, a glum look on his face, "He had multiple, multiple injuries, I'm afraid. We took care of the gunshot in his leg and abdomen. It was a miracle his back wasn't broken, considering the fall he took. But his leg, the leg that was also shot, was completely shattered…everywhere. And then, trying to retrieve the bullet out of there…was impossible. Miss Swan…we had to amputate your father's leg. It was either that or he'd have bled out. It wasn't salvageable. I'm sorry."

He must have landed on that leg when he fell. My head was spinning. Charlie lost his leg. They already cut it off!! He'd be in a wheelchair!! He'd need a prosthetic leg! He could never be a cop now! He would lose his job! Being a cop is everything to Charlie!

"No. Wait!", I felt so angry at the doctor suddenly, rational thought gone, "You…chopped off his leg?!"

"We had no choice, Miss.", the doctor repeated, "We would've lost him. We worked all through the night, hoping we wouldn't have to do it. But five of us, finally had to agree. There really was no other way."

"But he's a COP!", I shook all over, "A police CHIEF! What is he supposed to do now?!"

The doctor looked uncomfortable as Emmett was behind me now, rubbing my arms supportively, trying to calm me down.

"I'm very sorry.", the doctor said, looking down, turning and walking back down the hallway.

"Yea, fine, just WALK AWAY!", I yelled louder, getting the attention of all the people in the waiting room, "Can't fix it, then just CHOP IT OFF!! Fucking incompetent---"

"Bella.", Emmett turned me away from the hallway, "Come on, let's look on the side of – your father is alive."

"You don't KNOW Charlie!", I cried, "This will kill him!"

"Come on…sit down.", Emmett sat me down gently as the girls stared down at me, looking sad for me.

"Listen, Bella.", Emmett began, "Your father is a cop. He's known all his life, that saving others…could mean he'd get hurt in the line of duty. Every cop knows that. They accept it. Losing a leg won't make Charlie less than what he is. I promise."

"This is my fault, Emmett!", I grabbed at my hair, "I made him come here, I made him help us! He'd be safe at home in Forks right now if it weren't for me!"

"Then I'd be dead now.", Emmett informed, clearing things up for me, staring right into my eyes, "Edward…would be dead now. Remember who shot Victoria's leg, just as she was about to shoot Edward in the head?"

I just cried, hating it that I couldn't regret asking my father to come here to help us. He had played major parts in this whole thing. Maybe he wasn't some Rambo type, but if it weren't for him, it's true. Emmett would definitely be dead. Edward would 90 per cent probably be dead, too. Who knows what else could've happened if Charlie hadn't been part of it all?

"It's okay.", Emmett kissed the top of my head as I hung it in my hands, "Go ahead and cry. It is fucked up."

Emmett soon took me outside, to sit in the nice morning breeze while I bawled.

It did feel much nicer than being in that awful waiting room, everyone staring at me, whispering about me.

I began to see just how nice it was to be comforted and cared for by Emmett and for a second, I wondered if Emmett thought I was a big a pain in the ass as Edward probably had been for him the last few years. I knew he didn't mind but I also promised myself I'd find a way to repay him for all he'd done, not just for me…but for Edward. He is this big, scary looking guy at first. But then, when he touches you, he's a giant teddy bear. I was so grateful for Emmett today.

Or maybe he was trying to thank Charlie for saving his life by taking care of me.

Either way, it was very sweet. But I hated it that I would rather have Edward here, holding me, kissing me…whispering supportive things into my ear. I also knew he would be very upset hearing about my Dad, and would probably do just what I did…blame himself. At that point, I'd have to bring Emmett in to give him the same speech I got.

I liked it best when he didn't say anything. He didn't fill up the void by talking and giving me all kinds of cute little platitudes. He just let me cry. I pictured Edward…naked and crying while Emmett just sat there at his side, letting him do it, not letting him do it alone.

Finally, at about noontime, I found myself brave enough to come back to the waiting room. I told my friends to go home and get some sleep. They were still in their little dresses, in their bare stocking feet because they'd kicked off their high heeled shoes hours ago. They went, only when I said I needed a comfortable pair of jeans and a t-shirt, socks and sneakers. They promised to be back in about an hour.

Emmett stayed with me, getting me to venture downstairs into the cafeteria. It was only then that I thought maybe I should call his parents…or maybe Joseph and Katherine. But did Edward want them to know? What if the police said something to them about what happened? No, Emmett and I decided. Edward could decide if he wanted someone else to come here and visit him.

I thought of calling my mother about Charlie but I decided against that, too. She was on the road with Phil, a minor league baseball player. I didn't want to call her and ask her to leave to come here and stare at Charlie, her ex husband, who barely could talk to her anymore, let alone want her seeing him with no leg. She'd be sure to ask what happened. And I didn't want to explain it to her, either. Not now.

Emmett made me take a little walk with him around the hospital, now that we had the news on both Edward and Charlie. He wanted me to take a little time away from sitting in that waiting room. We walked by the maternity ward and almost wanted to stop and run the other way.

But Emmett was so excited to be there and see the babies. That surprised me. But after he'd been so great to me, I didn't protest.

We were looking through the glass at the little clear boxes they called cribs inside. Babies names adorned each crib and every little bundle had a pink cap or blue on snugly wrapped around their tiny, soft heads.

We pointed out the cute ones to each other. Then we pointed out the strange looking ones to each other. I found myself laughing at this one, Jennifer. She wouldn't stop crying. She looked cranky and her little bottom lip kept curling out, pouting. This reminded me of Edward's lips.

"I love babies.", Emmett confessed, then glanced at me, slightly embarrassed. But I was smiling back at him, so he let that go.

I could see Emmett being great with babies. He'd make a sweet father.

"They haven't made one mistake yet.", he tilted his head as he looked at one, "They could be anything…DO anything."

Dr. Bella was back, knowing why Emmett liked the thought of a blank slate. I'm sure his life with Victoria was no picnic, either. And I wondered how many times she'd hurt him, too. I was so focused on Edward's pain, I didn't think of all the rest of theirs. I'm sure she shared her sickness with every man who worked for her.

"You're free now, too, Emmett.", I crossed my arms, looking at him with a small smile, "What are you gonna do now?"

"Well…", Emmett smiled wide, the realization dawning on him that he had a clean slate now, too, and could do anything…go anywhere.

"First I want to tell the cops everything I know.", Emmett began, "I want James to rot in his cell and I want to see him in there, even if it's for a minute. It'll be great to see him on the inside for once."

"Alright, after your duty is done, then what?", I dug a little more.

"Hmmm…" he grinned, looking at the babies again, "I never even thought about it. Weird. I know I want to work outside – I don't care what weather it is, I want to be outside. Maybe work with animals. I like farms."

"Farms?", I smiled more as we both chuckled together.

I understood him right off. After being cooped up in these dark, smoky places it made sense he'd want to be out in the open air, bundled up in the rain and snow, not minding the cold after all he'd endured. And it was nice that he wanted to care for animals. No doubt people looked less attractive to him now after all he'd seen them do than innocent animals, who never meant to hurt anyone. And liking farms…Emmett wanted to grow things, where once there was nothing. He wanted to see thins bloom and open up instead of watching people like Edward shrink inside and close themselves off. He wanted to dig in the soil, feeling clean inside at the end of the day, instead of feeling dirty all the time, inside and out.

He wanted the total opposite of what he had before.

"I've never been on a farm," Emmett shrugged, "But I think I'd like it. I don't know."

He was so adorable and shy all of a sudden. I didn't feel bad at all, here, watching the babies, like I thought I would. This was nice. I really like Emmett. I'm glad Edward had this great brother watching out for him while he lived at Fire. It just proves, even in our private hells, sometimes God sends us an angel to watch out for us.

"I think you'd be a great farmer.", I said, "You're big and strong…and you'd look wonderful in those denim overalls and straw hats."

We were both laughing. And it was wonderful.

I took his arm and leaned on it, rubbing his back now. And we watched the babies some more. I hoped Edward would be awake soon. The nurses promised to let us see him when he woke up. It shouldn't be much longer but I felt bad wishing he'd get up so he could be sore and uncomfortable and troubled by the news of Charlie. A big part of me wanted him to keep resting, to enjoy his happy place in peace.

"Come on, Bella.", Emmett put an arm around me and we were walking again, "I'll tell you the story of how Edward earned the name Thumper."

"Emmett?"

"Bella?"

"I'm glad you're not dead."

"Gee, thanks."

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Notes: Okay, this isn't the last chapter. I can't end it yet. Sue me. I love these guys, too. And there is a lot more to do. So, yes, like the vampire thing, I was wrong again. Told you it happens all the time.

Love you guys!

See next chapter soon!

Love WinndSinger


	35. First Love Hurts

35

EPOV

"I was so scared when he finally looked up at me..", Bella's voice said, sounding very far away, "He walked across the gym floor and I couldn't breathe. I almost passed out from lack of oxygen by the time he made it over to me. And he asked me to dance with him."

Bella sighed and that's when I felt her fingers stroking mine. Slowly…my fingers began to feel like mine again. Flesh…bone…muscle…air…warmth…sound….it was all coming back.

I'm alive…even better than that…Bella is touching me…talking to me…with me.

What is she talking about? Her first dance? Does she think jealousy will bring me out of it? Well, it is working, isn't it?

Inside, I smiled, wanting to hear more. I wished I could've been the first boy to ask her to dance. Even though that boy is probably still feeling the pain in his toes somewhere, cursing Bella's name. I wanted to be her everything.

Then she gasped and I heard her more clearly, saying, "Em!! He's smiling!"

"He's waking up?", Emmett's voice was loud and strong, making me feel even safer. Then a second later, I wished he weren't right here with us. I wanted to be alone with my Bella.

"Edward?", she whispered, making her voice softer and more delicate, "Baby…it's alright. We're all here. You're alright. Can you try to open your eyes, sweetheart?"

Can I? If she wanted it, I would stop time.

My eyes were heavy but I did manage to blink them open, and a blurry Bella face was hovering above me.

I heard her laugh, in relief, and I could make out that she was smiling, her little white teeth coming into focus now.

I couldn't help the slow smile that came back to life as her details sharpened. I could make out every hair in her head, her eyelashes…the light brown circle in her eyes that laid inside a darker brown edge…she never looked more beautiful to me than right now.

"Hi baby…", her voice nearly mewed this and I saw tears lining the bottoms of her eyes. Her hands were holding both of mine now, securely, lovingly, telling me that I was in good hands, that I was with people who loved me.

Does my voice work? Let me see.

With a small clear of my throat, I squinted and tried it.

"Hi.", I so eloquently began.

Bella laughed again and I heard Emmett give a warm chuckle, too. Then Bella was crying.

No, none of that. Crying was in our past now. Laughter…that's our new sound. I tried to think of something that would make her stop crying.

"Who are YOU?", I smiled, innocently and both Bella and Emmett gasped, their mouths hitting the floor.

Then I laughed. I laughed as if it had been a thousand years since I'd tried it. And I watched both of their faces as they realized…Emmett smiled.

But…Bella didn't.

"That's NOT funny, Edward Thumper Cullen!", she almost went to slap my arm or something but halted herself, not wanting to assault me while I was still in my hospital bed.

"Oh, come on, Bella…", I smiled a little less proudly, "It was very funny."

"Edward has a sick sense of humor.", Emmett agreed, "I thought you knew about that already, Bella."

"No.", she said, then thought about it, "Well…maybe. There was the one time I almost went to school in my robe! And he almost let me do it without telling me!"

I laughed again, thinking about that day and the look on her face…

"Oh God, Emmett!", I giggled, "It was a Care Bear bathrobe!"

He started laughing with me as Bella frowned more, not enjoying us at the moment.

"I can't believe I actually prayed for you to wake up.", Bella grumbled and almost got up off my bed. She was sitting there, beside me. Emmett grabbed her by the arms and sat her back down in place and stood himself up.

"I'm gonna go check out some nurses.", Emmett was backing out of the room, I was sure to let me have some alone time with Bella.

"See you later, ugly.", Emmett pointed at me, with his usual smirk as I grinned back at him like an idiot, "Bella, catch you in a few."

He was gone and I knew I had some apologizing to do.

I squeezed her little hands in mine and smiled more, unable to stop it, and said, "I'm sorry, Bella. You were crying. I hate that. I just wanted to make you laugh."

She looked down at our hands and melted, smiling as I wanted her to now.

"Yea…", I purred in approval, "That's how I love seeing your face. You have the most perfect smile. Well…you and Katie…"

Then, a sudden fear rose up inside of me. Victoria….Katie…James…

"Bella!", I suddenly tensed and was grabbing her hard, her face staring back at me in shock, "Katie! Where is she?! Is she alright?! Someone has to warn them – to get out of the house! How long have I been out? You have to call Florida for me now!"

"Edward, Edward…shhhhh…shhhhh….", Bella was stroking my face as I quieted a little, "They're out of the house. The police in Florida have them all at a safe house now. It's a nice place, Ben told me. I called them on your cell. They're fine. Katie is fine."

I felt all the air rush out of my chest then…I relaxed and let my clutching fingers loosen from around Bella's arms. And I felt tears in my eyes.

"Shhhh….", she kept stroking my face with both her hands as I closed my eyes, slowly calming down, "Nothing is going to happen to her, Edward, I promise. She is safe. She's not even afraid. Ben even said they would take her to DisneyWorld today or tomorrow."

"Victoria said...if I ever left, they'd…they'd get her…", I hated how weak I sounded but even though Victoria was gone, her family wasn't. For years, threats of harm coming to Katie kept me at Victoria's side. And it still scared the shit out of me.

"No.", Bella put her forehead to mine, "Those were lies, Edward. Lies to keep you her slave. She knew where your heart was. And she used that. No one is going after Katie. No one will hurt her. You'll be with her again…very soon. Don't be afraid, Edward."

Don't be afraid. I didn't know how to do that. Would I ever feel safe? Wouldn't I, even if I was living with Katie, hate it every time she went out to play, every time she goes to a friend's house, every time she goes to school…I'd be afraid, staring out the doorway until she came back. And if she were ever late getting home? Christ! I'd lose my mind.

Victoria's gone. But the fear isn't. The threat isn't. The danger isn't. Her family will want revenge. James will want revenge. He could make a phone call from prison and men would be after us. It was then that I realized I couldn't go to Florida. We can't live there. We have to run. We have to live somewhere else. Somewhere no one could trace us. Mars didn't seem like it was far away enough for me at this point.

'Just rest now, okay?", Bella's voice asked gently, moving the blanket up around my neck, "Everything will be alright."

"The only time I ever felt safe was when I was doing what Victoria wanted.", I confessed, "I knew then that she wouldn't hurt Katie."

"That life is over now, Edward.", she stated firmly, looking me right in the eye, her hand holding my chin, "It's just over. Don't look back right now. We'll talk about it. But not until you're better…and out of here. I mean, you're going to have to look back there again and again so you'll heal. We will talk about it, all the time. To not talk about it is to repress it and that then it'll never go away. But today, I want you to relax."

I let out a breath and already I felt stronger. Bella always gave me new faith and air so I could keep on going, when I thought it was impossible a moment ago.

Then I thought to ask it.

"How's Charlie?", I asked, still worrying. I had a feeling of total dread that she'd tell me he died or something. I studied her face closely as she answered me.

Sadness. Pain.

"He's alright.", she answered curtly, trying to smile a little, "He's going to be fine."

"Don't, Bella.", I held her hand, "Tell me."

She stiffened and cleared her throat. She didn't cry, though. She held it back.

"He…he…lost his leg.", she said quickly, "He landed on it when he fell. It was completely shattered, the doctor said."

I felt like all the air had been sucked out of my body. I pictured Charlie without his leg and it physically hurt me inside.

So much for resting today.

"And before you start, Edward," Bella looked at me, raw bravery in her eyes, "This is no one's fault but Victoria's. I was blaming myself, too, until Emmett pointed some things out to me. First, Charlie is and always will be…a cop. He knows everyday that he risks his life for others. He wanted to help you…and me. He knew there were dangers. He saved your life and Emmett's…and mine, too. I know he wouldn't regret anything he did last night. So you're not allowed to, either. Guilt kills, Edward. Let Dr. Bella tell you, it's a useless emotion that can cripple you. So we're not even going to go there. Got it?"

I didn't answer for a moment but looked down at her hand holding mine, the IV needle and tape staring back at me.

"Got it, Cullen?", she jerked my face up so I was looking at her again.

"Got it.", I said solemnly, wishing I were as tough as she was.

Maybe, in time, after lots of therapy, I could be like Bella. Or maybe not. But I would try my best to be worthy of this woman. And Katie.

I almost wanted to have a session right then with Dr. Bella, but didn't think she was up for it right now. She looked tired and sad…and I knew she'd been through Hell in the last ten hours. She needed to rest more than I did.

I moved myself over in my bed and opened the blanket to her. I needed to take care of her now, just as she had always taken care of me. She needed me now.

"Come here, Bambi.", I whispered, peeking down at myself, hoping I wasn't still wearing my leather thong. I wasn't. I was naked beneath the hospital gown and I don't think it was tied in back, either. I didn't care. I always slept nude, anyway. I almost moved to take the gown off myself but didn't think it was right at the moment to snuggle up against her naked. I didn't want her to think this was a sexual thing. I wanted to comfort her. I wanted to hold her and kiss her until she fell asleep in my arms. I had waited for so long to hold her like this again. Three whole days. It's a lifetime without Bella.

I actually got a little smile then. And she crawled up into the bed with me.

She let out a ragged breath as she snuggled into me, my hand curling the nice soft blanket around her shoulder. My arms both brought her closer to me and I stroked her hair, laying her head down against my chest, making sure to avoid the bandages they had wrapped me in.

"Mmmmm…" I laid my chin on her head, half laying on the pillow, too. The smell of her hair was still a faint strawberry, "I missed this…so much. I don't ever want to sleep without you again."

"I can't sleep without you.", she answered, "I haven't really slept since you left."

"Awww…", I felt a tiny pain deep inside and I held her tighter, kissing her hair, "Well I'm here now. Let's sleep."

She sighed, content for now.

I couldn't see her face but I was guessing she wasn't going to do this without a fight.

"One thing.", I said, slipping my arm out of my hospital gown, "I sleep naked, always. Got a problem with that?"

I carefully moved the gown off my hurt arm as Bella helped me and she giggled, tossing it over her shoulder.

"Absolutely not.", she replied without a bit of hesitation. In fact, there was a little sexiness in her smirk.

I thought maybe Bella would get naked, too, like she did in her apartment that first night, but she didn't. I was glad. I didn't mean for anything to happen here in the hospital bed, but I hated the stink of the hospital gown. And, even though I hated to admit it, I was used to sleeping in the nude. Maybe, someday, I'd be used to nice pajamas.

Stay down, Frankencock. Not now. And he listened to me! For once, he stayed down. Good boy!

"Close your eyes.", I said quietly, my fingers stroking over her eyelids as she obeyed me.

"I don't stink, do I?", I asked, hoping I didn't have that hospital odor.

She laughed, giving me the best prize I could've asked for.

"No, you smell great.", she kissed my throat, "Even in the hospital clothes, you smelled great. How do you do that?"

"Pure magic.", I chuckled, "Now hush. Time to sleep."

I smiled, feeling so alive and complete now that I was holding her again. This felt so right, so wonderful. I swore I'd never let her go again. Even if she wanted to go, I would always be with her. In any way I could be. Even if that means stalking her wherever she decides to go.

God, I need therapy.

A moment or two had passed and I closed my eyes, just listening to her breathe. Her hot little exhaled air kept tickling my lower neck but that just made me feel more peaceful…more at ease. Bella is with me. In my arms.

It's then that I finally realized it.

I never have to dance in a cage again. I never have to deliver a pizza again. (At least not with the knowledge that I'd be raped by my customer.) I never have to be tied up again, or gagged. Unless, of course, Bella wants to play with me. I wouldn't mind that. But then I doubted Bella would ever want to do that to me, her being as kind and sensitive as she is.

"I love you.", she whispered, kissing my neck and snuggling her face into it. I loved the feel of her on my skin.

Without a word, I decided I had to kiss her. I wanted those lips. I cupped under her chin with my finger and lifted her mouth to mine, placing a very soft, wet kiss there. I didn't make it too sexual. No tongues. This was a kiss that would say I love you. Then my voice decided to utter the words.

"I love _you_.", I responded, as naturally as breathing. I never felt such a certainty about anything else, besides loving my daughter with all I had…until now. I love Bella. I will always love Bella.

She cuddled into me again and my heart began to thump harder in my chest. We fit together so perfectly, like we were born together, as one and split apart, only to wander the earth in search of each other, to be one again.

"Sleep now.", I stroked her hair a little longer, hoping she'd listen and try to get some peace at last. Her eyes did look very exhausted, although lovely.

We laid like that for hours. The nurse didn't even try to come in and take her away from me and I was grateful. Maybe Lady Luck is finally liking me for once. Maybe she's ready to give me a chance and dance with me. Slow dance, please. I never want to grind my hips again. I don't dance that way anymore.

I tried to sleep as Bella was but every now and then questions would pop up into my head.

What am I going to do now? Be a cashier again? How am I going to explain the big 6 year gap in my employment history on a job interview? I'm 26 years old and I have no skills at all. Maybe I could be a waiter. I still wasn't sure what town we'd be moving to, so I couldn't really think of my job opportunites at the moment. It can't be some little town where there were no jobs to be found.

I finally did drift off to sleep after I made myself stop worrying for now. My shoulder, where the wound was, didn't hurt at all yet and I was glad the pain killers were still working. I'm glad they didn't make me all goofy, too. I didn't want to be acting all stupid while Bella was still hurting. I didn't want to be a burden to her, ever.

Then I thought of Charlie again. He'd be sure to hate me now. Almost as much as I hated myself for putting him into the whole situation in the first place.

Not that he loved me before last night's events. Would that mess things up between Bella and I? No. I decided not to let it. I would work extra hard to earn Charlie's friendship. I'd make him forgive me, somehow. I would carry him everywhere if it would make things alright between us.

Would he go back to Forks? Would he think of coming with us? If we did the witness protection thing, he and Bella could come with Katie, Ben, Angela and I to wherever they'd send us. He'd have to. I couldn't think of Bella leaving Charlie behind, and he'd never know where she was or be able to see or talk to her again. I can't let Bella lose her father because of me, too. She would resent me, in time. He would have to come with us.

Then I thought of Katherine and Joseph. And something inside me began to hurt some more. I just got back in contact with them. I couldn't just vanish now. I thought of myself telling them…that I'd never be able to see them again. Katherine…her heart would break. She'd never accept it. She wouldn't let me go. Knowing her, she'd rather load up with weapons and hunt every man in Victoria's family before she'd allow me to just disappear. Joseph had a very quiet way, Katherine's exact opposite. He would look sad and hug me, wishing me well, and that would hurt me just as much as Katherine's protests.

One thing is for sure. We're not out of the woods yet. But the wolf is dead. Now we just had to find our way out of the darkness. Good thing I have light. Bella is my light. With her, I knew I'd be alright.

We can do this. I can make this work. I swore with my whole heart that I would.

I felt Bella's leg curl over both of mine and it was like a drug had been shot into my IV. I felt a calming magic flowing through my veins….and again, I fell asleep, smiling…laying with my angel.

We will be okay. I know we will.

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BPOV

I was finally allowed to see Charlie. I don't know why but I was so afraid, entering his room. What would I say? Should I just hug him? Would he let me? What if he pushed me away?

Edward was fine at the moment. After our nap, I went and got him his cherry icee, which he went absolutely nuts over when I snuck it into his room. I got big hugs and kisses for that. I also brought him his nightshirt, the one I'd bought him when I changed Rule number one, along with his nice flannel pajama pants. As much as I loved his naked body, I didn't want the nurses gawking at him.

He is mine. No other eyes will ever see that stunning body of his again. Only mine.

He was so happy when I dressed him and put the straw to his lips, watching him suck up the thick, cold cherry juice. He is so easy to please. Giving him this icee today, he'd acted like I just gave him a new Ferrari. And it wasn't fake, either. He genuinely loved it. Any act of affection or kindness to him was rare and more precious than oxygen. I would make him get used to it. I promised to make his days full of these little I love yous that didn't have to be spoken with words.

My mouth fell open while he sucked harder. I could watch that all day.

God, I need help.

I knocked on the door very timidly and after a little pause, I heard his gruff voice.

"Come in.", Charlie said, no pleasure at all in his tone.

I swallowed, took a breath and forced my hand to pull open the door, stepping in.

I stood there, as if I were a stranger. I noticed just as I entered, Charlie tossed a white pillow over his leg…or…where his leg should've been. I was afraid to look there so I didn't, right now. Then I felt bad for not being stronger for him. He needed me, too, now.

I looked at my father's face instead of his legs and I saw a look of shame and almost embarrassment there. I didn't understand that. He had no reason to be ashamed. That's supposed to be my face now, not his.

I thought he'd look angry or hate me and that I'd see that in his eyes. Instead he softened his gaze and gave me a little smile.

"Hi Bells.", he said, the affection and care still in his voice as he greeted me.

I burst out, crying, and I ran to him, throwing my arms around his neck, my tears already wetting his green hospital gown. His face was stubbly but I didn't care. I just sobbed and clung to him…and his arms hugged me back, his mouth placing a single kiss on my head.

"Come on, now.", he finally said, his voice low and deep as he quickly rubbed my back, "None of that stuff, now. I'm fine. Turn off the water works."

That's Charlie all over. He hates attention. And he hates when I cry, too, just like Edward.

I straightened up, standing at his side, the tears all over my face as I wiped them, using my sweatshirt sleeve to dry my eyes.

He sighed.

"Shit happens.", he said with a tone of finality, "Serves me right for wishing I could have some action. Careful what you wish for, I guess."

My voice cracked more than once and it was high pitched, like a five year old's.

"I'm so sorry, Daddy.", I blubbered, just like a naughty kid. Then I sobbed some more as Charlie rolled his eyes.

"Hey.", Charlie cut my crying jag off right away and I halted, looking at him through my watery pupils, "Enough. I'm alive. You're alive. I got what I prayed for. I have to be more particular next time I make a deal with God. I forgot to throw in, let me keep all my body parts."

That was my Dad's attempt at a joke, believe it or not.

I saw his dry smile and I had to smile myself, laughing through my tears.

"That's my girl.", he smiled a little more, the bravest and strongest man I'd ever known. God damn it, how I respected him now.

I was wiping my eyes some more when he asked me, "How's everyone? They told me everyone made it out alright."

"Oh.", I took a deep breath, "Yea. Emmett's here, he's fine. Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, they're all fine, too."

I almost told him about Edward but wasn't sure if he wanted to hear it or not. I was afraid how he'd feel about Edward now.

"And…", he waited, raising his brows, "How's Edward?"

"Fine.", I shivered, "He lost some blood but Emmett donated his. He's awake and he's…good. He's already his old self again."

Old self. I've known him for two weeks.

"Good.", he answered, looking towards the window to his left.

Dr. Bella crept back inside me suddenly and I dared to ask.

"How do you feel about him now, Dad?", I was appalled at my guts, "Do you hate him?"

He let out a long sigh and I stared at the black hairs on his arm, afraid to make eye contact.

"No, Bella, I don't hate him.", he said blankly, "He took a bullet for you. I can never hate him. I chose to help. I wanted to help him. I'm a cop. That's my job. I just have some shit to deal with now. I guess God decided I'd been bored for too long. He decided to throw me some new curves. That's life, Bella. I'd rather be missing a leg…than to watch you throw a rose into a hole, crying over that kid."

I blinked and new tears fell out and I couldn't talk for a minute. My throat felt blocked.

"I love you, Daddy.", I croaked the words out, sniffling and wiping my eyes.

"I love you, Baby.", he said, full of tenderness.

I reached out and held his hand and it gripped mine firmly.

"I'm going back to Forks, as soon as these yahoos let me outta here." Charlie informed, not one to beat around the bush.

I felt my brows crease as I thought over what he was saying. Too many questions came to mind to even list them all but I never got time to sort them all out.

"I want you to come with me, Bella.", he stated out flatly, looking straight ahead, into nothingness.

I felt like I was just slapped across the face. He wanted me to go with him. How could I say no now? What about school? Edward?

"I'm not going into any witness protection program.", he continued, each word killing me more, "I'm a cop, the chief of police. I don't need to hide. I know how to protect myself. I can protect you, too, Bella. I want you with me."

Flabbergasted, I heard my voice stumbling as I tried to vocalize.

"Dad…", I huffed, sniffling, then, "I…you….I have school here. I've made a life here…I can't just---why would you…"

"There's a college in Forks.", Charlie informed, still staring anywhere but in my eyes, "And frankly, I think you've learned a little too much here in New York. For God's sake, Bella, your teacher almost kidnapped you! He chained you up and--- This is a sick town. A sick life. Even Edward said so when he told me to take you home. He even wants a better life for you than this."

"That was before!", I felt the hot tears coming hard now, "He loves me! I love him! After all we went through the other night…we can finally be together now. I said I wouldn't leave him. We were all supposed to do witness protection together!"

I sounded pathetic, like a sixteen year old girl, but I couldn't help it. My feelings were coming out, as honestly and purely as possible. My father's face looked so cold now…only moments ago he was loving me and smiling at me. I hated him. A deep primal part of me hated him for trying to stand between Edward and I. But at the same time, I couldn't hate him. He saved Edward. He saved Emmett. He lost his leg, his life…for them…for me. How could I deny him anything at this point?

He knew I couldn't. And that's why he was asking. How could I say yes to him?

"If you go into witness protection, with him…", Charlie said, his voice and face like stone, "I can never see you again. You will never see me again. This program is for life, Bella. You'll marry him, have kids together…and I'll never get to see them…ever. I'll die never knowing what happened to you…alone."

I cried and turned away from him and then spun back, fierce and loud.

"Why ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!", I scream/cried at him, then quieted, weeping, "How can you make me choose? I can't! It's not fair, Dad, this isn't FAIR!"

"Life isn't fair, Bella.", Charlie showed no emotion still, "I taught you that a long time ago. We lost Mom when you were ten. That wasn't fair but it happened. I don't want to lose you now. You're all I've got."

I sobbed and went to the window, just staring out at the cars and grass and sky as I cried, seeing Edward's face staring back into mine.

"I'm sorry, Bella.", he said after a few minutes of letting me have my cry, "I don't want to hurt you. I want you happy. He won't make you happy, Bella. He can't. As much as he may want to, and mean well, and love you…and I believe he does…but…he's…broken. I see that every day. He's been through Hell and back and through Hell again. He's dark, Bella. He's lived in that world for so long, he's used to it. He can't just walk out and be normal now. You know it, too, being a psychology student. Tell me I'm wrong."

I panted, hating every word he was saying. I could never agree with him. This is Edward he's talking this way about. I wanted to hurt him. Like he was hurting me now, not just a physical hurt…but a deeper one.

Being a cop had made Charlie hard, and he stopped believing that people could change and have a second chance.

But then I realized, he lost my mother to breast cancer. He'd already been hurt so deeply, where the lover inside him lived…and was gone forever now. I couldn't believe he'd let me take the same loss as he'd suffered. He was never the same after Mom died…and I would be forever changed without Edward.

"I fix broken, Dad. That's what I do!", I said, almost sneering as I stared out into the setting sun.

Twilight. Where Edward had had his epiphany on the boat…where he decided to change his life and fight back, despite the dangers. Where he became strong. I prayed for that same strength now.

"Fixing people is supposed to be your career, not your love life.", Charlie pointed out, "And you're still only a student. You're not good enough yet to fix him and his problems. He needs a real doctor now, Bella. You shouldn't be playing at this. Mess up and the consequences could be fatal…for him…and you."

"He would never hurt ME!", I flared and faced him again.

"Bella, I've SEEN it!!", he shouted, "Depressed people cling onto someone – ANYONE – just so long as they can get their faces above water! They don't even think about how they're yanking you down under it!! When his problems become too heavy, when he fails at making it in the normal world, he'll snap. He'll be heartbroken. He loves you because he thinks you have his cure! He feels healthy with you. And why not, every other woman he knows has only hurt and used him. It's not real love for him, Bella. I doubt he even knows what real love is anymore. He fell for you because he believes you can fix him. And when you can't, he might decide to take you with him, like Victoria almost did to him !"

"You DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM!" I screamed, "He's the most gentle person I've ever known!!"

"I'm not talking about sex, Bella.", Charlie clenched his jaw, "And yes, I did hear about Mr. Gentle tying you to a stool and spanking you. Jesus H. Christ, I bought you those stools, Bella!"

I cringed, confused.

"What do you want, your money back or something?", I asked as he frowned more at me.

"Look.", I took a breath, "I'm a woman now, Dad. A grown woman. I have sex. I make love. There is nothing wrong with that. Sex is not dirty…and orgasms aren't a crime. Edward taught me that. And I'm glad. I'm not going to be made to feel dirty because I chose to make love to Edward. That's our business, not yours."

"You can't marry the very first person who makes love to you, Bella.", Charlie turned red as he said this, "You're so young. You should grow some more, your tastes will change as you mature more. You'll outgrow him. I don't want to talk badly of him, but he showed you a few new tricks. He made you feel things…for the first time. That's why you feel you love him. But there's more to marriage than great sex. There's so much more. Being with him can only end in disaster. Please listen to me, Bella. I know you. I've known you your whole life. It's going to hurt, leaving him, I know. First love always hurts."

"No.", I turned away, trying not to listen, the tears flowing full on now.

"You've never even had your heart broken yet. It's part of growing up. But, in time, you'll heal.", Charlie spoke softer now, "You'll make new friends, good ones. You'll even fall in love again."

"Stop it Dad.", I cried, my voice cracking everywhere.

"I know it seems impossible to you now, but it's true.", Charlie vowed, "You can find a nice boy in Forks. Have your degree. Have your own office. Have a nice family. You won't have to glue your husband together all the time and hope he stays in one piece. You'll have enough of that pressure on you when you are a doctor. You won't want that in your home life, your love life."

I closed my eyes and didn't even want to picture a life without Edward in it. I felt sick.

"Let me put it this way, Bella.", Charlie said, the empty voice back again, "I lost my leg. I am going back to Forks. It's my home. It's our home. I need you to go with me. I need you, Bella. Please…I…don't know if I can do this alone."

My father's voice cracked. It never cracked. I turned to him, seeing for the first time, fear in his dark eyes. This wasn't only about me choosing Edward or leaving him…he was afraid. And he needed me. He never told me that before.

I shivered, staring at the moving cars in the parking lot out the window…I clutched onto the curtains…and I felt so cold. So alone.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

See next chapter soon!

Love

WinndSinger

PS How much do you hate Charlie right now? LOL…I know, I do, too.


	36. Don't Change

36

BPOV

"Alright, hold onto me…", I said as I led Edward into my apartment lobby, making him put his good arm around my shoulder, wishing he'd lean on me more as we ignored the mailbox and neared the stairs.

"Bella, my legs are fine.", he chuckled, "Not that I don't like this."

He leaned his head on me and smiled, nuzzling and kissing my cheek with this wonderful, deep kiss. God, I felt that in my toes!

I laughed, feeling so damn good that I was bringing him back home.

"You don't want your mail?", Edward pointed his finger at the mailbox wall with the hand that was over my shoulder.

I smiled at him and a devilish little smile rested on those shiny wet lips of his.

"Baby steps.", I reminded, "You just got out of the hospital, Thumper. If you tried to attack me now, I think you'd only hurt yourself."

He whined like a kid denied candy. We began our ascent up the stairs and, being the little punk he is, he was making sure both feet were on each step as we climbed up, doing real baby steps, his smile waiting for me to react.

"I heard the Thumper story, by the way.", I grinned, raising a brow.

"Oh God!", Edward winced, turning a light shade of pink. He blushes?

"It was very interesting.", I teased, "Even the non X rated parts."

"Note to self:", he slowly kept up his baby steps on the stairs, "Erase the Thumper story from Bella's brain."

"I can just see you…doing your thing with those little ears on your head.", I leaned in closer and kissed his neck, up under his ear and earned his soft moan at that.

"Emmett put them on me.", he informed, "I was chained up so I couldn't take them off."

"I heard the story.", I said, trying to forget the sexual parts. I loathed thinking of Emmett vs. Edward in a fucking contest on Halloween night. It'd been Victoria's warped idea of fun, pitting her two favorites against each other, lines of clients and women friends of hers waiting their turn. Ten bucks you can't guess who won that little challenge.

Yes, Frankencock rules! But, since Edward was wearing these cute little bunny ears the whole time, the women started calling him Thumper, a double meaning. His ears weren't the only reason he got his name, I'm sure.

I think that's when Victoria might've started to favor Edward over Emmett. It seems, according to Emmett, that there were a bunch of these little competitions she put them both through. Even Emmett told me in the waiting room, Edward was a machine. He always won. Yet he was never a bad winner. He was always kind, always a friend, Emmett added.

"My life was so gross before you.", he said, not with any sadness, but with a glad voice, "This Halloween we'll go trick or treating with Katie. I can't wait for that. Maybe you can be a little bunny this time."

I smiled, liking that picture. He kissed me on the lips as we were almost at the top of the stairs.

"A white little bunny…with a puffy cotton tail.", he kept visualizing. Men.

I sensed his lower parts were alive and well, and not feeling the effects of the gunshot wound at all. In fact, after a couple days of no play at all, I feared Frankencock would pounce the second we got inside my apartment.

Well…I didn't FEAR…just hoped.

"And what will you be?", I asked, picturing him in a wolf costume, taking me from behind in the forest. Or maybe a hunter?

"Hmmmm….", he was pondering, "I don't know…maybe I'll do something different this year and just be myself, whoever that is."

He kissed me again and my stomach felt so light and fluffy.

"I love that idea.", I approved, "I can't think of a sexier outfit than that."

"Bella Swan…", he smiled and was kissing me again, my lips moving against his full force, "I think you're trying to seduce me."

"Not yet.", I opened my mouth and licked my tongue lightly onto his, "Wait til we get inside."

"Mmmm…", he kissed between words, "What….are you…going to do….to me?"

"Oh, it's going to be terrible…", I grabbed his t-shirt and twisted it in my fist, leading him to my door, my lips opening and closing over his sweet, sugary mouth.

"You'll fight like an animal, but…", I kissed him again, "You won't escape me…"

"I can't fight all that hard.", he let me back him into the door as I fully French kissed him now, "I'm so weak and helpless."

He moved his injured shoulder and I grabbed his neck hard, moving his face to the right as I had my way with his muscular neck, licking and biting…kissing and sucking.

"Fuck!", Edward panted, letting his duffle bag hit the floor as his hands took off on their own now.

His fingers clutched at my denim ass cheeks, and we kissed like savages, not coming up for air even. Then he was rubbing roughly over my jeans between my legs and I let out a loud yelp, I had been without those fingers for too long.

I opened my legs more and rubbed myself against his jeans, feeling a thick, hard rod there.

Edward winced and hissed as I broke our kiss only for a moment so I could place my nose on the other side of his, kissing with new vigor.

We weren't even in the door yet. My keys were in my purse and I had no intention of getting them now.

His fingers were desperate and began to undo my jeans button, and I think he broke the zipper as he yanked my jeans apart there, shoving them down off my butt. My panties were still on but not for long. He made another sound of displeasure and yanked them down, too, muttering something about "not one piece of underwear will be left when I'm done".

"Bella…", he kissed me again as I showed no shame or tried to hide my naked parts in the hall, in front of my door. No one would come up here, as my apartment was the only one on this floor. And if someone did come up, I didn't really care. I needed Edward now. And I'm not ashamed.

"Gimme.", I tugged at his jeans now, undoing them as fast as I could.

Edward whimpered, watching me and enjoying the feeling of me yanking his pants off. I was ready to make a comment about his underwear in return but there was no underwear. I secretly thanked whatever angel it was for not letting me snag Edward's skin in the zipper when I tugged it down so viciously. I'd have to make a mental note of his fetish for not wearing undies. I'd have to be more careful in the future.

Now that the air touched his cock he moaned out loud, relieved and aroused to the fullest.

He sank down the door and sat on his ass, bringing my hips to him as I straddled the tall pillar of flesh and muscle that was calling to me.

I looked at the bare flesh there and felt my whole body flush with heat. I'm sure I was blushing and I didn't care.

"Bella…", he kissed me, ready to do me right there in front of my locked door.

Maybe he thought I was hesitating because we were in the hallway. That wasn't it. I felt excited about us doing it right here, so close to people in the middle of the afternoon.

"Fuck me, Bella….fuck me, please…", he whispered, begging for me. I couldn't believe it. He was pleading for me? What lottery in heaven or hell did I win?

Maybe he forgot.

"Edward…", I kissed him harder, "You forgot…your condom."

In a haze of lust, he kept kissing me and moaned, "Do you want me to use one? I will if you do…"

I was confused.

"Don't you always use them?", I kissed him, "You said…what do you want, Edward?"

I always had to pull it out of him, his wants. He was always asking me if it's alright, what I wanted. I had to make him voice his own wants and desires. That's when we'd start to know who Edward Cullen really is.

"I don't wanna use one.", he said like a little boy as he reached his tongue into my mouth, closing his lips over it, "I want to feel you. I don't want anything between us…once…just once…but I understand if you don't feel safe."

"I am on birth control.", I shared, happy he came right out and told me what he wanted. He is making progress. And he thinks I wouldn't feel safe making love to him with no condom. He has been with lots of sick women. But, stupid as it may sound, I felt perfectly safe. And only with Edward would I just throw caution to the wind to be with him the way he wanted. I want it, too.

He waited for me to decide and tell him. I loved him even more for that.

"I want you inside me…", I grunted as our kiss intensified, his hands clutching my hair, "I want to feel you, too. Your hot cock…."

I didn't get to finish my sentence.

Edward groaned and devoured my mouth then, hurting my hair with his urgency but that just made me even more hot and wet as he tickled the back of my teeth with that tongue of his.

Then I felt the tip of his head against my clit, and I grinded myself harder into it, moving up and down before he entered me. Edward moaned and opened his eyes as he kissed me, asking again if it was alright.

I decided to take charge here and do what he begged me to do. Fuck him.

"Yes, I'm gonna fuck you hard.", I clutched his shirt again and forced him to me, grabbing his neck again as he breathed harder, his rock hard dick throbbing and jerking as his eyes looked into mine, so full of desire and want.

I grabbed the shaft of his cock and he bit back a shout as I moved it slowly up and down, teasing him.

He had gone awhile without this and I knew it was killing him. He whimpered like a little puppy and that drove me wild.

"Please, please, please, please….", he whispered, closing his eyes, digging his fingers into my ass, coaxing me towards him.

I hated sounding like Victoria but I was caught up in the moment and hoped I wasn't making a mistake here.

"Mine.", I said as I played with his warm, thick cock.

"Yes…yes….yes…", he whimpered, opening his eyes and showing me he was not put off by my word. He wanted to be mine. He knew I wouldn't abuse that, as so many others had in the past. I didn't need chains and whips to make him mine. I used love to hold him to me. The most powerful chains of all.

"Yes.", he gave a little nod, obviously liking this so far.

"Yes.", I repeated, a good word.

I placed my ready, wet lips onto his head and he clenched his jaw, growling from the sensation of it. I waited a second…taking in that perfect face…all the emotions there that I was causing in him. Me, Bella Swan…the nose-in-her-book virgin nobody ever noticed. I was driving Edward Cullen wild. He was begging for me, dieing for me.

I drove myself down, impaling him into me without mercy.

"UUUUHHHHHHH!!!!", Edward screamed out at this, his eyes huge and staring up at me in shock, the whole length of him vanished inside me as I sat there, loving the feeling of his flesh inside mine…no condom…this was exhilarating and so much more intense. I felt like I could feel a couple of the veins in him as I tightened my muscles around him a couple of times.

After all, Edward hadn't been with a woman without a condom for years, with the exception of Victoria. But I didn't count her. Surely, this would be special and new for him, too.

"UUUGGGHHH….GOD DAMN IT!!", he slammed his sneaker to the floor a couple of times as his fingers clutched harder into my butt cheeks. It felt like he wanted to move me up and down on him but he restrained himself. He was letting me do this.

"Patience, Thumper.", I toyed a little bit, squeezing together one more time as he tried to hold in a scream, biting down on his bottom lip with force.

"Bella…", he breathed, closing his eyes.

"Hold on.", I couldn't do it to him anymore, he was so utterly beautiful, suffering this way. I had to put him out of his misery.

And I began moving up and down, coming down hard, our flesh slapping each time they found each other. I was moaning and panting for breath, loving the feeling of this high I was experiencing…and watching Edward while I did him…was…unbelievable. His face could do some pretty awesome things while he's being fucked. Not to mention his noises.

It sounded like he was almost in pain, but then his groans added into those sounds and it was a very erotic song to my ears as I bounced harder, hearing him cry out as he thrust his hips up now as I was coming down. Now I was yelling, too.

"Every body okay up there?", some man called out from downstairs.

I almost laughed at Edward's face.

"Yes, fine!", I called down and smiled at my angel, putting my hand over his open mouth, clasping it shut, "So fine."

I added that last part, looking into his eyes, complimenting what I saw there. He is the finest thing I had ever seen…or felt…or heard.

"MMMMMM", he closed his eyes and hummed under my fingers as I kept going. In seconds, Edward wasn't sitting up against my door anymore, he was laying down on his back, I guess tired of the back of his head hitting the door every time I came down on him.

Yes, baby, that's it. Close your eyes and let me fuck you good. Move those hips…God, yes!! Oh, you are an alien, Edward, do you know that? No human man could be like this.

It looked like Edward really enjoyed having my hand over his mouth and I felt his tongue lapping my fingers from beneath them. I didn't mind. I, too, had enjoyed being captured and gagged by rapist Edward that day in my apartment. I was not going to analyze him now. Just enjoy him.

I love the sound of his ass hitting the wooden floor below each time he withdraws his thrust. And it was fucking thrilling – doing it right in the hallway on the floor, even hotter when someone had called out to us, hearing our noises.

I was getting close to coming now and I knew I could keep fucking him even if I did, but then I heard him growling under my hand and his hips bucked with more ferocious need. It will be soon for Edward. I recognized those growls. Edward became a rabid dog when in the throws of orgasm.

I decided to talk dirty again, he liked that, especially from shy, innocent little me.

"You think you're gonna cum soon?", I asked coyly, "Is that what you think?"

Whimpering and growling…good.

"Why should I let you cum?", I asked, keeping my hand tight over those lips while I kept slamming up and down on him.

Then he playfully pointed to his bandages that laid bulky under his t-shirt. And a little chuckle mixed in with is moans and growls.

I smirked, liking how nothing was ever off limits with him. He was always the first to joke about himself, even if it wasn't that funny to others.

"Oh, I see.", I played along, "You got hurt for me and you think you're entitled to cum, huh?"

He nodded and was losing control over the dog rising up in his throat. I wondered how long he could hold it back if he had to. But I didn't want to play Victoria games with him, I just wanted to be sexy and in control…without going too far into her wicked territory. It was a fine line…I had to be careful never to cross, even in play.

"You have a good point.", I felt myself sweating as I kept my pace quick, "Alright, cum. Cum inside me."

I liked the image of his little semen guys being able to flow inside me for the first time, instead of being trapped in a plastic cocoon.

Yes, I saw Look Who's Talking and loved that part in the beginning. Sue me.

Edward roared out, despite my hand holding his open mouth, and exploded the second I told him to. He was holding it for a little while. Why that turns me on, I'm not sure, but it did.

I felt hot melty liquid inside me and that's when I shut my own mouth and cried out with my own orgasm, too. I didn't realize it, but I'd been holding mine back also. It feels so much better when you restrain it then let it go. Wow.

"I think someone is hurt up there.", the man's voice was saying from below again, to someone else down there, "I'm going up for a sec."

Shit!

Edward's eyes opened and stared up at me in shock as footsteps started to come up the stairs.

I turned, still on top of Edward, and zipped open my purse, getting the keys. Thank God they were right on top. They're usually buried at the bottom and I have to go digging for them. I reached up and fumbled with the key, opening the door, and somehow standing and dragging Edward in, sliding his ass on the floor, using his good arm to reel him in, slamming the door seconds before anyone reached the top of the steps.

I held a hand to my chest for a second, locking the door twice from inside as Edward laid on his back on the linoleum floor, howling with laughter as he stared at the back of my ass, my jeans and panties around my knees as I stood over him.

"What's so funny now?", I asked, then burst out laughing, too. He is so fucking cute when he laughs like that. I remembered that day I almost went out with my robe on. He was doing the exact same thing then as he is now. Only now he was half naked, his cock wet and glistening as he held his stomach, enjoying his fit of giggles.

I laid on my back at his side, my own sides splitting as I belly laughed right along with him. It was as if we'd never left this place…even if only for a moment. We had no worries, nothing in our way, only each other…no cares in the world. It was glorious and I knew it wouldn't last long…but I enjoyed the moment anyway.

"Are you hurt?", I asked him, concerned as I got on my knees and pulled my shirt up and off my head, tossing it across the room as I unhooked my bra in front, letting my breasts loose as his eyes looked up at me, appearing a bit drowsy as he took me in.

"Yes.", he said, out of breath, "Very. The pain is…excruciating."

I'm sure he would've tried to take off his shirt if it weren't for his wound. But instead, he moved it up so it was just pooled under his chin. He laid there as I stood up, kicking off my sneakers and sliding my jeans and panties off.

I took the panties and folded them so the crotch was sticking out in a rectangle.

"Where does it hurt, sweet cock?" I made him up a new nickname.

He smiled at that and moved his finger over his right nipple.

"Here.", he informed quietly.

"Awww….", I stuck the panties in his mouth, not too far in, but enough.

He moaned and took them in without hesitation, and closed his lips over the cotton, slightly sucking inside, tasting me…tasting what he'd done to me as we went up the stairs together.

"There's a lollipop for you while I take care of your boo boos.", I said lovingly as he stifled a little laugh.

I let my tongue dart out a couple times around his nipple as he sighed in contentment.

Then I lapped at it, my thick, wet tongue shoving it up and down, around in circles while his muffled moans embraced me.

I was kissing it, then, later, closing and opening my lips over it as it stood up stiffly, wet and warm.

"How's that feel now?", I asked, using my deep sexy voice.

He nodded quickly, his eyes opening and finding me a couple inches downward.

"Anything else hurt?"

He nodded, smiling as half my panties hung out of his clenched teeth.

What a little devil. My little devil. There's a good idea for a Halloween costume.

"What else hurts, baby?", I asked, deciding to spoil him rotten today and all night if he wanted.

Then he pointed to his other nipple and I couldn't help give another giggle.

"Oh, now this one hurts, huh?", I smirked as he nodded with more energy.

So I went over and gave extra loving care to that nipple as well. I even bit this one a little after I had it nice and licked.

Now Edward was growling a little. This wasn't the rabid dog yet. This was the sweet dog that was begging to go outside into the yard.

Okay, noted. Edward likes to be bitten.

And then, looking down, I saw Frankencock again. God, that was fast! He is an alien! And who's complaining?

No wonder Edward won that contest against Emmett.

"Something else hurt, hon?", I hovered right over his eyes this time.

He smiled and gave a slow nod now.

"I wonder what could be hurting you now.", I smiled and acted dumb, "Let me see if I can find it."

He gave a throaty laugh as I kissed every spot I adored on him from his chin, down under it,,,to his neck, the adam's apple…YUM….the hollow at the base of his neck…down his chest between his pecks…had to kiss all his ribs and the six pack..LOVE that place! And I made my way down to kiss both cuts of his pelvis. His ankles were still trapped in his jeans and sneakers and I liked that. No getting away for you, Thumper. Rabbits can jump so fast, you know.

"Uh oh…", I gasped, "I think I might have found something."

He laughed again, liking this game. I know I was loving it.

"What is this big thing?", I moved my fingers up and down it…making it slick and wet all over as he moaned and gave a little whimper.

"I don't have one of these.", I wondered aloud as he chuckled again, peeking down at me.

I remembered my lesson that Edward gave me on our first night together, when he didn't want to take me yet. When he wanted me to be comfortable and get to know his body, inside and out.

"Oh, wait, I think I remember.", I smiled more as he watched me.

"These are the balls.", I stroked and lightly squeezed the dark pink sack below Edward's penis as he groaned out loud, through my panties, his fists clenching near his face as he watched me explore.

I licked them and sucked them into my mouth, making them nice and wet as Edward nearly screamed, clenching his eyes tight, his back arching up as I made slobbery noises, not letting them leave my mouth as I sucked harder. I licked every inch of them, swirling my tongue on top and underneath.

"FUCK!! FUCK!!", he said through the panties, and slammed a fist to the floor at his side, almost gasping.

Note: Edward likes his balls sucked, too. Maybe too much. He sounds in pain. But I think he likes it. Frankencock just grew twice as big as it was before.

Taking my mouth off those, he panted and stared up at the ceiling as if his brain had shut off

"And….this is the head….", I recalled aloud, taking only the head into my mouth now, licking it wetly and curling my tongue around it hard while he kept hissing and growling, almost in protest, but not.

Sometimes it can hurt too good. Or feel so good that it hurts. Yea, that's it.

"Please…please….", he whispered, muffled by my panties.

Oh, am I teasing him ? Poor little thing. Well…not little.

"What?", I asked, ignorantly, "I'm just trying to find out what hurts so much…shhhh…let me find it."

"RRRRR…", Edward turned his head away, clenching his eyes again. Both his fists were back up over his head now…and one grabbed hold of his own hair.

"This big long thing…", I licked up once from bottom to top as he groaned.

"What's the name of this thing again?", I played, "I think I remember you telling me once…let me think…"

Edward was suffering so lovely again. I know it's horrible but his face is so damn sexy when it's like that.

"Um…the…schlong…?", I wondered, "No, that's not it."

"The…schmigeggy?", I guessed, "Nope…nope…"

He growled again, warning me. I almost laughed.

Payback would be a bitch when he got his turn against me. Oooh, see me quiver? Honestly, I did hope he'd get a little rough with me later. I had really enjoyed that.

"Oh wait wait!", I acted like it just came to me…"The…shaft?!"

I took it all into my mouth then, all the way in until it was resting at the back of my throat. I relaxed my throat, not wanting to gag. But then, men love it when they hear you gag on their cocks. At least, Edward does.

"UGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!", Edward yelled out as I stopped teasing him and let my mouth salivate all over him as he lay inside me. Before long, it was soaking wet inside my mouth and I spun my tongue around every inch of him, squeezing and releasing…lapping, nibbling very delicately.

Edward was nearly screaming by the time I was letting him fuck my mouth. I was moving up and down him fast and hot as he grabbed my hair and thrust his hips up and down with the stamina of ten men.

This was rough and I was secretly loving it. I love when he becomes a brute and makes me do things to please him.

He was snarling like a beast, grunting as he moved my head faster, his head striking the back of my throat occasionally, forcing the choking and gagging sound from me, the noises only making him more desperate to have me.

He growled out again, holding my head tight, my lips at the very base of his cock and his head even poking down my throat a bit as he came, the hot juice going right down without even gracing my tongue before it was gone.

A few seconds later, as Edward panted, trying to catch his breath, he began to stroke my hair instead of clutching it. His fingers moved along my face, over my eyebrows, smoothing over my closed eyelids as I kissed his inner thigh, opening my mouth and sucking the flesh there inside…biting down…sucking harder.

He did a sharp intake of breath and watched, but didn't stop me.

I know it's a teenage thing…but I'd never given a hickey before. It didn't seem right. But it did now. I wanted my mark on him, my name written right beside his beautiful penis, like an eternal star being trapped in the orbit of the moon. I wouldn't mind being that star, gazing at him for eons of time as worlds came and went below us…forever caught in his web…loving every minute of it.

I hoped he wouldn't get mad at me for doing this, I thought as I stopped, seeing an angry dark purple circle below me.

"I'm sorry.", I rubbed it with my fingers and Edward hissed.

"Are you kidding?", he asked, daring to take the panties out of his mouth, "That's the hottest thing. I want your marks, Bella. Do it again. On the other thigh."

He smiled and put the panties back into his teeth, almost like a cigar.

And he laid his head back and closed his eyes, wanting me to write my name all over him. That is the hottest thing.

He was looking down at me, admiringly, waiting for me to do it again.

I couldn't disappoint him. I licked up his other thigh, right beside his penis, and chose a spot while he moaned his sweet sounds to me. I opened my mouth and sucked the skin inside…wetting and licking….sucking…biting, harder this time.

He yelled out and arched his back again, panting, whispering, "Don't stop…don't fucking stop…oh, Bella…God!"

Finally, after a few more minutes, I had to stop. I think this mark is going to be almost black. It was a nice dark violet.

"Wow…", he was panting as I crawled up to lay my face on his chest, on the unhurt side of it. I kissed his nipple softly and he breathed it again, "Wow."

I snuggled in as his arm came around me, his fingers circling around my nipple.

"Tell me what you think of me.", I whispered, playing a little bit again, "It's okay…you can say it."

He smiled, taking the panties out of his mouth and laying them on his forehead, as if he needed to use them to wipe away the perspiration.

"You…are one hot bitch.", he breathed, "MY…hot bitch. Only mine. You make me crazy. My body burns for you. Just you. No one makes me feel like you do. I know it's not right…to say…after having sex…but…I love you, Bella. You bring me back to life. You make me real."

"I like you, too.", I giggled as he pinched my nipple in response while I struggled a little, squealing.

"You're …learning.", I hugged him closer to me, "When we met , you were such a virgin. But just look at you now."

He smiled and sucked his cheeks in a bit, his lips curling up into a wicked little bow.

"And you were such a little slut.", he came back brilliantly, "Taking off your shirt to make me eggs in the first ten minutes we knew each other! I was so disgusted I nearly kicked you right out! I thought, how am I gonna make this one into a proper young lady I can take home to Katherine?"

I was laughing so hard and he was, too.

"Omelete de Bella indeed!", he finished, giggling with me.

"And you're still a slut now.", he laughed and I bit his nipple as he held me against his warm, moist body, "You haven't learned a thing!"

We calmed down and quieted, relaxing in the dim light of the kitchen. It looked like maybe it was getting rainy outside, no sun was pouring in.

"Let's not try to change each other.", I kissed his chest, above the nipple this time.

I said that so he'd understand. I wouldn't be trying to change him to be some normal, respectable citizen over night. I want him to be the same sweet, fun, playful Edward I love…I just wanted to take the sadness out of his eyes, the downcast eyes had to go…but everything else…I wanted to keep it exactly the same.

"How about…I change for the better…", he said, "And you stay perfect, like you are right now."

"No, Edward.", I danced my fingers along his ribs, doing his mice skating thing on his skin, "I love you just as you are. The only thing I want you to change is the way you see yourself. Don't change. Just see all the beautiful things that I see."

"I'll have to talk to my therapist about that.", he smiled, both his arms, even his weaker one, wrapped around me.

We laid there for a long time, just being with each other, not talking. Just moving our hands over each other, studying every inch and curve, as if we'd been apart for 3 years, not days.

I refused to think of Charlie now. I refused to think of what I was going to do. Who I'd be going with. But as I thought of that, a tear escaped out of my right eye.

I wiped it fast and Edward didn't notice or see it. If he did, he never said anything about it. Which isn't like him. So I'm sure he didn't see.

"Bella?", Edward finally spoke, ending the silence.

"Yea?"

"Can we have a session tonight?", he asked, hopefully, "After I made you a nice dinner?"

I hope he's not still thinking he has to do all the cooking and cleaning.

"Can I help you make it?", I asked, just as hopefully, "You're not my servant, you know. I can make dinner sometimes."

"You can cook?"

No. Not really.

"Can I help you make it?", I repeated, hearing his laugh as I giggled, too.

"I thought so.", he said with a low voice, "Yes…you can help. I can teach you. It's fun, really."

"I bet a root canal would be fun with YOU.", I replied, voicing my exact thoughts instead of holding them in. It felt so great.

"Oooh, dentist fantasy.", he said darkly.

"No, no…", I halted him right there, putting my hand over his lips lightly.

"VVVRRRRR!!! VVRRRR!!!", he imitated a dentist's drill perfectly.

"NO!", I repeated as he rolled over on top of me, his eyes deadly as his brow arched, looking very sinister, "Edward, no!"

He held my face and said, "Open." , asking to see my teeth.

"No, you open!", I managed to slip out of Edward's grasp. I think he let me get away.

He sat up and kicked off his sneakers, and kicked out of his jeans.

"Edward.", I backed a step or two as he stood up, in his total naked glory, his eyes playful but dangerous now as he took one slow step towards me.

"You're forever drinking those icees, Miss Swan.", Edward said, "I'll bet there's at least…three cavities just lurking in that little mouth."

I laughed and began to back some more, realizing the bathroom was my only sanctuary.

"Edward Cullen…", I warned but since I was smiling I guess he didn't take me too seriously.

I spun and fled into the bathroom and he was right on my tail. I didn't even get to close the bathroom door, he was so fast. He slammed it tight behind him as he cornered me in the shower. We always end up here. Maybe he's right. This shower is magical.

"Time for your cold shower, Miss Swan.", he smiled wickedly, taking the showerhead off its perch and turning the faucet towards C.

"You are a very dirty, hot girl.", he added.

"My session tonight is going to be covering this thing you have with cold water, Edward!" I warned, pointing at him, the demonic smile still in place on his lips.

"Fine."

Then he pulled the lever, forcing the water out of the showerhead as I screamed, completely helpless against my captor who was determined to hose me down with ice water.

Today and tonight was just ours. Tomorrow we could deal with reality. Maybe. Maybe the day after tomorrow.

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See next chapter soon!

Love WinndSinger

PS Man, I enjoyed that. It's been too long since they've had any fun time together.

Reality can start later.


	37. Issues

37

EPOV

Bella was standing at the window, still looking down at the police car across the street.

I began to wonder that the fascination was after fifteen minutes.

"They still there?", I asked, smiling at her tiny form. She was wearing her cotton gray sweatpants, socks and long t-shirt. She was so adorable, I knew I'd better stay in the kitchen or I'd only jump her again. I remembered a couple hours ago and smirked at myself. I couldn't even wait to get into the apartment. This is what she does to me.

I'm glad the cops checked the place out before we ascended the stairs, to make sure there were no bombs or would be killers waiting inside. They told us they'd be out there, protecting us…for 48 hours. Then we had to make a choice. Witness protection…or nothing. I remember feeling all warm and fuzzy inside at their concern for our lives.

Charlie was also being protected, still in the hospital. His wounds and leg held him in the hospital longer than my one clean gunshot that had luckily not hit anything major, just nicked an important artery. I never considered myself lucky…until the day I first came to this apartment…until the day I belonged to Isabella Swan.

I still couldn't get over it that my body had not been enough to stop the bullet Victoria shot at me.

Am I really that much of a shadow? That even bullets whiz right through my flesh and muscle?

If it did pass through me and hit Bella, then I'd have done it for nothing. We both would've been hurt…or killed. I had told Bella this as we laid in bed together at the hospital and she put that thought right away.

"It means something to me.", she had said, so softly, "Even if the bullet had hit me…what you did means everything to me. You risked everything to protect me. What if you'd have died, Edward? You'd never see Katie again. I can't believe you'd do something so…stupid…so…heroic…I love you, Edward."

It was the first heroic thing I'd ever done in my existence. I felt ten times more a man since that bullet hit me. I'd never take that moment back, even if it had hit me right through the heart. But then, I'd left my heart as Bella's place when I departed for Fire. I knew it was safe.

"Uh huh.", she said in the present, and turned away from the window, sighing. Her damp hair looked black and curly as she timidly walked over my way now, watching me as I placed things down on the counter.

"Hey, I thought you were helping me, here." I reminded, taking my shirt off carefully, using it again as my apron, tucking the sleeves into my jeans. I love seeing her turn pink when I do that.

"Chop that up in little pieces.", I instructed, glad to have her as my assistant. This would be a lot of fun, teaching Bella how to cook. It was one thing I could teach her that she could tell friends and family about.

"Yea, it is getting hot in here, isn't it?", she asked as I placed a pepper down on a cutting board in front of her, along with a nice cutting knife.

I turned away, going to the fridge and getting the chicken. I opened my mouth to say something but what I saw knocked me out.

Bella was standing there, chopping the pepper….and her t-shirt was over her waist like an apron, the sleeves tucked into her pants. Her pert breasts pouted out and bounced a little with every chop she cut.

I didn't even realize I had dropped the chicken until Bella laughed at me and bent down to pick it up.

Her hair was so dark against her creamy white skin. God damn it! We'll never get to eat. I can see myself losing a finger when I'm trying to chop onions. My eyes will never be able to leave that gorgeous sight.

"Hello?", she laughed, blushing, "Edward? Anybody home?"

"Uh…", I heard my voice stalling, "Yes, I'm home."

That made sense. She laughed at that.

"What about these little seeds?", she asked, as if everything were normal, "Do they go in?

"Seeds?" I asked, forgetting what seeds are.

"Oh SEEDS!", I woke up, seeing the little white bits on the cutting board, "No, no seeds. Cut them out."

She laughed, liking the reaction she was getting out of me. What a little brat. I'd have to punish her later for this. Then I felt a little guilty for doing the exact same thing to her that first morning I'd stripped my shirt off while I made her eggs. I would pay big money to know what she was thinking or dreaming while I cracked the eggs and whisked them into liquid that day. I remember her beet red face staring at anything but my face.

I'm glad I didn't take my jeans off, too. I had pondered that but Bella was so innocent. I'd decided to have a little mercy on her the first day.

I remembered something else, too. When she gave me the check, paying me for the next two weeks, I had told her, promised her that she wouldn't be sorry. That's the first lie I told her.

I shook my head now and tried to snap out of it. I'd seen Bella's breasts before, why is this making me stupid?

I began to cut the plastic wrap, freeing the chicken, trying to just look at it and nowhere else. It didn't help me that I was staring down at chicken breasts, either.

Damn, it is getting hot in here. Am I sweating? Do I smell ? I wanted to sniff under my arms but Bella was watching me too closely.

"This is fun.", she smiled as innocently as a little girl playing housewife.

Yea, fun. I'm about to lose my fingers here. We'll be having chicken and finger bits for dinner.

"I think I've created a monster here.", I teased, glancing over at her, the orange glow of the setting sun from the window coloring her flesh, making it look golden…so flawless.

"I thought the idea was for you to change me, not the other way around.", I teased.

I had rubbed off on her during our time together. Is that a good thing? I know she has improved me for the better already, even though I have a long way to go still.

"I told you.", she smirked as she chopped, "I don't want to change you. But I admit, you've definitely affected me, if that's what you mean."

"Was that affected or infected?", I asked as she laughed and nudged me with her elbow.

"I like the way I am now, Edward.", she confessed, "I feel so free. I'm not afraid anymore."

"Right back at you, babe.", I said, feeling the exact same things inside of me, thanks to her.

Then she kissed me, soft and gently at first…and then I began to kiss deeper, unable to hold myself back.

I've just had this woman for hours, all around the apartment. Hell, I even broke my rule and fucked her in the shower. But it was all blissful and mind boggling for me. And now, in the kitchen, cooking, I wanted her again.

I fantasized about tying her to the counter, spread eagle with a small tangerine in her mouth, muffling her pleas as I dripped heated oil over her breasts, down a straight line to her belly button. Then I'd take a couple spices and sprinkle them on top of that…garlic…maybe a little cinnamon.

Then I'd lean over her and taste my masterpiece dish, my heavy, wet tongue roughly moving over the juices I'd created on that nipple. She was moaning through the little tangerine and then I looked at her, smiling.

I peeled a piece of the tangerine's skin off, the part that just pouted out of her mouth, and then I bit into the sweet, thinness of the fruit, and it was almost like I was kissing her. I made a hum sound and opened my mouth again, closing my lips over the tangy juice.

Our kiss broke and I was back in reality. Not that I minded. My reality is paradise now. God, I'm lucky.

Luck, you goddess, don't tire of me yet. Stay with me. I'll never take you for granted again, I swear. Please. Like me. Love me. Don't leave me again. I'll do anything you want.

"What is it we're making, anyway?", she asked, staring up into my lust filled eyes.

It's so cute how, still, sometimes, she looks scared of me…nervous. I guess it's understandable. We'd only known each other for two weeks. But, somehow, to me, I feel like we've had years together. And I don't mean that in a bad way. She knows me. She gets me. And most unbelievably, she wants me. She loves me.

"I forgot.", I replied and we both laughed like drunks, our noses together as I leaned in and gave hers a little peck. That cute, little adorable button nose of hers. I kissed it again, longer and softer.

"Well I know it's chicken…and it has peppers in it.", she tried to figure it out.

"Let's not try figuring this out.", I said with my deep, dark voice as I put my forehead to hers, "Let's just…make it."

And I kissed her again, putting my knife down on the counter…my hands coming up to hold her little face in them, my head turning, kissing her lips from the other side.

She whimpered as I backed her to the wall, knocking over her cute little list of important phone numbers. It was typed! And I wasn't on the list. We'd have to remedy that. Update the phone list. But then we'd all be moving soon, anyway.

Why am I thinking about phone lists now?

Our bare chest pressed against each other as my tongue took small licks of her mouth, knocking on the door, asking to come in.

If my tongue gets inside, it's all over. We will be making love again. Please, Bella, let me in.

She had a little chance to speak as I looked at her, hungrily, not getting entrance into her mouth yet. She shivered as I gave her a look, almost angry with her for not opening the door.

I grabbed her arms and moved her a little roughly, up on her tip toes so I could get those wonderful golden breasts, still painted in the twilight's touch.

I took a wet lick, followed by a deep bite as she gasped and whimpered louder.

I'll teach you to deny me entrance, little girl. If you won't let me in, I'll bite my way in.

"What about dinner?", she asked, as if in a trance, her mind a million miles away.

She's mine. I smiled like Satan, having the finest angel of heaven in my clutches.

"Later.", I began working on the other breast, cupping it in my hand tightly as I licked and sucked, "I hate chicken anyway."

Then I bit again, gentler this time.

I'd rather have Bella breasts than chicken breasts anytime.

"Chicken?", she whispered, "What's…chicken?"

That's my girl!

I kissed her deeper, celebrating. We were sliding down to the floor, the nearby oven preheating, making us hotter as my hands clutched her full, round breasts, my mouth kissing her neck as she moaned louder.

"I forgot.", I finally answered, then asked.

"Hey, Bella…", I kissed her, "You ever been fucked silly on the kitchen floor before?"

She smiled, the room getting darker as the sun outside quickly sank, taking her light with her.

"Yes, once.", she said and I stopped, looking at her. She never told me this before. Was that the 33 second guy?

"Rosalie and I…", she began and my eyes popped out, my body froze.

What the fuck?

Then she laughed. "Gotcha.", she giggled at my reaction.

"You bitch…", I half smiled as she laughed harder.

She grabbed my face and brought me back to her, kissing me again, effectively shutting me up.

"And you say I have a sick sense of humor…", I muttered as she silenced me again, probing my mouth with her thirsty tongue.

"Shut up and do me.", she demanded, adding loudly, "THUMPER!"

I smirked, liking her style. This is not the same girl I met three weeks ago.

"Yes, Bella.", I obeyed, loving every second of it.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

EPOV

It wasn't until around eleven that night that we'd finally sat down to have our session after dinner.

Bella checked out her tape recorder. It had been awhile since we'd used it. She put a new tape inside and clicked it shut, hitting the record button.

I don't know why but I felt so elated that she was about to say those words.

"Edward…session eleven, I think.", she said, very professionally.

"Hello, Edward.", she greeted me kindly, as always.

"Edward Cullen.", I corrected, using my full name again, now that I was free…and clean. I could say my whole name without any fear or remorse.

She beamed back at me, a thick gaze of pride warming my body.

"Hello, Edward Cullen.", she said with such affection.

"Hello, Dr. Bella Swan.", I said with too much emotion, my eyes adoring her, slaves to her. I wanted to give her the proper respect now, calling her Dr. Bella was childish and disrespectful. I just realized it now… and was so sorry.

She blushed a little, every light in the place off. Somehow it was easier this way.

"I remember how much I used to hate it when you'd announce the session.", I confessed, "Now…it makes me so happy. It's like…I know I'm about to get better every time you say it now."

She looked touched and I thought there were tears in her voice when she paused then said, "I'm so glad. That…means so much to me…that you feel that way. I think, though…that this session will be very hard…for both of us."

I looked down at my hands. They weren't in fists or nervously playing with something anymore. They laid on my legs, resting…peacefully. It was then that I really thought something was being cured inside me.

Then I thought on what she was saying. This session is going to be very hard. Yes, I guess she's right. There are a lot of life changing things happening. Tomorrow the federal marshals will be coming here to begin our entry into the witness protection program.

"I know.", I sighed, looking right at her, a dark, bluish figure staring back at me, always honest and direct while she was seated in her chair.

"So…", she took a breath, "What are your plans for us?"

I felt my confused face creep up. Plans?

"Well…", I began, "I thought…we were all going into the program…and meet Katie and Tanya's parents when we get to…wherever we're going. Isn't that the plan?"

She took a breath and it sounded very shaky to me.

"What's wrong?", my voice took on a strict, secretly frightened tone.

She didn't answer me. I got more scared.

"What's wrong I said.", I repeated, louder and more aggressively.

"Charlie.", she trembled audibly, rubbing her forehead, looking down, "He…won't go…into the program."

I felt my heart seize and my insides recoiled. Charlie's not coming. She's not coming. If I knew anything about Bella, it's that she loves him. And after how he was hurt…she wouldn't let him be alone. She'd take care of him, as a good daughter would.

"No.", I said gravely, staring at my hands…they were shivering now. I was in shock. I would lose Bella.

"No!", I looked at her, deciding that was not an option for me. My voice was desperate now, not strong anymore.

"I want to be honest with you…always.", she said with a sorrowful voice, avoiding my harsh eyes as they burned into her.

"No, Bella….no.", I kept saying the one word my heart kept screaming. I had to say more.

"Charlie asked me to go with him.", she said, even more fragile than before, "I didn't give him a direct answer at the time. But I…"

"I'll go with you.", I cut in, finding another way, "I'll have Ben, Angela, and Katie come to Forks. It's a small town. We can hide there."

"Don't you think I've thought of that?", she looked at me, slightly annoyed, then softened her eyes, "Victoria knew my whole background. She knows my hometown. I'm sure James knows it, too. School records. They'd find us."

"I don't care.", I spat out and then Bella looked up at me, her eyes hard now.

"You don't care.", she repeated, knowing it was a lie, "You don't care that Katie could be kidnapped? Or hurt? Or killed?"

My stomach sank and so did my eyes.

"Exactly.", she said, having her answer, "Besides…even if nothing happened…you'd never feel safe there. You'd never be able to relax there."

"Alright, I care.", I admitted, not wanting to lie in therapy, "But you're not going anywhere without me, Bella."

I hated the way I said that. So direct, so clingy…but I couldn't make myself care that much. I was going to be with her.

"Edward…"

"Bella…", I cut her off again, "I don't want to hear it. If you go to Forks, I'm going with you. If you go to the Moon, I'm going with you. If you go to Hell, I'm going with you."

"I know Edward!", she shouted, "I know!!"

"This is killing me, too, you know!", she kept her voice loud but I could hear the sadness behind the anger she spoke with.

"I can't choose between you and my father, I can't!", she cried, almost saying this to herself.

I wanted to be mad at her….and ever angrier at Charlie. But I couldn't do it. They'd saved me. They'd set me free. And now they wanted me to walk away, alone? It was beyond cruel. It's like releasing a bird from a cage and then snapping its wings off.

"What was the point of all this?", I heard my hurt speaking now, "Why would you teach me to see myself as more so you could just discard me into a box labeled not good enough?!"

Instantly, before I could even hear Bella cry, I tried to take that back.

"I'm sorry.", I bit down on my teeth, "I don't mean that. I know it's not you. You've never made me feel inferior, not even a little bit. In fact, you treat me too well. Charlie thinks it, doesn't he? That I'm not good enough for you?"

She let out a little whimper as she cried, not answering me. That was my confirmation of it. I knew Charlie wasn't crazy about me, but I didn't think he'd try to stop us from being together. But then I thought of Katie. If she was in Bella's position, I'd have murdered the whore who tried to take her away from me.

"I'm still a whore. I'll always be a whore. Even if twenty years goes by, he'll still see me as a whore. I'm not clean. I'm just living in a new place.", I said, emptiness filling my voice and my soul.

"That's not true, Edward.", Bella was crying, "Don't do that to yourself. You're not a whore anymore. (She cringed, using that word.) You're mine. You're perfect."

"Apparently not.", I said quietly, the anger at Charlie building up now, "Do you want me to go? Is this your way of saying you don't want me?"

"NO!", she almost yelled it at me.

"Then I'm not going.", I stated, simply as that, "I'm not losing you, Bella."

"Maybe we could—"

"NO!", I clenched my eyes and then opened them, getting her attention, "I lost Tanya, I lost Katie…I lost everything! Then a thousand years later, when I thought I was dead inside and could never feel anything again, life gave me to you. You made me live again, Bella Swan. And I'm not letting ANYTHING…man, time, tragedy, or even GOD take you away from me!"

I jerked to my feet, going to the door.

"Where are you GOING?!', she cried harder, chasing me.

I looked down at my bare chest and jeans and figured I should put a shirt on.

"To see Charlie.", I informed flatly.

The problem was not here, it was in the hospital with Charlie Swan. I was going to straighten this shit out right now.

I was yanking my white t shirt on when she blocked me coming out of the bedroom.

"Visiting hours are over, Edward.", she informed, "You'll never get into his room. There are also two cops standing outside his door. Wait until tomorrow."

"I can't.", I gently moved past her, picking up my sneakers.

"Please, Edward, we're still in the middle of a session.", she reminded, "Don't run out on me. Let's talk some more. You going after Charlie now, mad as you are, is not going to help things. If you want to get somewhere, you have to be calm."

"How can I be calm when my whole life is about to crumble AGAIN?!", I trembled, hoping she couldn't see it, "I can't. I can't just stand by and let this happen to me again. This time, I'm fighting back! To the death, if that's what it takes."

"To the death?", she asked, sounding scared.

"You know what I mean.", I had my sneakers on now and stood up, about to get to the door as she blocked me, putting her back against the door, her arms on the walls beside it.

"Sit down, Edward Cullen!", she yelled at me, like a teacher would yell at an unruly student. It was sharp enough to stop me…for now at least.

I stared at her, my jaw set…but she was stronger than me.

"Sit. Down.", she demanded…and I couldn't disobey her. My slave nature is not gone yet, by any means. That would take time to overcome.

I sat down, silently, folding my arms, instantly feeling like a third grader.

She slowly came and took her chair across from me.

"Let's calm down.", she suggested, "We will both take a few deep breaths. Edward?"

I had tried to ignore her suggestion but then she was staring at me.

Like a brat, I inhaled deep and exhaled, the attitude still in me.

"Again…slower.", she said calmly, doing it with me this time. By the time we had done it for the fifth or sixth time, I did feel better…not so panicked anymore.

For a second, I felt like Bella's son instead of her boyfriend.

"Good.", she said patiently, probably knowing what a baby I could be during the hard sessions, "Better, Edward?"

I pouted for a moment then said, "Yes."

"Thank you.", I added a moment later, breaking the silence.

"You're welcome.", she replied….then waited for me to speak first.

Finally, I did.

"I'm in love with you, Bella.", I began with the most honest and obvious, "This is not some casual two weeks for me. I did love Tanya, but with you…it's different. I can't explain it…I let Tanya go….even before the fire. And every day I wonder to myself, if I hadn't…maybe she'd still be alive, maybe all this would've never happened to me. But then…I wouldn't have you. The point is…you're it for me. You're my last love. And I think that's even more powerful than first love. I don't want to let you go. I can't. I can't live without you, Bella."

I heard her sniffle but then she became all doctor again.

"First of all, I love you too.", she said, just as calmly as I had spoke, "But second…Edward…you could live without me. Even though that's a beautiful thing to say…and I loved hearing it. That is not true. You could live on…be with your daughter…Ben and Angela would be good for you, too. They would wholeheartedly help you, and let you lean on them when you needed someone, every step of the way. You know this. You're stronger than you believe. You love me but you absolutely could…live…without me."

I sighed.

"You know what I mean, Bella.", I wanted to yell again, but didn't, "I need you."

"That's another thing I wanted to bring up.", Bella said sadly, "And something I want you to think about."

"What?", I felt a lump in my chest, this sounded serious.

"Do you think…even in the back of your mind…", Bella asked, "That maybe…just maybe…you feel the way you feel about me…because…of all the therapy? I have made you feel free, and healed you, you've said more than once, I've helped you get to a good place in your life. I've tried to take some guilt off your shoulders about your past. And, amazingly enough, some of the things I've done with you have helped your peace of mind. You could be confusing what you're feeling with love…"

"Bella, that's absurd.", I refused to consider this theory. I almost said that's stupid to her, but I'm glad I didn't. She is not stupid, by any means. She's right, she had worked her magic on me and made me feel better than I've felt since forever…but that's not why I love her. It's just one of the reasons I do.

"Charlie and Emmett and Jasper helped me too, but you don't see me on my knees to them, declaring my undying love.", I pointed out.

"But, just think about it…", Bella began but I cut her off again.

"Please don't analyze US, Bella!", I frowned, not liking this, "You can analyze everything until it becomes NOTHING!! I'll let you break me down and theorize all night, but don't do that to US! There are no mental or scientific explanations for what we have, Bella. Please…stop…tearing us down. I love you. Period. I'm proud of US. I'm not hallucinating or transferring or dependant or any other term they might slap on me. I love you. Live with it."

A long time went by but I refused to apologize this time.

"I am sorry.", she said, with such love in her voice that I just wanted to kiss her forever.

I waited then answered.

"You are forgiven."

"We will talk to my dad tomorrow.", she said, agreeing, sounding a little unsure, "We won't leave until he agrees to come with us."

"Really, Bella?", I felt and heard hope rising up inside me as I spoke.

"Really, Edward.", she answered and before she could finish, I was holding her in my arms, resting on my knees in front of her throne like the goddess she is. I didn't mind at all. She was loving me….holding me…kissing me…stroking my hair. I was hers. I would always be hers…I wouldn't let her leave me. I couldn't. Even in death, I would never leave her. Charlie would see both of us. He would have to see that we couldn't be apart. I prayed for him to have mercy on me again, like he did when he saw my whip marks. I prayed for him to see US.

And if that doesn't work, I'll chop off the other leg and drag him along behind us.

Yes, I'm kidding.

Jeez, you all must think I'm a psycho, too. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

Don't analyze me. I'm fine.

"There's more, though, Edward.", she said, snapping me out of my thoughts.

She motioned me back to the sofa…and I reluctantly returned there, sitting down.

"Alright. What?" I asked, whatever was coming had to less terrifying than her first couple of announcements.

"Once we decide…what we're going to do…", she made it sound so vague, "When we're moved…we need to find a good psychiatrist…for both of us. Actually, for Katie, too."

"What?", I asked, hating the idea of sitting down with a stranger now, "You're my doctor."

"I'm not a doctor yet, Edward.", she said, "You are the first person I've ever tried to counsel. I have a lot more school ahead, wherever we go, before I'm qualified to really help you. I wasn't supposed to help you, you know, my assignment was to talk to you, and observe you. We both are going to have some major issues in our lives. And Katie should see a child therapist, to help her deal with losing her mother… and also, having you back in her life again. It's not just going to be all happy and sunny the moment we're all together, you know."

"I know.", I retorted defensively.

"Do you?", she asked, making me feel dumb now.

"Yes.", I spat out, "And what issues?"

"I have to deal with what I did to Victoria.", she said, right out, "To pretend I never did it and move on will not work. If I really want to live and not let it eat me up inside, I have to discuss it…talk about it….analyze the hell out of it."

"I should've done it.", I admitted, "I'm so sorry, Bella. I just…couldn't. It would've made fire. I couldn't even move when you picked up that candle…even after…I would've run ten miles before I stopped…"

"Shhh, shhhh, shhhhh!!!", she stopped me again, "I'm glad I did what I did. But like I said, I need to deal with it. I can't counsel myself. And eventually, if I did counsel you and Katie on my own, it would exhaust me. I'm too close to you to be your doctor. It should be someone else. Someone you could go to and even complain about me if you needed to."

"I'll never complain.", I vowed.

She laughed a little.

"Every couple has times when they'll drive each other nuts.", she said, "It's natural. We're gonna hate each other sometimes. We'll argue, fight…"

"No!", I felt sick inside and she looked up at me with a strange gaze now.

"I'm not going to fight with you.", I stated, "I'll never say cruel things to you."

"Issue.", she raised a brow at me.

"Excuse me?", I felt irate now.

"There's an issue, right there.", Bella said smugly, "I don't want you to be some puppy that never dares to argue with me, who's always agreeable, always giving into what I want. It's been your life for so long and I don't blame you. But that's a problem you have to work on. Come on, let's have a fake argument right now. Just try it."

I didn't like this.

"No.", I said, sulking like a kid.

"Come on, it's not real.", she said, "I won't get mad at you."

"No, Bella.", I refused. She calmed me down and now wanted to upset me again. Why?

"Edward…", she leaned forward a little bit, "Do you want us to have a healthy relationship or not?"

I looked at her, torn.

"I don't want to be your new Victoria.", she said firmly, "I want you to FEEL as free as you are. Come on. I'll start."

I frowned and looked to the right as she began her little exercise.

"Edward, you know…", she acted pissed off, "I am getting so tired of cleaning up your stubble that you leave all over the bathroom! Don't you know how to wipe down the sink?"

My first thought was 'I'm sorry, Bella, I'll clean it right now.' But I knew that's not what she wanted. I decided to just play along, not meaning any of what I was about to say.

Smirking, a plan in place, I obviously teased her with, "That's what I have YOU for, Bella. Cleaning is women's work."

I smiled wide at her and she smiled back, knowing I was playing with her.

"Jerk.", she muttered under her breath, "Come on, Edward."

"Bella, I'm very mean.", I informed, "When I fight. Trust me. It's nothing to do with Victoria. I don't fight anymore. I can't."

"You do fight.", she argued, "Sometimes, things will happen where you have to fight. What are you gonna do when Katie wants a belly ring? What's gonna happen when a boy has her out late at night, two hours past her kurfew?"

I think the fear showed on my face because Bella smiled more at me.

"See?", she asked, loving how right she was, "Come on. I can take it."

I didn't answer.

"Edward, I have to go to see a male patient of mine tonight. He's a sex addict and he can't come to the office. I'm going to his house at about eleven tonight to have a session with him.", she said, waiting for me to argue.

This isn't playing fair. She had her finger right on one of my biggest triggers.

"The hell you are.", came out of my mouth. I stopped myself. I had said that calmly but very forbiddingly. I recognized my tone from when I used to fight with Tanya all the time. I hated it.

"This is my job, you can't stop me.", she said, with attitude.

"I have handcuffs.", I informed, still calm but dark, "I CAN stop you."

"What are you saying?", she got louder now, "You're gonna handcuff me?! Who the hell do you think you are?! My MASTER?!"

My growl began to rise up inside me. I looked at Bella and she almost shrank back a bit.

"I'm a doctor, Edward, not your slave!", she tried next, "I can do whatever I want and I said I'm going…"

"You're my WIFE!", I stood, roaring the words at her, my fists clutched at my sides, my eyes on fire.

She went back in her chair hard, her eyes afraid of me.

I felt a gust of air escape from me and I backed away from her, sick to my stomach.

Tears leaked out of the corners of my eyes and I fought to breathe.

"I can't…", I breathed, the vision of her standing and coming to me, blurry through my wet eyes, "I can't…."

"Okay….it's okay…", she whispered to me, smoothing her hands up and down over my bare arms, "Shhhh….shhhh….I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's over…."

I kept thinking…I can't…I can't have a relationship…not a normal one, anyway. Bella is right. I'd have a fight with her someday, just like this one, and I'd snap…and the fucking beast would be out. Worse, what if it were Katie? She will be a teenager someday, telling me the same things as Bella just said.

Tanya always had work at night, at parties…I wondered if Bella said those things, knowing this was my big issue with my wife. Or maybe she just said it and got lucky. Even now, I wondered, did she mean we were over? Or the exercise was over?

As a slave, I never got the chance to argue at all, about anything. I was an agreeable little puppy dog, and the beast in me was dormant for years.

Why couldn't Bella be a Dominatrix? That would make it so much easier for me.

I had frightened her. I saw it in her eyes.

"This is why I don't fight.", I explained as my breath kept panting, I felt panic all through my body, "I'm rotten, Bella. I tortured Tanya for years! I made her cry. Even my last words to her made her cry…"

I broke away from her, undeserving of her understanding and touch. But I couldn't leave. I couldn't run out of her apartment. Remember what happened when I ran out on Tanya?

I ran to the kitchen, leaning on the cool counter for support, my head hanging down as I studied the surface of it.

"Hey.", she was back, stroking her hand up and down between my shoulder blades, "I'm here. I'm with you. I love you. That's not going to change. You don't have to hide your bad parts from me, Edward. To hide them is to let them live forever, deep inside, and always battle them. If you want to get rid of that guy who just screamed at me…and not let Katie see him someday…and by the way, we DO want him gone. Then we have to take him out and give him his medicine. "

"I know you think I enjoy doing these exercises with you, but there's a reason I push you like I do. And see, this is why someone besides me should be your doctor. Because you love me, you want to protect me and hide the darkest parts of yourself from me. But you can't do that. Not if you want peace.", she finished, far, far too good for me.

I sobbed, not able to hold it in anymore. And instead of shoving her away, I clung onto her again, holding her hand and getting an instant huge embrace from both her arms.

I held on for dear life, without hurting her.

"I'm sorry.", I said over and over as she rocked me a little, both embarrassed and weak, "I wish I wasn't like this. I wish I were better for you."

This is why nice, good girls don't want me, to keep. I am so damaged. So weak. No wonder Victoria snapped me right up like she did. She could probably smell the pathetic all over me.

"You will be better, I swear.", she held me tighter, kissing my shoulder, which was right near her mouth, "I will be with you…all the way. Partners, remember?"

I nodded, afraid if I'd talk I'd bawl again. I was trying to quiet myself, then another part of me thought, just let go, cry, forget your dignity. That part was quickly getting the upper hand.

"Partners.", I choked out.

"We're both gonna have times that we need to lean on each other…", said in my ear, "Even carry each other. That's alright. Don't be ashamed."

I wish I could do that. Not be ashamed. Would that feeling ever go away?

I decided it had to. I couldn't learn to live like this without Bella. I had to see Charlie tomorrow and convince him to come with us, to God knows where. More importantly, to give me a chance to be Bella's man, her partner. She had chosen me, despite all my flaws. He had to respect Bella's choice, even if he didn't respect me at all. I had one hell of a fight ahead of me. I couldn't cry and whimper like I was now. I couldn't be pathetic. Charlie would roll his eyes and hate me more.

I tried to steel myself inside, even as we tried to sleep, neither of us succeeding much. I would have to argue with Charlie. I'd have to let that monster inside me out, even if only for a little while. But then Bella said to be calm, not to be angry when I talked to Charlie.

I prayed for someone up there to help me tomorrow…to show me the way…and find the words that would make Charlie understand. God was going to look down at me and raise a brow, asking if I hadn't asked for and gotten enough of his help recently. Maybe I was pushing my luck here. And I couldn't afford to piss Luck off right now, either.

I closed my eyes…and tried to sleep.

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See next chapter soon!

Love Winndsinger

PS Poor Edward. How'd you like evil Edward there for that second during the fake fight?


	38. You Reached Me

38

EPOV

I couldn't wait to burst through the hospital room door. I didn't want to give off an enraged aura when I first met Charlie's eye. I wanted him to hear me, calmly, and make a rational choice to let his daughter be an adult and choose her own path. I wanted her to choose me. I wanted him not to interfere. I wanted him out of the way. I also wanted him in Bella's life. I wanted things to work out, stupidly, I realized I wanted everything to fall neatly into place after Victoria's demise. I truly didn't want anymore obstacles. And I knew that wasn't reality. But I want the fairy tale. I want to slide Bella's little foot into the glass slipper and have everything around us sparkle with pixie dust. Everyone around us would smile and embrace us, wish us well, and be at our Disney wedding at the castle. God, how I want that. I always thought, watching it with Katie, that is was an easy out, a too-perfect ending that wasn't facing any of their true life problems.

But, again, I want the perfect ending. I don't want reality right now. I want Bella. And I was angry at Charlie for trying to steal that away from me. Hell, I hate fire for stealing Tanya from me. I can't even look at or light candles. Now I have a flesh and blood person to face and convince him to allow me to be happy. It would almost be, as if I were getting the chance to reason with the flames in my apartment that night. I had always hated that I had no control or chance to stop things from happening as they did that horrible night.

Now I have a chance. I would not waste it. This time.

Bella was quickly following me as my eyes took Charlie in. This is a man that saved my life. This is a man who created Bella. Not only in physical form, but mentally. Charlie had everything to do with the remarkable creature she is today. I don't want to disrespect that.

Something in me said to slow down, to cut the anger in my gaze. So I softened…a bit.

"Hello Chief Swan.", I heard myself greet him, respectfully. I noticed there were two pillows on top of the blankets of his bed, hiding the void that would be there.

_You are still Chief Swan to me. I'm not trying to insult you, Charlie. Don't be mad._

But Charlie did look annoyed that I had entered his room. I tried to ignore that.

"Edward.", he said dryly, crossing his arms and raising his eyes to the TV, as if a commercial about Smooth Away was more important than what I'd have to say.

"Dad.", Bella was on the other side of him, on his left. She sounded mad at his rude reply.

"What?", he growled darkly, only giving Bella his eyes, not me.

"Edward wants to talk to you.", she snatched the remote and clicked the TV off, "I want you to listen."

Charlie huffed and I forgot everything I was going to say in that split second. I felt panicked all of a sudden, lost. Bella must have sensed that, always keen to emotions and pain…and always ready to put a tourniquet on my bleeding…always prepared to heal.

"So, here's what we're going to do, Dad…Edward.", she regarded both of us, "This is a family therapy session. Everyone will get a chance to talk…and everyone will listen…_Dad_."

This is a brilliant idea! Why didn't I think of it? But then Charlie snorted and sighed, his arms still crossed in defiance.

"He's not family, Bella.", Charlie spat out, dismissing me with four words.

But she was at my defense in two seconds.

"I love him, Dad, he IS family.", she struck back with a hint of anger but kept it in check, as Dr. Bella always does, "Now unfold your arms. It's a defense mechanism. It says no one will get inside you. I don't want to see that."

And, like a miracle happened…Charlie uncrossed his arms and let them rest at his sides.

"Edward…sit down please.", Bella took charge and I fell in love with her all over again.

I sat down in a chair close to the bed and was glad Charlie was almost at eye level with me. I'd hate to have to look up at him, in almost a kneeling level below him, and pleading with him to give us a chance.

I had thought of begging him, last night, and knew it was the wrong way to get to Charlie. He'd think it was weak. I think it's weak. But it's all I know right now. I beg if I really want something. And sometimes, if I beg really well, I get it. I never want to have to beg again. Only Bella or my daughter would ever make me beg like a dog again. And if all else failed, I probably would do it, much to Bella's disapproval.

Bella sat down as well, across from me, Charlie's good and amputated leg between us, so symbolically. It might as well have been a million miles separating us.

"Dad, I talked to Edward last night, about what we talked about.", Bella began, setting the stage, getting it all out there in the open. She has real courage, guts. She is so my super hero. I want lessons from her.

Charlie sighed again. I felt my eyes burning when they darted to him. He turned his eyes to me, then, and they burned right back at me. This was going to be a battle. This was going to be war.

"And Edward has some things to say, obviously.", Bella continued, "I'm going to let him speak first…and then, Dad, you'll get your chance to say whatever you want to say…"

I felt my lips give her a little smile, and I hoped she noticed my silent thank you for this.

"We have to make a choice by the end of the night…about our futures.", Bella said, making me feel even more nervous, "It's right that we spend today together, deciding things together."

Charlie didn't say a word and a small silence descended upon us. Bella raised a brow to me and prompted me to begin with, "Edward?"

Alright. Here it is. My chance to argue, to fight back, to say what I feel and think and not have to suffer any punishment because of it. And, just like that, the words came back to me.

"Chief Swan…", I looked at him and spoke directly to him, "I first want to thank you for everything. You had no reason to help me but you did. You put yourself…and your daughter into so much danger. It doesn't matter what the reason is, I am very grateful for everything you did."

I am glad I said that first. I did want him to know how thankful I was for his help and for saving not only Bella and I but also Emmett.

I got no reply yet from Charlie, not that I expected one. It's alright. I wasn't offended…yet.

"I am a father, too, Chief Swan.", I said, cutting right into the heart of my message, "I'm not there every day with my daughter, but…I love her every day. I'm with her, in every breath I take. And I agree with you. I'm not good enough for Bella."

"Edward!", Dr. Bella suddenly sounded like a sixteen year old girl that was mad at me for saying the wrong thing. But I wasn't finished yet. I even had Charlie's attention now. He was looking at me, anyway.

"If I get to be around and some whore tried to take my daughter to the curb, let alone to a whole different state, I'd murder him first. I would erase him from the world in two seconds.", I said, without hesitation, then paused.

Charlie even grinned a little.

"But then…", I continued, "Then my daughter would hate me. Curse me. Want no part of me at all. I'd miss more time with her then, by her own choice. I'd miss not just walking her down the aisle, or putting swing sets together for her kids in the backyard, but even little things like talking together, or cooking together…just calling on the phone to say hi…writing letters to each other…and a million other things…I'd miss it all. I have missed far too much of her life already. I can't say a thing. I have to smile and even stand by, watching, while she grows up and makes her own choices. Even if those choices are wrong and will cause her pain, I can't say a damned thing. All I can do is be there when she needs me. Hold her while she cries and help her find the way. It sucks but…I know in my heart that's the right thing…the only thing a Dad can do."

"Listen, Edward, you don't understand…", Charlie tried to cut me off but I stopped him cold.

"I understand, Charlie!", I closed my eyes for a moment. I was so tired of being treated like I was stupid and just a cute face and body, nothing more.

"I understand more than you do.", I pointed out, staring daggers at him, "Have you seen your daughter on fire? Have you been helpless, standing by while you listen to her screams of TERROR and excruciating PAIN?! I understand wanting to protect your little girl! Don't you dare try and tell me I don't get it. I DO! "

I paused again, calming down, my vision a little blurred with tears that threatened to leak out of my eyes, but I tried to hold them back. Bella was staring at me, her eyes strong but solemn.

Calmly, I spoke again.

"I gave my daughter up once.", I said very quietly, looking down at my hands that were clenched in fists, "I wanted to keep her innocent…I wanted her to be happy. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life, Chief Swan. It killed me. I died that day. But I did it for her…for Katie. I sold everything I was, hoping it would be enough to buy Katie her life back. And I would do it again. So if you want me to say I'm sorry, I won't. I can't."

"What you see now is all that's left of me. I know it's not a lot. I have no degrees, I have no real money…I have no super career. I know I'm a man in shreds, I know that. I didn't think I could even love another woman, after all the women I've known in the last few years. But I do. I love Bella Swan. I'll do anything to make her happy. Even…to rebuild myself…until I believe I'm truly worthy of her, which I probably never will be. But I'm gonna try…every day. Please don't…kill us before we even have a chance to begin. Please."

I paused, thinking maybe I would end my speech here. Then Bella looked at me. I looked back at her, my eyes secretly adoring her.

"That took a lot of courage, Edward.", Bella said in her professional doctor voice.

"Dad?", she began to give Charlie his chance to speak and he was about to open his mouth.

But I cut in again.

"My parents once forbid me to marry Tanya.", I dared to look at Charlie's face as he stared back at me, "They told me if I stayed with her, I'd lose them, I'd lose their money, my college courses, everything. I hated them for that. Not that I loved them very much before. But I chose love. I walked away from them and even though it was very painful for me and might have changed my relationship with her, I made the right choice. Don't make Bella choose, Chief Swan, please. It will hurt her. Either way. And you'll never be the same man to her again. She looks on you as a hero. Don't throw that away."

I stopped and let a breath out, adding, "That's all I wanted to say."

Bella took another breath and smiled at me with approval. I felt much better now. The only thing that worried me was that it was Charlie's turn to speak his mind.

"Okay.", Bella said after another pause, "Dad…why don't you tell us what you're thinking?"

Bella sounded afraid, deep down, of what he'd say next. So was I. I knew his reasons would be good and hard to dispute. All I have on my side is love. He has logic, sense, and reality behind him, ready to cut my throat.

"Fine.", Charlie began, his voice low and unmoved.

I am dead.

But just as Charlie was about to start ripping me apart, the door burst open and two officers with guns on their hips strode in. A man, in his thirties, with short brown hair slicked back wearing a modest suit, and a woman in her twenties with short cropped reddish blonde hair and fair skin.

They showed their badges and looked grim.

"Federal marshals – Conner and Meyer.", the man announced themselves, "Sorry to intrude, here, but we're out of time."

Out of time?

Bella stood up, looking worried as they stood beside Charlie's bed, next to me.

The woman looked down at me and put a hand on my shoulder. I felt sick inside suddenly, imagining the worst. Katie!

My eyes widened in realization and I jerked my head up at them.

"My daughter!", was all I could shout out.

"She's okay, she's okay.", the woman marshal assured me and my guts unclenched.

"But something's happened.", the male marshal but in, "Ben Cheney, your daughter's guardian…his car blew up last night. This is the car they left behind when we took them to the safe house. No one was hurt but…well, I don't have to paint you a picture, do I?"

I felt myself jumping up and moving before my brain was even aware of it all.

"We have a place set up for you to join them..", the woman marshal was telling me, "But we need to go now."

"Alright, I'm coming.", I said, ready to go with them right now. I didn't even really need to go back to Bella's to get anything. Everything that was important to me was on me right now in the backpack I was carrying. We can go right to the airport and be on our way to Katie. I could see her in hours.

"Edward?", Bella's voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I froze, turning and looking.

Bella was standing next to Charlie's bed, and he was holding her hand. They were both looking at me, both their faces painted with dread.

"Bella…", I choked.

The male marshal looked at his partner and they waited by the door.

"I hate to get in the way of…this…", the male marshal said, breaking the silence that had risen up between us, "But we have to go. It's yes or no."

"Bella, I have to go.", I informed, "If I don't, I'll never see my daughter again."

I looked at the marshals and raised a brow. "Right?", I asked them, making sure.

"They signed up for witness protection this morning.", the woman gave a serious nod.

I turned to Bella and she had tears in her eyes.

"Please, Bella.", I took a step forward, Charlie's bed between us.

Then I looked at Charlie and so did she.

"Chief Swan…", I breathed, "Please come with us. Please don't do this to us. If you want me to beg, I'll beg. I'll do anything you want. But please don't take Bella away from me."

"My God.", Charlie grumbled, embarrassed by my plea.

"Dad!", Bella frowned at him.

"Sorry.", he said quietly, looking down at the pillows hiding his amputated leg, "I'm not going."

I let out a frustrated breath and looked away, then my eyes came back to Bella.

"I can't ask you to come with me and leave your father, Bella.", I said and every single word cut into my heart as I uttered it.

"Wait.", Bella let a tear fall and she grabbed my good arm, yanking me over into the corner of the room, near the window, leaving Charlie and the marshals there alone.

Before she even started to speak, I crushed my lips to hers and cupped her face into my hands, afraid this may be my last chance to kiss her sweet, wet lips.

"Edward…", she cried, her voice trembling as she threw herself into my arms.

I held her close and tight, kissing the top of her head with small, gentle pecks.

"Bella…", I said with a small voice, "I understand. He's your father. Just like I know you understand I need to be with my daughter. I won't make you choose. I don't want you hating me for this."

"Edward, I love you.", she clung to my shirt, a whimper coming out of her throat, "I can't let you go."

"I love you, too, Bella.", I heard my voice crack, realizing if I did leave, I would never be able to see her or even call her again. This witness protection thing is for life. But then I pictured Ben's car exploding, with all of them inside. If they had taken Ben's car instead of Angela's a couple days ago…they'd all be dead now.

"I'll always love you.", I added, meaning every word of it, ignoring my shaking hands.

She sobbed out loud and I glanced back at Charlie. He was avoiding looking at us, flicking on the TV overhead.

In that moment, I hated him. He didn't even care that his daughter was crying and in pain.

I broke from Bella and went after Charlie, snatching the remote from his hand.

"Yea, that's right, watch TV, CHARLIE!!", I shouted right into his face, "What's the score of the game?! Our lives are fucking destroyed and you turn on the TV?!! I wonder if there's a show called Tearing your Daughter's Heart Out!!!"

Bella came up behind me and was tugging on my sore arm a little but I didn't care. I had lost all control.

"You know, Charlie, I'm sorry you lost your leg, but I'm more sorry that you lost your heart – a long time ago.", I was livid, "There's no prosthetic for that! I hope you have no trouble sleeping at night for the rest of your life, knowing your daughter gave up her own happiness to push you around in your wheelchair for the rest of yours!"

"Edward, enough!", Bella pulled me away from him and I threw the remote at him as she got me over near the door, the marshals right beside us.

"I'm sorry but we need to go.", the woman said to both of us, then looked at Bella, asking, "Are you coming?"

I didn't need to hear her answer. I just took her into my arms again and kissed her, filled with passion and fire, my anger still fueling the flames.

She kissed me back but then sobbed again, breaking the kiss. I placed three little kisses to her mouth after that, wanting every second I could get with her.

"Oh God, Edward…", she wept, grabbing her hair. She looked up at me with glistening eyes and took a breath.

She brought both hands to my hair, touching it, stroking it, memorizing its every unruly lock. Then she moved her fingers down to my forehead, over my closed eyes, down the slope of my nose, down my cheekbones, her thumbs gliding over my bottom lip, then playing at the little dent in my chin.

She looked into my eyes as I stared back, my nose resting and nuzzling hers. I tried to think of something to say, in hopes of easing this pain. I knew immediately nothing could.

"This doesn't change anything, Bella Swan.", I whispered, "I love you. I'll always love you. And I'll always belong to you. Always."

"I'll always belong to you, Edward.", she cried, placing two kisses on my neck, "I love you so much."

"Edward?", the male marshal called as I turned my head to him.

"We have to go.", he looked at his watch, then looked down, adding, "Sorry."

"I have to go." I said blankly, feeling so empty inside now.

"Promise me you'll stay in therapy.", she clung onto me, tears all over her little face.

I smiled and moved my thumbs under her eyes, moving the wet, salty tears aside.

"I promise.", I said, honestly, "Dr. Bella."

"I prefer Notebook Girl.", she tried to smile back up at me.

"Yes, my notebook girl.", I grinned…and felt tears come to my eyes.

I had to go fast or I'd never go. I hated it but I had to get out of here.

"You saved me, Bella.", I choked out the words, "You reached me."

"I told you I could.", she looked up at me, proudly.

I felt tears about to fall out of my eyes and I lifted her face to mine, one last kiss. I took my time, hoping it was as sweet and precious and everlasting to her as it was to me.

My heart was shattered when I ended the kiss at last.

"Goodbye Bella.", I whispered, yanking myself out of her arms and turning, taking a couple steps until I was outside the hospital door, the marshals right beside me.

And before I knew it, we were leaving her behind. We were on the way to the exit of the hospital…on the way out of her life forever.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Sorry that was short, but I had to end it here so the next chapter would work.

Don't hate me, it's not over yet! Sorry it took me a few days to post this, real life sucks!

Love

Winnd


	39. Not Afraid Anymore

39

BPOV

"Goodbye Bella.", he whispered, quickly pulling himself out of my arms, turning and exiting the door out without looking back. To another woman it might have seemed as if he couldn't wait to leave me. But I'm Dr. Bella. I know better. A fast break is easier. I'm sure the day he gave Katie to Ben and Angela he didn't linger long there either. He was rushing off to suffer alone, like he always did.

I had broken him all over again…just when he seemed to become so strong…so proud.

And now I am broken, too.

His scent still danced around me as I tried to hold in the sobs that were dieing to erupt. Stupid little things began to dawn on me like…I have no pictures of him. But I do have his beautiful, sweet voice on tape. I do have that. I pictured myself laying in my bedroom in Forks, listening to those tapes over and over again, holding my pillow over my mouth so Charlie, next door wouldn't hear me bawling.

Then I pictured myself using the rain stick Edward gave me to smash my father's head in while he slept. That thought gave me a bit of perverse pleasure.

I felt dizzy and didn't realize I was making any sounds until I heard Charlie talking to me, trying to ease me by saying something like 'Come here, Bells, please…take it easy, hon."

All I could understand, after my legs numbly made their way over to him, were my words…I kept repeating the same two words over and over again, almost to myself.

"He's gone…he's gone…", I breathed again as Charlie took my hand into his and gave it a furry little kiss, his mustache tickling my skin.

Then a sob did come out and the tears were blinding me. All I could see was Edward. A thousand beautiful little pictures dancing around in my heart…starting with a trapped, collared vampire being dragged onto the club floor…to a laughing man in a Chinese restaurant, wiping the coke I had spit at him off his shirt…to my nude, masculine hunter that made love to me in the woods…to the heartbroken look on his face a moment ago when he realized we had to go in separate directions…forever.

"Bella.", Charlie's voice was suddenly firm and kinda snapped me out of my transe, "Bella?"

"Yea, Dad?", I stopped my breakdown and shoved it aside for now, even though part of me knew he deserved to see what he'd done by his stubborn ass attitude.

Maybe he was in pain…but was he in as much pain as me?

"Do you need some painkiller or something?", I heard myself blurt out, wishing there were some shot to heal my agony right now.

I'll never even get to know if he's alright, if things with Katie will be alright…if his therapy worked out for him and his family…his heart. Would he ever be able to find love…real love with a woman? After all the abuse his poor heart has endured?

"No, Bella.", Charlie answered, the TV blissfully off now.

I sniffed, trying to hide my hurt as Charlie began talking, holding both my hands in his rough ones.

"Remember when you were little, Bella?", Charlie cracked a little smile and I felt my own face frowning at him in response.

Is this really happening? I lost Edward forever a minute ago and now Charlie wants to walk down memory lane with a smile on his face!! Maybe if I strangle him now I have time to catch Edward before he leaves the hospital.

"What?", my voice sounded so tiny and weak.

Is this really what I gave up my first and only love for? Someone I can reminisce with about my crappy childhood? I almost want to go find James and beg him to finish me off.

"Remember when I bought you home The Little Mermaid?", he asked, his eyes looking a little spacey, as if he were really seeing it now.

I just stared…maybe he's on something really heavy right now.

"Remember?", he looked at me directly now, his eyes more serious and not so nostalgic anymore.

I shrugged. "Yea, I guess."

I have to ask the doctors if he sustained any brain damage when he took that fall. Jesus, that's all I need in addition to all the rest of the crap now piled on my shoulders. It felt like buildings upon buildings were wobbling on my back. And all this weight, without a glimmer of hope or happiness in my heart….was just too painful. I wondered how many years I'd be able to do this. If there was any way I could counsel myself and live with this jail sentence I'd just imposed upon myself. And I felt guilty for even thinking that. This is my father. I should take care of him. He saved Edward.

Maybe that's how I can live with this.

Charlie saved Edward. I owed him for that. And I would pay the price…with the rest of my life. I knew in my heart I loved Charlie. He was there for me all my life. But right now, I could feel no love at all for him. And that scared me. I felt more like a dutiful slave now than a daughter.

A slave…holy shit. I had just traded places with Edward. I am now Charlie's slave and Edward is free. How strange that only one of us at a time can be free. My free time was up…and over. Maybe that's what I get for exterminating Victoria. But I'm still not sorry about that. Killing her was the same as killing roaches to me.

Edward had set me free from all my fears and hang ups, he really did awaken me, the woman I became with him was someone I really liked. She had no guilt about her pleasures, her loves…she was brave and natural...sexual. I loved being her. Now I'd have to put all that away in storage and be the boring, closed up thing I was before he came into my life, dancing his way into my heart.

I felt something inside me accept that. I would gladly take his place, I knew that a long time ago. If it would've spared Edward all he suffered…all he lost…I'd do it in a second.

Fly, Edward…fly….don't look back…just keep rising…go. I'll stay here on the ground and watch you soar until you disappear in the sunlight you've craved for so long.

Be happy, my sweet love…my noble vampire…my angel…my Free Eagle…my Thumper. I'll miss you forever and ever. I'll never stop loving you…Edward Cullen.

I pictured myself a dried up old woman by the time my thirties came around. I wouldn't even want to date, and I'd never let myself forget how wonderful every moment with Edward had been. I'd be tortured by remembering such deep love…but never being able to feel it again. I don't want anyone else. If some perfect guy ever did show up in my life…I don't even think I'd notice him at all.

And Charlie was still talking.

"You loved that movie so much.", Charlie smiled, remembering, "I'd sit with you on the floor and we'd watch it over and over again. As soon as it was over and the song ended, you'd jump up and hit rewind. And you'd jump around, not hardly able to wait until it rewound so it could play again."

I blinked and looked towards the window…imagining Edward's plane flying past…taking him out of my life. I want to sit on the floor and watch Sponge Bob with him…right now.

"I liked it, too.", Charlie said and my mind was blurring his words a little, "Ariel's Dad had it rough. Trying to keep his little girl safe…thinking the guy she wanted wasn't good enough…but then he proved himself…helped save the ocean…and the King…everyone."

Good, Dad. I'm glad you enjoyed it, too.

"And he had it in his power to turn her human…but he knew if he did that, he'd lose her forever…she'd marry the prince and her dream would come true…damn…even now I remember getting real tears in my eyes at the end when he says to the crab…the part about…there's only one problem left…how much I'm going to miss her. Got me every time. And then he gives her legs…gives her the chance to be happy. He lets her go…smiling…even though it's gotta be killing him inside."

"Huh?", I was in so much pain now it made me stupid.

He cleared his throat and swallowed…and his eyes shined with small tears.

He squeezed my hands, kissed them…and then let them go.

"I used to think to myself…I'd do the same thing…if I were him.", Charlie said with a defeated, almost ashamed voice, "Damn it."

He paused again, and then looked up at me while I just frowned down upon him, confused…in shock.

"Goodbye Bella.", he choked on the words, letting a sharp breath out, "Tell Edward he'd better take DAMN good care of my girl. I'll find him if he doesn't, no matter where they're planning on hiding ya."

What?!! I froze and my mouth fell open. If this was some sick joke, I'd kill him myself.

"WHAT?!!", I heard myself shout, shaking all over.

"I'd love to take an hour to say it all but your boy is getting away.", Charlie glanced at the hospital door, "Go get him, Bella. I'm sorry, I was fucking wrong. There's a first time for everything, I guess."

"But, Dad, I can't just leave---", I wanted to go…so badly….but now that Charlie was my Dad again, the Dad I knew…how could I leave him this way? Now?

"Move it, girl!", Charlie raised his voice a tad, "He's got a couple minutes head start on you. Do whatever you have to do catch them. You remember me teaching you how to drive after a suspect, right?"

"Yea.", I remembered. Charlie taught me all he knew. He was still teaching me.

"So move your ass, Swan.", he jerked his head to the door, "NOW! If you don't catch him, I'm gonna be pretty disgusted with you."

I breathed and tears fell from both my eyes. Charlie Swan is my hero.

There was only one thing I could say now.

I flung myself into his arms and whimpered, "I love you, Daddy."

God, I can see Ariel in her wedding dress doing and saying the same thing to King Triton.

"I love _you_, Little Bells.", his voice broke as he called me my three year old nickname. His one arm wrapped around me and his hand rubbed up and down my back…and then he released me.

"Now get outta here.", he said gruffly, "They'd be headed to JFK airport. Take the quickest route. Cut off anything that dares to get in your way. No more bullshit now…GO."

"Okay.", I jerked backwards, coming back to place a big wet kiss on Charlie's face, "Thank you Dad."

"Bye.", he raised a hand as I took one last look, busting out of the hospital door.

The two policemen outside Charlie's door looked at me for a moment, wondering why I was running. I spun around, facing them and ordered them in no uncertain terms.

"Take care of that man, I mean it!", I pointed at them, not even waiting for their reactions before I spun again, my sneakers squeaking on the floor as I sped out of there…some nurse yelling at me not to run through the halls as I ignored her.

I was on the street now…my mind going through my options. My truck was home. Edward had driven us here in his Volvo. I raced to it in the parking lot and realized before I got to it, that he still had the keys. I had driven this car once before, when I rescued Edward from Raven's place. One thing my Dad taught me was driving like a cop.

But how to get into the car without a key?

My father taught me this awhile ago, in case of emergencies. I never thought I'd have to use it for real. But I can open Edward's car lock with my cell phone. I flipped it open and went to the menu, going to sounds…hitting the one Charlie had me name Renee.

I hit the ringtone and held it up to Edward's lock. It just made a little hum sound and the lock clicked open. How cool is that? Thanks again, Charlie!

My father knew all kinds of great little tricks like that and he shared them all with me, just in case I ever needed any of these tips in an emergency situation. So many times he'd hear stories of girls who might have gotten away, if they had the guy's car key, or something like that. He never wanted me helpless and unprepared, unable to do all she could to escape.

"Sorry, Edward.", I was in his car seat and moved the wheel all the way up so I could reach down under and pull the gold and green wires out.

Hopefully he'd never know I had to do this to his baby. Maybe on our 25th anniversary I'd tell him…maybe.

I was flying out of the parking lot and prayed to God that no cops would snag me. Would I stop? No. I had to catch up…I was way behind them. I had to haul ass. Good thing I have a Volvo under my ass.

"Please, please, please…", I was driving like a maniac, swerving around cars and trying to dial my cell phone at the same time.

If I could call him, I could stop him. But I kept getting Edward's voice mail. Did they take his phone away from him? Maybe that was part of being in the witness protection program…cutting all ties to the witness.

"DAMN IT!!", I threw the cell phone in the empty passenger seat next to me, giving up on that idea.

I was honking and screeching around slow traffic, wondering why no sirens were behind me yet as I bolted through the narrow streets like lightning. I glanced at my speed.

83 miles per hour. I was glad at least it was a weekday and the afternoon, not lots of traffic in my way right now.

In the back of my head, I wondered how I'd even find Edward to stop him. I had no idea where he was going, what airline he would be using…what gate…part of me considered giving up…this was impossible!! It would never work! Only in the movies was it ever so easy! But I couldn't give up. Edward is my life now. I have to try and save it. To go back to Forks now…after this chance of going after him…it would cause me physical pain. It would break me. It would make me a shadow.

Please Mom, please…I mentally begged…stop him…don't let him get away…help me find him.

I talk to my mother all the time, in my head, just about my little every day things…she knows how much I love Edward. She might've been the one to straighten Charlie out just now. I hope she is still with me, fighting on my side.

"No, no NO!!", I was coming upon a busy street, filled with cars. Bumper to bumper…nowhere to go…

I felt tears come to my eyes as I looked at Edward's digital clock on the dashboard. How many minutes had I been driving? He could be at the airport right now, escorted by federal marshals, passing all the traffic if they wished.

I clenched my eyes and whimpered, shaking…and then a loud, blaring siren sounded in the distance…I spun around, looking…hearing it approaching…coming closer…closer now…all the cars were moving aside…pulling over to clear the road…

Are you kidding me?

In my rear view mirror, I saw a giant, red, gorgeous fire engine!! Lights flashing…sirens squealing…the symbolism almost knocked the wind out of me.

The road was clear and the fire engine breezed right down the street. I didn't hesitate…I roared after it…before any cars could pull back into traffic…I could follow the fire engine as long as it was headed the way I wanted to go. It would cut through streets with no resistance like a hot knife through butter…and I would be sitting right on its coattails.

How many laws am I breaking again?

I was very happy for a couple minutes, smiling at the confused faces of a couple of firefighters on the back of the truck. Maybe they thought I was a volunteer firefighter or something. I certainly didn't look the part, but I didn't worry about that now. I just thanked God or my mom or whoever for this break and took advantage of it for all it was worth.

This is too good to be true…I'm almost there! What I'd do when I got there was going to be fun.

The fire engine turned left finally…and I had to turn right. Oh well, thank you, fire engine!! You ROCK!!

And then…my heart stopped.

Cars were bumper to bumper…for miles!! The line seemed to stretch out ahead of me for light years!!

I turned and fumbled around for my cell phone again, hoping to try that again, my confidence dwindling with super speed. Something was holding traffic up big time. Was there an accident? I couldn't see anything.

I jerked my arm, not finding my phone anywhere on the floor by the passenger seat. My purse spilled over and a few things fell out. I didn't pay any attention to that until my head spun around, about to feel under the seat for my phone…but then something caught my eye.

A little sliver of paper with red writing on it. A fortune.

_The one you love is closer than you think._

"Where? Where?", I whimpered aloud to myself, searching everywhere I could look from my dormant vehicle. I couldn't sit still like this anymore. It was killing me.

I went with my gut and opened the door, getting out of the car, slamming the door closed.

A couple people honked at me but I ignored it. I scanned the inside of every car I walked past, looking for my Edward.

"EDWARD!!", I started screaming his name in a loud bellow, "EDWARD CULLEN!!"

Maybe this isn't a great idea, calling someone's full name in the street when they're on their way to join witness protection.

I don't even know what kind of car the marshals drove. Everything is against me here.

I was yelling so loud I didn't even hear it until about five minutes later.

Drums…loud, booming drums…like thunder. Chanting voices…male…Indian!! It was a slow, deep chant…it sounded like Indian warriors on their way to heaven…or the spirit road, as they call it. It was so loud I'm sure no one could hear me at all. But I was quiet now…I ran towards the voices…unsure why…it just felt right.

Maybe they were having the festival on the road crossing this one and they were blocking traffic or something. I ran my ass off…I had to get there.

This has to be right…this has to be the way. Please let this be.

They had told me my voice was good, that it had medicine. They told Edward he would be free. And by some unreal coincidence, they were here now, blocking traffic…the traffic that threatened to remove Edward from my world.

God, another Disney flashback. Now I'm Pocahontas, racing to save our futures, our two worlds…to make them one…finally…one.

I don't know how I did it, but I somehow got to them. I choked for another minute…out of breath…sweating like a pig. A couple of the men in their twenties, dressed in their beautiful ceremony headdress and costumes, were nice enough to steady me and wait for me to calm myself down.

"Are you alright?", one of them smiled at me, waiting patiently.

"I need your help.", I panted, my hands on my knees, bent forward as I tried to control my breathing, "Please…I'm desperate!"

A few moments later, traffic had still not moved an inch…and I had thirty loud, strong Indian warriors' voices calling, "FREED EAGLE!! FREED EAGLE!!"

And they were blowing their horns, like Indians from days past.

This was while they broke into little teams and spread themselves out amongst the trapped cars. I nearly sobbed from the emotion I felt at these wonderful men who helped me instantly, not asking me lots of questions. All they knew was that love was on the line. I had lost him and they would help me find him. It was enough for them.

I didn't want to call his name out, just in case there was anyone in the area who would want to hurt him. Freed Eagle would work. I remember the look on his face when they'd named him that. I think that truly is his real name now…in his heart.

I kept searching every car I walked past, looking for my bronze haired beauty. I would give anything to see that hair again.

"Edward!!", I tried to keep my voice from becoming a scream, "Edward!!"

I could hear the calls for Freed Eagle even now, way back here as they walked way up ahead of me. Their voices rose up and boomed like a god's would…and I felt hope budding again deep inside me. He has to be around here somewhere…he had to hear his name.

I wiped my eyes and kept moving…hoping the next car would be the one…then the next…and the next. This would be perfect, to find him before he got to the airport. Once there, I would never find him.

"Please, Edward…just answer…", I cried to myself like a four year old girl.

Maybe he didn't get stuck in this traffic. Maybe they'd taken another road.

Then I heard a chorus of high pitched Indian warrior voices, celebrating something.

My heart burst in my chest as I looked up ahead from where the sounds were coming.

I felt a big gush of wind blow my hair back away from my face, wiping my tears. Did they find him? Was it just other people participating in the festival?

I heard lots of honking…cars sounding angry as they barked out loud. I heard thuds against metal…and drums pounding in a happy tune…warriors doing a war cry…sounding pleased…victorious.

Then I heard…"Bella!!"

Am I losing my mind? Or did I really hear that? The Indians don't know my name.

"BELLA!!", a male voice roared out again, more intense.

I couldn't see anything…just cars.

I heard fast thuds against metal again and realized it was footsteps…walking on…cars?

I found myself climbing on top of this poor guy's beat up old Buick, a faded blue thing. His shouts and his honks would not disturb me. I was listening for my name again…searching for my warrior prince.

"BELLA!!" I finally heard it again and turned towards it.

Everything paused and came to a crashing halt then.

All standing on top of trapped cars that were filling the skinny street, there were five Indian warriors….and in the center of them like a sore thumb stuck out a pale white skinned one with bronzish colored hair, wearing t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers…and of course, his bear claw around his neck…and the biggest smile I'd ever seen. This was a new smile of his I never saw before. It melted me in a half second.

"Is this your Freed Eagle?", one of the more handsome Indian warriors smiled, at Edward's side.

"EDWARD!!", I squealed, climbing over a couple more cars as he did the same to reach me.

"Bella!", I was in his arms finally and was being drowned in his lips, kisses soft but getting more and more intense as he tried to talk between each one.

"I guess so.", another warrior's voice said to my left. They sounded genuinely happy for us and if I had time, I would've kissed every single one of those guys. But at the moment, I only had kisses for my Edward.

"What are you doing?', his brow creased as I opened my mouth and kissed him harder, my fingers clutching into the sides of his hair, "What's going on?"

Did he still not realize that I can't live without him? Doesn't he know this means I'll never leave him again?

I heard the marshals shouting a few cars behind us as we both stood on some poor guy's hood. The honking didn't bother me at all. We just kept kissing. Nothing could move us now.

"I want to go with you, Edward.", I pleaded, kissing him even rougher than before, "If you want me to. Please say you want me to."

He smiled before I kissed him again…and he closed his eyes during this kiss. I held his face so he couldn't get away from me.

"God, I want you to, Bella.", he breathed, kissing me this time, "How I want you…I love you, I love you so much!"

I leaped into his arms, holding him as the Indian warriors and a bunch of spectators in their cars began clapping and honking little tunes, celebrating right along with us. Only in New York…

"I love you.", I whispered into his ear before I kissed it, letting happy tears blink out of my eyes. His hands were like heavenly skin touching my back…then my ribs. I can never lose these hands again.

"I was dieing more every step I took.", Edward breathed into my ear now, "We can't be apart, Bella. We just can't."

"I know, I know, I know….", I whimpered like a little girl, kissing him again, this time a little softer.

"What about Charlie?", he asked now, bringing reality back into our little bubble.

"He told me to go get you.", I smiled with a touch of sadness in my voice, "He told me to tell you- you better take damn good care of his girl."

"I will, I swear!", he promised, his arms crushing around my waist. And I knew he meant it, all the way down to his bones, "I SWEAR!"

"I know you will.", I looked into those dazzling emerald eyes of his, "And I'll take care of you. We'll both take care of Katie…we can do this."

With a determined nod, Edward smiled that lovely crooked smile of his, his eyes full of hope and strength again.

"We WILL do it.", he replied, the bravery glowing around him, "Together."

"Yes, Edward.", I used his trademark servant phrase, "Yes."

"Yes.", he agreed, kissing me again, with a new energy that said we would make it now…everything would be alright. It would take work and pain and struggle, lots of it…but I was ready for it. I once thought it would be impossible…but now…I feel like anything with him is reachable…we can get there.

I know we have love on our side but I also know that it takes more than love to last in this world. But we do have more. I began to list all the other things we have going for us when we were interrupted.

"Cullen.", the male marshal was standing on the car behind us, along with his partner. They were just frowning at us, waiting.

Edward and I turned to them, remembering.

"This is not what we call hiding you.", the female one squinted her eyes.

"Oh. Sorry.", Edward cringed a little.

"She coming with us, I assume?", the male asked dryly.

"Yes.", Edward squeezed my waist and turned us towards the marshals.

But we didn't even get a chance to start walking off the car when a giant, exploding BOOM sound erupted all the way down at the end of the long line of cars. Everyone started screaming and jumping out of their cars. I couldn't see well but I saw black smoke and it was in the direction I had come from when I left the Volvo. The marshals grabbed us and jerked us away, shoving us into the back seat of their car. They were in the front seat, wheels squealing as we took off, tearing down the road.

"What the hell was THAT?", Edward peeked out the back window as I did the same beside him.

The male marshal was on his cell, yelling as his partner stared at him.

"We're nearly there now.", he shouted, "We also have Bella Swan with us now, too. Yes! Print it!"

He snapped his phone shut and looked at the woman at his side.

"It was the Volvo!", the man yelled and looked at me in the rear view mirror, "Did you drive his Volvo here?"

"Yea.", I admitted.

"Great.", he grumbled, "You're lucky to be alive, you know that?"

"What?", I asked, "What happened?"

"His Volvo just exploded.", the male marshal informed, still driving at the speed of light.

"My Volvo!", Edward's head spun back around, looking out the windshield again, as if he just lost his puppy.

Oh shit. I'm dead. Maybe I proclaimed our undying love a little too soon. Please don't let him be mad at me.

"Forget the car, your girl drove it over here!", the woman turned to us, looking at Edward, "It must've been on a timer. We had someone on the way to check the car out but you must've beat him there."

"Oh my God!", Edward breathed and looked at me, "Thank God you got out of the car!"

Jesus. That fortune saved my life! How wild is that?

"Is this always the way you guys take care of people?", I heard myself scolding them, wishing my father was in charge of this operation instead of these guys.

"Hey!", the woman frowned, "You're alive, we're doing our job. Now shut up until we get there."

"Hey, don't you talk to Bella that way! Who the HELL do you think you are?!", Edward defended me with no hesitation. I felt so proud of him. He's already standing up for us, and against a woman. He is going to be fine. He's a fast healer.

"The good thing is no one else got hurt.", the man said, "People near your car got out of their vehicles to see the show. Well, they thought it was a show, with the Indians and all. That was very lucky."

Luck is still on our side. Thank you!

"Yea.", Edward's mouth hung open, thinking of what could've happened.

"And…", the woman added, "It can work out for us. We're gonna leak it to the press that the Volvo exploded and claimed the lives of Edward Cullen and Bella Swan. You're dead. And that means you're safe. No one will come looking for you."

"Oh God.", I felt my stomach tighten. Edward looked at me, solemnly.

"My Dad…", I said in a little voice, "He'll think…"

Or maybe he'd be smart enough to realize it was a trick to keep our enemies away from us. If not, he'd think he let me go and then we both got killed because of it. He'd blame himself for my death. He'd hate Edward for getting me killed along with himself. Please, Dad, figure it out. Don't believe I'm dead. Know that I'm going to be happy somewhere.

"I know.", Edward said, his voice just as small as mine as he held my hand, "Joseph and Katherine…Emmett…"

"I hate this…I really hate this…", I complained, almost to myself.

"I'm so sorry, Bella.", his eyes softened and gazed into mine, "If you'd never met me, this wouldn't have happened…"

"Hey.", I jerked on his hand, looking right back at him, "I'd rather be dead now…than to have lived a thousand years and not know you. So shut up."

He managed a little smile then as I leaned into his arms, knowing I could find some peace in those arms. They were so good at holding me and melting away my sadness and fears.

"Yes, Volvo killer.", he teased as I pinched his nipple through his t-shirt, making him yelp out and yank away for a second.

"Alright, enough back there.", the man scowled at us, "We're here."

"Let's hope they check our plane for explosives.", Edward grumbled under his breath to me as we parked and got out of the car, the marshals coming with us.

Sitting in the plane, all we knew was Wyoming. Edward had peeked and saw it written on the tickets the female had picked up at the ticketing counter. He had whispered this information to me as our marshals sat in the seats across from us, facing us. I let Edward have the window seat. I was okay with flying, but the takeoff…I absolutely hated.

What do I know about Wyoming? Not much. I whispered into Edward's ear.

"Is it nice there?", I asked, as if I'd care, as long as we were all together, and he'd have Katie.

He smiled and glanced at the marshals, then whispered back.

"I've heard it's nice. Mountains and lots of wildlife. People go there a lot to camp in the woods.", he informed.

I smiled back at him, letting it tell him what I truly felt. That doesn't sound so terrible. Actually, it sounds wonderful. I thought back to my first thought about being in a relationship with him, and how we had mountains in our way. It made me chuckle to myself that we'd be surrounded by mountains now.

After I nearly crushed Edward's hand while we took off, we were in the air and the marshals loosened up a bit.

They informed us where we were headed and said they'd tell us more once we were there. I didn't realize it but they would also be assigning us jobs to further hide us. I wondered if I could still attend college now but I decided to wait to ask that later.

I laid back in my seat, just finding comfort in the quiet ride of the airplane…and that Edward's hand was holding mine. I turned to him and opened my eyes…and he was laying back in his seat, staring back at me, as if studying me.

"What?", I got concerned right away.

"Are you afraid?", he asked with a deep voice.

"Yes.", I had to be honest, "You?"

"Yes.", he told the truth too and I was so glad.

"But I'm not sorry.", I brought his hand to my lips and gave it a gentle kiss, "I'll never be sorry, Edward Cullen. Love you."

"Love YOU.", he grinned back, kissing my knuckles now.

I remembered when Edward had taken my check for twenty thousand, promising I wouldn't be sorry. He was so right.

He smiled and asked, "What do _you _desire, notebook girl?"

I blushed fully. This is the first thing he asked me, inside his vampire cage. And all the seduction and fire was still there in his sexy voice. I guess he'd always be a flirt…and I was okay with that…as long as he flirted with me and no one else.

He gave a little laugh, getting the same blush from me as I'm sure he got out of me that first night.

"Don't be afraid.", he repeated his words to me from that night, his finger playing around my jawbone, "I won't bite…much."

He moved my face aside with his finger and opened his mouth, coming towards my jugular vein with those lips.

"Wait, no..", I put a hand to the base of his neck as he halted, "Can I just…kiss you?"

He smiled darkly at me.

"Where would you like it?"

"Everywhere.", I changed my original answer and surprised him. Before I had said on my lips, on my mouth! I was so afraid of him. But yet I knew I needed him even then.

He smiled and leaned towards me again.

"But for now, how about right here?", I pointed at my lips.

"An honor.", he replied, as sweetly as he did that first night…and he kissed me…deep and so well that my toes tingled when he was finished.

He sighed and grinned at me, looking a little dizzy.

"How was that?" he asked for my approval, as he did that night.

I sighed in response, staring into those two divine green orbs slightly above me.

"Your eyes are so pretty.", I stole that from my conversation with him in the awaken room.

"Well, thank you.", he took my face into his hands, ready to kiss me again, coming closer, and adding, "It's not often I get compliments on my eyes. I appreciate that."

His eyes _are_ magical. I'm not afraid anymore.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

See next chapter soon!!

Love

WinndSinger

Yes, there will be a scene where Bella meets Katie and Ed and Katie will be reunited.

See ya soon!


	40. I am Daddy

40

EPOV

I laid my head back and closed my eyes and for once I didn't see Victoria…or Kevin…or even Bella. There was just blackness…and peace. I liked it. I felt my lips smile as I enjoyed a true sensation of nothingness. There was no need to think right now. No worry, no fear, no sadness or anxiety. Nothing. I was enjoying it immensely and Bella was sweet enough to let me be, maybe looking out her window…maybe wondering what her life would become in Wyoming.

Then some whore part of me that still existed came up with the idea of taking Bella into the tiny bathroom at the end of the row and induct her into the mile high club. I frowned slightly at myself. How gross. Would I ever leave this part of me behind? Would it always be there, like a scar that would always remind me of what I was…what I could never escape?

I am on my way to a clean place…a good place…where my daughter and Tanya's parents are waiting for me to finally rejoin their family…and bring Bella into it. And I have bathroom sex on my mind. I shoved the image out of my head…of Bella sitting on the silver metal sink, her legs spread open as far as she could manage it in the narrow room, and me buried deep inside her, clutching her ass, thrusting and drowning her moans with my open mouth that took her lips captive into mine. Now that I see that image…it's not that disgusting. It's kinda hot, actually. But no, not this trip. It's not right.

Bella is right. I am going to need a doctor, someone I could tell these things to, with no fear of Bella hearing some of the sick things that roll around in my brain. Maybe it will be easier to tell these things to someone I have no emotional bond with. Someone I won't have to fear will look at me differently and recoil from me when it all got to be too much to bear. I do hold back a lot with Bella, afraid she'll see me for what I am. I can't do that anymore. I have to change. And then I'm afraid to change. Bella fell in love with me as I am now, why I have no idea, but she did. If I change, maybe she won't love who I change into.

So much for enjoying the darkness and nothingness. It never lasts very long, those little moments of blankness.

I opened my eyes and glanced past the marshals across from me, to find Bella at my right side, staring out at the earth far below us. I always love looking at things from this high up, as the plane readies to land. Everything looks so miniature, like a model someone built. Tiny little dots, cars, driving down the thin little line that's a highway. Little houses, lakes, mountains, grass, fields. This doesn't look like New York, that's for sure. It wasn't cluttered or crowded…it looked open and there's plenty of room for forests and hills and trees. I liked it right away, even from way up here.

"Looks like a nice place.", I said in a low whisper, just for Bella to hear, "We can make a good life here, together, all of us."

I prayed she agreed with my thoughts…I waited for her response, or even the way she looked at me in return.

She let out a little breath and turned to me, tears shining in her eyes. And she smiled at me. I shivered a little inside, so relieved and excited by it. It meant she wasn't regretting this, or me. That she wasn't angry for having to leave New York behind, along with all her dreams of graduating from NYU and having her career there, like she told me when we first met. It meant she was with me, with us – Katie and I, and Ben and Angela, no matter what. And then she spoke to me.

"We can make a good life anywhere, Edward, as long as we're all together.", she whispered back firmly. She held my hand and squeezed it gently.

"Don't worry, Edward.", Bella gave me a little smile, "We'll be great. It'll take work and time…but we'll all be fine. I'm not going anywhere. I'm with you, forever."

"But you love New York.", I began, ready to screw this up for myself already.

"I love you more.", she cut me off right away, putting her fingers to my lips and I loved the way her soft fingertips felt there. I puckered my lips and kissed the skin against them with pure love.

"I love you too, Bella.", I said as her fingers ghosted from my lips and down my cheekbone, "I love you so much. I'm so afraid I'm gonna screw this up."

"No, Edward.", she shook her head slightly, looking at me like a teacher looking at a first grader, "This is a whole new start, a second chance. Don't go into it like that. We'll take things one step at a time. We'll make up our own rules as we go along. And if we do make a mistake, we'll fix it. We don't have to be perfect, you know. No one is. It's our mistakes that teach us. "

I smiled, "Like your mistake of buying a toy?"

She frowned at me and then smirked at me.

"You're no mistake, Edward.", she said with no hint of hesitation, "And even if you were, I'd make it all over again. You have taught me so much. You have no idea."

I smiled and decided to tease her a little. I so loved doing that to her.

"Would you still pay twenty grand for me?", I smiled wider as I posed this question.

She returned my smile and added a little giggle to it.

"Definitely not.", she teased back.

Smiling more, I kissed her fingers and asked, "How much would you pay?"

"Hmmm.", she squinted, considering, "Well, the sex is incredible, I have to give you that."

I just laughed at that one.

"But you are a brat, that's for sure.", she continued, "Everything I know about you took forever to get out of you…and it was never easy learning all about Edward Cullen. And you definitely threw your share of tantrums."

So true. I was lucky if she said anything over $500.

"Wait, I think I have some change.", she grabbed her purse and began to reach into the bottom for some coins.

We both laughed as I playfully slapped her arm. I wish I had access to her ass to give that a nice swat.

"Just kidding, Eduardo.", she leaned in and kissed my lips, very soft.

"I know.", I kissed her back, wanting another one of those sweet kisses.

I heard the woman marshal mumble "Get a room" but I ignored it. Nothing could piss me off right now.

Bella whispered into my ear, "Making love to you – I could never put a price on that. There's not enough money in the world…loving you…I can never pay you enough for that."

I gave her a little kiss and said, "Maybe we can work something out. Maybe I can let you do it in installments. How's your credit score?"

She burst out laughing again, and we began play fighting.

"Punk.", she muttered.

I rested again after that, feeling so renewed. We will have a great life. Everything will be good. We'll make sure of it. I was starting to get more and more anxious to see Katie. It was really going to happen! I'd be going to bed tonight down the hall from her room. I'd get to tuck her in and kiss her goodnight. Maybe I'd fall asleep in her bed with her, watching Sponge Bob, if she'd allow me. I wondered if she'd be angry with me, for being gone for so long. Maybe I'd need to go slow with her, give her time to get to know me again. There'd be so much of my past I'd have to hide or just simply forget so I could be a good Dad for her again. I swore to myself to be patient, to be like Bella always was with me as I resisted her. I'd make myself worthy of Katie…and Bella. I swore it with every fiber of my being.

The slave whore is dead. Edward Cullen has risen from the grave and has one last chance to make things right. This is a brand new life. Thank you. Thank you Tanya, God, or whoever else might have had a hand in this. I know damn well this didn't just all happen by accident. Someone decided it was time to save me. And they did.

Before we landed, the male marshal told us that he couldn't give us specifics on our friends, but that Jasper and his family joined the program and were already safely away somewhere. Emmett, too. I hoped he got his wish and found that farm he was dreaming of. I laughed whenever I thought of him trying to milk a cow. Good Luck, my best friend…my brother. I hated it that I didn't get to say goodbye to them, but that's the way this program works.

But then, I already knew what Emmett would say. We don't need to have a big long goodbye to know how the other felt. He took care of me, every day, even if I didn't ask for it or seem to need it. He was there. He is my family, no matter where he is now. I hope that I was able to bring him some of the laughter and kindness that he so freely gave to me. I'll really miss him…and Jasper, too. It's a gift, having such friends when you're an owned whore who sells himself for money every day.

Alice and Rosalie didn't join the program. We were told that no one of James' family really knew anything of their involvement in all this, and they were able to stay in New York and keep pursuing their dreams. I was glad not every life would be forever changed because of me. Alice and Jasper went their separate ways and that made me a little sad. Maybe if they'd had more time, like Bella and I had, they'd have been madly in love, but their time together was too short, or maybe it just wasn't meant to be.

Bella said that Charlie would most likely be going home to Forks. And she whispered to me that she'd have to find some way of contacting him to let him know we were alright, even if was only a blank postcard or something. I knew that was against the rules of the program, but I couldn't argue with her.

I myself was thinking up a plan to let Joseph and Katherine know I was alive and well, too. But then my rational side argued against it, saying if anything went wrong, they'd find us. They'd kill us all, Katie, too. Why did this second chance have to be so hard? How could I truly be happy when in the back of my head, Katherine and Joseph were there, crying, thinking I was dead, just when I came back into their lives? I'd have to think more about this before I did anything.

We didn't linger long at the airport when we arrived. There was no luggage to pick up and the marshals quickly obtained us a rental car. It was a gray Mitsubishi Outlander with lots of room for us in the back seat while the marshals rode up front.

The sun was shining very happily above us and I noticed it was warm but not hot like it could feel in New York around this time of year. Also, there was a nice scent in the air. I couldn't tell you what it is but I noticed it and liked it instantly. It seemed to soothe me. I even opened the window on my side half way down so it would blow over my face and play with my hair as we began moving…going to Katie.

I don't know exactly why but I felt scared now. Katie was close by. We were going to see her now. I owed her some pretty huge apologies and explanations. What if she was mad at me? What if she hated me? Worse…what if she was indifferent to me? That would be the worst.

Bella reached over and held my hand. I looked into her face and saw a gentle smile waiting there for me. I tried to smile back but I'm sure she didn't buy it.

Something inside me wished that she wouldn't tell me how alright it was all going to be. For once, I didn't want any assurances. I just wanted her to be with me. And she was. She didn't say a word. I smiled a real little smile and then turned back to stare out the window.

I wanted to take in the town and the stores and the people walking around but all I could see was Katie. Ben and Angela had told me every detail of her every surgery and described how she looked after each one, but there was no way for me to see it firsthand. They offered to mail me pictures of her but I couldn't have my daughter's pictures being mailed to Fire. I didn't want any part of her in that place. The thought sickened me.

The last time I saw Katie's face it was badly scarred, although she never looked ugly or deformed to me. She couldn't. What would I say to her? She wasn't a little baby anymore. She'd be mad at me if I talked to her like she were still three years old. I'd have to be sure to treat her like the almost nine year old she is now. But I talked to her on the phone everyday, why am I so afraid now of how I'm talking to her? I am such a mess.

All too soon, the car stopped and the man at the wheel turned back to us.

"We're home.", he said with a little grin. The female marshal smiled more at Bella but neither of us made a move from our seats.

I looked and saw a cute little house with a nice sized front lawn, green and full. There was even a couple of golden tulips growing near the door. The house was white with a royal blue door, shutters to match. The number on it read 304. It was a two story house. Bedrooms upstairs.

There was a driveway for two cars and a closed garage on the side. All the houses on the street looked pretty much alike, a typical suburban neighborhood.

I just looked at it and felt my lips smile. The sun shone over it peacefully, almost lovingly. There seemed to be something special watching over the little place.

"I always wanted a sweet little home like this for Katie.", I heard myself confess in a soft voice, "I always loathed her being cooped up in our apartment on the ninth floor. Is there a back yard?"

"Sure.", the woman marshal answered, opening her car door, "Come on, we'll show you."

I tensed and froze.

Katie is in there. What if she's watching us right now?

"Go ahead, we'll be there in a second, okay?", Bella asked them. They gave a nod and exited the car, closing their doors as they strolled around the side of the house and went into the back yard, disappearing from view.

"I know.", Bella squeezed my hand.

"She should hate me.", I whispered, feeling tears prick my eyes.

"She won't.", Bella assured me, "You're Daddy. Take it from me, a daughter. We always love our Daddies, even if they screw up now and then."

"How are you always so sure?", I asked, almost defensively, "How do you know?"

"Daddy is the first man we fall in love with.", Bella informed, "And we never lose our first love."

I never thought of it that way. It's a nice sentiment.

"Come on, let's go see the back yard.", Bella opened her door and pulled me by my hand, not giving me the luxury of wallowing in my fears for too long.

Before I knew it, I was out of the car and walking at her side, not being dragged behind her, to the yard in back. The marshals were off a good distance away, to the left. The yard was a very nice size and I loved that. There was room to run back here…and there was a tall tree here, protecting the grounds. Hanging from one of its branches were three ropes holding a black tire horizontally, the open hole in the center so someone could sit upon it.

I smiled more.

"Katie loved to swing.", I recalled verbally before I realized I was doing it.

I seemed to be slightly out of it, picturing a three year old Katie running and playing here…asking me to push her. Back when she needed me…wanted me. I'm sure she didn't need me much anymore.

"Be right back, okay?", Bella asked but I didn't even respond. I just stared into space and felt her hand slip away from mine.

Slowly, I made my way to the swing and my fingers coiled around the ropes, wishing I really did have a beautiful three year old below me, adoring me with her eyes like she used to…she used to brush my hair…and give me butterfly kisses. How could I ever get that back? Did I even deserve it back?

"Cool swing, huh?"

I spun around, knowing that voice at once. I heard it every day of my life at three o' clock. I lived for it. I endured everything, knowing that the next day at three I could hear her and for a brief amount of time, not be a whore or a slave. I was Daddy. And if I didn't have that, I never would've made it through my years with Victoria.

There was a beautiful girl there, a distance away. Not little like she used to be, but still small to me. Her long straight strands of red hair blew across her perfect face and she didn't reach up to tame them. She seemed to feel more comfortable as her face was partially hidden from view. She was smiling. Her lips. They were perfect and full and a deep shade of pink. When I left her, I couldn't even kiss her lips because they were burnt off and her mouth was just an opening that hurt too much to even touch.

She was wearing a blue t shirt and a pair of light blue denim shorts. And bare feet, no socks or shoes. She had just come out here from inside, not pausing to put them on first. Did she really want to see me that bad?

I blinked and was ashamed to feel two wet lines run down my face as she studied me. I felt not good enough, not strong enough…not worthy enough to be Daddy to her.

Her chin trembled and she half laughed and sobbed in one sound and ran with all her might up to me.

Just as I felt myself fall to my knees she was all around me, holding me so tight around my neck and my nose buried itself into her silk hair. She smelled like the wind and grass and a faint touch of Bonnie Bell perfume danced around us, surprising me.

I used to buy her that because she envied her mother's many fancy perfumes so much and would often be caught playing at her vanity table, doused in five different ones at once, asking me how she smelled while I carried her to the tub, holding my breath. I almost forgot about that.

Was she really still wearing it, remembering me too?

I almost asked her about it but didn't want to embarrass her.

I just held her, so tight…then loosened so I wouldn't hurt her. I wasn't sure if all her skin was restored and would hate for my first hug to cause her physical pain.

And I couldn't help it but I was sobbing like a child, never wanting to let her go, ever. She clung to me and it did hurt my neck but it was the greatest hurt I'd ever felt in my life. Her little fingers were in my hair and I just laid my forehead on her shoulder and cried some more, praying I wasn't scaring her. I tried to stop, but the more I did the more noise I made.

"Don't cry, Daddy.", she whimpered in my ear as my trembling hands rested on her back, comforted by the smooth cotton of her shirt.

I was scaring her. Shit. I ordered myself to stop this now. Holding it in, I heard myself give a low growl, angry at my weakness.

"It's okay.", she kept comforting me, stroking the back of my hair, "You're home now."

She pulled back from me and looked down into my wet face, finding my eyes and she looked scared suddenly.

"You are here to stay, right?", she asked, a little guarded, "You don't have to work anymore, do you?"

Work. Ben must've told her I was away working so she could get her operations. He painted me in a noble shade of colors to Katie. He didn't let her hate me. I owed him everything.

I still couldn't speak and I shook my head, smiling as the tears fell again. She squealed out in pure joy, crushing my head in her arms as she celebrated, hugging me tighter to her.

"I'm here to stay.", I said, my voice cracking everywhere, wanting to make it clear to her, "I'm yours…I'll never leave you again. I am so sorry. Kaitlyn."

I wanted to treat her like a big girl, not a baby, so I used Kaitlyn. It sounded so formal to me, like she was a stranger to me. Maybe I'd have to get to know her all over again. Maybe everything I thought I knew about her was gone now that she was growing up.

I told her I'd never leave her again. She's probably repulsed by that idea. In a few short years, she'll be trying to get away from me, an embarrassed teenager not wanting her friends to see her clingy father.

"Katie, Dad.", she corrected and I cried again. She's still my Katie. After all this.

She called me Dad, not Daddy. I felt that sting but shoved it away. I'm lucky she's hugging me and calling me anything except bastard. I'm grateful to still be invited into her magical embrace.

"Katie.", I breathed, my sobs finally calming themselves a little.

She was so loving, so brave. She kept holding me, stroking me and not pulling away like some kids would when confronted by a weeping adult. I didn't know this side of her but I admired it and her so much. She's strong.

"It's okay, Daddy.", her little voice said, reminding me of Bella's favorite phrase, and she planted kisses on my head, ignoring my unruly hair as she did so.

Maybe I could hold it together long enough to get a good look at her face without scaring her more, although she didn't seem scared of the way I was acting.

My knees were damp in the grass but I stayed there. If I should kneel before anyone, it was her. I was ready to beg her forgiveness. An angel stood before me, worthy of my servitude, my life belonged to her. My every day would be for her. My every breath would be hers.

She waited for me to calm, showing no signs of wanting to bolt. Patience. Another new thing inside her that I didn't get to see bloom. Katie has been through so much, I realized. She was sure to have traits that normal girls her age didn't have yet or would never have. I intended to hear every story, know every thing that shaped her into this amazing little person who was holding me.

"Here.", she gently tilted my face up towards hers and did something I used to do to her when she cried. She covered my face with fun little kisses, making the smooching sound I used to do. It always made her laugh. Now it was working on me. I smiled and laughed quietly, enjoying the memory and the lightness of the moment…until she slowed her kisses.

She placed one deep kiss on my forehead, then pressed her shiny lips to my right eyelid…then kissed the other, my eyes closing as she seemed to heal me with every touch of her. My eyes were wet but she kissed them anyway. She kissed my tears away. She kissed my nose and slowly gave me an Eskimo kiss with her own.

I smiled more, keeping my eyes closed, feeling as if these moments were causing me to grow wings.

"My Daddy.", she stopped and rested her forehead on mine, "Still so pretty. I missed you so so much."

I almost sobbed again.

"I missed you too, baby.", I choked, holding her face, looking into her deep bluish-green eyes, "So, so much."

You'll never know how damn much I missed you, Katie. I wasn't truly alive since the day I left her with Ben and Angela. Only Bella had made me feel life spark again inside my dead heart. Now it was raging inside me like an inferno, wild and out of control. But this fire wouldn't harm Katie at all. It would maybe shine the way now for her, glowing…telling her she was loved…and not alone. It said, "Daddy is here. And he'll never let you go again."

"My turn.", I smiled up at her, gently and very slowly moving so not to alarm her.

I moved the strands of hair as the wind played with them, away from her face…wanting to see every inch, every detail. She giggled and closed her eyes as if we were playing a game and allowed me time to ghost my fingers over her forehead, gliding over her eyebrows, tracing over her closed eyelids…my eyes slaves to her and my mouth open in amazement as I marveled at those long yellow-reddish eyelashes. I smiled, holding my tears in my eyes, not letting them spill out as I moved my shaky finger down the slope of her little nose, the little button tip of it so round, like a fairy's would be. I stroked her cheekbone with the back of my fingers…so carefully and tenderly that they almost didn't even touch her skin. She giggled, as if this tickled and my mouth smiled more. She kept her eyes closed.

I almost didn't dare it but then my fingers moved of their own want and moved over her little smile. She puckered her lips and kissed them innocently, probably wondering when I'd get on with the game and cover her face with my smooching kisses. She had probably missed it as much as I had. So I would deny her no longer and decided I would admire her later, maybe while she slept.

I made myself be careful as I could but smooched kisses all over her face, head, and ears while she belly laughed, squirming in my arms a little, not really trying to escape me. She was heaven in a little mortal body. And she was mine. I didn't deserve her. But she was mine anyway.

I had to say what every fiber in me was thinking.

"You are so beautiful.", I whispered, "So so beautiful."

I was staring at her face and she had a funny little look in her eyes at this.

"Because of YOU.", she smiled a bit.

She thought I was talking about her face…about what her surgeries had done for her. I had to clear that up right now.

"No.", I almost said too loudly, my hands moving up and down her smooth arms.

I tipped her chin up and said, "You are beautiful, but, Katie, you've ALWAYS been beautiful. I'm not just talking about your face, Katie. I mean, YOU are beautiful. Do you know what I mean?"

She smiled down at me, seeming wiser than an ordinary little girl. She probably was. She's seen things no child should ever have to see. She's probably known cruelty from others in its ugliest form. She's also known unconditional love from her grandparents in the face of all that, too. And she's had to face it without her mother or father. She is light years smarter than I am. I just knew that she understood by the way she was looking at me.

No fire, no tragedy could diminish her beauty. No evil could touch what she is. And if it ever tried, I'd pounce on it and tear it to shreds with my savage teeth. I am her Daddy. I am protector. I am the wall that must keep the Jameses and Victorias away. I would gladly do my duty to her for the rest of my life.

"Remember this, Daddy?", she asked, using Daddy as my name again and I had to admit I felt high inside at the sound of it.

She had a little plastic gold ring around her middle finger and slipped it off. It took a couple tugs to remove it, which told me she wore it often.

"Oh my God!", I gasped, remembering it, "You still have this?"

"Of course, it's my wedding ring!", she informed as if I were dumb to even question it, "Remember when we got married?"

I did remember. Katie loved Disney and every movie ended with the prince and princess getting married and living happily ever after. She looked sad one day and told me that she wished she could get married and have someone love her like that. I told her someday she would find a great man that would. Then she discovered that meant he would take her away from me. She didn't like that at all. A couple days later, she asked me to marry her. She even got down on one knee and took my hand.

It was the cutest and funniest…and most wonderful moment of my life. And she was only three, she didn't understand the complexities of romance and love and marriage. But in her child mind, she was saying that I was the man in her life, and she loved me, and wanted to be with my forever. I knew that would change someday as she grew up, but I couldn't deny her. I accepted her sweet proposal and then our big palace wedding preparations began.

I let her order me around like a slave and she told me exactly how she wanted everything to be. Since Katie's room was already designed like a princess' room, thanks to Tanya's artistic painting on all the walls, I didn't have to do much transforming there, but I did borrow Tanya's fancy red silk bedsheets (ones we didn't use anymore now that we were parents) and spread them on the floor so my princess could walk to the altar upon the luxurious train she desired.

Tanya would've killed me if she caught us but then I went even further and let Katie wear one of Tanya's fancy white gowns that was far too long for her, along with lots of her nicest jewelry. Tanya's prom tiara served as a nice crown and I even let Katie do her own lipstick, using Tanya's shiny red one. She said the groom wasn't allowed to do the bride's makeup so I just watched, trying not to laugh as she covered her mouth and lots of skin around her mouth with the lipstick. She was the most stunning bride I'd ever seen.

I was so not good enough for her and I kept wondering when her father would break in and stop this wedding because of it.

I searched around in vain in her toy box for a ring. I could've sworn I had bought lots of fake jewelry sets for her but I'd be damned if I could find any of them now. Finally, I got lucky and found a Barbie with a plastic gold bracelet. I fought her and mugged her, stealing it off her wrist. It was just the right size.

We didn't have a minister to do the talking, but we didn't need one. I explained to Katie that weddings could be different from the ones on TV and all we needed to do was say we loved each other, let me put the ring on her finger, smooch, and that was it.

I was told I needed a prince's cape so I borrowed a black silk sheet from our old beddings and tied it around my neck. I wished I could've found a color besides black. I felt so weird and evil in it. I know if anyone else spied this little scene, I'd look about as innocent as Michael Jackson in the middle of one of his sleepovers, but I didn't care. This was purely innocent and my little girl wanted to play wedding. I was honored to be chosen as the groom. One day, she'd marry for real and I'd be giving her away.

I knelt and began to sing the melody of here comes the bride. She was so cute holding flowers and taking small steps, putting her feet together before taking the next step. She really did watch weddings closely on TV.

I held in my big smile, not wanting her to scold me for laughing at her. After all, this was a serious moment. It's not everyday you get married.

She was finally in front of me and I thought up what to say to begin this ceremony.

Oh! Right!

"We are gathered here today", I said in a loving voice as I looked into her eyes, "To celebrate our love and to vow never to be apart."

That sounds innocent, I hoped.

"What does vow mean ?", Katie whispered to me.

"Oh, sorry.", I whispered, "It means, promise."

She nodded and smiled big, having no problem with this.

"That means you promise never to run off with some cuter guy.", I teased, "Or a younger guy, or richer, or more fun than your old man. And you promise to listen to every thing I say, until you're…mmm…eighty five years old."

"I promise.", she twinkled with purity, having no idea what she was swearing to me.

"I wish I had this on tape.", I mumbled to myself, knowing the minute she turned 16, she'd forget these promises. We'd fight almost every day and I'd have to keep the boys away from her. I wasn't looking forward to that.

Alright, getting to a lighter note…

I decided to make my vow first, showing her how.

"Katie Cullen...", I cleared my throat, smiling as I looked into her eyes, taking her little hand and holding the ring, not slipping it onto her finger yet, "I love you with all my heart. And I will always love you. You are the most beautiful girl in the whole world, you have a magical laugh, and you're also very smart. Marriage is not only about being beautiful, you know, Katie. Your husband also has to respect you for your brains and what you are inside. Don't ever forget that, alright?"

"Alright.", she said, not looking too sure of what I was trying to say. I decided to Disney it up a little to make her happy.

"For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, from now to forever…I promise to love you…always.", I swore, meaning it completely, as if I had a choice in that. Loving her was like breathing. I had to, I lived to.

I leaned down and kissed her forehead, closing my eyes, and I slipped the ring onto her finger. It slid right on, not too tight, not too loose.

"Now me!", she looked at me, wanting her turn.

"Yes, now you.", I gave a nod, smiling.

"Edward Cullen…", she said in her baby voice, trying to sound grown up.

"You are the cutest boy I know.", she began as I tried not to laugh, "And you're very smart, too. You always know how to make me breakfast, lunch, and dinner, you carry me on your shoulders when I get tired, and you know when all my favorite shows come on. I like it when you sleep in my bed with me and watch TV with me. You drive us to the park and to the store and I like that. I love it when you get me a new Barbie, even if I don't ask for one. You are a wonderful husband and I love you."

She took my hand and slipped an invisible ring onto my middle finger. To me, it was more real than any ring I ever owned. I'd never be without it.

She pulled me to her by my cape and kissed me big on the lips, covering my mouth with the abundant amount of lipstick she was wearing. I guess she saw the bride and groom kiss on the lips somewhere.

"MMMWAHH!!", she sounded as she ended the kiss and released me. She looked so happy as she beamed at me.

"You're mine now.", she announced.

I've always been yours, baby…I always will be.

"Now I carry you over the threshold!", I scooped her up in my arms, bridal style and stood up, swinging her in my arms and spinning around, making her belly laugh as she clutched onto me.

Finally I stopped and she just laid in my arms, smiling up at me with so much love in her eyes.

"I love you Daddy.", she said as naturally as letting out a breath.

"I love you, too, baby.", I said with all my heart.

The moment was perfect. And then I decided to tease her a little.

I stood her on her bed and looked down at her.

"Now go clean my house and cook me something nice for dinner.", I smirked.

Maybe if I showed her what married life was really, she wouldn't try to get married away from me so fast later.

She squealed out in protest and jumped off the bed, ready to argue.

"No, no, no!", she began as I smiled, walking to the living room with her right on my heels, "Now you take me on a honeymoon!"

I laughed, keeping my cape on for now. I wanted to tease her some more but couldn't do it to her, she was too cute.

"Where would you like to go, Mrs. Cullen?", I sat on the sofa, watching her crawl up on it next to me.

"DISNEY WORLD!", she shouted.

Oh God, I still have the lipstick all over my mouth. I'd have to wait to wipe it off.

"I didn't see that coming.", I muttered.

She laughed and hopped off the couch, going to my bedroom. For a second, I thought I got off easy. She usually begged me for an hour to take her to Disney World, like it was ten minutes away. Damn TV Disney World commercials!

I heard a couple noises I wasn't sure of and then Katie was coming out of my room with my pillows in her hands. She went into her room and placed them on her bed. She came back and was on her way back to my room again.

"What're you doing, Mrs. Cullen?", I raised a brow.

"Moving your stuff into my room.", she informed as if this was obvious and disappeared into my room again.

Uh oh. I had to find a nice way of handling this one. If all my things were moved out of our bedroom, it was set Tanya off, making her think I did it because of the tension between us.

"Uhhh…wait a minute, honey.", I followed her into my room, ready for our first argument as man and wife.

I was back in the present now with my almost nine year old daughter and was smiling from ear to ear.

"I remember.", I said, almost breaking down again, slipping it back onto her finger.

"You're still mine, Daddy.", she hugged me again, softer this time.

That's what this ring meant to her. That even though I was gone, I was still hers, because I had promised. She believed me. And she waited for me.

I wanted to ask her why, why she still wanted me, why she even thought I was good enough for her. She didn't know where I'd been the last few years. She could never know. I would die if she found out and hated me for it.

As my brain reeled with all this, she simplified it all, as she always did for me.

"Push me, Dad?", she backed from me and climbed on the tire swing.

I numbly stood and followed, like a hypnotized servant as she held onto the ropes and waited for me. I moved around behind her, and magically, at that second, it was like not a day had gone by. My little girl wanted me to push her on the swing. She loves me. She forgives me. And finally, I was able to take a deep breath, letting go of a great deal of pain. It wasn't completely gone, but right now at this moment, I feel clean…and free…and real. I'm a Daddy…still…always.

I pulled back gently on the ropes of the swing and pushed, not too hard. My hands still thought of her as three years old, I guess.

"Harder, DAD!!", she demanded as she swung back to me, "Come on!!"

Uh oh, she's a little thrill seeker now. She used to be so scared to go up high. She's not a baby anymore.

"Alright, you asked for it!", I bit down on my bottom lip and devilishly grabbed the tire and hurled it down with half my might.

Her blood piercing scream shot up to the trees above, birds flying away in terror. I looked and saw Bella near the house talking to Ben and Angela. They were all looking at Katie and I, smiling, letting us alone, letting us play.

I hope this sleepy little town is ready. The Cullens have arrived. Oh sorry, the Masens. That's our new fake last name, me being Anthony Masen. Am I supposed to be Italian? I hope no one calls me Tony. I refuse to answer to that.

One thing is for sure.

Nothing will ever be the same again. Thank God.

I drew a line in the earth as Katie swung away from me. I crossed over it, and pushed Katie again, hearing her approving screams as she soared up. I'm here. I've crossed the line and am Daddy now. I'll never go back again. I'm here…forever, for better or worse…from now to forever.

THE END!!!

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Notes: I can't believe it's over! I'm so sad right now. I'll be bummed all weekend now. But, no I shouldn't be. It was a great time I had writing this story and I'm thankful for the dream I had that inspired this one. What a great dream it was! Just like Stephanie Meyer having her twilight dream, I know, it's so cool.

Well, I also want to thank everyone who's read this story. There were some rocky times there but you all stuck with me, thanks again. Love it or hate it, this inspired lots of emotions in everyone and I didn't always expect it, but it was great fun anyway. I hope you let me know how you liked it and give me a little time and there will be a sequel to this. I love these guys too much to end it here. Put me in your fave authors so when I post it, you don't miss it.

Love all you guys! See you soon!

PS – I just saw How to Be and it was hilarious!! Rob is so cute as a nerd! I would've loved to jump in that movie and be his friend and show him how to find some happiness. Step one – move away from those parents! They sucked hard ! Step two – move in with me!! LOL !! If anyone else has seen it, let me know what you thought of it.

Bye for now!!

WinndSinger


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